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1
01:05:13,006 --> 01:05:14,667
Freakazoid.
2
01:05:16,143 --> 01:05:18,737
All right, Steff, what poor guy
you tormenting tonight?
3
01:05:18,912 --> 01:05:21,472
I am...
4
01:05:21,648 --> 01:05:24,515
Ah, ah, ah...
5
01:05:27,854 --> 01:05:31,688
The Booger Beast.
6
01:05:32,893 --> 01:05:35,191
Right. I quit, you win.
7
01:05:35,362 --> 01:05:36,522
Kleenex.
8
01:05:36,697 --> 01:05:39,359
My hero.
9
01:07:04,418 --> 01:07:06,477
Hello? Anybody here?
10
01:07:11,324 --> 01:07:13,258
Hmm...
11
01:07:44,558 --> 01:07:47,083
Good day, I'm H.A. Futterman...
12
01:07:47,260 --> 01:07:51,060
...professor of broadcast standards
here at Kids' WB...
13
01:07:51,231 --> 01:07:53,859
...and you've just witnessed
Relax-O-Vision.
14
01:07:54,034 --> 01:07:55,661
Relax-O-Vision is a...
15
01:07:57,738 --> 01:07:59,729
Relax-O-Vision is a process...
16
01:07:59,906 --> 01:08:03,501
...that inserts calming,
mirthful images into scenes...
17
01:08:03,677 --> 01:08:07,135
...that might be too intense
for the kiddos watching at home.
18
01:08:07,314 --> 01:08:11,808
For example, Freakazoid's extremely...
19
01:08:12,285 --> 01:08:16,415
Freakazoid's extremely violent brawl
with the demon ninjas...
20
01:08:16,590 --> 01:08:19,684
...was replaced
by a soothing scene of fishies...
21
01:08:19,860 --> 01:08:22,727
...as they think
their happy, little, pleasant thoughts.
22
01:08:22,896 --> 01:08:25,490
Now, settle back...
23
01:08:25,999 --> 01:08:29,662
Now, settle back and get ready
to enjoy the first cartoon...
24
01:08:29,836 --> 01:08:34,000
...ever broadcast in calming,
safe, kid-friendly...
25
01:08:34,174 --> 01:08:36,005
...Relax-O-Vision.
26
01:09:05,438 --> 01:09:07,668
Thanks.
27
01:09:10,544 --> 01:09:13,877
Wow! That makes over $200.
28
01:09:14,047 --> 01:09:16,038
Can we please take a break?
My lips are numb.
29
01:09:16,216 --> 01:09:19,777
- Mm, okay.
- Stay puckered, girls.
30
01:09:19,953 --> 01:09:21,818
Be back in 15 minutes.
31
01:09:23,890 --> 01:09:27,053
Thanks for helping the school
raise all this money, Freakazoid.
32
01:09:27,227 --> 01:09:28,888
It's awfully sweet of you.
33
01:09:29,062 --> 01:09:31,622
Just doing my part, Steff.
34
01:09:31,798 --> 01:09:34,699
Look how she fawns over Freakazoid.
35
01:09:34,868 --> 01:09:38,201
She's the perfect bait
to lead him to his doom.
36
01:09:38,371 --> 01:09:41,807
Hey, mister, can I have a balloon animal?
37
01:09:43,243 --> 01:09:45,473
Here. Diprotodon optatum.
38
01:09:45,645 --> 01:09:51,413
An extinct, giant, burrowing marsupial
once common to ancient Australia.
39
01:09:51,585 --> 01:09:54,782
I wanted a ducky.
40
01:09:55,355 --> 01:09:56,913
There.
- Thanks.
41
01:09:59,292 --> 01:10:01,283
Hey, you want a frozen banana?
42
01:10:01,461 --> 01:10:03,088
Okay.
43
01:10:03,697 --> 01:10:05,096
Two.
44
01:10:05,932 --> 01:10:08,457
Greetings, Miss Stephanie.
45
01:10:08,635 --> 01:10:09,693
Huh?
46
01:10:09,870 --> 01:10:11,735
Hey, I know you.
47
01:10:11,905 --> 01:10:13,964
You're that potato-head guy.
48
01:10:14,140 --> 01:10:15,835
No, stay away.
49
01:10:16,009 --> 01:10:18,671
No, no! Aah!
50
01:10:27,687 --> 01:10:30,349
Steff, where are you?
51
01:10:32,692 --> 01:10:35,320
What's all the screaming about?
52
01:10:36,096 --> 01:10:38,792
Oh, now I get it.
53
01:10:52,112 --> 01:10:56,913
"Dear, Freakazoid, if you're still alive
to read this, I am holding Stephanush...
54
01:10:57,083 --> 01:11:00,018
Stephanie prisoner at the Smithsonian.
55
01:11:00,186 --> 01:11:02,814
Come get her if you dare. " Hmm...
56
01:11:03,690 --> 01:11:07,649
Hey, Freakazoid, I've got
a 2-for-1 coupon for the mud baths.
57
01:11:07,827 --> 01:11:09,988
- You interested?
- Am I?
58
01:11:16,469 --> 01:11:18,266
Ahh...
59
01:11:18,438 --> 01:11:20,599
You know that note
you got from The Lobe?
60
01:11:20,774 --> 01:11:23,436
It could be a clue
about where he's holding Steff.
61
01:11:23,610 --> 01:11:26,443
By golly, Cosgrove, you're right!
62
01:11:26,613 --> 01:11:28,240
Where's my towel?
63
01:11:28,415 --> 01:11:31,509
Ah, no time for that now. I'm off.
64
01:11:42,562 --> 01:11:44,996
Attention, Freakazoid.
65
01:11:45,165 --> 01:11:46,723
This is The Lobe...
66
01:11:46,900 --> 01:11:49,596
...using your girlfriend...
- Aah!
67
01:11:49,769 --> 01:11:50,997
Sorry.
68
01:11:51,171 --> 01:11:53,071
Using your girlfriend as bait...
69
01:11:53,239 --> 01:11:59,144
...your greatest enemies and I
have lured you to your doom.
70
01:11:59,312 --> 01:12:04,944
Oh! Oh, listen to the bighead man
say angry things.
71
01:12:18,231 --> 01:12:19,721
Ol�!
72
01:13:03,743 --> 01:13:05,438
Ha!
73
01:13:16,623 --> 01:13:18,614
Adi�s, Freak-boy.
74
01:13:37,510 --> 01:13:40,673
Anybody for loose-meat sandwiches?
75
01:13:46,753 --> 01:13:51,190
So sweet of you to swing by, Freakazoid.
76
01:13:51,357 --> 01:13:54,690
As a personal favor, please don't have
your snake squeeze me, okay?
77
01:13:56,696 --> 01:13:58,186
Swallow him.
78
01:14:13,113 --> 01:14:15,104
Thought I'd never get out of there.
79
01:14:17,750 --> 01:14:18,774
Uh-oh.
80
01:14:18,952 --> 01:14:21,648
Now it's our turn.
81
01:14:24,958 --> 01:14:26,516
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
82
01:14:33,700 --> 01:14:37,431
I probably blew the animation budget
for the whole season on that one fight.
83
01:14:38,805 --> 01:14:42,206
You may have defeated my allies,
Freakazoid...
84
01:14:42,375 --> 01:14:44,434
...but you'll never save the girl.
85
01:14:58,191 --> 01:15:00,125
What? No.
86
01:15:00,293 --> 01:15:04,457
No!
87
01:15:14,307 --> 01:15:17,435
It's nice, but my favorites are still
sparklers and those little pellets...
88
01:15:17,610 --> 01:15:20,602
...that turn into the crinkly, snake thingies
when you burn them.
89
01:15:23,183 --> 01:15:25,913
This is my most humiliating defeat.
90
01:15:26,085 --> 01:15:29,077
My hero.
91
01:15:31,357 --> 01:15:34,485
Wait, wait. Hey, hold it, enough.
92
01:15:34,661 --> 01:15:38,427
Hey, pal, I've had just about enough
of this Relax-O-Vision thing.
93
01:15:38,598 --> 01:15:42,034
Oh, yeah?
What are you gonna do about it?
94
01:15:49,542 --> 01:15:50,566
Hey.
95
01:15:53,279 --> 01:15:55,975
And now something very special.
96
01:16:15,868 --> 01:16:17,631
Hi, lard boy.
97
01:16:17,804 --> 01:16:19,704
Having a sweet bun, lard boy?
98
01:16:19,872 --> 01:16:22,705
My name's not lard boy, it's Louis.
99
01:16:22,875 --> 01:16:24,467
Yeah, Louis. Ha, ha.
100
01:16:24,644 --> 01:16:26,441
Louis the Lard Boy. Ha.
101
01:16:26,613 --> 01:16:28,205
Leave me alone, will you?
102
01:16:28,381 --> 01:16:32,044
Oh, sure, we'll leave you alone just as soon
as you give us your lunch money.
103
01:16:32,218 --> 01:16:33,242
Yeah.
104
01:16:33,419 --> 01:16:34,613
Why should I?
105
01:16:34,787 --> 01:16:35,981
Because you don't need it.
106
01:16:36,155 --> 01:16:39,249
- What you need is a diet.
- Ha, ha.
107
01:16:39,425 --> 01:16:42,155
Hold it right there, you little dirtbags.
108
01:16:46,666 --> 01:16:49,396
- Aah. Fatman.
- And Boy Blubber.
109
01:16:49,869 --> 01:16:51,962
Run for it.
110
01:16:52,138 --> 01:16:53,765
After them, Boy Blubber.
111
01:17:15,995 --> 01:17:17,895
They won't be back.
112
01:17:24,270 --> 01:17:28,730
I got a stitch in my side
and I've lost my freshness.
113
01:17:31,978 --> 01:17:36,039
If either of you ever again
ridicule an overweight person...
114
01:17:36,215 --> 01:17:38,706
...I will personally sit on you.
115
01:17:46,159 --> 01:17:48,650
Are you okay, Louis?
116
01:17:48,828 --> 01:17:51,126
I am now, Fatman. Thanks.
117
01:17:54,300 --> 01:17:59,328
You know, Louie, Blubber Boy and I
know what it's like to be overweight.
118
01:17:59,505 --> 01:18:02,565
In fact, we're always on a diet.
119
01:18:02,742 --> 01:18:07,805
We, like you, try to exercise,
eat sensible food, cut down on fat...
120
01:18:07,980 --> 01:18:10,744
...but it's still tough fighting
the battle of the bulge.
121
01:18:11,851 --> 01:18:14,820
You know, Louie,
we're on the road a lot...
122
01:18:14,987 --> 01:18:16,716
...and sometimes we miss meals...
123
01:18:16,889 --> 01:18:19,687
...and we end up eating fast food
and snacks...
124
01:18:19,859 --> 01:18:23,317
...as we speed off
to defend our fellow overweight friends...
125
01:18:23,496 --> 01:18:26,659
...from the torment and taunting
of twisted villains...
126
01:18:26,833 --> 01:18:30,428
...like those two hoodlums
you just faced.
127
01:18:34,273 --> 01:18:35,501
Your point is?
128
01:18:40,113 --> 01:18:41,705
My point, Louie?
129
01:18:43,549 --> 01:18:44,846
My point?
130
01:18:45,017 --> 01:18:49,545
My point is, do you have another delicious
and yummy sweet bun in there?
131
01:18:49,722 --> 01:18:50,746
Hey, let go.
132
01:18:50,923 --> 01:18:53,255
Come on, Louie, let me just check.
133
01:18:53,426 --> 01:18:56,122
No, that's my lunch. Unh! Unh!
134
01:18:56,963 --> 01:18:59,022
Louis, it's just a sweet bun.
135
01:18:59,198 --> 01:19:00,290
Knock it off.
136
01:19:00,466 --> 01:19:03,026
Louis, give me that sweet bun.
137
01:19:03,202 --> 01:19:04,294
No.
138
01:19:05,171 --> 01:19:08,629
Oof!
- Boy Blubber, a little help here, please.
139
01:19:35,067 --> 01:19:38,696
And now, from cyberspace,
the star of our show...
140
01:19:38,871 --> 01:19:40,862
...Freakazoid.
141
01:20:02,195 --> 01:20:03,856
- Excuse me.
- Bueghh?
142
01:20:04,030 --> 01:20:06,225
Are you Mr. Freakazoid?
143
01:20:06,399 --> 01:20:08,993
- Yes.
- We're the Idiotic Police.
144
01:20:09,168 --> 01:20:12,228
And we place you under arrest
for being totally idiotic.
145
01:20:12,405 --> 01:20:14,839
Who, me? Hey!
146
01:20:19,412 --> 01:20:23,075
How does the defendant plead
on the count of being idiotic?
147
01:20:23,249 --> 01:20:24,273
Guilty as charged.
148
01:20:24,450 --> 01:20:27,908
- Now will someone please call me a lawyer?
- Okay, you're a lawyer.
149
01:20:28,087 --> 01:20:29,748
Thank you.
150
01:20:30,923 --> 01:20:34,086
I'll sentence you
to either 30 days in county jail...
151
01:20:34,260 --> 01:20:38,754
...or 30 minutes listening to Fan Boy.
152
01:20:39,899 --> 01:20:42,959
Wow, Freakazoid. Cool.
153
01:20:43,135 --> 01:20:45,933
Hey, I was just talking
to Harlan on the Internet...
154
01:20:46,105 --> 01:20:48,767
...and I told him I hadn't seen
a good cyberspace scene...
155
01:20:48,941 --> 01:20:50,932
...like this one since Tron.
156
01:20:51,110 --> 01:20:56,844
Which is not the film that broke the bank
at Disney in 1983, as some believe.
157
01:20:57,016 --> 01:21:03,387
No. Tron came out in '82, three years
after Disney's The Black Hole...
158
01:21:03,556 --> 01:21:06,457
...which was movieland's equivalent
to the Hindenburg.
159
01:21:06,626 --> 01:21:08,184
What a disaster.
160
01:21:08,361 --> 01:21:09,487
And the robots?
161
01:21:09,662 --> 01:21:13,564
They made R2-D2
look like Laurence Olivier.
162
01:21:13,733 --> 01:21:15,724
Lock me up and throw away the key.
163
01:21:17,036 --> 01:21:19,561
Ahh...
164
01:21:27,246 --> 01:21:29,476
Sweet peace.
165
01:21:29,649 --> 01:21:32,482
So anyway, back to 1983 at Disney...
166
01:21:32,652 --> 01:21:35,746
...their big film that bombed
in '83 wasn't Tron.
167
01:21:35,922 --> 01:21:38,516
It was
Something Wicked This Way Comes...
168
01:21:38,691 --> 01:21:40,625
...which is actually pretty fun.
169
01:21:40,793 --> 01:21:44,593
But it comes across too soft,
and it lost a fortune.
170
01:21:44,764 --> 01:21:49,497
Anyway, that brought about the arrival
of Eisner and Katzenberg.
171
01:21:49,669 --> 01:21:53,765
- And slowly but surely...
- Summon the Huntsman, please.
172
01:23:43,015 --> 01:23:44,880
Ahh. Huh?
173
01:24:01,600 --> 01:24:03,090
What's up, Lieutenant King?
174
01:24:03,269 --> 01:24:05,931
The Lobe back in town? Cave Guy?
175
01:24:06,105 --> 01:24:07,732
Sorry, Huntsman, false alarm.
176
01:24:07,907 --> 01:24:10,535
Some dumb rookie was screwing around
with the Horn of Urgency.
177
01:24:10,710 --> 01:24:13,270
- I chewed him out real good.
- Darn.
178
01:24:13,446 --> 01:24:15,812
What can I say, Huntsman?
Crime is still down.
179
01:24:15,981 --> 01:24:17,505
I'm lucky to have a job.
180
01:24:17,683 --> 01:24:19,708
Darn the luck. Darn.
181
01:24:20,453 --> 01:24:23,616
Well, maybe I'll go
to the all-night aquarium.
182
01:24:23,789 --> 01:24:26,781
Mm. Aquariums are supposed
to be very relaxing.
183
01:24:26,959 --> 01:24:29,086
I like watching the pollyfish.
184
01:24:29,261 --> 01:24:31,786
They're so comical.
185
01:24:31,964 --> 01:24:33,397
Wanna go?
186
01:24:33,566 --> 01:24:35,227
No, I don't watch fish. I eat them.
187
01:24:35,401 --> 01:24:38,063
Page me if anything comes up.
188
01:24:38,237 --> 01:24:39,966
Fat chance, but thanks, anyway.
189
01:24:43,476 --> 01:24:45,876
Darn this slow period.
190
01:24:46,045 --> 01:24:48,639
Darn. Darn it.
191
01:24:49,248 --> 01:24:53,685
How's an active man supposed
to keep busy if no one cooperates?
192
01:24:53,853 --> 01:24:55,582
Darn.
193
01:24:55,755 --> 01:24:57,017
My heavens.
194
01:24:57,189 --> 01:25:01,125
What if they've hired another hero
behind my back?
195
01:25:50,142 --> 01:25:52,804
And now, a shot of the busy freeway.
14247
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