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Fairy tales always skip on the
practicalities of happily ever after.
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00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,820
For example, do they ever include a
forensic look through one's finances?
3
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,600
No. Why?
4
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:11,220
Because it's pluck.
5
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,099
That's why.
6
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You guys got married fast.
7
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Yeah, what can I say? True love. Now, I
have a job, he has a job, and we have
8
00:00:17,820 --> 00:00:20,400
$40,000 in cash. We can't take cash.
9
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It's 20-25.
10
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I'm sorry.
11
00:00:22,970 --> 00:00:25,490
We have a literal government document
saying that we're committed to each
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other. He owns his own business. We have
a deposit. We have ticked all the boxes.
13
00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:31,190
Show me a fancy spreadsheet, honey.
14
00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:35,690
Well, based on current mortgage rates
and our deposit, could we afford this
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house in Sandringham? The auction's
tomorrow.
16
00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:38,770
Yeah, we still can't deposit it.
17
00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:42,370
It's over $10,000. The tax department's
going to flag it. Well, that's fine.
18
00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:45,390
We'll just do it in small amounts with
different accounts. We'll spread it
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00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:46,390
around so they can't track it.
20
00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:47,850
So that's money laundering.
21
00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:49,890
Where did the cash come from?
22
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,250
It was a gift from my parents, so it's
legit.
23
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:56,120
Warren looks like he's working, but he's
actually emailing the tax department.
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00:00:56,340 --> 00:01:00,020
For a place in that area, we are looking
at a 20% deposit on $2 million.
25
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,640
We could stretch the deposit for 10%.
Hank's not going to go for that, sorry.
26
00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:06,020
What the actual fuck, Warren?
27
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,800
It's Darren. What do you want from us?
Like blood samples, a kidney?
28
00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:09,798
Calm down.
29
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:10,800
Take a breath.
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00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,640
Let's all just reset.
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Last month... I came here and you said I
needed a partner. Now I'm back, married,
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with two incomes, and you're saying I
still can't get on the ladder?
33
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:22,910
She's not wrong, Warren. Stella, if you
hadn't forfeited your stake in the house
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00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:25,370
that you were co-owned with your
ex-wife, we could have used that as
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00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:29,970
leverage. So maybe we could do a
business loan. Would your business
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00:01:29,970 --> 00:01:30,970
partner be open to that?
37
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:35,410
Fussy? No, Rushdie will kill him. Wait,
you gave Renee the house? That's why
38
00:01:35,410 --> 00:01:35,949
you're renting?
39
00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:37,870
Yeah, it was the right thing to do for
Sheena.
40
00:01:38,510 --> 00:01:40,870
You can't even be mad. That's such a
nice thing to do.
41
00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:44,080
Okay, so maybe we get to know each other
a little better.
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00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:48,140
Go away, take some time, come back. We
start a term deposit with some of that.
43
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,560
You know what? You can term deposit
this, Wes.
44
00:01:50,180 --> 00:01:54,160
She doesn't mean that. I do mean that. I
do mean that. And thanks for nothing,
45
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,740
Beelzebub. We will be back, yeah? We're
going to be back. I'm going to buy a
46
00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:58,820
house whether you like it or not.
47
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:03,480
Cool? See ya. She knows you literally
can't buy a house without me liking it.
48
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:04,560
Yeah, no, yeah.
49
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,340
Play the reporters to the IID.
50
00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:13,130
I want to settle down.
51
00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:16,530
Won't you settle down with me?
52
00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:20,250
Settle down. I can't believe you gave
Renee the house.
53
00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:24,430
She left you for a guy that lost to
Liberty Treasure Island. Honestly.
54
00:02:24,670 --> 00:02:25,469
Matt is fine.
55
00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:28,690
Matt is the worst. He's the kind of
generically handsome white guy that acts
56
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,690
nice but is actually shady as fuck. He's
sure cheating on you. Okay, not
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00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:34,850
everybody cheats on other people. You
know that, right? Your worldview is
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00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:35,850
actually depressing sometimes.
59
00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:37,050
You're a nice person.
60
00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:38,810
You don't cheat. You're a gentleman.
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00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:42,530
You don't have one-night stands. You
probably call women the next day. Jesus.
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00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:45,510
I actually don't understand what's
happening right now. The world is built
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00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:47,070
for Dannys and Matt.
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00:02:47,390 --> 00:02:49,610
Handsome white men that fuck around and
still get promoted.
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00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,720
I'd rather be a nice guy and rent my
whole life.
66
00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:57,020
What?
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00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,980
You're just so respectful.
68
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,480
I don't understand why that's a bad
thing.
69
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:08,120
I'm just saying, I think you put other
people's feelings first. I think you put
70
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,120
Renee's feelings first.
71
00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:11,600
That's untrue. Okay, since Renee, how
many women have you slept with?
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Like three or four.
73
00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,520
Three or four human women?
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00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:19,640
Sal, you've been divorced for five
years.
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00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,520
Okay, let's stop talking about this,
okay? And you need to stop taking your
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00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,760
bank rage out on me. That's why we're
here throwing a ball around.
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00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:28,180
Okay.
78
00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:30,740
We need to talk about this. I'm serious.
79
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,240
As your wife, I feel like you need to
get laid. We need to get you laid by a
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00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:35,019
stranger pronto.
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00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:37,060
I don't need to get laid. I have heaps
of sex.
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00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,640
I just need you to have a bit more game.
No, because the thing is, I don't need
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00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:41,640
validation from strangers.
84
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,880
All validation is great validation,
trust me. I'm going to help you, okay?
85
00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:48,520
I'm a great wingman. I'm going to get
you out there. Let me help you. Can you
86
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,220
get the ball, please? You need to let it
go. It's gone.
87
00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:53,280
I just feel like we need to jazz up this
Luke. What's wrong with my Luke?
88
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,420
It's just a little bit, like, basic.
89
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,100
Like, did Renee buy the shirt? Because
it's giving Nick Lachey circa 2005.
90
00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:00,460
I don't know who that is.
91
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,040
I'm going to go get the ball, and we're
not going to talk about this anymore.
92
00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:05,200
Okay, he's married to Jessica Simpson.
93
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,520
98 degrees.
94
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:07,800
Loves a pinstripe shirt.
95
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:11,060
Are you guys done yet? Oh, no, we're
still playing. But you suck shit.
96
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:12,340
Your mum sucks shit.
97
00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:17,740
Harry is now focused on getting her new
husband in bed with another woman.
98
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:21,700
And just don't tell them I said ethnic,
because then we'll get sued, OK? Thank
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00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:22,599
you.
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00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:27,380
Because making decisions for someone
else means you don't have to think about
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00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,800
your own terrible life choices.
102
00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:47,600
There you go, but I love watching you
leave. I'm going to HR.
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00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,080
I am HR.
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00:04:51,260 --> 00:04:52,260
I am HR.
105
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:58,720
And now, Sal can't seem to stop seeing
pictures of strange women's cleavage.
106
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:00,720
Don't make me ask.
107
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:05,420
Harry wants me to have a one-night
stand, so she's sending me a bunch of
108
00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:06,420
Tinder profiles.
109
00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:07,660
Huh?
110
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:08,960
What do you mean, huh?
111
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,040
I mean, you can't do that.
112
00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:12,370
I can do it.
113
00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:15,210
You're a sensitive guy. You're going to
catch feelings. Catch feelings?
114
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:18,390
You've been married since you were 21 to
your first kid.
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00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:21,370
All right, that's my queen. Don't talk
shit about my queen and your cousin.
116
00:05:21,590 --> 00:05:24,810
I'm not talking shit. I'm just saying
you didn't have a bunch of random sex
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00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,990
with a bunch of random strangers, okay?
And you're fine.
118
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:30,430
Yeah, and also I didn't fake a second
marriage because I couldn't get over my
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00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,530
ex. You're lost, brother.
120
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:36,550
Yo, how would you describe my style?
121
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:38,570
2005 Nick Lachey.
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00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:39,810
God damn it.
123
00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:42,840
Okay, where are the rest of your
clothes?
124
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,780
I feel like all I can see is a rainbow
of chinos.
125
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,500
Look, I found what I like. I wear it.
Okay?
126
00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:50,559
It's simple.
127
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,640
Okay, Steve Jobs.
128
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,340
But what do you wear to, like, go out?
129
00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:56,659
Don't say that.
130
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:57,579
What is that?
131
00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:59,760
Did Rene buy this? Yeah, why? It's fine.
132
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,680
I feel like I could beat Israel Adesanya
if he was coming off like a really,
133
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,580
really extended injury break.
134
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,320
Okay, this isn't going to work.
135
00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:15,270
Like, you're a cat. You're super fun. I
feel like your clothes do not reflect
136
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:16,270
that, and they should.
137
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:19,430
Yeah, but shouldn't someone like me for
what's on the inside?
138
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,570
Who cares what's on the inside? We
wanted to fuck your outsides, girl.
139
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,050
That's so gross.
140
00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:26,110
Yeah, I know it's not gross when I said
it. Sorry.
141
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:28,930
Okay, we need to just get rid of all of
these.
142
00:06:31,530 --> 00:06:32,529
What are you doing?
143
00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,530
I'm farting.
144
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,210
I'm being considerate.
145
00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,780
I'm taking you shopping.
146
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:50,860
There's something beautifully hopeful
about a makeover. The idea that the
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00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:54,040
right shirt can turn you into a
completely different person.
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00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:55,159
You ready?
149
00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,420
I don't want to come out.
150
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,679
Oh, come on.
151
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,400
No. I want to see. Please.
152
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:11,160
I think. I think it's a vibe. I think
you look good. I think I look like a
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00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,160
hairy lady.
154
00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:14,280
Yeah, lace really isn't for that test,
huh?
155
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,320
Can we go? I hate this. I actually hate
it. No, no, no. It's just one look,
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00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:19,160
please. There's heaps, there's heaps
more we can try.
157
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:20,640
Please? Just these ones.
158
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,800
And then we're out. Okay, fine. But only
if you do it too. Deal.
159
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,700
Like a thousand percent deal. Oh, damn
it. I thought you'd say no.
160
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:27,920
No.
161
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,460
It's like an old lady cushion.
162
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:34,980
Hey, yo, what up? It's me and my pale
swordy. Yeah, I just want to get nasty.
163
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:37,240
I think it's good.
164
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,400
You like it? Yeah.
165
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,200
It's kind of cultural appropriation.
166
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:41,160
Or
167
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:53,940
maybe
168
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:57,320
you learn that just hanging out with
your new husband can be the most fun
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00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,320
part of your day.
170
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:01,720
I actually kind of like this.
171
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,440
Close.
172
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,980
This is good. This I like. I like it.
It's a vibe.
173
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:16,040
Huh. You're good at this. Yeah. One of
my many completely youthful talents.
174
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:18,460
Megan's gonna jizz.
175
00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:19,559
Who's Megan?
176
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,140
Megan is your date.
177
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:22,740
Come on. Check her out.
178
00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:26,140
Why do you have access to my dating
profile?
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00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,220
I have access to all of your passwords
now, husband.
180
00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:29,820
She's V.E. Kane.
181
00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:32,280
I said you were DTF, which means down to
fuck.
182
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,520
I know what DTF stands for.
183
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:34,760
Really? Mm-hmm. Huh.
184
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:36,020
Had to look it up.
185
00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,080
Okay. Have a look at that.
186
00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:40,220
I'm just going to put this all on Mum's
credit card.
187
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,080
Mum!
188
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,500
What are you doing?
189
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,120
Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?
190
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:56,840
Ruby's sex when working from Mum's.
191
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,760
God, Cam couldn't take the day off,
could he? He can't just wag work.
192
00:09:01,130 --> 00:09:04,090
He manages a building site. His job is
actually important.
193
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:07,070
Oh, okay. Well, if COVID taught us
anything, it's that the most important
194
00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:10,790
jobs are supermarket workers and hotel
security guards. So... Right. Why are
195
00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:11,769
you raiding Mum's fridge?
196
00:09:11,770 --> 00:09:15,430
Um, because Sal is going on a date
tonight and we are saving for a house
197
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,170
and I need dinner.
198
00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:18,630
You want me to make you a sandwich?
199
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:19,929
Yes, please.
200
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:20,930
Yeah, come on.
201
00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,170
Can you get me a knife, please?
202
00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:23,289
Uh-huh.
203
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:24,910
Why is Sal going on a date?
204
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,610
Uh, to broaden his sexual horizons.
205
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:31,120
Yeah, I set him up with a very hot young
lady called Megan.
206
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:33,020
Why would you do that?
207
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:37,480
Well, because as a wife, I want to make
sure that my husband is getting laid by
208
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,840
someone else. Carrie, be serious.
209
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,060
I am, okay? I'm helping him get over
Renee.
210
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,700
It's actually a very nice thing to do.
I'm like his fairy godwife.
211
00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:45,000
Marriage is really fucked up.
212
00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:45,919
Oh, okay.
213
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,580
Pot calling the kettle. No, no, don't
say black.
214
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:51,500
I can say black. I'm standing by. No,
just because you married a man of color
215
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:55,440
doesn't mean you have a free pass to say
it whenever you like. You can't censor
216
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,279
me.
217
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,380
Listen, it's not a big deal.
218
00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:02,270
I took him shopping, gave him a little
makeover, and honestly, Vanessa, he
219
00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,270
looks really good.
220
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,550
Okay. Harriet Jane Brewer.
221
00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:09,750
Don't do that. We're friends. Yeah?
Yeah. We've always been friends, just...
222
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:12,910
You haven't always been friends. You
really liked each other, but you're too
223
00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:16,390
scared to do anything about it. Not
true. We have proof that you can marry
224
00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:19,370
your friend and then get him to sleep
with other people in a totally healthy,
225
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,350
slightly polyamorous situation.
226
00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:22,850
Oh, right.
227
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:48,720
The idea of an open marriage is very hot
right now, but honestly, the admin
228
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,720
sounds exhausting.
229
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,620
Okay, I'm just gonna wait till she
arrives and then I'll leave.
230
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:55,420
Cool. What are you going to do tonight?
I just realized I'm leaving you by
231
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:59,140
yourself. You are not great on your own.
No, I have a plan, okay? I'm going to
232
00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:01,460
watch Love Island until I feel
uncomfortable, drink a bottle of wine,
233
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,640
and then take melatonin until I'm
drowsy. Are you sure you're going to be
234
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,320
okay? Val, I'll be fine.
235
00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,080
Did you not hear my foolproof plan?
236
00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:10,820
I know it sounds bad, but I'm actually
really excited about it. Let's just go
237
00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:11,820
home and watch the chase.
238
00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:14,460
No, you cannot stand this poor woman up.
She'll be minutes away.
239
00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:17,000
Listen, you look great.
240
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:18,840
Don't overthink it.
241
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,260
You're going to have a fun time. Trust
me. Come on.
242
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:28,910
I genuinely don't think she's coming.
No, honestly, she's only 36 minutes
243
00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:30,970
late. Maybe she's been in a terrible
accident.
244
00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:34,950
Maybe she's dragging her bleeding stumps
to the bar. We should go home. Let's go
245
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:38,530
home. No, no, no, no. Please, please
stay five more minutes. Just five more
246
00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:39,469
minutes for me.
247
00:11:39,470 --> 00:11:40,870
Please? For your wife?
248
00:11:41,590 --> 00:11:44,310
Fine, but I am hitting a timer.
249
00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:45,830
Okay.
250
00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:48,070
Okay.
251
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:50,910
Well, how about we do something fun so
that you're, like, primed and ready for
252
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,550
when she walks in? What kind of fun?
253
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,060
I have backgammon on my phone.
254
00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:58,960
No, not backgammon. What's wrong with
backgammon? You 80-year-old Egyptian
255
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,200
man. I meant like a role play.
256
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,600
Like, show me your moves.
257
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:03,619
My moves?
258
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:08,120
Yeah, like, how would you pick me up if
I was a stranger and we were in this
259
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,120
bar?
260
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,280
This is dumb.
261
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,280
It's not dumb. It's a warm-up, okay?
262
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,039
Oh, no.
263
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,940
Do you have no moves? I have moves.
264
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,500
I have moves. I have heaps of moves. I
have so many moves.
265
00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:22,510
You do your moves first, and then I'll
do my moves.
266
00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:24,010
I mean...
267
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:30,130
Stop.
268
00:12:37,910 --> 00:12:40,830
Want to fight?
269
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,780
That's really good. Right? That's really
good. Yeah, right?
270
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,820
It's really easy for girls. We just
basically have to do that and then it's
271
00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:56,020
like, boom, guys are up for it.
272
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:57,820
Okay, your turn. Show me your moves.
273
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,060
Oh, I know. How about this?
274
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:04,900
I will be over here reading this.
275
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,000
Hi. Can I buy you a drink?
276
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,840
Well, I suppose the seat is free. You
may sit.
277
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:29,999
Menus, huh?
278
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,000
I love menus.
279
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,240
It's so informative.
280
00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:35,340
Yes, well, it's the only way I can wind
down after my job as a neuroscientist.
281
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,320
Oh, wow, a neuroscientist.
282
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:38,960
That's cool, that's cool.
283
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,800
That explains why you're here by
yourself.
284
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,559
Excuse me?
285
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,260
Well, I mean, to be this beautiful and
that smart.
286
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:48,800
I mean, come on, it must be hard to make
friends.
287
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,640
Oh, my God, that's such a line.
288
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,460
It's not a line. It's a good line. It's
not a line because the truth. It's
289
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,000
honesty. It's truth. I can only speak
truth.
290
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:02,240
I'm like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. Oh, I
can completely relate.
291
00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:07,660
Which makes being a doctor really hard
because my patients know way too much
292
00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:10,280
about what's wrong with them. Oh, so
you're a doctor too. How impressive.
293
00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:13,740
Yeah, thank you. I also can't hide how
much I love my daughter, who's a
294
00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:16,840
teenager. Which makes me incredibly
uncool.
295
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,060
I'm sure you know a lot about that.
296
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:23,020
I guess we're just a couple of nerds.
297
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,400
Cursed with incredibly good looks.
298
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,360
Sounds like we're perfect for each
other.
299
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,880
Hey, I'd give you the burnt bit of my
brownie any day of the week.
300
00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:35,300
Wait.
301
00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,380
You remember that from Home Economics?
302
00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:38,820
Yeah, I remember that.
303
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,780
You like the corner bit and I like the
middle bit.
304
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000
The middle bit, yeah.
305
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:47,660
Sometimes you just need a break from
real life in order to see someone in a
306
00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:48,660
completely new life.
307
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:21,100
You can say this isn't a love story, but
Harry being jealous of her husband's
308
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:23,960
date is a pretty clear sign that maybe
it could be
309
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:45,440
Correct. Which singer starred in the
film Lady Things of the Moon? Lady Gaga.
310
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:46,700
Correct.
311
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,080
Oh,
312
00:15:55,300 --> 00:16:01,840
God.
313
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,620
I'm going to break my back.
314
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:09,660
I made it work.
315
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:22,150
Okay, so you're going up the mountain,
and then you keep climbing.
316
00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:25,010
Yeah, just keep going all the way to the
top, baby.
317
00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:28,970
That was weird. I didn't say baby. I
don't know why I said that. You're very
318
00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:30,290
funny. I like that.
319
00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,230
Being alone with your thoughts is hard.
320
00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:39,570
Being alone with your feelings is
harder, especially for Harry.
321
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,620
Sorry, it's Harry checking in.
322
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,080
Do you want to get out of here?
323
00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:02,380
Sorry, I find it really hot that you
guys have this open relationship
324
00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:03,540
situation. Totally.
325
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:07,400
We're like super modern and stuff. Oh my
God, so modern.
326
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,440
What did you say before?
327
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,760
Do you want to get out of here?
328
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,880
Feelings and phones don't mix.
329
00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:21,960
When it comes to love, technology has
mostly made everything worse.
330
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,339
And Sal is about to learn why.
331
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,480
Oh my god.
332
00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:32,660
This is a real fantasy of mine. Oh okay,
do you think there's some clams in here?
333
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,820
Shut up, shut up, I need you to shut up
right now.
334
00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:36,860
Oh shit.
335
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,160
Okay, don't move in this and do it
carefully.
336
00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:47,380
Try to smuggle all this good stuff out
of it. What?
337
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,440
Don't move I said.
338
00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:52,460
I wouldn't lie to Custin's when I'm
stuck around at this airport.
339
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,440
Custin, what the fuck is going on? I'm
going to ask you one more time.
340
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,500
Are you trying to bring a piece of fruit
into my country?
341
00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,500
No. Are you trying to make a fool out of
me with a banana? I don't have fruit. I
342
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,720
don't have fruit. Because that would be
very silly. I don't have a banana.
343
00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:08,440
Very big, big, naughty bitch. No, no,
no. I don't have any. I'm trying to
344
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,080
smuggle into Aotearoa. Okay, then.
You're forgiven. Thank you, National
345
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,740
Anthem. The internet has definitely
created intense division.
346
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,380
But on the flip side, it's also made
some pretty specific...
347
00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:27,180
Absence makes the heart
348
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:28,180
grow fonder.
349
00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:31,560
In this case, Sal's absence makes
Harry's heart quite anxious.
350
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:44,440
So now her heart is going to make a
pretty bad decision.
351
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:55,760
I can't, metal detector.
352
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:56,900
Okay, can we stop?
353
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,080
No, no, no.
354
00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:00,600
You are not getting on that airplane.
355
00:19:01,060 --> 00:19:03,200
I'm in the role play. Can we stop the
role play? Oh.
356
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,720
Oh, my God, yeah, of course we can.
Sorry, yeah.
357
00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:09,920
Um, was I getting a bit too... It's just
a little too 9-11 for me, and airports
358
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,860
are triggering. Oh, yeah, because of the
whole... Yeah, because of... Yeah, no, I
359
00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,120
was totally sorry about that.
360
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,160
It's all good.
361
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,240
Do you want me to go down on you?
362
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,560
Nah, it's all good.
363
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,080
Yeah, thank you, though.
364
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:35,860
I knew you'd call.
365
00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:36,679
Shut up.
366
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,780
What? I knew you'd miss me.
367
00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:41,280
We can't be apart. We're like Han and
Chewbacca.
368
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:45,580
Okay, shut up, Danny. I know you're not
going to leave your wife, okay? So don't
369
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:48,720
do that. I would. You know, I will if
I... Okay, stop.
370
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,100
Go.
371
00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:01,310
Oh, honey, I forgot to say earlier.
372
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:04,690
I told Sarah that I was going to the
dairy, so I've probably got about 30-ish
373
00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:06,230
minutes or so. OK. OK.
374
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:10,630
All
375
00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:19,910
ready?
376
00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:21,350
No, stop.
377
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:22,570
Danny, don't. Let's go.
378
00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:25,650
No, Danny, I don't think this is a good
idea, OK? I think you should go home,
379
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:28,090
OK? What? What the fuck?
380
00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:31,470
I just... I'm so sorry. I just... I want
to be alone, okay? I should have called.
381
00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:35,350
No, you don't, Harry. You're the worst
at being alone. I don't want you here
382
00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:36,910
anymore, okay? You should go.
383
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:38,250
Home. Now.
384
00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:42,070
Hey.
385
00:20:42,230 --> 00:20:43,390
Hey. Hey.
386
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:44,770
Don't say that.
387
00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:46,090
Listen.
388
00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:49,050
We were made for each other, Harry.
389
00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:50,890
You know it's true.
390
00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:53,670
We have what other people want.
391
00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:54,859
No, Danny.
392
00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,720
You have what other people want, okay?
393
00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:00,740
Yeah. I don't want to be the thing that
you fuck before you go home and spoon
394
00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:03,460
your beautiful wife, okay? I don't want
to be that person anymore.
395
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,200
Newsflash, you are that person, Harry.
396
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,820
Getting married doesn't make you a
better person than me, okay?
397
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,660
At least my marriage is real.
398
00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:14,260
Yeah, I figured it out, all right, okay?
399
00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:16,380
I get it.
400
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:21,060
You were trying to make a point. Okay,
point made. But let's face it, Harry.
401
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,640
You were never marriage material.
402
00:21:24,890 --> 00:21:25,930
You're... fun.
403
00:21:26,970 --> 00:21:31,370
Get out, Danny. What? I'm being nice.
Get the fuck out! Get out! Okay, okay.
404
00:21:32,010 --> 00:21:33,350
Nice thing to say.
405
00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:36,090
Can't even be nice anymore these days.
406
00:21:43,290 --> 00:21:49,970
You can choose to do
407
00:21:49,970 --> 00:21:51,330
marriage any way you want.
408
00:21:52,410 --> 00:21:58,900
But communication... is key if you can
be honest with each other
409
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:01,460
your union can pass any test
410
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,359
Oh, hey.
411
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:32,360
How was your night?
412
00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:35,440
Yeah, it was, um, it was a handful.
413
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:37,340
Yeah, looks it.
414
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,840
It was good. It was good. And did you...
Oh, yeah.
415
00:22:41,180 --> 00:22:41,879
Mm-hmm.
416
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,440
Did some good old-fashioned intercourse.
417
00:22:45,660 --> 00:22:46,980
That's, that's great.
418
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,920
That now makes five human women.
419
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,200
Mm-hmm.
420
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,520
How was your night? Anything, um,
interesting happen?
421
00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:56,900
No, it was pretty quiet.
422
00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:59,600
Um, I still can't get any answers right
on the chase.
423
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:01,900
You and me both, girl? Yeah.
424
00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:07,340
You all good?
425
00:23:07,580 --> 00:23:08,580
Me? Yeah.
426
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,120
Are you all good?
427
00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:11,959
Mm-hmm.
428
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,140
Yeah. Totally.
429
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,480
Great.
430
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,720
I'm gonna get some sleep.
431
00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:21,580
Yeah. That's great.
432
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,120
Night. Goodnight.
433
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:24,420
Night.
434
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:37,740
Secrets can destroy a marriage much like
feelings can destroy a friendship.
435
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:42,980
Either way, once they're out there,
there's no going back.
33156
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