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{fade}Corrections by Linus75
Sync by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com
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Todd! You're back, huh?
3
00:00:21,058 --> 00:00:23,064
How was management training?
4
00:00:23,132 --> 00:00:24,638
What happened?
5
00:00:24,705 --> 00:00:26,945
Um, where is everybody?
6
00:00:27,013 --> 00:00:28,518
Costs were through the roof.
7
00:00:28,586 --> 00:00:29,922
You know, pensions,
health care.
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00:00:29,990 --> 00:00:31,795
We had to do
a little right-sizing.
9
00:00:31,862 --> 00:00:33,501
There's no one here.
10
00:00:33,569 --> 00:00:36,409
Exactly. That's what
makes us the right size.
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00:00:36,477 --> 00:00:40,621
Yesterday, we outsourced
the entire call center to India.
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"you bastard"?
13
00:00:49,078 --> 00:00:50,314
That's for me.
14
00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:51,450
Wait. Wait a minute.
15
00:00:51,517 --> 00:00:53,921
Jerry, I went through training
16
00:00:53,989 --> 00:00:56,594
specifically
to run this call center.
17
00:00:56,662 --> 00:00:58,298
- I know.
- And?
18
00:00:58,366 --> 00:01:00,369
We still want you
to run the call center...
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00:01:00,437 --> 00:01:02,272
in India.
20
00:01:02,341 --> 00:01:03,710
Ha ha ha!
21
00:01:03,777 --> 00:01:06,682
You want me to go to ?
22
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:09,756
Todd, if you do this
for the company,
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00:01:09,823 --> 00:01:13,263
we're gonna bump you
up to Vice President.
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00:01:14,835 --> 00:01:17,540
And if you don't, well,
we're already the right size.
25
00:01:17,608 --> 00:01:19,143
There are no more positions here.
26
00:01:19,211 --> 00:01:20,981
Wait, so you're saying,
go to India,
27
00:01:21,049 --> 00:01:22,418
or I'm out of a job?
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00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:24,521
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
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00:01:24,589 --> 00:01:26,693
I worked hard
for this company.
30
00:01:26,761 --> 00:01:28,431
I was the best salesman.
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00:01:28,499 --> 00:01:29,700
And you know what?
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00:01:29,768 --> 00:01:31,102
Who's to say
I'm not gonna go out there
33
00:01:31,170 --> 00:01:34,009
and start
my own novelties company, huh?
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00:01:34,077 --> 00:01:36,449
Don't you owe, like,
40 grand in student loans?
35
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:43,328
Whoa!
36
00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:46,267
Oh, man, this is insane!
37
00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:50,339
It's like... it's like frogger,
but with real people.
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00:01:52,476 --> 00:01:54,244
Before we arrive,
I took the liberty
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00:01:54,311 --> 00:01:56,078
Of having these name tags made.
40
00:01:56,146 --> 00:01:58,882
Oh. "Todd Dempsey: Manager."
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00:01:58,949 --> 00:02:00,752
Wow. Thank you, Rajiv.
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00:02:00,819 --> 00:02:02,020
Thank you very much.
43
00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:03,022
My pleasure, sir.
44
00:02:05,594 --> 00:02:06,595
Yours says manager, too.
45
00:02:06,662 --> 00:02:07,930
You are most perceptive.
46
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,499
As they say in America,
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00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:11,469
"your elevator
goes to the penthouse."
48
00:02:11,537 --> 00:02:13,172
We don't really say that.
49
00:02:13,239 --> 00:02:15,008
I think you do.
50
00:02:15,076 --> 00:02:17,545
Why does yours say manager, too?
51
00:02:17,613 --> 00:02:19,782
Oh, I'm simply planning ahead.
52
00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:21,485
You see,
after you return to America,
53
00:02:21,553 --> 00:02:23,254
I will become manager
of the call center.
54
00:02:23,322 --> 00:02:25,290
I thought to myself,
why print a name tag
55
00:02:25,358 --> 00:02:26,759
that says "assistant manager"
56
00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:28,128
when it is only a matter of time
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00:02:28,196 --> 00:02:30,599
before you triumph here
and make a glorious homecoming?
58
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:34,371
Oh, wow. So you've got it
all figured out, huh?
59
00:02:34,439 --> 00:02:37,209
After I become manager,
my salary will increase enough
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00:02:37,276 --> 00:02:39,379
that I will be able to move out
of my parents' apartment
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00:02:39,447 --> 00:02:40,714
and finally marry Vimi.
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00:02:40,782 --> 00:02:42,884
It seems our fates
are tied, sir.
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00:02:42,952 --> 00:02:44,820
Your triumphs
are my triumphs.
64
00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:47,023
Your victories
are my victories.
65
00:02:47,091 --> 00:02:48,993
We need a victory.
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00:03:06,718 --> 00:03:09,021
Indian man: Okay, thank you
very much, please. Good-bye.
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00:03:13,796 --> 00:03:15,030
Come now!
68
00:03:15,098 --> 00:03:18,068
You are paid to work, not to sit
around doing chitchat!
69
00:03:18,136 --> 00:03:22,675
It is my great pleasure
to introduce Mr. Todd Dempsey.
70
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:28,149
Hello.
Hello, everyone.
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00:03:28,217 --> 00:03:30,286
I'm, uh, really...
72
00:03:34,792 --> 00:03:38,061
I'm, uh... looking forward
73
00:03:38,129 --> 00:03:40,498
to working with
all of you as your manager,
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00:03:40,566 --> 00:03:44,134
so, uh, let's get to know
one another, okay?
75
00:03:44,202 --> 00:03:46,635
- My name is Gupta...
- Hello.
76
00:03:46,703 --> 00:03:48,337
- Hi. Todd.
- Manindra.
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00:03:48,404 --> 00:03:50,272
M... nice name.
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00:03:50,339 --> 00:03:54,108
Hello. Uh...Okay.
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00:03:54,176 --> 00:03:57,344
Hello. Um,
and your name is, uh...
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00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:58,345
Madhuri.
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00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,345
What? Excuse me?
82
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:01,013
Madhuri.
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00:04:01,081 --> 00:04:02,447
Just a little louder
this time.
84
00:04:02,515 --> 00:04:03,815
Ahem.
85
00:04:03,883 --> 00:04:05,283
Madhuri.
86
00:04:05,350 --> 00:04:07,217
I'm sorry, I'm not...
87
00:04:07,285 --> 00:04:08,618
Uh, moving on.
88
00:04:08,686 --> 00:04:10,420
She works the phones?
Really?
89
00:04:10,488 --> 00:04:11,488
- Hi. Hello.
- Oh.
90
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:12,488
I'm Manmeet.
91
00:04:12,556 --> 00:04:13,656
Man-meat?
92
00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:14,924
Yes, Manmeet.
93
00:04:14,992 --> 00:04:17,159
Your name is man-meat?
94
00:04:17,227 --> 00:04:18,461
Yes.
95
00:04:18,528 --> 00:04:21,863
Well, guess it must be
hard to chat on the internet
96
00:04:21,931 --> 00:04:25,100
with a name like man-meat.
97
00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:27,568
All right,
we will talk later.
98
00:04:27,636 --> 00:04:29,270
Okay.
99
00:04:29,337 --> 00:04:30,604
Hello.
100
00:04:30,672 --> 00:04:32,472
Hello. I'm Asha.
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00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,841
Ah, nice to meet you, Asha.
102
00:04:34,909 --> 00:04:36,476
That is a pretty name.
103
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,044
Thank you.
104
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,611
It means "hope".
105
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:40,946
Really? Well,
106
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:45,016
in that case, I "asha"
to get to know you better.
107
00:04:47,986 --> 00:04:49,286
Hope to get to know you.
108
00:04:49,354 --> 00:04:50,687
Yes, I understand.
109
00:04:50,755 --> 00:04:53,023
- All right.
- My name is Gupta...
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00:04:53,091 --> 00:04:56,226
I will get to know the rest
of you throughout the day.
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00:04:56,294 --> 00:04:59,830
The phones are switching
over later.
112
00:05:01,655 --> 00:05:03,587
And, oh, in the meantime,
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00:05:03,655 --> 00:05:06,456
I'm not sure what religion
you guys are,
114
00:05:06,524 --> 00:05:08,391
but this is your new bible.
115
00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:13,562
And the first commandment
is know this catalog.
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00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:15,931
Sir, if I may,
I would like to show you
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00:05:15,998 --> 00:05:18,132
to our offices
in the executive suite.
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00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,566
Please follow me.
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00:05:21,469 --> 00:05:23,337
Here we are.
120
00:05:25,605 --> 00:05:27,072
Whoa!
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00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:28,673
There's a cow.
122
00:05:28,741 --> 00:05:31,208
You gotta be kidding me.
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00:05:31,276 --> 00:05:33,543
Yes, the cow
is considered sacred.
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00:05:33,611 --> 00:05:34,810
It can go where it pleases.
125
00:05:34,878 --> 00:05:36,544
Really? Wow.
126
00:05:36,612 --> 00:05:40,481
Well, I guess you don't have
to go far for the creamer.
127
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,282
Please do not touch the cow.
128
00:05:42,350 --> 00:05:43,717
Of course not.
129
00:05:43,785 --> 00:05:46,820
I know it must be difficult
for you Americans to understand,
130
00:05:46,887 --> 00:05:48,889
since you eat hamburgers
morning, noon, and night.
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00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:51,559
You are so wealthy,
you practically bathe in meat.
132
00:05:51,626 --> 00:05:53,060
Whoa, where do you
get your news, man?
133
00:05:53,128 --> 00:05:55,664
But for us Hindus,
the cow is not a source of meat.
134
00:05:55,732 --> 00:05:58,199
It is sacred
because of the milk it brings.
135
00:05:58,267 --> 00:05:59,901
Muslims and Jews
do not eat pigs.
136
00:05:59,969 --> 00:06:01,235
We do not eat cows.
Is it so crazy?
137
00:06:01,303 --> 00:06:03,938
Yeah, Rajiv, I get it.
138
00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:05,506
The cow is
not a source of meat.
139
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:06,907
It is a religious thing.
140
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:09,175
You know, I'm gonna respect
your traditions.
141
00:06:11,812 --> 00:06:13,179
So what time is lunch?
142
00:06:23,255 --> 00:06:26,356
Okay, uh, just give me
some of that...
143
00:06:26,423 --> 00:06:28,357
Yellow and green stuff.
144
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,135
Hey, are you American?
145
00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:46,570
Saddle up.
146
00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:47,705
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
147
00:06:47,772 --> 00:06:48,772
Yeah.
148
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,207
Charlie Davies.
149
00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:51,908
I run the call center
for All American Hunter.
150
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,375
Todd Dempsey.
151
00:06:53,443 --> 00:06:55,211
I'm running the call center
for Mid America Novelties.
152
00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:56,579
- Oh.
- Just started today.
153
00:06:56,646 --> 00:06:58,380
Yeah, that's what I figured.
154
00:06:58,447 --> 00:06:59,914
What?
155
00:06:59,982 --> 00:07:02,585
You got the pepper thing.
156
00:07:02,652 --> 00:07:04,153
- So?
- Do you hate your own ass?
157
00:07:04,221 --> 00:07:06,288
Really?
It's that spicy?
158
00:07:06,356 --> 00:07:09,623
If you eat that, you'll be
crapping yourself for five days.
159
00:07:09,691 --> 00:07:12,092
Not talking about two days
or three days
160
00:07:12,159 --> 00:07:14,793
or four and a little...
161
00:07:14,861 --> 00:07:17,495
I'm talking
about five full days.
162
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:18,863
Here.
163
00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:22,566
Jiffy peanut butter
and smucker's grape jelly.
164
00:07:22,633 --> 00:07:24,334
I get it shipped from home.
165
00:07:24,401 --> 00:07:26,402
Cheetos, hostess cupcake,
166
00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:27,770
and my backup sandwich,
167
00:07:27,837 --> 00:07:30,138
honey-glazed ham
and good old American cheese.
168
00:07:30,206 --> 00:07:32,274
As far as I'm concerned,
you're not a world power
169
00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:34,576
until you've got a cheese named
after your country.
170
00:07:34,644 --> 00:07:37,412
So the superpowers are us,
the Swiss...
171
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,781
I'm not into politics, okay?
172
00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:41,616
Okay.
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00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:43,784
Well, thanks, um...
174
00:07:43,852 --> 00:07:45,785
But I'm sure
I'll find some indian food
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00:07:45,853 --> 00:07:46,820
that I like eventually.
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00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:48,421
Yeah, if you last that long.
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00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:49,955
What's that supposed to mean?
178
00:07:50,023 --> 00:07:53,291
Look, no offense, but I've
seen it a million times.
179
00:07:53,358 --> 00:07:55,325
Guys get homesick,
they can't hack it here,
180
00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:56,659
so they quit
and go back to the States.
181
00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,995
Well, I don't have
a job to go back to.
182
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,462
I have to make this .
183
00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,631
Well, you better hope you've
got some decent employees.
184
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,799
Aren't all the workers
kind of the same?
185
00:08:04,867 --> 00:08:06,701
Not even close.
186
00:08:06,769 --> 00:08:08,603
There's an "A" team
and a "B" team.
187
00:08:08,670 --> 00:08:10,104
How do you tell
the difference?
188
00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:12,072
Well, that's the "A" team
over there.
189
00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:13,907
They all work for the big boys,
like Intel and app.
190
00:08:13,975 --> 00:08:15,275
They've all been
to the States.
191
00:08:15,343 --> 00:08:16,743
They've even studied
all our different accents.
192
00:08:16,810 --> 00:08:17,943
No way.
193
00:08:18,011 --> 00:08:20,646
Hey, you, come here.
194
00:08:20,713 --> 00:08:22,581
Yes, what is it?
195
00:08:22,649 --> 00:08:23,582
Tell me something.
196
00:08:23,649 --> 00:08:25,083
You know what grits are?
197
00:08:25,151 --> 00:08:27,986
Well, grits is just ground up corn.
198
00:08:28,053 --> 00:08:30,321
I tell you what, my Mama
used to make the best grits.
199
00:08:30,389 --> 00:08:31,422
All right.
200
00:08:31,489 --> 00:08:32,756
I'd be sittin'
on the front porch
201
00:08:32,824 --> 00:08:34,291
with my hound dog, freedom,
sippin' on some sweet...
202
00:08:34,359 --> 00:08:36,059
All right, enough!
203
00:08:36,127 --> 00:08:38,228
Y'all take care.
204
00:08:38,295 --> 00:08:40,263
Creepy, isn't it?
205
00:08:40,331 --> 00:08:41,964
It's like they're pod people
or something.
206
00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:44,666
Is that your group
over there?
207
00:08:44,734 --> 00:08:48,670
Yeah, they probably don't know
squat about America.
208
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,538
Looks like you got
the "B" team, my friend.
209
00:08:50,606 --> 00:08:53,274
I wouldn't unpack
if I were you.
210
00:08:53,342 --> 00:08:56,042
G'day, mate.
211
00:08:56,110 --> 00:08:57,780
That's Tonya.
212
00:08:57,848 --> 00:09:00,193
She runs the call center
for Koala Airlines.
213
00:09:00,261 --> 00:09:01,802
That is some grade "A" Aussie
right there.
214
00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:03,170
She is, uh...
215
00:09:03,238 --> 00:09:05,338
They got that accent,
they're all outdoorsy,
216
00:09:05,406 --> 00:09:07,640
and they're all descended
from convicts.
217
00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:09,809
God, I love Australian women.
218
00:09:09,876 --> 00:09:11,377
So what's her story?
219
00:09:11,444 --> 00:09:12,677
Ah, don't waste your time, man.
220
00:09:12,745 --> 00:09:13,812
I've seen her here for months.
221
00:09:13,879 --> 00:09:15,713
She hasn't said two words to me.
222
00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:17,215
Hi.
223
00:09:18,650 --> 00:09:19,850
I'm guessing
you're a new bloke.
224
00:09:19,918 --> 00:09:22,353
Uh, yeah.
225
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:24,321
I just started today.
226
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:25,656
- Tonya.
- Todd.
227
00:09:25,724 --> 00:09:26,924
Just thought
I'd come and say hi.
228
00:09:26,991 --> 00:09:29,292
You ever need a chat,
just drop by the office.
229
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,094
You need all the mates you can
get out here in woop woop.
230
00:09:31,161 --> 00:09:32,661
Woop woop?
231
00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:34,897
Sorry, that's Aussie for
out in the middle of nowhere.
232
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:37,132
I think you Yanks say
out in the sticks.
233
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:38,433
Oh, no, I like woop woop.
234
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:40,001
It's fun to say.
235
00:09:40,069 --> 00:09:41,203
Woop woop.
236
00:09:42,438 --> 00:09:43,438
Woop woop!
237
00:09:43,506 --> 00:09:45,607
It is fun.
238
00:09:45,675 --> 00:09:47,976
Well, um, cheers.
239
00:10:01,152 --> 00:10:02,585
Oh, no.
240
00:10:02,653 --> 00:10:04,620
Oh, did you read the paper?
There was a...
241
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:05,988
Please don't come in here.
242
00:10:06,056 --> 00:10:07,256
What's the matter with him?
243
00:10:07,323 --> 00:10:09,358
He won't stop talking.
244
00:10:09,425 --> 00:10:11,259
Believe me, you don't want to
get stuck with Gupta.
245
00:10:11,327 --> 00:10:14,428
Oh, yeah, we had a guy like
that back in my old office.
246
00:10:14,496 --> 00:10:15,429
Ed Millner.
247
00:10:15,497 --> 00:10:16,764
He'd never shut up.
248
00:10:16,831 --> 00:10:19,066
You got stuck with him
in the break room, forget it.
249
00:10:19,133 --> 00:10:20,267
You couldn't shake him.
250
00:10:20,334 --> 00:10:21,769
So how did you handle it?
251
00:10:23,939 --> 00:10:25,606
Hello, you...
252
00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:29,176
Where did...
253
00:10:30,811 --> 00:10:32,545
Oh, okay.
254
00:10:34,816 --> 00:10:36,750
Yeah, back home,
we had a bigger pantry.
255
00:10:42,656 --> 00:10:45,557
Do you know any redheads?
256
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,859
Excuse me?
257
00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:49,527
I'm looking for a wife,
258
00:10:49,594 --> 00:10:52,096
and I like redheads.
259
00:10:52,163 --> 00:10:54,464
And blondes.
260
00:10:54,532 --> 00:10:55,899
Dark hair, too.
261
00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:57,967
So, all women?
262
00:10:58,035 --> 00:11:00,436
Yes, all of them.
263
00:11:00,504 --> 00:11:02,738
Well, my ex-girlfriend
was actually a redhead.
264
00:11:02,806 --> 00:11:03,972
- Ex-girlfriend?
- Yeah.
265
00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,006
Did she say no?
266
00:11:05,074 --> 00:11:07,609
Not usually.
267
00:11:07,676 --> 00:11:08,743
Say no to what?
268
00:11:08,811 --> 00:11:10,411
When you asked her
to marry you.
269
00:11:10,479 --> 00:11:12,246
Oh, I didn't ask her
to marry me.
270
00:11:12,314 --> 00:11:13,347
We were just dating.
271
00:11:13,414 --> 00:11:15,081
Dating until
you get married, nah?
272
00:11:15,149 --> 00:11:16,249
No.
273
00:11:16,317 --> 00:11:19,418
No, no, you see, Manmeet,
in America,
274
00:11:19,486 --> 00:11:20,820
you date someone for a while
275
00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:22,721
Before you decide
if you want to get married.
276
00:11:22,789 --> 00:11:24,289
Right?
You date a woman,
277
00:11:24,357 --> 00:11:27,158
it doesn't work out,
you date another one,
278
00:11:27,226 --> 00:11:29,694
and then another one,
and so on.
279
00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:32,363
Okay.
280
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,364
I realize that sounds
kind of meaningless, but...
281
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:36,633
It sounds wonderful.
282
00:11:39,269 --> 00:11:41,604
Did you read that story
in the paper about the inchworms
283
00:11:41,671 --> 00:11:43,139
That are both male and female?
284
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:44,240
No.
285
00:11:44,307 --> 00:11:45,641
They have both
the boy and girl parts,
286
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:46,942
Just like my Auntie Nilu,
287
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:48,943
which comes in handy
when she goes to the cinema,
288
00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:50,478
because she can
use either bathroom.
289
00:11:50,546 --> 00:11:53,147
She can sit, she can stand.
It's a matter of convenience.
290
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:03,955
Aah!
291
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,256
Aah!
292
00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:06,690
The Novelties are here.
293
00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:10,193
Blood puddle.
Page 21.
294
00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:12,062
Sweet.
295
00:12:12,130 --> 00:12:15,666
The key to our success
is selling add-ons.
296
00:12:15,734 --> 00:12:18,369
You know, somebody calls
to buy a product,
297
00:12:18,436 --> 00:12:21,504
we suggest a related product
for them to buy as an add-on.
298
00:12:21,572 --> 00:12:27,877
So let's say somebody calls and
they want to buy this, right?
299
00:12:27,945 --> 00:12:29,778
Green bay packers' colors,
300
00:12:29,846 --> 00:12:33,548
might want to suggest
that they also buy...
301
00:12:33,615 --> 00:12:34,815
A cheese head.
302
00:12:34,883 --> 00:12:36,650
What is a cheese head?
303
00:12:36,718 --> 00:12:39,986
You put this on when
you're roong for the packers.
304
00:12:41,955 --> 00:12:45,023
All right, all right, all right.
305
00:12:45,091 --> 00:12:48,092
Let's not make fun
of each other's headgear, right?
306
00:12:48,159 --> 00:12:49,259
I mean, you guys have got
307
00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:51,260
some pretty crazy-looking hats
yourselves.
308
00:12:55,531 --> 00:12:57,799
Mostly on the women, though.
309
00:12:57,867 --> 00:12:59,000
Sir?
310
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:00,868
Uh, Todd.
311
00:13:00,935 --> 00:13:04,604
Todd, I think
the problem we're having here
312
00:13:04,672 --> 00:13:06,972
is that even if we memorize
the catalog,
313
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:09,908
what we are memorizing
makes no sense to us.
314
00:13:09,976 --> 00:13:11,744
What do you mean,
it doesn't make sense?
315
00:13:11,811 --> 00:13:14,379
Well, for example, here
is the mistletoe novelty.
316
00:13:14,447 --> 00:13:17,382
Even if I memorize
the item number,
317
00:13:17,449 --> 00:13:18,716
that won't help me,
318
00:13:18,784 --> 00:13:20,617
because I don't know
what a mistletoe is.
319
00:13:20,685 --> 00:13:22,085
Okay. Well,
320
00:13:22,153 --> 00:13:24,853
mistletoe is something that you
put up at a Christmas party.
321
00:13:24,921 --> 00:13:27,389
It's like a shrub,
and you hang it in a doorway,
322
00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:31,727
and you wait for a really
hot woman to come along.
323
00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:34,696
You surprise her by standing
next to her under the mistletoe,
324
00:13:34,764 --> 00:13:37,630
and it's a little awkward,
but she has to kiss you...
325
00:13:37,698 --> 00:13:39,131
By law.
326
00:13:39,199 --> 00:13:40,332
- No!
- Mm.
327
00:13:40,399 --> 00:13:44,968
Then what is
this mistletoe belt buckle?
328
00:13:45,036 --> 00:13:47,403
Oh, that's pretty clever.
329
00:13:47,471 --> 00:13:51,606
So you're supposed to kiss
under the mistletoe, right?
330
00:13:51,674 --> 00:13:53,007
So if you wore that,
331
00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:55,878
Someone would have
to kiss you... down there.
332
00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:57,547
Ohh!
333
00:13:57,615 --> 00:13:59,250
This is how you celebrate
the birthday
334
00:13:59,318 --> 00:14:00,918
Of the son of your God?
335
00:14:00,985 --> 00:14:04,254
Americans, we can have fun
and be holy at the same time.
336
00:14:04,322 --> 00:14:05,655
Next question.
337
00:14:05,723 --> 00:14:07,390
Why do Americans need
these things?
338
00:14:07,457 --> 00:14:09,191
Ah. We don't.
339
00:14:09,259 --> 00:14:10,425
Then what is the purpose?
340
00:14:10,493 --> 00:14:12,260
There is no purpose.
341
00:14:12,328 --> 00:14:15,729
In America,
you can do whatever you want.
342
00:14:15,797 --> 00:14:18,732
You could be the President,
or a scientist,
343
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,368
or you could even invent...
344
00:14:22,436 --> 00:14:25,138
novelties like...
345
00:14:25,205 --> 00:14:27,273
What is that, man?
346
00:14:27,341 --> 00:14:29,875
This? This is exactly
what I'm talking about.
347
00:14:29,943 --> 00:14:31,877
See, maybe no one needs this,
348
00:14:31,945 --> 00:14:35,815
but in America, no one can stop
you from making it.
349
00:14:35,882 --> 00:14:38,551
This is the definition
of freedom.
350
00:14:38,619 --> 00:14:39,986
This is "jingle jugs."
351
00:14:44,391 --> 00:14:45,325
Good one.
352
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,294
Oh, here we go, guys.
353
00:14:49,362 --> 00:14:50,595
Todd, I'll take it.
354
00:14:50,663 --> 00:14:53,463
Yeah. Go for it.
Go for it.
355
00:14:54,832 --> 00:14:57,199
Thank you for calling
Mid Novelties.
356
00:14:57,267 --> 00:14:58,333
How can I help you?
357
00:14:58,401 --> 00:15:00,768
Yeah, I want that mug
on page six.
358
00:15:00,836 --> 00:15:01,801
Of course.
359
00:15:01,869 --> 00:15:03,169
Can I please have
the item number?
360
00:15:03,237 --> 00:15:05,304
Oh, yeah.
Uh, okay, let's see.
361
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:08,941
Uh... It's 256-kpr.
362
00:15:09,008 --> 00:15:11,776
That's 256, "k" as in Krishna,
"p" as in Punjabi,
363
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:13,511
"r" as in Ramayana.
364
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,446
Ram-rama-what?
365
00:15:15,514 --> 00:15:18,382
Where am I calling?
366
00:15:18,449 --> 00:15:19,716
Is this India?
367
00:15:19,784 --> 00:15:20,984
No.
368
00:15:21,052 --> 00:15:22,585
Am I calling freakin' India
to get a mug
369
00:15:22,653 --> 00:15:24,153
that says "America's #1"?
370
00:15:24,221 --> 00:15:26,255
No.
371
00:15:26,323 --> 00:15:27,723
We're in Detroit,
372
00:15:27,791 --> 00:15:29,391
city of motors
and black people.
373
00:15:31,427 --> 00:15:33,028
Okay.
374
00:15:33,095 --> 00:15:35,363
Well, let's, um...
375
00:15:35,430 --> 00:15:36,564
Let's take a five.
376
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,332
Rajiv, can I...?
377
00:15:40,668 --> 00:15:42,702
I have a question
about the workers.
378
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:44,503
Don't worry, sir,
I have a plan.
379
00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:46,805
I've hired one employee
specifically to be fired.
380
00:15:48,408 --> 00:15:50,242
This will scare the others
into working harder.
381
00:15:50,309 --> 00:15:51,876
No, no, no,
I'm not gonna fire someone
382
00:15:51,944 --> 00:15:53,177
just to make
the others scared.
383
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:54,978
She doesn't
belong here anyway.
384
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:56,313
She is of a lower caste.
385
00:15:56,381 --> 00:15:58,283
Yeah, well, my question
is about all the workers.
386
00:15:58,351 --> 00:16:00,752
I mean...
387
00:16:00,819 --> 00:16:03,988
Are these really the best
workers that you could find?
388
00:16:04,055 --> 00:16:06,090
Sir,
389
00:16:06,157 --> 00:16:07,991
are you suggesting
I hired lesser employees
390
00:16:08,059 --> 00:16:08,992
to make you look bad?
391
00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,259
No, of course not.
392
00:16:10,327 --> 00:16:11,794
Why would you do that?
393
00:16:11,861 --> 00:16:13,128
I mean, if I can't make
this office work,
394
00:16:13,196 --> 00:16:15,729
they're gonna get rid of me.
395
00:16:15,797 --> 00:16:17,831
In which case,
they will need a new manager.
396
00:16:17,899 --> 00:16:19,833
Perhaps they'll try a local.
397
00:16:19,900 --> 00:16:22,268
Rajiv, I thought you were
on my side.
398
00:16:22,336 --> 00:16:23,836
I thought
my success was your success.
399
00:16:23,903 --> 00:16:25,303
It is.
400
00:16:25,371 --> 00:16:27,205
But also, your failure
is my success.
401
00:16:27,272 --> 00:16:29,674
Either way,
I'm rooting for you.
402
00:16:29,741 --> 00:16:31,142
Big fan.
403
00:16:31,209 --> 00:16:32,744
Big fan.
404
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:56,147
I've always wanted a pet.
405
00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,616
Bad dog!
406
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,083
Rover.
407
00:16:59,151 --> 00:17:00,485
Okay, guys.
408
00:17:01,754 --> 00:17:03,154
It's a farting garden gnome.
409
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,456
It's pretty cool, huh?
410
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,491
Okay, here's the deal.
411
00:17:08,559 --> 00:17:10,093
So Asha was right.
412
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,927
Even if you guys memorize
the catalog,
413
00:17:11,995 --> 00:17:14,862
you're not really getting
the cultural stuff.
414
00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:17,931
So it's time you guys learned
about America.
415
00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:21,534
Put that coffee down!
416
00:17:21,602 --> 00:17:24,170
Coffee's for closers only.
417
00:18:07,773 --> 00:18:08,774
No.
418
00:18:08,842 --> 00:18:10,244
- No, just, just...
- what?
419
00:18:10,311 --> 00:18:12,214
We're just... no.
420
00:18:13,786 --> 00:18:16,219
All right, these phones
are gonna start ringing soon,
421
00:18:16,287 --> 00:18:19,922
and we have to do better
than yesterday, all right?
422
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:22,658
We have to start pushing
those add-ons,
423
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,292
or we're all gonna be
out of a job.
424
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:28,159
Look, we may not be
the cream of the crop.
425
00:18:28,227 --> 00:18:30,529
We're more like
the bad news bears.
426
00:18:32,801 --> 00:18:34,468
No one knows who
the bad news bears were?
427
00:18:34,536 --> 00:18:38,572
Sir, I would venture to say
that they are bears,
428
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,675
who, when they come into town,
it is very bad news indeed.
429
00:18:41,743 --> 00:18:43,076
No.
430
00:18:43,144 --> 00:18:44,812
Because they are bears.
431
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,347
No.
432
00:18:46,414 --> 00:18:48,182
Who wants a bear
in their village?
433
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:50,751
No, Rajiv, it's a movie.
434
00:18:50,819 --> 00:18:54,021
It's a movie about a baseball
team with a bunch of losers.
435
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:56,824
Are we the losers
in this story?
436
00:18:56,892 --> 00:18:58,226
Yes.
437
00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:01,062
No. No! No, no.
438
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:02,764
Because my point
is that everyone
439
00:19:02,832 --> 00:19:04,232
thought they were losers
440
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:07,101
until they proved
people wrong,
441
00:19:07,169 --> 00:19:10,271
and that is exactly
what you are gonna do.
442
00:19:10,339 --> 00:19:11,806
So, by the end of today,
443
00:19:11,874 --> 00:19:15,375
I want everyone,
and I mean everyone,
444
00:19:15,443 --> 00:19:18,143
to sell one add-on.
445
00:19:18,211 --> 00:19:20,309
Or what?
446
00:19:20,377 --> 00:19:22,809
There is no "or what,"
447
00:19:22,876 --> 00:19:24,944
'cause I believe
you're gonna do it.
448
00:19:25,012 --> 00:19:28,147
Sir, if you
like the beer helmet,
449
00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:29,982
we also have a t-shirt
which says,
450
00:19:30,049 --> 00:19:32,150
"beer makes
my clothes fall off."
451
00:19:32,218 --> 00:19:35,220
I'm wearing one right now.
452
00:19:35,287 --> 00:19:37,121
No, you're a liar.
453
00:19:37,189 --> 00:19:39,256
Let me read that item number
back to you.
454
00:19:39,324 --> 00:19:41,125
That's 732-grf.
455
00:19:41,192 --> 00:19:42,559
"g" as in goodfellas,
456
00:19:42,627 --> 00:19:43,927
"r" as in raging bull,
457
00:19:43,995 --> 00:19:46,663
"f" as in...
Forgetaboutit.
458
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:52,134
Sir, we have that in stock.
459
00:19:52,202 --> 00:19:53,468
Many of our customers
who bought
460
00:19:53,536 --> 00:19:54,903
our confederate flag
shot glasses
461
00:19:54,971 --> 00:19:57,472
also purchased a deer head
which you can mount on the wall.
462
00:19:57,539 --> 00:19:59,640
Why would I mount a deer
I didn't shoot?
463
00:19:59,708 --> 00:20:02,642
Because this deer sings
Sweet home Alabama.
464
00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:05,389
Okay,
now, that's funny.
465
00:20:05,459 --> 00:20:07,025
Your cheese heads
are on the way.
466
00:20:07,093 --> 00:20:10,294
Okay, who hasn't
sold an add-on yet?
467
00:20:22,203 --> 00:20:24,170
Mid America Novelties,
how can I help you?
468
00:20:24,238 --> 00:20:25,938
Hello?
469
00:20:26,006 --> 00:20:27,473
How can I help you?
470
00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:30,475
Hello? Hello!
471
00:20:30,542 --> 00:20:32,910
Is anyone there?
472
00:20:32,977 --> 00:20:34,311
Hello!
473
00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:36,412
How can I help you?
474
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,247
Hi. Yeah, I'd like to order
the fake dog poo.
475
00:20:40,315 --> 00:20:42,048
Wonderful choice.
476
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,517
Yeah, my roommate's really
getting on my nerves, you know.
477
00:20:44,585 --> 00:20:45,951
I just wanna freak him out.
478
00:20:46,019 --> 00:20:48,186
In that case,
could I also interest you
479
00:20:48,254 --> 00:20:51,358
in our fake vomit on page 23,
lower left hand of the page?
480
00:20:51,426 --> 00:20:55,063
Mm, I don't know.
This vomit, does it look real?
481
00:20:55,131 --> 00:20:57,499
Well, it makes me sick
to look at it.
482
00:20:57,566 --> 00:20:59,634
Hmm.
483
00:20:59,701 --> 00:21:01,535
Okay. Yeah, sure, fine.
Why not?
484
00:21:01,603 --> 00:21:02,670
I'll get the vomit, too.
485
00:21:02,737 --> 00:21:05,605
Okay!
486
00:21:05,673 --> 00:21:08,007
I knew you could do it.
I knew it.
487
00:21:08,075 --> 00:21:09,475
Why are people clapping?
488
00:21:09,543 --> 00:21:11,410
Oh, get the credit card info.
489
00:21:11,477 --> 00:21:13,345
Oh, sir?
490
00:21:13,412 --> 00:21:15,280
How would you like to pay
for your vomit and your poo?
491
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:24,453
So you survived another day.
492
00:21:24,521 --> 00:21:26,322
Yeah.
493
00:21:26,390 --> 00:21:29,291
Looks like you're stuck
with me for a while.
494
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:30,659
I guess so.
495
00:21:42,002 --> 00:21:43,636
Just for morale,
you know?
496
00:21:45,205 --> 00:21:46,272
Go for it.
497
00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:47,606
Yeah.
498
00:22:06,654 --> 00:22:12,654
{fade}Corrections by Linus75
Sync by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com
34440
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