1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:04,240 Fairy tales always skip on the practicalities of happily ever after. 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,820 For example, do they ever include a forensic look through one's finances? 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,600 No. Why? 4 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:11,220 Because it's pluck. 5 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,099 That's why. 6 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,360 You guys got married fast. 7 00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:17,820 Yeah, what can I say? True love. Now, I have a job, he has a job, and we have 8 00:00:17,820 --> 00:00:20,400 $40,000 in cash. We can't take cash. 9 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:21,640 It's 20-25. 10 00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:22,740 I'm sorry. 11 00:00:22,970 --> 00:00:25,490 We have a literal government document saying that we're committed to each 12 00:00:25,490 --> 00:00:28,990 other. He owns his own business. We have a deposit. We have ticked all the boxes. 13 00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:31,190 Show me a fancy spreadsheet, honey. 14 00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:35,690 Well, based on current mortgage rates and our deposit, could we afford this 15 00:00:35,690 --> 00:00:37,230 house in Sandringham? The auction's tomorrow. 16 00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:38,770 Yeah, we still can't deposit it. 17 00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:42,370 It's over $10,000. The tax department's going to flag it. Well, that's fine. 18 00:00:42,490 --> 00:00:45,390 We'll just do it in small amounts with different accounts. We'll spread it 19 00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:46,390 around so they can't track it. 20 00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:47,850 So that's money laundering. 21 00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:49,890 Where did the cash come from? 22 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,250 It was a gift from my parents, so it's legit. 23 00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:56,120 Warren looks like he's working, but he's actually emailing the tax department. 24 00:00:56,340 --> 00:01:00,020 For a place in that area, we are looking at a 20% deposit on $2 million. 25 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:03,640 We could stretch the deposit for 10%. Hank's not going to go for that, sorry. 26 00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:06,020 What the actual fuck, Warren? 27 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,800 It's Darren. What do you want from us? Like blood samples, a kidney? 28 00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:09,798 Calm down. 29 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:10,800 Take a breath. 30 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:12,640 Let's all just reset. 31 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:17,150 Last month... I came here and you said I needed a partner. Now I'm back, married, 32 00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:19,550 with two incomes, and you're saying I still can't get on the ladder? 33 00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:22,910 She's not wrong, Warren. Stella, if you hadn't forfeited your stake in the house 34 00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:25,370 that you were co-owned with your ex-wife, we could have used that as 35 00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:29,970 leverage. So maybe we could do a business loan. Would your business 36 00:01:29,970 --> 00:01:30,970 partner be open to that? 37 00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:35,410 Fussy? No, Rushdie will kill him. Wait, you gave Renee the house? That's why 38 00:01:35,410 --> 00:01:35,949 you're renting? 39 00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:37,870 Yeah, it was the right thing to do for Sheena. 40 00:01:38,510 --> 00:01:40,870 You can't even be mad. That's such a nice thing to do. 41 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:44,080 Okay, so maybe we get to know each other a little better. 42 00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:48,140 Go away, take some time, come back. We start a term deposit with some of that. 43 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,560 You know what? You can term deposit this, Wes. 44 00:01:50,180 --> 00:01:54,160 She doesn't mean that. I do mean that. I do mean that. And thanks for nothing, 45 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,740 Beelzebub. We will be back, yeah? We're going to be back. I'm going to buy a 46 00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:58,820 house whether you like it or not. 47 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:03,480 Cool? See ya. She knows you literally can't buy a house without me liking it. 48 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:04,560 Yeah, no, yeah. 49 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,340 Play the reporters to the IID. 50 00:02:11,210 --> 00:02:13,130 I want to settle down. 51 00:02:14,010 --> 00:02:16,530 Won't you settle down with me? 52 00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:20,250 Settle down. I can't believe you gave Renee the house. 53 00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:24,430 She left you for a guy that lost to Liberty Treasure Island. Honestly. 54 00:02:24,670 --> 00:02:25,469 Matt is fine. 55 00:02:25,470 --> 00:02:28,690 Matt is the worst. He's the kind of generically handsome white guy that acts 56 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,690 nice but is actually shady as fuck. He's sure cheating on you. Okay, not 57 00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:34,850 everybody cheats on other people. You know that, right? Your worldview is 58 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:35,850 actually depressing sometimes. 59 00:02:36,050 --> 00:02:37,050 You're a nice person. 60 00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:38,810 You don't cheat. You're a gentleman. 61 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:42,530 You don't have one-night stands. You probably call women the next day. Jesus. 62 00:02:42,650 --> 00:02:45,510 I actually don't understand what's happening right now. The world is built 63 00:02:45,510 --> 00:02:47,070 for Dannys and Matt. 64 00:02:47,390 --> 00:02:49,610 Handsome white men that fuck around and still get promoted. 65 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,720 I'd rather be a nice guy and rent my whole life. 66 00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:57,020 What? 67 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,980 You're just so respectful. 68 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,480 I don't understand why that's a bad thing. 69 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:08,120 I'm just saying, I think you put other people's feelings first. I think you put 70 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,120 Renee's feelings first. 71 00:03:09,180 --> 00:03:11,600 That's untrue. Okay, since Renee, how many women have you slept with? 72 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:12,900 Like three or four. 73 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,520 Three or four human women? 74 00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:19,640 Sal, you've been divorced for five years. 75 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:23,520 Okay, let's stop talking about this, okay? And you need to stop taking your 76 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,760 bank rage out on me. That's why we're here throwing a ball around. 77 00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:28,180 Okay. 78 00:03:28,420 --> 00:03:30,740 We need to talk about this. I'm serious. 79 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,240 As your wife, I feel like you need to get laid. We need to get you laid by a 80 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:35,019 stranger pronto. 81 00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:37,060 I don't need to get laid. I have heaps of sex. 82 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,640 I just need you to have a bit more game. No, because the thing is, I don't need 83 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:41,640 validation from strangers. 84 00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:44,880 All validation is great validation, trust me. I'm going to help you, okay? 85 00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:48,520 I'm a great wingman. I'm going to get you out there. Let me help you. Can you 86 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,220 get the ball, please? You need to let it go. It's gone. 87 00:03:50,500 --> 00:03:53,280 I just feel like we need to jazz up this Luke. What's wrong with my Luke? 88 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,420 It's just a little bit, like, basic. 89 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:59,100 Like, did Renee buy the shirt? Because it's giving Nick Lachey circa 2005. 90 00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:00,460 I don't know who that is. 91 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:04,040 I'm going to go get the ball, and we're not going to talk about this anymore. 92 00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:05,200 Okay, he's married to Jessica Simpson. 93 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,520 98 degrees. 94 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:07,800 Loves a pinstripe shirt. 95 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:11,060 Are you guys done yet? Oh, no, we're still playing. But you suck shit. 96 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:12,340 Your mum sucks shit. 97 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:17,740 Harry is now focused on getting her new husband in bed with another woman. 98 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:21,700 And just don't tell them I said ethnic, because then we'll get sued, OK? Thank 99 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:22,599 you. 100 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:27,380 Because making decisions for someone else means you don't have to think about 101 00:04:27,380 --> 00:04:28,800 your own terrible life choices. 102 00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:47,600 There you go, but I love watching you leave. I'm going to HR. 103 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,080 I am HR. 104 00:04:51,260 --> 00:04:52,260 I am HR. 105 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:58,720 And now, Sal can't seem to stop seeing pictures of strange women's cleavage. 106 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:00,720 Don't make me ask. 107 00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:05,420 Harry wants me to have a one-night stand, so she's sending me a bunch of 108 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:06,420 Tinder profiles. 109 00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:07,660 Huh? 110 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:08,960 What do you mean, huh? 111 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,040 I mean, you can't do that. 112 00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:12,370 I can do it. 113 00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:15,210 You're a sensitive guy. You're going to catch feelings. Catch feelings? 114 00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:18,390 You've been married since you were 21 to your first kid. 115 00:05:18,630 --> 00:05:21,370 All right, that's my queen. Don't talk shit about my queen and your cousin. 116 00:05:21,590 --> 00:05:24,810 I'm not talking shit. I'm just saying you didn't have a bunch of random sex 117 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,990 with a bunch of random strangers, okay? And you're fine. 118 00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:30,430 Yeah, and also I didn't fake a second marriage because I couldn't get over my 119 00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:31,530 ex. You're lost, brother. 120 00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:36,550 Yo, how would you describe my style? 121 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:38,570 2005 Nick Lachey. 122 00:05:38,810 --> 00:05:39,810 God damn it. 123 00:05:41,260 --> 00:05:42,840 Okay, where are the rest of your clothes? 124 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,780 I feel like all I can see is a rainbow of chinos. 125 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,500 Look, I found what I like. I wear it. Okay? 126 00:05:49,780 --> 00:05:50,559 It's simple. 127 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,640 Okay, Steve Jobs. 128 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,340 But what do you wear to, like, go out? 129 00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:56,659 Don't say that. 130 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:57,579 What is that? 131 00:05:57,580 --> 00:05:59,760 Did Rene buy this? Yeah, why? It's fine. 132 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:04,680 I feel like I could beat Israel Adesanya if he was coming off like a really, 133 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,580 really extended injury break. 134 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,320 Okay, this isn't going to work. 135 00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:15,270 Like, you're a cat. You're super fun. I feel like your clothes do not reflect 136 00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:16,270 that, and they should. 137 00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:19,430 Yeah, but shouldn't someone like me for what's on the inside? 138 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,570 Who cares what's on the inside? We wanted to fuck your outsides, girl. 139 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,050 That's so gross. 140 00:06:24,230 --> 00:06:26,110 Yeah, I know it's not gross when I said it. Sorry. 141 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:28,930 Okay, we need to just get rid of all of these. 142 00:06:31,530 --> 00:06:32,529 What are you doing? 143 00:06:32,530 --> 00:06:33,530 I'm farting. 144 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,210 I'm being considerate. 145 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,780 I'm taking you shopping. 146 00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:50,860 There's something beautifully hopeful about a makeover. The idea that the 147 00:06:50,860 --> 00:06:54,040 right shirt can turn you into a completely different person. 148 00:06:54,340 --> 00:06:55,159 You ready? 149 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,420 I don't want to come out. 150 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:57,679 Oh, come on. 151 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,400 No. I want to see. Please. 152 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:11,160 I think. I think it's a vibe. I think you look good. I think I look like a 153 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,160 hairy lady. 154 00:07:12,620 --> 00:07:14,280 Yeah, lace really isn't for that test, huh? 155 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,320 Can we go? I hate this. I actually hate it. No, no, no. It's just one look, 156 00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:19,160 please. There's heaps, there's heaps more we can try. 157 00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:20,640 Please? Just these ones. 158 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,800 And then we're out. Okay, fine. But only if you do it too. Deal. 159 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,700 Like a thousand percent deal. Oh, damn it. I thought you'd say no. 160 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:27,920 No. 161 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,460 It's like an old lady cushion. 162 00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:34,980 Hey, yo, what up? It's me and my pale swordy. Yeah, I just want to get nasty. 163 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:37,240 I think it's good. 164 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,400 You like it? Yeah. 165 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,200 It's kind of cultural appropriation. 166 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:41,160 Or 167 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:53,940 maybe 168 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:57,320 you learn that just hanging out with your new husband can be the most fun 169 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,320 part of your day. 170 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:01,720 I actually kind of like this. 171 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,440 Close. 172 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,980 This is good. This I like. I like it. It's a vibe. 173 00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:16,040 Huh. You're good at this. Yeah. One of my many completely youthful talents. 174 00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:18,460 Megan's gonna jizz. 175 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:19,559 Who's Megan? 176 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,140 Megan is your date. 177 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:22,740 Come on. Check her out. 178 00:08:24,660 --> 00:08:26,140 Why do you have access to my dating profile? 179 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,220 I have access to all of your passwords now, husband. 180 00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:29,820 She's V.E. Kane. 181 00:08:29,940 --> 00:08:32,280 I said you were DTF, which means down to fuck. 182 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,520 I know what DTF stands for. 183 00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:34,760 Really? Mm-hmm. Huh. 184 00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:36,020 Had to look it up. 185 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:38,080 Okay. Have a look at that. 186 00:08:38,780 --> 00:08:40,220 I'm just going to put this all on Mum's credit card. 187 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,080 Mum! 188 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,500 What are you doing? 189 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,120 Jesus Christ, what are you doing here? 190 00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:56,840 Ruby's sex when working from Mum's. 191 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,760 God, Cam couldn't take the day off, could he? He can't just wag work. 192 00:09:01,130 --> 00:09:04,090 He manages a building site. His job is actually important. 193 00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:07,070 Oh, okay. Well, if COVID taught us anything, it's that the most important 194 00:09:07,070 --> 00:09:10,790 jobs are supermarket workers and hotel security guards. So... Right. Why are 195 00:09:10,790 --> 00:09:11,769 you raiding Mum's fridge? 196 00:09:11,770 --> 00:09:15,430 Um, because Sal is going on a date tonight and we are saving for a house 197 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,170 and I need dinner. 198 00:09:17,430 --> 00:09:18,630 You want me to make you a sandwich? 199 00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:19,929 Yes, please. 200 00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:20,930 Yeah, come on. 201 00:09:21,110 --> 00:09:22,170 Can you get me a knife, please? 202 00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:23,289 Uh-huh. 203 00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:24,910 Why is Sal going on a date? 204 00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:27,610 Uh, to broaden his sexual horizons. 205 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:31,120 Yeah, I set him up with a very hot young lady called Megan. 206 00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:33,020 Why would you do that? 207 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:37,480 Well, because as a wife, I want to make sure that my husband is getting laid by 208 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,840 someone else. Carrie, be serious. 209 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,060 I am, okay? I'm helping him get over Renee. 210 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,700 It's actually a very nice thing to do. I'm like his fairy godwife. 211 00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:45,000 Marriage is really fucked up. 212 00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:45,919 Oh, okay. 213 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:47,580 Pot calling the kettle. No, no, don't say black. 214 00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:51,500 I can say black. I'm standing by. No, just because you married a man of color 215 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:55,440 doesn't mean you have a free pass to say it whenever you like. You can't censor 216 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,279 me. 217 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,380 Listen, it's not a big deal. 218 00:09:57,930 --> 00:10:02,270 I took him shopping, gave him a little makeover, and honestly, Vanessa, he 219 00:10:02,270 --> 00:10:03,270 looks really good. 220 00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,550 Okay. Harriet Jane Brewer. 221 00:10:05,910 --> 00:10:09,750 Don't do that. We're friends. Yeah? Yeah. We've always been friends, just... 222 00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:12,910 You haven't always been friends. You really liked each other, but you're too 223 00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:16,390 scared to do anything about it. Not true. We have proof that you can marry 224 00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:19,370 your friend and then get him to sleep with other people in a totally healthy, 225 00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,350 slightly polyamorous situation. 226 00:10:21,850 --> 00:10:22,850 Oh, right. 227 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:48,720 The idea of an open marriage is very hot right now, but honestly, the admin 228 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,720 sounds exhausting. 229 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,620 Okay, I'm just gonna wait till she arrives and then I'll leave. 230 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:55,420 Cool. What are you going to do tonight? I just realized I'm leaving you by 231 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:59,140 yourself. You are not great on your own. No, I have a plan, okay? I'm going to 232 00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:01,460 watch Love Island until I feel uncomfortable, drink a bottle of wine, 233 00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,640 and then take melatonin until I'm drowsy. Are you sure you're going to be 234 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,320 okay? Val, I'll be fine. 235 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,080 Did you not hear my foolproof plan? 236 00:11:07,420 --> 00:11:10,820 I know it sounds bad, but I'm actually really excited about it. Let's just go 237 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:11,820 home and watch the chase. 238 00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:14,460 No, you cannot stand this poor woman up. She'll be minutes away. 239 00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:17,000 Listen, you look great. 240 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:18,840 Don't overthink it. 241 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:21,260 You're going to have a fun time. Trust me. Come on. 242 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:28,910 I genuinely don't think she's coming. No, honestly, she's only 36 minutes 243 00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:30,970 late. Maybe she's been in a terrible accident. 244 00:11:31,330 --> 00:11:34,950 Maybe she's dragging her bleeding stumps to the bar. We should go home. Let's go 245 00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:38,530 home. No, no, no, no. Please, please stay five more minutes. Just five more 246 00:11:38,530 --> 00:11:39,469 minutes for me. 247 00:11:39,470 --> 00:11:40,870 Please? For your wife? 248 00:11:41,590 --> 00:11:44,310 Fine, but I am hitting a timer. 249 00:11:44,830 --> 00:11:45,830 Okay. 250 00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:48,070 Okay. 251 00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:50,910 Well, how about we do something fun so that you're, like, primed and ready for 252 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,550 when she walks in? What kind of fun? 253 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,060 I have backgammon on my phone. 254 00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:58,960 No, not backgammon. What's wrong with backgammon? You 80-year-old Egyptian 255 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,200 man. I meant like a role play. 256 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,600 Like, show me your moves. 257 00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:03,619 My moves? 258 00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:08,120 Yeah, like, how would you pick me up if I was a stranger and we were in this 259 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:09,120 bar? 260 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,280 This is dumb. 261 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,280 It's not dumb. It's a warm-up, okay? 262 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,039 Oh, no. 263 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,940 Do you have no moves? I have moves. 264 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,500 I have moves. I have heaps of moves. I have so many moves. 265 00:12:20,190 --> 00:12:22,510 You do your moves first, and then I'll do my moves. 266 00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:24,010 I mean... 267 00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:30,130 Stop. 268 00:12:37,910 --> 00:12:40,830 Want to fight? 269 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,780 That's really good. Right? That's really good. Yeah, right? 270 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,820 It's really easy for girls. We just basically have to do that and then it's 271 00:12:54,820 --> 00:12:56,020 like, boom, guys are up for it. 272 00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:57,820 Okay, your turn. Show me your moves. 273 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,060 Oh, I know. How about this? 274 00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:04,900 I will be over here reading this. 275 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,000 Hi. Can I buy you a drink? 276 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,840 Well, I suppose the seat is free. You may sit. 277 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:29,999 Menus, huh? 278 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,000 I love menus. 279 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:32,240 It's so informative. 280 00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:35,340 Yes, well, it's the only way I can wind down after my job as a neuroscientist. 281 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,320 Oh, wow, a neuroscientist. 282 00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:38,960 That's cool, that's cool. 283 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,800 That explains why you're here by yourself. 284 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,559 Excuse me? 285 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,260 Well, I mean, to be this beautiful and that smart. 286 00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:48,800 I mean, come on, it must be hard to make friends. 287 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,640 Oh, my God, that's such a line. 288 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,460 It's not a line. It's a good line. It's not a line because the truth. It's 289 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,000 honesty. It's truth. I can only speak truth. 290 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:02,240 I'm like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. Oh, I can completely relate. 291 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:07,660 Which makes being a doctor really hard because my patients know way too much 292 00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:10,280 about what's wrong with them. Oh, so you're a doctor too. How impressive. 293 00:14:10,660 --> 00:14:13,740 Yeah, thank you. I also can't hide how much I love my daughter, who's a 294 00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:16,840 teenager. Which makes me incredibly uncool. 295 00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:19,060 I'm sure you know a lot about that. 296 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:23,020 I guess we're just a couple of nerds. 297 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,400 Cursed with incredibly good looks. 298 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,360 Sounds like we're perfect for each other. 299 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,880 Hey, I'd give you the burnt bit of my brownie any day of the week. 300 00:14:34,300 --> 00:14:35,300 Wait. 301 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,380 You remember that from Home Economics? 302 00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:38,820 Yeah, I remember that. 303 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,780 You like the corner bit and I like the middle bit. 304 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000 The middle bit, yeah. 305 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:47,660 Sometimes you just need a break from real life in order to see someone in a 306 00:14:47,660 --> 00:14:48,660 completely new life. 307 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:21,100 You can say this isn't a love story, but Harry being jealous of her husband's 308 00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:23,960 date is a pretty clear sign that maybe it could be 309 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:45,440 Correct. Which singer starred in the film Lady Things of the Moon? Lady Gaga. 310 00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:46,700 Correct. 311 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,080 Oh, 312 00:15:55,300 --> 00:16:01,840 God. 313 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,620 I'm going to break my back. 314 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:09,660 I made it work. 315 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:22,150 Okay, so you're going up the mountain, and then you keep climbing. 316 00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:25,010 Yeah, just keep going all the way to the top, baby. 317 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:28,970 That was weird. I didn't say baby. I don't know why I said that. You're very 318 00:16:28,970 --> 00:16:30,290 funny. I like that. 319 00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,230 Being alone with your thoughts is hard. 320 00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:39,570 Being alone with your feelings is harder, especially for Harry. 321 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,620 Sorry, it's Harry checking in. 322 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,080 Do you want to get out of here? 323 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:02,380 Sorry, I find it really hot that you guys have this open relationship 324 00:17:02,380 --> 00:17:03,540 situation. Totally. 325 00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:07,400 We're like super modern and stuff. Oh my God, so modern. 326 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,440 What did you say before? 327 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:11,760 Do you want to get out of here? 328 00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,880 Feelings and phones don't mix. 329 00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:21,960 When it comes to love, technology has mostly made everything worse. 330 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,339 And Sal is about to learn why. 331 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,480 Oh my god. 332 00:17:29,460 --> 00:17:32,660 This is a real fantasy of mine. Oh okay, do you think there's some clams in here? 333 00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,820 Shut up, shut up, I need you to shut up right now. 334 00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:36,860 Oh shit. 335 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,160 Okay, don't move in this and do it carefully. 336 00:17:44,660 --> 00:17:47,380 Try to smuggle all this good stuff out of it. What? 337 00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,440 Don't move I said. 338 00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:52,460 I wouldn't lie to Custin's when I'm stuck around at this airport. 339 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,440 Custin, what the fuck is going on? I'm going to ask you one more time. 340 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:57,500 Are you trying to bring a piece of fruit into my country? 341 00:17:57,700 --> 00:18:00,500 No. Are you trying to make a fool out of me with a banana? I don't have fruit. I 342 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,720 don't have fruit. Because that would be very silly. I don't have a banana. 343 00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:08,440 Very big, big, naughty bitch. No, no, no. I don't have any. I'm trying to 344 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,080 smuggle into Aotearoa. Okay, then. You're forgiven. Thank you, National 345 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:16,740 Anthem. The internet has definitely created intense division. 346 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,380 But on the flip side, it's also made some pretty specific... 347 00:18:20,380 --> 00:18:27,180 Absence makes the heart 348 00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:28,180 grow fonder. 349 00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:31,560 In this case, Sal's absence makes Harry's heart quite anxious. 350 00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:44,440 So now her heart is going to make a pretty bad decision. 351 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:55,760 I can't, metal detector. 352 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:56,900 Okay, can we stop? 353 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,080 No, no, no. 354 00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:00,600 You are not getting on that airplane. 355 00:19:01,060 --> 00:19:03,200 I'm in the role play. Can we stop the role play? Oh. 356 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:05,720 Oh, my God, yeah, of course we can. Sorry, yeah. 357 00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:09,920 Um, was I getting a bit too... It's just a little too 9-11 for me, and airports 358 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,860 are triggering. Oh, yeah, because of the whole... Yeah, because of... Yeah, no, I 359 00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,120 was totally sorry about that. 360 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,160 It's all good. 361 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,240 Do you want me to go down on you? 362 00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:23,560 Nah, it's all good. 363 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,080 Yeah, thank you, though. 364 00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:35,860 I knew you'd call. 365 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:36,679 Shut up. 366 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,780 What? I knew you'd miss me. 367 00:19:38,180 --> 00:19:41,280 We can't be apart. We're like Han and Chewbacca. 368 00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:45,580 Okay, shut up, Danny. I know you're not going to leave your wife, okay? So don't 369 00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:48,720 do that. I would. You know, I will if I... Okay, stop. 370 00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,100 Go. 371 00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:01,310 Oh, honey, I forgot to say earlier. 372 00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:04,690 I told Sarah that I was going to the dairy, so I've probably got about 30-ish 373 00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:06,230 minutes or so. OK. OK. 374 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:10,630 All 375 00:20:10,630 --> 00:20:19,910 ready? 376 00:20:20,350 --> 00:20:21,350 No, stop. 377 00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:22,570 Danny, don't. Let's go. 378 00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:25,650 No, Danny, I don't think this is a good idea, OK? I think you should go home, 379 00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:28,090 OK? What? What the fuck? 380 00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:31,470 I just... I'm so sorry. I just... I want to be alone, okay? I should have called. 381 00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:35,350 No, you don't, Harry. You're the worst at being alone. I don't want you here 382 00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:36,910 anymore, okay? You should go. 383 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:38,250 Home. Now. 384 00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:42,070 Hey. 385 00:20:42,230 --> 00:20:43,390 Hey. Hey. 386 00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:44,770 Don't say that. 387 00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:46,090 Listen. 388 00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:49,050 We were made for each other, Harry. 389 00:20:49,690 --> 00:20:50,890 You know it's true. 390 00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:53,670 We have what other people want. 391 00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:54,859 No, Danny. 392 00:20:54,860 --> 00:20:56,720 You have what other people want, okay? 393 00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:00,740 Yeah. I don't want to be the thing that you fuck before you go home and spoon 394 00:21:00,740 --> 00:21:03,460 your beautiful wife, okay? I don't want to be that person anymore. 395 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,200 Newsflash, you are that person, Harry. 396 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,820 Getting married doesn't make you a better person than me, okay? 397 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,660 At least my marriage is real. 398 00:21:12,340 --> 00:21:14,260 Yeah, I figured it out, all right, okay? 399 00:21:15,380 --> 00:21:16,380 I get it. 400 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:21,060 You were trying to make a point. Okay, point made. But let's face it, Harry. 401 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,640 You were never marriage material. 402 00:21:24,890 --> 00:21:25,930 You're... fun. 403 00:21:26,970 --> 00:21:31,370 Get out, Danny. What? I'm being nice. Get the fuck out! Get out! Okay, okay. 404 00:21:32,010 --> 00:21:33,350 Nice thing to say. 405 00:21:33,810 --> 00:21:36,090 Can't even be nice anymore these days. 406 00:21:43,290 --> 00:21:49,970 You can choose to do 407 00:21:49,970 --> 00:21:51,330 marriage any way you want. 408 00:21:52,410 --> 00:21:58,900 But communication... is key if you can be honest with each other 409 00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:01,460 your union can pass any test 410 00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:31,359 Oh, hey. 411 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:32,360 How was your night? 412 00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:35,440 Yeah, it was, um, it was a handful. 413 00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:37,340 Yeah, looks it. 414 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,840 It was good. It was good. And did you... Oh, yeah. 415 00:22:41,180 --> 00:22:41,879 Mm-hmm. 416 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,440 Did some good old-fashioned intercourse. 417 00:22:45,660 --> 00:22:46,980 That's, that's great. 418 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,920 That now makes five human women. 419 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,200 Mm-hmm. 420 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,520 How was your night? Anything, um, interesting happen? 421 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:56,900 No, it was pretty quiet. 422 00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:59,600 Um, I still can't get any answers right on the chase. 423 00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:01,900 You and me both, girl? Yeah. 424 00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:07,340 You all good? 425 00:23:07,580 --> 00:23:08,580 Me? Yeah. 426 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,120 Are you all good? 427 00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:11,959 Mm-hmm. 428 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,140 Yeah. Totally. 429 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,480 Great. 430 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,720 I'm gonna get some sleep. 431 00:23:20,340 --> 00:23:21,580 Yeah. That's great. 432 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,120 Night. Goodnight. 433 00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:24,420 Night. 434 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:37,740 Secrets can destroy a marriage much like feelings can destroy a friendship. 435 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:42,980 Either way, once they're out there, there's no going back.