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1
00:00:00,901 --> 00:00:02,357
Hi, ready to order?
2
00:00:02,359 --> 00:00:04,275
Do you have anything
that's really special?
3
00:00:04,277 --> 00:00:07,529
Not according to my
high school guidance counselor.
4
00:00:07,531 --> 00:00:09,397
I'll have the veggie plate.
5
00:00:09,399 --> 00:00:11,366
But instead of beets, I want kale.
6
00:00:11,368 --> 00:00:13,868
And instead of broccoli, more kale.
7
00:00:13,870 --> 00:00:15,370
I want the veggies steamed.
8
00:00:15,372 --> 00:00:17,105
And instead of dressing,
I want lemons.
9
00:00:17,607 --> 00:00:19,541
Don't you need to write this down?
10
00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:21,376
I'm afraid if I start
writing that down,
11
00:00:21,378 --> 00:00:24,662
it'll turn into a suicide note.
12
00:00:24,664 --> 00:00:26,081
I'm assuming this table's gonna have
13
00:00:26,083 --> 00:00:27,716
a lot more of those requests.
14
00:00:27,718 --> 00:00:30,752
Yes, I could tell by the hats.
15
00:00:40,713 --> 00:00:43,932
Earl, I have something new
I want you to try.
16
00:00:43,934 --> 00:00:45,850
That's the exact same sentence
17
00:00:45,852 --> 00:00:48,803
that got me hooked
on cocaine in the '80s.
18
00:00:48,805 --> 00:00:51,239
It's my new cupcake flavor.
19
00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:54,826
Delicious dark chocolate
the ladies can't help but love.
20
00:00:54,828 --> 00:00:57,028
I'm calling it "The Earl."
21
00:00:57,030 --> 00:00:59,914
I know you got that right.
22
00:00:59,916 --> 00:01:01,166
Hi, I'm here.
23
00:01:01,168 --> 00:01:03,317
I was running late
so I decided to hail a cab.
24
00:01:03,319 --> 00:01:05,486
And then I remembered I didn't
have any money on me.
25
00:01:05,488 --> 00:01:07,872
And then I remembered
I didn't have any money at all.
26
00:01:07,874 --> 00:01:10,542
So I walked the whole way here.
27
00:01:10,544 --> 00:01:12,794
The apartment's three blocks away.
28
00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:13,845
Yes, I know.
29
00:01:13,847 --> 00:01:16,330
Three blocks
and 15 "Hola chicas" away.
30
00:01:16,332 --> 00:01:18,883
Well, you can't be late again.
31
00:01:18,885 --> 00:01:20,802
I'm already worried
about me being late...
32
00:01:20,804 --> 00:01:23,004
every month.
33
00:01:23,006 --> 00:01:26,057
On my way here, a homeless man
asked me for money.
34
00:01:26,059 --> 00:01:28,476
And I told him
that I usually always give,
35
00:01:28,478 --> 00:01:30,945
but that my father was indicted
in a Ponzi scandal
36
00:01:30,947 --> 00:01:33,948
and I've lost my family fortune
and my Manhattan townhouse,
37
00:01:33,950 --> 00:01:36,350
so I've been sleeping
on a couch in Brooklyn,
38
00:01:36,352 --> 00:01:38,319
but, in spite of it all,
I'm still optimistic
39
00:01:38,321 --> 00:01:40,071
that you and I will achieve success
40
00:01:40,073 --> 00:01:42,857
in our exciting new cupcake
business venture.
41
00:01:42,859 --> 00:01:45,326
And look what he gave me!
42
00:01:45,328 --> 00:01:48,079
You took money from a homeless man?
43
00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:50,415
I prefer to think
of Bob near the bridge
44
00:01:50,417 --> 00:01:52,000
as our first investor.
45
00:01:52,002 --> 00:01:54,886
Pickup! Special sandwich.
46
00:01:54,888 --> 00:01:57,255
I can think
of even more special sandwich.
47
00:01:57,257 --> 00:02:01,893
You, me and the hot blonde giraffe.
48
00:02:01,895 --> 00:02:04,562
Well, she recently lost her dignity,
49
00:02:04,564 --> 00:02:06,197
so you might have a shot.
50
00:02:06,199 --> 00:02:09,267
Hello today!
51
00:02:09,269 --> 00:02:10,935
I have nametag for you.
52
00:02:10,937 --> 00:02:13,905
Only your second day
and look, nametag already.
53
00:02:13,907 --> 00:02:16,524
As new owner, I am killing it.
54
00:02:16,526 --> 00:02:17,558
Thank you.
55
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:18,993
Oh, it says "Carolin."
56
00:02:18,995 --> 00:02:20,945
It's Caroline. With an "E."
57
00:02:20,947 --> 00:02:22,730
I'm Caroline.
58
00:02:22,732 --> 00:02:25,250
As new owner, I am sucking it.
59
00:02:25,252 --> 00:02:27,235
Just put it on.
60
00:02:27,237 --> 00:02:28,920
You can't tell an Asian
he made a mistake.
61
00:02:28,922 --> 00:02:31,890
He'll go in the back
and throw himself on a sword.
62
00:02:31,892 --> 00:02:33,541
Thank you, Mr. Lee.
63
00:02:33,543 --> 00:02:34,926
You may call me Han.
64
00:02:34,928 --> 00:02:36,544
H-a-n.
65
00:02:36,546 --> 00:02:38,463
No trap in my name.
66
00:02:38,465 --> 00:02:40,765
I'm thinking we should take
67
00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:43,017
the first step
in our new cupcake business
68
00:02:43,019 --> 00:02:45,086
by writing "Max's Homemade Cupcakes"
69
00:02:45,088 --> 00:02:46,421
up on the specials board.
70
00:02:46,423 --> 00:02:48,089
No, I can't have my name up there.
71
00:02:48,091 --> 00:02:51,276
Everyone I owe money to
thinks I live in Seattle.
72
00:02:51,278 --> 00:02:55,530
Oh, we used to own Seattle.
73
00:02:55,532 --> 00:02:57,782
Max, we've got to get
the name out there.
74
00:02:57,784 --> 00:02:58,816
Create a buzz.
75
00:02:58,818 --> 00:02:59,901
Ooh, good idea!
76
00:02:59,903 --> 00:03:00,818
Let's create a buzz.
77
00:03:00,820 --> 00:03:02,086
Exactly, in order to launch...
78
00:03:02,088 --> 00:03:04,572
I'm mocking you.
79
00:03:04,574 --> 00:03:06,457
When in doubt, I'm always mocking you.
80
00:03:06,459 --> 00:03:07,959
Seriously, Max.
81
00:03:07,961 --> 00:03:10,328
This new cupcake business
is our lifeline.
82
00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:12,080
A way out for both of us.
83
00:03:12,082 --> 00:03:15,083
And I wanna thank you again
for letting me move in.
84
00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:17,335
If there's anything
I can do to help you...
85
00:03:17,337 --> 00:03:20,004
You mean besides
starting to wait on tables?
86
00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:21,422
I meant, anything I can do
87
00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:24,058
to help you through
your breakup with Robbie.
88
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:27,478
Oh. Thanks, but I'm fine.
89
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:28,546
And we're working.
90
00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:30,932
Well, one of us is.
91
00:03:30,934 --> 00:03:32,784
Are you sure you're fine?
92
00:03:32,786 --> 00:03:34,986
'Cause I heard you crying last night.
93
00:03:34,988 --> 00:03:36,321
I don't cry.
94
00:03:36,323 --> 00:03:40,825
I sold my tear ducts to an organ
bank for cash two years ago.
95
00:03:40,827 --> 00:03:42,393
I was on the couch.
96
00:03:42,395 --> 00:03:45,246
And I heard you crying alone
in your bedroom.
97
00:03:45,248 --> 00:03:48,082
Really?
What did the crying sound like?
98
00:03:48,084 --> 00:03:49,684
Like...
99
00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:56,207
I wasn't crying.
100
00:03:56,209 --> 00:03:57,425
Well, then what were you d...
101
00:03:57,427 --> 00:04:00,995
Oh! So none of my business.
102
00:04:00,997 --> 00:04:03,464
That's right. And remember that.
103
00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:04,832
Got it.
104
00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,134
In fact, let's just say
that anything having to do
105
00:04:06,136 --> 00:04:09,020
with my bedroom, my tables,
or my life...
106
00:04:09,022 --> 00:04:10,104
you should stay away from.
107
00:04:10,106 --> 00:04:11,505
Boundaries. Got it.
108
00:04:11,507 --> 00:04:15,176
And please don't tell anyone at work
109
00:04:15,178 --> 00:04:16,678
I let you move into my apartment.
110
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,180
That is one boundary
we both don't want crossed.
111
00:04:19,182 --> 00:04:21,149
Why?
112
00:04:21,151 --> 00:04:23,151
Hey, roomies.
113
00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:25,336
That's why.
114
00:04:31,783 --> 00:04:33,115
Hope those sheets are okay.
115
00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:34,357
Oh, don't worry about it.
116
00:04:34,477 --> 00:04:35,892
I know they're the best
you could afford.
117
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:39,677
Not really.
The good ones are on my bed.
118
00:04:39,679 --> 00:04:41,929
Max, that oven is so hot.
119
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:44,248
Could you do me a favor
and open the back door?
120
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:45,349
We've known each other two days
121
00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,751
and you're already
asking for back door?
122
00:04:55,193 --> 00:04:57,194
Dear God!
123
00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,530
I forgot you're Equestrian Barbie.
124
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:02,216
You came with a horse.
125
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,035
No.
126
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,937
Out, horse, bad! Bad horse.
127
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:12,827
Chestnut.
128
00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:16,213
No need to yell, he's a champion.
129
00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:18,165
Champion stink bomb.
130
00:05:18,167 --> 00:05:20,251
It's smelling pretty ripe
out in that yard.
131
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:23,387
That's not Chestnut, that's Brooklyn.
132
00:05:23,389 --> 00:05:25,789
Okay, well, I'm watching
"The Champion"
133
00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:31,095
drop some steaming hot
"Brooklyn" right now.
134
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:34,215
Max, I've been thinking about
how you completely overreacted
135
00:05:34,217 --> 00:05:36,233
to your name up on the specials board.
136
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:38,269
Do you think it's a fear of success?
137
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:41,822
I am too poor
to have a fear of success.
138
00:05:41,824 --> 00:05:43,441
At Wharton Business School, we learned
139
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,910
that every new venture can bring
up a certain amount of fear.
140
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:48,079
Is there any way to do a yelp review
141
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,364
of Wharton Business School?
142
00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:53,701
Maybe you're having
a hard time imagining
143
00:05:53,703 --> 00:05:55,669
this cupcake business
could ever even happen
144
00:05:55,671 --> 00:05:59,006
because nobody ever believed
in you or your dreams.
145
00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:00,241
I'm guessing.
146
00:06:00,243 --> 00:06:03,160
I can make this happen, Max.
147
00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:05,496
For me, for you, for us.
148
00:06:05,498 --> 00:06:07,631
Just keep making
those amazing cupcakes.
149
00:06:07,633 --> 00:06:10,334
And I'll do the rest till you believe.
150
00:06:10,336 --> 00:06:11,802
I believe everything you just said
151
00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:15,022
and that children are the future.
152
00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:36,277
Max, it's me!
153
00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:39,363
I know it's you.
154
00:06:39,365 --> 00:06:41,382
You sleep with a knife
under your pillow?
155
00:06:41,384 --> 00:06:45,669
It's the only home security
system I can afford.
156
00:06:45,671 --> 00:06:47,871
And I'm a cutter.
157
00:06:47,873 --> 00:06:50,558
I can't sleep on that couch.
158
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:54,728
I think Ikea might be the
Scandinavian word for sciatica.
159
00:06:54,730 --> 00:06:57,214
And there's weird sounds
in the street.
160
00:06:57,216 --> 00:06:59,567
And I don't have
my white noise machine.
161
00:06:59,569 --> 00:07:01,185
Well, that's Puerto Rican noise.
162
00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,386
You'll get used to it.
163
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:05,656
Can I just lay down here
and get a little sleep?
164
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:08,576
I don't even let the men
I sleep with sleep with me.
165
00:07:08,578 --> 00:07:11,328
I can't get into
your issues right now.
166
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,364
I just need to sleep!
167
00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:17,001
Fine, get in then.
168
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,536
What is that?
169
00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:22,173
Potato chips. I sleep-eat.
170
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,658
Cool ranch and bacon?
171
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:26,743
Dude, they're delicious.
172
00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,846
Because of your breakup with Robbie?
173
00:07:28,848 --> 00:07:30,130
Just get in.
174
00:07:30,132 --> 00:07:33,384
I have to be in the city
to babysit in five hours.
175
00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:40,257
Oh, great, you're like a nightlight.
176
00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:45,029
You're so blonde.
177
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:47,731
Thank you.
178
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:53,454
Max, someone's in the living room.
179
00:07:53,456 --> 00:07:56,123
Max, someone's in the bedroom!
180
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:57,541
Robbie!
181
00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,343
What's up, babe?
182
00:07:59,345 --> 00:08:01,045
Robbie, what are you doing here?
183
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,446
We broke up.
184
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:04,415
Still?
185
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,300
Yes, still. You hit on me.
186
00:08:06,302 --> 00:08:08,052
And then she caught you
with someone else
187
00:08:08,054 --> 00:08:09,453
in these very sheets.
188
00:08:09,455 --> 00:08:12,339
Which I'm hoping she washed.
189
00:08:12,341 --> 00:08:13,557
Oh, I get it.
190
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:16,227
You blew me off
'cause you like the ladies.
191
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,929
Which is cool. I like the ladies, too.
192
00:08:18,931 --> 00:08:21,565
And right now,
it's the two ladies I like.
193
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,567
Robbie, if I were gonna go lesbian,
194
00:08:23,569 --> 00:08:27,187
she would be the last "les"
I'd "bian."
195
00:08:27,189 --> 00:08:28,822
Listen, babe...
196
00:08:28,824 --> 00:08:29,973
You really hurt her.
197
00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:31,075
Stop.
198
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:34,078
She sleep-eats trans fats
thanks to you.
199
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:36,146
Here, stuff all of these
in your mouth.
200
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:40,817
Got it, your thing. I'll be quiet.
201
00:08:40,819 --> 00:08:42,836
Robbie, this isn't cool at all.
202
00:08:42,838 --> 00:08:44,988
Mm-mm.
203
00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,157
Showing up here after what you did?
204
00:08:47,159 --> 00:08:48,992
You go, girl.
205
00:08:48,994 --> 00:08:52,296
I have something to say to you
and you had better listen.
206
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:56,333
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
207
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:59,670
What are you, the relationship ghost?
208
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,138
Robbie, just go!
209
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:04,108
I can't say what I need to in
front of the relationship ghost.
210
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,943
I'll call you to come get your stuff
211
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,061
and we can talk then.
212
00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:08,345
Leave the key.
213
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:12,449
Straight up, Max,
you're breaking my heart.
214
00:09:12,451 --> 00:09:15,569
You're the only woman
that I feel this way about.
215
00:09:19,407 --> 00:09:21,825
Here.
216
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:24,078
Ladies, I don't know
what's going on here,
217
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:27,298
but it would've been
a lot sexier if I was in it.
218
00:09:30,302 --> 00:09:32,636
Are you okay?
219
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:35,038
If you wanna talk, I'm here.
220
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,225
Can I get a hit off that?
221
00:09:43,715 --> 00:09:47,384
You think these are good?
222
00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:50,504
God, we're poor.
223
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:56,777
Morning!
224
00:09:56,779 --> 00:09:58,395
It's a beautiful day.
225
00:09:58,397 --> 00:10:02,016
These shades belong down.
226
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,118
From now on, think of me as a vampire
227
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,870
without all the annoying marketing.
228
00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:08,122
Bad news.
229
00:10:08,124 --> 00:10:10,708
A pipe broke in the street
so the water's off.
230
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:13,460
Good news, when I went out
to get us two coffees,
231
00:10:13,462 --> 00:10:16,747
I spoke to Juan and Javier,
two city workers.
232
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:19,850
And they assured me the water'll
be on no later than 3:00.
233
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:21,301
I also stopped
at the health food store
234
00:10:21,303 --> 00:10:23,087
and got us
a fresh-squeezed juice to split.
235
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,855
It's ginger-apple-strawberry.
236
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,089
That was the name of the hooker
237
00:10:26,091 --> 00:10:29,393
who had this apartment before me.
238
00:10:31,262 --> 00:10:32,563
What is this?
239
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:33,981
From me.
240
00:10:33,983 --> 00:10:36,200
It says "Thanks for letting me
sleep in your bed last night."
241
00:10:36,202 --> 00:10:39,737
I prefer my usual cash
on the bedside table.
242
00:10:39,739 --> 00:10:42,773
When I went to the cute coffee place,
243
00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:45,108
I spoke to the counter girl,
Nabulangi...
244
00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:47,878
If someone named Nabulangi
is making an appearance
245
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,863
in the first sentence,
I have to sit down.
246
00:10:49,865 --> 00:10:52,949
And she said
her manager'll be in at 11:00.
247
00:10:52,951 --> 00:10:55,452
So I thought I'd chanel it up,
248
00:10:55,454 --> 00:10:56,620
walk on over there,
249
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:59,289
introduce myself
and your fabulous cupcakes.
250
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:02,509
That's exactly what I was gonna do.
251
00:11:02,511 --> 00:11:05,262
I'm just gonna go say good-bye
to Chestnut and get going.
252
00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,147
You know, having only one cute outfit
253
00:11:07,149 --> 00:11:12,586
takes hours off getting dressed.
254
00:11:12,588 --> 00:11:16,356
Oh. That is a lot of fresh Brooklyn.
255
00:11:16,358 --> 00:11:17,808
Morning, Chestnut.
256
00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:19,777
It's a beautiful...
257
00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:23,980
No. Way.
258
00:11:34,159 --> 00:11:38,712
Look, Chanel Number Two.
259
00:11:38,714 --> 00:11:42,332
Tell me it's mud.
260
00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,000
T-tell me it's mud.
261
00:11:44,002 --> 00:11:46,520
It's mud?
262
00:11:46,522 --> 00:11:47,938
What is that?
263
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:51,358
A carrot?
264
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,561
There's carrots in the mud?
265
00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,701
There's no water.
266
00:12:00,703 --> 00:12:03,070
Oh, get it off me, please.
267
00:12:03,072 --> 00:12:04,071
Please do something.
268
00:12:04,073 --> 00:12:06,206
Just get it off me, get it off me.
269
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:07,241
Stop!
270
00:12:07,243 --> 00:12:08,692
This is dry-clean only.
271
00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:10,861
Max, please, please take me
272
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,914
somewhere they have
a hot shower, I beg of you.
273
00:12:13,916 --> 00:12:15,367
Calm down, it's just mud.
274
00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:16,884
Max, please...
275
00:12:16,886 --> 00:12:19,470
Don't touch me!
276
00:12:24,801 --> 00:12:26,668
Thank you so much
for taking me to shower
277
00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:27,853
at your babysitting job.
278
00:12:27,855 --> 00:12:29,704
Well, I didn't have much of a choice.
279
00:12:29,706 --> 00:12:32,140
You pulled the pillow knife on me.
280
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:33,341
I'll just introduce myself
to your boss
281
00:12:33,343 --> 00:12:35,326
and tell her what happened.
282
00:12:35,328 --> 00:12:36,344
Look, I don't want Peach
to know you were here.
283
00:12:36,346 --> 00:12:38,463
This is a job. Not a meet-and-greet.
284
00:12:38,465 --> 00:12:39,664
Got it.
285
00:12:39,666 --> 00:12:41,183
You get in there, you
take a five-minute shower,
286
00:12:41,185 --> 00:12:42,667
clean it up and go.
287
00:12:42,669 --> 00:12:45,287
Fine, I'll hide in the
hallway till she's gone.
288
00:12:45,289 --> 00:12:48,690
No need, just follow me in.
She never really looks at me.
289
00:12:48,692 --> 00:12:50,025
Morning!
290
00:12:50,027 --> 00:12:52,644
Hi, Max.
291
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,313
Go!
292
00:12:55,315 --> 00:12:56,347
Hey, Peach.
293
00:12:56,349 --> 00:12:58,233
Uh, hair and makeup.
294
00:12:58,235 --> 00:12:59,484
What's the big occasion?
295
00:12:59,486 --> 00:13:01,736
Pilates.
296
00:13:01,738 --> 00:13:03,855
Max, good news.
297
00:13:03,857 --> 00:13:06,791
They found a way
to make diamonds more sparkly?
298
00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:10,662
I got Brad and Angelina a playdate
299
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,964
with another set of
twins in the building.
300
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,299
It starts in five minutes.
301
00:13:14,301 --> 00:13:15,417
Cool, what are their names?
302
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:17,535
6B.
303
00:13:17,537 --> 00:13:19,504
Bye-bye, Brangelina.
304
00:13:19,506 --> 00:13:20,972
Mommy loves you.
305
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:23,058
Guys? Before you leave,
306
00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:24,309
stop at this one.
307
00:13:24,311 --> 00:13:25,710
Angelina could use a little help.
308
00:13:25,712 --> 00:13:28,730
Contour that neck, she's a fatty.
309
00:13:28,732 --> 00:13:30,515
Peach, come on, that's baby fat.
310
00:13:30,517 --> 00:13:33,018
Still, kids can be cruel.
311
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:35,820
Don't you listen
to your mommy, Angelina.
312
00:13:35,822 --> 00:13:37,989
She never eats.
313
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:41,159
Oh, no, she doesn't.
314
00:13:43,162 --> 00:13:44,546
Here it is.
315
00:13:44,548 --> 00:13:46,031
Caroline with an "E."
316
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,232
I have your new and correct nametag.
317
00:13:48,234 --> 00:13:49,618
Oh, thank you, Han.
318
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,570
Oh.
319
00:13:52,572 --> 00:13:54,789
I've seen something I should not have.
320
00:13:54,791 --> 00:13:58,409
I will just put correct nametag
here on counter.
321
00:13:58,411 --> 00:14:02,881
So sorry, but many thank you's.
322
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,382
What are you doing?
323
00:14:04,384 --> 00:14:06,601
I know you said
you don't want it up there.
324
00:14:06,603 --> 00:14:08,586
But now that you see it...
325
00:14:08,588 --> 00:14:10,272
How does it feel?
326
00:14:10,274 --> 00:14:11,856
It feels like
you're not listening to me
327
00:14:11,858 --> 00:14:13,358
at this job or at my other job.
328
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,277
I said a five-minute shower
and get out.
329
00:14:15,279 --> 00:14:16,861
Did you take a nap at Peach's?
330
00:14:16,863 --> 00:14:18,446
The thread count was calling to me.
331
00:14:18,448 --> 00:14:21,232
Peach found blonde hairs in her bed
332
00:14:21,234 --> 00:14:23,201
and thought her husband
was cheating on her.
333
00:14:23,203 --> 00:14:25,987
Which he is, but that's not the point.
334
00:14:25,989 --> 00:14:28,657
You almost ruined
a perfectly happy fake marriage,
335
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,325
and there are
innocent children involved.
336
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,827
Well, I have some good news.
337
00:14:32,829 --> 00:14:34,446
Look, it's Nabulangi.
338
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,464
I invited her in
to taste your amazing cupcakes.
339
00:14:36,466 --> 00:14:39,084
And when she loves them,
we'll have an in at her bakery.
340
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,669
Come over and say hello.
341
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:42,954
No, I can't now. I wanna call
Robbie before we get too busy.
342
00:14:42,956 --> 00:14:44,639
Tell him when to come over
and get his stuff.
343
00:14:44,641 --> 00:14:45,840
Max, wait.
344
00:14:45,842 --> 00:14:47,409
No, don't distract me.
345
00:14:47,411 --> 00:14:49,060
I wanna sound cool and hot
and all like,
346
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,963
"You can't have me anymore, sucka."
347
00:14:51,965 --> 00:14:53,064
Max...
348
00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,649
Robbie, it's me.
349
00:14:54,651 --> 00:14:57,819
Classy burp on your outgoing message.
350
00:14:57,821 --> 00:14:59,137
Max, I...
351
00:14:59,139 --> 00:15:00,188
No.
352
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:02,073
I need you to come
get your stuff tomorrow.
353
00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:03,692
I don't know how you've been surviving
354
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:06,861
without your chin-up bar
and Axe body spray.
355
00:15:06,863 --> 00:15:07,829
Max, hang up.
356
00:15:07,831 --> 00:15:10,281
I already called him.
357
00:15:10,283 --> 00:15:12,334
You called Robbie?
358
00:15:12,336 --> 00:15:13,418
You've done so much for me.
359
00:15:13,420 --> 00:15:15,253
I wanted to do something for you, too.
360
00:15:15,255 --> 00:15:16,755
So I called Robbie
and I had him come over,
361
00:15:16,757 --> 00:15:18,206
and I gave him his stuff.
362
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:20,458
Now you won't have to go through
with all that mess.
363
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:24,162
And I think you'd be pleased,
I really let him have it.
364
00:15:24,164 --> 00:15:27,498
What is with you and boundaries?
365
00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:29,184
You're in my bed,
you're in my boss' bed,
366
00:15:29,186 --> 00:15:30,635
and now you go and call Robbie?
367
00:15:30,637 --> 00:15:32,437
You're like...
you're like your big-ass horse.
368
00:15:32,439 --> 00:15:34,338
Charging in everywhere
you don't belong.
369
00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:36,507
I thought I was doing you a favor.
370
00:15:36,509 --> 00:15:39,444
In spite of what you say
about the sounds I heard
371
00:15:39,446 --> 00:15:40,895
coming from your bedroom
the other night,
372
00:15:40,897 --> 00:15:42,530
I know you're upset.
373
00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:46,184
I was masturbating.
374
00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:50,321
I love my job.
375
00:15:50,323 --> 00:15:53,675
I need to see you outside. Now.
376
00:15:53,677 --> 00:15:55,710
Don't get involved with her.
377
00:15:55,712 --> 00:15:57,695
She takes money from the homeless.
378
00:15:57,697 --> 00:15:59,748
Not true, Bob's an investor.
379
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:00,965
Be right back.
380
00:16:00,967 --> 00:16:04,169
Good cupcake, right?
381
00:16:07,139 --> 00:16:08,673
Max, I don't know how smart that was,
382
00:16:08,675 --> 00:16:11,309
blowing by our only potential
business contact.
383
00:16:11,311 --> 00:16:14,679
You stole my breakup scene.
384
00:16:14,681 --> 00:16:16,564
The only remotely good thing
about breaking up with a guy
385
00:16:16,566 --> 00:16:18,549
is telling him how much better
you are than him
386
00:16:18,551 --> 00:16:20,235
when you give him back his stuff.
387
00:16:20,237 --> 00:16:21,853
I don't know if you noticed,
388
00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:23,738
but my entertainment budget
is pretty low
389
00:16:23,740 --> 00:16:25,490
and I was really
looking forward to that.
390
00:16:25,492 --> 00:16:28,026
And then you went and stole it.
391
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:29,577
But I guess you couldn't help it,
392
00:16:29,579 --> 00:16:32,380
'cause that's what you Channings
do, you steal things.
393
00:16:33,565 --> 00:16:35,083
Huh.
394
00:16:35,085 --> 00:16:36,501
Interesting.
395
00:16:36,503 --> 00:16:39,337
Okay, you wanted a breakup scene?
396
00:16:39,339 --> 00:16:40,538
You're in one.
397
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,873
I'm breaking up with you.
398
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:43,074
Oh, okay.
399
00:16:43,076 --> 00:16:45,543
The cupcake business is over,
the dream is dead.
400
00:16:45,545 --> 00:16:48,579
Oh, I'm sure Nabulangi
will be devastated.
401
00:16:48,581 --> 00:16:51,266
I don't need you
or your cupcakes to survive.
402
00:16:51,268 --> 00:16:52,467
I'll figure something else out.
403
00:16:52,469 --> 00:16:55,270
Because, aside from your
constant Wharton putdowns,
404
00:16:55,272 --> 00:16:56,688
I'm a business genius
405
00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:58,556
and I will always land on my feet.
406
00:16:58,558 --> 00:16:59,858
Oh, really?
407
00:16:59,860 --> 00:17:02,110
'Cause today you kind of
landed on your front.
408
00:17:02,112 --> 00:17:03,812
We're done.
409
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:06,097
After work tonight,
I'll get my things and be gone.
410
00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:08,450
Ooh, you gonna load up
your dream-filled wheelie bag
411
00:17:08,452 --> 00:17:11,102
and ride away on sir muds-a-lot?
412
00:17:11,104 --> 00:17:13,988
Go ahead. Be as negative as you want.
413
00:17:13,990 --> 00:17:16,092
'Cause you're in charge
of your own future again.
414
00:17:16,212 --> 00:17:18,975
Oh, joke's on you.
I don't have a future.
415
00:17:31,673 --> 00:17:32,940
Max...
416
00:17:32,942 --> 00:17:34,709
Are you up?
417
00:17:34,711 --> 00:17:36,444
No.
418
00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:39,096
Max, are you mad?
419
00:17:39,098 --> 00:17:40,097
Yes.
420
00:17:40,099 --> 00:17:42,883
Are you up and mad?
421
00:17:42,885 --> 00:17:45,353
No and yes.
422
00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,805
Oh, your bed's so soft.
423
00:17:47,807 --> 00:17:51,309
That's my boob.
424
00:17:51,311 --> 00:17:54,779
I know I moved out, but I came back.
425
00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:57,264
I took the rest of our dead dream money
426
00:17:57,266 --> 00:18:00,284
and bought some cocktails
for myself and some people.
427
00:18:00,286 --> 00:18:02,570
And myself.
428
00:18:02,572 --> 00:18:04,205
Did you bring me back any of those?
429
00:18:04,207 --> 00:18:06,490
'Cause I can't listen to this sober.
430
00:18:06,492 --> 00:18:08,909
Max...
431
00:18:08,911 --> 00:18:12,246
I have nothing.
432
00:18:12,248 --> 00:18:15,082
I really need the cupcake business.
433
00:18:15,084 --> 00:18:18,285
I can be different.
434
00:18:18,287 --> 00:18:19,537
No, you can't.
435
00:18:19,539 --> 00:18:22,423
No, I can't.
436
00:18:22,425 --> 00:18:26,010
But I can be better.
437
00:18:26,012 --> 00:18:27,461
Please?
438
00:18:27,463 --> 00:18:30,231
Please, let's do this.
439
00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:32,433
I know you have a fear of success.
440
00:18:32,435 --> 00:18:36,136
You do, because no one
ever believed in your dreams.
441
00:18:36,138 --> 00:18:39,807
But I believe in your dreams.
442
00:18:39,809 --> 00:18:41,826
We have a dream.
443
00:18:41,828 --> 00:18:44,311
God, you are so drunk.
444
00:18:44,313 --> 00:18:48,249
So you probably
won't even remember this.
445
00:18:48,251 --> 00:18:53,054
I'm sorry I said that
stuff about your father.
446
00:18:53,056 --> 00:18:54,755
Did you hear me?
447
00:18:54,757 --> 00:18:58,492
Max, are you up?
448
00:18:58,494 --> 00:19:04,432
Hey, do you have any more
of those poor people chips?
449
00:19:05,834 --> 00:19:07,869
What's up, hangover three?
450
00:19:08,671 --> 00:19:09,937
Why are these up?
451
00:19:09,939 --> 00:19:13,441
I thought we were vampires.
452
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:16,560
Here, I took the rest
of last night's cupcake money,
453
00:19:16,562 --> 00:19:20,498
and brought you a coffee
and a fresh juice.
454
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,733
Which means that,
after two days in business,
455
00:19:22,735 --> 00:19:26,153
we are $23 down from where we were.
456
00:19:26,155 --> 00:19:29,740
So we're still building
our cupcake business?
457
00:19:29,742 --> 00:19:30,958
Sure.
458
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:32,960
All we need is how much?
459
00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:35,496
$250,000.
460
00:19:35,498 --> 00:19:38,466
Which is awesome.
461
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:41,752
Max, I'm sorry
I crossed all those boundaries.
462
00:19:41,754 --> 00:19:42,970
It's cool.
463
00:19:42,972 --> 00:19:44,922
Me and drunk Caroline
worked it all out.
464
00:19:44,924 --> 00:19:46,924
In fact...
465
00:19:46,926 --> 00:19:49,205
She signed this paper.
466
00:19:51,898 --> 00:19:55,833
"I, drunk Caroline, am a..."
467
00:19:55,835 --> 00:19:57,651
What's that word?
468
00:19:57,653 --> 00:19:59,511
Punk ass ho.
469
00:20:00,656 --> 00:20:02,106
Thanks.
470
00:20:02,108 --> 00:20:05,659
"I, drunk Caroline, am a punk ass ho.
471
00:20:05,661 --> 00:20:08,162
"I promise to keep my big mouth shut,
472
00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:11,082
"and replace all
of Max's poor people chips.
473
00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:17,070
I will no longer meddle
in her relation-chips."
474
00:20:17,072 --> 00:20:20,424
You laughed about that
until you threw up.
475
00:20:20,426 --> 00:20:21,709
Oh, and if you're wondering,
476
00:20:21,711 --> 00:20:24,962
no, the puke stains
will not void this contract.
477
00:20:28,249 --> 00:20:29,798
God!
478
00:20:31,086 --> 00:20:33,437
I forgot again that we have a horse.
479
00:20:33,439 --> 00:20:34,939
Max, get him out of here.
480
00:20:34,941 --> 00:20:36,687
He doesn't know I'm a waitress.
481
00:20:39,896 --> 00:20:40,939
Chestnut.
482
00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:47,368
He is a champion.
483
00:20:47,370 --> 00:20:49,154
He learned that a lot
faster than you did.33818
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