All language subtitles for Alone.S13E07.720p.h264.eng

Cold is coming.

I need to be ready.

Right now, it should be
prime-time moose hunting.

If we get a moose,
we win this competition.

There's not a doubt
in my mind.

Oh, God,

a dead beaver.

There's a live beaver there.
Dead beaver there.

Whoa.
What do I do?

If I can honor him,
then I believe

that he is worth taking.

I'm not ready to give up.

I have to try
and get this beaver.

Holy.

Snow.

I have food.

It is now
a different environment.

Other than I haven't pooped
in a long time,

I feel like
I have enough energy.

Camp is officially done.
Camp Ukalaitchaq.

I'm in to win this thing, man.

- Yes!

To get another
full-size adult beaver,

to have that fat there...

Thank you!

I don't need
to have big game.

Let's go!
Let's go!

I can go deep into
this competition.

Your heart rate's
decreased to a point

where it's now critically low.

It's necessary
to medically extract you.

I gave my best.

I hope the people
around the world

can see that I never quit.

I am humble enough
to understand that failure

is part of the process.

Ooh, that's hot.

The hot water bath--

I got this T-shirt here.

It was one of
my clothing items.

I cut it in half.

We're gonna dip
that T-shirt in the hot water.

Ooh, that feels good,
that hot water.

Oh, it feels good.

Oh, look at the--

those are from my ears,
the two spots.

Do not put this on TV.

Do not let my wife see this.

She will be grossed out.

Put it on TV.

What I'm thinking about doing
is making a wall barrier.

Keep that north wind at bay
from hitting my shelter.

We want a tree here.

See if we could pull
this one over.

And what we're doing
is making a wind block

so all this prevailing wind

gets blocked by this wall.

I'm past the three-week mark--
big step.

Got a long way to go, though.

I feel like I could win
this competition

for the Iñupiaq people.

Currently,
I don't believe there is

good representation
of Iñupiaq culture

out in the world.

I feel like it's a culture
that is new to most people.

Now, I'd like something
to hold that tree up.

Here comes the snow.

We don't see Iñupiaq people

on TV or movies
or in the news.

Just within
the last five years or so

is starting to become
an actual thing where

we're getting represented
in one way or the other.

Try taking every
single spruce bough

and just throwing it up.

We're no longer just portrayed
as Eskimos that live in igloos

and live on the ice
and have fur hoods.

We're getting shown
to the world,

especially with
the younger generation,

they're so engaged
in social media,

and to have them kind of see
that it's OK to be Iñupiaq.

It's OK to be Indigenous.

It makes them proud
of who they are,

where they came from.

I'm making the main structure
right now.

We'll just keep adding
all the heavy,

thick stuff on the bottom.

This is really gonna help
keep me warm in the long run.

I'm extremely proud
of who I am

and who I always have been,

not so much growing up
as a teenager

and having to move to
bigger cities in Alaska,

and it was something that I
felt ashamed of at one point.

I feel like I lost
my culture within that time,

going to these bigger schools

of non-Natives

and not feeling accepted.

Make use of all these
trees and branches.

I would tell people
I enjoy eating seal or whale,

and they'd be grossed out
and like,

why would you eat that?

And it was
extremely challenging.

Emotionally, I was feeling
sad, kind of angry at myself,

like, why do I have to be
the Eskimo kid?

Why do I have to be
the Iñupiaq kid?

And with that came
emotions of jealousy.

Like, why can't I be
the Caucasian kid?

I hated it.

There were times where
I had to get dragged

into school by the principal.

I had to get threatened
with the police coming

and bringing me
inside the school.

I remember crying
at the time

and just having to accept it
and go in.

It wasn't easy.

Well, we got our prevailing
wind wall here

all finished up.

It didn't take anything
other than picking up

a bunch of branches
and spruce and willows

that I already had cut

and piling them up into a wall.

And at the same time,

I practiced one of our
Iñupiaq iitqusiat

Iñupiaq values, and that's
to respect the land.

So I showed respect to the land
by keeping it clean,

keeping it clear.

This isn't our home.

It's our temporary home.

I might have found his house.

That's his dam.

Our snares are right up there.

So we're gonna try
to disassemble this a bit

just to get them
up and working.

If you want to kill a beaver,

wreck his dam and wait.

He'll be out to fix it.

Even that should...

get him back up and working.

He ain't gonna like me
very much.

OK, we're gonna mosey
on out of here

and then check the snares.

We're not starving,
but we're not flourishing.

So lots of improvement to do.

Just coming up to
my first couple sets.

This is way too early
to be stressing.

I'm enjoying myself.

I know this is gonna be
something

I look back on as fun.

But right now, it's hard work.

Oh, there's bunny tracks.

OK, well, that's--
that's good.

We're getting dialed.

It's not as easy
as a guy would think.

The lack of calories,
the distance a guy's

got to walk to find
some good trapping areas

is a challenge,
but I welcome it.

Coming up on the next set.
This is a set of four.

We're in it to win it, man.

Oh, we got one.

We got ourselves a bunny.

Perfect snare
right around his neck.

He didn't last long.

Ooh, we got dinner.

This is me bunny.

It's my first bunny
of the trip.

It's gonna taste good.

I got food.

I got two days out
of this bunny too.

We're here for one goal
and one goal only.

Let's go through here
and walk along.

We know there's a snare here.

I'm not here to find myself.

I'm not here
to enjoy the woods.

I'm here to win,

and that is the bottom line.

I want the win and the money.

Oh, there's a rabbit.

I gotta get my bow.

There's a live rabbit
right here.

Got him.

OK, let's go check
the next set.

Losing's not an option 'cause
it doesn't do nothing for you.

I don't need
this enlightened moment.

I need to win and win only.

And as bad as that sounds,
that's why I'm here.

We got a bunny!

Three bunnies today.

Beaver tomorrow.

Lynx the next day.

We'll have a balanced meal.

Just gonna get a fire going
and cook a bunny.

We'll get the pot
full of water.

I think
I'm extremely competitive,

competitive to a fault,
even, like, where--

like, me and Melissa
will fight over cards.

People are like,
oh, it's just a game.

It's like, yeah, but you're
playing the game to win.

Why are you playing the game
if you're not playing to win?

It's funny, though.

Like, the demons
are creeping in.

They're trying to
tell you to go home.

It's like,
it's not an option for me.

Be nice to make it home
for Christmas,

but if we don't, we don't.

I can't see anybody else
doing this, though.

My boy, Ziga,
I don't know how he's faring.

Guy seems awesome, but
he don't bring a ferro rod.

I think Nero's gonna freeze
his feet off with his mukluks.

Will's a dog,
but he's got four kids.

I literally got nothing
to go home to.

Oh, the heart's delicious.

The funny thing is, I've never
been like a big heart person.

I made my decision
a long time ago.

So good, man.

We're going for 90,
and if we get there

and we're still in the game,

then we'll have to adjust
and keep going.

But a lot can happen
between then and now.

There's no other option.

Shut the up,
Tweety Bird.

Every moose is gone.

I'm going to check
a bunch of snares,

hopefully find some critters.

All right, wish me luck.

Not looking very good
for any big game.

There's a fresh skiff of snow,

no sign of nothing.

Went and checked
the pond again.

There's no ducks or anything.

Made a fish lure.
Didn't work.

We're gonna have to focus
on small game.

Just coming up to
my first couple sets.

Oh, my God, guys,
I think I had the lynx.

There's tracks everywhere.

There's that one.

He got through.

Oh, my God.

Like, how is that like this?

Like, does that not mean I got
something and he wiggled out?

The other one's pushed aside.

Oh, there's--

Beaver's been here.

Oh, my God.
He got it.

The snare's gone.

What the , man?

I snared him, and he got away.

This is embarrassing.

Snared the lynx,
but he obviously--

I don't know--
somehow deked me.

And, yeah, the beaver stole
one of my snares.

Stroke of luck.
I found it in the--

he had it on him,
and he walked it up here.

He got it off the tree.

I've set many a snares
in my day.

I'm looking like
a damn rookie.

We're gonna regroup
and figure out

how we're gonna get these guys.

And we'll need
some different luck.

That's for sure.

We gonna get you, Mr. Kitty.

That's the big kitty too.

If he starts robbing
my bunnies,

that's not good.

I don't know how many bunnies
they eat a night,

but we gotta get rid
of this guy.

Man,

don't mess with
a man's bunny, Mr. Kitty.

Two things
you don't mess with--

a man's money and his wife
and his kids if he's got them.

But don't got kids.

What is going on here?

I'm right behind him.

I gotta keep following
and keep our eyes up.

He's going right
towards my camp.

Oh, baby, come on.

I need this more than anything.

I need to spot him
before he spots me.

I've had the chance at lynx.

I've had the chance at beaver.

I need the fats,

but I haven't had bad luck
like this before.

I'm gonna follow this bastard
until I find him.

He's gotta stop somewhere.

With the amount of food
on these moose,

I can stay out here
for hundreds of days.

Man, I can't
let this guy get away.

Like, this is
a $500,000 moose.

Stop, you son of a gun.

This is almost comical.

Come on, guys, root for me.

I need a prayer.

Come on, man.

Wish it wasn't windy.

This is the one day
I didn't want wind.

You see tracks,
you don't want wind,

'cause you can call them back.

Like, they can hear a long ways
away with those big ears.

It's so windy.

I don't know what to do.

Man, that's so disheartening.

We could be 14 hours
behind him though.

Hopefully he makes his rounds
and comes back.

I haven't seen
any other signs,

so we're gonna
get back to work.

Oh, it sucks, man.

That's a lot of wasted energy.

I chased him for
freaking 5 kilometers,

and the guy didn't even stop.

I'm going to...

get him though.

I am optimistic
that he'll be back.

He went, like,
100 yards from my cabin.

That is too funny.

Come on, mother nature.

Testing my patience,
God darn it.

For the next hour or so,
we're gonna cut some wood.

That's what that log is for.

That's how I planned that
sawbuck to work, like that.

Just like that.

The spacer--
there you go.

Put your log back over here.
Boom.

Stomach--
it's cramping.

I don't think I've pooped
in, like, 12 days.

I got gas.

I feel my stomach
gurgling all the time.

I just--I don't know
if it's 'cause

I got a clog
in my digestive system,

or I just haven't been
eating enough,

but I feel like I've eaten
enough in the last 12 days

to be able to poop, though,
so I don't know.

You start to get worried.

Finally.

Took a long time just to buck
a few logs.

I'm tired.

Check that moose trail and see
if there's fresh tracks on it.

If there is, follow it.

I was told that
you can't just eat meat.

You gotta eat fat too.

Otherwise,
you're gonna get constipated,

and your body's gonna
get backed up.

And I haven't had any fat,
really, this whole time.

You know, there's some fat

in fish and all that, but...

And what do we have here?

Those bear tracks?

This looks like
bear tracks there.

So there is
a freaking bear here.

Got me excited.

It would be extremely
beneficial to harvest

a black bear at this point.

So that's gotta be black bear.

If it were a grizzly,
it'd be much, much larger.

I know, at this time
in the year,

they're gonna have a amazing
amount of fat on them.

I know fat is what
is gonna help me

get through the winter.

Lost his tracks back here.

Gotta keep an eye out.

I could get right on it
with a bow shot.

It would be amazing.
It'd be good eating too.

For thousands of years,
Iñupiaq hunters

would go out in order
to harvest food

for their families
and their communities.

If I was home right now,
I would be looking

for caribou and moose.

My wife grew up
the same way that I did,

being at camp
and doing similar things

and same lifestyle.

Camp is technically
a second home,

but it feels like
a primary home to a lot of us.

That's where we want to go
to be Iñupiaq people

and really do things
within our culture

that make us feel
like real people.

Our ancestors have
grown up at these places

and practiced
the same traditions

and taught our parents and
grandparents all these things,

and they eventually
get handed down to us.

It's really important.

Yeah,

it's a little discouraging,

but still a lot of time.

I know that
this black bear fat

will be extremely important.

I'm hopeful that this bear
is staying in my area.

We'll see.

So have I shown you
how to eat rose hips yet?

You pluck one, all right.

You can suck all the meat out,
the part that meets the stem.

Mmm, oh, yeah.

And then...

spit out the seeds.

Rose hips and sunshine.

This is what I do
every morning.

This is my breakfast.

I think today is gonna have to
be a foraging day regardless.

Ooh.

Something--holy --

has walked through here.

That looks like...

a cat.

And...

wow.

Interesting.

There is a lynx
wandering around.

so I'm gonna shift gears
and focus on

getting a door on my shelter.

I gotta get out of here.

I need to make sure
that I have a shelter

that is going to keep me safe

and protect me from predators.

This is my only mission
right now.

All right, so we are going
to measure the door.

24 is the width.

OK.

Well, I got lucky.

Turns out the door
is a perfect square.

So I'm gonna make a frame
for it first.

I am not truly alone.

There's predators here.

Oh, no.
Oh, perfect.

You know, I've always feared
the worst in life

because the worst
actually did happen to me.

So going into this experience,

that is something
that I'm thinking about

is worst-case scenario.

I've been in positions
in my life

where my agency
has been stolen.

I know what it's like
to be hunted.

So yeah, being on high alert,

knowing that there's predators
out there

is--

yeah, it's quite scary.

Well, I'm having a really hard
time today.

Being in this place
where I am suffering

is starting to remind me

of when I lost my agency,
when I lost control,

when I was living
in a dark place.

And I don't want
to go back there.

I think I'm just
gonna sit here.

21 years ago today,

there was a young woman,

19 years old...

Just figuring out who she was,

until one night,
her world changed.

She was walking home.

And on her way home,
she was kidnapped

by two men

who threw her into a car,

held a gun to her head,

took her to a park...

where they beat her,

they robbed her,

and they raped her.

They took their turns...

destroying her

before leaving her,
abandoning her

broken,

beaten, and bloody.

That woman was me.

That little girl was me.

And it's been 20 years.

And you can never move on
from that experience,

but there is a way
to move forward.

It wasn't until I started
to lean into nature

that I found that I could heal.

I dipped a toe
into spirituality

and therapy and nature.

With those three things
combined,

I found a path

to feeling that I belonged.

Nature taught me that.

Nature taught me that
I belonged on this planet.

So I studied it.

Studied navigation,

studied fire, studied plants.

If I could protect myself

and not let fear

prevent me from having
a joyous life...

Then that's what
I was going to do

so I could become
fearless again.

I'm proud of myself
for doing this,

for taking on this challenge.

Let's go kick some ass.

I got a lot of work to do.

We got ourselves a bunny.

Oh, he's alive again.

Sorry, buddy.

My God!

Are you kidding me?

What is happening to me?

It's like in golf,
they call it the yips.

Like when you, uh,

just can't do anything.

I think I got a case
of the yips here.

These snares too,
like, I don't know--

clearly, I'm not putting 'em
on good enough, but

this is sad, man.

I tend to be
a pretty positive person,

but we're in the dumps
right now, boy.

Beaver's not back.

He didn't even fix his dam,
so I don't know

if the lynx got him or what,

but we'll leave these up
and come check 'em tomorrow.

Oh, man,
I'm not having a good day.

My mind is trying to give
me ways out

that doesn't make me
look like I quit.

like this is
making me want to go home,

but I'm not gonna.

Let's go check
the rest of the site.

I might be crazy,
but I'm sitting there

just arguing with myself
like, shut up, man.

You're not doing that.

Won a lot of fights
in your life, weak mind,

but not this one.

I could be on my couch in

like...

in not long, if I wanted to.

I could be eating pizza
not long if I wanted to.

All you have to do
is give up on your dreams.

How?
Like, it's so crazy to think.

It's like a carrot dangling
in front of your face.

It's the same--like,
that's how I think about it,

the same as smoking.

Like, when I quit smoking,

it was so hard because
I could literally

fix the craving in seconds.

But you'd have to give up
on all the progress you made.

It's so--
it's just crazy.

This is the craziest thing
a person can do.

You have to be well-rounded
with mental toughness.

But I fought
mixed martial arts.

I've played rugby.

I've played
pretty crazy sports.

Any physical activity
that I do is hard mentally.

Found some more moose tracks.

This is what I work in.
This is what I grew up in.

This is my advantage.

I must just be missing
this guy, man.

I can't lose.
I shouldn't lose.

I don't know if it's
the same moose or what,

but it went right through here.

We want him
to come back to here.

This is the perfect
shooting spot.

If we get a moose, I'll have
all the fat, all the food.

We can ride this out
till we win.

I shouldn't even
be shooting at a moose

with only one broadhead anyway,
but

I'm taking chances.

They're not paying off.

We're gonna back out here.

I can't believe I just missed.

The arrow hit a tree
right in front of him.

I missed by 2 inches.

And, man,
is it ever devastating.

Perfect setup.

How the--

Oh, my God.
He was standing right here.

I had that lane.

Oh, my God.

I should quit.

I'm feeling like the moose
is slipping away.

I don't got a chance.
I don't got broadheads.

I got to find another arrow
and a broadhead,

and hopefully I can get
another opportunity.

Because this is--
this is not good.

I'm so sad right now.

I just missed the moose
at 20 yards.

I didn't take a follow-up shot

because I don't have
a broadhead with me.

This is so embarrassing, man.

It is what it is.

I'm not gonna beat myself--

I'm gonna beat the
out of myself about it,

but it is what it is.

I can't rewind time.

Timber missed a moose,
and he got it.

It's a sad day, though, boy.

That moose was
essentially the win.

What a greasy move.

Mother nature,
what a greasy move.

The door shuts,
blocks most of the wind.

I am safe from predators.

So we're chinking
the shelter today.

I have all this mud
from the shoreline.

Let's go and do this
before the mud refreezes.

Holy.

Whoa.
Alrighty.

Steady as we go.

Ah, steady.

The sun was able
to melt some of it,

enough for me to be able
to collect it.

The problem is

mud's really heavy,

like, really heavy.

I'm starting to realize
that sustaining

out here for the long term
is a serious gamble

and a lot of work.

While I may not be thriving,
I'm still doing it.

You know?
I've got berries.

I've got plants.

But I'd like
to be doing better.

Alrighty.

I have no idea how much mud
it's gonna take

to chink this shelter,

but we're about to find out.

You know, in trauma recovery,
there are three Rs

that aid in trauma recovery.

And one is rhythms.

The other is relationships.

And the third is reward.

Wow, I'm really enjoying this.

I'm really enjoying it.

It's, like, really therapeutic.

Things that have repetition

actually can help recalibrate
our emotional states

in our brains.

This might not be one of
those jobs you can do in a day.

The repetition and the rhythm
actually calm my mind.

There were times where
I thought that living

in trauma was my life.

There was nothing past it.

It was my relationship
to the outdoors

that helped me to navigate
through that trauma.

Oh, yeah.

This is awesome.

Awesome!

This is good

for today.

I'm pretty hungry.

I'm gonna go check
my traps over there.

Wow, my mood's
really changed today.

I don't know.

I'm in a new
state of mind today.

I'm feeling really good
today and optimistic,

and, like, my curiosity
is just alive right now,

and all I want to do
is go explore.

My first solo hike was

the Laugavegur trail
in Iceland.

This was my first time where
I got to take the skills

that I, at that point,
had only learned

on my own
and really test them.

There seems to be
quite a few tracks,

so this is good.

So day one,
when I was in Iceland,

I was in an earthquake,
witnessed an avalanche,

and I fell in a crevasse.

Everything terrible
that could possibly happen

actually happened.

See, look at that.

Look at all the traffic
right there.

But it was huge for me.

That's what
really, really helped

strengthen my relationship
with my body

and to have it back.

Oh, he's in my snare.

All right.

Well, today is
a good day.

I caught a hare.

Hey, buddy.

Let's go back
and process this guy.

Nature has this
incredible ability

to give you the answers

to what you're looking for
in life.

I'm sorry.

Thank you for your life.

Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.

Survival skills saved my life
in more ways than one.

It's what helped me to heal.

If my journey can help
somebody else,

and nobody has
to walk the path

that I've been through
in my life

living in a state
of suffering,

if I can change
one person's life

and say,
"Hey, did you ever think

"about leaning into nature?

"Let me show you

what it can do and how
it can change your life,"

then...

that would make
all of this worth it.

It would make all my pain
and suffering worth it,

to help others,

show them that
there is another way.

Thank you, universe,
for this meal.

I feel like a whole
other person right now.

Got a rabbit brain
roasting on some coals.

Got rabbit blood all over my
hands and all over my pants.

I can feel my body
being replenished.

I finally feel like
I've become

the person I'm supposed to be.

It's a beautiful day.

Nature has definitely
allowed me to develop

a connection with who
I call my authentic self,

who Jacks really is.

You know,
that person hides a lot.

And so in nature,
that person gets to be free.

Eagle footage.

Do something, eagle, for me.

Fly away or something.

It's a good reminder.

I gotta put the food away.

Keep it away from scavengers.

Damn.

I'm gonna work on the food
caches this afternoon.

So I'm gonna make a fourth one.

I'm gonna try and make it out
of one of the beaver pelts.

Get it set up.
See if it works.

I'm really happy
with the layout

and the setup with my shelter.

I've got food to last
a long time

and need to better preserve it

and make sure that
it doesn't go off.

Right now,
it's about

storing food.

But I'm starting to learn
that I can really just

start to sink into
this experience

with the confidence that
everything's working for me.

Let's get that beaver pelt
into a bit of a bag.

So the question is,
how do I want to do it.

I've got paracord there,
punch holes is there,

there, there, and there.

And then just have the rope
which comes through

and brings them together.

It feels really good
to be able to come back

to my shelter and just
recharge and regather myself.

And it feels like home.

I think, psychologically,
you know, us humans,

we need a place to call home
and having connection.

We talk a lot
about connection.

I think all Australians
find it,

in some way, difficult
to be connected to land.

Australia's got this
weird sort of conundrum

where we want to be connected

to our land
and to our country,

but because of our past,
there's a bit of a stigma

that we can't be
connected to land.

With colonialism,
we came into Australia

as an invader.

And we've pushed
the First Nations people

up in the northern parts
of Australia.

So they don't have
their land anymore.

But now we've come
onto this land.

We have all of this history
and guilt

with what we've done
in the past.

And so therefore,
we don't feel like

we have the right to have
connection to that land.

So Australia is this place
with a whole bunch of people

and not really
anybody connected to the land.

She ain't pretty, but...

She'll hold some food.

And I think
that's something that

we really need to try
and come together

and work through.

Beaver naturally goes
in beaver cache.

When I first came
to the delta,

I had these expectations
and these ideas

of how I thought it should be.

And I was really resistant
at first.

Nice and high.

It's taken me a while,
but finally,

I'm really feeling like
I'm meant to be here.

The land wants me to be here.

And the more that
I spend time,

the more that gets reinforced,

and the better
and deeper my relationship

with the land becomes.

Sunset over the mountains.

Beautiful.

Feels so surreal
to be here sometimes

on this journey,

out here on this land.

And I'm grateful
for this place.

It's given me life.
It's sustaining me.

I'm becoming a part
of this place.

And it's becoming a part of me.

I finished up my carvings.

We got a little spoon set here.

This one is for Cassie, Inukuk.

And we have a little bit
smaller of a spoon.

This is for Willow.
She's a middle-aged girl.

We got the middle-aged spoon.

And then...

my baby,

baby of the house, Taliiraq,

Kenna Rose.

Spoon for the baby.

Baby spoon for the baby.

My son...

he's getting the action figure.

"Alone," Season 13

little figure.

So I could just see
my kids loving them

and enjoy using them.
I know they will.

So right now I'm gonna try
to check the snares.

I still haven't pooped.

Drank almost two quarts
of tilaaqiaq,

Labrador tea,

just trying to get
some type of poop out of me.

Set more snares yesterday.

I got plenty out now.

I'm still eating enough
to where I'd have to poop,

though, you'd think.

I don't know if that means
I'm clogged up or what,

but I'm getting
kind of worried.

I have a fear that
my stomach can tear open,

my intestine could tear open.

Well, you got a rabbit.

One ukalaitchaq here.

Leave him right there
'cause we'll be back.

I want to keep going.
Like, my mind loves it here.

I could stay.

But at what cost?

Like, at the cost of
totally messing up my body,

getting sepsis, and dying?

Ukalaitchaq here.
Yeah.

Living off of rabbit and fish,

and I can't really eat
either right now.

Like, I just don't have
the appetite

to eat rabbit or fish.

I hate to sound
like a picky baby.

I'm not picky
with my food at all.

There's almost nothing
I won't eat.

Last one here.
This is fresh too.

Oh, baby got chewed up
a little bit.

I want to be here.
Like, I don't want to go.

But I also don't want my kids
to go without a father

for the rest of their lives.

A black bear walking through
my backyard again.

He came all the way
down the riverbank.

Came up right here
next to my shelter.

I'm not too sure where it went.

It might be back,
and I'll be ready.

I got the bow and arrow.

Keep an eye out.

I am still
in this competition,

mentally and spiritually.

My body is giving up,
but I realize that

there's a chance
for that black bear.

Best rabbit day ever.

Just kind of laid
in bed all morning,

and, uh, I could just
lay in bed all day

if I want to,

which is what I might just do.

We'll see.

I just feel like my mind and

my spirit just can be here
for the rest of the winter.

But right now, my body can't,
just because

it's unable to accept food.

And you need food for energy.

You know, if I stay longer
and longer and longer,

could be doing
irreversible damage

to my body
and my digestive system

and who knows what else.

Maybe my heart.

And that's all not worth
winning this

and worth half a million bucks.

Can't believe I'm doing this.

30 days.

I mean, I barely have
enough energy

to get out of bed.

I mean, you know, I have food.

I have five, six days
worth of food,

but I just have not had
an appetite,

and I don't know why.

Hey, it's Will.

I'm--I'm officially
tapping out.

The most--

That was
the most difficult thing

I ever had to do, I think.

And, uh, it wasn't easy, but

it was the right thing to do.

I haven't anaq -ed
in weeks, pooped.

starting to get stomach cramps
a week ago.

And, yeah, I don't have energy
to do anything

other than just lay here.

I know that my mind
and my spirit can.

Right now, my body can't.

So that's something I've just--

I've come to accept.

And it's been by far

the most amazing experience,

other than seeing the birth
of each of my four kids

and being there.

I mean,
this is right there with it--

just...

being a part of this land,
you know, being out here alone.

And just--

it was a beautiful thing,

and I hate to see it
come to an end.

Coming out here,
I kind of thought,

I'm just a simple Iñupiaq man.

I'm willing to die
to win this.

But then you come out here,
and you just realize

how much more is involved,
including your kids,

including your wife,
including everything.

You know, I didn't grow up
with a wealthy family

or a high school graduation.
None of that.

My culture is all I've had.

And kind of thought,
I gotta win this

to represent
the Iñupiaq people.

But within the last few days,

I kind of realized just
by stepping onto this land,

I've represented them.

The things that I've done,

the traditional ivrulik

that I've made,
the tools that I've made,

it was all based
on our culture.

It was important to me,

and I would love for it to be
just as important to my kids.

I think it's something
that they're gonna remember

for the rest of their lives.
They will, just as I will.

And they'll be telling
their kids about it

and maybe even
their grandkids about it,

that a young kid
from the tundra,

as I like to say...

Came here on a worldwide stage
of survival

and represented
the Iñupiaq people.

And that's one thing
that I wanted to do

and one thing that
I feel like I've done

in the short amount of time
that I've had here.

I kind of feel like
I found more of the person

who I'm supposed to be.

Elders are extremely
important people,

and sometimes I don't think
they realize it,

but a lot of knowledge

has been passed down
to them, you know?

It's not written in books
or TV shows, none of that.

It's all just passed down,

person to person,

and I just absorbed it all.

I'm feeling really proud
about that.

And until the day that I die,

I'm gonna pass all that
knowledge down to my kids.

This is our history.

I can smell
some unpleasant smell.

Each piece of meat spoiling.

This weather sucks.

I've been making a coracle,

which is a small boat.

Let's do it.

My concern is that
if I do get cold and wet,

at the very least,

it would mean having
to tap out.

At the worst, it could
put my life in danger.

Whoa.

My stomach is feeling
really funny right now.

Why would this
be happening to me?

Just pain.

I don't know why.

It just hurts so bad.

.