All language subtitles for Sullivans.Travels.1941.Criterion.1080p.BluRay.x265.HEVC.AAC-SARTRE

[ Train Whistle Blowing ]

[ Gasping ]

[ Train Whistle Blowing]

You see? You see the symbolism of it?

Capital and Labor destroy each other.

It teaches a moral lesson.
It has social significance.

Who wants to see that kind of stuff?
It gives me the creeps.

- Tell him how long it played in the Music Hall.
- It was held over a fifth week.

Who goes to the Music Hall? Communists!

Communists? This picture's
an answer to Communists!

It shows we're awake and not dunking our
heads in the sand like a bunch of ostriches!

I want this picture to be a commentary
on modern conditions.

Stark realism- the problems
that confront the average man.

- But with a little sex.
- A little, but I don't want to stress it.

I want this picture to be a document.
I want to hold a mirror up to life.

I want this to be a picture of dignity...

a true canvas
of the suffering of humanity.

- But with a little sex.
- With a little sex in it.

- How about a nice musical?
- How can you talk about musicals at a time like this...

with the world committing suicide?

With corpses piling up in the street.

With grim Death gargling at you
from every corner.

- With people slaughtered like sheep!
- Maybe they'd like to forget that.

Why did they hold this over for a fifth
week at the Music Hall- for the ushers?

- It died in Pittsburgh.
- Like a dog.

- What do they know in Pittsburgh?
- They know what they like.

If they knew what they liked,
they wouldn't live in Pittsburgh.

That's no argument. If you pandered to
the public, you'd still be in the horse age.

- You think we're not? Look at Hopalong Cassidy.
- You look at him.

We'd still be making Keystone chases,
bathing beauties, custard pie operas.

- And a fortune.
- A fortune.

Of course, I'm just a minor employee here,
Mr. LeBrand.

He's starting that one again.

I wanted to make you something outstanding-
something you could be proud of...

something that would realize
the potentialities of film...

as the sociological
and artistic medium that it is.

- [ Murmurs]
- With a little sex in it. Something like-

- Something like Capra. I know.
- What's the matter with Capra?

- Look, you want to make O Brother, Where Art Thou?
- Yes.

- Now, wait a minute!
- Then go ahead and make it!

For what you're getting,
I can't afford to argue with you.

That's a fine way to start a man out
on a million-dollar production.

You want it, you've got it!

I can take it on the chin.
I've taken it before.

- Not from me you haven't.
- Not from you, Sully, that's true.

Not with pictures like 80 Long Sarong...

Hey, Hey, in the Hayloft,
Ants in Your Plants of 1939.

But they weren't about tramps,
lockouts, sweatshops...

people eating garbage in alleys and living
in piano boxes and ash cans and-

- And phooey!
- They're about nice, clean young people...

who fell in love-
with laughter and music and legs.

- Take that scene in Hey, Hey, in the Hayloft-
- But conditions have changed.

There isn't any work.
There isn't any food.

- These are troublous times.
- What do you know about trouble?

- What do / know about trouble?
- Yes, what do you know about trouble?

- What do you mean what do I know about trouble?
- Just what I'm saying.

You want to make a picture
about garbage cans.

What do you know about garbage cans?
When did you eat your last meal out of one?

- What's that got to do with it?
- He's asking you.

You want to make an epic about misery,
show hungry people sleeping in doorways.

- With newspapers around them.
- You want to grind 10,000 feet of hard luck.

- All I'm asking you is, what do you know about hard luck?
- Yes!

- What do I know about hard
luck? Don't you think I've- - No.

- What?
- You have not.

I sold newspapers till I was 20.

Then I worked in a shoe store
and put myself through law school at night.

- Where were you at 20?
- I was in college.

When I was 13, I supported three sisters,
two brothers and a widowed mother.

- Where were you at 13?
- I was in boarding school.

- I'm sorry.
- You don't have to be ashamed of it, Sully.

That's the reason your pictures have been
so light, so cheerful, so inspiring.

They don't stink with messages.

That's why I paid you 500 a week
when you were 24.

- 750 when you were 25.
- 1,000 when you were 26.

- When I was 26, I was getting 18.
- 2,000 when you were 27.

- I was getting 25 then.
- I'd just opened- 3,000 after Thanks for Yesterday.

4,000 after Ants in Your Plants.

I suppose you're trying to tell me
I don't know what trouble is.

- Yes!
- In a nice way, Sully.

You're absolutely right.
I haven't any idea what it is.

People always like
what they don't know anything about.

People always like
what they don't know anything about.

You're a gentleman to admit it, Sully.
But then, you are anyway.

How about making
Ants in Your Plants of 1947?

- You can have Bob Hope, Mary Martin-
- Maybe Bing Crosby.

- The Abbott Dancers.
- Maybe Jack Benny and Rochester.

- A big-name band.
- What?

Oh, no. I want to make
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

But I'll tell you what I'm gonna do first.

I'm going down to Wardrobe
and get some old clothes, some old shoes.

- Huh?
- I'm gonna start out with 10 cents in my pocket.

- What?
- I don't know where I'm going, but I'm not coming back till I know what trouble is.

- What?
- Don't worry. You can take me off salary.

Who's talking about taking you off salary?

- So long. And thanks for the idea.
- Wait a minute! Don't be so impulsive.

- How soon will you be back?
- Maybe a week, maybe a month, maybe a year.

Don't worry about me.
And thanks, Dracula.

- You gave me a great idea.
- I gave you-

- Now look what you've done.
- What I've done?

With your lies about selling newspapers!

I sold as many newspapers
as you supported a family at 13.

- I opened a shooting gallery.
- With money you borrowed from your uncle.

- We better insure him for a million.
- He's worth more.

- The bonehead.
- Yes, but what a genius.

Get me a copy of that O Brother,
Where Art Thou?

I guess I'll have to read it now.

Make that two copies.
Why should I suffer alone?

- How's this?
- Isn't that overdoing it a bit, sir?

Why break their hearts?

All right. Let's try that one again.

I think this one's
sufficiently seedy, sir.

There's no use overplaying it,
is there, sir?

[Telephone Rings ]

Yes?

- Your wife is on one, sir.
- What does she want?

I was talking to Burrows, but I suspect it has
something to do with today being the 15th.

Payday. All right, put her on.

You may connect Mrs. Sullivan.

Yes?

You don't happen to remember
what day this is, do you, dear?

Yes, I happen to remember what day it is.

No, I haven't forgotten anything.
Have you?

Perhaps I could be a little bit
more polite, Mrs. Sullivan.

But somehow when I talk to you,
I don't feel polite.

I regret it, but that's the way it is.

I don't know whether I signed it or not.

I always close my eyes when I sign your check.
Maybe I signed the blotter.

[ Button Clicking ]

Have you made out
the Panther Woman's check yet?

You better get it to her
before she comes here with the sheriff.

She has a very peculiar sense of humor.

Good morning, sir.

Good morning, Burrows. How do you like it?

I don't like it at all, sir.
Fancy dress, I take it?

What's the matter with it?

I have never been sympathetic
to the caricaturing of the poor and needy.

- Who's caricaturing?
- Burrows doesn't know about the expedition, sir.

I'm going out on the road to find out
what it's like to be poor and needy.

Then I'm going to make a picture about it.

If you'll permit me to say so,
the subject is not an interesting one.

The poor know all about poverty.

Only the morbid rich would
find the topic glamorous.

- But I'm doing it for the poor.
- I doubt if they would appreciate it, sir.

They rather resent the invasion of their privacy.
I believe quite properly so.

Also, such excursions can be
extremely dangerous, sir.

I worked for a gentleman once
who likewise, with two friends...

accoutred themselves as you have, sir,
and then went out for a lark.

They have not been heard from since.

- That was some time ago?
- 1912, sir.

Uh-huh.

You see, sir...

rich people and theorists-
who are usually rich people-

think of poverty in the negative,
as the lack of riches...

as disease might be called
the lack of health.

But it isn't, sir.
Poverty is not the lack of anything...

but a positive plague-
virulent in itself...

contagious as cholera,
with filth, criminality...

vice and despair as only
a few of its symptoms.

It is to be stayed away from
even for purposes of study.

It is to be shunned.

You seem to have made quite a study of it.

Quite unwillingly, sir.
Will that be all, sir?

- Thanks.
- Very good, sir.

He gets a little bit gruesome
every once in a while.

Always reading books, sir.

- Oh.
- As a matter of fact, sir...

I don't like the idea of a gentleman
of your inexperience...

leaving with only 10 cents
in his pockets...

so I took the extreme liberty, sir...

of having a studio identification card...

sewed into the sole of each of your boots.

You'd think I was a child.
The whole purpose of this expedition-

- [ Chattering ]
- I brought Casalsis and Mr. Jones-

All right, all right. But before you all
get started, I want to tell you one thing.

- My mind is made up.
- Nobody's here to argue with you.

- You know that your slightest wish-
- We talked it all over.

- There's something to the idea.
- There's a great deal to it.

- It's a pip.
- Stupendous.

Cassy has it all worked out.
It's safe as a church, big as a cathedral.

Bigger! It's the story of the year.

It'll make the front page
of every newspaper in the country.

- I'm sending five of my boys-
- With me in charge.

An advance agent in front
and a follow-up behind.

- A cook and a still man.
- I want lots of 8-by-10's.

- Now, listen-
- I'm revamping that lovely land yacht...

that DeMille used in Northwest Mounted

It follows you at a discreet distance.

Hot coffee, sandwiches,
a little bar in back.

It's connected to the studio
by shortwave. It also carries-

- A hot shower and a secretary.
- And a physician.

Look, I'm trying to find trouble...

but I won't find it with
six acts of vaudeville on my tail...

at least not the kind I'm looking for.

- Be reasonable, Sully.
- I'm reupholstering it from stem to stem.

- Wait till you see.
- I tell you I've made up my mind.

- Definitely?
- Definitely.

- In that case, there's nothing else to do-
- You said it.

But serve you with this summons
to appear and show cause...

why you should not be restrained from jeopardizing
your unique and extraordinary services...

- by willfully, recklessly and unnecessarily-
- Will you please wait a minute!

We have all day, Sully.

But you must realize we also
have minds, also made up.

Thus begins this remarkable expedition...

- into the valley of the shadow of adversity.
- The shadow of the what?

The valley of the shadow of adversity.

- It's what you call a paraphrase.
- Alone and unattended-

- With eight stooges.
- I'll write the story, if it's just the same to you.

Prey to passing prowlers,
poverty and policemen-

- How poetic.
- with only 10 cents in his pocket-

I wish I had what he's got in the bank.

John Lloyd Sullivan,
the Caliph of Comedy-

- Departed Hollywood at 4:00 this morning.
- You said it.

- Can I sell you another stack, Doctor?
- Get me some bicarbonate of soda.

- And don't call me “Doctor.” - He
was talking to me, I think. No, thank you.

- You say you don't want no bicarbonate of soda, Doctor?
- Don't call me “Doctor”!

- No, I don't want any bicarbonate of soda.
- I thought you say you did.

Well, he don't!

- This pace is very depressing.
- So was the breakfast.

Why doesn't he read a book
if he wants to learn something?

- Who, the cook? He could learn plenty.
- No. Sullivan.

- Maybe he don't know how to read.
- The cook?

No, the-

This is gonna be a great trip.

Sorry. I must have the wrong number.

That was the lighthouse keeper
on San Clemente Island.

Ask him what his daughter's doing.

I said the lighthouse keeper
on San Clemente Island.

- How about a little gin rummy?
- I don't drink, thank you. Never touch it.

[ Brakes Squealing ]

- How about a lift, Bud?
- If you don't mind going fast.

I'm studying to be a Whippet tanker.

- Go to it, Lieutenant!
- You're there, General.

- Can a Whippet tank make a sharp turn?
- What?

Can a Whippet tank go up a side road?

A Whippet tank can go anywhere.
Hang on!

[Tires Squealing ]

[ Horn Honking ]

[ Man Shouting ]

[Yelps]

[Engine Rumbling]

Thank you, Major.

- This is where I get out.
- She's some tank, ain't she?

In a class by herself.
I never felt anything like it.

Well, I guess I better be
getting to school now anyway.

Yeah, I guess you better had.
Drive carefully.

- You know me.
- By the way, how old are you?

- Thirteen. 80 long.
- So long.

What a future.

What were you chasing, a jackrabbit?

- Felt more like a kangaroo.
- There he is!

Well, how'd you like it?

That was a dirty trick, boss.

That was just a rough idea
unless you play ball with me.

You know I can't do what I started out to do
with you guys chasing me around...

so I'll make you a fair proposition.

You go wherever you like
and take it easy for a couple of weeks.

I'll join you then or sooner.
If the boss wants to talk to me...

I'm just up ahead mooching a lunch
from a farmer's wife.

Is that a square proposition, or isn't it?

- Well, I always wanted to go to Boulder Dam.
- You're there.

If you think I'm going
to look at Boulder Dam-

How about National Yellow Park?

- That goes double for National Yellow Park.
- If you'd said Las Vegas-

What do they do in Las Vegas?

Everything, Doctor. It's an education.

All right. I'll meet you in Las Vegas
on or about the first.

And thanks, kids. Thanks sincerely.

[ Rooster Crows ]

Yoo-hoo.

- Yes, ma'am?
- Don't get too tired.

Yes, ma'am.

First day's work. You don't suppose
you're overworking him, do you?

Oh, but I doubt it. He seems very strong.
Did you notice his torso?

- I notice that you noticed it.
- Don't be vindictive, dear.

Some people are just naturally more sensitive
to some things in life than some people.

Some are blind to beauty, while others-

Even as a little girl, you were
more of the acid type, dear.

While I, if you will remember-

- I remember better than you do.
- Well, forget it.

And furthermore, I have never done
anything that I was ashamed of, Ursula.

- Neither have I.
- Yes, dear, but nobody ever asked you to.

- Why, Zeffie Kornhauser!
- Now that you've had your attack for the day...

let's endeavor to recapture our good humor
and remember our breeding.

- Baloney.
- Yes. I do hope he'll like it here.

It's so hard to keep a man.
Do you know what I need?

- Yes.
- I need a permanent.

I was thinking of taking in
a picture show...

which brings up the problem of clothes
for the young man.

- It certainly does.
- Do you think dear Joseph would mind...

if we gave him some of the clothes
he has so little need for now?

[ Ursula ] He's never minded before.

♪♪ [ Movie Playing: Violins, Sentimental ]

- [Man On Screen, Murmuring ]
- [ Woman Softly Shushing ]

[ Paper Bag Rustling ]

[Whistle Blows ]

[Whistle Blows ]

[ Baby Crying ]

[ Peanut Shells Crunching ]

[ Hiccups]

[Wrapper Crackling ]

[Crunching ]

- Sleep tight.
- Yes, ma'am.

- And don't let the skeeters bite.
- Yes, ma'am.

- You're sure you have everything you want?
- Yes, ma'am.

- Absolutely sure?
- Positive.

- But your bed isn't open.
- That's all right. I'll take care of that.

Oh, nonsense. That's woman's work.

♪ For men must work
and women must weep ♪

Or however it goes. Ah!

- There. Would you like a hot water bottle?
- No, ma'am.

- You haven't any pyjies.
- I never use them.

Oh. Joseph wore a nightgown.

- Is that a fact?
- Oh, yes.

- Well, I guess there's nothing else.
- No, I guess not.

I'll let you know as soon
as the bathroom is free.

- It's community.
- Ah.

Well, uh- Oh.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Do you think he'll stay?
- I do, do hope so.

[ Lock Turns ]

[Clock Chimes]

Who is it?

[ Trousers Ripping ]

[ Ripping ]

[ Loud Clattering ]

Say, could you give me a lift?
I'm freezing to death.

- What did you fall into?
- Everything there was.

Okay. Hop in the back.
Here. Drape this around you.

- [ Stuttering ] Thanks a million, buddy.
- Okay.

Come on, buddy, wake up.
This is as far as I go.

Huh? What? Who are you?

Come on, wake up.
I don't want the boss to see you.

- We ain't supposed to give no lifts.
- Sure. Thanks a lot.

- Hey, what city is this?
- That's Hollywood.

- Hollywood?
- You get a chance to see the moving-picture stars.

Well, so long.

♪♪ [ Radio: Big Band, Sentimental ]

- Good morning.
- Morning.

Give me a cup of coffee and a doughnut,
if that's enough for it.

- You want it plain or with powdered sugar?
- With a little cream.

- The sinker?
- Oh, just any kind.

- Or some rolls. I don't care.
- Yes, sir.

- Give him some ham and eggs.
- Yes, ma'am.

That's very kind of you, sister,
but I'm not hungry.

A cup of coffee and a sinker
will fix me up fine.

Don't be a sucker.
Give him some ham and eggs.

The way I'm fixed, 35 cents
isn't going to make any difference.

- Here.
- Thanks.

Things a little tough, huh?

I wouldn't be sitting
in an owl wagon for local color.

They locked me out of my room.

That's too bad.
Well, things are tough everywhere.

War in Europe, strikes over here.

There's no work. There's no food.

Drink your coffee while it's hot.

- What did they look you out of your room for?
- Did I ask you any questions?

- I'm sorry.
- It's all right.

- You been in Hollywood long?
- Long enough.

- Trying to crash the movies or something?
- Something like that.

- I guess that's pretty hard to do, huh?
- I guess so.

I never got close enough to find out.

- Oh. I'm sorry.
- Say, who's being sorry for who?

Am I buying you the eggs,
or are you buying me the eggs?

- Just like to repay you for them.
- All right, give me a letter of introduction to Lubitsch.

- I might be able to do that. Who's Lubitsch?
- Drink your coffee.

- [ Muffled ] Can you act?
- What did you say?

- I said, can you act?
- Sure, I can act.

- Would you like me to give you a recitation?
- Go ahead.

Skip it. My next act
will be an impersonation...

of a young lady going home-
on the thumb.

- In that outfit?
- How about your own outfit?

- I mean, haven't you got a car?
- No. Have you?

- No, but-
- Then don't get ritzy.

And I'll tell you some
other things I haven't got.

I haven't got a yacht
or a pearl necklace or a fur coat...

or a country seat
or even a winter seat.

I could use a new girdle too.

I wish I could give you
some of the things you need.

[ Laughing ] You wouldn't be trying
to lead me astray, would you?

You know, the nice thing
about buying food for a man...

is that you don't have
to laugh at his jokes.

Just think, if you were some big shot,
like a casting director...

I'd be staring into
your bridgework saying...

“Yes, Mr. Smearkase. No, Mr. Smearkase.

Not really, Mr. Smearkase?

Oh, Mr. Smearkase, that's my knee.”

Give Mr. Smearkase
another cup of coffee. Make it two.

- Want a piece of pie?
- No thanks, kid.

Why, Mr. Smearkase,
aren't you getting a little familiar?

Look-

Thanks.

Look, if you wanted
to stay in Hollywood 3 little longer-

Well, I don't want to stay
in Hollywood 3 little longer.

I've used up all my money,
all my going-home money.

I was just gonna say
I have a friend that's out of town...

and you might be able to stay at his place
for a couple of weeks.

Maybe, by then,
things will break a little better for you.

- He might even be able to help you a little.
- No, thanks.

There's no strings to this, kid.

I know you don't know who I am, but I used
to know a few people around here.

- This guy's really out of town.
- And you know a way in through the window.

- No, thanks.
- No. I'm pretty sure that in this case-

I'm going home, big boy. I can get
a ride out of here in a little while.

I don't like to think of you asking
a bunch of thugs for lifts along the highway.

- Then don't think about it.
- You mean you'd just get in any car that comes along?

- Anything but a Stanley Steamer. My uncle blew up in one.
- That's terrible.

You can't tell what kind of 3 heel
is apt to be behind the wheel.

All heels are pretty much the same.

- Look.
- Yes, Mr. Smearkase?

This friend of mine- the guy I was
telling you about that's out of town-

I'm sure he wouldn't mind
if I borrowed his car.

- What is it, a streetcar?
- It's a car. Just wait here.

You're just going to get
yourself in trouble.

I'm not going to get myself in trouble.

I'm just gonna repay you
for the ham and eggs.

That isn't necessary, big boy.
Someday when your ship comes in...

you can buy somebody that's hungry some
ham and eggs, and we'll be all square.

That's fine. Just wait here,
and I'll be back before you can say-

- What was that big director's name?
- Lubitsch.

Lubitsch.

Say, this is some car.

Yes. Now, where would you like to go?

Could you drop me off at, uh-
Or maybe that'd be too far.

- That depends entirely on where it is.
- Would Chicago be too far?

- Chicago? You mean Chicago, Illinois?
- Yes.

I wasn't actually thinking of
driving as far as Chicago.

That's all right.
You can drop me anywhere.

I happened to think of Chicago because
that's a little better than halfway...

and I can easily
hitch a ride out of there.

- Where do you live- Bermuda?
- You don't have to get funny.

I didn't ask you for a ride.
You can drop me anywhere.

Now wait a minute. How's this?

Suppose you drop me off somewhere
and then you go leisurely home.

I'll pick up the car later.
That's what you call an idea.

You don't happen to operate
out of a booby hatch, do you?

You better drop me at the next corner and
take this bus back where you stole it from.

Don't talk nonsense.
I left a note saying I was taking the car.

- Or did I?
- It would be nice if you could remember.

Would be funny, though,
if they arrested me for taking it.

A panic. Who does it belong to?

- Belongs to a picture director- a guy named Sullivan.
- Oh.

- You never heard of him?
- No.

He's made quite a few pictures.
Ants in Your Plants of 1939.

- Did he do that?
- Yeah. Did you see it?

- Yes.
- Well? Well, did you like it?

- Not much.
- Oh. Some people thought it was pretty good.

I don't care for musicals.
They hurt my ears.

I see. Well, did you like
Hey, Hey, in the Hayloft

- Oh, I was crazy about that.
- I thought that would just about fit.

- You remember the scene where the two are in the hayloft?
- Perfectly.

And she made him close his eyes
and count three before kissing her.

- Yes, yes.
- And then the pig came out, and he kissed the pig instead.

- It was on a very high plane.
- [ Laughing ]

Then he fell through a hole
and sneezed at a horse.

And the horse sneezed back at him.

Oh, that was a wonderful scene.

Of course it was stupid, but it was wonderful.
Who directed that picture?

Don't you think with the world
in its present condition...

with Death snarling at you
from every street corner...

that people are a little
allergic to comedies?

- No.
- Perhaps I didn't make myself clear.

Say, how come you know a picture director
well enough to borrow his car?

Well, as a matter of fact,
I used to know most of those boys...

but naturally I don't
like to mention it in a suit like this.

As a matter of fact,
I used to be a picture director.

- Why, you poor kid.
- Don't get emotional. I'll be all right.

What kind of pictures did you make?

- More along educational lines.
- Oh, no wonder.

There's nothing like a deep-dish movie
to drive you out in the open.

What are you talking about?

Film's the greatest educational medium
the world has ever known.

- You take a picture like Hold Back Tomorrow.
- You hold it.

- Did you ever meet Lubitsch?
- Yes.

Gee, I bet he wouldn't even
speak to you now, huh?

- He spoke to me day before yesterday.
- Isn't that swell?

Funny, isn't it- to meet
your first picture director...

on the day you're leaving Hollywood,
all washed-up.

Even a washed-up picture director.

Don't get sympathetic.
I might make a comeback, you know.

That's what they all say.
Man that had the room ahead of me...

he was always going to make a comeback.

He was a picture director too.
Then one day he shot himself instead.

They had to re-paper the room.

You wouldn't ever do anything like that,
would you, big boy?

Not on your wallpaper.

[Siren Wailing ]

What do you suppose that is?

Whatever it is,
there's absolutely nothing they can do.

Remember that.

- What did you say?
- I said there's absolutely nothing they can do.

[ Door Clangs ]

- All right, you.
- All right yourself.

Don't give it a thought.

Well?

Oh, good morning, sir.

- I'm so sorry.
- Good morning, sir.

- Ever seen this man before?
- That is Mr. Sullivan, sir...

the owner of the alleged hot car.

- Then what's all the hullabaloo?
- That's what I'd like to know.

- You John L. Sullivan?
- What about it?

- What's your occupation?
- Motion picture director.

- Is that right?
- Yes, sir.

- Let me see your driver's license.
- I haven't got it.

- Did you bring it?
- No, sir.

- Driving without a license, huh?
- Yes, isn't that terrible?

I suppose that calls for a dollar fine
and 10 minutes in jail.

- You sure this is Sullivan?
- Oh, quite, sir.

- What are you doing in those clothes?
- I just paid my income tax.

- All right, but you don't drive that car without a license.
- Okay.

Let the girl out too.
She's getting bored in there.

How does a girl fit in this picture?

There's always a girl in the picture.
Haven't you ever been to the movies?

Where's he taking us now?
Whose car is this?

- The same guy- Sullivan.
- Where's he taking us?

Down to the depot to buy you a ticket
and send you home. Stop fooling around.

- Who's buying me a ticket?
- Sullivan.

- What did I ever do for him?
- You bought him some eggs.

Oh. So you're the washed-up director.

I'm afraid I exaggerated
that part of it a little bit.

What are you doing in those clothes?

- I just pulled that one down at the police station.
- Huh?

I made up a joke.
Look, I'm not sore at you.

I'm sore at those cops
for dragging me all the way back here.

No matter where I start out for, I always
end up right back here in Hollywood.

You're a very nice girl, as a matter of fact,
and I'm glad to have met you.

If there's ever anything I can do for you,
I'd be delighted. Honestly.

- You mean that?
- Sincerely.

Then buy me some ham and eggs
before I bite you.

Home.

Where's the swimming pool?
You must have a swimming pool.

Right out here.

Outside dining room. Barbecue.

Hmm.

- Pretty, isn't it?
- Yeah.

There's the tennis court up there.

Grape arbor there and a grove there.

I guess that's about all.

- What are you looking at me that way for?
- Oh!

- Hey, you big fathead!
- What's the big idea?

That's for your swimming pools
and your tennis courts...

and your limousines and your barbecues.

That's for making fun of a poor girl
who only tried to help you.

- You big faker.
- Who made fun of you?

You did, with your stories of being
a washed-up director, you big clunk.

- Oh, I did, did I?
- [ Screaming ]

[ Laughing ]

Breakfast is served, sir.

- You might have shaved.
- I need these whiskers for my experiment.

- Oh, yes, the noble experiment.
- You don't have to make any cracks.

I don't suffer and starve
because I like it, you know.

Neither does anybody else.

- I'm sorry.
- It's all right.

- I'm sorry I pushed you in the water too.
- I probably needed it.

- You certainly did.
- Did I?

I didn't mind you. As a matter of fact,
I had kind of a yen for you.

- You have?
- Not in that thing.

I liked you better as a tramp.

[ Sullivan ]
I can't help what kind of people you like.

It's funny. I suppose I ought
to be very happy for you...

as if you'd just struck oil or something.

- Instead of that, I'm sore.
- Don't frown.

You're making lines in your face.

You've taken all the joy out of life.

I was all through with this kind of stuff.

I knew I'd never have it,
but there was no envy in my heart.

I'd found a friend
who'd swiped a car to take me home.

Now I'm right back where I started-

just an extra girl having
breakfast with a director.

Only I didn't use to have
breakfast with them.

- Maybe that was my trouble.
- Did they ever ask you to?

- No.
- Then don't pat yourself on the back.

- Take me with you.
- What?

On your experiment.
I don't want to be sent home.

Don't be childish.
I'll tell you what I'll do.

You can stay here
for a couple weeks like I told you.

When I get back,
I'll see what I can do for you.

I don't want to start
all that stuff again.

Take me with you.

When you get as far as you're going,
we can say good-bye.

I'll go the rest of the way alone.

It'll make a nice ending, and we'll finish
what we started this morning.

That's absolutely out of the question.

Please. You don't know
anything about anything.

You don't know how to get a meal,
how to keep a secret.

- You can't even stay out of town.
- Thanks.

I know 50 times as much
about trouble as you ever will.

Besides, you owe it to me.

You sort of belong to me.
When you were a hobo, I found you.

- Piffle.
- Please.

- It's absolutely out of the question.
- I'll throw you in the water.

You'd take my mind off my work.

[ Laughs ] The big director
that has all the girls panting for him.

- I tell you-
- I'll follow you.

I'll tell everybody who you are,
like a kid sister.

You'll follow me?

Yes, I'll follow you, and I'll holler,
“This guy's a phony, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Sullivan,
the big director from Hollywood.

A Phonus balonus , a faker, a heel"--

If I may join in the controversy, sir...

I think the young lady's suggestion
an excellent one.

- You may not join in the controversy.
- I will, I will, I will!

- I'm going with you!
- You'll do nothing of the kind.

Would you get me some tramp clothes,
Mr. Burrows?

- Certainly, miss. Certainly.
- Go down to the station and get me a ticket to-

- Where do you live?
- I won't tell you. I won't be sent home on the rattler.

You stop that!
Now stop that! Grab her feet!

Oh! Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Certainly, sir.

- Now, miss- Now, miss- Stop it, please, miss!
- I won't be sent home!

- Let go of me!
- Oh, my!

Oh!

Mr. Burrows. This way, Mr. Burrows.

There we are. Now-

Now one, two, three. Pull hard!

Hello, Information?

Have you any freight trains going east
this afternoon or early this evening?

5:48. Thank you very much indeed, sir.

Oh, and could you tell me,
does that train carry tramps?

And if so, where do they get on?

What?

It's on page two.

- What did you say?
- Tramps.

How would you like to take a flying-

Wise guy.

Yes, sir?

What was that again?

I said I wonder if you'd be kind enough
to settle a bet for us.

Just a few of us here at the club.

If a tramp were to board
your 5:48 this afternoon...

from where would he board it?

I see. I see, yes.
But not within the yard limits.

I think that gives me
the complete picture.

Thank you very much for your trouble.

Oh, and by the way, I win.

[Laughs] Good day.

A different approach
to the same problem.

[ Steam Hissing ]

[ Bell Clanging ]

[ Train Whistle Blows ]

I think this is it, sir.

- [ Clanging Continues ]
- [ Train Whistle Blows ]

Why don't you go back with the car?

You look about as much
like a boy as Mae West.

All right, they'll think I'm your frail.

I believe it's called a beazle, miss,
if memory serves.

- Good-bye, Burrows. See you in a couple of weeks.
- Good-bye, sir.

May I close, sir, by warning you
against the entire expedition...

which I envision
with deep apprehension...

and gloomy foreboding.

Thanks. Same to you.

Come on.

- [ Bell Clanging ]
- [Train Engine Chugging ]

[ Train Whistle Blowing ]

- [ Bell Clanging ]
- [Whistle Blows ]

[ Chattering, Shouting ]

[ Man ] Don't let it run over ya!

- Jump!
- [Grunts]

[Girl ] Come on. Here.

I'll help you.

- Let me up!
- I've got you!

- We made it!
- Yeah.

Amateurs.

Whew!

Oh. How do you do?

- Beautiful weather.
- If it doesn't rain.

How do you feel
about the labor situation?

Where are you going?

I hope we didn't disturb you.

- Very interesting couple.
- Yeah.

[Sniffing ]

- Do you smell anything?
- I certainly do.

- What does it smell like to you?
- Hogs.

- That's what I was afraid of.
- I'm getting hungry.

How can you possibly be hungry
when you just ate?

I'm not a scientist.
All I know is I'm hungry.

[ Sneezes ]

You'd better tell the porter
to close the window.

I didn't ask you to come along
in the first place. Now that you're-

[ Sneezes ]

[ Stuffed Nose ]
Don't start “baking” wisecracks.

- “Dough,” sir.
- Blasted draft in here at that.

- Where is this train going?
- I don't know.

- How long does it take to get there?
- I didn't ask you to come along.

I think that's a perfectly
reasonable question.

Haven't you got enough imagination
to pretend we're broke...

hungry, homeless, drifting in despair?

Let's just sit here and try to feel
like a couple of tramps.

- Cold?
- I'll be all right.

- It's the desert.
- [Yawning ] I'll be all right.

As soon as this blasted thing
comes to a town some place...

I'll send for a car
and have you taken home.

This is a lot of hokey-palokey.

This is a terrible way
to travel, with a girl.

It's better with a girl than without one.
You would have frozen to death.

If I go back, will you go back with me?

- Nonsense!
- Then I won't go back either.

You're so simple you're apt
to get into a lot of trouble.

What do you think I'm out here for?

Gee, I like that about you.

You're like those knights of old...

who used to ride around
looking for trouble.

- Who was it that rode on a pure white horse?
- Lady Godiba.

She must have been a nut.

I bet her husband was sore.
Are you jealous?

Why don't you shut up
and try to get some sleep?

- Will you go to sleep too?
- I'll try.

Why don't you try counting the hogs
jumping over a hedge?

Listen, short britches- [ Sniffles ]

[Sullivan Groans]

[Whistle Blowing ]

- [ Sneezes ]
- What's that?

- Nothing. Just me.
- What?

- I sneezed.
- You what?

I- [ Sneezes ]

- I sneezed.
- Oh, you poor darling.

- Have you got hay fever?
- I think it's hog fever.

[Coughing ]

Oh, you poor lamb.

I'll be all right
as soon as the sun gets a little warmer.

Are you hungry?
[Giggles ] You got me doing it.

- Have we got any eating money?
- Ten cents.

Can we spend it for breakfast,
or are you saving it for something?

I've already told you.
I'll send for a car for you-

I can't help it if I'm good-natured.

I like to be with you,
and it puts me in a good humor.

You take lots of girls and made them
sleep in a hog sty all night...

then didn't tell them where their breakfast
was coming from the next morning...

they wouldn't take it lying down.

We'll find some breakfast somewhere.

- In some swill pail, I suppose.
- What do the other bums do?

They steal chiggins- chickens.

And they roast them over campfires...

with baked potatoes
and green corn on the cob...

- with melted butter-
- Shut up!

- Where do they get butter?
- They steal it.

Well, they don't.
It isn't as easy as all that.

There's a lot of suffering
in this world...

that ordinary people
don't know anything about.

- [ Sniffles ]
- Now what's the matter?

- I'm hungry.
- Well-

[ Sneezes ]

[ Train Whistle Blowing ]

There's a town up ahead.
Let's get off and see what happens.

- What town is it?
- I don't know. I suppose it's Hollywood.

Look. There's a lunch stand.

Come on.

Well, come on.
I can't keep running along here all day.

Here I come.

Just a minute.

Well, come on.

Did I hurt you any?

Well, you didn't do me any good.

[ Gasping ]

Come on. [ Sneezes ]

[ Horn Honks]

[ Train Whistle Blowing ]

Cup of coffee and sinker for one.

I never eat till noon.
It gives me indigestion.

- Just make that two coffees.
- That'll be 10 cents.

That's all right.

It's right here some place.

- Holy Moses.
- What's the matter?

I must have spent it in that owl wagon.

- I'll never get rich.
- Oh, gee.

You're a little richer than you were.

Hundreds of miles from everything,
cut off from the world...

a taste of human kindness.

I'll never forget it as long as I live.
What town is this?

- Las Vegas, Nevada.
- Las Vegas, Nevada, and this is the Busy Bee.

Las Vegas? You mean Las Vegas?

- What about it?
- Is there a land yacht waiting here?

Land yacht? You mean that thing?

That's perfectly wonderful, Mr. Sullivan.

I rejoice in your experience.
And where does this gentleman live?

Just up there by the tracks. Give him
a hundred dollars, never mind who from.

- That's swell.
- A great human-interest story.

It'll probably ruin him.

He'll give turkey dinners to every slug
that comes in and never hit the jackpot again.

All right, all right.
Buy the kid here a few clothes...

and meet me in Kansas City-
some place near the station.

I'm going the hard way. So long, gang.

- Oh-
- Just a minute, please. Sit down.

But listen, Doc-

You listen!
It's three days in bed minimum.

This is just a cold shot.
You won't even feel it.

[ Shouts ]

- I haven't time to spend three days in bed!
- You'll take the time.

You'll get to Kansas City just as soon...

and you can imagine that you
went there on your cow-snatcher...

- or whatever you use.
- [ Gasping ]

- What have you got an imagination-
- [ Sneezes ]

- Here's something for you.
- What's that?

It's Christmas. 80 long!

[ Knocking ]

- Come in.
- Here's a wrapper for you and some slippers.

- What?
- A wrapper.

Oh. Thanks.

There's some makeup
in the medicine cabinet.

- Oh, thanks. I can use it.
- You sure can.

Yes, sir, Mr. LeBrand.

He's right here in the next room
taking a little snooze.

He looks great. This whole thing
is doing him a power of good.

[Coughing ]

[ Spritzing ]

[Sniffs]

[ Spritzing ]

[ Knocking ]

Come in.

- Hello. Feel better?
- No. I'm sore.

There's nothing the matter with me
but a little fever.

Even if I did get sick, they could've sent me
to some free hospital or something.

Wherever they send you.
It would have been very interesting.

They give you a nice free burial, too,
in Potter's Field.

Free burial? Why does everybody
exaggerate everything so much?

I've got a little cold in my head.

You take a dose of salts,
there you are.

- It's because you're a very valuable man.
- Bushwa.

- You make very lovely pictures.
- Phooey.

- Well, you do.
- It's a funny thing...

how everything keeps shoving me
back to Hollywood or Beverly Hills-

[ Coughs ]

Or this monstrosity we're riding in.

Almost like- like gravity...

as if some force were saying,
“Get back where you belong.

You don't belong out here in real life,
you phony, you.”

You're a little feverish.

Maybe there's a universal law
that says, “Stay put.

As you are, so shall you remain.”

Maybe that's why tramps
are always in trouble.

They don't vote. They don't pay taxes.

They violate the law of nature.

You look very pretty in that outfit.

Maybe that's why they don't
want trailer colonies.

Or am I getting a bit profound?

You're getting a bit hot.

Your hand is very cool.

But nothing is going to stop me.

I'm going to find out
how it feels to be in trouble...

without friends, without credit...

without checkbook, without name.

- Alone.
- And I'll go with you.

How can I be alone if you're with me?

[ No Audible Dialogue]

♪♪ [ Hymn]

[ No Audible Laughter]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[No Audio]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

Yes, sir, Mr. LeBrand. It's all finished-

the greatest expedition of modern times...

- almost the greatest sacrifice ever made by human man.
- ♪♪ [ Man Whistling ]

- Good morning, Joseph.
- Yes, ma'am.

- He knows everything.
- Good morning.

- Now don't you worry.
- [ Both ] Good morning.

He's all washed up, except tonight he's
just going through for a quick tour.

He's taking a thousand dollars
in five-dollar bills...

and he's going to hand them out
to these tramps...

in gratitude for what they done for him.

Now, is that a story?

Does that give you
a lump in your throat...

or does that give you
a lump in your throat?

[ Snoring ]

[Snorts]

- [ Sighs ] Hello.
- Hello. Tired?

No, no. I was just... thinking.

Well, here we are
at the end of the adventure.

I'll go down tonight and give them
a little money, and that winds it up.

Now what do you want to do?

Do you want to go home, or do you want
to take another crack at Hollywood?

- Well, I'd-
- With a nice, fat letter to Lubitsch.

I'd sort of like to go where you go.

I mean, I'd sort of hoped that you'd-

Well, I mean, that you'd want us
to go on together a little longer...

now that we kind of
got used to each other.

Of course I would, if I wasn't married.

- Who's married?
- Well, didn't you know that?

- I thought everyone had heard of my misfortune.
- Of course I didn't.

What do you mean, “Of course I didn't,”
as if I'd snatched you away...

- from your loving grandmother or something?
- Are you in love with her?

- That vulture?
- Then why did you marry her?

- Income tax.
- Income tax?

It was supposed to save me
$24,000 a year.

It's what's called a joint return.
It's a California law.

Each one pays half, and the total's less
than the aggregate surtax...

or the surtax is less
than the something or other.

It was an idea
of my business manager's.

- Well, I think it's disgusting.
- It wasn't supposed to be romantic.

It was supposed to save me
$12,000 a year.

- [ Scoffs ]
- But it didn't.

- Turned out she couldn't live on 12,000 a year.
- Good.

- Lovely. She had to have 24,000 to live on.
- Good.

Don't keep saying “good” all the time,
or I'll poke you in the nose.

- Good.
- Now listen.

So I demanded the divorce
she'd promised me.

And she told you to go fry an egg.

She said it would break
her mother's heart.

Some fine advice
your business manager gave you.

Yeah, I found out why.
He was getting half.

And you really can't get a divorce ever?

Never. You can't get a divorce without
collusion, and she won't collude.

Well, I guess I ought to go home then.

You could still have
that letter to Lubitsch.

Could I still come
and push you in the pool sometimes?

- Of course you could.
- [ Sniffles ]

I guess that's better than nothing.

There, there, there. My gracious.

Here are the five-dollar bills,
Mr. Sullivan.

Hello, Johnnie.

- And get me two tickets on the midnight plane.
- Two tickets?

[ Chuckling ] Oh, two tickets.
Oh, yes indeed, Mr. Sullivan.

- They're pretty, aren't they?
- Uh-huh.

- You want one?
- Yes.

Here. You can have two of them.

[ No Audible Dialogue]

- [ Train Whistle Blowing In Distance ]
- [ Bell Clanging ]

[ Clanging Continues ]

[Train Engine Chugging ]

[ Train Whistle Blowing ]

[ Chugging Continues ]

[ Bell Clanging ]

[Whistle Blows ]

[ Horn Blowing ]

[ Horn Continues ]

[ Horn Continues ]

[ Horn Continues ]

[Sighs]

Did you cancel the plane tickets?

They canceled themselves.
I'm gonna give him just 15 minutes more.

- And then-
- I'm sure he's all right.

He probably just got interested
in a revival meeting or something and-

[ Phone Rings ]

Hello? Yes, Doc.

Not in the hospitals, huh?

Sure. I guess that's all you can do.

- Anyway, he didn't have an accident.
- [ Phone Rings]

Hello?

He isn't, huh?

Val has covered the police stations.

- Okay.
- I guess you can come back now. So long.

I should have gone with him.
I knew he'd get into trouble without me.

- I told him-
- I'm gonna give him just 12 minutes more.

Then I'm gonna lay it in LeBrand's lap
and let him figure it out.

Sully will be awful sore
if you raise a big holler-

Let him be sore!
I got a job too, you know.

- If LeBrand ever found out-
- He came back the last time.

He didn't have reservations
on the plane or people waiting for him.

- You don't know him like I know him.
- Is that so?

- I guess I know him better than-
- [ Rings ]

Yeah?

Say, I'm down here to the morgue.

They got a guy in a basket.
You can't tell who he is.

Did the boss have any
idem-identification?

Did he have any identification
that you know of?

Well, he had- I think he said he had-

- Who's that? Have they found him?
- Take it easy, will you?

We got to check everywhere.
What identification did he have?

In the soles of his shoes.

I think there was a-
a card between the soles of his shoes.

Look in the soles of his shoes,
between the leather.

He's coming now.
I can hear his footsteps.

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

There's a card here. It's kind of
hard to read. It's all splattered.

[ No Audible Dialogue]

- He's dead? What do you mean he's dead?
- What do you think it means?

What do you send him
on jobs like this for?

- I've got a mind to sue you.
- You think I like it better than you?

Matter of fact, I will sue you.
I'll teach you to-

Operator? Operator,
I was talking with Kansas City.

- Going to sue me.
- Ha.

I suppose I ought to fire
the whole bunch of you.

Somehow I don't feel like firing anybody.

Well, there's no use
you hanging around here!

Get your things together
and leave this afternoon! I'll fly back.

Yes, sir. Uh-

[ Knocking ]

[ Knocking ]

I'd like you to come with us, my dear.

Jones has explained to me.

You were his last discovery...

his last gift to the world.

We'll take care of you always.

She didn't hear you.

[ Bell Clanging ]

[ Clanging Continues ]

[ Train Whistle Blowing ]

[ Bell Clanging ]

[ Brakes Screeching ]

[ Steam Hissing ]

[ Groans ]

- What's the idea of riding into the yards, bo?
- Huh?

I said, what's the idea of
riding into the freight yard?

- Oh, lay off, will you?
- I got a good mind to run you in for trespass.

Oh, shut up, you dumb cluck.
Can't you see I'm sick?

Go on, get out of here, you dirty rat!

Go on! Go on!

- Don't do that again.
- That's tellin' him, be.

Don't do what again?

Come on. Come on, get going.

[ Groans ]

[ Man ] Trespass, resisting arrest...

atrocious assault and battery
with intent to kill.

Huh? What? What did he say?

We object, Your Honor. My client had
been injured and denies all knowledge.

- Objection overruled.
- Trespass and resisting arrest.

Objection, Your Honor. The man was a
railroad employee, not an officer of the law.

- [Judge ] Sustained.
- Trespass and atrocious assault.

- Objection, Your Honor.
- Objection overruled.

Get down to business.
Prisoner at the bar.

- [ Gavel Raps ]
- Prisoner at the bar.

- Answer when you're spoken to.
- Huh?

- [Judge] Do you plead guilty or not guilty?
- Huh?

Guilty or not guilty to trespass,
atrocious assault with a rock...

upon the person of the employee
of the railroad?

I guess I hit him, all right...

the way my hand feels.

I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you.

I'll... pay any damages you like.

- Sorry.
- So you still refuse to give your name?

It'll come back to me in a minute.

I... have such an awful headache.

I-I'm all mixed up.

We plead guilty, Your Honor, with extenuating
circumstances due to temporary insanity...

and throw ourselves
on the mercy of the court.

Huh? What? What did he say?

Stand up. Stand up!

Stand up!

Prisoner at the bar,
these are parlous times...

and we have no desire to be severe.

- Now just a minute. I-
- Silence!

When confronted with violence and
hoodlumism, the court has no alternative.

Since you still refuse
to remember your name...

but have pleaded guilty
to trespass and atrocious assault...

I will be as lenient
as my conscience permits...

and will not impose upon you the maximum
penalty that your crimes ordinarily permit.

Richard Roe, I sentence you
to six years of hard labor...

- as prescribed by the laws of our sovereign state.
- [ Gavel Raps ]

Six years? What's he talking about?

- You got off easy.
- Now wait a minute.

I gotta get to a phone.
I have to send a-

- Come on, come on.
- Wait a minute. I'm all mixed up here. I-

Come on, come on.

[ Horn Honking ]

[ Dogs Barking ]

Mister, new man.

- Hello, Charlie.
- Hi, Jake.

- Put him in 13.
- Just a minute, boys. I want-

You speak when you're
spoken to around here.

- If you want anything, hold up your arm and wait.
- Listen, you-

You say “mister”
when you're talking to me!

- Put him in 13 and find him a bunk.
- Come on.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Them cost me 16.50.

Another Richard Roe, eh?

There seems to be a lot of them.

- How's everything up at the house, Charlie?
- Fine, Jake.

- Give my regards to the missus.
- I'll do that little thing.

- I gotta get out of here.
- Take it easy, boy.

Listen. I'm John L. Sullivan,
a Hollywood director.

Somebody slugged me.
I gotta get out of here.

- A Hollywood what?
- [ Laughter]

Take it easy, will you?
You're gonna lose your privilege.

No letters, no smokes, no writing.

[ Stammering ] You don't want that.

Listen. I want a lawyer.
You get me to a telephone.

There's a telephone right down there.

Can't do things like this to people.
Put 'em in a pigsty!

Pipe down, will you, please,
before he hears.

I want a lawyer.
I demand my right to have a lawyer!

- Did you hear that? He demands a lawyer.
- [ Laughter]

You startin' in again?

You're gonna be here a long time, see?

And you gotta learn and learn quick.

[ Blackjack Thuds ]

[Jake] Chain him in.

No privilege. Fresh guy.

[ Lock Clicks ]

[ Tools Clattering ]

We're going to the picture show Sunday.

It's good news.
You want to see the picture show Sunday?

We're- We're going to the picture show.

We're going to the picture show Sunday.
They asked us over again.

- When can I write a letter?
- When you get your privilege back.

- How long will that take?
- Oh, that all depends on the mister.

He's all right if you take it
nice and quiet.

How long does it take him
to make up his mind?

Take it easy, will you,
or you'll never get it.

- [ Clattering Continues ]
- [ Man ] Look out.

Who gave you leave to read the paper?

- You won't learn, huh?
- It's about me. I just happened to see it.

Shut up! Turn around. Turn around!

Put your hands behind you.

- [ Handcuffs Click]
- Put him in the sweatbox.

- For how long, mister?
- Till I tell you to let him out.

- Are you gonna start now?
- No, sir. Yes, sir. I mean no, sir.

Well, then get movin'!

Get back to your work!
What do you think this is, a vaudeville show?

[ Panting ]

Tastes good, don't it?

I'll try to get him to let you off early.

I ain't supposed to do this.

- [ Frogs Croaking ]
- [ Dogs Barking ]

Hey- Water.

You'll be all right.
You gotta learn. That's all.

It ain't so easy at first,
but after a while you don't mind.

- We ain't so bad off.
- [ Mumbling ]

He ain't bad according to his lights.

Has to deal with some
pretty tough hombres.

Got us chicken last Thanksgiving...

and some turkey once for Christmas.

And there ain't another mister
takes his gang to the picture show.

Maybe- Maybe if I ask him, he'll let you
go to the picture show Sunday.

Now wouldn't that be somethin'?
Huh? Huh?

♪♪ [ Organ: Hymn]

All right, Charlie.

- Let it down easy, Charlie.
- [ Laughter]

- Charlie's a little anxious.
- [ Laughter Continues ]

Well, brothers and sisters, once again
we're gonna have a little entertainment.

I guess I don't have to tell you what it is.
The sheet kinda gives it away.

[ Laughter]

And once again, brothers and sisters...

we're gonna share our pleasure with some
neighbors less fortunate than ourselves.

Won't you please clear the first three pews
so they may have seats?

And when they get here,
I'm gonna ask you once more-

neither by word
nor by action nor by look...

to make our guests feel unwelcome...

nor draw away from them
or act high-toned.

For we is all equal in the sight of God.

[ Congregation ] Amen.

And he said, “Let him who is
without sin cast the first stone.”

[Assenting ]

And the chains shall be
struck from them.

And the lame shall leap.

And the blind shall see!

And glory in the coming of the Lord!

- Yes!
- That's right.

Now let's give our guests
a little welcome.

♪♪ [ Intro ]

♪ When Israel was in Egypt land ♪

[With Congregation ]
♪ Let my people go ♪

♪ Oppressed so hard ♪

♪ They could not stand ♪

[With Congregation ]
♪ Let my people go ♪

♪ Go down ♪

♪ Moses ♪

♪ Way down ♪

♪ In Egypt land ♪

- [Chains Clanking ]
- ♪ Tell old ♪

♪ Pharaoh ♪

♪ To let ♪

♪ My people ♪

♪ Go ♪

[ Preacher] ♪ Then Israel ♪

♪ Out of Egypt came ♪

[With Congregation ]
♪ Let my people go ♪

[ Preacher] ♪ And left the proud ♪

♪ Oppressor's land ♪

[With Congregation ]
♪ Let my people go ♪

♪ Go down ♪

♪ Moses ♪

♪ Way down ♪

♪ In Egypt land ♪

♪ Tell old ♪

♪ Pharaoh ♪

♪ To let my people ♪

♪ Go ♪♪

Will those nearest the lights
kindly rise and dim them, please?

How do?

[ Projector Whirring ]

♪ ♪ [ Upbeat]

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughter Continues ]

[ Loud Laughter]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

- Say--
- Huh?

- Am I laughing?
- What? [ Laughs ]

- ♪♪ [ Organ Continues, Fades ]
- [ Laughter Continues, Fades ]

[ Pigeons Cooing ]

You don't suppose this is a gag, do you?

He'd have to be a Houdini
to get out of that one.

Well, I wouldn't put it past him.

[ Sullivan ] Don't you understand?

They think I'm dead, but I'm not dead.

Well, that's fine.

Just think what a nice surprise
they'll have when you get out.

I haven't time to spend six years.

But you were sentenced.

I know that, but I still haven't time.

Well, you'll have to find the time.

Look, they don't sentence
picture directors to a place like this...

- for a little disagreement with a yard bull.
- Don't they?

- No.
- Oh.

- Well, maybe you ain't a picture director.
- Huh?

Maybe that idea just come to you
when you got hit on the head. Maybe.

- Now look-
- We used to have a fella here once...

that thought he was Lindbergh.

He used to fly away every night...

but he was always back in the morning.

Well, don't I look like
a picture director?

Of course, I never seen one.

To me you look kinda
more like a soda jerk...

or maybe a plasterer maybe.

But-

- If ever a plot needed a twist, this one does.
- Huh?

I gotta get my picture in the paper.

Oh, that would be swell.
Then you could paste it over your bunk-

What kind of people get
their pictures in the paper?

Ballplayers?

Girls? They take them with their legs
crossed. I cut one out once.

She had-
She was sitting- No?

Well, when you die,
if you was important enough-

I've had that.

- Murderers?
- [ Chuckles ]

There was a swell picture
of a friend of mine.

He was a lodge brother.

They called him the Blowtorch Killer.

That's it.

That's it. You tell the mister
I'm ready to make a full confession.

- Now wait a minute.
- Come on.

- Now take it easy.
- There isn't a moment to lose.

- Now look-
- My conscience has got me.

- You're gonna get yourself in trouble.
- I want to confess...

to the murder of John L. Sullivan.

- You're gonna get yourself in trouble.
- I killed John L. Sullivan!

- Wait a minute, will you? You're gonna
get yourself- - I murdered John L. Sullivan!

- I'm telling you. You're doing the wrong thing.
- I'm a murderer!

- Will you listen to me before somebody-
- I killed John L. Sullivan!

Come back here. Don't you understand-

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ No Audible Dialogue]

[ Reporters Clamoring ]

- I'm so happy.
- So am I!

- I said I'm so happy.
- What?

Your wife got married last week.

Who got married last week?

She got married last week.

My wife? You say they buried her?

No, she got married.
She married your business manager.

- She married him?
- Yes!

- He married her?
- Yes!

- But how?
- Because you were dead.

- Dead?
- Dead!

[All Chattering ]

...even get a word in edgeways.

- Do you suppose she'll give you a divorce?
- Give it to me?

She'll beg me for it.
She's got to give me a divorce.

Otherwise it's bigamy, unfaithfulness,
alienation of affections, corpus delicti.

- [ All Chattering ]
- ...run such risks!

- And then you'll be free.
- And then I'll be free.

But not for long, I hope.

...in every city over 10,000!

Just a moment, gentlemen!

Sully, I want to tell you that
O Brother, Where Art Thou?...

is going to be
the greatest tragedy ever made.

- Well, I-
- The world will weep. Humanity will sob.

It'll put Shakespeare back
with the shipping news.

Quiet!
Your personal courage, your sacrifice...

the lengths to which you went to sample
the bitter dregs of vicissitude...

will make O Brother, Where art Thou?
positively the undisputed-

- I'm sorry to disappoint you.
- You're sorry to disappoint me?

Yes, and I say it
with some embarrassment...

but I don't want to make
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

You don't want to make
O Brother, Where Art Thou?

No, and I say it with some embarrassment.
I want to make a comedy.

You say it with some embarrassment?

He doesn't want to make O Brother,
Where Art Thou? He wants to make a comedy.

He don't mean that, boss.
He's still a little stir-crazy.

- Oh, yes, I do. Oh, no, I'm not.
- You're joking, aren't you, Sully?

- It's in bad taste, but it's a joke?
- No.

But it's had more publicity
than the Johnstown Flood.

- What are we gonna do with all that publicity?
- Oh, brother.

Why don't you want to make
O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Sully?

In the first place, I'm too happy to
make O Brother, Where Art Thou?

In the second place, I haven't suffered enough
to make O Brother, Where Art Thou?

You haven't suffered enough?

- He hasn't suffered enough?
- No.

- But, Sully-
- And I'll tell you something else.

There's a lot to be said
for making people laugh.

Did you know
that's all some people have?

It isn't much, but it's better than nothing
in this cockeyed caravan.

Boy.

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughter Continues ]