All language subtitles for s06e14_-_the_trouble_is_not_in_your_set

Boy, Mac, you know what I hate most
about wearing a cast?

I don't get to wash my hand.

Would you take care of it for me?

I got a million of them.

Sir? I want to officially go on record
as being against having any television

cameras in the courtroom.

Oh, come on, Miss Sullivan. It's a
two-week test program for the city on

some obscure cable channel.

Fine, but why did you have to volunteer
our courtroom for it? Look, I know you

have the power to force us to do this,
but please, just this once, wouldn't you

change your mind?

Okay.

Okay, you'll change your mind? Okay,
I'll force you to.

Come on, Christine, it might be fun. You
see, the secret is to be yourself when

you're on TV.

When were you ever on TV?

Remember that mayor's aide that was
arraigned?

You were on screen for three seconds
when you were walking out of the men's

room. I didn't freeze up, did I?

Guys, which uniform do you think I
should wear on TV tonight?

My hang loose casuals?

Or the formal yet sporty dress blues?

Dress blues will do fine, Bob.

I think you'll be pleased with your
selection.

See? That's exactly what I'm talking
about. The cameras are going to distract

us from doing our job.

All right, who's to hold up? We're
ready. We have a dissenting opinion

regarding our little experiment.

Mr. Maddox, Christina, are we afraid the
camera will accentuate our little flaws?

No. I'm concerned about due process.

Televising trials plants the presumption
of the defendant's guilt in the public

mind. And what flaws are we talking
about?

I think we should give priority to the
duty at hand and put aside any thoughts

of vanity.

Ready for your makeup, Dad?

Now, what I want to do is I want to go
with a deep tan, and then I set a power

eyebrow. I'm telling you, I think the
program is going to demystify the

process and show people how the system
works.

I think it's a mistake. Any time you set
up a camera, the scene turns into a

circus. Not in my courtroom.

Fielding, I have to tell you, these last
two weeks in front of the camera have

done wonders for your runoff campaign.

Dan Fielding, State Assemblyman. I'd
like the ring of that.

Of course, as your media consultant, I
have to tell you, we're still fighting a

perception problem with the electorate.
What does that suppose to mean?

People don't like you.

A lot of the voters seem to think that
your campaign against Joan Hobson is

just too negative.

Negative. I have gone out of my way to
be respectful of that warthog in

pantyhose.

How's it look now, Frank?

Uh, no better. Still got that nasty
glare.

You know what that means?

Yeah.

Fan mail's here.

Ah, yes. The fielding and juggernaut
gather steam.

These are Christine's.

This one's for you.

Every vote counts.

Get your muck-sucking pig face off my
TV.

Aha, an undecided.

So, Christine, drive the tractor in
today?

Oh, oh, the scarf.

Oh, this was a gift from my Aunt Jane,
and I thought you might get a kick out

of seeing it on television.

Screwed up your hair, huh?

It's a disaster.

My hair stylist, Marcus, suggested a
body perm. So he puts on the solution.

He gets into a fight with a shampoo
girl. He leaves me sitting there for

over an hour.

Oh, Christine, let's have a look. It
can't be that bad.

I stand corrected.

Nice hair.

And then to top it all, I missed my
transfer and I had to walk the last 20

blocks in the slush with leaky boots.

Well, I guess we can speak in just one
more. Come on.

Follow me.

see i'm in the middle of a meeting dan
could be a voter a meeting to see how i

dan fielding can help a fellow citizen
in any way god bless you i've come all

the way from queens hoping that you can
help me that's nowhere near my district

go suck a tea bag

I went to Mar... I went to Marco for a
body perm, and he got into a fight with

a shampoo girl, and that's why I have to
appear in front of all of New York

looking like an overdressed poodle.

Okay? Are you happy?

If you're finished, yes.

Okay, Matt, let's get into it. Matt?

Right here, sir.

Yes, sir. People versus Elaine Scott.

Prosecution. Yes, Mr. Scott is charged
with being a street corner entertainment

center.

Any defense?

I've been going to Marco for three
years. He knows my hair.

Guilty, Your Honor.

Yes, guilty.

And I...

until this plague of diseased vermin is
eradicated from our streets.

Dan, if this legal stuff is interfering
with your campaign, you just let me

know.

Sorry, sir.

Court finds the defendant guilty.
That'll be $50, and... Time's up!

Mac, am I getting too predictable?

You're probably one of those lucky group
guesses, sir.

I hope you didn't take that personally.
When I'm in office, I plan on doing

everything I can for people in the
service industries.

I'll tell you what you can do.

Why don't you bend over and kiss your
own butt for a while?

Do the people have a sense of humor or
what?

and he needs your help. Well, that
really sounds more like a police matter

to me, Miss... Mrs.

Sharon Daly. Well, I've already been to
the police, and they wouldn't listen to

me. But I thought about you. I've been
watching your show on television, and

you all just seem so kind and caring and
loving.

Well, most of you.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Daly, but we have a
docket and we have rules that we have to

abide by, one of which is that we have
to take the cases in order.

Oh, dear.

Would this hand grenade make you change
your mind?

You're next.

What's the chance that that thing's a
dud?

A very good chance.

On the other hand, it might go off if
you look at it funny.

You've been fighting that one all day.

Mr. Daly, you said something about a man
in trouble?

Mrs. Daly, if your husband has been
unjustly sentenced, there is an appeal

process. You don't have to go to these
extremes.

Oh, I'm afraid I do. I've tried
everything, but nobody will listen to

me. Dear, what did you do to your hair?

Look, Mrs. Daly, think about what you're
doing.

In order to correct one wrong, you're
willing to commit an even greater wrong.

You don't want to do that, do you?

No. Good.

But I will.

I'm a desperate woman.

Show me one who isn't.

the governor would hear the real facts
of the case, he would grant Adam a

pardon. Well, we would have to see a
copy of the judgment against him so we

could find out if there's a basis for
appeal.

Oh, we don't have time for that. He's
being transferred from solitary at

midnight tonight, and the real killer
has a contract to rub him out.

Rub him out?

Heard about it in the prison grapevine.

You know how lifers gossip.

Well, I would have to send off some of
my people to check out some things.

Would that be all right?

Oh, of course.

Now, is there anything I can do?

Uh, yeah. You could give me the grenade.

Well, why don't I just hang on to it?
That way we can make sure that your

people put a wiggle in it.

Right.

Mac, find out everything you can about
Mrs. Daly. Roz, you check out her

husband's prison records.

I'm going to go check everything.

They're not checking.

Martin,

what the hell are you doing?

Have you forgotten that camera's still
on? You wrestle that grenade from her,

and I guarantee a ten-point swing in our
target electorate.

Yeah, and I get to go to the state
assembly in a bunch of Ziploc bags.

This is your chance. Seize the moment.

All right.

Mrs. daily.

I've had just about enough.

I'm not going to stand idly by and watch
you put innocent people's lives at risk.

I demand that you give me, Dan Fielding,
candidate for state assembly, that

grenade.

Young man, I have been listening to your
self-serving twaddle on TV for two weeks

now, and I've had just about enough of
it. One more peep out of you and your

spaghetti. He made me do it. wanted to
run.

Now, if you brush through your hair, it
will distribute the oil and relax the

curl. Go on, run along. Give it a try.

It's worth a shot.

Helpful little terrorist, ain't she?

Hey, Your Honor.

Stand back.

Nice crisis technique, Mac.

What'd you guys find out?

Well, we checked the prisons and there's
no one by the name of Adam Daly.

Not only that, the records show she was
married to a Ben Daly in 1952.

Ben?

Mrs. Daly? Yes?

The records seem to indicate that your
husband's name is Ben.

That's because he changed his name to
Adam Logan when he went undercover with

the agency.

The agency? You mean like the CIA?

Oh, my dear, no. The World Security
Agency.

Wait a minute. Is this the same Adam
Logan who was framed by Palmer

Charleston for the murder of Amy
Delmonico?

Yes!

Ross, have you been keeping up with this
case?

Sure. Every day at 2 o'clock. The days
of passion on Channel 5.

And that little tramp, Jessica, she
knows all about it and she won't say a

word. Why should she? She's shacking up
with Ronnie Delmonico. She knows what's

that. Her bread is buttered on.

It's a soap opera.

I think somebody's lost their vertical
hold.

Ross.

Mrs. Daly, uh, I imagine you spend a lot
of time alone, huh?

Oh, no.

I have a cat, Gilligan.

And you and Gilligan, you, uh, watch a
lot of TV?

Oh, some.

We both like Phil and Oprah.

And Johnny.

and the Huxtables, and Blake, and Lexus,
and Hawkeye, and J.R., Wally and the

Beavs, and the Fonz.

Mrs. Daly, I think I'm beginning to
understand. You might be a little

confused. I am? About what?

Well, you see, this Adam fella, he's not
in trouble. He's just the character.

Isn't he a nut sometimes?

No, no, no. He's a fictional character.

On a soap opera. On TV.

You see, the people that you see on TV,
they're not real.

Don't be silly. I've been watching you
on TV two weeks now. You're real.

She's got you there, sir.

Well, what I mean is... Well, for
example, certainly you understand that

Alf is not real.

What?

you're headed, sir.

Al, definitely not real.

We're not getting anywhere here. I came
here with a problem.

All you want to talk to me about is what
I do at home.

Are you going to help me solve this, or
do I have to? No!

This is Jim Fisher, Action News,
bringing you the hostage crisis live.

Behind me, you can see some of the
potential victims.

Here's one now.

What the hell are you doing? This is a
sensitive situation. Someone could get

killed.

Let's hope that doesn't happen.

Better get a wide shot, Eddie.

Yeah, like from out in the hall.

All right, all right.

Hey, just edit out the judge and send
the tape down to the station.

Hey, you mean we weren't being
broadcast?

Nah. But you said live.

Lighten up.

It's just the news.

You wait here.

Mac, you're coming with me. Bull, you
entertain Mrs. Daly for a while. Right.

Swanee!

Swanee!

I'm telling you, I've never seen a drop
like this. In the last hour, your

standing in the polls has dropped 30
points.

How do you get results that fast?

It was a phone survey.

As soon as people heard your name...
They hung out.

And I think six months ago, they didn't
even know who I was.

Frankly, I don't know what she sees in
him. If you ask me, Fred just doesn't

appreciate her.

Well, Fred's under a lot of pressure,
especially since Wilma had pebbles.

Oh, dear.

Fifteen minutes to midnight. I do hope
Judge Stone is making some headway with

the governor.

I brushed out my hair. This is the best
I could do.

Are you sure you brushed it long enough?

You tell me.

Now you got to think about getting a
leash for that thing.

Here you go, Mrs. Daly.

Just don't thought you might like to
watch a little TV.

Mac, what are you doing?

Just following Harry's orders.

Well, that's very thoughtful of you, but
I'm afraid I really don't have time for

this. Sure you do, Mrs. Daly.

Oh, Judge Stone, there you are.

Hey, look, there he's on TV.

Uh-oh, skinny butt's got an idea.

Should have hit the head while I had a
chance.

Judge Stone, did you get in touch with
the governor yet?

No, not yet.

First, I wanted to get some more
information on your husband.

But I already told you everything about
Adam. I mean Ben, your real husband.

What happened to him, Mrs. Daly?

Who said anything happened?

Did he die?

No. Was there a divorce?

No. I told you, he joined the agency.

That was Adam.

We're talking about Ben.

Where is he?

I don't know.

You don't know?

No.

I just came home one day, and he had
moved out.

I didn't know why.

He just left me.

I have to explain all of this to you,
Judge Stone.

Oh, real good move, Harry. Tick off the
lady with the bomb.

Mrs. Daly, I think you're having trouble
facing reality.

Reality? I have no problem with reality.

Oh, no?

Well, then you tell me.

Am I the real Harry Stone?

Or am I the real Harry Stone?

Oh, dear.

Confusing, isn't it?

You could say that.

How can you be here and there?

Something called videotape.

I recorded this just a few minutes ago.

Why are you trying to confuse me?

I'm not.

Really, I'm not.

I'm trying to help you.

I get the feeling that things were hard
for you when Ben left.

I thought we'd be together always.

The house was so quiet when he wasn't
there.

And then Adam came, and he... he filled
the void.

He's such a sweet man.

He's so considerate and thoughtful.

And he's there every day, isn't he?

Monday through Friday?

He's everything you hoped your husband
would be.

I don't think he's as tall.

Mrs. Daly, the problem is that Adam is
just a character in a TV show.

That's not reality.

This... is reality.

It's just so hard for me to tell what's
real anymore. Sometimes I

just wish there was some easy way to
tell the difference.

Well, you might start by doing this
every once in a while.

I'm so sorry.

I really feel like a goose.

Well, okay.

supposed to do?

That kind of depends on what you're
going to do with that grenade.

Oh, yes, I have made quite a to-do,
haven't I?

Who wants it?

I'll take that, Mrs. Daly.

I got a neighbor who's been playing a
stereo too loud.

You've all been very nice to me.

Thank you for listening to me.

Am I going to the slammer now?

No. You're going to go to a hospital.
There are people there who will help you

sort these things out.

But not St.

Elsewhere, right?

Right. We all know that's way over there
in Boston, isn't it? See, I'm beginning

to get the hang of this.

Well, I wouldn't make any plans for
Christmas.

It's all over?

Darn. I was hoping we could milk the
spotlight for a little damage control.

Don't worry about it, Fleming. Most
voters are drooling mouth breathers with

the minds of gnats anyway.

Dan? Huh?

Camera's still on.