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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:02,909 --> 00:00:04,946 [DOCTOR] Everything looks good, Mr. Reynolds. 2 00:00:04,981 --> 00:00:06,489 Your blood work is all normal. 3 00:00:06,523 --> 00:00:08,494 [DENNIS] Excellent. As expected, right? 4 00:00:08,527 --> 00:00:10,297 Does look like your blood pressure's 5 00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:12,569 - a little high, however. Um... - Wait. 6 00:00:12,602 --> 00:00:14,807 - I have high blood pressure? - Well, yes, but 7 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,611 that's consistent with your last visit. 8 00:00:16,644 --> 00:00:18,313 We might want to put you on a low dose 9 00:00:18,346 --> 00:00:20,585 - of blood pressure medication. - Oh... no. 10 00:00:20,618 --> 00:00:23,504 [SCOFFS] Come on, Doc. Pills are for old men. 11 00:00:23,539 --> 00:00:25,427 Well, we all get to a certain age where we need... 12 00:00:25,461 --> 00:00:26,832 Do we? I don't. 13 00:00:26,865 --> 00:00:29,236 So, no. I mean, you know, let-let's not... 14 00:00:29,269 --> 00:00:31,023 Listen, I-I can see where you're headed with this. 15 00:00:31,058 --> 00:00:32,309 Let's-let's not go there, okay? 16 00:00:32,342 --> 00:00:34,480 If I wanted my blood pressure to be low, I would simply 17 00:00:34,514 --> 00:00:36,685 command my body to make it low. 18 00:00:36,718 --> 00:00:39,123 That's really not how chronic high blood pressure works. 19 00:00:39,156 --> 00:00:41,628 Okay, well, it is how it works with Dennis Reynolds, okay? 20 00:00:41,661 --> 00:00:43,732 And if I'm chronically having high blood pressure, 21 00:00:43,765 --> 00:00:45,468 it's because I'm chronically suffering fools 22 00:00:45,502 --> 00:00:47,573 who won't listen to me when I say that I can do things. 23 00:00:48,347 --> 00:00:50,312 Uh, you know what, Doc? It's fi... 24 00:00:50,911 --> 00:00:52,617 I'm gonna take control of this, okay? 25 00:00:52,650 --> 00:00:54,186 Don't you worry about a thing 26 00:00:54,219 --> 00:00:56,123 'cause Dennis Reynolds is gonna 27 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:58,193 figure this all out on his own. 28 00:00:58,194 --> 00:01:01,071 _ 29 00:01:21,875 --> 00:01:23,444 [BEEPING] 30 00:01:23,477 --> 00:01:24,881 There we go. 31 00:01:24,914 --> 00:01:26,585 Blood pressure. 32 00:01:26,618 --> 00:01:29,591 Pulse. Resting heart rate, syncs right to the phone. 33 00:01:29,624 --> 00:01:31,293 And it records everything. 34 00:01:31,326 --> 00:01:33,297 [LAUGHS] This is perfect. 35 00:01:33,330 --> 00:01:36,137 Now I'll have proof I can smash in that stupid doctor's face. 36 00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:38,708 [PHONE RINGING, BUZZING] 37 00:01:42,252 --> 00:01:43,585 - Yeah. - [CHARLIE] Oh, hey, Dennis. 38 00:01:43,618 --> 00:01:45,856 Uh, a-are we above or below sea level? 39 00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:48,181 - What? - [FRANK] Tell him about the family-style cooking. 40 00:01:48,206 --> 00:01:49,206 [CHARLIE] Yeah, so we're doing 41 00:01:49,229 --> 00:01:50,599 some family-style cooking now, and we got this, 42 00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:52,335 like, industrial-grade pressure cooker. 43 00:01:52,368 --> 00:01:53,739 - [FRANK] Mm. - [CHARLIE] Pretty badass, man, 44 00:01:53,772 --> 00:01:55,341 but, you know, we got to make sure 45 00:01:55,374 --> 00:01:56,712 we're above sea level just to be safe. 46 00:01:56,745 --> 00:01:57,847 Well, we can't be below sea level. 47 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,383 Otherwise, we'd be underwater. 48 00:01:59,416 --> 00:02:00,786 [FRANK] But if it's under sea level, 49 00:02:00,819 --> 00:02:02,355 - it may explode. - That's our big worry. 50 00:02:02,388 --> 00:02:03,759 That this sucker's gonna explode. 51 00:02:03,792 --> 00:02:04,861 You can't take a pressure cooker under the sea. 52 00:02:04,894 --> 00:02:06,565 - It's not gonna explode. - Yeah, that's not 53 00:02:06,598 --> 00:02:08,468 - how pressure cookers work. - Yeah. 54 00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:11,474 You're telling me that you can't bring a pressure cooker onto a submarine? 55 00:02:11,508 --> 00:02:12,912 How do they feed the entire U.S. Navy? 56 00:02:12,978 --> 00:02:15,348 - They don't pressure-cook the shit, Mac. - Navy argument. 57 00:02:15,381 --> 00:02:17,219 - Navy argument... - Stop! Stop! All of you, okay? 58 00:02:17,252 --> 00:02:18,321 [CHARLIE] They have, like, a grill or something. 59 00:02:18,354 --> 00:02:19,624 I'm calling mental health day. 60 00:02:20,301 --> 00:02:21,495 [FRANK] Mental health day? 61 00:02:21,528 --> 00:02:23,231 What kind of cuckoo shit is that? 62 00:02:23,264 --> 00:02:24,868 [DEE] It's a new thing. It's like a sick day 63 00:02:24,901 --> 00:02:26,805 but for your brain, and if somebody calls it, 64 00:02:26,838 --> 00:02:28,742 you have to give it to 'em, you can't ask any questions. 65 00:02:28,775 --> 00:02:30,646 Are you calling that? Are you taking that for real? 66 00:02:30,679 --> 00:02:33,919 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm calling mental health day, okay? 67 00:02:33,952 --> 00:02:36,290 - And I'm gonna drive out to the beach... - [DEE] Ooh. 68 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,495 ...and spend the entire day just staring at the ocean. 69 00:02:38,528 --> 00:02:40,265 Isn't your car in the shop? I'm sorry. 70 00:02:40,298 --> 00:02:41,978 That's, uh, not a question about mental health. 71 00:02:42,013 --> 00:02:44,541 - That's a question of logistics. - Ah, damn it. No, you're right. 72 00:02:44,574 --> 00:02:45,643 [DEE] Hey, Dennis, I'll come drive you. 73 00:02:45,676 --> 00:02:47,345 I could use a beach day. 74 00:02:47,378 --> 00:02:49,517 Oh, shit. You know what? This could be a good way 75 00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:51,220 - to find out whether or not we're, uh, underwater. - [BEEPING] 76 00:02:51,253 --> 00:02:52,790 [FRANK] We can take the cooker there, yeah. 77 00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:54,363 - [DEE] We're gonna bring the cooker, too. - No. No. Goddamn it! Do you hear that beeping? 78 00:02:54,364 --> 00:02:56,532 - [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] - That means stop. No! 79 00:02:56,629 --> 00:02:58,669 This is my mental health day, and none of you 80 00:02:58,702 --> 00:03:00,639 are a part of it. Goddamn it! 81 00:03:00,672 --> 00:03:02,409 - [SIGHS] - [BEEPING] 82 00:03:02,442 --> 00:03:03,511 [DOOR OPENS] 83 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:06,718 - Hi. - Hi. How can I help you today? 84 00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,722 Uh, yeah, I have a reservation under the name Reynolds. 85 00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,260 - Okay, let me check that out for you. - All right. 86 00:03:11,293 --> 00:03:13,263 [RAPID TYPING] 87 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:25,257 Wow. That's a lot of typing you're having to do there. 88 00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,408 - You writing a novel? - Oh, I'm sorry. 89 00:03:27,443 --> 00:03:29,564 We have no more vehicles available in that class. 90 00:03:29,597 --> 00:03:31,433 No, no, no, I made a reservation. 91 00:03:31,466 --> 00:03:32,837 Sometimes our system double-books, 92 00:03:32,870 --> 00:03:35,008 so that's our mistake, and we are happy 93 00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:37,947 - to offer you a complimentary upgrade. - Okay. 94 00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:41,020 This is the Tsuma EVS, a fully-electric car 95 00:03:41,053 --> 00:03:42,757 with touch screen controls, automated steering 96 00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,426 made right here in America. 97 00:03:44,459 --> 00:03:46,565 Oh, these are awesome. I've seen these. 98 00:03:46,598 --> 00:03:48,301 - These are really cool. - Mm-hmm. 99 00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:51,440 Okay, yeah, no. I-I... I accept, and I'll take those keys. 100 00:03:51,473 --> 00:03:53,946 - There are no keys. - Aha. 101 00:03:53,979 --> 00:03:57,496 - There's an app. - Oh, right. 102 00:03:57,531 --> 00:03:58,822 - An app. - Mm-hmm. 103 00:03:58,855 --> 00:04:01,460 Boy, I got tell you, I... I, uh, I don't love that. 104 00:04:01,494 --> 00:04:04,333 I, uh, have a lot of apps on my phone already, 105 00:04:04,366 --> 00:04:06,571 and, uh, keys are sort of a system 106 00:04:06,604 --> 00:04:08,474 that have existed for millennia. 107 00:04:08,508 --> 00:04:10,613 I don't know why we're trying to fix that, but, uh, 108 00:04:10,646 --> 00:04:12,015 yeah, no, now we got apps. 109 00:04:12,048 --> 00:04:13,619 We got... we got apps for everything, right? 110 00:04:13,652 --> 00:04:15,488 Even for things we already had things for. 111 00:04:15,522 --> 00:04:17,025 - [WATCH BEEPING] - [LAUGHING] 112 00:04:17,058 --> 00:04:19,911 I guess, uh, since my blood pressure's going up, 113 00:04:19,946 --> 00:04:21,000 really spiking here, I'm just gonna... 114 00:04:21,033 --> 00:04:23,004 I'm gonna go with it. We're gonna download the app. 115 00:04:23,037 --> 00:04:25,041 Right? What's one more app? [LAUGHS] 116 00:04:25,074 --> 00:04:28,280 The phone is the key now. Simple. 117 00:04:30,786 --> 00:04:33,492 This is nice. Smooth ride, it's quiet. 118 00:04:33,525 --> 00:04:36,030 Try this automated steering thing. 119 00:04:36,063 --> 00:04:38,601 [CHIMING] 120 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,508 Hey. 121 00:04:41,541 --> 00:04:44,046 Hey! [LAUGHS] 122 00:04:45,134 --> 00:04:46,383 That is awesome. 123 00:04:47,228 --> 00:04:49,389 Time to kick this mental health day off 124 00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:51,494 with some feel-good plant tonic. 125 00:04:51,527 --> 00:04:55,368 My good friend, Mr. Kratom. 126 00:04:56,428 --> 00:04:57,907 Uh, this stuff's gnarly as hell, though. 127 00:04:57,940 --> 00:05:00,044 I need some... some kind of a mixer. 128 00:05:00,077 --> 00:05:05,054 Uh, Tsuma, direct me to the nearest tea shop. 129 00:05:05,087 --> 00:05:07,025 - [CAR CHIMES] - [MALE VOICE] Rerouting to Teaspoon. 130 00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:09,029 Holy shit. 131 00:05:10,538 --> 00:05:13,371 Tsuma, play... Roxette. 132 00:05:13,404 --> 00:05:15,761 - [CHIME] - Now playing Roxette, 133 00:05:15,796 --> 00:05:17,078 - "Listen to Your Heart." - [LAUGHS SOFTLY] 134 00:05:17,111 --> 00:05:18,782 ["LISTEN TO YOUR HEART" BY ROXETTE PLAYING] 135 00:05:18,815 --> 00:05:21,419 That is so cool. 136 00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:25,663 I'll just sit here and enjoy the ride, I guess. 137 00:05:26,499 --> 00:05:27,967 This car's nailing it. 138 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:33,579 ♪ I know there's something in the wake of your smile ♪ 139 00:05:33,612 --> 00:05:35,683 - ♪ I get a notion ♪ - [DENNIS WHISTLING] 140 00:05:35,716 --> 00:05:38,087 - ♪ From the look in your eyes... ♪ - Hi. 141 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,549 - Uh, one herbal tea, please. - Which flavor? 142 00:05:40,584 --> 00:05:42,830 Flavor. Uh, I don't know. Jasmine? 143 00:05:42,863 --> 00:05:43,999 Uh, sorry, I meant for the boba. 144 00:05:44,032 --> 00:05:45,669 The little spheres 145 00:05:45,702 --> 00:05:47,707 of, uh, tapioca and sugar? 146 00:05:47,740 --> 00:05:48,942 The tea comes with boba. 147 00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:50,679 Well, it doesn't 148 00:05:50,712 --> 00:05:51,881 because I see the tea right there, 149 00:05:51,914 --> 00:05:53,619 and I see the boba over there, 150 00:05:53,652 --> 00:05:55,488 so why don't we just not combine 'em, yeah? 151 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,125 - [LAUGHS SOFTLY] - You know, so, I'll take the tea 152 00:05:57,158 --> 00:05:59,096 without the covert diabetes delivery mechanism, please. 153 00:05:59,129 --> 00:06:01,801 - [LAUGHS] - The system won't let me do that. 154 00:06:01,834 --> 00:06:03,805 [WATCH BEEPING] 155 00:06:03,838 --> 00:06:05,809 [SIGHS] 156 00:06:05,842 --> 00:06:07,947 Okay. Yeah. No, fine. 157 00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:09,584 One boba, please. 158 00:06:09,617 --> 00:06:11,120 We'll call it a mental health day treat. 159 00:06:11,153 --> 00:06:13,124 Self-care, right? Isn't that what people call it 160 00:06:13,157 --> 00:06:15,461 whenever they need an excuse to do whatever the fuck they want? 161 00:06:15,495 --> 00:06:17,465 - I don't know. - Yeah, I know. Of course you don't. 162 00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:19,604 Of course you don't. One chewy sugar tea, please. 163 00:06:19,637 --> 00:06:22,576 All right. Uh, you can scan the code. 164 00:06:23,645 --> 00:06:25,582 Uh, why? 165 00:06:25,615 --> 00:06:27,018 Because the code takes you to the app. 166 00:06:27,051 --> 00:06:29,022 That's two apps today, yeah. 167 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,759 Got apps for everything, you know? 168 00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:32,496 Even though I'm already talking to the person 169 00:06:32,529 --> 00:06:33,999 that, uh, could just take my order right here, 170 00:06:34,032 --> 00:06:36,504 but I got to download an app, right? 171 00:06:36,537 --> 00:06:37,907 How about this? 172 00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:40,445 I have cash, you have tea. 173 00:06:40,478 --> 00:06:41,881 Why don't we just streamline things? 174 00:06:41,914 --> 00:06:43,618 We don't take cash, though. 175 00:06:43,651 --> 00:06:45,856 Yeah. How about cards? Take cards? 176 00:06:45,889 --> 00:06:47,793 - Uh, yes. - Oh, great. 177 00:06:47,826 --> 00:06:49,797 But there is a ten-dollar minimum. 178 00:06:49,830 --> 00:06:53,004 [WATCH BEEPING] 179 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:55,642 There's no minimum on the app, though. 180 00:06:55,675 --> 00:06:57,913 [LAUGHS, INHALES DEEPLY THROUGH NOSE] 181 00:06:57,946 --> 00:06:59,517 [EXHALES] 182 00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:01,020 Sorry. It's, uh... [CLEARS THROAT] 183 00:07:01,053 --> 00:07:02,623 It's not your fault. 184 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,026 You know, you didn't create the system. 185 00:07:04,059 --> 00:07:05,629 The system is just... It is what it is, 186 00:07:05,662 --> 00:07:07,633 and, yeah, we're both victims here, so... 187 00:07:08,066 --> 00:07:09,102 What? 188 00:07:09,469 --> 00:07:11,608 Uh, nothing. 189 00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:14,012 Two boba teas, please. 190 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:20,859 [CAR CHIMES] 191 00:07:27,706 --> 00:07:29,677 - [LOUDLY] ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ - Oh, shit. 192 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,213 ♪ Take a listen to it ♪ 193 00:07:31,246 --> 00:07:33,050 ♪ There's nothing else you can do ♪ 194 00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:36,558 [QUIETER] ♪ I don't know where you're going ♪ 195 00:07:36,591 --> 00:07:38,895 ♪ And I don't know why... ♪ 196 00:07:54,593 --> 00:07:57,533 Ugh! Oh. 197 00:07:57,566 --> 00:07:59,202 That is rough. 198 00:07:59,235 --> 00:08:01,608 Oh. 199 00:08:01,641 --> 00:08:03,612 - Ugh! Aah! - [CHIMING] 200 00:08:03,645 --> 00:08:06,551 It's so sweet. 201 00:08:06,584 --> 00:08:08,254 Good, though. It's good. 202 00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:10,893 - [CHIMING] - What do you mean, "Key not found"? 203 00:08:10,926 --> 00:08:12,563 Key not found? Th-There is no key. 204 00:08:12,596 --> 00:08:14,667 - The key is my... - [CHIMING CONTINUES] 205 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,805 ...phone. 206 00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:18,140 Where's my phone? Where's my phone? 207 00:08:18,173 --> 00:08:20,579 - [CHIMING] - [WATCH BEEPING] 208 00:08:20,612 --> 00:08:22,716 Goddamn it, where's my phone? 209 00:08:22,749 --> 00:08:25,722 [WATCH BUZZING, RINGING] 210 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:29,129 Ah, shit. Ugh! Yes. What? 211 00:08:29,162 --> 00:08:31,033 - [MAC] Hey, Dennis. Hey, man. - [CHARLIE] Hey. - [FRANK] Hey. 212 00:08:31,066 --> 00:08:32,603 [MAC] Hey, uh, real quick. You know that French dip 213 00:08:32,636 --> 00:08:34,306 of yours in the fridge. Can we eat that? 214 00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:37,045 No, that French dip has been in the fridge for a month, dude. 215 00:08:37,078 --> 00:08:38,915 Do not eat it and do not call me! 216 00:08:38,948 --> 00:08:40,752 - [CHARLIE] We already ate it. - [MAC] Yeah, we ate it. 217 00:08:40,785 --> 00:08:42,056 - [FRANK] It's been eaten. - [DEE] I told 'em not to eat it. 218 00:08:42,119 --> 00:08:43,927 [CHARLIE] Dee tried to tell us not to eat it, but look, anyway, 219 00:08:43,988 --> 00:08:46,098 we're just calling now so you don't get mad at us later. All right? 220 00:08:46,171 --> 00:08:47,702 [MAC] Yeah, we're hoping that you get mad out there 221 00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:49,271 and then you come back and you're happy. 222 00:08:49,287 --> 00:08:50,408 [CHARLIE] Do not expect that sandwich 223 00:08:50,502 --> 00:08:51,845 when you get back, 'cause it's gone, okay? 224 00:08:51,891 --> 00:08:53,816 [MAC] But don't worry about it. It has been pressure-cooked. 225 00:08:53,898 --> 00:08:54,920 - [CHARLIE] Yeah, we pressure-cooked the shit out of it. - What do you mean? 226 00:08:55,008 --> 00:08:57,424 - No, you cannot pressure-cook a French dip. - [CAR HORN HONKS] 227 00:08:57,489 --> 00:08:59,061 [MAC] Oh, yeah, you can, and I guarantee 228 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,998 - that the U.S. Navy is down on their submarine... - Don't. Don't talk! 229 00:09:01,045 --> 00:09:02,101 - Don't talk. Don't. Stop. - ...with their pressure cooker. 230 00:09:02,146 --> 00:09:04,571 - No more phone calls! No more! - [OVERLAPPING CHATTER] 231 00:09:04,655 --> 00:09:06,505 - [WATCH BEEPS OFF] - [DENNIS SIGHS] 232 00:09:06,563 --> 00:09:08,207 [SIREN TOOTS] 233 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,781 - [CAR'S CHIMING CONTINUES] - [SIREN TOOTS] 234 00:09:11,814 --> 00:09:13,656 Fantastic. 235 00:09:17,358 --> 00:09:19,062 [INDISTINCT RADIO TRANSMISSION] 236 00:09:19,095 --> 00:09:20,231 Hello, Officer. 237 00:09:20,264 --> 00:09:21,935 License and registration. 238 00:09:21,968 --> 00:09:24,105 - Uh, well, this is a rental, actually. - Hmm. 239 00:09:24,138 --> 00:09:25,909 - Turn the car off. - [CHIMING CONTINUES] 240 00:09:25,942 --> 00:09:28,113 [LAUGHS] Yeah. 241 00:09:28,146 --> 00:09:31,921 I, uh... I can't because I don't have a key. 242 00:09:31,954 --> 00:09:34,326 Uh, well, technically there is no key. 243 00:09:34,359 --> 00:09:36,831 My phone is the key, and... 244 00:09:37,783 --> 00:09:39,035 I don't have a phone. 245 00:09:40,004 --> 00:09:41,340 Step out of the car, sir. 246 00:09:41,941 --> 00:09:43,745 Uh, you know, I'd really rather not 247 00:09:43,778 --> 00:09:45,849 because I'm afraid if I get out, then, um, 248 00:09:45,882 --> 00:09:47,887 I'm not gonna be able to start the car again. 249 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,991 Sir, out of the car, please. 250 00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:51,861 - [CHIMING] - [WATCH BEEPING] 251 00:09:51,894 --> 00:09:54,199 Right. You don't care. 252 00:09:54,232 --> 00:09:56,804 All right, stepping out. 253 00:09:56,837 --> 00:09:59,041 [CHIMING AND BEEPING CONTINUE] 254 00:10:05,989 --> 00:10:07,225 [CAR HORN TOOTS] 255 00:10:08,119 --> 00:10:10,665 Well, who could've predicted that? 256 00:10:14,138 --> 00:10:17,011 Hi. Good afternoon. Fine, and you? Thanks for asking. 257 00:10:17,044 --> 00:10:18,748 Listen, my name is Dennis Reynolds, 258 00:10:18,781 --> 00:10:20,919 and I'm on a family plan under the name Frank Reynolds, 259 00:10:20,952 --> 00:10:22,322 and I need a new phone, please. 260 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,125 Okay, I can help you with that here. 261 00:10:24,158 --> 00:10:25,762 Great. 262 00:10:25,795 --> 00:10:27,833 - Frank Reynolds, mm-hmm. - [RAPID TYPING] 263 00:10:31,741 --> 00:10:33,879 - My name's not that long. - So, 264 00:10:33,912 --> 00:10:35,983 looks like I can get you a replacement phone here. 265 00:10:36,016 --> 00:10:37,887 Can have it to you by end of day tomorrow. 266 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,391 Uh, no, that's-that's not gonna work. I need it today. 267 00:10:40,424 --> 00:10:43,363 Unfortunately, the phones are at our warehouse, so... 268 00:10:44,332 --> 00:10:46,403 Tell me about those, 269 00:10:46,436 --> 00:10:49,276 - 'cause those look like phones. - Those aren't the phones. 270 00:10:49,309 --> 00:10:50,746 - Those aren't the phones? - No. 271 00:10:50,779 --> 00:10:52,448 Hey, those aren't the phones, guys, so, 272 00:10:52,481 --> 00:10:54,185 you know, just so you know. Those are just boxes 273 00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,290 filled with phones that aren't the phones. 274 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,394 - Phones for new customers. - Oh, for new customer, right. 275 00:10:58,427 --> 00:11:00,732 Not for old customers. Not for the paying customers, 276 00:11:00,765 --> 00:11:02,068 the people who have been paying for months and months, 277 00:11:02,101 --> 00:11:03,470 for years and years and years and years. 278 00:11:03,504 --> 00:11:05,074 Let's punish those people and give the phones 279 00:11:05,107 --> 00:11:06,811 that are right there to the new customers. 280 00:11:06,844 --> 00:11:08,213 It's just how the system works. 281 00:11:08,246 --> 00:11:09,917 - Yeah, well, mm, that system. - [WATCH BEEPING] 282 00:11:09,950 --> 00:11:11,754 I've been running up against it all day. 283 00:11:11,787 --> 00:11:14,426 Well, I'll tell you what, pal. I am not mad at you, okay? 284 00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:16,196 I am mad at the system. 285 00:11:16,229 --> 00:11:18,467 Okay, but unfortunately the system isn't here 286 00:11:18,501 --> 00:11:21,941 for me to direct my frustrations at it, s... 287 00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:24,312 [DENNIS INHALES DEEPLY] 288 00:11:24,345 --> 00:11:26,249 [EXHALES] 289 00:11:26,282 --> 00:11:29,222 Good. Let's try something else. 290 00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:31,828 Um, what if we add a new line 291 00:11:31,861 --> 00:11:34,223 to the Frank Reynolds family plan? 292 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,529 Would that make me a new customer? 293 00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,238 Yeah, I can do that. I just need your PIN. 294 00:11:37,271 --> 00:11:39,226 Right, 'cause the PIN's the key to the phone, 295 00:11:39,261 --> 00:11:41,948 and the phone's the key to the car, and everything's been streamlined. 296 00:11:41,981 --> 00:11:44,820 Excuse me, please. I need to make a call on my watch. 297 00:11:44,853 --> 00:11:46,524 - Are you sure this is gonna work? - Charlie, 298 00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:48,260 diamonds are made under pressure. 299 00:11:48,293 --> 00:11:49,930 This is a pressure cooker. 300 00:11:49,963 --> 00:11:52,001 We're going to cook diamonds. It's very linear. 301 00:11:52,034 --> 00:11:53,872 - [PHONE BUZZING] - So genius. 302 00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:55,341 I just can't believe no one's ever thought of this before. 303 00:11:55,374 --> 00:11:57,299 - We're gonna be rich, man. - [DEE] Oh, I know. 304 00:11:57,334 --> 00:11:59,517 - It's Dennis. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, do not answer it. 305 00:11:59,550 --> 00:12:02,221 - It's a mental health day test. - A test. Mm. 306 00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:03,858 - Test? - Mm-hmm. 307 00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:05,929 In my day, if you wanted to get out of work, you... 308 00:12:05,962 --> 00:12:07,465 you hit yourself with a hammer 309 00:12:07,499 --> 00:12:10,071 or you got gnawed by a shark or something simple. 310 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,075 - [LINE RINGING] - No, not gonna pick up now. 311 00:12:12,108 --> 00:12:14,212 No, wh-wh-why would he? Unreal. 312 00:12:14,245 --> 00:12:18,253 Uh, let's try... 69-69. 313 00:12:18,286 --> 00:12:20,024 [LAUGHS SOFTLY] Okay. 314 00:12:20,057 --> 00:12:23,077 - [TYPING] - Yeah, that's it. - That worked? 315 00:12:23,112 --> 00:12:23,965 You're all set. 316 00:12:23,998 --> 00:12:25,368 - Seriously? - That's it. 317 00:12:25,401 --> 00:12:27,005 - This is the phone? - That's the phone. 318 00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,273 I'm gonna open the box, I'm gonna turn it on, 319 00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:29,376 the phone's going to work? 320 00:12:29,409 --> 00:12:31,013 Yup. It's gonna work. It's your phone. 321 00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:34,419 Whoo! [SCREAMS] 322 00:12:34,452 --> 00:12:36,557 Why won't you talk to each other?! 323 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:40,565 Talk! Talk! Talk! Talk! 324 00:12:40,598 --> 00:12:43,003 Talk! Talk! 325 00:12:43,036 --> 00:12:45,007 Dennis Reynolds. 326 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,546 D, E, "N" as in Nancy... 327 00:12:47,579 --> 00:12:49,850 License plate... "B" as in boy, 328 00:12:49,883 --> 00:12:52,388 SX355. 329 00:12:52,421 --> 00:12:54,493 [SMOOTH JAZZ VERSION OF "LISTEN TO YOUR HEART" PLAYING ON PHONE] 330 00:12:58,033 --> 00:12:59,870 [MALE AUTOMATED VOICE] I'm sorry. I didn't get that. 331 00:12:59,903 --> 00:13:01,473 Yeah, no, I know you didn't get it 'cause I didn't say it. 332 00:13:01,507 --> 00:13:03,010 I didn't say what it was. 333 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:04,547 Did you say "January"? 334 00:13:04,580 --> 00:13:06,149 No, I didn't say "January." I didn't say anything. 335 00:13:06,182 --> 00:13:07,886 I didn't give a month, I didn't give a day. 336 00:13:07,919 --> 00:13:10,157 Representative. No, representative. 337 00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,426 Human! Human! 338 00:13:11,459 --> 00:13:12,896 Oh. 339 00:13:12,929 --> 00:13:15,134 [MUSIC RESUMES] 340 00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:19,577 D, E, "N" as in "neighbor," 341 00:13:19,610 --> 00:13:21,547 I, S. 342 00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,083 Dennis Reynolds. 343 00:13:23,116 --> 00:13:24,887 "D" as in "Deliver me from this!" 344 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,289 - [WATCH BEEPING] - "E" as in "Engage with human." 345 00:13:26,322 --> 00:13:28,360 "N" as in "nightmare"! 346 00:13:28,393 --> 00:13:33,337 "N" as in "nightmare"! "I" as in "Is this real?!" 347 00:13:33,370 --> 00:13:36,028 "S" as in "Somebody help me!" 348 00:13:36,063 --> 00:13:38,080 There has to be a way to open this goddamn car! 349 00:13:38,113 --> 00:13:40,184 How do I open the car?! 350 00:13:40,217 --> 00:13:42,054 [BEEPING] 351 00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,593 Dennis Reynolds. [SIGHS] 352 00:13:44,626 --> 00:13:47,098 D, E, 353 00:13:47,131 --> 00:13:50,304 "N" as in "never-ending." 354 00:13:50,337 --> 00:13:52,175 - "N" as in... - [MALE VOICE] Thank you for calling 355 00:13:52,208 --> 00:13:54,112 - Tsuma Customer Care. - [DENNIS] Never gonna help me. 356 00:13:54,145 --> 00:13:55,181 [MALE VOICE] Your call is very important to us. 357 00:13:55,214 --> 00:13:57,017 Please enter your 17-digit VIN. 358 00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:01,126 Please say your name. 359 00:14:01,159 --> 00:14:04,199 - Dennis Reynolds. - Got it. Let me transfer you. 360 00:14:04,232 --> 00:14:06,203 [LINE RINGING] 361 00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:08,407 [DAISY] Thank you for calling Tsuma Customer Care. 362 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,346 My name is Daisy. May I please have your name and 17-digit VIN? 363 00:14:11,379 --> 00:14:12,983 No. No, no, no, no. No. 364 00:14:13,016 --> 00:14:15,254 I just ent... I ju... 365 00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:19,264 I just entered all that information into the system. 366 00:14:19,299 --> 00:14:21,399 - I'm sorry, sir. I get it, but I do... - That-That's okay. No, no. 367 00:14:21,432 --> 00:14:23,237 That's okay. Daisy, was it? 368 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:26,476 Listen, don't be sorry, okay? I'm not mad at you. 369 00:14:26,510 --> 00:14:29,215 I'm a little upset, but I'm upset at the situation, okay? 370 00:14:29,248 --> 00:14:31,019 And-and the situation is this, Daisy. 371 00:14:31,052 --> 00:14:32,990 If you'll just give me a second and indulge me, okay? 372 00:14:33,023 --> 00:14:37,031 [SIGHS] My new phone won't talk to my car. 373 00:14:37,064 --> 00:14:39,369 Okay, so I called the car rental company, 374 00:14:39,402 --> 00:14:41,306 and they put me on with a supervisor 375 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:42,643 who told me to call Tsuma Roadside, 376 00:14:42,676 --> 00:14:44,179 so I called Tsuma Roadside. 377 00:14:44,212 --> 00:14:45,515 Spoke to someone over there 378 00:14:45,548 --> 00:14:47,118 who put me on with another supervisor 379 00:14:47,151 --> 00:14:48,521 who told me to call the service center. 380 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,124 So I called the service center, spoke to about... 381 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:52,147 I don't know... two, three morons over there 382 00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:53,363 who had no answers for me whatsoever. 383 00:14:53,396 --> 00:14:55,367 They put me on with one of their supervisors, 384 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,240 and that person told me to call the car rental company again. 385 00:14:58,273 --> 00:14:59,677 So I called the car rental company, 386 00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:02,315 then roadside, service center, rental company, 387 00:15:02,348 --> 00:15:04,185 roadside, service center, rental company, 388 00:15:04,218 --> 00:15:05,655 roadside, service center, and around and around 389 00:15:05,688 --> 00:15:07,325 and around like that for hours and hours, 390 00:15:07,358 --> 00:15:09,128 until finally someone had the presence of mind 391 00:15:09,161 --> 00:15:10,999 to let me know there's a goddamn customer care line. 392 00:15:11,032 --> 00:15:12,536 Okay, so I called the customer care line 393 00:15:12,569 --> 00:15:15,007 and now I find myself talking to you, Daisy, 394 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,577 my little wildflower. 395 00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:19,315 And you ask me to enter in my VIN 396 00:15:19,348 --> 00:15:21,052 and my date of birth again, 397 00:15:21,085 --> 00:15:23,725 information which I already entered into your system. 398 00:15:23,758 --> 00:15:26,196 Okay, now, now, listen, Daisy, Daisy, 399 00:15:26,229 --> 00:15:28,535 bear with me here, okay? 400 00:15:28,568 --> 00:15:31,072 I know you didn't create the system, okay? 401 00:15:31,105 --> 00:15:33,043 So you are not to blame. 402 00:15:33,076 --> 00:15:35,682 But somebody did create the system, 403 00:15:35,715 --> 00:15:38,086 and I would very much like to blame that person. 404 00:15:38,119 --> 00:15:41,238 So... who is that? 405 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,696 Sir, I'm sorry. Who is...? 406 00:15:42,729 --> 00:15:45,275 Who is the person who created your customer service system 407 00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:47,639 in such a way that the information entered 408 00:15:47,672 --> 00:15:49,475 into the computer isn't passed on 409 00:15:49,509 --> 00:15:51,514 to the human representative?! 410 00:15:51,547 --> 00:15:53,350 Sir, I don't know. I can send you to one of my supervisors. 411 00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:54,720 No, no, no, no, no. No, Dai... no. 412 00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:56,323 No, don't send me to a supervisor, Daisy. 413 00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,427 Daisy, Daisy... 414 00:15:58,460 --> 00:16:00,197 it's just you and me. 415 00:16:00,230 --> 00:16:02,301 Just you and me, Daisy, fighting the good fight 416 00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:04,239 against a broken system engineered 417 00:16:04,272 --> 00:16:06,243 to drive us both so crazy 418 00:16:06,276 --> 00:16:08,377 that we have to take days off 419 00:16:08,412 --> 00:16:10,518 for our mental health! 420 00:16:10,551 --> 00:16:13,056 - [BEEPING] - [SIGHING] 421 00:16:13,089 --> 00:16:14,459 Daisy? 422 00:16:14,493 --> 00:16:16,096 Yes? 423 00:16:16,129 --> 00:16:18,643 The Tsuma. It's made in America, right? 424 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:19,769 Yes, it is. 425 00:16:21,018 --> 00:16:22,103 Where? 426 00:16:25,715 --> 00:16:27,752 [ROLLING THUNDER] 427 00:16:33,063 --> 00:16:35,334 [WOMAN] Yup. Great, wonderful. [LAUGHS] 428 00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:36,737 All right, yes, okay. Yup. 429 00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:39,342 Oh, let me call you back. 430 00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,714 [WOMAN CLEARS THROAT] 431 00:16:41,747 --> 00:16:44,052 Hello. How are you? 432 00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:46,122 I've been better. 433 00:16:46,155 --> 00:16:48,126 [BOTH LAUGH] 434 00:16:48,159 --> 00:16:50,130 I've been worse. [LAUGHS] 435 00:16:50,163 --> 00:16:52,134 Is the CEO in? 436 00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:53,805 I'm sorry. Uh, who are you? 437 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:56,376 Dennis Reynolds. 438 00:16:56,409 --> 00:17:00,184 D, E, "N" as in "Nancy," N, I, S. 439 00:17:00,217 --> 00:17:02,756 Tsuma customer for, uh, 440 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:06,162 oh, six hours and 17 minutes. 441 00:17:06,195 --> 00:17:08,534 I have some helpful feedback 442 00:17:08,567 --> 00:17:10,538 that I would very much like to pass on to your boss. 443 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,441 - Oh. [LAUGHS] - [DENNIS LAUGHS] 444 00:17:12,474 --> 00:17:15,314 Can I get you a water or something? 445 00:17:15,347 --> 00:17:17,653 Listen, I have traveled 446 00:17:17,686 --> 00:17:20,391 through blistering sun and pouring rain to get here, 447 00:17:20,424 --> 00:17:22,461 so, if you don't mind, I'll just wait. 448 00:17:22,495 --> 00:17:25,401 Uh, he is not in the office 449 00:17:25,434 --> 00:17:27,271 this week, 450 00:17:27,304 --> 00:17:29,677 but customer feedback is very important to him, 451 00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:33,317 so, if you'd like to leave him a message, 452 00:17:33,350 --> 00:17:35,522 I'll make sure he gets it. 453 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,825 [WOMAN CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 454 00:17:39,195 --> 00:17:41,600 If I leave you a message, 455 00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:44,205 can you assure me 456 00:17:44,238 --> 00:17:46,644 that you will get this to him? 457 00:17:46,677 --> 00:17:48,848 Absolutely. I'll make sure he gets it 458 00:17:48,881 --> 00:17:51,452 when he gets back from the beach house. 459 00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,526 [WATCH BEEPING] 460 00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:59,168 - The beach, huh? - Mm-hmm. 461 00:17:59,201 --> 00:18:01,238 - Yeah. - [DENNIS LAUGHS] 462 00:18:02,007 --> 00:18:04,178 I was supposed to go to the beach today. 463 00:18:04,211 --> 00:18:05,849 - That's nice. [LAUGHS] - Yeah. 464 00:18:05,882 --> 00:18:08,186 - How about that, huh? - [LAUGHING] 465 00:18:08,219 --> 00:18:09,656 [DENNIS LAUGHS] 466 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,459 [DENNIS SNIFFLES] 467 00:18:11,493 --> 00:18:14,398 Which beach? 468 00:18:24,322 --> 00:18:26,757 [WOMAN] Brandon, dinner's ready! 469 00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:41,185 Hi. 470 00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:47,297 ["LISTEN TO YOUR HEART" BY ROXETTE PLAYING] 471 00:18:56,583 --> 00:18:58,620 ♪ ♪ 472 00:19:08,306 --> 00:19:13,751 ♪ I know there's something in the wake of your smile ♪ 473 00:19:13,784 --> 00:19:19,530 ♪ I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah ♪ 474 00:19:19,563 --> 00:19:23,671 ♪ You've built a love, but that love falls apart ♪ 475 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,409 ♪ Your little piece of heaven ♪ 476 00:19:26,442 --> 00:19:29,215 ♪ Turns too dark ♪ 477 00:19:29,248 --> 00:19:31,854 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 478 00:19:31,887 --> 00:19:34,693 ♪ When he's calling for you ♪ 479 00:19:34,726 --> 00:19:37,331 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 480 00:19:37,364 --> 00:19:40,404 ♪ There's nothing else you can do ♪ 481 00:19:40,437 --> 00:19:43,443 ♪ I don't know where you're going ♪ 482 00:19:43,476 --> 00:19:45,849 ♪ And I don't know why ♪ 483 00:19:45,882 --> 00:19:48,721 ♪ But listen to your heart ♪ 484 00:19:48,754 --> 00:19:55,868 ♪ Before you tell him goodbye ♪ 485 00:20:03,517 --> 00:20:09,930 ♪ Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile ♪ 486 00:20:09,963 --> 00:20:15,040 ♪ The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah ♪ 487 00:20:15,073 --> 00:20:17,278 ♪ They're swept away ♪ 488 00:20:17,311 --> 00:20:19,516 ♪ And nothing is what is seems ♪ 489 00:20:19,549 --> 00:20:21,754 - ♪ The feeling of belonging ♪ - ♪ Belonging ♪ 490 00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:25,294 ♪ To your dreams ♪ 491 00:20:25,327 --> 00:20:27,331 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 492 00:20:27,364 --> 00:20:30,772 ♪ When he's calling for you ♪ 493 00:20:30,805 --> 00:20:33,343 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 494 00:20:33,376 --> 00:20:36,416 ♪ There's nothing else you can do ♪ 495 00:20:36,449 --> 00:20:39,021 ♪ I don't know where you're going ♪ 496 00:20:39,054 --> 00:20:41,660 ♪ And I don't know why ♪ 497 00:20:41,693 --> 00:20:44,900 ♪ But listen to your heart ♪ 498 00:20:44,933 --> 00:20:50,878 ♪ Before you tell him goodbye. ♪ 499 00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,690 ♪ ♪ 500 00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:04,405 [DINGING] 501 00:21:04,438 --> 00:21:06,409 [DENNIS SIGHS] 502 00:21:06,442 --> 00:21:09,044 This is a medical marvel. 503 00:21:09,079 --> 00:21:10,417 You lowered your blood pressure 504 00:21:10,450 --> 00:21:13,658 by 20 points in less than a minute, but how? 505 00:21:13,691 --> 00:21:16,697 Well, just let off a little steam, all naturally. 506 00:21:16,730 --> 00:21:18,701 Told you, Dr. Tsuma. 507 00:21:18,734 --> 00:21:20,070 - Hmm. - [PHONE RINGING] 508 00:21:20,103 --> 00:21:22,909 Oh. Excuse me. 509 00:21:24,582 --> 00:21:26,449 - Hello? - [CHARLIE] Oh, hey, Dennis. 510 00:21:26,482 --> 00:21:28,521 Uh, are-are we above or below sea level? 511 00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:30,591 I'll be right in. 512 00:21:32,996 --> 00:21:35,300 ["LISTEN TO YOUR HEART" BY ROXETTE PLAYING] 513 00:21:37,929 --> 00:21:40,376 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 514 00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:46,489 - ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ - ♪ Oh, take a listen to it ♪ 515 00:21:46,523 --> 00:21:48,393 ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪ 516 00:21:48,426 --> 00:21:51,967 - ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ - ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 517 00:21:52,736 --> 00:21:54,773 ♪ Take a, take a listen to it ♪ 518 00:21:54,806 --> 00:21:57,679 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 519 00:21:57,712 --> 00:21:59,716 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 520 00:21:59,749 --> 00:22:02,655 - ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ - ♪ Take a listen to it ♪ 521 00:22:05,628 --> 00:22:06,997 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 522 00:22:07,030 --> 00:22:10,572 ♪ Heart... ♪ 523 00:22:10,605 --> 00:22:12,642 - ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ - ♪ Listen to it ♪ 524 00:22:12,675 --> 00:22:14,713 ♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪ 525 00:22:14,746 --> 00:22:16,650 ♪ Ooh, oh-oh ♪ 526 00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,654 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 527 00:22:18,687 --> 00:22:21,994 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ 528 00:22:22,027 --> 00:22:23,798 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 529 00:22:23,831 --> 00:22:27,906 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh ♪ 530 00:22:27,939 --> 00:22:29,408 ♪ Listen to your heart ♪ 531 00:22:29,441 --> 00:22:33,718 ♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪ 532 00:22:33,751 --> 00:22:35,722 ♪ Listen, listen ♪ 533 00:22:35,755 --> 00:22:38,761 ♪ ♪ 534 00:22:38,794 --> 00:22:40,831 ♪ Listen. ♪ 535 00:22:53,724 --> 00:22:56,697 [TRIO CHANTING BACKWARDS] 536 00:22:56,730 --> 00:23:02,708 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.MY-SUBS.com 40411

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