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00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:02,800
♪♪ [THEME SONG]
2
00:00:02,802 --> 00:00:05,703
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪
3
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:08,039
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪
4
00:00:08,041 --> 00:00:10,408
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪
5
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:12,143
♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪
6
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:13,412
♪ Turtle power ♪
7
00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:14,479
♪ They're the world's ♪
8
00:00:14,481 --> 00:00:16,214
♪ Most fearsomefighting team ♪
9
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,216
We're really hip.
10
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:20,652
♪ They're heroesin the half shell ♪
11
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:22,053
♪ And they're green ♪
12
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,855
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪Hey, get a grip!
13
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,924
♪ When the evil Shredderattacks ♪
14
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:28,760
♪ These turtle boysdon't cut him no slack ♪
15
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,562
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪
16
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:34,098
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪
17
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,767
♪ Splinter taught themto be ninja teens ♪
18
00:00:36,769 --> 00:00:38,903
He's a radical rat.
19
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:40,004
♪ Leonardo leads ♪
20
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:42,140
♪ Donatello does machines ♪
21
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:43,875
That's a fact, Jack.
22
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,544
♪ Raphael is cool,but rude ♪
Gimme a break.
23
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:49,647
♪ Michelangelois a party dude ♪
24
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:52,149
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪
25
00:00:52,151 --> 00:00:54,686
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪
26
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:57,222
♪ Teenage MutantNinja Turtles ♪
27
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,690
♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪
28
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,425
♪ Turtle power ♪
29
00:01:09,735 --> 00:01:12,370
How much longer is
this gonna take, dude?
30
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:16,207
I keep telling you,
Michelangelo, you
can't rush genius.
31
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,076
Especially such
a humble one.
32
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,311
Just one final adjustment,
33
00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:21,813
and, voila,
34
00:01:21,815 --> 00:01:24,549
112 different channels
to choose from.
35
00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:29,588
[RAPHAEL]
Perfect picture, Donatello.
36
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,189
And just in time for my
favorite program,
37
00:01:32,191 --> 00:01:34,592
Lifestyles of the Brilliantand Scholarly.
38
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:37,529
You gotta be kiddin'.
I'd rather watch
a test pattern.
39
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,464
Get serious, dudes!
40
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:43,401
The Banana SlugThat Slimed Detroit
is about to start!
41
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:46,170
What? And miss
the kickboxing
tournament?
42
00:01:46,172 --> 00:01:51,176
Definitely. My brain's
dialed in for a truly
bodacious flick.
43
00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:53,744
Now, me? I'd rather have
a few giggles.
44
00:01:53,746 --> 00:01:55,880
I say we tune in
to the Laugh Channel.
45
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:58,616
Guys, there's
only one fair way
to settle this.
46
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,218
We'll draw straws.
47
00:02:02,354 --> 00:02:05,256
The short straw gets
to watch his program.
48
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:10,595
Bummer.
49
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,430
All right!
50
00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:15,032
Here, Raphael.
Happy viewing.
51
00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:20,872
Come on. Aren't you guys
gonna watch the Laugh Channel
with me?
52
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:22,974
They're doing a show
from the House of Ha-Ha.
53
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:27,011
Are you kidding? I get
my daily quota of bad jokes
just hanging around you.
54
00:02:27,013 --> 00:02:28,847
Anyone interested
in some pizza?
55
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,916
Totally triumphant
suggestion, dude.
56
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:38,590
Sore losers!
57
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:41,325
Now, to enjoy some
heavy-duty yucks.
58
00:02:43,295 --> 00:02:45,797
Speaking of girls,I once dated this girl
59
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,966
who had a strange growthon her neck.
60
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,300
It was her head!
It was her head!
61
00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:53,104
[LAUGHTER ON TV]
62
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,508
That's not all.She sprayed so muchmousse in her hair,
63
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,542
she grew antlers.
She grew antlers.
64
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,911
[LAUGHTER ON TV]
65
00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:06,350
Oh, man, I'd bet I could be
a great stand-up comic,
66
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:09,287
if I weren't so busy protecting
the world from evildoers.
67
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:11,990
Speaking of my girlfriend,the other day she--
68
00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:15,260
What the heck?
69
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:19,797
[AUDIENCE BOOING ON TV]
70
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:22,633
[CHUCKLES]That Joey, huh?
71
00:03:22,635 --> 00:03:24,802
Always leaves 'emwantin' more.
72
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:28,139
Well, that's weird.
No comic quits in
the middle of a joke.
73
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,340
Not even a bad one.
74
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,542
[TRANSMITTER BEEPS]
Raphael here.
75
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:34,011
Raphael, I got a reportthat something strange
76
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:35,646
is going on atthe House of Ha-Ha.
77
00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:37,715
It seems that comediansare disappearing
78
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,384
right in the middleof their act!
79
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,552
I know, April.
I just saw it on the tube.
80
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,621
The club's justa few blocks fromyour lair.
81
00:03:43,623 --> 00:03:45,189
Could you guyscheck it out for me?
82
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:47,525
Well, I'm the only one here,
but that's no problem.
83
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:51,128
If anyone can crash that club,
it's yours truly.
84
00:03:52,831 --> 00:03:54,331
[CROWD LAUGHING
IN DISTANCE]
85
00:03:56,368 --> 00:03:59,937
That comedy club should be
right around here someplace.
86
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:02,540
[CROWD LAUGHING]
87
00:04:04,175 --> 00:04:06,611
Aha! It's the Ha-Ha!
88
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:14,152
♪♪ [LOUNGE]
89
00:04:14,154 --> 00:04:15,486
What a sewer.
90
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,655
Then again, some of
my best friends live
in a sewer.
91
00:04:17,657 --> 00:04:19,657
Hey, waiter!
You in the green suit!
92
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:21,459
Where's that pizza
I ordered?
93
00:04:29,268 --> 00:04:31,069
Well, you said heavy
on the anchovies.
94
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:34,672
[CROWD LAUGHING]
95
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:41,112
I can watch what's going on
from here without being seen.
96
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,680
Uh, you here
for the tryouts?
97
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:46,350
Uh, no, no, I'm one
of the stage hands.
98
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,086
[CROWD LAUGHING]
99
00:04:50,655 --> 00:04:53,591
Oh, here's a man
who looks like he's
going places.
100
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,927
And the sooner the better.
[DRUM HIT]
101
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,329
[CROWD LAUGHING]
102
00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,832
Lady, I never forget a face,
103
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,967
but in your case,
I'll make an exception.
104
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,269
[DRUM HIT]
[LAUGHING]
105
00:05:05,271 --> 00:05:07,304
Oh, this guy is the pits.
106
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:08,906
Even I could do better
than that.
107
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:12,910
Oh, when your parents had you,
they sure hit the "jerkpot".
108
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,413
[SLIDE WHISTLE BLOWS,
DRUM HIT]
[CROWD LAUGHING]
109
00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,081
[MAN GRUNTS]
110
00:05:18,383 --> 00:05:19,951
[CROWD PROTESTING]
111
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,318
[DRUMROLL]
112
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,287
Okay, you're on next.
113
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:24,989
Now get out there quick!
114
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,625
No way! It's one thing
to die on stage.
115
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:30,995
It's another thing
to disappear.
116
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,197
What am I gonna do now?
117
00:05:33,199 --> 00:05:35,633
This crowd is mean enough
to riot,
118
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:39,003
or worse yet,
ask for their money back.
119
00:05:40,539 --> 00:05:42,540
Oops.
Great!
120
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:44,542
There's still
one more comic left!
121
00:05:44,544 --> 00:05:47,312
All right, kid.
Now get out there
and knock 'em dead.
122
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,980
Wait! I'm a turtle.
123
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:52,817
Now, that's okay.
Every comic's gotta
have a gimmick.
124
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:55,019
But-- But-- I--
♪♪ [COMIC FANFARE]
125
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:59,124
Folks, our next performer
is brand-new to the comedy game.
126
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:02,727
In fact, you might say
he's totally green.
127
00:06:02,729 --> 00:06:03,694
[DRUM HIT]
[CROWD LAUGHING]
128
00:06:05,731 --> 00:06:07,932
All right, kid.
I warmed 'em up for you.
129
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,367
Now, break a leg!
Whoa!
130
00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:17,374
Oh, boy.
Looks like I was saved
by the shell.
131
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:18,710
[DRUM HIT]
132
00:06:21,079 --> 00:06:23,748
I, uh--
I just celebrated
my birthday.
133
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:26,484
I was born under
the sign of Aquarium.
134
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:27,484
[DRUM HIT]
[CROWD LAUGHING]
135
00:06:32,524 --> 00:06:34,826
[LAUGHTER ON TV]
He'll be sorry he didn't
come with us, Raphael.
136
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:38,229
You missed some
stupenduloso pizza, dude.
137
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,098
Where is Raphael anyway?
138
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:44,035
[LAUGHTER]
I don't know, but he forgot
to turn off the TV set.
139
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:46,971
I'll have to talk to him
about it when he gets back.
140
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:50,975
Hey, you know what hasa hard shell, green skinand purple feet?
141
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:53,077
A turtle who makeshis own grape juice!
142
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:55,746
[DRUM HIT][CROWD LAUGHING]
143
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,048
[LEONARDO]
Raphael?
144
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:59,884
Doing stand-up?
At a comedy club?
145
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:03,020
[ALL]
I don't believe it!
146
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:06,424
Okay, you know what you getwhen you cross a turtlewith a gorilla?
147
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,661
I don't know, either,but you better get outof its way!
148
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,863
[DRUMROLL]
[CHUCKLES]
It's Raphael!
149
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,398
And he's really good!
150
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,032
Oh, he's good all right...
151
00:07:15,034 --> 00:07:17,601
at making a total fool
of himself.
152
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:20,471
Why, Vernon,
I think you're jealous.
153
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,506
Jealous? Me?
[SCOFFS]
154
00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:24,641
I can make people
laugh, too, you know.
155
00:07:24,643 --> 00:07:26,443
Whoa!
[SCREAMS]
156
00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:29,313
[CHUCKLES]
You certainly can, Vernon.
157
00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,148
[LAUGHING]
158
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:33,551
[CHUCKLES]Bear with me, folks.
159
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:34,919
I've got a frogin my throat,
160
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:36,988
and I'm afraidI might croak!
161
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:40,291
[DRUM HIT]
[CROWD LAUGHING]
162
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,160
Please, Mr. McFingers,
you gotta stop making
163
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,262
my comics disappear
like that.
164
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,997
It's ruining my business.
165
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,732
Yeah? That's too bad.
166
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,368
Please, if you
want comedians,
167
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,403
why not just call
their agents?
168
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,772
Are you asking me
or telling me?
169
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:57,174
I'm, uh... begging you?
170
00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:58,809
Well, here's my answer.
171
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,612
Get him!
You sure, Pinky?
172
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,180
Yeah, I'm sure.
173
00:08:03,182 --> 00:08:04,816
You're the boss.
174
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,285
[CROWD LAUGHING]
175
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,120
But I just wanna say--
176
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:09,921
Oh!
177
00:08:15,527 --> 00:08:18,329
What happened to Raphael?
I don't know.
178
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,264
He was in the middle
of a joke when,
179
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:23,734
all of a sudden,
the lights went out.
180
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:25,303
[CROWD PROTESTING]That's itfor tonight, folks!
181
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:27,104
I'm glad youenjoyed the show.
182
00:08:27,106 --> 00:08:30,842
[CROWD]Hey! Boo!
183
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,811
[TRANSMITTER BEEPS]
Yes, April.
184
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:36,114
Donatello, I'm worriedabout Raphael.
185
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:38,917
He's at the House of Ha-Ha,and he might be in trouble.
186
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,020
We saw his act on TV, April.
It wasn't that bad.
187
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,422
You guys better getover there on the double!
188
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,090
Fellas, let's haul shell.
189
00:08:53,698 --> 00:08:56,701
Come on. Come on, you guys.
What's taking so long?
190
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,037
This guy's putting up
quite a struggle...
191
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,005
for a comic.
192
00:09:02,908 --> 00:09:06,477
[MCFINGERS]
Okay, head for the hideout.
[ENGINE STARTS]
193
00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:09,213
[DONATELLO]
Leonardo, are you sure
you know where you're going?
194
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,514
[LEONARDO]
Just follow me.
195
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:13,317
I know this sewer system
like the back of my hand.
196
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,919
The House of Ha-Ha
is definitely this way.
197
00:09:15,921 --> 00:09:17,454
[GRUNTS]
198
00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:19,256
Or is it that way?
199
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:22,860
I've got a feeling
we're in deep muck.
200
00:09:22,862 --> 00:09:25,597
[APRIL]
Please, Chief, you've
just gotta let me cover
201
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,865
these mysterious
disappearances at
the House of Ha-Ha.
202
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:29,900
Ha-ha, forget it, April.
203
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:33,237
Nobody cares about a bunch
of third-rate comedians.
204
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,873
I'm assigning you
to a really big story:
205
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:39,377
an infestation of gypsy moths
at the botanical gardens.
206
00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:42,347
They're really playing heck
with the azalea bushes.
207
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,982
Gypsy moths?
Azalea bushes?
208
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,884
I'm talking about people.
209
00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:49,620
And I'm talking
about your job!
210
00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:52,757
The real reason she's
so anxious to cover
this story
211
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,760
is because her weird
Turtle friends are involved.
212
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,695
The Turtles? Ooh!
213
00:09:57,697 --> 00:10:00,498
I'm still paying off bills
from the last story
214
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,633
involving those
green menaces!
215
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:05,102
Now, you and Vernon get
over to the gardens,
216
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,904
and that's an order.
217
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,273
Whatever you say, Boss.
218
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:11,742
Better take
this insect repellant.
219
00:10:11,744 --> 00:10:14,979
You never know what trouble
you might run into.
220
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,415
[VERNON]
April, you're driving
in the wrong direction!
221
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,784
The botanical gardens
are that way!
222
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,419
I know, but we're going
to the House of Ha-Ha.
223
00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:26,157
But Burne distinctly
ordered you to stay away
from that place.
224
00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:29,060
Vernon, you're really
starting to bug me.
225
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,894
Now, you can cover
the botanical garden story
[TIRES SCREECHING]
226
00:10:30,896 --> 00:10:32,196
by yourself.
227
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:33,530
In my book,
228
00:10:33,532 --> 00:10:36,200
turtles are a lot more important
than a bunch of moths.
229
00:10:41,473 --> 00:10:43,307
[RAPHAEL]
How'd I get into this fix?
230
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,009
My routine couldn't
have been that bad.
231
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,678
Those goons may have
taken away my dignity,
232
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,815
but they didn't take
away my sai.
233
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,783
[MCFINGERS]
Get the funny man
out of the trunk.
234
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,785
Uh, right, Boss.
235
00:10:58,323 --> 00:10:59,657
Uh, it's empty.
236
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,791
Just like your heads!
237
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,931
Haven't you guys heard?
Give a turtle enough rope,
[BLOWS LANDING]
238
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,133
and he'll tie you up.
239
00:11:10,369 --> 00:11:12,270
Hey, what do you think
you're doing?
240
00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:15,406
A good boss ought
to be close to his men.
241
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,808
Now, to see what
these bozos are up to.
242
00:11:22,013 --> 00:11:24,415
So this is where
you guys disappeared to.
243
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:28,952
Oh, great. Fabulous.
We're being rescued here
by the Jolly Green Turtle.
244
00:11:28,954 --> 00:11:31,122
Never mind him.
Just get us outta here.
245
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:34,325
I heard of a captive audience,
but never a captive performer.
246
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,594
That's pretty funny.
Consider it stolen.
247
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,329
[MCFINGERS]
You, in the turtle suit!
248
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,531
I'll teach you
to tie me up.
249
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,867
You better just
come along quietly.
250
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,836
Well, if it's all the same
to you, I'd rather make
a lot of noise.
251
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:48,206
Ha-ha! Woo-hoo!
252
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,106
[RAPHAEL CACKLING]
253
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,574
[CABLE SNAPPING]
[SHOUTS]
254
00:11:51,944 --> 00:11:53,344
[MAN]
I got you!
255
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:56,114
For a guy who's supposed
to be funny,
256
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,315
you're in serious trouble.
257
00:12:04,823 --> 00:12:07,091
Mr. Bigelow?
I'm April O'Neil
258
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:08,792
from Channel Six News.
Beat it.
259
00:12:08,794 --> 00:12:11,862
I don't need
some nosey reporter
snooping around here.
260
00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:15,199
I want to talk to you
about the comedians
who've been disappearing.
261
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:18,836
Look, are you gonna walk
out of here, or am I
gonna throw you out?
262
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:22,206
Don't be rude, dude.
That's no way to talk
to a lady!
263
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:25,076
You're the guy
in the cheap turtle suit.
264
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:28,745
How'd you get away
from Pinky McFingers
and his goons?
265
00:12:28,747 --> 00:12:32,416
Cheap turtle suit?
I resemble that remark.
266
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:36,220
Oh, now I get it.
You guys are an improv group.
267
00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:38,189
Open auditions
are on Wednesdays.
268
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:41,759
We're not here to audition.
We're here to find our friend.
269
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:45,729
And we've got a feeling
you know something about
how he disappeared.
270
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:49,166
Yeah, he did it like this.
[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]
271
00:12:50,802 --> 00:12:52,570
Now he's disappeared, too.
272
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:55,006
Mondo disaster, dudes!
273
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:57,908
Now we'll never find out
where Rafael is.
274
00:13:03,014 --> 00:13:04,915
I don't know what
you're up to, McFingers,
275
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,650
but you won't get
away with it.
276
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:10,922
You ought to be flattered.
You're gonna take part in
a scientific experiment.
277
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,158
Ooh! Experiment?
[RAPHAEL]
Don't worry, Joey.
278
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,594
This guy doesn't look like
a scientific genius to me.
279
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:20,464
I don't have to be.
I can buy brains.
280
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,767
Come on out, Professor.
281
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,568
[RAPHAEL]
Baxter Stockman!
282
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:25,736
What are you doing here?
283
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:28,072
I am not Baxter!
284
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,706
Baxter is my brother!
285
00:13:29,708 --> 00:13:31,675
I'm Barney Stockman!
286
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:32,910
Barney!
287
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:35,546
Well, that's incredible.
You look just like him.
288
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:38,215
I'm sick and tired
of everyone telling me that.
289
00:13:38,217 --> 00:13:39,750
I'm much better looking.
290
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:43,621
My brother botched an experiment
and turned himself into a fly.
291
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:46,324
Tell me! Do I look like
an insect to you?
292
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,159
Do my eyes bug out?
293
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,261
Can I walk on ceilings?
294
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,463
I don't know.
I never seen your act.
295
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:55,165
Okay, Professor.
Cut the temper tantrum,
296
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,567
and let's get on with it.
297
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:58,302
Uh, get on with what?
298
00:13:58,304 --> 00:13:59,903
Gentlemen!
299
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:03,574
You are about
to witness the effects
of my latest invention,
300
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,343
the gagamagnifier!
301
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,947
Gagamagnifier?
302
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:14,952
It increases the comedy power
of jokes by 6,000 percent!
303
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:17,989
Oh, I sure could have used
this thing last night.
304
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,590
Yeah. Where can I buy one?
305
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,758
I'm hoping to have it
in stores by Christmas.
306
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,160
Forget all that.
307
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:24,495
Tell them how it works.
308
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,930
We take a really
funny comedian,
309
00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:29,100
hook him up
to the gagamagnifier,
310
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:32,603
and project his super-enhanced
jokes throughout the city!
311
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:36,841
Reducing the citizens
to helpless hysteria!
312
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:40,110
And while the poor jerks
are rolling around on
the ground laughing,
313
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:42,579
me and the boys swipe
whatever we want.
314
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:46,416
And now, to determine
which of you three
is the funniest.
315
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,719
I can't believe
this is happening.
316
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:49,987
This is too bizarre...
317
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:51,522
even for a cartoon.
318
00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,958
Aw, don't waste your time
with a test.
319
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,492
Just hook me up.
320
00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:58,495
You? You couldn't
get a laugh out of
a ticklish hyena.
321
00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:00,264
Oh, yeah?
Your jokes are so old
322
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:02,399
they get on the bus
for half fare.
323
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,868
Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
324
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,169
We'll let the laugh meter
325
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:06,970
decide who's the funniest.
326
00:15:06,972 --> 00:15:10,207
Okay, you bozos,
it's show time.
327
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:13,544
You, gagameister,
make me laugh.
328
00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,346
Okay, here it goes.
329
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:18,449
You know how to find
a head on a worm?
330
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,651
You tickle it in the middle
and see which end laughs.
331
00:15:21,653 --> 00:15:23,421
[ELECTRONIC WARBLING]
332
00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:27,858
That was a real groaner.
333
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:31,228
Okay, funny man,
now it's your turn.
334
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,697
Wait'll you hear this one.
It'll kill ya.
335
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:36,000
I just met the meanest guy
in the whole world.
336
00:15:36,002 --> 00:15:38,535
He bought a homing pigeon,
and then he moved!
337
00:15:43,408 --> 00:15:46,910
A giggle.
Close but no cigar.
338
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,880
Okay, Mr. Greenjeans,
your turn.
339
00:15:49,882 --> 00:15:51,815
All right.
Here goes nothing.
340
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,884
And I do mean nothing.
341
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,220
You know the best place
to raise turtles?
342
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,154
In an elevator.
343
00:16:03,761 --> 00:16:06,730
Bingo! We found our subject!
344
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:09,699
Congratulations, kid.
You got the job.
345
00:16:09,701 --> 00:16:12,702
Are you totally nuts?
That's the worst joke
I ever heard!
346
00:16:12,704 --> 00:16:15,773
I think you and your
invention both have
a couple of screws loose.
347
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:19,443
The machine works fine,
and you're the one
it picked.
348
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,044
Whoopee. Lucky me.
349
00:16:21,046 --> 00:16:22,579
Do you believe it?
350
00:16:22,581 --> 00:16:25,015
They actually picked
that yo-yo in the turtle
skin over me.
351
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,684
Or better yet, over me!
352
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,185
I'm warning you, McFingers.
353
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,287
You can lead a turtle
to a gagamagnifier,
354
00:16:30,289 --> 00:16:31,555
but you can't
make him joke.
355
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:34,391
What exactly does that mean?
356
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:37,728
It means I refuse to be part
of your vicious scheme.
357
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,096
Oh, yeah?
Professor?
358
00:16:39,098 --> 00:16:41,498
Show our little green friend
what'll happen
359
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,401
to his buddies
if he don't cooperate.
360
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,270
With the greatest
of pleasure.
361
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,908
[BOTH SCREAMING]
362
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:53,677
Okay. Stop. You win!
I'll do it.
363
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,279
[MEN SCREAMING]
[MACHINE POWERING DOWN]
364
00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,719
I knew you'd
see it my way.
365
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,555
All right, young man.
It's show time.
366
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:07,224
You know what you get
if you cross a turtle
with a mousetrap?
367
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:08,925
A snapping turtle.
368
00:17:08,927 --> 00:17:11,928
You know why turtles
can't become electricians?
369
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:13,330
They get shell shocked.
370
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,865
I have a great memory.
371
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,435
You might say I haveturtle recall.
372
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,970
[LAUGHING]
373
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:22,173
[LAUGHING]
374
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:26,743
It's working.
It's working!
375
00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:29,213
Okay, let's get rolling.
376
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:33,083
Wait! If you're going
out there, you'd better
put on these gag masks.
377
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:37,020
They'll protect you against
the effects of the joke waves.
378
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:42,359
Okay, guys, time
to take advantage
of a helpless population.
379
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:44,728
[RAPHAEL]Know what you calla turtle in a steam bath?
380
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,298
A turtle neck sweater.
381
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,033
It's not easy fora turtle to get a job.
382
00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:51,835
No one wants to shellout the money.
383
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,338
Attention, all citizens.Be on the alert for
384
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:57,508
an insidious joke wavethat's approachingour city.
385
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,343
[RAPHAEL]I'm a turtle,and my doctor's a duck.
386
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:03,180
I'm beginning to thinkhe's a real quack.
387
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:04,381
A real quack.
388
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,149
[LAUGHING]
389
00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:09,986
[RAPHAEL]I've never seena man-eating shark,
390
00:18:09,988 --> 00:18:12,356
but I have seena turtle eating pizza!
391
00:18:16,527 --> 00:18:20,531
Hey, Boss, I thought
the Mona Lisa was supposed
to be smiling...
392
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,399
not laughing.
393
00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:24,001
[RAPHAEL]You know a turtle'sfavorite pasta?
394
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,102
Turtlini!
395
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,871
This is so frustrating.
396
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:30,240
We can hear Raphael,
but we don't know where
they've taken him.
397
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,342
Don't sweat, dudette.
We'll find him.
398
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:36,213
It's a lucky thing
I installed a sound wave
modifier in the Turtle van.
399
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:39,283
Without it, we'd all
be helpless with laughter
by now.
400
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:43,387
From Raphael's jokes?
Gimme a break!
They're not that funny.
401
00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:47,291
I agree, but someone
is magnifying their
laughability factor.
402
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,461
That club owner mentioned
a Pinky McFingers.
403
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,562
All we have to do
is find him.
404
00:18:52,564 --> 00:18:56,934
Lots of luck, Leonardo.
The police have been looking
for his hideout for years.
405
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,937
[PHONE RINGING]
Uh-oh, it's my boss.
406
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,839
Hi, Chief.
407
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,308
April, we go on the air
in five minutes.
408
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,544
Where's that botanical
gardens footage?
409
00:19:06,546 --> 00:19:08,712
I'm afraid I didn't
get any, Mr. Thompson.
410
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:11,081
I've been following
an even bigger story.
411
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:15,819
You what?
You deliberately
disobeyed my orders?
412
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,122
[RAPHAEL]Some people thinkturtles are poisonous.
413
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:20,958
I bite my nailsall the time,and I'm fine.
414
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,193
Why I ought to-- to...
[CHUCKLES]
415
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,529
assign you to writing...
[LAUGHS]
416
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,565
cue cards for the weather man!
[LAUGHING]
417
00:19:30,402 --> 00:19:33,537
Gosh, Chief, uh,
I'm glad you're
taking it so well.
418
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:36,473
Hold everything, gang.
I think I'm on to something.
[BEEPING]
419
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:37,941
Well, like what, dude?
420
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,477
Well, I matched
an old voice print
of Raphael's
421
00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:41,778
to this tracking device,
422
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:43,380
and I'm getting a reading.
423
00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,849
[BEEPING]
[APRIL]
Look, there he is!
424
00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,352
Hang tight,
little green bud!
425
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,887
We're on our way!
426
00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,425
Hey, everybody!
It worked!
427
00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:58,629
My gagamagnifier
is a success!
428
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,464
It sure is, Professor.
429
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:04,868
Hey, Boss, what do we do
with these priceless
masterpieces?
430
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,337
Toss them in the corner
where they won't get damaged.
431
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:08,405
Right, Boss.
432
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,278
Okay, now that you've got
what you've wanted,
433
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,646
how about letting us go?
434
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,114
No way.
435
00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:20,217
Plundering the city
was just small-time,
local stuff.
436
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,652
Now we're going nationwide.
437
00:20:22,654 --> 00:20:24,388
What are you talking about?
438
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:28,192
You got 24 hours to come up
with some brand-new jokes.
439
00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:32,362
Tomorrow, we're gonna
knock off the National Mint.
440
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:34,198
[DONATELLO]
You'll have
to get by us first!
441
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,034
More turtle comedians!
442
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:42,172
Go home, you guys.
This one's already
got the job.
443
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:44,908
You guys must have gotten
the real deal on those suits.
444
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,311
We're not comedians,
445
00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:49,813
but we always have
the last laugh!
446
00:20:49,815 --> 00:20:51,981
Take care of
these clowns.
447
00:20:51,983 --> 00:20:54,050
No! Allow me!
448
00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:56,853
It's Baxter Stockman!
449
00:20:56,855 --> 00:21:00,324
The fly dude?
What's buzzin', cousin?
450
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:02,626
Aw, you shouldn't have
said that, Michelangelo.
451
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:03,893
It really bugs him.
452
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:07,431
How many times
must I tell people?
453
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,167
I'm not Baxter!
I'm Barney!
454
00:21:17,975 --> 00:21:20,244
What's... happening?
455
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:24,748
It's some sort
of paralyzing ray.
456
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:30,620
Okay, now, take 'em.
[CHUCKLES]
457
00:21:30,622 --> 00:21:33,857
Looks like your pals
are about to get roughed up
by those gorillas.
458
00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:35,058
There's still a chance.
459
00:21:39,664 --> 00:21:42,666
Shecky, your jokes are
the only thing that can
save us now.
460
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:45,502
Uh-oh we're
in big trouble.
461
00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:47,203
My jokes? Save us?
462
00:21:47,205 --> 00:21:49,172
Trust me.
Just go into your act.
463
00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:52,042
Yeah, yeah. My brother
broke his arm in two places.
464
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,210
If I were him,
I'd stay out of those places.
465
00:21:57,282 --> 00:22:00,818
Know why the ocean roars?
You'd roar, too, if you
had lobsters in your bed.
466
00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:06,990
Speaking of fish,
aren't sardines stupid?
467
00:22:06,992 --> 00:22:09,759
They lock themselves
in the can, then they
leave the key outside.
468
00:22:13,364 --> 00:22:14,864
This is the hideout, Sergeant.
469
00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:20,970
It's Pinky McFingers,
all right.
470
00:22:20,972 --> 00:22:22,572
We finally got him.
471
00:22:22,574 --> 00:22:25,242
April! How'd you
ever find this place?
472
00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:27,944
You might say we followed
your laugh track.
473
00:22:31,015 --> 00:22:33,951
[RAPHAEL]
Okay, guys, you have to listen
to the new routine I just wrote.
474
00:22:33,953 --> 00:22:36,487
I open with this
really dynamite joke.
475
00:22:36,489 --> 00:22:39,122
You know what's green
then yellow then green
then yellow?
476
00:22:39,124 --> 00:22:42,058
A yellow-bellied turtle
rolling down a hill!
477
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:45,962
[TURTLES PROTESTING]
478
00:22:45,964 --> 00:22:47,598
Watch it, guys.
479
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,334
I can buy Stockman's
gagamagnifier real cheap.
480
00:22:50,336 --> 00:22:54,137
You do, and we'll buy
the House of Ha-Ha's trapdoor.
481
00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:58,041
[TURTLES LAUGHING]
482
00:23:30,541 --> 00:23:33,477
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