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1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:04,956
- Hi.
Hello.
2
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:07,125
I'm Blake Chesterfield
Henderson,
3
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,374
and this is
my Thanksgiving video.
4
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,594
Holidays are always
a little tough for me.
5
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:16,715
Like many children in America,
I'm from a broken home.
6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,388
But I think
this Turkey Day's
7
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:23,059
gonna be a little different
because...
8
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,227
[reggae dance music]
9
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,102
Oh, yeah!
10
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:29,899
I'm going to Hedonism II,
y'all, yep!
11
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,817
Jamaica's
premiere sex resort.
12
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:34,407
Four days, three nights.
13
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,401
And we are just gonna...
14
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,073
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh!
15
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,571
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
16
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,618
Tag 'em and bag 'em!
Ha-ha-ha!
17
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,616
I'm so excited.
18
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,914
And I'm going with
my real family, Adam and Ders.
19
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,002
We're gonna have a blast.
20
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,792
There's beaches.
There's babes.
21
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:49,960
And there is also...
22
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,505
♪ Buh, buh-buh, buh ♪
23
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:55,970
A little restaurant
called Pastafari.
24
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,090
Italian food
with a Jamaican fusion.
25
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,387
Jah, please.
Ha-ha-ha!
26
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:01,760
Hey, let's go check
on the guys.
27
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,057
I'm so excited!
28
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:05,270
Oh!
There he is.
29
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,891
Anders, say "what's up"
to the camera.
30
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,517
- Uh, Ders?
Who's Ders?
31
00:01:09,653 --> 00:01:10,985
My name's Buddy Ferrera.
32
00:01:11,113 --> 00:01:13,651
- Whoa, you decided to shave
the playoff beard off.
33
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,023
- Well, here's the deal.
34
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:17,070
You see, Anders Holmvik,
he can't go to Hedonism II.
35
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,364
You know, he's gonna run
for city councilman someday.
36
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,955
But Buddy Ferrera,
well, he's a goatee-sportin',
37
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,790
♪ Good-time havin'
freaky cat ♪
38
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,784
Ahh.
[laughing]
39
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,287
- Oh, hey, what's up, Adam?
40
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,289
You are lookin'
straight jacked, dude.
41
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,506
- Dang, homey!
- Nice!
42
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:33,875
- I can't go to Hedonism.
43
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:35,468
I'm not gonna have a good time.
I won't get laid.
44
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:36,507
- Why?
- Why is that?
45
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:39,597
- Because my dick fell off!
46
00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,217
[all laughing]
47
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:45,807
Oh! Just kidding.
I tucked it back.
48
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,602
It actually hurts a lot.
My dick's back here, though.
49
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:52,648
[hip-hop music]
50
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,111
- ♪ I'm fresh ♪
51
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,275
♪♪
52
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,194
- ♪ You gotta, you gotta,
you gotta ♪
53
00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,033
- ♪ You gotta be fresh ♪
54
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,330
- Hey, you guys are
packin' sunscreen, right?
55
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:09,828
Remember, this is their summer.
56
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:10,919
- No way, dude.
57
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,165
I'm trying to get
Beyoncé dark!
58
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,212
- Sun is straight danger!
59
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,461
- Don't worry, dude.
I got the self-tanner.
60
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,713
It's good too.
Linda Hogan endorses it.
61
00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,840
- Hey, has anybody
seen my Tevas?
62
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,841
I really need my Tevas.
63
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,843
- Hey, fellas,
please remember.
64
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,095
I got us dinner reservations.
65
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,392
Thanksgiving dinner
at Pastafari,
66
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,356
so pack a fancy outfit.
67
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,442
I've got a blazer,
no shirt.
68
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:34,526
That's what I'm thinking.
69
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,191
But, Ders, you're kinda GQ.
70
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,282
Should the tie
match my nipples?
71
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,320
- Ha ha!
72
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,193
Guys, I found my Tevas.
73
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,786
- Just so you know,
I'm really excited
74
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,371
to end my 11-month dry spell,
75
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,741
but we're definitely going to be
seeing each other
76
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,037
butt naked humping stuff.
77
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,376
I just hope
we're ready for that.
78
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,995
- Oh, yeah.
Buddy's a go.
79
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,871
- Blakester is ready
to get his knob gobbled.
80
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,418
- All right!
81
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,588
Let's get weird!
Let's get weird!
82
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,712
- Okay, everyone has
their plane ticket, right?
83
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,180
- Yeah, I thought we were
chanting, "Let's get weird."
84
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:04,890
- Good to go!
85
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:05,929
- Okay, bathing suits?
86
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,097
- Check!
87
00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:09,221
- I will not be wearing
a bathing suit.
88
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,722
So, no.
89
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,018
- And, uh, passports.
90
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,483
- Oh, yeah!
91
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:15,852
- Huh?
92
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:18,855
- I printed out the forms.
I even filled them out for you.
93
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,653
All you had to do
was sign it and mail it.
94
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,367
You want to tell me
what the hell happened?
95
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,111
- You want to know
what happened, Ders?
96
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,990
I forgot all
of that stuff, Ders!
97
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,286
- Great.
98
00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,410
And I thought that Jamaica
was part of the U.S.
99
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,956
I didn't think
I needed a passport!
100
00:03:33,088 --> 00:03:35,922
- That's the Bahamas,
you buffoon.
101
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,085
- Otay, now I know.
102
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,083
- You're gonna need
a passport, okay?
103
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,085
We're not gonna go.
Just the two of us?
104
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,258
- Yeah, two guys
going to Hedonism?
105
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,803
This is not the kind of weird
I'm talking about, okay?
106
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:50,554
I'm going for a very, very
specific type of weird here.
107
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:51,600
- [sighs heavily]
108
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,098
- Niche weird!
109
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,441
Plus, you're the only one that
knows how to speak Jamaican.
110
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,936
- Guys, our flight leaves
in six hours.
111
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,609
There's no way we can get
a passport by then.
112
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,074
- We can't,
but I know one man-
113
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,909
one life wizard-
who can.
114
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,118
Man.
115
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,454
[car door slams]
116
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,118
- Hey, what's up, brah-gers?
- What's up?
117
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,788
- Ooh, what are you doin'
to the rape van, bud?
118
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:13,784
- Oh, check it out.
119
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,411
When they throw
the grapes out, right?
120
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,960
I grab 'em, throw 'em
in these crates,
121
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,377
take 'em to
the farmers' market,
122
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:20,420
and resell 'em, huh?
123
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,839
So I got me
a grape van now.
124
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,178
- Yeah, that makes
a lot of sense.
125
00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:25,638
- So they're-they're
not organic.
126
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:26,756
- No, I wrote that.
127
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,303
- Genius move.
- Yeah.
128
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,516
- I'm just glad to see
you're not
129
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:30,976
a drug dealer anymore,
to be honest.
130
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,845
- Well, when you really
think about it, Anders,
131
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,815
are we not all drug dealers...
brah?
132
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,149
- No.
- Yeah, wow.
133
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,644
- Just so we're clear,
I do still deal drugs.
134
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,146
- Oh. Thank God.
- Whew!
135
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,522
- Whoo!
- Best in the business.
136
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,818
- You know,
I'd love to chitchat,
137
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,612
but we've got six hours
to get to Hedonism II.
138
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,031
And I don't have a passport,
so I need your help, bud.
139
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,780
- Oh, I'm sorry, but I've been
out of the passport game
140
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,282
since college.
141
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:54,625
- Uh, red flag.
You didn't go to college.
142
00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:57,336
- Well, I parked my van
outside of a college
143
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,830
for three and a half semesters.
144
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,332
- Okay, no, but you have to have
some, like, scumbag friends
145
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,584
who can hook me up.
146
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,836
Come on, I am desperate
housedude at this moment, dude.
147
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:07,679
- Ah...Dale and Betsy.
148
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,175
Yeah, they make fake I.D.s.
149
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,926
They could totally make you
a fake passport.
150
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:14,179
They made me a birth certificate
when I lost mine.
151
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,646
- Perfect! Nice!
- I'm sorry.
152
00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,561
Hold the phone!
Fake passports?
153
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:18,978
We never talked about this.
154
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,442
- Okay, I'll get you guys
the address.
155
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:21,686
- Hey, I'm going on this trip.
156
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,154
I'm going to Pastafari,
157
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,819
and I will try
the Jamaican jerk lasagna.
158
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,238
- Fake passports
equals felony, okay?
159
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,827
If you guys want to get
involved in this,
160
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:31,696
you're gonna have to sign
some sort of affidavit
161
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,198
saying I had nothing
to do with it.
162
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,120
- Yeah. I don't know what
an affidavit is, though,
163
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,163
so how can I sign that?
164
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,205
Is that like a fruit?
165
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,750
- It's basically, like,
what lawyers use
166
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,213
when they need to win a case...
167
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,377
to make a bill a law.
168
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:44,091
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah.
169
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,131
- Yep, that makes sense.
Law and Order: SVU.
170
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:48,129
- Yeah, we'll sign it.
- Okay, so check it out.
171
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:49,381
Here, I drew you
a little map.
172
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,303
Just go ahead and follow
that line that I drew,
173
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,345
and you'll be good.
174
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,388
- He drew us a map.
175
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,431
- Oh, that's so clutch.
176
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,770
That's so clutch.
- What a guy.
177
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,809
- Hey, do you guys want
some grapes for your journey?
178
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,852
- No, we're good.
179
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:00,065
- Not really, dude.
180
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,901
- Wow, this is great.
Thank you so much, Karl.
181
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,065
- Yeah, no problem.
182
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,654
- Oh, wait, hold-
Karl, is there, like,
183
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,273
a password we need
or anything?
184
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,525
- There's not a password.
185
00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:10,401
- Drug dealers have those.
- Hey-yo, maggots!
186
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,948
- There's a password.
- Yep.
187
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,287
There ya go.
- Okay, cool.
188
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,951
- Hey-yo, maggots.
189
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:18,326
I cannot wait to meet
these class acts.
190
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,918
[knocking on door]
191
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,249
- Can I help you?
192
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,716
- Hey-yo, maggots!
193
00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,554
- What?
- Hey-yo!
194
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,264
Maggots!
195
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,008
- Excuse me?
I-
196
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,555
- Uh, I'm sorry
on our behalf.
197
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,474
Guys, wrong house,
I'm telling you.
198
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:38,767
- No, no, no, no.
199
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,435
We're-we're here
for the...passports.
200
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,105
We're friends with...Karl.
201
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,101
- Oh!
202
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,944
Oh, Karl!
203
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:47,938
Oh, yes, of course.
Come on in!
204
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,861
What was that
about the maggots?
205
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,109
- You tell us.
206
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,076
- In you go.
- Cool.
207
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,115
- Sorry.
208
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,910
- Uh, just to clear things up,
209
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,624
you know Karl Hevacheck?
210
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:02,166
Uh, the guy who doesn't wear
underwear and has a dirt beard?
211
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,129
- Yeah.
Karl and I go way back.
212
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,670
He used to play keyboards
at my church.
213
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,292
- Okay, you're blowing my mind,
214
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,717
'cause he's Karl,
and you have impeccable taste.
215
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,089
- Thank you.
- This is very nice.
216
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,886
Restoration Hardware?
- Oh, you know what?
217
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,351
Believe it or not,
it's actually Pier 1.
218
00:07:17,479 --> 00:07:18,560
- Get out!
219
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:19,974
- I know.
- That's Pier 1.
220
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,563
- I don't know
what that means.
221
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,853
- Can I get you boys anything?
Some water or milk?
222
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,772
- Uh, a low-carb Red Bull?
223
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:27,440
- Oh...
- Tired right now!
224
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,609
Or some Shark Bites
or Gushers?
225
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,152
- We don't have
any sugar in this house.
226
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,149
- I think we're okay.
227
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,617
Blake, if you would
just get to it?
228
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,031
- I actually
need a passport,
229
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,702
and I heard that you and Dale
are the people to talk to.
230
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,415
- Dale is my ex.
231
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:42,830
And we don't use that name
in this house.
232
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,750
- Is this something
that was recent?
233
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,043
- Anyhoo, if you could
just get me your picture...
234
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,044
- Yeah, absolutely.
235
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,421
Here it is, right here.
236
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,592
That's me
with the long hair.
237
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,340
- Oh, how cute.
238
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,843
Well, I can have that passport
ready in a few days.
239
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,186
- No.
No, no, no, no, no.
240
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,350
We need that, like, now,
if you could.
241
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,189
- Yeah, our flight is in,
like, five hours.
242
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,730
- Oh, then I can't
help you, then.
243
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,022
- Ma'am, please!
244
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,861
Can't you please just do it
right now?
245
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,526
Please!
I'll be your best friend.
246
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:12,899
- Guys,
tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
247
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,195
I have to go
to the grocery store.
248
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,114
I have to pick up my son
from wrestling practice.
249
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,408
- I'm great at picking up sons!
That's my-that's my forte.
250
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:19,747
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You stay home.
251
00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:20,864
We'll be like
your little butlers.
252
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,037
It'll be great.
253
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,830
You could probably
finish it in time, right?
254
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,703
- Well, I mean, in theory,
of course I could.
255
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,000
- We can be
your grocery genies!
256
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,418
Yeah, make a wish, poof!
It arrives.
257
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:29,711
- No, no, no.
258
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,459
- Hang on, hang on.
Let me show you something.
259
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,550
This is my driver's license.
260
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,886
Clean record, okay?
261
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,880
I got insurance,
AAA card, member since 2007.
262
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,348
- So responsible,
very responsible.
263
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:38,591
- Thank you.
264
00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,138
- You have the hardest job
in the world.
265
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,135
You're a single mother.
266
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,307
I was raised by a single mother
267
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,476
and also Stone Cold Steve Austin
via TV.
268
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,224
- And we'll pay
for your groceries, Bets.
269
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,022
I'm talkin' Whole Foods,
the good stuff.
270
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:50,019
Know what I mean?
271
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:53,694
Help us help you
help yourself
272
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,738
while also helping us.
273
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,578
- [sighs] Oh, God.
Let me get the list.
274
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:00,571
- Yes!
275
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,948
- Hey-yo, maggots!
276
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,164
[laughing]
277
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,535
[hip-hop music]
278
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,424
[hip-hop music]
279
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,416
[school bell rings]
280
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,168
- Buddy, drop it, all right?
281
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,591
Let's just get this guy
and get him home.
282
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,385
- Just saying if Betsy's
gonna make stuffing,
283
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:20,553
she's gonna wish she had
Craisins, and I'm dropping it.
284
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:21,550
- Wait, there he is.
285
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:22,551
Damien!
286
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:23,848
- Yeah?
287
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,096
- Hey, pal, we're the, uh,
288
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,188
guys who are gonna
take you home, so come on.
289
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:29,730
- Yeah, my mom texted me,
but I'm not going.
290
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:32,023
- What?
We got snacks, dude.
291
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,613
They were out of Gushers,
but I got some licorice.
292
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,607
[high, squeaky voice]
Come on! Come on!
293
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:38,780
Come on!
Go get it, little guy!
294
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,448
- In the car.
- I don't get that.
295
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,787
That worked on me as a kid.
296
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,451
- That is weird, huh?
- That's a good trick.
297
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,165
- Guys, let me have a shot.
Hey, Damien...
298
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,034
Get in that car right now!
299
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,786
- Hey, calm your old ass down.
300
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:49,958
Tell my mom I'll be home later.
301
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,297
Maybe.
302
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,631
- Later maybe-
- Ders, Ders!
303
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,591
Hey, little dude,
you need to show
304
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,756
your elder dudes
a bit of respect, okay?
305
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,130
Now come with us 'cause your
mom's making us fake passports.
306
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,598
- Get the fuck away from me,
you long-haired jizz expert!
307
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,309
- Okay, no one talks
to my long-haired jizz expert
308
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,302
like that, okay?
309
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,303
You're comin' with me!
310
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,475
Ow! Ow! Ow!
311
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:09,018
- Yeah, twist your arm
right now.
312
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,311
- Ow! Ow!
313
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,309
- You're comin' with me!
314
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,310
[all arguing]
315
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,187
- You're very strong!
316
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,814
- No! No!
- Solid core!
317
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,316
- Help!
318
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:21,159
Help! Help!
Stranger danger!
319
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:22,403
Stranger danger!
- Go!
320
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:25,498
- Rape!
Rape!
321
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:29,209
- All right,
and a Thanksgiving update.
322
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,875
We got a little derailed,
but we're back on track.
323
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:32,871
Picked up a real nice lad.
324
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,498
- I'm gonna-
- Aaah!
325
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,715
- Damien!
- Help!
326
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,335
- No horseplay back there!
Not in my 'Vo!
327
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,881
- Keep your hands off
my best friend!
328
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,549
I'm sorry, Ders.
- What?
329
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,298
- 'Cause he's my best friend,
and you're-
330
00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,220
Oh, hey, not cool!
331
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,684
Whoa!
Not cool!
332
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,519
[screaming]
- What are you-
333
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,606
Whoa! Whoa!
334
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,598
- Keep your hands off of me!
335
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,726
- Guys, no, no, no.
Look!
336
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:54,852
- Fuck!
- That is our car.
337
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,354
Fuck!
- Shit!
338
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,277
Fuck!
Shit!
339
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,399
Fuck!
Fuck!
340
00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,571
- What are we gonna do?
341
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:02,864
- Hide the car!
- What?
342
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,612
- Hide the car!
- That doesn't make any sense!
343
00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,783
You can't hide the car!
344
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,247
- You can hide the car!
- You can't!
345
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,617
- Or...can we?
346
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,709
Come on, dudes, we got to cover
this whole thing.
347
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,295
- Tagging's fun!
348
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,459
- Hey, it's hot out here.
349
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:16,207
Does anybody want
any grapes or anything?
350
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:20,052
- Hey, buddy, you gonna help us
over here or what?
351
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,796
- Help?
I can't even watch!
352
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,388
- God, you know what?
353
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,303
I can't believe
Dale and Bets split up.
354
00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,552
Man, that really
chaps my hide.
355
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,145
- Karl, who cares
about Dale and Betsy, okay?
356
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:32,310
You're raping
my Volvo right now.
357
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,149
- Whoa, Ders, grow up, dude.
358
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,018
- Blake, aren't you
supposed to be in the car
359
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,611
watching this kiddo?
360
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:38,695
- No.
Don't worry about it.
361
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:39,734
He's locked in there.
362
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:40,947
- What do you mean
he's locked?
363
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,236
You can't lock
somebody in a car.
364
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:43,904
- Uh, I don't know
if you know this,
365
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,448
but there's things called
child locks.
366
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:46,741
- Ka-doy.
367
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,660
- Yeah, but those are for,
like, little children.
368
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,123
He's not-he could just
reach around
369
00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,833
and then, like, hit the switch
and unlock-
370
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:52,826
- Later, jack-offs!
371
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:53,873
- Oh.
- Wait!
372
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:55,416
- He just did
what I was saying!
373
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,460
He just did what I was saying!
374
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,834
- I'm not runnin'.
No way, no how, man.
375
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,586
[hard rock music]
376
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:06,807
♪♪
377
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,177
- Hold-hold on!
- My car!
378
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,269
- Hey! Stop!
379
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,514
That kid, he's my ticket
to Hedonism!
380
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,267
[Jamaican accent]
Ya bumbaclot idiot!
381
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,019
- Someone call for a taxi?
382
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,772
'Cause it's yellow,
most of the parts.
383
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,695
- We did a good job painting.
384
00:12:23,826 --> 00:12:25,442
- How much time
till our flight leaves?
385
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:26,694
- Four hours.
386
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:28,695
We gotta get this kid now,
like, right now,
387
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:30,288
or we're not
gonna be able to check bags.
388
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,782
- He's too fast.
He's too strong, man.
389
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,456
- Well, he's got
that high-school body.
390
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,953
He's a young go-hard.
391
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,796
- Unbelievable body.
I used to have that body.
392
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,131
- We all had that body, man!
393
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,216
That's a high-school body, man!
We all had the body!
394
00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:42,585
- God, I used to look good
in jeans.
395
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,463
- I had a six-pack
in grammar school.
396
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:46,463
It was ridiculous.
397
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,465
- Dudes!
Dudes, dudes, dudes, dudes!
398
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,058
He just got off the bus.
- Damien!
399
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,643
You get back in this car
right now!
400
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,807
You are going home, mister!
401
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,726
- There he goes,
right into that porn theater.
402
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,189
- Go, go, go,
just pull up right there.
403
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,933
- Eskimo Sluts.
404
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,153
- Wait up.
405
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,241
- All right, here we go.
406
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:10,283
- Hey, fellas,
it's, uh, five bucks.
407
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,572
- All right.
408
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,497
- So you guys are, uh,
first-timers, huh?
409
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,493
- Yeah.
410
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,667
- Ter...rific.
411
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:24,260
Welcome to the Inland Empire's
oldest operating...
412
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,423
erotic theater.
413
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,673
Now, since these doors
were opened in 1963,
414
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,470
we've had but one motto.
415
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,342
- Okay, I'm sorry,
could we just get the tickets
416
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,344
and go into the show, please?
417
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,096
- We've had but one motto.
418
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,895
Be courteous, have fun,
419
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,359
and come again...
420
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:43,194
and again and again and-
421
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,530
[chortling]
422
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,114
I think it's funny.
Here ya go.
423
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,734
You're gonna really enjoy this.
It's called Endless Hummer.
424
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,031
- Thanks.
425
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,950
- And I think the previews
are just about ending.
426
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:54,368
- Hey, dudes.
427
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,832
Let's be respectful.
428
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,371
Liberry voices.
429
00:13:57,503 --> 00:14:00,621
- [inhales deeply]
I can already smell the weird.
430
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:01,793
[hip-hop music]
431
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,586
- ♪ Fresh, fresh, fresh,
fresh, fresh ♪
432
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,055
- Well, whose board
am I gonna ride first?
433
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,425
- Well, that all depends also.
434
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:16,850
- You know, like I said,
we do everything together.
435
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,517
- Dude, buddy,
you made the big screen.
436
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:20,015
That looks...just like you.
437
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:23,895
- Whoa, you do.
You look just like him.
438
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,066
- I don't look like that guy.
439
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,109
- It's like your twin.
440
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,481
- Yeah, you look
exactly like that guy.
441
00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:29,950
- Damien.
- Damien.
442
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,569
- Damien?
443
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,569
- Shh.
444
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,570
- Sorry.
445
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,663
- Our bad.
446
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:37,784
- I can't see anything.
447
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,376
[woman moaning in movie]
448
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:40,369
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
449
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,461
- Hey, why don't I use
450
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,421
the night vision
on my little camera?
451
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,505
- Nice.
- Go, go, go, go.
452
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:45,590
- Scope it out.
453
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,254
- Yeah, Blair Witch this bitch.
454
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,344
- I can't believe
it wasn't real.
455
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,213
- Oh...
- What the-
456
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:53,432
- Come on, buddy.
- Ugh.
457
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,425
- Come on.
- Ugh, come on, guys.
458
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,802
- What are they doing?
459
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:57,803
- Oh, jeez.
- Oh!
460
00:14:57,939 --> 00:14:58,929
- Oh.
- Good God!
461
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,772
- No, no, no, no, no.
Turn it off.
462
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:01,856
Turn it off-
- Don't-
463
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,270
- Turn it off!
- Who is it?
464
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,939
- [hisses]
- Oh, God, let's just go!
465
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,357
- I dropped my keys.
- Sorry, sorry.
466
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,354
Sorry about this, whoa.
467
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,606
Hey, your dick's in your hand.
468
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,073
- We're just looking
for a little boy.
469
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,737
- You guys seen a kid?
He's about this tall.
470
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:13,110
- Your dick is in your hand,
dude!
471
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,829
- Ooh!
472
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:18,324
- Hey.
473
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,291
Full house tonight, huh?
474
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,287
- Oh, my God.
475
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,504
Okay, so this is not good.
476
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,464
That was gross!
I can't look at skin.
477
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,799
I can't look at mouths anymore.
478
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,213
- I kept hearing-
[smacking lips]
479
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,802
- Stop it!
Don't do that!
480
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:31,886
- I messed everything up.
481
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,006
You guys should just
go without me.
482
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,974
Tell Pastafari
I said I'm hungry.
483
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,092
And if you remember,
484
00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,140
bring me home some
Jamaican jerk lasagna.
485
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,262
- No.
- No, no.
486
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:41,809
I'm not gonna bring you
anything, dude.
487
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,648
'Cause I'm not gonna go
anywhere without you!
488
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,813
Besides the fact that this
is gonna take our friendship
489
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,734
to the next level
as sexual conquistadors-
490
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:50,947
recently I learned that word-
491
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,987
it's Thanksgiving, right?
492
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,451
You know what I mean?
493
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:56,366
And this little Indian
isn't going to go anywhere
494
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,580
without his Pilgrims,
and you guys are the Pilgrims.
495
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,665
And the more I think about it,
we should act out, like,
496
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,830
a Pocahontas situation
with some leathery Hedo babes.
497
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,169
Like, that'd be awesome, right?
498
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,754
Am I rambling a little bit?
I'm excited.
499
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,965
- No, no, you're not rambling.
We're all on the same page.
500
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,833
Pocahontas sounds great, but...
- Thank you.
501
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:13,133
- I don't know, man.
It just doesn't seem right.
502
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,129
I say we call it.
503
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,176
- Yeah.
504
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,391
- We did spend
$400 nonrefundable.
505
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:19,225
- Okay, so we definitely
have to go on this trip!
506
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:20,685
We just gotta find that kid!
507
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,769
- Yes.
508
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,015
- Well, maybe if we-
- Hey, guys.
509
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,732
Thing's not gonna
suck itself.
510
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,647
- Oh!
511
00:16:27,778 --> 00:16:28,643
Holy meat rod!
512
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,190
That is a real bat.
513
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,359
Real meat stick.
514
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,029
- Hey, Gerald!
Is that you?
515
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,901
- Hey, Dan,
the man with the mouth.
516
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,903
I can't give
this thing away today.
517
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:39,200
- Hey, do you know
where Jimmy is?
518
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,197
Is he around?
- Oh, I wish.
519
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,449
No.
Andy's good, though.
520
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:42,950
- What, Andy the golf pro?
521
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:44,041
- No, black Andy, that guy.
522
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,377
- Oh, sweet chocolate.
523
00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,541
Ha ha.
Oh, sorry.
524
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,584
Reach around?
Reach around?
525
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:49,581
Anybody?
526
00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,879
You guys?
- I'm good.
527
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:56,005
- Hey.
Full house tonight, huh?
528
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:58,390
- Now, as I was saying
529
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,225
before we were
so rudely interrupted,
530
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,561
we're gonna smoke Damien out,
well, kind of.
531
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,475
We're gonna pull this alarm,
532
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,724
and then when everybody comes
rushing out of the theater,
533
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,066
we'll grab him.
534
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,026
- Okay, Blake,
that's-that's actually genius.
535
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,361
It's also illegal.
536
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:13,276
I think we're stacking crimes
pretty high today.
537
00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:15,490
- Ders, desperate times
calls for desperate measuring.
538
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:16,779
- And it's not illegal.
539
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:19,153
I've done it personally,
like-like, 14 times.
540
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,404
Middle school was wild.
541
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,406
- Blake, it's illegal.
542
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,250
- Fug that.
I ain't never scared.
543
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,210
- Don't move!
On the floor!
544
00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:28,454
- I didn't touch it,
I swear!
545
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,755
- I said down.
- Oh, do we have to?
546
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,598
- It's like really gross.
Okay, okay, sure, yep.
547
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,433
It's really sticky,
actually.
548
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,428
- Are you the owners
of the Volvo parked out front
549
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,600
with the crappy paint job?
550
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,563
- Why?
Did someone ding my car?
551
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,933
- Where's the kid?
552
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,934
- What in the hell
is going on here?
553
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,277
- Just stand aside
and relax, sir.
554
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,237
- No, I will not.
This is my place of business.
555
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,355
I've got permits.
556
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:56,607
- Sir, these men are involved
557
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:57,778
in the kidnapping
of a minor.
558
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,367
- No, no, no!
We didn't kidnap anybody-
559
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:00,861
No, no!
There he is, ask him!
560
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,909
- Whoa, hold on.
That's my son.
561
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,497
Now, Damien,
you get out here.
562
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:07,663
Did these guys try to
kidnap you or something?
563
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:09,036
- No, listen, please.
564
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,083
We were sent to pick him up
by his mom
565
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,581
while she was gonna make-
566
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:15,425
look, we're friend-Betsy.
We know Betsy.
567
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,465
- We're friends with Betsy.
- Yeah, we know Betsy.
568
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,133
- Yeah, I mean,
we forced him into the car,
569
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,507
but that's just 'cause he's,
like, really, really strong.
570
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,099
- He should be
in American Gladiator.
571
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,219
- Is anything
that they're saying true?
572
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,471
- Yeah, I just didn't
want to go home to mom
573
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,064
because I wanted to hang out
with you,
574
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:30,352
and-and maybe
see if we could
575
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,771
all eat Thanksgiving
together tomorrow,
576
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,439
like we used to.
577
00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,814
- Oh, that's sweet.
- That's beautiful.
578
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,986
- This carpet smells
like semen.
579
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,485
Yep, that is semen.
That is semen right there.
580
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,487
- We're just gonna get up.
- No, back down.
581
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,205
Going back down.
Oh, we'll go back down.
582
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,995
- Don't point that.
- [whimpering]
583
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,833
- It's just semen.
Stop whining.
584
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,045
So I'm leaving.
585
00:18:52,173 --> 00:18:54,165
But you still parked
in a red zone, kid.
586
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,838
And don't check
"not guilty" by accident
587
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,335
and drag my ass
into court, okay?
588
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:00,212
- Yes, sir.
- Let's get out of here.
589
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,806
- Thank you, officer.
590
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:06,142
- I am so sorry
about all this confusion.
591
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,182
It's just-ever since
our divorce,
592
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,680
it's been very hard
on Damien.
593
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:13,274
- Hey, my parents are divorced.
Holidays are rough.
594
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:14,859
- Nobody cares, crybaby.
595
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,694
- Well, he should've listened
to his mother.
596
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,984
He knows he's not supposed
to come to my picture house.
597
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,654
- Picture house?
This is a porno theater, dude.
598
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,118
Own it, man.
It's cool.
599
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,282
- Anyway, we gotta get Damien
back to the house pronto.
600
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:26,621
- Well, what's the rush?
601
00:19:26,749 --> 00:19:28,331
- Betsy's making Blake
a fake passport.
602
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:29,495
- Oh.
603
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,038
- Yeah, we've got flight
to Hedonism II
604
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,911
in, like, a couple hours,
so we better get going.
605
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,630
- Are you fuckin' kidding me?
606
00:19:35,758 --> 00:19:38,751
I love Hedonism.
Ah!
607
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,252
- Oh, cool!
608
00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:42,380
- Where do you think this
little rascal was conceived?
609
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,926
[laughter]
- Dad!
610
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,390
- Hedonism, really?
611
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,305
- Well, no, but an orgy
just like it.
612
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,678
- Hey.
- I think he's mine.
613
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,680
[laughter]
614
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,808
It's a joke we have.
- Dad!
615
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,059
- Oh, come on.
- Stop.
616
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,607
- See you, guys.
- Happy Thanksgiving.
617
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,945
- You too.
Gobble, gobble.
618
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:02,783
- Oh, and, Damien...
619
00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:07,828
- Later!
620
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,789
- I think we brought
a family together
621
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,579
just in time
for Thanksgiving.
622
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,748
- I think you're right.
- Get off me!
623
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:14,915
- I'm not on you.
624
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,583
- You and your stupid
porn theater!
625
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,424
- What is your problem?
- Let's get weird!
626
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:22,340
all: Let's get weird!
We're getting weird!
627
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:23,928
We're getting weird!
628
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:26,423
- We-we-we-we-we-we-we
629
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:28,926
we-we-we-we-we-we
we-we-we-we
630
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,142
we'll get so fucking weird.
631
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,354
[steel drum music]
632
00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:34,556
♪♪
633
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:37,435
- So did we save room
for dessert?
634
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,984
- Where are all the titties
and butt cheeks?
635
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:44,529
- Probably having Thanksgiving
with their families.
636
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,196
- That's...stupid.
637
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:49,947
- So how's that Jamaican
jerk lasagna treating you?
638
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:52,495
- Hmm.
639
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,242
It's fucking gross, Mike.
640
00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,244
- Nice!
641
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,337
[dog snorting,
noisemaker toots]
642
00:20:59,337 --> 00:21:01,337
Retail subrip by jeem.
45494
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