All language subtitles for The.Mentalist.S04E21.1080p.WEBRip.x265-KONTRAST

i could see the glow
from around the corner.

i thought
the whole alley was on fire.

what were you doing out here?

delivering pizzas.

i like to use this alley
as a shortcut.

and did you see anybody
when you were out?

no, just, uh, you know,
the guy in the car,

and--and i didn't even see him
at first. too much smoke.

was he still alive?

i don't think so, no.

i mean, how could he be,
handcuffed inside a burning car?

who is he, anyway?

we're still working on that.

poor bastard. burned alive?
that's no way to to go.

oh, hey, cho.
scared the hell out of me.

i just found these.

that's very careless
of someone...

or perhaps careful.

what'd you find?

not sure yet.

cover me.

***

why do i have to
go up first?

'cause you are
always first.

girl! just 'cause i'm
the only one that shows up...

***

- oh!
- uh... we'll be out soon.

oh, we're not here
for what you're here for.

does this belong to anyone?

i guess it's true
what they say--

"time wounds all heels."
these are my favorite.

i'm agent lisbon with the cbi.
what's your name?

glennda snow.
i'm the emcee of our troupe.

we do a cabaret.

we found your heel
in the alleyway,

along with a dead man.

he'd been set on fire.

oh, we heard the sirens outside,
but we had no idea.

what were you doing
in the alley?

enjoying an ultra slim.

i always smoke a cigarette
before the first show.

and what time were you
out there?

i don't know exactly. 8:30?

the arson investigator
says the fire was set

sometime
between 8:45 and 9:00.

oh, well, glennda was with us
by then.

yeah, that's right.

she helped me
into my compression garments.

i was. who died? who was it?

we don't know.
two minutes to curtain, girls.

whoo!

if you'll excuse me,
the stage is calling.

hang on a minute. did you see
anybody in the alley?

as a matter of fact,
there was a man

in a parked car,
watching me.

what did he look like?

i couldn't see his face.

it was dark,
but i felt vulnerable,

so i hightailed it back
into the club,

and that's when i felt
my heel break.

why didn't you pick up
your heel?

in this dress, darling?

time to welcome

the sacramento princess
you're dying to possess--

the delectable glennda snow!

***

i think he's telling
the truth.

i don't know.

the other drag queens could
have been covering for him.

well, i find it unlikely

that a man in heels, sequins,
and, uh, an elaborate hairstyle

would subdue and handcuff
another man

and then set him on fire.

oh, no.

oh, please don't. please.

then again,
he's very forceful.

oh, and extremely limber.

***

car was registered
to archie bloom.

local boy, 19 years old.

forensics requested
dental records

to confirm
he's the victim.

have we contacted
the parents?

sacramento p.d. spoke
with his father last night--

archie bloom sr.

he's a local superintendent
of schools.

uh, well, what do we know
about the cause of death?

nothing till the autopsy,
but the coroner found no cause

to contradict the theory that
he was burned alive.

then that's
how we'll proceed.

what was the victim doing
in that alley?

we don't know.

uh, the fire was set outside
a drag queen venue,

but there's
a dozen businesses

that open up
onto that alley.

archie could have been tied
to any one of 'em.

sac p.d. wants to help
on this one.

i'll ask them to show
the victim's photo around.

one thing i do know
is we've got

a lot of fingerprints
to work with--

on the car, on the gas can.

they even found a partial
on the handcuffs.

i checked the bar code
on one of those gas cans.

it came
from a local discount store--

bargain emporium.

you and rigsby go
and check it out.

all right.
okay.

i want you and jane to go
talk to archie sr.

he's gonna want to believe
his son's alive.

careful not to build up
his hope.

all right.

he's dead, isn't he?

i know he's dead.

it was his car, right?

we're still waiting
for a positive i.d.

but you're moving forward
on the premise that it was him,

am i right?

yes.

thank you.

you don't seem surprised.

i'm not.

m-my son was a victim
his whole life.

never a murder victim.

no, but it was
my deepest fear...

that archie would get himself
into a dangerous situation.

he was a troublemaker?

exactly the opposite. he was
the target of troublemakers.

soft, i suppose you could say.

that's why it was so hard
asking him to move out.

archie hadn't been
living here?

we had a deal. i would
provide room and board

while he earned
a college degree,

but six months ago...

archie decided that college
wasn't his thing.

so you invited him to leave?

it was a teaching moment.

painful, but necessary.

how'd your wife feel
about that?

my wife died
when he was 6 years old.

it's been the archies
ever since.

the boy was nothing
like me.

why, because he's gay?

i don't...

was he?

is that what it says
in your files?

we don't keep files
on gay people.

i mean, it's okay
if he was.

i would never judge anyone
based on such criteria.

but if he was,

he--he never talked
to me about it.

i have to ask.
procedure and all.

where were you last night
at 8:45?

home alone. working.

i'm writing a book
on educational theory.

i'd like to take a look
at your son's bedroom,

if you don't mind.

down the hall
on your right.

how did you know
archie was gay?

well, archie sr. named his son
after himself, like a king.

he was hoping for an heir,

yet there's not one photo
of junior in the house.

you think
he's ashamed of him.

i mean,
well, look at this room.

traditional masculine decor.

bold nautical themes.

it's like a furniture catalog
threw up in here.

yes.

these are not the choices
of a teenager.

i think archie sr. personally
decorated this room

in the attempt
to butch-up his gay son.

should've seen
my room back home.

posters everywhere.

let me guess. hanson?

they wrote their own music.

ah. looks like archie did hang
something on the wall.

i'm guessing that was a photo
of him and his mother.

what's on his computer?

it's password-protected.

i'll have to take
the hard drive back to cbi

and run
some recovery software.

oh, okay. you do that.

thank you for coming.

the woman on the phone said

that you'd like me to help
with your investigation.

yes. we need to see
if your fingerprints match

the prints we found
at the crime scene.

oh, so i'm
a person of interest?

yeah, you are.

hmm.

can i ask you something?

do you always go out
like this?

in drag, i mean.

whenever i get dressed,
i try to consider

where i'm going,
who i'm going to see,

and how i can
blow them away.

let me escort you
to fingerprinting.

a police escort.
how could i refuse?

we keep the gas cans back here
on aisle 12.

yeah. here we go.

those are the ones.

what kind of crime were
they used in?

we can't go
into the details,

but maybe you can
help us out.

have you ever seen
this man in the store?

archie? i hope so.
he works here.

what did he do?

his car was found on fire
last night.

there was a body inside.

oh, no. well, was it--

we don't know yet.
how long did archie work here?

uh, a couple months, maybe.

do you know anyone
who wanted to hurt him?

yeah.

rick. total douche.

rick?
rick hughes.

he stocks shelves
and quotes "fight club."

he picks on archie
all the time.

last week, archie had
bruises all over.

he wouldn't tell me
what happened,

but i'll bet it was rick.

is rick here now?
in the loading bay.

all right.

you take it.
a couple more things.

rick hughes?

that's right.

let's talk about
archie bloom.

who are you, his bodyguard?

why would
archie need a bodyguard?

if you don't know...

cbi.

we have reason to believe
archie was murdered last night.

for real? how?

you tell me.

that's what this is about?

come on, man. i never laid
a finger on archie.

that's not what i heard.

you heard wrong.

are you trying to say
you never hassled archie?

i always hassled archie.

so what?

we worked together,
but i liked him, you know?

every time i'd come across
defective merchandise back here,

i'd give it to him
as a gift.

what'd you give him?

stuffed animals. an apron.

what?

this was archie's locker.

i take it he wasn't the one

who added the decorations.

no. that would be rick.
textbook homophobe.

my manager told him to stop,
but guys like that...

well, if it was so bad,
why didn't archie just quit?

he said it wasn't any different
at his last job.

he wanted to learn how
to handle it better.

i gotta go back
to the register.

shut the locker
when you're done.

sure. thank you.

rigsby.

hey, it's lisbon.
the dental records came back.

the body inside the car has been
confirmed as archie bloom.

oh, that's too bad.

his father gave us an address
where he was renting.

yeah, if you don't mind,
i'll get cho to check it out.

archie worked in the store here,
and i think i found a lead

that i want to run down
at the office.

okay.

looks like the whole roll
was taken.

call me as soon
as you process the film.

thank you.

u-um...

after you.

such a gentleman.

well, glennda's prints don't
match any of the prints

at the crime scene,

and i did background checks
on the drag queens.

none of them stand out.

oh, don't let them hear you
say that.

hey, you guys.

i found some videos
on archie's hard drive.

they're inside
a hidden partition.

looks like archie didn't want
prying eyes to see.

you found something?

can you play the files?

i think so.

nice guy.

so it seems.

okay. got it. uh...

most of these files look
like they were created

two or three years ago,
when archie was in high school.

no, i am done asking!

into your room.
aah.

sit. sit in that chair.
i said, "sit down!"

let go.
now you are gonna do
exactly as i tell you.

you put your left arm
on the chair.

aah. you're hurting me.

stop whining!

are you kidding? handcuffs?

just do it.
now you are gonna...
latest educational tool.

stop!
sit here all night long
until your homework is done.

maybe this will
toughen you up.

wait. pause the video.
those are hinged handcuffs,

just like the ones used
in the victim's murder.

i'm guessing this wasn't
the first daddy dearest routine.

archie had that camera
set up and recording

before they walked
into the room.

play it further.

somebody... help me.

the same make you used
to chain your son to his desk.

what are you talking
about?

archie secretly videotaped it.
we found it on his computer.

you don't understand
what you were watching.

enlighten us.

the relationship
between completed homework

and academic achievement
is statistically compelling.

with archie,
aggressive techniques

were necessary
to keep him motivated.

oh, you motivated him,
all right,

right out of college.

that was his failure,
not mine.

a dropout for a son doesn't look
good on the wikipedia page

of a wannabe educational giant,
does it?

is that why you killed him?

my own son?

because the cuffs happen
to look like mine?

we found your fingerprints
on 'em.

that's impossible.

unless...

i suppose that someone could
have stolen them from my office.

you're gonna take
that route?

i know how that sounds.

you know, you should consider
a lie detector test.

it'll clear all this up.

happily.

give me your hand.

excuse me?

you said, "happily."

okay, just a couple
of irrelevant questions

to establish a baseline.

what's your name?

archie bloom.
you love your son?

yes.

were you ashamed of him?

it's an irrelevant question.
i already know the answer.

the truth, please.

were you ashamed
of your son?

yes.

did you kill him?

no.

no, i didn't.

so do you think
he killed the victim?

he did, well, at least
he feels like he did.

hard to be certain.

guilt comes in many forms.

that's the best you can do?

for now.

mm.

wh-what?
are you wearing perfume?

right.

well, you've been standing
close to someone that is.

uh, that would be glennda.
she's very fragrant.

you just called glennda
"she."

so?

you didn't before.
i have to go.

where?

i just had a thoughtless impulse
or an inspired hunch.

i'm not sure which yet.
i'll let you know.

how ya doin'?

agent cho. cbi.

well, you're not here
to buy a book. who died?

archie bloom.

"something good will come
of all things yet."

how did archie die?

homicide.

his father gave us this address
as his last known residence.

my apartment's upstairs.

i rent out my spare room to help
cover my lease.

hard to remain
a viable literary watering hole

when the counterculture
is free online.

tell me about your relationship
with the victim.

sacramento is a place
of wide lawns and narrow minds.

archie came here
to nourish his soul.

when he mentioned
his father kicked him out,

i was only too happy
to rent him a room.

when was the last time
you saw him?

i haven't seen archie
in a week.

he cleared out
without leaving a note

or his last month's rent.

any idea why?

was he in trouble?

"i have nothing to offer anybody
but my own confusion."

kerouac.

no. kesey.
influenced by kerouac.

common mistake.

no. you.

you keep quoting kerouac,
an overrated bum.

i need you to answer
my questions in your own words.

where were you
last night at 8:45?

hey. we caught a break.

on the father?

on the co-worker.
rick hughes.

he's 22. he was seen harassing
archie bloom at work.

he's got two strikes
for larceny,

and check this out--
i found a disposable camera

in archie's locker
and had the film developed.

what was he stealing,
baby formula?

yeah, it's a staple
in retail theft gangs,

always in demand
and way overpriced.

trust me. i know.

if archie was taking
surveillance photos,

he must've been planning
on exposing hughes.

a third strike would put hughes
away for a long time.

well, that's a motive
for murder.

okay, bring him in,
but i'm gonna hold on

to the kid's dad
for as long as i can.

okay.

uh, sorry to interrupt.

the funeral director told me
i'd find you back here.

hello, glennda.

peeking behind the curtain.

careful you don't lose
your illusions.

well, it's a little late
for that...

let me tell you.

they prefer
i go by "glenn" here

and act like glenn.

a funeral cosmetologist.

well, that makes sense.

even a diva needs a day job.

i've always loved makeup,
but, uh, wearing it

wasn't an option
for a boy in sacramento,

so i chose a career
in death care.

what brings you
to my laboratory?

i wanted to know why you lied
to me about the crime scene.

and what makes you think
i lied?

well, i-i didn't at first.

uh, i cold-read you
as a man.

i thought
your theatrical mannerisms

were part of the character
you played.

i underestimated the extent
of your transformation.

3 hours of makeup
and a $4,000 dress

has that effect.

you become someone else.

you become... a woman.

mm, and women often act out
a part,

uh, in the midst of deceit.

they can be emotional or coy
or... seductive.

and i thought i had
gender issues.

this is your last chance.

i want the truth,
or i call my police friends,

and they'll lock you up.

glenn and glennda--
both be out of work.

what'd you see
in that alley?

a man holding a red gas can,
pouring it over a car.

was there anyone
inside the car?

i don't know. it was dark.

and what did this man
look like?

like i said, it was dark.

you're playing dumb again.

i am not playing.
i am scared.

i have been a target
my whole life.

i'm not gonna make myself
a target

for a killer.

did you know
that archie was on to you?

yeah.

when did he find out?

last week.
we were off-loading boxes,

and i heard something
by the dumpster.

i looked inside, and it was
the little princess.

and what was he doing?

dumpster diving.

okay. for what?

we throw away a lot
of junk--

you know, busted chairs,
old magazines, dead plants.

archie said something about
needing to furnish his new room.

and that's
when you assaulted him

so he wouldn't be able
to call the cops on you?

i'll tell you
the same thing

i told your cop buddy.

i never laid a finger
on archie!

although i did lock him
in that dumpster

for a couple of hours.

what?

where were you
at 8:45 last night?

in bed. i'm in bed
every night by that time.

i work the 4:00 a.m. shift.

so in other words,
you have no alibi.

no alibi,
and your prints were found

on the gas cans
at the murder scene...

hey, wait a minute now.

the gas cans that poured
accelerant onto the vehicle

in which archie bloom
was burned alive.

of course my fingerprints
were on those cans.

i personally stocked them
on the shelf!

or maybe you stole 'em,
like you stole this merchandise,

and you killed archie
to avoid a third strike

and a mandatory 25 years.

that's it! i want a lawyer!

hey! sit down!

you hear me?!
a little help!

i want a lawyer!

what do you think?

well, all cruelty stems
from weakness,

and this one's
a quivering mess--

emotionally immature,
aggressively masculine.

he harbors childhood pain

tied to bed-wetting
or some similar humiliation.

yeah, he could be
our killer, too.

you're not making
this easy.

hey, summer.

kimball, i need your help.

how fast can you make it
to glenbrook park?

it depends.
is something wrong?

yes! it's a matter
of life and death.

what's going on?
who's in danger?

the puppies!
there's this pet agency,

and--and--and, oh,
i-it's so sad,

a tragedy,
these, uh, poor animals.

i mean, we are so lucky
to have homes.

can we talk about
this later?

no! no, they're about
to pick up,

and i need to pick out
a puppy for you.

here.
can i have this one, please?

no, no. i don't--
i don't want a dog.

- ohh!
- but you will

when you see this pug.
no, i won't.

he's just like you, kimball.
he's all fierce on the outside

and, like, a softy
on the inside,

and he's got
this really squishy little face.

no, i gotta go. i gotta go.

whoa! wait. hey.
how about lunch?

i'm working a case.

oh, that's perfect.

we'll have something
to talk about.

no, i have to find out
where our victim was living.

i don't have time.

oh, come on, kimball.
you have to eat.

i'll spring for lunch.

you guys owe me
a paycheck anyways.

look, i gotta go.
i'll see you tonight.

uh, n-no dogs.

but i want one.

the victim's last known address
is 2 miles away.

as far as we know,
he has no friends,

and he was one step away
from being homeless.

now i've been hitting
halfway houses all day.

looking for a place
he might have crashed.

you're my last hope.

and your best one.

you know him?

it's archie bloom.

you, uh...

you said he was murdered?

yeah.

take a minute.

it's okay. um...

let me show you his room.

my name's kelly.
i'm a counselor here.

i was assigned to archie
when he came to us last week.

would that be
when he left the bookstore

where he was renting?

is that what gabriel
told you?

archie was renting a room?

that's right.

gabriel took in the boy

because he was in love
with him,

only gabriel's form of love

involved bouts
of meth and violence.

here's his bed.

did archie tell you
why he came here?

he didn't want to come.

he wanted to work it out
with gabriel.

archie felt rejected
by his father,

so the acceptance
of an older male meant

a lot to him.

but gabriel was a predator.

that's how archie got
the bruises.

it was
an abusive relationship.

it took a lot of courage,

but archie left everything
at gabriel's to join us.

excuse me.
sure.

hey, guys, enough.

my client mr. bloom
has connections,

and if you don't
let him go,

the next call you get
will be from the mayor.

i'm sorry, but there are
no special privileges.

your client is
a murder suspect.

well--
attorney for rick hughes.

i'd like to talk
to my client, please!

hold on.

cho. cho, help me out.

i am desperate here.

i got a lead.

which one?
the dad or the co-worker?

the lover.
what lover?

he's a new suspect.
great. just what i need.

who was that
and what'd they say?
now w-will you t--let me--
take me to my client already?

it's a huge mistake
to inconvenience my client...
do you realize how long...

any more
than you already have...
i've been waiting for, huh?

you're sitting there
looking at me like that.
not to mention my time,

kerouac's romance was
with benzedrine.

"on the road" would never have
been written without it.

oh, it's the literary detective.
i had a feeling you'd be back.

looking for new roommates,
gabriel?

something like that.

you three, out.

okay.

we have a warrant
to search your shop

and the apartment upstairs.

what are you looking for?

evidence linking you
to the murder of archie bloom.

why would i kill archie?

we read his journal.
we know all about it--

the physical and sexual abuse
driven by substance abuse.

crystal meth, to be exact.

archie's journal was
a writing project.

it was a pure work
of fiction.

funny. that's not
what he told his counselor

at the halfway house.

take off your jacket.

all right. there's a limit.

fine. keep your jacket on.

put your hands on your head
so i can search you.

no, you're not.

ow!

in archie's fictional journal,
the bad guy kept

something interesting
inside his jacket.

ohh.

crystal meth.

uh, o-okay. okay. okay.

yeah, for all
your high-minded talk,

you're nothing but a predator
and a drug addict.

that boy was barely
an adult.

and when he threated to tell
the police,

you killed him, just like
the journal said you would.

i didn't. i--ohh.

are you planning on joining
this investigation?

because we could really use
your help.

i'm weighing evidence
in my head.

where do you want to put
this one?

interrogation rooms one
and two are in use.

i'll put him in three.

that's it.
our stables are full.

we get any more suspects,

we're gonna have to convert
the janitor's closet.

this is
gabriel lamb's defense attorney.

where's my client?

lawyers in my office.
i'll be with you shortly.

did you get anything
at the bookstore?

crystal meth.
some on the suspect

and 40 grams in his apartment.
looks like he was dealing.

i don't get it.

we've got
three prime murder suspects,

all of whom are guilty
of other crimes.

well, thanks to the evidence
you were provided.

uncovered, not provided.

semantics.

our best hope to nail the killer
is to leverage our evidence

while they're still
in holding,

but which suspect do we
go after first?

well, you have three
neatly packaged possibilities.

uh, the only way to know
for certain

who killed archie bloom is
to convince the witness to talk.

we've got a witness?

yeah.

* hold me tonight *

mm.

sickening, shangela, truly.
ohh.

oh, well, girl,
it's getting there.

okay, and then after shangela,
i take the stage,

me, me, me,
and then i introduce

anita mandelay
for a little burlesque number.

oh, my.
he stops my heart every time.

hi, glennda.

hello, patrick. girls.
patrick.

patrick.
mm.

well, it seems
everyone knows me.

oops.

we're a close little group
back here.

i'm the drag mom
for most of these girls.

when you're starting out,

it helps to have someone
show you the way.

and what do you do
for them?

oh, what don't i do?

i help them figure out
where to shop,

how to dress,
and who to become.

nothing wows
like vintage madonna.

this is miss labelled.

she runs a pizza joint
in river park.

and what did glennda
teach you?

i learned how to market myself.
half off a large pepperoni...

if you bring in your ticket stub
from the show.

i learned how
to keep it simple

and make it sparkle.

this is frita people.

dentist by day,
devastating by night.

uh, excuse me.
wh-what's your name?

fifi nix.

fifi nix. and what did
glennda teach you?

how to accept who i am.

oh. i wish someone would
show me that trick. bravo.

so, patrick, you didn't come
all this way just to meet girls.

you're right.

uh, we have some suspects
in the murder investigation.

i was hoping
that you could come in

and pick out the killer
from the lineup.

i can't do that.

uh, i might make myself
his next target.

enough people hate us
for who we are.

i'm not going to give them
added incentive.

i thought i made myself
clear about that.

well, what you have made
clear here is that

you know how to celebrate
what's different...

mm.
and archie bloom was
different,

and he was burned alive
for it.

you have to go.

hmm.

there you are.

i brought this for you.

thanks.

you aren't gonna eat it?

i'm not hungry.

oh.

what are you doing here?

i came to fill out
some paperwork.

a girl's gotta get paid.

right.

yeah,
and... i came to see you.

hey, summer.

hey, teresa.

hi, boss.

what is that about?

come here.

are you ashamed of me?

i'm at work. she's my boss.
we need to be discreet.

it's nothing personal.

i get it.

i just wish
we could be open,

like
boyfriend and girlfriend.

we can,
if you stop being my c.i.

i don't want to stop.
i need this job.

the money's right,
and i like it.

it's the first grown-up job
i've had.

all right then.

no more fooling around
at work, okay?

yes, sir, agent cho.
on the double.

where's my money?

come on.

number 3,
please step forward.

what about him?

take your time.

mm...
no, i don't think it's him.

thank you.

number 4,
please step forward.

mnh-mnh. i'd remember him.
he's a brute.

thank you,
and, number 5, your turn.

you know him?

that one definitely looks
familiar.

is he the man you saw
in the alley?

um...

no, he--no, he's too big.

all of them are too big.
the man that i saw was slender.

well, we tried.

we did more than that.
we confirmed my suspicions.

glennda, come along.

there's some people
i'd like you to meet.

uh, you two are free to go.

these sad specimens are
the real suspects.

not any longer.
they're tainted.

jane, do you have any idea
what you've done?

i haven't done anything,
but it's coming.

glennda,
meet the real suspects.

bachelor number one--
a serial bully and a thief.

is that a dude?

bachelor number two owns
his own bookstore.

he's a drug-addicted sadist...

even the best dancer
in the world would look crazy

to those who can't hear
the music.

who enjoys bad poetry.

which leaves us
with bachelor number three

and the lowest life-form
of them all--

a father that rejected
his own son.

thank you. you just made
my attorney's job much easier.

all three of these suspects
are equally guilty

for lighting the flames that
took the life of archie bloom.

they can't all be the killer.

well, sure they can, because i
figured out who glennda saw

in that alleyway the night
the victim was murdered.

yes. archie bloom.

ohh.
the young man that doused
his own car with gas,

handcuffed himself
to the steering wheel,

and then... lit a match.

if the victim took
his own life,

it exonerates my client
of guilt.

uh, all of our clients.

"guilt" is a relative term.

you three men drove a boy
to take his own life.

but before he did,
he left clues

to make each one of you
a suspect.

what was the point?

he had to know the evidence
would never stand up.

archie rigged it

so that if your clients
didn't go down for murder,

they'd each have to answer
for their other crimes.

we're formally charging
rick hughes with theft,

gabriel lamb with drug dealing,

and archie bloom--

will walk. i guarantee it.

where is he going?

your client handcuffed
his gay son to a desk.

wait till that video gets out.

you're never gonna
work again.

it's just a shame a boy had
to take his own life

to bring each of you
to justice.

carl, get 'em out of here.

such a nice face.

why did he choose our alley
to end his life?

sometimes a dark alley
is just a dark alley.

well...
they've all been processed.

well,
that's a big haul today.

solved a murder.
you booked three scumbags,

as you coppers like to say.
you should be very proud.

i don't think i've ever been
so depressed about a case.

i can't get that kid out
of my head.

you want some tea?

i don't think
tea's gonna do it.

hmm.
in that case,

i think i know just the thing
to cheer you up--

cabaret.

jane.

and if hurry,
we can catch the late show.

come on. i need to get
flowers on the way.

mmm.

come on.

booty check.

oh. now who died?

don't mind us.
we come bearing well wishes

and flowers, so...
oh, thank you.

ah. fifi nix.

this is, uh, teresa lisbon.

hi.
fifi. these are for you.

i just want to wish you luck
with your new life.

you deserve the best.

what new life?

are you gonna tell her,
or shall i?

i have no idea
what you're talking about.

such modesty.

actually, i'm quite surprised
you hadn't picked it up.

"fifi nix."

phoenix.
risen from the ashes.

fifi nix is archie bloom?

that's right. i was.

uh, archie, i mean.

the suicide was staged?

not at first.
it was gonna be real.

they talked me out of it.

where did you get
the body?

well, here's hoping

i look good
in prison orange.

i stole an unclaimed body
from the cemetery where i work.

it was destined
for the potter's field.

ohh.

watch the head.

whoa, whoa.
drop it down.

come on.
oh.

ohh.
oh, my god.

watch your step.
watch the bag.

come on. this way.

come on.
shangela, get the door.

all right. there. there.

ohh.

ohh!
okay. okay.

let's go. let's go!

my heel.

come on. keep going.
keep going.

and what about
the dental records?

well, miss frita people
over there

happens to be a dentist
during the day.

archie's dentist.

uh, i x-rayed the corpse
and supplied your department

with the film.

that's how i met everyone.

last year,
i was getting a checkup.

i noticed traces
of eyeliner

on my dentist.

he introduced me around.

so you were all in on it?

we're suckers for heartache.

and that's why i lied about
what i saw in the alley.

she lied to protect us.

how did you know it was me?

well, you're exactly what
i expected to find,

i mean, uh, aside from
a little paint and bodywork.

what did you expect
to find?

the victim we were investigating
wasn't someone preparing to die.

it was someone that wanted
to live.

so what are you going
to do?

yes, uh,
what are we going to do?

we have a treat for you tonight.

the fiery creation who defies
the laws of man and nature.

drag babies, i present to you

the transcendent,
transformative fifi nix.

* somewhere *

* over the rainbow *

* way up high *

* there's *

* a land *

* that i heard of *

* once *

* in a lullaby *

is that a tear i see?

yeah, right.
just keep watching.

* over the rainbow *

* skies are blue *

* and the dreams *

* that you dare to dream *

* really do *

* come true *