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1
00:00:09,812 --> 00:00:11,780
The Illusionist blows it
out of the water.
2
00:00:11,814 --> 00:00:13,915
You're kidding.
Ed Norton sucks.
3
00:00:13,949 --> 00:00:16,251
- I'm not defending ed Norton.
- What about the title?
4
00:00:16,285 --> 00:00:18,390
He's not even a real magician.
He's an illusionist?
5
00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:20,907
You watch your mouth.
6
00:00:22,757 --> 00:00:26,485
"Adam 'Dwaynethe rock
roommate demamp'"?
7
00:00:27,284 --> 00:00:29,087
All right.
8
00:00:30,976 --> 00:00:33,677
Aah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Whoa, no, no, no.
9
00:00:33,702 --> 00:00:36,604
I am so sorry.
I was not expecting anybody.
10
00:00:36,638 --> 00:00:38,506
- It's move-in day.
- Oh, wow, okay.
11
00:00:38,540 --> 00:00:40,108
Pointing fingers already.
12
00:00:40,142 --> 00:00:41,976
Not a good start
to our relationship.
13
00:00:42,011 --> 00:00:43,278
Hope you don't mind,
I already kinda
14
00:00:43,312 --> 00:00:45,446
laid claim to this squadrent.
15
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,748
That's great,
'cause I got the microwave,
16
00:00:47,783 --> 00:00:49,250
and I'll just
put it there, so...
17
00:00:49,285 --> 00:00:53,654
Sick. I love popcorn, so...
18
00:00:53,689 --> 00:00:54,823
Hey. Greetings, earthlings.
19
00:00:54,857 --> 00:00:56,991
Anders Holmvik,
resident advisor.
20
00:00:57,026 --> 00:00:59,194
- Hi, I'm Blake.
- Blake.
21
00:00:59,228 --> 00:01:01,930
What's up? I'm Adam.
Demamp.
22
00:01:01,964 --> 00:01:03,798
Uh, you play sports.
23
00:01:03,833 --> 00:01:05,399
- Swim team.
- So no?
24
00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:07,168
Sorry, that was...
25
00:01:07,203 --> 00:01:09,101
that was a funny one.
- Oh, yeah? That's funny?
26
00:01:09,142 --> 00:01:11,187
You know what's not funny?
Burning alive
27
00:01:11,206 --> 00:01:12,706
in the middle of the night
because you don't know
28
00:01:12,741 --> 00:01:14,066
your microwave
just caught on fire.
29
00:01:14,093 --> 00:01:15,565
Microwaves, not allowed
in the dorm.
30
00:01:15,597 --> 00:01:17,503
So I'll be taking this,
because I'm your R.A.
31
00:01:17,530 --> 00:01:18,763
Hey, no,
I didn't mean all that.
32
00:01:18,773 --> 00:01:20,286
Come on, man,
just gimme a break.
33
00:01:20,305 --> 00:01:22,206
There are no breaks in college!
34
00:01:22,228 --> 00:01:25,030
Oh, hey, hey, hey!
Cut it out! Pull those up!
35
00:01:25,071 --> 00:01:27,487
I'm sorry, I was
so close to finishing
36
00:01:27,522 --> 00:01:28,763
when you came in, initially.
37
00:01:28,821 --> 00:01:30,202
You're lucky
I don't write you up.
38
00:01:30,292 --> 00:01:32,185
All right, you two are
39
00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:34,311
on my s---t list.
40
00:01:34,338 --> 00:01:35,471
And it's a short list.
41
00:01:36,442 --> 00:01:40,666
It's too long.
T-o-o long.
44
00:01:46,568 --> 00:01:47,725
Greetings, earthlings.
45
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:49,935
Anders Holmvik,
resident advisor.
46
00:01:50,045 --> 00:01:52,280
So are you gonna be
turned around for a while,
47
00:01:52,314 --> 00:01:53,982
or...
48
00:01:59,054 --> 00:02:01,589
♪ It's always times like these
when I think of you ♪
49
00:02:01,623 --> 00:02:05,855
♪ And I wonder if you ever
think of me ♪
50
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:09,813
What to do to die today
at a minute or two to two.
51
00:02:09,877 --> 00:02:12,568
Hey, dude,
they give you pudding, man.
52
00:02:12,609 --> 00:02:14,255
- Hey, dude.
- You go in the cafeteria,
53
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,690
and you just swipe a card,
and they give you
54
00:02:15,707 --> 00:02:17,502
as much pudding as you want.
- Oh, cool.
55
00:02:17,514 --> 00:02:19,446
- What's this, your schedule?
- Yeah, yeah.
56
00:02:20,827 --> 00:02:23,068
What's up with all
this theater, man?
57
00:02:23,333 --> 00:02:26,001
Well, I'm a theater major,
so...
58
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:28,616
yeah, I caught the acting bug
pretty bad.
59
00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:31,319
But yeah, I already auditioned
for the fall production...
60
00:02:31,353 --> 00:02:33,187
les miserables.
- That's cool.
61
00:02:33,222 --> 00:02:35,423
So can you, like,
cry on command and stuff?
62
00:02:35,457 --> 00:02:37,158
Oh, yeah, it's easy.
63
00:02:37,192 --> 00:02:39,193
Think of something really sad
real quick.
64
00:02:39,228 --> 00:02:40,828
Like, a bundle of babies
exploding,
65
00:02:40,862 --> 00:02:42,530
or, like, dogs exploding.
66
00:02:42,564 --> 00:02:44,698
Or, like... like, maybe
your mom's really sick,
67
00:02:44,733 --> 00:02:48,002
or you, like, walked in
on, like... on her rape
68
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:50,104
you now, stop him...
you can't stop him
69
00:02:50,139 --> 00:02:51,472
because he's bigger than you.
70
00:02:51,506 --> 00:02:54,675
Like, you just think of that...
71
00:02:58,347 --> 00:03:02,951
Oh, that hit so close
to home for me.
72
00:03:02,985 --> 00:03:05,619
My dog actually exploded
when I was a kid.
73
00:03:05,654 --> 00:03:07,221
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
- It's okay.
74
00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:09,790
- You are a really good actor.
- Thank you.
75
00:03:09,825 --> 00:03:10,927
You're like
Seann Williams Scott.
76
00:03:10,951 --> 00:03:12,432
You're at
a Seann Williams Scott level.
77
00:03:12,457 --> 00:03:13,475
Thank you. Thank you.
78
00:03:13,487 --> 00:03:15,166
Well, you know,
it's just living truthfully
79
00:03:15,197 --> 00:03:18,180
in imaginary circumstances,
and whatever.
80
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,783
Enough about me.
What's... what's on your schedule?
81
00:03:20,883 --> 00:03:24,127
Oh, me...
Women's sexuality,
82
00:03:24,147 --> 00:03:27,482
sexual revolution,
the human body,
83
00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:29,886
remedial math...
84
00:03:30,045 --> 00:03:32,013
The Bible as literature.
85
00:03:32,047 --> 00:03:33,781
I'm doing that for my gf.
86
00:03:33,815 --> 00:03:36,650
Get the heck out of here.
You already scored a girlfriend?
87
00:03:36,685 --> 00:03:38,186
Oh, no,
she's back in high school.
88
00:03:38,220 --> 00:03:39,954
We're, like, crazy religious,
though.
89
00:03:39,989 --> 00:03:42,556
We always get on our knees...
And pray to Jesus.
90
00:03:42,591 --> 00:03:44,392
- Not orally, please.
- Oh.
91
00:03:44,426 --> 00:03:46,294
You know, she's actually
coming next weekend.
92
00:03:46,328 --> 00:03:48,629
We'll go see you act the
out of that play, dude.
93
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,231
Uh, that's not for a while.
94
00:03:50,265 --> 00:03:53,067
Plus, I already got cast
as, like, a police officer.
95
00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:55,370
I'm just in the background.
I don't even have lines.
96
00:03:55,404 --> 00:03:56,670
- What?
- Yeah, I know.
97
00:03:56,705 --> 00:03:58,072
It's just a popularity contest
98
00:03:58,107 --> 00:03:59,240
when you get down to it.
99
00:03:59,274 --> 00:04:01,009
Whoa, man.
100
00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:03,044
I'm, like, the most
popular dude in my high school
101
00:04:03,078 --> 00:04:04,578
now that I've graduated
high school,
102
00:04:04,613 --> 00:04:08,516
and I am throwing you...
A party, bro,
103
00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:10,851
so you can infiltrate
that theater-nerd crew.
104
00:04:10,886 --> 00:04:12,220
Like in mean girls.
105
00:04:12,254 --> 00:04:13,687
Yes!
106
00:04:13,722 --> 00:04:15,908
You know, Mean girls is
my favorite movie.
107
00:04:15,933 --> 00:04:16,909
It's mine too.
108
00:04:16,934 --> 00:04:18,563
The DVD special commentary...
109
00:04:18,594 --> 00:04:20,775
- Oh!
- Oh, my God. Oh, my...
110
00:04:20,799 --> 00:04:22,858
- listen to it.
Lindsay just tells all.
111
00:04:22,885 --> 00:04:23,985
Oh, yeah.
112
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,685
Tina Fey.
113
00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:27,710
You growing your hair out
for Jesus Christ superstar?
114
00:04:27,775 --> 00:04:29,176
That's really cool.
It looks great.
115
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:30,704
That's dedication.
I love it.
116
00:04:30,739 --> 00:04:33,007
How about we celebrate
my first night in college
117
00:04:33,042 --> 00:04:35,443
with a little...
Finger sinning?
118
00:04:35,477 --> 00:04:36,610
You're so bad.
119
00:04:36,645 --> 00:04:37,678
- We could try for two.
- Stop.
120
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:38,979
I wanna try two.
121
00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:41,015
You wanna try two?
Oh, my gosh.
122
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:42,616
Adam. Adam.
123
00:04:42,651 --> 00:04:44,485
The student director
of les mis, he's here.
124
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,412
- He actually came.
- Yes!
125
00:04:46,438 --> 00:04:48,789
Cranium?
The children's game?
126
00:04:48,823 --> 00:04:49,890
No, thank you.
127
00:04:49,925 --> 00:04:50,793
This is great, dude.
128
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,675
This is exactly why
we threw the party.
129
00:04:52,705 --> 00:04:53,878
Oh, no, I can't do it, man.
130
00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:55,506
I'm gonna blow it again.
I'm too nervous.
131
00:04:55,522 --> 00:04:56,690
Don't get nervous.
132
00:04:56,887 --> 00:04:59,255
Smoke a little chron-chron,
my baby.
133
00:04:59,963 --> 00:05:01,189
I've never tried it.
134
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:04,282
I have a bevy of mixers
off-campus to attend.
135
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:06,372
Do you know about
off-campus?
136
00:05:06,575 --> 00:05:07,608
Or are you only aware
of the world
137
00:05:07,642 --> 00:05:09,043
immediately in front of you?
138
00:05:09,078 --> 00:05:11,112
Yes, look at that,
it's time for me to go.
139
00:05:11,146 --> 00:05:12,447
It's showtime, bro-time.
140
00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:15,983
Uh, actually, wait right here.
141
00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,718
Uhoh, guys,
142
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,455
I wonder who's knick-knocking
on our door.
143
00:05:20,489 --> 00:05:22,756
Who's here right now?
This is weird, because
144
00:05:22,791 --> 00:05:24,792
all my friends are here.
Is it...
145
00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:28,396
The Napoleon dynamite?
146
00:05:28,430 --> 00:05:31,799
Gosh! Gosh...
147
00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:34,402
Gosh.
148
00:05:34,436 --> 00:05:35,603
Gosh!
149
00:05:35,637 --> 00:05:38,005
Wow, he is a true talent.
150
00:05:38,039 --> 00:05:39,190
You should probably cast him
151
00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:40,765
in the miserable lesbian play
you're doing.
152
00:05:40,809 --> 00:05:41,775
Mm, no.
153
00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:43,744
Come on, Tina, eat your dinner,
154
00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,111
you fat tub of lard!
155
00:05:45,139 --> 00:05:47,331
From the movie!
Tina, from the mo...
156
00:05:47,382 --> 00:05:49,551
- Thanks. Vote for Pedro.
157
00:05:49,559 --> 00:05:51,890
That was a funny part... "liger."
What the hell is going on in here?
158
00:05:51,915 --> 00:05:53,209
Why is everyone clapping?
159
00:05:53,277 --> 00:05:55,045
Is that music?
Chill out, man.
160
00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:57,773
- Take a seat, grab a beer.
- You know what? It's 9:30,
161
00:05:57,805 --> 00:05:59,505
and you live
on the swim team floor.
162
00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:02,063
We hit the water at 6:00 A.M.
for an 800 skip 'em.
163
00:06:02,084 --> 00:06:04,052
Which means lights out
at 10:00.
164
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,881
Which tells me you need
to brush your teeth
165
00:06:05,929 --> 00:06:07,129
and get on your jammy-jams.
166
00:06:07,148 --> 00:06:08,443
Hey, come on, man.
167
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:10,368
You're being a frikkin' idiot!
168
00:06:10,399 --> 00:06:11,786
I'm not an idiot.
I'm a smart person.
169
00:06:11,819 --> 00:06:12,920
Everybody out of here.
Come on!
170
00:06:12,954 --> 00:06:14,187
See you at class tomorrow.
171
00:06:14,222 --> 00:06:15,966
I'm remembering all your faces.
172
00:06:16,122 --> 00:06:18,324
Scanning them now.
173
00:06:18,426 --> 00:06:20,227
Hey, babe.
174
00:06:20,261 --> 00:06:22,695
Um, I'll just drive home
and come back next weekend.
175
00:06:22,930 --> 00:06:25,227
I swear to you, next weekend...
176
00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:28,758
I'm gonna finger bang you
so good... I swear to God.
177
00:06:28,869 --> 00:06:30,904
Or other stuff, you know.
It depen...
178
00:06:30,939 --> 00:06:32,872
whatever you want to...
okay. How do you feel?
179
00:06:32,907 --> 00:06:34,507
That girl's probably
gonna kill herself
180
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:35,775
because I don't get
to finger bang her.
181
00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:37,644
- Sure.
- Yeah, what the heck, man!
182
00:06:37,678 --> 00:06:39,279
I was just about to do
the tetherball scene!
183
00:06:39,314 --> 00:06:40,668
And then you came in
and made me look like
184
00:06:40,687 --> 00:06:42,241
an amateur
in front of my director.
185
00:06:42,264 --> 00:06:43,574
Yeah, you're crampin'
our stees.
186
00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:45,118
You know what's amateur?
187
00:06:45,153 --> 00:06:46,719
Doing a Napoleon Dynamite
impression
188
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,676
and not wearing moon boots.
Oh...
189
00:06:48,713 --> 00:06:50,594
Welcome to college...
Again.
190
00:06:51,343 --> 00:06:52,574
Lights out, girls.
191
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,608
- Lights out.
- Holmvik.
192
00:06:54,932 --> 00:06:57,591
- You shut down that party?
- Oh, hey, Lance, yeah.
193
00:06:57,627 --> 00:06:59,077
Dude, I went in there,
and I was, like,
194
00:06:59,101 --> 00:07:00,745
"Who's clapping?
195
00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:02,618
Why are you clapping?"
Then I heard music,
196
00:07:02,624 --> 00:07:04,337
and I couldn't find it at first,
but then I found it...
197
00:07:04,366 --> 00:07:05,856
I shut it off,
so we can hit the hay.
198
00:07:05,896 --> 00:07:07,397
Actually,
me and the distance guys are
199
00:07:07,424 --> 00:07:08,812
getting in there
first thing in the morning,
200
00:07:08,831 --> 00:07:10,032
so you need to run
down to the pool
201
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,516
and change the lanes
to short course.
202
00:07:11,529 --> 00:07:12,829
Wait, what if...
203
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:14,430
what if we woke up
some of the freshmen
204
00:07:14,448 --> 00:07:16,130
and made them do it?
Freak 'em out, right?
205
00:07:16,165 --> 00:07:18,749
And go, "you gotta
go change the Lane lines now!"
206
00:07:18,787 --> 00:07:20,005
- Is that a joke?
- No.
207
00:07:20,027 --> 00:07:22,327
Dude, you know that hazing
is a really serious offense?
208
00:07:22,352 --> 00:07:23,958
- Right.
- If I wanted a joke,
209
00:07:24,061 --> 00:07:25,524
I would turn on Mind of Mencia,
210
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,547
and I would just
laugh my shaft off.
211
00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:29,995
All right, well,
I'll just, uh...
212
00:07:30,031 --> 00:07:31,131
I'll go change
those lane lines.
213
00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,232
- Yeah. Thanks, man.
- Oh-ho!
214
00:07:32,266 --> 00:07:33,441
- Ow.
- And you know what?
215
00:07:33,472 --> 00:07:34,816
You should probably lay off
the enchiladas
216
00:07:34,835 --> 00:07:37,070
in the caf.
- Oh, okay.
217
00:07:37,392 --> 00:07:39,816
I will... If you do.
218
00:07:39,853 --> 00:07:41,219
'Cause I think you need
to lay off
219
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,154
the enchiladas in the caf.
220
00:07:43,244 --> 00:07:45,145
No, Holmvik, I'm not joking.
221
00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:47,947
You're growing tits.
222
00:07:48,950 --> 00:07:50,641
Oh, all right...
223
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:52,649
I'll lay off.
224
00:08:00,082 --> 00:08:03,913
Guy totally ruined
my Dynamite Napoleon impression.
225
00:08:03,957 --> 00:08:05,039
Now what?
226
00:08:05,079 --> 00:08:06,947
I'm working on Shrek, but...
227
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:10,890
It's years away, donkey.
228
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:14,964
Jesus Christ...
You ooze talent.
229
00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:17,014
That was disgusting.
230
00:08:17,048 --> 00:08:18,715
And I can't even concentrate
on that
231
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,583
because I'm too busy
hating that dude.
232
00:08:20,618 --> 00:08:22,152
I don't blame the guy, though.
233
00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:23,953
He's cranky 'cause he has to
wake up so early
234
00:08:23,988 --> 00:08:25,355
for swim practice.
235
00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:27,376
You know what?
236
00:08:27,672 --> 00:08:30,842
Maybe we need to make it
so that he never, ever wakes up
237
00:08:30,876 --> 00:08:32,509
for swim practice again.
238
00:08:32,544 --> 00:08:36,380
One time I went swimming
in, like, the neighbor's pool
239
00:08:36,414 --> 00:08:38,182
when they had just shocked it
with chlorine.
240
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:40,118
My skin got all fiery red,
241
00:08:40,152 --> 00:08:42,019
and my hair straightened out
for, like, a month.
242
00:08:42,054 --> 00:08:44,021
When I was a toddler,
I actually fell
243
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,057
into a washing machine
full of bleach,
244
00:08:46,091 --> 00:08:47,491
and I didn't get itchy at all.
245
00:08:47,525 --> 00:08:50,795
I did die, though...
For, like, four minutes.
246
00:08:50,829 --> 00:08:52,463
The doctors said
they couldn't believe
247
00:08:52,497 --> 00:08:54,341
how much brain damage
I didn't get.
248
00:08:54,364 --> 00:08:56,298
They were, like,
really impressed.
249
00:08:56,782 --> 00:08:59,163
That was fun. You wanna do
another story battle?
250
00:08:59,218 --> 00:09:00,746
I kicked your ass.
251
00:09:00,824 --> 00:09:02,536
No. I just brought that up
because I thought
252
00:09:02,566 --> 00:09:04,968
we could maybe shock this pool.
253
00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:07,090
Good ide...
you should have just said that.
254
00:09:07,112 --> 00:09:08,312
Now we're talking.
255
00:09:08,346 --> 00:09:10,481
One of these has got
to do the trick.
256
00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,784
There's, like,
60 more back there, man.
257
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:15,588
All right.
258
00:09:15,714 --> 00:09:17,315
You think this is funny?
259
00:09:17,711 --> 00:09:19,821
I just send you down
to change the lanes,
260
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:21,119
and you poison the whole team?
261
00:09:21,146 --> 00:09:22,947
Look at Freddy.
262
00:09:23,644 --> 00:09:24,907
I didn't do this.
I swear.
263
00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,312
And you know what,
I'm not ready to lose
264
00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,696
to another [Bleep] Vanderkaay,
265
00:09:27,705 --> 00:09:29,206
so, Anders...
266
00:09:29,696 --> 00:09:31,304
There's a chain of command
in swimming,
267
00:09:31,369 --> 00:09:34,175
and you are off the chain.
- Thank you.
268
00:09:34,636 --> 00:09:37,731
No, I mean that
you're off the team.
269
00:09:38,057 --> 00:09:40,770
- What? Coach?
- Empty out your locker.
270
00:09:40,926 --> 00:09:42,751
You're gone!
271
00:09:43,404 --> 00:09:44,886
Get your tits off this deck!
272
00:09:44,938 --> 00:09:47,452
- Softy. The big softy.
- Mm-hmm.
273
00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:50,386
Hey, there.
What's the matter?
274
00:09:50,405 --> 00:09:52,473
Swim practice canceled?
275
00:09:53,061 --> 00:09:54,210
Uh, yeah.
276
00:09:54,253 --> 00:09:56,388
That's cool. At least
you get to sleep in, right?
277
00:09:57,493 --> 00:10:00,513
Actually, they, um...
They kicked me off the team
278
00:10:00,537 --> 00:10:03,081
and took my scholarship, so...
279
00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:05,037
I'm kinda screwed since
my dad's making me
280
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:07,603
pay my way through school.
Whatever.
281
00:10:07,645 --> 00:10:10,596
Ex-jock coming through.
Heads up.
282
00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:15,812
Hey, we just wanted
to check on you
283
00:10:15,831 --> 00:10:17,853
because you were crying
pretty hard in the shower.
284
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,544
Frosh dogs, get in here
and help me
285
00:10:19,568 --> 00:10:20,720
Polish off this case,
286
00:10:20,747 --> 00:10:22,866
seeing as that I'm not even
your R.A. Anymore.
287
00:10:23,218 --> 00:10:24,818
- All right.
- Yeah, come on in.
288
00:10:24,852 --> 00:10:27,287
These were actually
our beers from before, so...
289
00:10:27,322 --> 00:10:28,822
- oh, these are yours?
- Yeah, these are ours.
290
00:10:28,856 --> 00:10:29,446
Sorry.
291
00:10:29,477 --> 00:10:31,912
So you guys wanna
make a toast or something?
292
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:35,641
To... Uh...
Let's get drunk!
293
00:10:35,663 --> 00:10:37,337
- Yeah!
- Now we're talkin'.
294
00:10:37,355 --> 00:10:38,656
All right!
295
00:10:38,682 --> 00:10:39,849
One, two, three, chug race.
296
00:10:39,886 --> 00:10:42,088
Chug race!
297
00:10:42,121 --> 00:10:44,256
You chug it, boy.
Chug it!
298
00:10:44,472 --> 00:10:47,141
This is a wrestling
figure-four, baby!
299
00:10:47,175 --> 00:10:50,644
Oh...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
300
00:10:50,678 --> 00:10:54,448
♪ You work at a smile
and you go for a ride ♪
301
00:10:54,482 --> 00:10:58,752
♪ You had a bad day,
the camera don't lie ♪
302
00:10:58,786 --> 00:11:00,354
♪ You're coming back down
303
00:11:00,388 --> 00:11:01,955
♪ and you really don't mind.
304
00:11:01,989 --> 00:11:05,091
♪ You had a bad day
305
00:11:05,126 --> 00:11:07,227
♪ You had a bad day
306
00:11:07,262 --> 00:11:09,796
yeah, I just...
you know, I gotta go.
307
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:14,601
I gotta get going, so...
Um... Thanks...
308
00:11:14,636 --> 00:11:15,969
And good-bye forever.
309
00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:17,971
Yeah, bye forever.
310
00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:19,306
Bye forever.
311
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:20,641
Yep.
312
00:11:20,675 --> 00:11:23,777
Pbbbbbbb...
313
00:11:23,811 --> 00:11:25,445
So that guy's gonna
kill himself, right?
314
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:26,780
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- All right.
315
00:11:26,814 --> 00:11:29,483
We're throwing you a party.
What?
316
00:11:29,517 --> 00:11:30,750
Yeah, we're throwing you
a massive party
317
00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:32,085
that everybody's gonna come to.
318
00:11:32,119 --> 00:11:33,220
And we're gonna make
enough money
319
00:11:33,254 --> 00:11:34,854
to keep you in school for now.
320
00:11:34,889 --> 00:11:36,890
- Like van Wilder?
- Yeah, like a lot of movies.
321
00:11:36,924 --> 00:11:39,926
- I'm Teck.
- All we need is beer...
322
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,095
And drugs...
And titties.
323
00:11:42,129 --> 00:11:44,264
You gots ta have some titties,
baby.
324
00:11:44,299 --> 00:11:47,067
Well, I got one
of those covered.
325
00:11:47,101 --> 00:11:48,768
Yeah, what is up
with your moobs?
326
00:11:48,803 --> 00:11:52,239
What? Oh, no,
I'm talking about booze.
327
00:11:54,008 --> 00:11:55,342
Confiscated.
328
00:11:55,376 --> 00:11:56,710
Seriously, though,
about those titties...
329
00:11:56,744 --> 00:11:57,760
can I feel them?
330
00:11:57,785 --> 00:11:58,818
You know, a lot of people try
331
00:11:58,844 --> 00:11:59,716
and suck their own.
332
00:11:59,734 --> 00:12:01,402
I could titty [Bleep] myself.
333
00:12:08,026 --> 00:12:09,927
♪ Chick do what?
334
00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:21,773
Party police.
There's still another party.
335
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,842
Whoa, check it out, man,
it's gonna be cool.
336
00:12:23,876 --> 00:12:26,878
- Party police!
- Gonna party tonight.
337
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,746
Party police!
Everybody stop...
338
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:29,981
give me that smirnoff ice!
339
00:12:30,015 --> 00:12:31,783
If you guys want to party,
340
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:33,084
there will be
a school-sanctioned rager.
341
00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:37,088
$5. You can get
all your booze back.
342
00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:39,090
We're party policemen!
Give us your booze!
343
00:12:39,124 --> 00:12:41,125
So what now?
I mean, why are we here?
344
00:12:41,159 --> 00:12:43,094
Oh, we're looking
for a drug dealer.
345
00:12:43,128 --> 00:12:45,096
You know, my theater
department colleagues,
346
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,121
they swear by this guy.
- Cool.
347
00:12:47,145 --> 00:12:48,384
- All right.
- Let's do it.
348
00:12:48,417 --> 00:12:49,721
We'll probably have to
get really high
349
00:12:49,734 --> 00:12:51,494
just to get through the day.
350
00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,771
Hey! Hey,
what are you doing?
351
00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:55,473
Sorry. I'm sorry.
352
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,375
That's people's work.
You can't graffiti here.
353
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,777
- Hey, [Bleep] You!
- Oh, we got a clever one.
354
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,278
Hey, what's your name?
355
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:03,848
Look out, I'll get him.
356
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,352
Looks about right.
357
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,356
You mean genius.
358
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,926
- Hey, wait.
- Wait!
359
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,060
We just want to buy some weed.
360
00:13:16,094 --> 00:13:17,729
Weed?
361
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:20,164
Oh, hell, yeah, bitch.
362
00:13:20,198 --> 00:13:22,734
I'll attack you
with my butterfly kisses.
363
00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:24,669
You guys, we've already got
a couple thousand bucks.
364
00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:25,970
This party's going great!
365
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,006
Whoa, nice.
366
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,207
- I need a drink.
- Awesome. I love you so much.
367
00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:31,910
Get me a beer, woman!
368
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:34,679
I'm like my dad.
He talks that way to my mom.
369
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,015
- Your dad talks like that?
- Yeah.
370
00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:40,451
Oh! Guys, I'm not gonna lie,
I am so nervous.
371
00:13:40,485 --> 00:13:41,920
I invited Fritz here
and, you know,
372
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:44,255
he's already seen
that I can do comedy,
373
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:46,390
so I prepared
a dramatic piece for him.
374
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:48,893
So I'm gonna do
this stirring monologue
375
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:52,931
from Tim curry in the
quintessential film Congo.
376
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,537
- It's an American classic.
- Mmhmm.
377
00:13:54,555 --> 00:13:56,095
You have no reason
to be nervous.
378
00:13:56,114 --> 00:13:58,502
I'm the one who's about
to propose to my girlfriend.
379
00:13:58,537 --> 00:14:00,705
- What?
- A lifelong commitment.
380
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:02,006
You're joking, right?
381
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,876
I don't joke about love,
Anders.
382
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:05,796
On-ders.
383
00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:06,858
I used to cut myself
384
00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:07,926
to dashboard confessional.
385
00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:09,728
I love love, okay?
386
00:14:10,218 --> 00:14:11,586
Um, here's a joke.
387
00:14:11,645 --> 00:14:13,980
What did three girls say
to the one dude?
388
00:14:14,289 --> 00:14:17,593
So you, like, really love her.
That's cool.
389
00:14:17,617 --> 00:14:19,785
Ehh, well, she's really
the only chick
390
00:14:19,808 --> 00:14:21,876
that lets me make out with her
until my tongue hurts.
391
00:14:21,953 --> 00:14:26,188
She's kind of my last shot
at lifelong happiness.
392
00:14:27,350 --> 00:14:28,538
Wish me luck.
393
00:14:28,570 --> 00:14:30,896
All right. Don't blow it.
394
00:14:31,207 --> 00:14:33,770
Don't blow it
like I'm about to.
395
00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:37,210
Hey, buddy, I couldn't help
but overhear
396
00:14:37,230 --> 00:14:39,465
you're being a little
nervous Nelly Furtado.
397
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:41,193
Yeah, I guess.
398
00:14:41,226 --> 00:14:43,794
- You need a friend?
- Oh, nah.
399
00:14:43,824 --> 00:14:45,475
Bleh! No. Don't do it.
400
00:14:45,499 --> 00:14:47,701
Blake, try it once, man.
Look at me, man.
401
00:14:47,718 --> 00:14:49,052
I got it all figured out,
buddy.
402
00:14:50,298 --> 00:14:51,699
Did it cause your eye
to do that, or...
403
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,024
- no, I was born with that.
- Oh, okay.
404
00:14:53,043 --> 00:14:54,409
Then, yeah,
I'll give it a shot.
405
00:14:54,429 --> 00:14:56,097
Doesn't help,
I'll tell you that much.
406
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:59,106
- Where are my beers?
- Oh!
407
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,749
I was just looking
for some cranberry juice.
408
00:15:01,784 --> 00:15:05,378
Well...
Look no further.
409
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:10,034
Will you marry me?
410
00:15:10,469 --> 00:15:12,874
Adam, are you...
are you kidding?
411
00:15:13,005 --> 00:15:14,572
I'm 16.
412
00:15:15,006 --> 00:15:17,073
Debatably the sexiest age.
413
00:15:17,109 --> 00:15:19,720
We doing this or are you gonna
pussy out on me?
414
00:15:19,776 --> 00:15:20,914
Chicken.
415
00:15:20,937 --> 00:15:23,575
Adam, no, I...
I don't understand what...
416
00:15:23,597 --> 00:15:25,178
- or, I don't know,
417
00:15:25,212 --> 00:15:28,225
you can knock off
all that God stuff, right?
418
00:15:28,387 --> 00:15:31,393
And just, pbbbbb...
Fug me hard.
419
00:15:31,425 --> 00:15:33,627
- Well...
- Hit that caboose.
420
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:36,693
No, Adam, my faith means
everything to me.
421
00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:37,583
Forever?
422
00:15:37,621 --> 00:15:40,994
I am not having sex
until I'm married.
423
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:44,619
Yeah, duh.
You thick?
424
00:15:44,648 --> 00:15:45,886
You dumb-dumb.
425
00:15:45,911 --> 00:15:48,286
Obviously, that's why
I'm proposing to you.
426
00:15:48,305 --> 00:15:49,272
You know what, Adam,
427
00:15:49,297 --> 00:15:50,816
I think we should take
some time off.
428
00:15:50,854 --> 00:15:52,147
And I'll pray for you.
429
00:15:52,554 --> 00:15:54,335
You'll be in my prayers.
430
00:15:54,394 --> 00:15:56,487
You still want me to call you
out of class on Tuesday?
431
00:15:56,518 --> 00:15:57,809
I'll take you to sonic.
432
00:15:57,837 --> 00:16:00,127
Wow, okay, you give your heart
to someone, right?
433
00:16:00,152 --> 00:16:01,840
And they just rip it out
434
00:16:01,887 --> 00:16:03,842
and in the heart cavity area.
435
00:16:03,895 --> 00:16:06,063
College sucks.
It's stupid.
436
00:16:06,392 --> 00:16:08,493
- Really?
- Yeah.
437
00:16:08,527 --> 00:16:10,461
I'm having a really great time.
438
00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:11,502
Really?
439
00:16:11,528 --> 00:16:13,617
Of course,
I'm from a boring small town
440
00:16:13,636 --> 00:16:18,095
with one stoplight,
so this is... this is fun for me.
441
00:16:18,887 --> 00:16:21,279
How religious are you?
442
00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,733
I wish this was real.
443
00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:26,042
He would have murdered her.
444
00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:27,955
Hey, it's Blake, right?
445
00:16:28,838 --> 00:16:30,044
Oh, [Bleep] Look at this.
446
00:16:30,063 --> 00:16:32,463
I saw you on campus earlier,
and I've gotta say,
447
00:16:32,907 --> 00:16:35,210
pretty convincing
French police officer.
448
00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:36,763
- Thank you.
- How would you like to be
449
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,532
the understudy of Javert
450
00:16:38,558 --> 00:16:41,458
in this year's production
of Les Mis?
451
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,942
Understudy.
452
00:16:42,982 --> 00:16:46,351
How 'bout, uh, you study
under my nut sack?
453
00:16:46,554 --> 00:16:47,888
Oh!
454
00:16:47,917 --> 00:16:49,412
- Right under there.
- There it is.
455
00:16:49,437 --> 00:16:52,348
- There it is.
- Sorry, is that a no?
456
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:56,444
Fritz, life...
is a stage.
457
00:16:56,565 --> 00:16:59,610
Smoke weed until you die.
That's right. That's right.
458
00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:01,898
Now, why don't you go
direct yourself over
459
00:17:01,923 --> 00:17:05,225
to the snack shack
and get daddy some airheads?
460
00:17:05,289 --> 00:17:06,478
Bounce, man.
461
00:17:06,502 --> 00:17:08,470
Okay, I will bounce, thank you.
462
00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:10,247
- Bye.
- That was good, man.
463
00:17:10,356 --> 00:17:12,223
Acting's for chicks, anyways.
464
00:17:12,245 --> 00:17:13,737
Yo, dudes, check it out.
465
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:16,371
One semester in cash.
We did it.
466
00:17:16,395 --> 00:17:18,149
Oh, man, that is so awesome
467
00:17:18,186 --> 00:17:21,321
because I was feeling
very guilty about that.
468
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,108
Why are you feeling
guilty, man?
469
00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:26,730
- Well...
- Poon! Poon!
470
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,745
Whoo!
I'm on the sex train!
471
00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:31,037
Oh, he's pounding
the beef out of her.
472
00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:33,879
This is my life!
This is my life right now!
473
00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:35,141
- Don't stop.
- Whoo!
474
00:17:35,170 --> 00:17:37,537
- Welcome to college.
- Pooooon!
475
00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:40,717
- Oh!
- Aah!
476
00:17:40,746 --> 00:17:42,680
Oh, doin' her doggy...
good night!
477
00:17:42,752 --> 00:17:47,256
My bad. Yo, guys,
check me out.
478
00:17:48,312 --> 00:17:51,414
Dude... Yeah!
479
00:17:53,757 --> 00:17:56,415
- You see that?
- That's my guy.
480
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:58,594
This is everything
I've ever wanted.
481
00:17:58,622 --> 00:18:00,307
That's it, I gotta do it.
I'm next.
482
00:18:00,339 --> 00:18:01,905
I'm jumping off that thing next.
Do it.
483
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:04,458
No, you're not.
This party's over.
484
00:18:04,482 --> 00:18:07,284
This pool is ours, and you guys
all gotta get out of here.
485
00:18:07,304 --> 00:18:08,905
No, we're not
going anywhere, okay.
486
00:18:08,945 --> 00:18:10,808
This party's gonna go
all night, right?
487
00:18:12,986 --> 00:18:16,321
Yeah, all right,
I could let the party ride out.
488
00:18:16,533 --> 00:18:17,771
Cool. Thanks.
489
00:18:17,808 --> 00:18:19,208
- If you pay me.
- Hey!
490
00:18:19,222 --> 00:18:22,110
Oh, no, no, no, no.
That's his money.
491
00:18:22,294 --> 00:18:23,569
We... we earned that.
492
00:18:23,595 --> 00:18:25,230
Lance, I'm not your bitch
any more, all right?
493
00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:28,924
Give it back.
Take it from me.
494
00:18:29,336 --> 00:18:31,204
I got a better idea.
495
00:18:31,339 --> 00:18:35,288
Why don't we settle this
like men... And swim for it?
496
00:18:35,643 --> 00:18:37,176
Whoa!
497
00:18:41,309 --> 00:18:44,755
Whooooah...
It that, like, a swimmer thing?
498
00:18:44,808 --> 00:18:47,311
No, I didn't expect him
to do that also.
499
00:18:47,419 --> 00:18:48,553
Damn it.
500
00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:50,488
♪ Skinny boy's in the place
501
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:01,079
That's it, Holmvik,
you're about to get lapped.
502
00:19:01,116 --> 00:19:02,384
Suck my wake.
503
00:19:02,418 --> 00:19:04,819
God, swimming trash talk
is horrible.
504
00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:08,623
Okay, now we're gonna, uh,
do the swim race.
505
00:19:08,658 --> 00:19:12,059
In three, two...
506
00:19:12,094 --> 00:19:13,395
Go, start swimming now!
507
00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:15,229
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
508
00:19:18,334 --> 00:19:20,268
- Swimming!
- Yeah.
509
00:19:20,303 --> 00:19:25,473
- Go, Anders.
- Go, Anders!
510
00:19:25,508 --> 00:19:26,974
Go, Anders!
511
00:19:27,009 --> 00:19:28,810
Come on, Anders!
512
00:19:33,749 --> 00:19:35,517
I thought that was gonna be it.
513
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:37,018
This is a lot of swimming.
Yeah, I mean...
514
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,053
- how much longer
do we have to watch this?
515
00:19:39,087 --> 00:19:42,156
This is boring.
Wanna smoke some weed?
516
00:19:42,191 --> 00:19:43,525
Yes, I will do anything
517
00:19:43,559 --> 00:19:45,327
besides watch
these two naked dudes swim.
518
00:19:45,361 --> 00:19:48,095
All right, everybody stay
right where you are.
519
00:19:48,130 --> 00:19:51,999
- Oh... No... no running.
- Stop!
520
00:19:52,034 --> 00:19:53,535
No running.
521
00:19:53,569 --> 00:19:55,503
Hey, tell everybody
that we threw this party.
522
00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:57,405
All right, let's go, Anders,
you got this.
523
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,573
You versus you.
524
00:19:58,607 --> 00:20:00,542
Oh, all right.
Hey. Ow.
525
00:20:00,576 --> 00:20:03,678
- Okay. Jesus.
- Did I win?
526
00:20:03,713 --> 00:20:06,348
Kicked off campus.
527
00:20:06,382 --> 00:20:08,049
Wow, I did not see that coming.
528
00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:10,518
Whatever, man. Who wants
to live in the dorms anyways?
529
00:20:10,553 --> 00:20:13,488
It sucks. Now we can party
like last night every night.
530
00:20:13,522 --> 00:20:15,256
I'm gonna drink
and have sex so much
531
00:20:15,290 --> 00:20:17,359
I'm probably gonna puke
out my dick!
532
00:20:17,393 --> 00:20:18,926
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
533
00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:21,252
Yeah, okay, well,
living off-campus is expensive.
534
00:20:21,295 --> 00:20:22,932
We might as well check out
one of these jobs.
535
00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:24,399
Hello.
Hello.
536
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:25,768
Oh, hi, guys.
537
00:20:25,786 --> 00:20:28,688
I hope you'll consider applying
to Telamericorp.
538
00:20:28,804 --> 00:20:31,495
You know, telemarketing can be
a very lucrative
539
00:20:31,514 --> 00:20:33,549
part-time job for a student.
540
00:20:33,577 --> 00:20:35,445
- Ha ha, no, thanks.
- Yeah.
541
00:20:35,461 --> 00:20:37,264
I don't think we need
to be on the phones,
542
00:20:37,312 --> 00:20:39,683
cold-calling strangers
and selling steak knives or...
543
00:20:39,741 --> 00:20:40,756
I don't know what you do.
- Yeah.
544
00:20:40,783 --> 00:20:42,684
We have our whole lives
ahead of us,
545
00:20:42,718 --> 00:20:45,481
which are more than likely
gonna be sick!
546
00:20:45,516 --> 00:20:47,098
Yeah.
547
00:20:47,134 --> 00:20:48,734
Do you guys drug test?
548
00:20:48,791 --> 00:20:49,991
- Yeah.
- Of course.
549
00:20:50,025 --> 00:20:51,626
Oh!
550
00:20:51,660 --> 00:20:53,340
Oh, hey! That was...
551
00:20:53,372 --> 00:20:55,940
see, I told you that would
happen if you wore that.
552
00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:58,067
Is it cool if I just
hang out with you guys here?
553
00:20:58,086 --> 00:21:00,020
Nice!
554
00:21:02,188 --> 00:21:07,188
Sync and corrections by Sp8ky for
www.Addic7ed.Com
Resync for DEMAND by antibio
40076
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