All language subtitles for alone_-_s01e07

I'm sick.

Too much shellfish. If my body doesn't
do well with the diet here, that'll make

me pull out.

I don't know if I'm done yet.

Weather is the hardest on you
psychologically and physically. It's

just relentless.

You would just knock yourself in the
head with a rock to escape it.

When the weather's like this, you just
get to the point where you just don't

want to be out here anymore.

My gear is growing mold.

It's been wet for so long. That's bad
news.

See the mold?

It's not good. The wind's probably
blowing like 40, 50 mile an hour through

the trees at least. The temperature's
dropping.

The sky looks evil.

There's some visitor intriguing entrance
at my chamber door.

This is going to be a bitch.

We have to film it and we're totally
alone.

Nobody knows what it's like here except
for the 10 guys out here doing it. I

want to get sheltered. There's nobody
here but me.

It's so hard doing this.

I feel like I'm starving.

Pretty sure I just saw a cougar at all.

Last man standing wins $500,000.

I don't want to go home. I want to win.

It's the chance in a lifetime, but it's
not worth dying for.

I have kind of a story about last night.

It's midnight, and I'm kind of half
awake, and I hear this rustle, and I

look over, and there's a mouse just,
like, hanging out on my rain jacket.

And it just, like, ran away into the
forest.

And I was thinking, hmm, I've been out
here for a long time.

I am not above eating mice at the
moment.

So, I figure there's a really good trap
that I know that is really good for

rodents and such.

I think I'm going to set a few, see if I
can get some mice to eat, and it would

be nice to have some meat.

I didn't know how hard it would be just
not having enough food.

I've never, ever been so hungry in my
life.

What we're going to do, we're going to
carve a Paiute deadfall trap.

It's a trap that's used a lot in the
southwest United States.

It's really highly effective.

Instant kill.

Very humane as well.

I figure I'm probably better at trapping
and hunting than I am at fishing anyhow.

Might as well put this line to good use.

Tie it on here.

Now we make the trigger.

We want to carve a nice little tiny
piece.

Almost rectangle-shaped.

A little tab, and it's got to be real
nice and flat on both ends.

That's what we tie our string to.

Now we can really see this trap coming
to life.

This rests right here.

Stone goes right there.

And this stick pulls around.

Trigger goes like so.

Perfect, actually.

Now we've got our trigger stick.

All the pieces.

Made just right.

Might get us some food tonight.

I take life very seriously and my family
very seriously. I take Mother Nature

very seriously, but I don't take myself
very seriously.

Mentally, I'm pretty tough as far as my
mindset goes.

I kind of view success as stumbling from
failure to failure without a loss of

enthusiasm.

I'd be so dead right now if I was an
animal.

Bad things can happen to you, but don't
let your mindset dwell on that.

Try to stay focused on the good things.
Try to kind of ration the good things

that happen to me.

Ah.

Got it. One trap.

Bunch more to go if I want a decent trap
line.

I rarely ever lose enthusiasm over
something.

It takes a lot of breaking me down
before I actually break and before I

actually admit defeat on things.

I can fail and fail and fail over again
and just keep on going and keep on

trying my best.

Ha ha, this is perfect.

This is a perfect setup.

Very, very sensitive trigger.

Can't even see him on camera.

I've got all these bloody spots on my
hands, all these little nicks

everywhere.

But hopefully it results in food
tomorrow.

But we'll keep going and we'll keep
pushing through.

Keep pushing.

Today is all about fishing, nothing
else. The weather's nice. I'm going to

go down there and throw some lines in.

Probably use the floats that I found
yesterday and create some, like, trot

lines. Found a float.

It's never going to wash up.

More things that potentially could yield
food.

There has to be some fish out there.

What I'm aiming to do is make a trot
line, which is basically a line that

runs along the surface with floats and
then hanging off it down into the water.

are lines with more hooks on it. And so
that way you have fixed hooks or more

fishing for you while you're not
actually present.

I need to find sustainable ways to bring
in calories.

And so far, I haven't.

If this starts to pull in food for me,
this will mean huge rewards.

This will be a big deal.

Okay.

I do feel like I have a place here.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that I
feel experienced here or knowledgeable.

I don't know all the secrets to the land
and how to obtain food.

So I'm trying to listen. I think the
land will teach you.

I have to learn the secrets of the area
to make it work for me.

Between each one of these, I'll put one
or two lines.

I've got some snails that I gathered for
bait and a few other things, and just

let them sit out there and see what
happens.

So first things first today, we're going
to check the traps just here around

camp. Field mouse traps.

Trap number one, not triggered.

Trap number two, triggered.

Nothing, but the bait wasn't taken, so
that's good. Looking around the other

traps, not triggered, but the bait was
taken.

Then also not triggered, but the bait
was taken.

Hope for better luck tomorrow.

There's no way to explain how tough this
is.

You're just hungry all the time. All
day, you're just hungry.

You just want a little something.

I've spent my entire adult life living
off of pizza and pizza rolls.

A healthy balance of those two foods.

Being out here with no food is really
hurting me bad.

Bad.

Lee, that hurts.

Knuckle buster.

Man, this is all really just so
draining.

It wears you out so much.

God, Lee.

Whatever.

It's not going today.

Whatever.

I'll set it tomorrow.

The local people we talked to, when we
told them what we were going to do, they

actually laughed out loud at us. They
were like, oh, you picked the wrong time

of year, you know.

And we did in a sense because in the
forest, there's not a whole lot for you.

There's no berries.

There's not the animal movements that
you normally have. All the plants and

stuff is not like it's going to be in
the spring.

So it pushes you out to the seashore.
That's kind of where the resources are

at.

Man, I got some holes in this net that
are going to have to be fixed, that's

for sure.

Nothing. Not even a single solitary
crab.

So, the shoreline, a bit of a strikeout
today.

Nothing in the gill net.

So, I have a couple of plastic bottles
that I found on the beach, washed up.

I'm going to build some fish traps.

I'm going to take the cap off.

Take your knives.

and select the space.

This bottle has ridges.

I use those to lock the cap when I turn
it back in. There's one, two, three,

four ridges, so I go two in and then put
the tip of my knife there gently and

then just cut it all the way around
that.

Try to keep it straight.

Just like that.

And then once you get the top off, you
just spin it around

and force it back into the opening.

Kind of like that.

And those ridges that are in this bottle
will actually help lock that in, I

think.

So now the fish goes in through the neck
and gets... as how to get back out.

I've heard of people catching prawns and
similar traps.

So I'm not looking for big fish,
obviously.

Basically, this is a bait catcher. This
is going to catch me bait.

Tide's coming in, so I'm going to go
ahead and put these things out in this

tidal pool area, try to lock them down
with rocks and see what happens.

Kind of make an artificial cave, a place
where a fish would feel safe.

I think I'm going to do these other two.
I've got some

kind of green slime growing here that's
like teflon.

I think I'm going to do one face in one
way and one face in the other.

Push comes to shove. Whatever gets
caught in these little traps can also be

food.

That'll work.

My main issue right now is a stable food
source.

Because if you can't find food security,
then you're done.

On our way to go check my gill net.

Hope I got a fish.

That'd be a great start of the day right
there.

I don't know.

Might just be a piece of seaweed
hanging.

Check it out.

You know, I'm not messing around. I want
food. I want to eat.

It's just all about food. Food every
day.

If I can't find food, I have to leave.

I don't want that to happen.

I've got a fish in my net.

It's a good-sized fish, but I don't know
if I want to eat this guy.

It might be old, but it's also been
freezing out, so he might be okay.

We'll check him out.

This thing reeks.

I haven't even cut it open.

Its eyes are kind of looking weird.

Its skin is just, like, wearing away.

Look at that.

Yeah, the meat's rotten.

That's a bummer, man.

And that's awful.

That's awful. That sucks because I
missed out on an incredible meal.

And this fish was killed.

And I didn't, you know, get to harvest
it and honor it properly and eat it and

enjoy it.

I just, I don't know, I'm just very
troubled today because of all these

things going on in my mind.

This would be a different situation if I
had.

Four salmon right now.

I just don't want to be here anymore.

I dropped a trot line with about five or
six lines coming off it that are fishing

for me right now.

I'm going to set up my boat.

and go cruise around that rocky point
and see what's going on. Time is of the

essence. The currents are shifting as we
speak, and if I get caught out in them,

that's danger.

I've got to get them working.

It's all about having food production
out here, and if I don't work, then it's

not happening.

Making a beeline towards my fishing
line.

No hits or nothing.

There's not even snags or not even bite.

It's one thing when you don't get a
fish.

When you're fishing for fun.

It's another thing when you don't get to
fish, when you don't have much for food.

It's kind of a downer.

And as much as I'd like to say that I'm
always strong or always optimistic, the

reality is that I'm not.

Putting all those lines in the water and
not even having a little bite just took

my confidence level and just dropped it.

Just so hard doing this alone.

so much better with a friend.

And nobody knows when we're gonna be
done.

I don't wanna spend.

Christmas out here?

I want to spend it with the people I
care about.

Thanksgiving.

Eating seaweed.

Stewed up.

There's just no end in sight.

Let us be alone.

The tide has went out enough that I can
check my fish traps.

I mean, ideally you want to set a lot of
traps, but I didn't make that many. I

just made three different.

And if it doesn't hit, I'll just make
more of them and change up the location.

It's just a process.

This is step one.

Check the fish traps and see how they
get.

And the first one, that cloudy water
there, pour some of

that out.

I'd say that's a success.

Into the pot they go.

And there we have it.

So now I'm going to take this piece of
trash that just fed me and put it right

back so it can feed me again.

And here's another piece of trash.

Oh, look at that.

Look at that, ladies and gentlemen.

Yet another success story.

Repurposing of trash for sustenance.

Into the pot they go.

That is starting to look like breakfast
brunch, what have you. We still have a

couple more.

Oh, another success story.

Into the pot they go.

Now, that's fish soup right there. One
went back to freedom at the bottom.

Okay. Now, that's survival, people.
That's payoff right there.

That's payday.

That's life.

That's life-giving nutrients right
there.

Vitamins and minerals, eyes, bones.

I'm getting it all.

I'm getting it all.

We have a thing where I come from. You
got to make hay while the sun shines. So

I'm getting it right now. And this is
the time to act and make a run for some

food. I need to make that happen for
myself because I am not done yet.

Hungry face.

Times of the essence. Every day without
fish or protein from the sea is a day

that I can't stay out here as long.

So I'm paddling right towards my trot
line.

And I want that thing to be full of
juicy, juicy, juicy fish.

I only see one fish.

Which means the other one

disappeared?

Something's happened to my line.

There's only one man standing over here.

Oh, there's seaweed powder.

Oh, what in the...

Whoa!

I caught a fish!

I got a fish!

Awesome.

Oh, your breakfast, buddy.

That was the coolest surprise in the
world.

And I didn't even catch him by his
mouth.

I caught him by his gill.

I'm feeling like those lines out there
are actually going to do some good.

And I'm going to put another one out
tomorrow.

In fact, I got one fish. This made my
day.

I didn't really debone it. I'm just
going to eat it as is.

Too hungry.

Too much work.

Oh, man, I've been missing it.

It's easy to be grateful for things
here, but things are scary.

But once I go back, I really hope I hang
on to my gratitude.

That's good.

I think some part of me will always
remember this moment.

I can't really forget stuff like this
very easily.

I can't believe this is happening.

This is a very big deal.

My net is gone.

I don't know if it was taken by the tide
or if it was taken by an animal.

I can't believe this happened. I was
worried about the current taking it

yesterday. That's why I put those rock
piles yesterday.

Oh, my God.

It has flowed some weight.

So if the current plus the high tide was
enough to lift it high enough, it could

have lifted the stake. Then it would
have just floated right out.

My neck could be anywhere right now.

This is very bad.

That cut me off from my food source.

I mean, it's that simple.

Well, I'm going to walk around a little
bit.

Pray I got hung up on rocks or
something.

This is like my main food source right
now.

And I'm really behind all galleries.

Oh, my God.

This is so bad.

The net is massively powerful in this
environment.

Able to catch multiple fish and crabs
and do it all by itself. You just set it

up and walk away. You come back and
there's food.

And that's gone.

It's incredibly crushing.

I can't produce any fish.

I'm done.

The fish traps were hit.

A little bottle, packed full.

I've been thinking since the fish traps
on a small scale are so successful, I

think I'm going to try to go for a
bigger one.

One thing that I'm really getting from
this is the psychology of survival.

It's amazing what you can do.

Things that you didn't think that you
could do are things that you actually

can endure.

that in our air-conditioned,
climate-controlled, swipe-the-card

lives, we really don't have to.

And I think that's detrimental to a
human. I think we're designed and

capable to do way more than what we do.

And the only way to really discover that
is to get out there and do it.

The wilderness is a good place to start
that.

A whole lot of work for a fish.

Probably my seventh trip of carrying
material for that fish basket.

And we're nowhere near done.

The next time you order fish at your
local restaurant, remember this lesson.

So I'm going to go ahead and start on
the fish trap.

I think some hoops are in order, first
thing.

See, that bends up pretty nice.

Need to try to envision that. Okay,
here's my hoop.

Got my sticks.

Fish comes in. There's a cone here
dropping down to a small opening.

The fish goes in.

And you've got dead space here and can't
get out.

But we'll see. Who knows what will show
up in this thing.

This is largely...

Experimental for me. I've not done one
just like this tight.

So I've got my hoop.

I'm going to run long pieces down, and
they're going to join crisscross

together like the top of a teepee. I
just made this smaller loop, and I'm

thinking about maybe putting it in here
somewhere.

All these other pieces will tie to it.

That will give it some structure between
this hoop and that hoop. And then tie

the ends together, just interlock, just
lash them together.

And then for filler, come in with some
smaller branches and weave over and

under and over and under with the sides.
That's what I'll do just like that with

sticks and vines where it'll actually
contain fish or whatever.

First couple of weeks after I got here,
it was all I could do to just, you know,

just focus on the basics and constantly
reassess.

And now I just feel like I've come to a
place where it's just life. You know,

I'm just doing it.

Just doing what I have to do to live out
here.

Definitely turning more spiritual.

My focus is not so much on the water and
the shelter and the fire and the food,

because I know I have those things.

You know, it's becoming more inward
looking.

And it's pretty powerful, pretty deep,
and it's hard to put into words, too.

Whenever my journey ends, And I don't
even know when that's going to be.

I've done, you know, what I came here to
do as far as, you

know, there's no doubt in my mind I can
survive here.

There'll be a winner, you know, somebody
who stays the longest. But I don't feel

like I'm competing against the other
guys.

I think we're all competing against
ourself.

Winning. It's defined differently for
each of us out here.

I think that victory for me would be
leaving here at peace with

myself. And I don't know what that is
yet.

There have been some awakenings and
spiritual things that have happened.

Sometimes you don't always like what you
see.

Sometimes you become aware that maybe
you need to change some things.

Like every other person out there that's
honest with themselves, I have my

regrets.

I've made my mistakes.

And some of them are very painful, very
hard to look at, very hard to relive.

But when you come out here in the wild,
you have no choice. They will come

bubbling up to the surface.

There's no suppressing them. They will
come to the fore, and you have to meet

them. You have to own them.

My relationship with my son is one of my
things I wish I could better.

And time's not over with.

God's still merciful. Things might
change.

I'd like to have more involvement and
time with him. And I've tried a lot, but

can only do so much from one end, you
know.

People make mistakes.

I think we're good.

I mean, I look at this thing, and I
really don't see anything escaping out

of here that would matter. That thing is
pretty solid.

You know, it's got some holes, but it's
all small.

And anything that would get through
these openings, you know, it's the kind

of stuff that I'm already getting in my
little trap, so no loss, really. And I

don't want to trap every little fish out
of there. I don't want to do any damage

to the...

to the population of anything here.

So this is where we are on the
funneling, channeling structure.

I feel like, I mean, yeah, there's a
hole or two in there, but I see no

reason why we couldn't go ahead and try
this.

Now we've got the cone in.

There it is in all its glory.

We're starting to see results or a lack
of results.

There will be fish or a lack of fish.

Those are the two possible outcomes. So
I have a 50-50 shock, which is

statistically pretty good.

One thing you learn when you spend a lot
of time with yourself is that no one's

perfect, especially you.

And this is my dead-level best I can do
right now with a fish trap. I don't know

what I'm doing with it.

I'm just trying.

That's all you can do is try.

Yeah.

I'm going to take this home with me when
it's all over.

Did you see me showing up at the airline
with this?

Put that with my checked luggage,
please. Thank you.

I wonder if it's ever happened before,
if anybody's ever shown up with a fish

trap.

Put your little name tag on it.

I'm going to do that, or try to.

The sun is trying to peek through,
actually, a little bit. So I've taken

off a couple layers and I'm going to
check out the fish basket that I put out

yesterday.

I've never trapped fish.

So netting them and trapping them is all
calculated guesses.

I'm doing this with a view toward food.

More food, different food, variety.

Take what I can get.

Some better than none.

And... Day

one on

the fish basket is a strike. No joy.

No joy on the fish basket.

You know, I've had successes and
failures with the gill net. It's been on

and off.

So you can't just, you know, on day one
go, well, there's nothing in there. It's

a wrap.

And I've got to give it time. I'm going
to give it a week and see if there's any

traffic at all. Let that bait in there
get real funky and rotten a little bit.

Let the smell dissipate.

And then, if nothing, I'll shoot for
deeper water, you know.

I think the biggest thing that I took
away from making this thing, was the

realization that I'm a lot stronger than
I give myself credit for.

And I think when you do think you've hit
a wall or found a limit, it's usually

just a mental one. So you just examine
it, dismiss it, and step over it and go

to the next one. And you just keep doing
that over and over.

And there's probably even no such thing
as limits.

Oh, madness.

Lots of work went into this.

None of the traps were triggered last
night.

Maybe it was just because it was so
freaking cold.

It's got a bunch of frost all over
everything, including the traps.

Blanketed. Everything's blanketed with
frost.

Frost is everywhere.

It's cold.

Nothing positive to report right now at
all.

Nothing positive to report.

I mean, other than making it another
day.

It just gets depressing after a while.

You think you found something that's
working really well, and then it fails.

It's almost like there's no sure way of
doing anything out here.

I guess such a big part of survival is
luck to an extent. It has a lot to do

with your skills, but then there's a big
luck factor involved, and I've got to be

the least lucky person on the planet.

At least in regards to survival.

Anyway, sorry for depressing you.

The more I stay out here, the more the
urgency for food kind of increases.

I'm not used to feeling this way. I'm
not used to feeling this helpless.

There's nothing I can really do right
now for myself.

There's literally no other way to get
food out here. There are no wild edibles

out right now. I have no access to any
good place to fish at the moment.

I've never, ever been so hungry in my
life.

Never.

I'm definitely losing it.

Not good mentally.

I am not good in the head right now.

Morning of day 32.

Another hungry, hungry night.

Pretty hungry.

We're going to go check the traps.

Hopefully we can find a mouse or
something in there.

It's freezing cold, so we'll have to do
this quick.

Looking around at the traps, I can see
that only one of them was triggered.

But this one.

is the one that was triggered. And if we
look at it ever so closely, that looks

like a tail.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Whammo!

Mouthy beast coming right up.

A skinning and gutting mite is not a
task for the faint of heart.

Kind of nice, the big fat one too. This
guy's got a lot of meat on him.

I freaking hate mice though. I like how
they taste, but I hate the animals.

Now comes the hard part.

Gutting the beast.

Because I don't want to pierce any of
those gross internal things.

I don't want to taint the meat.

It's hard with these big old gloves on
to actually get down in there.

But I'm just not tough enough to do it
without gloves yet.

When it's all said and done, see that
little guy?

Hardly even looks like a mouse.

Just a delicious piece of meat.

We had a few minutes. We'll be good to
go. Cooking on the shelter can be really

frustrating.

Smoke gets all in your eyes, and you're
like, ah, gross.

Let's see how this mousey's doing.

And the mouse is done.

Let's eat him.

It looks so glorious.

Cooked to perfection.

You eat the mouse all day. It's good.

It's good.

It is deep-fried a mouse. It tastes
good.

It tastes like goo.

Mmm.

Dang.

Super skinny now.

Which is a good thing, I guess.

At least my wife will be happy.

Realizing that maybe my camp isn't in
the best spot. Food isn't close.

So I'm going to move a camp. But I don't
have a roof over my head tonight.

It's so cold.

This environment is so brutal.

And it's just ice cold.

My whole plan has gone out the window.

Started losing it. I've been out here
for so long and I'm so sick of it. At

this point, I just want to go home.

It is frigid. It's the coldest it's
been.

I'm really thinking to myself, what are
you doing here?

I'm so over it.