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1
00:00:04,039 --> 00:00:06,939
Police Squad! In color.
2
00:00:13,915 --> 00:00:16,015
Starring Leslie Nielsen.
3
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:23,162
Also starring Alan North.
4
00:00:27,362 --> 00:00:29,762
And Rex Hamilton
as Abraham Lincoln.
5
00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:37,772
Tonight's special guest star,
Georg Stanford Brown.
6
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:48,706
Tonight's episode,
A Dangerous Assignment.
7
00:01:07,636 --> 00:01:09,036
Break it up. Come on.
8
00:01:31,727 --> 00:01:32,927
Okay, kid.
9
00:01:32,994 --> 00:01:34,634
When we get the high sign
from Martin,
10
00:01:34,696 --> 00:01:36,156
then you take the dive.
11
00:02:16,671 --> 00:02:18,601
Four, five,
12
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:21,270
six, seven,
13
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,609
eight, nine,
14
00:02:24,679 --> 00:02:26,209
ten, you're out!
15
00:02:35,757 --> 00:02:36,917
Mike,
16
00:02:39,694 --> 00:02:42,164
I think you made a big mistake.
17
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,970
Oh, Cooper, you worry too much.
18
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:50,936
I'm sorry,
no one's allowed inside.
19
00:02:51,006 --> 00:02:53,636
No, I'm sorry.
It's the rules, it's the rules.
20
00:03:03,018 --> 00:03:04,318
No entry.
21
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:05,715
Press.
22
00:03:05,787 --> 00:03:07,187
Oh, okay.
23
00:03:49,131 --> 00:03:50,931
My name is
Sergeant Frank Drebin,
24
00:03:50,999 --> 00:03:53,069
Detective Lieutenant,
Police Squad,
25
00:03:53,135 --> 00:03:56,035
a special division
of the police force.
26
00:03:56,104 --> 00:03:57,604
I'd just come
from the stockyards.
27
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,512
We'd gotten reports
that hundreds of cows
28
00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:02,044
had been senselessly
slaughtered in the area.
29
00:04:02,110 --> 00:04:03,910
But I couldn't find
any evidence.
30
00:04:03,979 --> 00:04:05,439
I stopped off for a hamburger
31
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:06,883
and checked in
with headquarters.
32
00:04:06,948 --> 00:04:09,078
There'd been
an apparent suicide.
33
00:04:09,151 --> 00:04:10,921
I went right to the scene.
34
00:04:10,986 --> 00:04:12,786
My boss was already there.
35
00:04:12,854 --> 00:04:14,654
Ed.
Oh, hi, Frank.
36
00:04:14,723 --> 00:04:16,063
What's up?
37
00:04:16,124 --> 00:04:18,294
Uh, guard discovered the body
about an hour ago.
38
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:20,429
Somebody went in here
right before it happened,
39
00:04:20,495 --> 00:04:23,725
but the guard's got bad eyes
and he can't make an ID.
40
00:04:23,799 --> 00:04:25,929
Uh, we're dusting
for prints now.
41
00:04:29,504 --> 00:04:31,944
What happened?
Kid named Mike Schultz.
42
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:35,536
Set up to look like suicide
but I'm not so sure.
43
00:04:35,610 --> 00:04:37,310
Why would a boxer
44
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:39,678
who just scored the biggest
victory of his career
45
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,547
go out and commit suicide?
46
00:04:41,616 --> 00:04:43,776
Are you thinking murder?
It could be.
47
00:04:45,053 --> 00:04:46,953
Anyone with Schultz
after the fight?
48
00:04:47,022 --> 00:04:49,362
Just his manager.
Who's that?
49
00:04:49,424 --> 00:04:51,464
Some Joe named Cooper.
50
00:04:51,526 --> 00:04:52,986
Who's this Joe Cooper?
51
00:04:53,061 --> 00:04:54,661
No, no, it's Sol Cooper.
52
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:57,859
He manages half the boxers in
town and they're all on the take.
53
00:05:00,101 --> 00:05:03,941
Want me to question him?
No, no, Frank. No.
54
00:05:04,005 --> 00:05:07,665
We may be dealing with
murder and corruption here.
55
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:10,412
I want you to go undercover.
56
00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:16,582
I knew that Montague Martin
was one of the few criminals
57
00:05:16,651 --> 00:05:19,191
who still tampered
with the outcome of fights.
58
00:05:19,254 --> 00:05:21,624
My plan was to find
a crooked fighter
59
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,619
and straighten him out.
60
00:05:26,328 --> 00:05:28,058
Mabel, Mabel,
61
00:05:28,129 --> 00:05:29,829
set the table.
62
00:05:29,898 --> 00:05:31,298
Don't forget
63
00:05:31,366 --> 00:05:33,626
the red hot...
64
00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:40,670
Aren't you Buddy Briggs?
65
00:05:42,077 --> 00:05:43,477
Yeah.
66
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,614
Too bad you lost
your last three fights.
67
00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,110
So I had some bad luck.
So what?
68
00:05:48,183 --> 00:05:51,223
Well, maybe you don't have
the right kind of management.
69
00:05:51,286 --> 00:05:54,416
Don't you think you should start
thinking about that, Buddy?
70
00:05:54,489 --> 00:05:57,289
I make a pretty good living.
Maybe you can make a better one,
71
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,628
and a cleaner one
and a better one.
72
00:06:00,729 --> 00:06:02,859
Where's your manager?
In the back.
73
00:06:14,776 --> 00:06:16,576
One of you manage Buddy Briggs?
74
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,680
Yeah.
75
00:06:20,749 --> 00:06:22,209
You gotta be Cooper.
76
00:06:24,185 --> 00:06:26,615
I hear you own a piece of just
about every boxer in town.
77
00:06:26,688 --> 00:06:28,858
Yeah, what's it to you?
I'm a manager.
78
00:06:28,923 --> 00:06:30,823
I wanna take over
Buddy Briggs' contract.
79
00:06:30,892 --> 00:06:32,662
What are you,
some kind of wise guy?
80
00:06:32,727 --> 00:06:35,127
Yeah, I'm a wise guy
81
00:06:35,196 --> 00:06:37,596
with a lot of long green.
82
00:06:37,666 --> 00:06:40,296
You manage Lorne Greene?
83
00:06:40,368 --> 00:06:41,728
I'll trade Buddy
for Lorne Greene.
84
00:06:41,803 --> 00:06:44,243
No, no.
I mean I got cash.
85
00:06:44,305 --> 00:06:46,005
You manage Johnny Cash, too?
86
00:06:46,074 --> 00:06:47,944
Wait a minute.
Who are you?
87
00:06:48,777 --> 00:06:50,007
Kelly.
88
00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:53,079
Bob Kelly.
89
00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:55,918
Mind if I sit in a few hands?
90
00:06:55,984 --> 00:06:57,824
Your money's good here.
91
00:06:57,886 --> 00:06:59,686
Goodyear?
92
00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,494
You got the blimp, too?
93
00:07:03,859 --> 00:07:05,459
It didn't take long
for me to see
94
00:07:05,527 --> 00:07:07,887
that the game was as crooked
as Cooper's smile.
95
00:07:17,105 --> 00:07:18,805
Just you and me, Kelly.
96
00:07:20,642 --> 00:07:22,312
I raise you $500.
97
00:07:22,377 --> 00:07:24,207
Well, that's my kind of action.
98
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,950
Here's your $500.
99
00:07:28,416 --> 00:07:30,046
One grand more.
100
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,240
That's a lot of do-re-mi, Kelly.
101
00:07:54,309 --> 00:07:56,239
I'm outta cash.
102
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,680
What about these?
No dice.
103
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:00,676
But there is something else
I'm interested in.
104
00:08:00,749 --> 00:08:01,909
What's that?
105
00:08:01,983 --> 00:08:03,823
Buddy Briggs' contract.
106
00:08:04,819 --> 00:08:06,089
All right, Kelly.
107
00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:10,763
What do you got?
108
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,793
Full house. Kings over.
109
00:08:14,862 --> 00:08:17,502
Not so fast, Kelly.
110
00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:19,295
A straight beats a full house.
111
00:08:19,367 --> 00:08:21,327
No it doesn't.
A straight beats three of a kind.
112
00:08:21,403 --> 00:08:23,173
A full house beats a straight.
113
00:08:23,238 --> 00:08:24,868
Doesn't a flush beat a straight?
114
00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:26,669
A straight flush
beats everything.
115
00:08:26,741 --> 00:08:28,011
Not a royal flush.
116
00:08:28,076 --> 00:08:29,836
Does a flush beat a full house?
117
00:08:29,911 --> 00:08:32,781
A regular flush
or a straight flush?
118
00:08:32,847 --> 00:08:34,377
A flush... A flush
beats a straight.
119
00:08:34,416 --> 00:08:36,146
I've played a lot of poker.
120
00:08:36,218 --> 00:08:37,848
A full house beats a straight.
121
00:08:37,852 --> 00:08:40,122
Maybe so, Kelly.
122
00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:42,818
But four of us beats one of you.
123
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,590
All right,
I've got an ace in the hole.
124
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:46,830
That makes me the winner.
125
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,334
Buddy Briggs belongs to me now.
126
00:08:48,396 --> 00:08:50,656
But just to make it
nice and legal,
127
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,171
I brought along a bill of sale.
Sign it.
128
00:08:54,169 --> 00:08:56,469
You. You witness it.
129
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,367
You,
you check for spelling errors.
130
00:08:59,441 --> 00:09:02,141
All right, Cooper.
Get that stuff in there.
131
00:09:03,211 --> 00:09:05,141
How many "L's" in legally?
132
00:09:06,081 --> 00:09:08,251
You may have a fighter, Kelly,
133
00:09:08,316 --> 00:09:10,876
but you'll never get a fight.
134
00:09:10,952 --> 00:09:15,022
We got this town sewn up
tighter than a floozy's skirt.
135
00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:17,019
We'll see about that, Cooper.
136
00:09:21,629 --> 00:09:24,859
Well, gentlemen,
it's been a nice afternoon.
137
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,702
Hope we can do it again
some other time.
138
00:09:26,768 --> 00:09:28,328
I'm free Wednesdays.
139
00:09:31,339 --> 00:09:33,039
This guy's more trouble
than he's worth.
140
00:09:33,108 --> 00:09:34,638
I want him knocked off!
141
00:09:40,815 --> 00:09:42,415
My plan was working.
142
00:09:42,484 --> 00:09:44,354
I was now Buddy Briggs' manager.
143
00:09:44,419 --> 00:09:45,949
But I still had
no way to connect
144
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,650
Cooper and Martin
with the murder.
145
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,460
I got a call from Olson.
146
00:09:54,529 --> 00:09:57,029
The lab had come up
with something.
147
00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:59,898
So you see, Katie,
when I throw this switch,
148
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,897
the electrical current
from the power source
149
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:05,039
is able to continue its journey
to its final destination.
150
00:10:05,106 --> 00:10:06,966
In our case, the light bulb.
151
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:08,211
Gee.
152
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,375
All set then?
153
00:10:09,444 --> 00:10:11,044
I guess so, Mr. Olson.
154
00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:12,382
Here we go.
155
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,207
Oh. Hi, Frank. Ed.
156
00:10:15,283 --> 00:10:16,583
Yeah.
157
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,350
Why don't you run
along now, Katie?
158
00:10:18,419 --> 00:10:20,319
And next week remember
to bring three things
159
00:10:20,388 --> 00:10:21,648
from your mother's dresser.
160
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,762
Gee, thanks, Mr. Olson. Bye.
161
00:10:25,427 --> 00:10:27,557
Anything on
the Mike Schultz case?
162
00:10:28,129 --> 00:10:29,759
The dead boxer?
163
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:32,965
Well, there weren't many clues.
Any prints?
164
00:10:33,034 --> 00:10:34,634
No, but we found some whiskers.
165
00:10:34,703 --> 00:10:36,043
Oh?
166
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,403
Take a look in here.
167
00:10:42,777 --> 00:10:44,137
Facial hair.
168
00:10:50,618 --> 00:10:51,678
Yep.
169
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:53,352
Hair is like fingerprints.
170
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,820
No two follicles are alike.
171
00:10:55,890 --> 00:10:58,320
The strand on the left
belongs to Schultz.
172
00:10:58,393 --> 00:11:00,693
The one on the right
was found near his body.
173
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:04,231
So, whoever belongs
to that whisker is our killer.
174
00:11:04,299 --> 00:11:06,069
Have you identified him?
Yes.
175
00:11:07,135 --> 00:11:08,595
It belongs to him.
176
00:11:10,638 --> 00:11:12,608
Luca Burnett
was a five-time loser
177
00:11:12,674 --> 00:11:14,944
who was working
for Montague Martin.
178
00:11:15,009 --> 00:11:17,509
Now I knew who was responsible
for the murder.
179
00:11:17,579 --> 00:11:20,179
But I needed someone
who wasn't afraid to talk.
180
00:11:20,248 --> 00:11:23,018
The next step
was to work on Buddy Briggs.
181
00:11:24,619 --> 00:11:25,789
Hi, Buddy.
182
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,093
What are you doing here?
183
00:11:27,155 --> 00:11:28,155
I'm your new manager.
184
00:11:28,223 --> 00:11:29,693
Hey, look, buster,
185
00:11:29,791 --> 00:11:32,721
I don't know who you are
or what you're trying to pull,
186
00:11:32,794 --> 00:11:33,964
but I work for Cooper.
187
00:11:34,028 --> 00:11:35,428
Not anymore.
188
00:11:35,496 --> 00:11:38,056
And you don't go in the tank
anymore either.
189
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,772
I don't know
what you're talking about.
190
00:11:39,834 --> 00:11:41,234
All right, Buddy,
play it stupid.
191
00:11:41,302 --> 00:11:42,542
I don't care.
You hear me?
192
00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,743
I don't wanna end up dead
in some locker room.
193
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,205
Now get out!
194
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:48,968
Mary.
195
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,781
Mary, why aren't you
at waitress school?
196
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:55,748
Mary.
197
00:11:55,817 --> 00:11:57,477
You've been drinking again,
haven't you?
198
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:58,891
You're a bum!
199
00:11:58,986 --> 00:12:00,386
Mary.
200
00:12:00,455 --> 00:12:03,155
The only money you've ever
earned is by throwing fights.
201
00:12:03,224 --> 00:12:05,324
You're not the man I married.
202
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:06,762
How can you say that?
203
00:12:06,828 --> 00:12:08,728
Because here's
the man I married.
204
00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:13,365
Mary, I love you.
205
00:12:13,434 --> 00:12:16,004
I'm trying to give you
all the things you never had.
206
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:19,040
A decent home, a decent life,
your own synagogue.
207
00:12:19,107 --> 00:12:21,767
You're never gonna
give me those things,
208
00:12:21,843 --> 00:12:23,283
and you know why?
209
00:12:23,344 --> 00:12:25,384
'Cause you got no guts.
210
00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:28,876
You're scared of Martin and Cooper.
They own you.
211
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,549
Nobody owns Buddy Briggs!
Nobody!
212
00:12:31,619 --> 00:12:33,989
Don't lie to me!
213
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:37,164
Every big fight you've ever been
in, you've taken a dive.
214
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:40,094
And you know what?
You could've been somebody.
215
00:12:40,161 --> 00:12:42,931
You could've been a
contender instead of a bum,
216
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,530
which is what you are.
217
00:12:49,938 --> 00:12:51,068
Muffin.
218
00:12:58,546 --> 00:12:59,946
Buddy,
219
00:13:00,014 --> 00:13:01,714
I'm here to help you.
220
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,362
Now, do you think
you can beat The Champ?
221
00:13:03,384 --> 00:13:05,654
I can take him blindfolded.
What if he's not blindfolded?
222
00:13:05,719 --> 00:13:07,049
I can still beat him.
223
00:13:09,723 --> 00:13:11,163
I believe you.
224
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,025
That's why I won you
in the poker game.
225
00:13:13,094 --> 00:13:14,664
You fight on the up-and-up,
226
00:13:14,728 --> 00:13:16,958
you'll be able to look in
the mirror and see a winner.
227
00:13:17,031 --> 00:13:19,671
You've been living
in the dumps too long, pal.
228
00:13:19,734 --> 00:13:22,204
I'm gonna help you and Mary
get out of this sewer.
229
00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:23,270
Come on.
230
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,479
All right, Buddy,
231
00:13:30,545 --> 00:13:33,275
now, you meet me tomorrow
at Maury's Bar on Prospect.
232
00:13:33,348 --> 00:13:35,208
I'm gonna get you a fight
with The Champ.
233
00:13:35,282 --> 00:13:36,882
Well, how are you gonna do that?
234
00:13:36,951 --> 00:13:38,381
You leave that to me.
235
00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,073
Buddy.
236
00:14:04,212 --> 00:14:05,812
What'll it be?
237
00:14:05,813 --> 00:14:07,083
Screwdriver.
238
00:14:19,193 --> 00:14:20,433
Anything to drink?
239
00:14:20,494 --> 00:14:21,664
No, thank you.
240
00:14:22,763 --> 00:14:24,763
Hey, Kelly.
241
00:14:24,832 --> 00:14:27,032
Sure are a lot of
photographers here tonight.
242
00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:29,571
Yeah, I know.
Is Cooper and Martin here? Yeah.
243
00:14:29,637 --> 00:14:32,367
They're sitting at the table
with a couple of tramps.
244
00:14:36,344 --> 00:14:37,614
Well,
245
00:14:37,678 --> 00:14:40,408
I think it's time to go
and meet Mr. Big.
246
00:14:40,481 --> 00:14:42,011
His name's Mr. Martin.
247
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,550
Well.
248
00:14:50,858 --> 00:14:52,288
Hey, Cooper,
249
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,130
you calling any bluffs lately?
250
00:14:54,195 --> 00:14:55,285
Well,
251
00:14:56,931 --> 00:14:58,631
if it isn't Mr. Kelly.
252
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:01,407
It's the guy I was
telling you about,
253
00:15:01,436 --> 00:15:03,936
the guy who manages
Lorne Greene and Johnny Cash.
254
00:15:04,939 --> 00:15:06,369
Go powder your noses.
255
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:18,722
Listen, smart boy,
I own this town.
256
00:15:18,786 --> 00:15:21,146
You may have a fighter,
257
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:23,021
but you're never
gonna get a fight.
258
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,202
We'll see about that.
259
00:15:31,933 --> 00:15:34,203
Roses are red, violets are blue,
260
00:15:34,202 --> 00:15:36,172
sugar is sweet,
I'm gonna break your face.
261
00:15:38,606 --> 00:15:40,966
Buddy Briggs could break
every bone in your body.
262
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,941
Yeah, well, he must be
a pretty good boxer.
263
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,110
Well, how would you know?
264
00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:45,978
You never won an honest fight
in your life.
265
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:47,276
Hey, take it easy.
266
00:15:47,348 --> 00:15:48,658
Nobody wants to get hurt.
Just cool off.
267
00:15:48,683 --> 00:15:50,783
Why should I?
The only reason you're champ
268
00:15:50,852 --> 00:15:53,092
is 'cause of guys
lying down or dying.
269
00:15:53,154 --> 00:15:54,824
Hey, let me buy you a drink.
We'll talk.
270
00:15:54,888 --> 00:15:58,688
I wouldn't drink with you, you
two-bit, phony excuse for a fighter.
271
00:15:58,759 --> 00:16:00,259
You're just tired,
272
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,757
you didn't mean it.
Ah, forget it.
273
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:04,029
"Forget it"?
274
00:16:04,098 --> 00:16:06,298
Nobody says "forget it" to me!
275
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:35,226
Sorry, Buddy,
no sax before a fight.
276
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:37,463
Are you nervous?
277
00:16:37,532 --> 00:16:38,732
Yeah, a bit.
278
00:16:38,799 --> 00:16:40,669
But I know I can take this guy.
279
00:16:40,735 --> 00:16:42,365
Nothing can stop me tonight.
280
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:43,936
What are you doing here, Martin?
281
00:16:44,005 --> 00:16:46,805
Get outta here.
I've gone straight.
282
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:49,444
If you're smart,
you'll go straight to the canvas
283
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:50,580
in the 12th.
284
00:16:50,645 --> 00:16:51,645
Forget it.
285
00:16:52,613 --> 00:16:54,453
We've got Mary.
What?
286
00:16:54,515 --> 00:16:56,715
You're bluffing.
Oh, yeah?
287
00:16:56,784 --> 00:16:57,984
Mary's scarf!
288
00:16:58,052 --> 00:16:59,522
You could have
gotten that anywhere.
289
00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:01,487
How about this?
Mary's purse!
290
00:17:01,556 --> 00:17:03,286
There are millions
of purses like that.
291
00:17:03,357 --> 00:17:04,917
How about this?
292
00:17:06,027 --> 00:17:07,257
Mary's toaster!
293
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,526
Oh, my God.
294
00:17:11,399 --> 00:17:13,729
In the 12th, Buddy.
295
00:17:17,171 --> 00:17:18,741
I can't believe it.
296
00:17:18,806 --> 00:17:20,706
I trained to win this fight.
297
00:17:20,775 --> 00:17:22,735
I can win this fight.
298
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:24,310
Now I gotta lose.
299
00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:26,708
Buddy,
I'll make a deal with you.
300
00:17:27,448 --> 00:17:29,618
I'll bring back Mary,
301
00:17:29,684 --> 00:17:31,154
you beat The Champ.
302
00:17:35,823 --> 00:17:37,393
I radioed Hocken to get some men
303
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:38,958
and meet me at the arena.
304
00:17:39,026 --> 00:17:41,186
If I wanted to put Martin
and his monkeys behind bars,
305
00:17:41,262 --> 00:17:43,362
I had to find Mary, and fast.
306
00:17:50,605 --> 00:17:53,535
Johnny, I need
some information and fast.
307
00:17:53,608 --> 00:17:55,438
There's a woman in trouble.
308
00:17:55,476 --> 00:17:58,406
You mean Mary,
the boxer's wife who was just kidnapped?
309
00:17:58,479 --> 00:18:00,609
Right. You know
anything about it?
310
00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:02,381
Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
311
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,392
She's in big trouble.
312
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:10,394
She's being held
by Martin's goon, Luca.
313
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:11,787
What's a "goonluca"?
314
00:18:11,859 --> 00:18:14,929
No, Luca Burnett.
Martin's henchman.
315
00:18:14,962 --> 00:18:16,392
Right.
316
00:18:16,464 --> 00:18:17,834
Where are they?
317
00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:20,228
It's a big city.
Could be most anyplace.
318
00:18:24,738 --> 00:18:27,638
You might wanna try Jim's Gym.
319
00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:29,738
Thanks, Johnny.
I'll be in touch.
320
00:18:36,484 --> 00:18:38,924
It's a bypass operation, Johnny.
So?
321
00:18:38,986 --> 00:18:41,816
The guy has a history
of sinus bradycardia.
322
00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:43,859
I wouldn't know anything
about it.
323
00:18:47,829 --> 00:18:49,959
You got him on atropine?
Of course.
324
00:18:51,465 --> 00:18:54,925
Do a midline thoracotomy,
strip the saphenous vein,
325
00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:57,702
be careful not to puncture
the myocardium.
326
00:19:14,388 --> 00:19:17,788
Tonight's main event, 15 rounds
327
00:19:17,858 --> 00:19:20,828
for the championship
of the world.
328
00:19:20,894 --> 00:19:24,204
In this corner,
weighing 210 pounds
329
00:19:24,232 --> 00:19:27,632
in the dark trunks
is the current champion,
330
00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:29,101
The Champ.
331
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,840
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
332
00:19:34,909 --> 00:19:36,579
I'm gonna break your face!
333
00:19:36,644 --> 00:19:38,584
I'm gonna break your face!
334
00:20:31,799 --> 00:20:34,169
No! No! No!
No! Help!
335
00:20:34,235 --> 00:20:36,295
Police Squad!
You're under arrest!
336
00:20:36,370 --> 00:20:37,800
No way, Ray!
337
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:01,328
All right, Luca,
I've got a gun in your ribs.
338
00:21:01,395 --> 00:21:03,895
I'm not Luca
and those aren't my ribs.
339
00:21:03,964 --> 00:21:05,404
Eat lead, copper!
340
00:21:07,134 --> 00:21:09,004
Mary, you all right? Yes.
341
00:21:09,069 --> 00:21:10,469
So am I.
342
00:21:15,042 --> 00:21:17,382
- How about now?
- Now?
343
00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,844
Not so good.
344
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,350
We're about to start
the 12th round.
345
00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:25,176
And remember, Buddy Briggs
has never gone the distance.
346
00:21:33,460 --> 00:21:36,260
At this point, I'd say
it could go either way.
347
00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:38,000
Both men are strong, but tired.
348
00:21:38,064 --> 00:21:40,504
And one punch could end it
at any moment.
349
00:22:02,056 --> 00:22:04,786
One, two,
350
00:22:04,859 --> 00:22:06,059
three...
351
00:22:06,127 --> 00:22:08,757
Mary, Mary.
352
00:22:08,829 --> 00:22:10,599
Every big fight
you've ever been in
353
00:22:10,664 --> 00:22:12,164
you've taken a dive.
354
00:22:12,233 --> 00:22:14,003
I'll get you
a fight with The Champ
355
00:22:14,067 --> 00:22:16,567
and then maybe
you'll be a winner.
356
00:22:16,637 --> 00:22:18,697
There's no place like home.
357
00:22:18,773 --> 00:22:20,973
There's no place like home.
358
00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:23,181
Auntie Em!
359
00:22:23,243 --> 00:22:26,983
And Toto, too!
360
00:22:27,047 --> 00:22:29,547
- You'll always be a bum!
- Buddy!
361
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:36,094
Six, seven,
362
00:22:36,156 --> 00:22:37,886
eight, nine...
363
00:22:48,936 --> 00:22:51,196
How many fingers do you see?
364
00:22:51,271 --> 00:22:52,501
Thursday.
365
00:22:57,811 --> 00:22:59,781
The winner!
Yeah, Mary!
366
00:23:00,548 --> 00:23:02,478
Yeah, Mary!
367
00:23:02,550 --> 00:23:04,620
Mary! Yeah!
368
00:23:06,587 --> 00:23:09,457
How do you feel about the
victory, champ? Great!
369
00:23:09,523 --> 00:23:12,663
It's not only a victory for
me, but for all of boxing.
370
00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:14,926
'Cause I'd like to tell
you about some cheap crooks
371
00:23:14,995 --> 00:23:16,425
who are trying to ruin the game.
372
00:23:16,497 --> 00:23:19,057
Montague Martin!
373
00:23:19,133 --> 00:23:21,273
Kelly! The name is
Detective Frank Drebin
374
00:23:21,335 --> 00:23:22,665
and I'm a boxing fan.
375
00:23:22,736 --> 00:23:24,196
What the...
All right, Martin,
376
00:23:24,271 --> 00:23:25,941
you've fixed your last fight.
377
00:23:26,006 --> 00:23:29,006
From now on, the boxers in
this town will lose honestly.
378
00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:30,806
Buddy! Buddy!
379
00:23:33,113 --> 00:23:34,683
Buddy! Buddy!
380
00:23:34,748 --> 00:23:36,048
Mary!
381
00:23:49,596 --> 00:23:51,496
Hi, Ed.
Oh, hi, Frank.
382
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:53,972
Excuse me.
Yep.
383
00:23:57,304 --> 00:24:00,374
Uh, Drebin here.
Get me Pete Preussing.
384
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,940
Tell him I'd like the final
report on Martin and Sally Decker.
385
00:24:04,011 --> 00:24:05,381
Right.
386
00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,345
Looks like we got
a new champ, huh?
387
00:24:09,149 --> 00:24:11,019
Well,
388
00:24:11,084 --> 00:24:13,424
looks like I can get back to
reading the sport pages now.
389
00:24:13,486 --> 00:24:17,186
Speaking of sports pages, I see they're
bringing your friend Martin in now.
390
00:24:20,227 --> 00:24:21,687
You think you're
a big man, Drebin,
391
00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:23,631
but I'm telling you,
I'm gonna beat this rap.
392
00:24:23,697 --> 00:24:25,527
Don't count on that, Martin.
393
00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:28,098
Looks like you and your
cohorts'll be doing your boxing
394
00:24:28,168 --> 00:24:30,298
up at the Stateville Prison
from now on.
395
00:24:56,263 --> 00:24:59,403
Be sure to tune in next week
for another exciting story
396
00:24:59,466 --> 00:25:01,766
from the files of Police Squad!
26360
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