All language subtitles for alone_-_s01e08

I got a fish.

Those lines out there are actually going
to do some good. Fresh fish is a pretty

amazing resource to have.

No joy on the fish basket. There's
nothing in there. Sometimes you don't

always like what you see. Maybe you need
to change some things.

I can't believe this is happening.

My net is gone. Oh, my God. This is very
bad.

I can't produce any fish.

I'm done.

That looks like a tail.

Mouthy beast.

Not a task for the faint of heart.

This is going to be a bitch.

We have to film it and we're totally
alone.

Nobody knows what it's like here.
There's 10 guys out here doing it. How

do we get shelter? There's nobody here
but me.

It's so hard doing this.

I'm scared to death.

I feel like I'm starving.

Pretty sure I just saw a cougar fall.

The last man standing wins $500,000.

I don't want to go home. I want to win.

It's the chance in a lifetime, but it's
not worth dying over.

They're really risky.

I'm about to pull down my structure with
the idea that I'm going to build a yurt

within the next day or two.

So insane.

But I'm just going to go for it. That's
how I work best is having a goal and

breaking it out and busting it up. So
what you're about to see is me

deconstructing this thing and having an
open shelter.

And go.

Why would I even want to move?

Moving could bring greater access to
resources. That's really what it's all

about.

The First Nations people live down by
the sea. You have fish year-round in the

river, and then you have all the fish
trying to swim into the river, like the

salmon. If you're living out in the
wild, you want your walk between your

daily needs to be as short as possible.

And so I'm realizing that maybe my camp
isn't in the best spot.

Food isn't close.

I'm just tired of hauling stuff up and
down that hill.

First load.

One of many.

A move is a big deal. It's a huge deal.

Energetically, emotionally, it amps
everything up.

I've got to be able to establish a safe
place to rest my head for the night.

And I've got to hope for good weather.

I could go over there and be hit with a
storm.

But there's food over there.

You got to go where there's food,
otherwise I'm not going to make it.

So, folks, this may not look like much,
but this is the future site of my yurt.

Right now I'm going to clear out an
area, find a nice circle space that's

about eight foot in diameter.

I just have to have a low-hanging
branch.

This guy right here is right in my way.
So I'm going to climb the tree and drop

it.

A little dangerous considering I'm the
only person out here.

So I got about four or five hours to
make something happen.

Whoa.

Oh, it took out my leg.

Good thing I had points of contact. It
moved real fast.

Cat-like reflexes.

Okay, now I have this space above me
clear, which is huge.

Now I can do some of the work that I
really want to do.

You know how I feel physically here?

It's tired.

There's a lack of simple sugars and
carbs here.

And it's amazing how having sugar in
your body changes your chemistry.

Working on just proteins and fats, I
feel slower.

Walking up a hill is like, oh my gosh,
this is like the longest hill in all the

world. Moving around is a little bit
more sticky and tricky, for sure.

The energy isn't there.

Yes, little birdie, I'm making a hound.

I will be your neighbor for as long as I
possibly can.

And hopefully one day, a bunch of people
in a boat will come and get me with

oatmeal cookies, my girlfriend, and
pumpkin pie.

I can't operate without sustenance in my
body doing the stuff that I'm doing.

Like, if I'm out there swinging an axe
with my head reeling because I haven't

put enough calories in it, that's dumb.

Well rested.

No rain, but you probably can't see it.

It's snowing ever so slightly.

Snow!

Not very much, though.

Very cool.

Anyway, probably work on more traps
today, because that's how you get food

out here.

Let's go ahead and check the traps out,
actually.

Let's go to trap number one.

Dang it.

Nothing.

Oh, well. Can't win them all.

Let's go to trap number two.

Definitely went off.

Moment of truth.

Wind must have blown it over.

Let's check trap number three, which is
basically right by it.

Hey, we got something.

Maybe one little mouse, but hey, that's
food.

It's a trophy to me.

It's a dead fault for after getting more
and more frustrating to set.

I'm not getting myself a sustainable
amount of food.

I haven't been able to catch more than
one mouth a day, and that is nothing

real substantial.

I always have the back of my head.

I have this duty to my wife to protect
her and to take care of her and to

comfort her.

She's pregnant, and so I always... I
want to be the provider for my family.

I am pretty bummed that I have to miss
seeing all the progression.

That's what's been really exciting so
far is just to see how things go along

and watching the baby grow.

Yeah. Not being around to take care of
you and the baby.

Emotionally, it's hard to take.

Not a lot of meat, but I do like the
taste of actual meat.

Being away from my wife, it really puts
me in this weird place where I doubt my

purpose, and that really just wears on
me.

Either I'm just nuts, or the mouse
doesn't taste that bad.

Probably not.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend doing
this at home.

Obviously. Yum.

One mouse.

Nice, quickly approaching.

It's going to be a cold.

As you can see, all my stuff is just
behind me. I don't have a roof over my

head tonight. I didn't quite get far as
I'd like today.

I mean, and that's about as vulnerable
as I've been.

And out here, it's just me. Just me
perpetuating, maintaining.

I just don't always know what to do.

So cold.

Before I left, my mom said, Lucas really
just comes down to making good

decisions.

Press your instincts, and I think you'll
do wonderful.

I think you should watch your back and
just always be alert and

do what you need to do. Keep yourself
warm and just hope

that you'll be okay.

I'd like to think for the most part that
I am making good decisions.

But it's damn cold.

It's about as damn cold as you get.

It could be really dangerous for me.

Just hanging on to life by a thread.

Good morning.

It is frigid. I mean, I'm even sleeping
in gloves here.

Yeah, my water is frozen. I mean, it's
not solid ice, but it's frozen around

the outer edges of all the canteens and
containers of water.

And I slipped my boots on and went down
to check the shoreline just to see where

the tide was at. And in the time it took
me to walk down there and straight back,

we're talking, I don't know, 10 minutes,
12 minutes.

My extremities, fingers and toes, no
good.

Bone chilling.

Wow, this is frozen, man.

You can hear the blades of grass
cracking under your feet.

So yeah, way cold.

Way achy.

The outermost half of my foot and my
hands is still very numb.

If you're wet, and it's this cold, you
can die within hours. You can be in some

serious trouble.

No matter how many years you've been a
bushman or a woodsman or whatever, if

you get complacent, it can kill you.

I'm back in the bed covered up, bundled
up, and put everything I had on, and I'm

grateful for every blade of grass that
went into building this little mattress

because it's insulating me now.

You want to be up off the ground when it
gets this cold.

This is the wise thing to do. Stay
inside and keep your body as warm as you

can on a day like today.

This is the view inside my little cave
here. That's my wood supply that I have

laid in.

And I was just noticing that I didn't
hear a drip anymore.

And the reason is, is the drip has
frozen.

I have icicles in my bedroom.

The next time you think it's cold in
your bedroom, look for icicles.

I'm just waking up, and oh my gosh, is
it cold.

It's freezing, and my bag is covered in
dew, and it was just cold last night.

I got to get this here done today.

It's all about the yurt.

Having a fire in a structure is always a
hazard.

So how I'm going to counteract my
structure from going up in flames, since

it's made of canvas, I'm going to create
a small half-moon structure out of

pounded-in logs and then line that
half-moon structure with rocks, things

that don't burn. And it also will retain
heat and also will reflect the heat

towards me.

I love a yurt. For me, it's about
getting a warm,

place set up so that I can get as dry as
possible at the end of the day and I can

be warm and cook my food and have the
rain off me. That's huge. That's

paramount. That's number one.

I love having walls around me. It makes
me feel pretty safe. When I smell a bear

or hear some animals poking around, I
know I've got a few minutes to grab my

deterrent or whatever I've got.

to scare him away.

I'm going to cut a hole in the top.
That's where the smoke goes out. So that

makes everything look good.

Otherwise, it's bad news.

This ain't easy, this whole making
decisions and trying to figure out

everything as you go.

I'm bound to make mistakes, and I've
probably got a few more in store.

Today, I'm going to be a little bit more
easy on myself.

Well, I think I've just created the
world's largest smokehouse.

I gotta

tell

you, my fingers and toes are numb.

I dry my socks, and then I dry my feet,
and then I put my socks back on my feet

and dry the socks some more.

You've got to take care of your feet.

I wish my camp was on the other side.

Because right now the sun could be
hitting my camp right now.

Instead of my fingers going numb right
now, because I'm in a cold, dark shade,

they'd be getting warmer and warmer.

It's only going to get colder.

Winter is definitely here.

I didn't expect it to come this soon,
but it's here and it's here for good.

My biggest concern at this point is the
onset of hypothermia. If that

temperature drops just a little bit
more, I mean, that could end this whole

thing.

left out here.

You can see I can't even bend them.

They're frozen solid.

It is definitely cold out here.

It's epically cold tonight.

Man, my hands are like ice.

It's like bone dead cold.

It's silent.

Everything that's alive is just like
hunkered down and just trying to like

get through the night right now.

It's crazy cold tonight.

My hands are numb. It's very cold.
Wintertime is here.

This is the first time that I'm actually
worried. If I get hypothermic tonight,

I'll be forced to quit this thing. This
is rough.

This is as tough as it gets.

It's so cold.

It is frigid.

It's the coldest it's been.

It's been snowing. There's snow flurries
out here.

So down we go to the trusty shoreline to
see what can be seen and consume

whatever we may find there that is
palatable.

My hands are numb.

Not numb, not feeling numb. Numb as in
painful.

But I go by the time of the tide, not
when I feel like eating.

Beauty. Yeah, that's nice, huh?

Look at that. This has scales instead of
skin, though, so I'm going to have to

dress it out a little differently.

So, yeah, I scraped the scales off.

Look at that beautiful pink meat. That
is going to be some new kind of

delicious right there. Look at that.

That's food.

So I'm going to wash that off and into
the pot he goes.

Not only did I find a fish, but I found
a duck.

This is really a blessing for me today
because I'm going to get some nutrients

off of old Daffy here and see what meat
I can get from him and throw him next to

the fish.

In to the pot he goes.

Clouds are moving in again. I'm always
fighting against something dark or

weather or tide times.

If there's something challenging about
this place, it's definitely the weather.

After a while, it just does kind of
grate on your nerves.

Every time you get ready to do
something, boom, the deluge strikes.

I got to keep going, so I'm going to
eat.

I was not aware of a full-on blizzard.

I got snow packing up on the lens of the
camera.

Just had to get a shot of my meal. I
worked so hard to get it cleaned and

prepared.

All right.

Just cleaned up.

The fish and the duck.

Look at that. Is that not a thing of
beauty?

Kings eat no better than I.

I put a little sea lettuce in there for
something green, and I'm going to put a

lid on and cook it low and slow.
Basically, I'm just going to steam all

that in with the flavors of the duck and
the flavors of the fish.

Shake hands and love one another.

So all that's going to happen today is
cook a meal and lay in.

My mind's just racing, thinking about my
lack of calories.

It's kind of like a downward spiral
right now. If I'm not careful,

eventually I'm going to crash.

I lost my net.

It's gone.

I need to figure out how to get more
food and to figure out how to fish every

day. So I need to set up a system to do
that easily.

I want to set up some trout lines.

This place.

It's literally transformed at low tide.

See that grass line way up near the
trees?

That's where high tide goes.

It goes just shy of the trees. This is
all usually underwater.

It's incredible.

You know, my overarching plan was to
figure out how to have automatic food by

setting up trot lines, by setting up
nets, whatever I got to do, traps.

But to get food coming in at a
consistent basis is just really tough.

Making some bait.

Look at that one.

It's going to bait a hook really nice.

By having my bait station right here
next to my trot line, it's going to

create a bunch of scent that's going to
attract.

Fish to this area.

They're going to find my hooks with the
bait hanging in front of their faces.

So hopefully they'll say, oh, that's
what I smell. Perfect.

And I got them.

So there's my first trout line up.

I've got four hooks baited.

All ready to go.

Once high tide comes in.

It's going to dip them all into the
water. One of them is already touching

the water.

That should be good to go.

Calories are running short.

It's intense out there today.

Like, it's blowing pretty hard. I don't
know if you can see how gray it is, how

nasty it is out.

What I'm concerned about is the fact
that my traps, they're way out there,

and I hope they're not getting beat up.
If they are, I'd lose a big source of

food for myself.

There's one floating about 100 yards
from where I put it. I got to see them

before they walk off the sea.

That guy's pissed in my line.

He's ridiculous.

He's a jerk.

He's eating my piss.

I'm going to go right now.

I get out there and hide up in my line.
There was a bird fishing.

That guy's fishing my line.

He's eating my fish.

I'm going to go right now.

I don't even know what it is, but he's a
fisher. That's the thing. He's got a

feet that pairs.

He was wrapped up in my net real good.

He's probably not tasted.

He's a meat eater.

And he's got a belly full of my fish.

You look green.

If you've ever had to not eat, if you've
been without food, it's just such an

awful feeling.

So I'm so grateful for any food that I
bring in. It really is truly a gift. I

feel like I'm living paycheck to
paycheck, except paycheck is food to

food. And so when you get food, it's
this near spiritual experience of just

deep gratitude, especially because I'm
eating meat.

It ate my lung, so now it's mine.

I've been a vegetarian for almost three
years. It wasn't that I had this big

falling out with animals. I just decided
to try it, and my digestion felt

incredibly stronger.

I didn't feel sluggish.

Meat is just, it's a heartier substance.

Sticks with you longer, but...

There is a difference to a point. You
know, you're taking something's life.

It doesn't weird me out. I grew up
eating animals. Like, you know, bigger

things eat littler things and so on and
so forth.

But, you know, it's still like a more
powerful experience.

I tell you what, you appreciate food to
such a higher level out here.

I mean, really, when you get something,
it's like Christmas.

And when you eat it, it's like so
special.

So special.

Nobody taught me really how to burn
food.

I had to teach myself to do that.

I'm sure I'm losing weight out here.

But having food.

on my so-called plate, has been such a
blessing.

So grateful for it.

Here we go.

There's nothing wrong with that.

That's good.

It tastes kind of like fish.

Breadfish goes with it.

Wow.

Oh, it turned into kind of a bum day at
first. It turned into a better day.

I've never seen a vegetarian eat meat
like this.

So not a good day. And to the day
emotionally.

I don't know. Something just hit me.

Just like a pile of bricks.

Just started losing it.

It's like right now.

I would just give so much just to see.

Just to see my wife and talk to her.

I've been out here for so long and I'm
so sick of it.

Sick of everything.

Everything about this place is gone.

For the first, whatever, few weeks, I
was happy seeing these beautiful

views and just soaking in this place.

It was new to me and it was exciting and
everything like that.

But after you've been in one spot for
so, so long, it's

terrible. It's like the worst, worst
thing on the planet.

I'm so just done with it all.

I'm ready to leave.

I'm ready to go home. But I just want to
keep pushing and pushing and pushing.

But after a while...

Just not being able to contact your
family or not being able to contact your

wife is just so difficult.

It just reminds me, you know, how much I
love her and how much I love all these

people in my life.

And when I get home, I'm just not going
to take it for granted at all.

And it's raining again.

To make things a little happier, it did
start raining here.

I just want to... At this point, I just
want to go home.

I want nothing more to do with this
place.

Living in the woods is not the hard part
of this thing.

It's the fact that you're away from the
people you love.

That's the hard part.

So sick of this place.

Sick. Sick of it. Sick of it.

So sick of it.

Good night.

Heading out to go check my trot line.

Another frosty day in the northwest.

Looks like the tide is in right now.

My stuff might still be underwater.

And as you can see, straight out there
is my trot line.

The difference between high tide and low
tide here is astronomical.

During low tide, that's dirt for like a
quarter mile or something.

I'm just going to wait to see if the
tide is coming or going.

It's hard to figure out if it tides.

If it's coming in, I mean, I'm not going
to walk in that water. The water will be

over my boots.

With freezing temperatures right now,
the last thing I want to do is get wet.

I haven't gotten a lot done in the last
couple of days.

I'm trying to conserve calories.

I'm trying to stay positive.

But I'm not getting it done.

I think maybe if I imagine I'm trying to
provide for my family, maybe I can

provide better for myself.

Because I know if they were out here
with me, I would be a different person.

This is it.

Wow. A bunch of pictures with us, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Oh, dancing in the puddles?

Yeah.

Oh, look how young you are here, my
little pumpkin.

But now I'm much more bigger.

Yeah.

If they were out here with me, I'd be
like, I'd be a maniac.

And I would be a game-getting machine.

Like right now, what I'm getting isn't
good enough for my daughter and my wife.

Like I want the best for them.

It's just interesting.

What you're willing to do for yourself
is different than what you're willing to

do for your loved ones.

Man, this place really felt like a land
of abundant resources a couple weeks

ago.

Salmon and all these geese around and
everything else.

It doesn't feel that way anymore.

I just hate that the tide is messing me
up.

What else am I going to do?

I don't know.

I need to be careful what I do because I
can't do too much more before I run out

of calories.

I need to figure out how to get more
food.

This is just a very hard time to live.

The weather broke a little bit. I
haven't filmed much because there's just

not much happening.

It's just the same old thing.

I'm just kind of in a rut now. It just
kind of goes day to day, you know.

Just regular old routine.

At this point for me, you know,
psychology is definitely there.

The mental aspects of it. I mean, I've
done this. I know I can do it.

Not just survive, but thrive here. So
it's like what's left to prove, you

know.

Kind of, I don't know. And then you get
to thinking, you know, just little

stuff. I'd rather be home reading a book
to my kids right now.

My daughter, Joanna, the oldest, she
kind of understood what was going on.

And she asked me, she said, do you have
to do this?

And I didn't really know how to answer
that.

I mean, in a way, yeah, I did have to do
it, but not in a way that I could convey

to her.

But when she asked me that, do you have
to leave? I thought, well, no, I don't

have to, but I really, really want to,
you know.

It's home a lot.

But I don't know.

One day at a time.

out here for over a month now.

You know, I feel pretty good about being
out here.

And having a shelter is so crucial to,
like, enjoying this experience.

It just feels safer.

But really, the shelter's not about
that. It's just about the ice that

settles on the ground at night.

It's about having a place to organize
your things, having a constant.

So the yurt has proved to be really
worth its time.

I'm going to start looking at making it
a bit more efficient.

In my yurt, I have an open ceiling in
the very center where smoke comes out.

I need to build some sort of umbrella on
a stick so when it gets rainy, the smoke

can still go out, but the umbrella
covers it and allows for rain

protection.

And I also want to get a crab pot in the
water.

And what else do I want to do? Oh, yeah,
I'm working on a stringed instrument.

When I get started on these projects,
I'll take the time to stop.

I just want to show it to you. I just
peeled off all the bark.

It's going to be kind of like a lute or
guitar.

See how that's relatively flat?

With the beat of Faith Brothers playing.

Starting to gouge out the acoustic

area, so the hollow area that makes an
echo sound, which is right here.

So what I'm carving right now is the
bridge, and this transfers the sound

down to the sound box.

So now I'm carving the little pegs that
will go in these holes up here and

tighten up my cord.

So I'm taking a moment to burn out the
sound box a little bit more.

Check it out.

I put on my first string.

It doesn't have the face on it yet, but
check it out.

I just got the face put on.

In the next week, I'm going to start
looking at making a sauna.

Before I left, my mom said, Lucas,
please don't go crazy.

And I said, Mom, that already happened
long ago. And she left.

This is my two-note song.

This is my Kuno song.

Cheery and happy and fun.

This is my Kuno song.

Been in the woods too long.

This is my tuna song.

Been in the woods too, been in the woods
too, been in the woods too long.

Could use an apple pie. I could use a
pumpkin pie.

Instead I eat seabird.

Instead I eat up clams.

Eat weed, doodah.

I never want...

Cause I don't got no soap and I don't
got nothing.

I wish I had a drink.

I'd pour myself a drink.

I haven't filmed anything for a few days
because life has just been that

bad here.

When you think for as long as I have out
here in the woods alone, it changes you.

I've not eaten the past couple of days.
I feel like I'm starving.

Damn it, I wish I was stronger. I just
don't know if I got it in.

I'm definitely losing it. Not good
mentally.

I am not good in the head right now.