Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,071
What you doing, Carlton?
2
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,707
Oh, packing away my CDs.
3
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:12,709
Will and I made a bet. For one week,
I'm not allowed to listen to Tom Jones...
4
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:17,248
...and he's not allowed to listen
to that god-awful Biggie Smalls.
5
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:20,318
We have $50 riding on it
and I'm gonna win.
6
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,613
Who's Tom Jones?
7
00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:27,720
Nicky, Nicky.
Tom Jones is the King of Swing.
8
00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:29,555
The Tower of Power. Mr. Vegas.
9
00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:31,219
This guy's a legend.
10
00:00:34,901 --> 00:00:36,698
Can I hear one of his songs?
11
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,998
Oh, I'd love to, but no can do.
12
00:00:40,673 --> 00:00:42,937
Please?
13
00:00:45,612 --> 00:00:50,106
Well, I guess one song wouldn't hurt.
14
00:01:31,691 --> 00:01:34,558
Just couldn't hang on there could you,
little fella?
15
00:01:34,727 --> 00:01:36,558
Darn.
16
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,858
Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you.
17
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,829
Here's something for your trouble,
little brother. Thanks a lot.
18
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:50,768
Five bucks? What do I look like?
19
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,640
Come on, man.
You got to break me off some.
20
00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,321
- That movie was pathetic.
- Pathetic.
21
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:19,727
Naked women bumping and grinding
on strangers' laps?
22
00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:23,596
And the way them guys
just sat there and took it.
23
00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:28,301
How can anyone find that attractive?
I mean, is our culture that diseased?
24
00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:32,938
You know, just thinking about it
is making me feel dirty.
25
00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:35,637
You know,
I'm gonna have to take a shower.
26
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:38,145
You wanna join me?
27
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:42,419
What am I saying? It's even infected me.
28
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:45,281
Hola.
29
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:47,221
- Hi.
- What'd you guys end up seeing?
30
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,452
- Showgirls.
- Again?
31
00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:52,992
What does that make it,
eight times, Will?
32
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:55,767
Eight times?
33
00:03:55,935 --> 00:03:57,300
You told me you hated it.
34
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:58,903
No, baby, I did.
35
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,905
I mean... And every time,
I wanted to just walk out of there.
36
00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:05,440
I know the feeling, Will. Bye.
37
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:08,103
Wait, but, baby.
38
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,909
Baby, hol... Oh, girl.
39
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:14,983
Boy, did you handle that badly.
40
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,484
Oh, good, Geoffrey, you're here.
41
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:21,752
No.
42
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,896
When did I ever ask you
for anything?
43
00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:26,998
You never stopped asking
from the moment I started here.
44
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:30,033
- That's not true.
- In fact, as I remember...
45
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,603
...I spent my first seven hours
of service here...
46
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:36,435
...installing wall-to-wall carpet
for Barbie's Dream House.
47
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:40,101
Carpet which had
to be promptly removed.
48
00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:44,073
Well, it's not my fault
that when Ken got home, he didn't like it.
49
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:49,387
And it wasn't my fault the dollhouse burnt
to the ground.
50
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,823
Geoffrey, Skipper died in that fire.
51
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:56,655
I don't even wanna think about it.
Look, I need you to hem this dress.
52
00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:58,353
Come on.
53
00:04:58,531 --> 00:04:59,555
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hi, baby.
54
00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:02,963
Have you seen the notes I've been
working on for my speech tomorrow?
55
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,433
They're right here, big guy.
56
00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,664
I've crossed out what didn't work
and rewritten the rest.
57
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,569
How thoughtful.
58
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,976
- Daddy, can I use your car tonight?
- No.
59
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,875
- How about Mom's?
- Talk to her.
60
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,141
Mom, Dad said it's okay
for me to use your car tonight.
61
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,014
I didn't say that.
62
00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:26,056
Those weren't your exact words, Uncle Phil,
but you kind of did imply that...
63
00:05:26,225 --> 00:05:30,161
You know, there was absolutely no reason
for me to jump in here, was there?
64
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,922
None whatsoever.
65
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:35,761
- I'm gonna go ahead and jump out of here.
- Yes, jump on with your bad self.
66
00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:38,563
- It's fine if you take the car, honey.
- Oh, thank you.
67
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,205
Ashley's going out tonight.
68
00:05:40,373 --> 00:05:43,570
I've given Geoffrey the night off
and Nicky's going to his first sleepover.
69
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,210
Mm-hm.
70
00:05:45,445 --> 00:05:48,437
- Philip, the house will be nice and quiet.
- Mm.
71
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:52,849
- You know what that means?
- Yeah, I can finally finish my speech.
72
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:54,714
- Philip.
- What?
73
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:59,486
- What?
- Nobody said anything.
74
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:03,293
Nicky's first sleepover. Ahh.
75
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:05,397
I'll never forget my first overnighter.
76
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,623
Ned Martin's house.
77
00:06:06,799 --> 00:06:09,893
Raised all kinds of heck.
78
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,128
Drank hot chocolate. Had pillow fights.
79
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:14,865
Watched the O.J. trial.
80
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:18,376
What a night.
81
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:25,113
- Hi, Carlton.
- Hi, Michelle.
82
00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:28,651
Here,
I have a special delivery letter for you.
83
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,751
Odd. No return address.
84
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:35,153
A special invitation from me to you
for tonight.
85
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,058
Please R.S.V.P. ASAP.
86
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:39,698
Darn, another chain letter.
87
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,099
Carlton, it's from me.
88
00:06:43,870 --> 00:06:47,203
Sweet cheeks of Buddha,
you pack a wallop.
89
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,572
So you wanna go out tonight?
90
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,205
Oh.
91
00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,242
No can do. I have to study tonight.
92
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,608
On Saturday night?
93
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:59,314
For some, it's bath night.
For me, it's math night.
94
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,612
- But, hey, maybe you could help me?
- Oh.
95
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:04,784
Well, I'd probably just get in your way.
96
00:07:05,391 --> 00:07:07,586
Yeah, you're probably right.
97
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,328
Well, bye.
98
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:12,787
Bye.
99
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:19,134
Hmm. She seems a bit of a gloomy Gus.
100
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,940
I can't believe Michelle hasn't called.
101
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,046
I've left messages. I've paged her.
102
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:31,772
Oh, God, I hope she's not disgruntled.
103
00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:34,952
You better be worrying about me
being disgruntled...
104
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,612
...after the way you messed my date up
today.
105
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,759
Will, I've come to the realization...
106
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,326
...I don't understand women.
107
00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:44,429
Or men, for that matter.
108
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,691
Maybe I should just talk to my Dad.
He understands women.
109
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,767
I'm sorry about before.
110
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:53,804
We're gonna have a great time tonight,
sweetheart. A great time.
111
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,168
You know what I'm saying?
112
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:58,971
I love you. Mm.
113
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,078
Do you?
114
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,780
Sweetheart, I just said I did.
115
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,678
And you look beautiful.
116
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:10,055
- Philip.
- I'm serious.
117
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:14,059
For someone who's had four children,
you look amazing.
118
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:21,464
Sandra, I'm telling you.
I really hated that movie.
119
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:24,535
I don't know.
I guess in some sick kind of way...
120
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,434
...I was just trying to punish myself.
121
00:08:28,441 --> 00:08:31,274
No, no, no. You're right.
No, I can be serious.
122
00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:33,309
Ju... Let me prove it to you.
123
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:37,347
Sandra,
I seriously wanna go out with you tonight.
124
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:39,679
Your cousin?
125
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:43,083
No, no. I mean, I can find somebody
to go out with your cousin, yeah.
126
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:50,426
Oh, no, no. That's no problem at all.
Hey, and I got the perfect guy for the job.
127
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:53,058
All right, baby, you're the breast...
128
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:55,723
Best! Best! I said best!
129
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,274
No.
130
00:09:03,442 --> 00:09:05,535
Hey, hey, Carlton.
Come on, man. You owe me.
131
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,645
You almost wrecked everything
with Sandra.
132
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:09,440
I'm not gonna do it.
133
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:12,106
Oh, you're not gonna do it.
134
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,014
You know what? That's fine.
135
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,654
It's probably time for me
to move on anyway, you know.
136
00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:18,813
As luck would have it,
it's come to my attention...
137
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:22,017
...that there's this cute little mail carrier
that's available.
138
00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:24,389
- You wouldn't.
- Yeah, you're right.
139
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,964
But that would be exactly
what you deserved.
140
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,527
Will, I'm sorry
and I know I owe you one.
141
00:09:29,702 --> 00:09:33,502
But I just wouldn't feel right going out
and having a good time without Michelle.
142
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,005
What if I could promise you
a terrible time?
143
00:09:39,011 --> 00:09:41,343
If I could only be sure.
144
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:46,548
I guarantee you the worst time
that you have ever had in your life.
145
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,679
Okay.
146
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:30,387
We finally have the house
all to ourselves.
147
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,327
Hi.
148
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,730
Don't stop.
Go on with whatever you're doing.
149
00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:41,965
Wait. Oh, my God. Ew. What were you
doing? I don't even wanna think about it.
150
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,371
- Where's Geoffrey?
- He's got the night off.
151
00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:45,737
What about my dress?
152
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:47,742
I'm pretty sure he was wearing pants.
153
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,050
Eww.
154
00:10:59,091 --> 00:11:01,855
Oh, let me tell you now,
that there was some good grub.
155
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,996
That girl can cook.
156
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,064
What about you, Carlton?
Did you enjoy your dinner?
157
00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:09,462
It was fine.
158
00:11:10,469 --> 00:11:12,903
You don't talk much, do you?
159
00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:15,939
Uhh, as a child,
he was dropped on his tongue.
160
00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:20,537
I think he's the strong silent type.
161
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:24,047
Ooh. You are strong.
162
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:27,542
Well, I'm no stranger to the gym.
163
00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:32,190
Carlton, how about some dessert?
I've got ice cream.
164
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:36,220
Sweet chocolate ice cream.
165
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,697
I'm a tutti-frutti man myself.
166
00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:49,140
What the heck is wrong with you, Carlton?
That girl just offered you two scoops.
167
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:52,375
I'm afraid I'm a one-gal guy.
168
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,947
What's so funny?
169
00:11:56,115 --> 00:11:58,549
We were just thinking
of a little game we could play.
170
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,551
- Tiffany.
- Oh, come on, Sandra. It'll be fun.
171
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,815
- Wait. What'll be fun?
- A word game.
172
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:08,448
Oh, that ain't exactly the kind of a game
I was thinking about.
173
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:12,524
It involves the word "strip."
174
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:14,325
Set it up.
175
00:12:19,505 --> 00:12:21,496
Tell me this, Doogie.
176
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:25,541
How is it possible that we're losing?
177
00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:29,010
I can't pull a vowel to save my life.
178
00:12:29,181 --> 00:12:33,277
As soon as you get warm,
I wanna see some skin again.
179
00:12:33,452 --> 00:12:35,579
You're on the demanding side,
ain't you, girl?
180
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,485
- Hey, just play them or lose them.
- Hey. Hey.
181
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:41,259
This thing is not over yet.
182
00:12:45,064 --> 00:12:48,966
Ah! Four. All right. All right.
A four-letter word, four-letter word.
183
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:53,127
Eenie, meenie, minie, mo...
184
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:56,672
...now some of y'all's clothes gots to go.
185
00:12:58,811 --> 00:12:59,971
Tiffany?
186
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:01,573
Hey, who's that?
187
00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,044
Her boyfriend.
188
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:05,080
What? You got a boyfriend?
189
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:06,775
Of course.
190
00:13:09,221 --> 00:13:10,950
One second, Mad Dog.
191
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,718
- Mad Dog?
- Mad Dog?
192
00:13:19,098 --> 00:13:20,122
- Mad Dog.
- Mad Dog.
193
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,665
- Quick, in here.
- Don't pull on me, girl.
194
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:26,771
Hey, would you...? Hey, hey, hey.
All right. Don't be push... Don't be push...
195
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:28,333
This is just great.
196
00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:31,908
I can't believe I let you talk me into this.
I hate you.
197
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:33,305
Shh!
198
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:35,746
The dude is out there.
He's gonna hear us.
199
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:38,383
Hear us? He's gonna kill us.
200
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:41,714
That is if your breath don't kill us first.
201
00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:45,320
Damn, man. Don't you bring a mint
when you go on a date?
202
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,051
As a matter of fact, I do.
They're in my pants pocket.
203
00:13:48,227 --> 00:13:50,354
You wanna go get them for me?
204
00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:51,928
Oh, this is ridiculous.
205
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:56,261
Mad Dog.
I'm sure he's nothing but a pussy cat.
206
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:06,010
He's gonna eat me.
207
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:10,111
And then he gonna floss with me.
208
00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:17,520
I'm tired of your excuses.
But it's not an excuse.
209
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,625
Just give me a minute to explain
and then I'm out of here.
210
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,489
All right. You know, that's cool.
You know.
211
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:30,362
As soon as the Black Ness Monster
explains, we'll be home free.
212
00:14:43,682 --> 00:14:45,343
Shh!
213
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,317
He's sleeping.
Come on, you gotta get out of here.
214
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:50,614
- Come on.
Oh, all right.
215
00:14:54,293 --> 00:14:56,761
I got this strange feeling
we forgetting something.
216
00:14:56,929 --> 00:15:00,831
You're right.
Thank you for a very lovely evening.
217
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:05,061
- Hey, hey, what y'all do with our clothes?
- It's under him.
218
00:15:05,537 --> 00:15:07,971
Why you put our clothes...?
219
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,608
Bel-Air's not that long of a walk.
220
00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:13,908
We just gonna get our clothes,
then we gonna go.
221
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,604
From the looks of this brother,
he's a heavy sleeper.
222
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,909
We all right. We all right.
Go ahead. Go ahead.
223
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,217
Just under. Under.
224
00:15:51,550 --> 00:15:54,144
Go on without me. Save yourself.
225
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:05,155
Forget the clothes.
Let's just get out of here.
226
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:06,662
Let's go.
227
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:09,758
Who the hell are you?
228
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,170
Um...
229
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:22,410
This is just a dream.
230
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:31,516
We're not really here.
231
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:33,350
Stop that.
232
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:40,588
Carlton, stop.
233
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:44,334
I said, who the hell are you?
234
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,800
Um...
235
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:49,233
Surprise!
236
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:52,309
Hey, man. We from
L.A. Stripper Gram. Yeah, you know.
237
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:56,141
We got a special birthday wish
for you from Tiffany.
238
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:57,475
Yeah, you know.
239
00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:00,982
Happy birthday to...
240
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,848
Mad Dog
241
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:07,356
Happy birthday, Mad Dog
242
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:09,260
It's not my birthday.
243
00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:17,160
Macho, macho man
244
00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:20,301
I've got to be a macho man
245
00:17:20,472 --> 00:17:22,736
Young man, there's a place you can go
246
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:25,741
I said, young man
You're all out on your own
247
00:17:25,911 --> 00:17:28,402
I said, Y-M-C-A
248
00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:31,549
Y- M-C-A
249
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:32,842
Stop it.
250
00:17:33,018 --> 00:17:34,610
Stop it.
251
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:39,481
You know what? Somebody in here
is trying to play me for a fool.
252
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,285
No, no, Mad Dog. None of that, man.
253
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,552
No, you... You know...
254
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:49,490
Someone's gonna die.
255
00:17:51,370 --> 00:17:53,600
Now, wait a minute. Now, hold on.
256
00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:55,740
Hold up. Hold up.
Now, wait a minute.
257
00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:01,503
This black-on-black crime makes me sick.
258
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:10,387
Now, if this is what we gotta do,
just give me a damn minute with my cousin.
259
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,788
Um...
260
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:19,193
We're about to die.
261
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:25,728
All right, but the best defense
is a strong offense, okay?
262
00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:28,338
So remember me for this.
263
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:31,500
I'll see you on the other side.
264
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:40,709
Sorry.
265
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:47,887
Oh, my God. I just saw
the state of Florida just pass over my head.
266
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:50,790
Hey, hey. Hey, Mad Dog. Mad Dog.
267
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,555
Bro, bro, you know... Come on, man.
268
00:18:52,731 --> 00:18:55,427
Shouldn't you be climbing up
the Empire State Building?
269
00:18:55,601 --> 00:18:57,330
- Will, the window.
- Go, go.
270
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:16,617
Bet you wish you wouldn't have gone off
that Slim Fast now, don't you?
271
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:18,721
You're lucky.
272
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:22,622
But eventually,
you're gonna have to come back in here.
273
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:26,389
Shut up and get back in there,
you're stretching the building.
274
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:32,633
Will, what are we gonna do now?
275
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:38,235
Oh. Well, you know, it's almost winter.
Eventually, he's gonna have to hibernate.
276
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:42,141
All we got to do, just hang out up here,
don't bring no attention to ourselves.
277
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,373
Hey, look, those guys are gonna jump.
278
00:19:45,584 --> 00:19:49,315
No, no, man.
We're just out getting some air, man.
279
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,694
This is the worst night of my life.
280
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:00,789
Ain't that what I promised you?
281
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:06,534
Don't panic.
I'm from the Crisis Intervention Unit.
282
00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:09,837
You're young.
283
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:13,574
You're young.
284
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:21,211
"And you have everything to live for."
285
00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,283
Just get us down.
286
00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:27,789
There you go,
putting the cart before the horse.
287
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:31,626
Now, hand me the baby.
288
00:20:33,298 --> 00:20:35,858
Man, what are you doing?
We ain't got no baby, man.
289
00:20:36,301 --> 00:20:38,428
Oh, my bad.
290
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,574
Will you get the hell
out of our way, fool?
291
00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:45,005
Hey, there's no need to be calling names.
292
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:50,706
Sticks and stones will break your bones
but a 50-foot fall will kill y'all.
293
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,380
I made that up myself.
294
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:59,651
That civil service exam is really easy,
isn't it?
295
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:05,686
But I have to admit...
296
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:08,424
...there are times
that I just don't understand women.
297
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,967
And it doesn't get any easier
when you get older.
298
00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:14,128
This is the one right here. Check this out.
299
00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:18,739
"I shouldn't have to tell you.
I mean, you should just know."
300
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,502
How am I supposed to know?
Who do I look like, Dionne Warwick?
301
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,272
No, no, no. This is my favorite.
302
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:27,748
"If you love me as much as you say you do,
you'd know what I'm feeling."
303
00:21:27,919 --> 00:21:30,012
How am I supposed to know
what you're feeling?
304
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:31,746
What does that mean?
305
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:34,221
What are you guys talking about
that's so funny?
306
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:35,553
Sports.
307
00:21:35,727 --> 00:21:37,524
- Football.
- Sports.
308
00:21:37,696 --> 00:21:41,564
Funny. I'm off to the hairdresser
to talk sports myself.
309
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,633
Hey, this is the one right here.
This is the one.
310
00:21:46,805 --> 00:21:49,535
"If you was listening to me,
what'd I just say?"
311
00:21:49,708 --> 00:21:53,007
- They always say that.
- I wasn't listening, you know?
312
00:21:53,178 --> 00:21:54,873
Yo, yo, yo, how about this one?
313
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:58,881
"Slow down, you're moving too fast.
We hardly even know each other."
314
00:21:59,584 --> 00:22:01,950
And then she has the nerve to get upset.
24076
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.