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1
00:00:00,988 --> 00:00:03,618
Man, this summer kickoff
party's gonna be, like,
2
00:00:03,726 --> 00:00:06,295
MTV Beach House
throwback status.
3
00:00:06,362 --> 00:00:08,904
Daisy Fuentes's butt-cheeks
are just gonna be flowing
4
00:00:08,922 --> 00:00:11,310
- in the wind.
- Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
5
00:00:11,331 --> 00:00:13,216
- That wasn't racist, was it?
- She had s--that's a good one.
6
00:00:13,238 --> 00:00:14,338
- It was a little.
- Okay, well.
7
00:00:14,358 --> 00:00:16,413
- It was a little racist.
- Hey, uh, Dirk to Blaze.
8
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,558
Any sign of what's clogging
the drain, my main man?
9
00:00:18,608 --> 00:00:20,275
Negative, dude.
10
00:00:20,343 --> 00:00:22,377
I do see a barbeque
down here, though,
11
00:00:22,445 --> 00:00:25,614
and a suitcase
full of your clothes.
12
00:00:25,682 --> 00:00:28,183
I'm almost to the drain.
It's 2 meters.
13
00:00:28,251 --> 00:00:30,052
How's the air quality
down there?
14
00:00:30,119 --> 00:00:32,054
It's okay, it's all right.
15
00:00:32,121 --> 00:00:35,190
But I could use
a blow of the dro, sir.
16
00:00:35,207 --> 00:00:38,009
Blowing dro.
17
00:00:38,127 --> 00:00:40,562
He's blowing
dro now. Over.
18
00:00:41,105 --> 00:00:44,193
I just blew the dro.
Blew the dro.
19
00:00:44,636 --> 00:00:46,223
Hey, Blaze, come on, man.
20
00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:48,083
Any sign of what's clogging
the drain?
21
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:51,597
That's affirmative.
There's something...
22
00:00:51,646 --> 00:00:56,416
Oh, my God, guys!
23
00:00:56,596 --> 00:00:59,911
You're not gonna believe this.
24
00:01:04,354 --> 00:01:06,521
♪ I'm fresh
25
00:01:06,589 --> 00:01:08,190
♪ You gotta you gotta ♪
26
00:01:08,258 --> 00:01:12,160
- ♪ You gotta, gotta
- ♪ Gotta be fresh
27
00:01:13,421 --> 00:01:16,890
Gentledudes, before you lies
a fierce beast
28
00:01:16,931 --> 00:01:20,019
known to suck the brains
out of humans and goats,
29
00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:22,852
driven from their habitat
during the construction
30
00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:25,334
of the Rancho Garden Mall
in '98.
31
00:01:25,408 --> 00:01:28,154
Heck, the scientists
thought they moved up north.
32
00:01:28,397 --> 00:01:30,471
But I had
a different hypothesis.
33
00:01:30,569 --> 00:01:32,379
Looks like I was right.
34
00:01:32,582 --> 00:01:36,818
I give you...
The Rancho Chupacabraj.
35
00:01:36,886 --> 00:01:39,449
No, that is definitely
our neighbor Mark's dog ambush.
36
00:01:39,498 --> 00:01:42,423
Covered in some of your hair
and possibly jizz.
37
00:01:42,460 --> 00:01:45,762
Not mine, though.
38
00:01:48,965 --> 00:01:50,766
It's a Chupacabraj.
39
00:01:50,833 --> 00:01:53,502
I can't believe you're
carrying around a dead animal.
40
00:01:53,569 --> 00:01:56,132
Well, I can't just leave
this priceless artifact at home.
41
00:01:56,151 --> 00:01:58,401
What happens if, like,
Nicolas Cage rolls
44
00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:04,414
- We need some, like, pool toys.
- Yes.
45
00:02:04,430 --> 00:02:05,663
Chicks are like cats, dude.
46
00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:06,988
If you don't keep
their attention,
47
00:02:07,016 --> 00:02:10,018
they'll wait for--on--
on top of the refrigerator.
48
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:11,586
- Yep.
- Welcome, gentlemen,
49
00:02:11,654 --> 00:02:14,389
to Tez's summer
blowout special.
50
00:02:14,457 --> 00:02:17,759
I got everything you need.
Games for the Dreamcast,
51
00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:20,595
Playstation One,
and free smoovies.
52
00:02:20,663 --> 00:02:22,931
'Cause white folks
love smoovies.
53
00:02:22,999 --> 00:02:24,199
- Smoovies?
- That's what I said.
54
00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,668
- Smoovies.
- With a "v"?
55
00:02:26,736 --> 00:02:28,737
Smoothies!
Wait, what do y'all want?
56
00:02:28,805 --> 00:02:31,340
We're actually looking
for pool toys and whatnot
57
00:02:31,407 --> 00:02:32,941
- and what have you.
- Pool toys.
58
00:02:33,009 --> 00:02:35,677
Let me check my inven--
you know what?
59
00:02:35,745 --> 00:02:38,180
Can I interest you boys
in some straw cowboy hats?
60
00:02:38,247 --> 00:02:39,414
Oh, that's a great idea.
61
00:02:39,482 --> 00:02:41,049
Whenever chicks
wear straw cowboy hats,
62
00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:44,386
they turn into sex cattle, man.
And cowgirl butts...
63
00:02:44,454 --> 00:02:47,956
- Just get my thing hard.
- Mm-hmm.
64
00:02:48,024 --> 00:02:49,758
Could you just show us
to the pool supplies?
65
00:02:49,826 --> 00:02:51,126
All right,
it's or this way, and--
66
00:02:51,194 --> 00:02:53,762
Waymond, you touch it,
you bought it.
67
00:02:53,830 --> 00:02:55,986
Come on.
68
00:02:57,268 --> 00:02:59,636
He has the Space Jam
soundtrack.
69
00:02:59,916 --> 00:03:02,118
Whoa, dudes, check this out.
70
00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:04,923
Damn!
71
00:03:04,941 --> 00:03:06,575
- Aw, yeah.
- What?
72
00:03:06,642 --> 00:03:08,377
That's the hover beast
hovercraft.
73
00:03:08,444 --> 00:03:11,246
Colleen won that
in a Tropicana bikini contest.
74
00:03:11,314 --> 00:03:14,950
150 horsepower engine.
Four-blade warp drive prop.
75
00:03:15,017 --> 00:03:18,120
- And it's all yours for $500.
- Dude.
76
00:03:18,187 --> 00:03:20,622
If we get this thing, man,
it'll vault our party
77
00:03:20,690 --> 00:03:23,658
into the most awesomest maximus
event of the summer.
78
00:03:23,726 --> 00:03:25,327
- Ah, brain freeze.
- Montez Walker
79
00:03:25,395 --> 00:03:26,995
- on the invite list?
- Never.
80
00:03:27,156 --> 00:03:30,990
How about I give you $200?
81
00:03:31,004 --> 00:03:33,060
Y'all talk about that.
82
00:03:33,106 --> 00:03:35,354
No, no, no, no, no.
We can't spend that much money,
83
00:03:35,422 --> 00:03:36,815
because then we won't
have enough money
84
00:03:36,827 --> 00:03:39,153
for the cowboy hats, and if
we don't have cowboy hats,
85
00:03:39,183 --> 00:03:40,933
how am I gonna
save a horse, ride a cowgirl?
86
00:03:40,964 --> 00:03:43,158
If we have a hovercraft,
we don't need cowboy hats.
87
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:45,013
- Yeah.
- Hovercrafts are aphrodisiacs.
88
00:03:45,044 --> 00:03:47,388
They're basically...
oysters of the ocean.
89
00:03:47,425 --> 00:03:48,188
Yummy.
90
00:03:48,216 --> 00:03:50,197
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Plus, you know what?
91
00:03:50,217 --> 00:03:53,479
We could charge people money
to ride on the hovercraft
92
00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:56,426
and also money to take pictures
with the Chupacabraj.
93
00:03:56,468 --> 00:03:58,369
At this point now,
we're making money.
94
00:03:58,462 --> 00:03:59,963
We're making money
off our party.
95
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:03,451
Guys, we could just buy it
and return it next week.
96
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:07,287
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
I heard that.
97
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,607
No refunds around here.
98
00:04:09,674 --> 00:04:13,344
- All sales final.
- How did he hear that?
99
00:04:13,411 --> 00:04:16,347
$450, plus you throw in
100
00:04:16,414 --> 00:04:18,682
all the straw cowboy hats
we can eat, and that's a deal.
101
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:22,486
And whatever's in arm's reach.
102
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,989
- And this--this suit.
- Whoa, cool!
103
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,256
- Sold!
- Okay!
104
00:04:26,324 --> 00:04:27,825
- Yes!
- But you be careful
105
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:29,393
in that suit.
It's powerful.
106
00:04:29,461 --> 00:04:31,295
It makes women just...
107
00:04:31,363 --> 00:04:32,863
They just
108
00:04:32,931 --> 00:04:35,032
Waymond! Get over here
and get a sendoff picture
109
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,034
- like we at the Saturn dealer.
- There we go.
110
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:39,870
- All right.
- Charge that to the game.
111
00:04:39,938 --> 00:04:42,106
Cool.
112
00:04:42,173 --> 00:04:43,540
All right, Ders,
fire this puppy up.
113
00:04:43,608 --> 00:04:44,775
- Whoo!
- You got it!
114
00:04:44,843 --> 00:04:46,043
Here we go.
115
00:04:46,111 --> 00:04:48,512
- Land-ho!
- Ahoy!
116
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:51,715
Oh, captain,
this is going down!
117
00:04:51,783 --> 00:04:53,150
I don't like
when your mom visits.
118
00:04:53,218 --> 00:04:54,551
She's always flirting with me.
119
00:04:54,619 --> 00:04:55,953
She's got those
big titties like you.
120
00:04:56,021 --> 00:04:59,390
- No sale!
- What in the is going--
121
00:04:59,457 --> 00:05:01,801
We want our $450 back,
122
00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,313
because the hovercraft
you sold us
123
00:05:03,361 --> 00:05:05,646
catches fire way too easily.
124
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,181
I told y'all no refunds.
125
00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:09,279
Ain't that right,
way-way?
126
00:05:09,349 --> 00:05:11,450
- He heard me.
- We don't want refunds.
127
00:05:11,481 --> 00:05:13,562
We want our money back
so we can buy a hovercraft
128
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:14,656
that actually flies.
129
00:05:14,728 --> 00:05:15,994
- Mm-hmm.
- In the water.
130
00:05:16,084 --> 00:05:17,651
- Wat--water flight.
- Mm-hmm.
131
00:05:17,719 --> 00:05:19,519
Yeah, that's right.
Our pool party's ruined.
132
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,221
Now it's just guys
with cowboy hats
133
00:05:21,289 --> 00:05:23,390
squirting each other.
That's bad.
134
00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,559
- And?
- Well...
135
00:05:25,627 --> 00:05:29,396
We'll sue you. We'll take
everything you've got.
136
00:05:29,464 --> 00:05:31,131
- That's a really good idea.
- Thanks.
137
00:05:31,199 --> 00:05:32,566
That's why he's the brains
of the operation.
138
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:34,368
You want to get
judge Joe Brown on it?
139
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,136
You want some judge Judy
up your booty?
140
00:05:36,204 --> 00:05:37,671
You better lawyer up.
141
00:05:37,739 --> 00:05:40,040
- You better lawyer up.
- ♪ Lawyer up
142
00:05:40,108 --> 00:05:42,910
- ♪ You better lawyer up!
- There's no lawyers
143
00:05:42,977 --> 00:05:44,711
- in small claims court.
- What?
144
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,147
- Then lawyer down, okay?
- Yeah, so lawyer down.
145
00:05:47,215 --> 00:05:49,416
You know what? We're gonna
see you in court, man.
146
00:05:49,484 --> 00:05:51,151
- See you there.
- No, we will.
147
00:05:51,219 --> 00:05:52,786
- We'll see you in court.
- Oh, well, bring it.
148
00:05:52,854 --> 00:05:54,054
Yeah, fine, we will bring it.
149
00:05:54,122 --> 00:05:55,489
- Fine, then.
- Mm.
150
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,257
Yo, what the
you did right there?
151
00:05:57,325 --> 00:05:58,725
That's my cactus!
152
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,394
You want to go
in the garbage can?
153
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,929
- Sorry.
- Sorry, Jet Set.
154
00:06:01,996 --> 00:06:03,664
We thought it was his cactus.
We didn't know.
155
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,465
Now y'all get out of my house.
156
00:06:05,507 --> 00:06:06,589
Have a good day.
157
00:06:06,628 --> 00:06:11,319
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for DEMAND by antibio
158
00:06:15,568 --> 00:06:16,802
Move it along, people.
159
00:06:16,869 --> 00:06:18,704
We got a big-time lawyer
coming through.
160
00:06:18,771 --> 00:06:20,138
Guys, I applied to law school.
161
00:06:20,206 --> 00:06:21,840
I didn't even
get accepted anywhere.
162
00:06:21,908 --> 00:06:24,276
Well, that's not true.
You got accepted in our hearts.
163
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:27,312
No homo, pro bono.
That's a lawyer term, right?
164
00:06:27,380 --> 00:06:29,314
I'm gonna say it again.
I have no idea.
165
00:06:29,382 --> 00:06:31,049
I don't know.
I don't know.
166
00:06:31,117 --> 00:06:32,884
I don't understand
how you don't know,
167
00:06:32,952 --> 00:06:35,520
because you've seen every
episode of Franklin & Bash.
168
00:06:35,588 --> 00:06:37,022
- Who hasn't?
- That's true.
169
00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:38,457
That's a good show.
Really good show.
170
00:06:38,524 --> 00:06:41,526
Ders, you have a briefcase.
Use that.
171
00:06:41,594 --> 00:06:43,195
I do have a briefcase.
172
00:06:43,262 --> 00:06:45,964
We bought a hovercraft
for a party that we can't have.
173
00:06:46,032 --> 00:06:47,466
You know how sad that makes me?
174
00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:51,436
- Lawyer the sadness away.
- I will, man.
175
00:06:51,504 --> 00:06:54,806
- This your bag?
- Uh, yes, sir, it is.
176
00:06:54,874 --> 00:06:56,374
- That was salty.
- I'm gonna have to search it.
177
00:06:56,442 --> 00:06:58,944
Oh, uh, yeah, go ahead.
178
00:06:59,011 --> 00:07:01,213
- Sure, yeah, of course.
- Oh, damn!
179
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,281
Yeah, pretty freaky, right?
It's a, uh--
180
00:07:03,349 --> 00:07:05,617
It's actually
a Rancho Chupacabraj.
181
00:07:05,685 --> 00:07:08,353
Uh, but I have to take it
with me. It's evidence in a...
182
00:07:08,421 --> 00:07:13,892
Uh... well, a--a dude having sex
with a Chupacabraj case, so...
183
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,794
- Get out of here.
- All right.
184
00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:17,796
- Thanks, sir.
- He found it covered in jizz.
185
00:07:17,864 --> 00:07:20,632
We're not sure what--animal jizz
or human jizz, we're not sure.
186
00:07:25,271 --> 00:07:26,738
You've all been sworn in.
187
00:07:26,806 --> 00:07:28,473
Gentlemen, I've read
your complaint.
188
00:07:28,541 --> 00:07:31,042
Do you have anything to add
other than your claim
189
00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:32,677
of boat fraud
in the first degree,
190
00:07:32,745 --> 00:07:35,447
which I'd like to point out
is not real thing?
191
00:07:35,515 --> 00:07:37,382
Well, we're here to prove
that it is, your honor.
192
00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:40,118
If I may, I'm gonna stand.
193
00:07:40,186 --> 00:07:42,187
I'd like to, uh,
address the jury here.
194
00:07:42,255 --> 00:07:45,490
Uh, plaintiff, uh,
this isn't a jury trial.
195
00:07:45,558 --> 00:07:46,792
They're here
awaiting their cases.
196
00:07:46,859 --> 00:07:48,894
- These people?
- Uh-huh.
197
00:07:48,961 --> 00:07:50,896
Thank you, judge Tibbles.
198
00:07:50,963 --> 00:07:52,798
Ladies and gentlemen
of the esteemed court,
199
00:07:52,865 --> 00:07:55,734
two dudes with some
bodacious ponytails.
200
00:07:55,802 --> 00:07:58,470
- 22 inches and counting.
- Dude.
201
00:07:58,538 --> 00:08:00,505
This is 19 inches.
It's longer than yours.
202
00:08:00,573 --> 00:08:01,807
- No, it's not.
- I measured it
203
00:08:01,874 --> 00:08:03,241
- from the base up here.
- I measured it
204
00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:04,709
from the top of my forehead.
205
00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:08,513
I have but one word:
206
00:08:08,581 --> 00:08:11,983
"Justice."
Right?
207
00:08:12,051 --> 00:08:14,085
Just. Us.
208
00:08:14,153 --> 00:08:16,221
It's just us
on this planet earth.
209
00:08:16,289 --> 00:08:18,223
We're alone, so...
210
00:08:18,291 --> 00:08:20,492
We need to trust each other.
211
00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,062
Trust. Us.
212
00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:26,331
Rhymes, so you know
that it's real.
213
00:08:26,399 --> 00:08:30,035
Which brings me
to the question...
214
00:08:30,102 --> 00:08:32,704
Are we human...
215
00:08:32,772 --> 00:08:35,841
Or are we dancers?
216
00:08:35,908 --> 00:08:37,676
Plaintiff, is there any
additional evidence
217
00:08:37,743 --> 00:08:39,544
besides
the defective hovercraft?
218
00:08:39,612 --> 00:08:41,246
No, but look,
I was having a good time.
219
00:08:41,314 --> 00:08:43,415
The problem is that this guy
sold us a bunk hovercraft,
220
00:08:43,482 --> 00:08:45,183
and now we're gonna have
a sausage fest
221
00:08:45,251 --> 00:08:47,185
with no bikinis
and no straw cowboy hats,
222
00:08:47,253 --> 00:08:48,753
and I don't think
you're being fair.
223
00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,322
This isn't fair.
224
00:08:50,389 --> 00:08:52,858
Mr. Walker, how do you respond
to the accusation?
225
00:08:52,925 --> 00:08:57,362
Your honor, I know your time
is valuable, so I will be brief.
226
00:08:57,430 --> 00:09:00,398
Um, this here
is a textbook witch hunt--
227
00:09:00,466 --> 00:09:03,668
- How's he sound so real?
- That will clearly exonerate me
228
00:09:03,736 --> 00:09:07,172
from all these prejudicious
and unfair charges.
229
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,807
This isn't a race thing, sir.
230
00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:10,475
- May I approach the bench?
- Proceed.
231
00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:12,244
- He knows exactly...
- You're dumb.
232
00:09:12,311 --> 00:09:15,413
Your honor, as you can see,
in nine separate locations,
233
00:09:15,481 --> 00:09:18,884
in accordance with
our great law, is my signs.
234
00:09:18,951 --> 00:09:21,386
Ders, why aren't you
using the briefcase?
235
00:09:21,454 --> 00:09:22,921
There's nothing
inside the briefcase
236
00:09:22,989 --> 00:09:25,257
except for golf pencils
and baseball cards,
237
00:09:25,324 --> 00:09:26,925
and slim Jim dare.
238
00:09:26,993 --> 00:09:28,760
Slim Jim dare really
freaking hot beef jerky,
239
00:09:28,828 --> 00:09:30,495
and you didn't
give us any of that.
240
00:09:30,563 --> 00:09:32,179
This is the jalapeno kind,
and you didn't give--
241
00:09:32,198 --> 00:09:33,973
- You didn't even think--
- Gentlemen, please.
242
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:36,907
This is a court of law.
It's not a feeding trough.
243
00:09:36,938 --> 00:09:39,440
I had one.
I had--this one was out.
244
00:09:39,658 --> 00:09:42,211
- I just--okay.
- No, no, dude, dude, come on.
245
00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:44,010
I think you're making
a very good case here.
246
00:09:44,035 --> 00:09:45,817
Okay, Ders's lawyering
didn't work,
247
00:09:45,859 --> 00:09:49,028
so it's time for me
to do some liar-ing.
248
00:09:50,327 --> 00:09:52,028
- I'm gonna lie.
- Oh, cool.
249
00:09:52,096 --> 00:09:53,556
Your honor,
250
00:09:53,686 --> 00:09:57,722
I do declare
that we have a star witness
251
00:09:57,790 --> 00:10:01,359
that we would like
to call to the stand.
252
00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:05,002
- To the what?
- To the stand.
253
00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,642
I don't understand
the word you're saying.
254
00:10:06,662 --> 00:10:08,848
To the stand, to the stand.
255
00:10:08,913 --> 00:10:11,464
And we all were just
screaming, "Montez, stop,"
256
00:10:11,482 --> 00:10:14,725
and he just continued
to squeeze the life
257
00:10:14,756 --> 00:10:16,957
out of the poor little
girl scout's dalmatian.
258
00:10:16,970 --> 00:10:20,139
- It was--it was disgusting.
- What?
259
00:10:20,159 --> 00:10:22,326
- Can we get back to the case?
- Your honor.
260
00:10:22,394 --> 00:10:24,662
We are just here to tell
the truth, the whole truth,
261
00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:26,831
and nothing but the truth
about a vile
262
00:10:26,899 --> 00:10:30,334
and disgusting man who
was trying to ruin our party.
263
00:10:30,402 --> 00:10:32,503
Could you use
your regular voice, please?
264
00:10:32,571 --> 00:10:34,005
This young lady
265
00:10:34,073 --> 00:10:35,773
knows where I'm coming from,
266
00:10:35,841 --> 00:10:38,409
- don't you, doll?
- Huh?
267
00:10:38,477 --> 00:10:40,078
Do you like pool parties, miss?
268
00:10:40,145 --> 00:10:41,412
Yeah.
269
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,514
And are you available
this Saturday,
270
00:10:43,582 --> 00:10:47,752
and may I remind you
you are under oath?
271
00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:50,855
I guess I don't have any plans.
272
00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,457
Can we get back
to the case please?
273
00:10:52,524 --> 00:10:54,125
Your honor,
I'm just making sure
274
00:10:54,193 --> 00:10:57,662
that everybody in here
is being truthful,
275
00:10:57,729 --> 00:11:02,133
such as myself holding on
to my nine-inch lap-hog,
276
00:11:02,201 --> 00:11:06,838
which must be a true thing
since I am also under oath.
277
00:11:06,905 --> 00:11:08,906
Uh, yeah, we all
have really big dongs.
278
00:11:08,974 --> 00:11:10,808
- I swear on a stack of bibles.
- My dick's big.
279
00:11:10,876 --> 00:11:14,078
I believe we've had enough
lap-hog talk for one lifetime.
280
00:11:14,146 --> 00:11:15,813
I'm sorry, your honor.
Did you guys see
281
00:11:15,881 --> 00:11:18,983
the "No refund" signs
at the garage sale, or no?
282
00:11:19,051 --> 00:11:20,518
I certainly
did not see a sign--
283
00:11:20,586 --> 00:11:23,654
- That is a lie!
- I should warn you gentlemen
284
00:11:23,722 --> 00:11:26,324
that perjury laws
are swift and severe.
285
00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:29,694
Mm-hmm, swift willy style,
all in there.
286
00:11:29,761 --> 00:11:31,429
You may sit down.
287
00:11:31,497 --> 00:11:33,331
Does the defense
have any response?
288
00:11:33,398 --> 00:11:36,267
Yes, I do.
I also have a star witness
289
00:11:36,335 --> 00:11:37,702
who can prove
beyond a reasonable doubt
290
00:11:37,769 --> 00:11:39,537
that these sucker-necks
are lying.
291
00:11:39,605 --> 00:11:43,541
Defense calls Waymond Womano.
292
00:11:43,609 --> 00:11:45,143
Oh, [Bleep], this is bad.
293
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:46,811
He saw everything.
We can't let him testify.
294
00:11:46,879 --> 00:11:48,513
If he testifies, we're gonna go
to jail for perjury.
295
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:51,549
- You should've told me that.
- I thought you knew.
296
00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:54,118
I choose to accept
this mission.
297
00:11:54,186 --> 00:11:56,020
Uh...
298
00:12:00,459 --> 00:12:02,860
State your name
for the court record, please.
299
00:12:02,928 --> 00:12:04,795
What the heck's that?
300
00:12:07,499 --> 00:12:08,833
What the...
301
00:12:08,901 --> 00:12:10,067
What the hell?
302
00:12:10,135 --> 00:12:11,869
Court is adjourned
till tomorrow.
303
00:12:11,937 --> 00:12:13,804
Yeah.
304
00:12:13,872 --> 00:12:16,574
Adjourning's the best.
Obviously we're adjourning
305
00:12:16,642 --> 00:12:18,576
'cause you have rats
in your vents.
306
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,197
That's the first smart thing
you done all day.
307
00:12:20,222 --> 00:12:21,522
You're at the courthouse.
308
00:12:21,543 --> 00:12:23,224
Y'all slick, you're real slick.
309
00:12:23,248 --> 00:12:24,749
I know y'all threw
that dookie bag.
310
00:12:24,816 --> 00:12:27,251
But we back tomorrow,
and Waymond is pissed.
311
00:12:27,319 --> 00:12:29,320
You messed up his church shoes,
and look at my good suit.
312
00:12:29,388 --> 00:12:30,888
How about we settle
out of court?
313
00:12:30,956 --> 00:12:32,390
You know, we'll take you
to Ruby Tuesday's,
314
00:12:32,457 --> 00:12:34,192
we'll buy you
a root-beer and a burger.
315
00:12:34,259 --> 00:12:36,294
The only thing y'all
gonna be eating is ass salad.
316
00:12:36,361 --> 00:12:39,530
Talking about prison
for in and around 30 days.
317
00:12:39,554 --> 00:12:41,021
Good luck.
318
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:42,867
Oh, man, we're going to jail,
319
00:12:42,897 --> 00:12:45,947
and I never got to Eiffel Tower
a chick with one of you guys.
320
00:12:45,981 --> 00:12:47,857
We're not gonna go to jail
if Waymond doesn't testify.
321
00:12:47,881 --> 00:12:48,948
Oh, we're eating
ass salad, man.
322
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,448
I'm gonna have
a big bowl of ass salad.
323
00:12:51,491 --> 00:12:54,262
You heard Tez.
Waymond's snitching tomorrow.
324
00:12:54,501 --> 00:12:56,420
Not we get to him tonight.
325
00:13:08,994 --> 00:13:10,528
Shut up, stay right there!
326
00:13:10,596 --> 00:13:12,797
- And drive!
- Whoops! Hey!
327
00:13:12,864 --> 00:13:14,832
Don't talk though.
Don't talk though.
328
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:23,511
Waymond Womano,
we can't be responsible
329
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:26,011
for what happens if you show up
in court tomorrow.
330
00:13:26,161 --> 00:13:30,531
But we can be very responsible
if you--
331
00:13:30,549 --> 00:13:32,793
if you don't... do that.
332
00:13:32,821 --> 00:13:35,473
Yeah, stick your hand
in this bag.
333
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:39,418
Do it! You feel that?
Those are the eyeballs of kids
334
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,086
that we plucked
out of their heads!
335
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,288
And this?
This is intestines.
336
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,856
No, Blake.
We're, uh--
337
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:47,960
Dude #1, we told you
he's not blindfolded.
338
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:50,862
He's not blindfolded.
He can see that it's spaghetti.
339
00:13:50,930 --> 00:13:55,434
Well, this is spaghetti
that a dude was eating,
340
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,869
- but we killed him.
- Yeah!
341
00:13:57,937 --> 00:13:59,471
And we'll kill you too.
342
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,274
- Yeah, we killed his ass.
- Are you ready to die?
343
00:14:02,511 --> 00:14:03,811
Oh, that's the game
you want to play?
344
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:05,614
- Oh, okay.
- Dig your own grave, bud.
345
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,248
Yeah, dig the fricking grave,
346
00:14:07,316 --> 00:14:09,785
you marshmallow-looking
mother.
347
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,290
- What?
- Heh, heh...
348
00:14:15,358 --> 00:14:17,592
- Little help?
- Oh.
349
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:18,994
- Just throw--hurry up.
- Yeah.
350
00:14:19,061 --> 00:14:21,280
- Go falcons!
- Thank you.
351
00:14:21,384 --> 00:14:23,385
Hey, nice arm.
352
00:14:24,278 --> 00:14:25,878
It's a shovel, not a broom.
353
00:14:25,902 --> 00:14:27,769
- Come on, jeez.
- That's what you got?
354
00:14:27,837 --> 00:14:30,605
Harder. He's throwing it
on his shoe--shoes.
355
00:14:30,673 --> 00:14:33,441
You really suck at this.
He sucks at this.
356
00:14:33,509 --> 00:14:35,310
Jesus Christ, you're horrible.
357
00:14:35,378 --> 00:14:36,745
I'm actually
not very good either.
358
00:14:36,813 --> 00:14:37,979
Well, you're holding
the spaghetti.
359
00:14:38,047 --> 00:14:39,915
We told you not
to bring the spaghetti.
360
00:14:39,982 --> 00:14:41,845
I'm gonna go
get some more shovels.
361
00:14:41,877 --> 00:14:42,659
Yeah.
362
00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:44,319
I'm actually really proud
of us, guys.
363
00:14:44,387 --> 00:14:46,075
This hole
is freaking impressive.
364
00:14:46,093 --> 00:14:47,963
- It's crazy.
- Whoa, dude, look,
365
00:14:47,975 --> 00:14:50,151
you're gonna kill yourself
if you don't start lifting
366
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:51,760
with your body
instead of your arm muscles.
367
00:14:51,828 --> 00:14:53,762
Well, my arm muscles
are my body, Ders.
368
00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:55,480
In fact, I think
they're most of it.
369
00:14:55,498 --> 00:14:57,903
I think we can all agree
that the most important thing
370
00:14:57,934 --> 00:14:59,601
to do is come
from the top here.
371
00:14:59,643 --> 00:15:01,116
- Yeah.
- Because all the leverage
372
00:15:01,122 --> 00:15:02,322
when you're going--ow!
373
00:15:02,632 --> 00:15:03,632
- Aah!
- Wait, what happened?
374
00:15:03,649 --> 00:15:05,349
- I think...
- What happened?
375
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,999
- Splinter.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
376
00:15:07,026 --> 00:15:08,855
That's painful, that's painful,
that's very painful.
377
00:15:08,911 --> 00:15:10,745
Waymond? Waymond?
Wait, Waymond!
378
00:15:10,813 --> 00:15:12,480
- Waymond!
- Waymond!
379
00:15:12,548 --> 00:15:16,451
Waymond, wait, wait!
Maybe we went too far!
380
00:15:16,519 --> 00:15:18,687
Uh, we were just trying
to scare you out of testifying.
381
00:15:18,754 --> 00:15:20,155
It's us, the bull boys!
382
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,424
Well, we shouldn't have
let him wait
383
00:15:22,491 --> 00:15:25,160
- in the car to get warm.
- Really boner move on our part.
384
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,995
Yeah, now we're gonna
go to prison for perjury.
385
00:15:27,063 --> 00:15:28,797
- And liar-ing even.
- Oh, man.
386
00:15:28,865 --> 00:15:33,134
Hot dudes like us do not do well
in prison, guys.
387
00:15:33,202 --> 00:15:36,805
We are like three fresh meat
butt sticks just waiting
388
00:15:36,873 --> 00:15:40,242
- for a dry rub.
- Oh, God, Blake's right.
389
00:15:40,309 --> 00:15:42,577
His American Idol hairdo,
your norse-ness.
390
00:15:42,645 --> 00:15:46,114
My pecs, my hammies.
My gluts, man!
391
00:15:46,182 --> 00:15:47,916
They're just waiting
for a good dicking.
392
00:15:47,984 --> 00:15:49,851
- Oh, we're gonna get pounded.
- Maybe, like,
393
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:51,486
over time, it, like--
it gets okay.
394
00:15:51,554 --> 00:15:53,488
It's just skin
after all, right?
395
00:15:53,556 --> 00:15:55,156
- What?
- I don't know.
396
00:15:55,224 --> 00:15:57,158
I'm just trying to be, like,
a "glass half full" guy.
397
00:15:57,226 --> 00:16:00,061
You're gonna have an ass
half full of prison.
398
00:16:00,129 --> 00:16:01,296
So what should we do right now?
399
00:16:01,364 --> 00:16:02,764
Should we go get hamburgers?
400
00:16:02,832 --> 00:16:04,766
Eat a bunch of hamburgers
right now and get fat?
401
00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:07,159
So the dudes won't want
to butt-fun us?
402
00:16:07,215 --> 00:16:09,185
- We'll get fat, we'll get ugly.
- We have to beat the pretty
403
00:16:09,216 --> 00:16:10,493
out of each other.
404
00:16:10,545 --> 00:16:12,613
All right, well,
how do we go about doing that?
405
00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:15,137
I don't know. What do you say,
we count to three,
406
00:16:15,162 --> 00:16:18,037
and all, like, just punch
each other, same time?
407
00:16:18,055 --> 00:16:19,244
- To the right?
- Yeah, to the right.
408
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:20,742
I don't want
to call you guys bitches,
409
00:16:20,766 --> 00:16:23,537
but you guys are bitches.
410
00:16:23,994 --> 00:16:25,051
You're bitches.
411
00:16:25,095 --> 00:16:27,625
You guys wouldn't be able to
hurt me, my face is very hard.
412
00:16:27,733 --> 00:16:31,017
Growing up, all the bullies
were, like, "Holy, man.
413
00:16:31,068 --> 00:16:32,402
- Your face so hard."
- Right.
414
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,032
"It hurts my hand
when I punch."
415
00:16:34,066 --> 00:16:35,808
I need something
much harder to hit it.
416
00:16:35,865 --> 00:16:39,383
- Whoa! Uh...
- Dude, whoa.
417
00:16:39,497 --> 00:16:41,213
- You want me to blast you?
- No, no, no.
418
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,074
Let's just, uh,
we'll tell him we fought.
419
00:16:43,129 --> 00:16:44,911
- No, yeah, good--good call.
- You all right, man?
420
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,057
Adam, Adam, you okay?
421
00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,287
- Adam.
- Sorry.
422
00:16:47,322 --> 00:16:49,891
Come on, okay, oh...
423
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,385
Did I get you?
Did I get you good?
424
00:16:51,404 --> 00:16:52,771
- Did I get you good?
- Uh, no.
425
00:16:52,838 --> 00:16:55,306
But Ders got me a--
a cracked rib for sure.
426
00:16:55,374 --> 00:16:57,275
We fought, and, uh,
Blake curbed me.
427
00:16:57,343 --> 00:16:58,662
- Just destroyed my face.
- Yeah, twice.
428
00:16:58,714 --> 00:17:00,724
I can see that.
I can see that.
429
00:17:00,807 --> 00:17:02,241
You look bad, dude.
You look bad.
430
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:03,848
- Okay, let's--
- You look bad, dude.
431
00:17:03,916 --> 00:17:05,483
- This way.
- This--yeah.
432
00:17:05,551 --> 00:17:07,393
- Let's go home.
- Whoo!
433
00:17:07,513 --> 00:17:09,506
Oh, great,
the sun's coming up soon.
434
00:17:09,626 --> 00:17:11,875
Guess we'll be walking
straight to the courthouse.
435
00:17:20,449 --> 00:17:22,350
Hey, guys, when the judge
reads our sentences,
436
00:17:22,418 --> 00:17:24,519
- just don't cry.
- Yeah, definitely.
437
00:17:24,586 --> 00:17:25,967
Band of brajs, we got this.
438
00:17:26,019 --> 00:17:27,737
Does it smell
like burnt tires in here?
439
00:17:27,779 --> 00:17:29,386
Smell, like, a little
like something's burning?
440
00:17:29,414 --> 00:17:30,658
- No.
- Nice of you
441
00:17:30,676 --> 00:17:32,610
- to join us, gentlemen.
- Sorry, your honor,
442
00:17:32,678 --> 00:17:35,780
but took a one-and-a-half
in my pants on the elevator.
443
00:17:35,848 --> 00:17:37,949
Yes, that, uh,
definitely happened,
444
00:17:38,017 --> 00:17:39,951
but we won't bother you
with our whole morning.
445
00:17:40,019 --> 00:17:41,653
- No, uh...
- That's why we're late,
446
00:17:41,721 --> 00:17:43,424
'cause I-I-I
and pissed my pants--
447
00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:45,516
- Adam, don't.
448
00:17:45,658 --> 00:17:46,958
We're ready
to take responsibility
449
00:17:47,026 --> 00:17:49,594
for whatever Waymond
told you we did.
450
00:17:49,662 --> 00:17:52,097
Before Mr. Womano testifies,
I understand that he has
451
00:17:52,164 --> 00:17:55,533
some physical evidence that may
be pertinent to this case.
452
00:17:55,601 --> 00:17:57,669
I got pictures of y'all
in front of my signs.
453
00:17:57,737 --> 00:18:00,338
You gonna fry.
Some ass salad.
454
00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:10,913
I mean...
455
00:18:12,305 --> 00:18:14,567
Whoo, wow, I'm hairy.
456
00:18:14,605 --> 00:18:16,499
I fail to see the relevance
of any of this.
457
00:18:16,854 --> 00:18:19,289
Sir, my wife Colleen
is taking a photography class
458
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:22,209
at the learning annex and
she needed a sexy model, so...
459
00:18:22,283 --> 00:18:23,651
Just move ahead
at your discretion.
460
00:18:24,743 --> 00:18:27,168
Oh, bam!
There it is!
461
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,593
Well, would you look at that?
Seems like Mr. Walker's
462
00:18:29,611 --> 00:18:31,445
been telling the truth
the whole time.
463
00:18:31,526 --> 00:18:34,061
Oh, this one has a little
"play" icon in the corner.
464
00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:36,473
Shall I play it and see
what we can surmise from this?
465
00:18:38,978 --> 00:18:42,871
Did you see Monteezy
work his magic?
466
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:44,981
I sold these fools
a broke-ass hovercraft.
467
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,174
That's what they get for never
inviting me to their parties.
468
00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:49,725
Now let's go get
some tacos and free smoothies.
469
00:18:50,418 --> 00:18:52,235
You're killing me, Waymond!
470
00:18:52,986 --> 00:18:54,500
After reviewing the evidence,
471
00:18:54,518 --> 00:18:57,356
the court finds
in favor of the plaintiffs.
472
00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:59,895
The defendant is ordered
to pay repair costs
473
00:18:59,925 --> 00:19:01,831
in their entirety.
474
00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:03,825
Did you just see the video?
475
00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:05,682
You won, gentlemen.
476
00:19:06,481 --> 00:19:08,487
- What? Oh!
- We won?
477
00:19:08,641 --> 00:19:09,841
- Whoo!
- We did it!
478
00:19:09,909 --> 00:19:12,610
Whoo, we won!
We won!
479
00:19:12,678 --> 00:19:15,847
Whoo, this party sucks!
480
00:19:15,915 --> 00:19:19,617
All right, a maniac,
I like it, very cool.
481
00:19:19,653 --> 00:19:22,444
Hey, don't be shy, dudes.
Come on up and take a picture
482
00:19:22,488 --> 00:19:26,221
with the picture
of the Rancho Chupacabraj.
483
00:19:26,253 --> 00:19:28,002
Come on, we got one picture
for $10,
484
00:19:28,027 --> 00:19:30,583
two pictures for $5, so...
485
00:19:30,725 --> 00:19:33,660
Just take two. Two.
It's a cheaper deal.
486
00:19:33,766 --> 00:19:36,134
Yo, blaze, any day now.
487
00:19:36,202 --> 00:19:38,058
- Oh, yeah.
- Hey, guys,
488
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,811
I just want to, uh,
take this opportunity
489
00:19:39,837 --> 00:19:43,140
to say welcome to our premier
beach house party of the summer!
490
00:19:43,189 --> 00:19:45,758
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
491
00:19:45,788 --> 00:19:47,607
Okay, you guys don't
seem amped, and I get that.
492
00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:50,668
It's about 98%
to 99% dudes here.
493
00:19:50,686 --> 00:19:51,781
- It's mostly dudes.
- Yeah.
494
00:19:51,812 --> 00:19:54,918
That's okay, though, 'cause
once this bitch gets soaring,
495
00:19:54,987 --> 00:19:57,125
- it's gonna be a chick stampede.
- That's right.
496
00:19:57,149 --> 00:19:59,013
Let's take off those straw
cowboy hats, though,
497
00:19:59,022 --> 00:20:00,355
'cause those
are for the chicks.
498
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,834
- Hey, look!
- Oh! Oh!
499
00:20:01,902 --> 00:20:03,703
- Hey, come in!
- No, no.
500
00:20:03,770 --> 00:20:06,038
- Yeah, yeah, she's with me.
- Let's go, let's go.
501
00:20:06,106 --> 00:20:08,607
this.
502
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:21,120
- Aah!
- Oh...
503
00:20:21,188 --> 00:20:22,788
That was not our fault.
504
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,429
- Oh, fudge.
- That's not our fault.
505
00:20:24,453 --> 00:20:26,454
Oh, my God.
Are you--are you boys okay?
506
00:20:26,472 --> 00:20:28,359
Yeah, if you mean
almost getting decapitated
507
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,630
by your sharp-ass fence,
then yeah. Ow! Ow!
508
00:20:31,673 --> 00:20:33,627
Why is your fence
so sharp, dude?
509
00:20:33,654 --> 00:20:36,354
Are you kidding? You just
drove a boat through my yard.
510
00:20:36,385 --> 00:20:39,139
Well, we'll just have to see
how that holds up
511
00:20:39,182 --> 00:20:41,120
- in small claims court.
- Whoo!
512
00:20:41,141 --> 00:20:45,054
Yeah, that's right.
You better lawyer down, sir.
513
00:20:45,085 --> 00:20:47,493
I am a lawyer.
And with this kind of damage,
514
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,376
I'm gonna bring you
to big boy court.
515
00:20:49,508 --> 00:20:52,770
Well, then,[Bleep], sir.
516
00:20:52,805 --> 00:20:54,639
Nice.
517
00:20:54,757 --> 00:20:59,795
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for DEMAND by antibio
39669
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