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1
00:00:01,733 --> 00:00:04,403
(light chiming)
2
00:00:08,233 --> 00:00:10,833
(upbeat music)
3
00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:38,367
* Now we don't have to pretend
4
00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:43,327
* Falling all around me is
the patience that I lost *
5
00:00:44,267 --> 00:00:46,967
* Where I'm confused again
6
00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:51,697
* Tell me I watch y'alls
7
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:56,670
* I'll be the change again
8
00:00:57,967 --> 00:01:02,927
* I'll change the
way things end *
9
00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:08,097
* Don't leave me in the chops
10
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:11,800
* Simply now we chance to go
11
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,300
* We chance to go
12
00:01:15,300 --> 00:01:19,770
* Oh, tell me once or twice
13
00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:22,597
* Can we put this all behind
14
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:26,070
* 'Cause I have lot my mind
15
00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:29,427
* There's somethin'
I need to find *
16
00:01:29,433 --> 00:01:31,833
* Falling all around me
17
00:01:31,833 --> 00:01:34,703
* Is the patience that I lost
18
00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:37,200
* And I'm confused again
19
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,430
(phone beeps)
20
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,773
- Yes, hello, do you have any
availability for the 16th?
21
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:45,697
Oh, great.
22
00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,830
Can I just ask,
23
00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:52,233
how much extra it would
be for a four-poster?
24
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:55,897
Really, that's good.
25
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,830
Yes, thanks, that'd be great.
26
00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:01,703
It's Dan and Kate Johnson,
27
00:02:01,700 --> 00:02:03,900
J-O-H-N-S-O-N.
28
00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:05,697
Smashing.
29
00:02:16,333 --> 00:02:18,933
(horn honking)
30
00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:31,533
- Morning, Bianca.
31
00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:33,333
- Oh, hello!
32
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:35,733
Excuse the hair,
Barry and Sue's party.
33
00:02:35,733 --> 00:02:36,873
You have to make the effort,
34
00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:39,267
no matter how provincial
it might sound.
35
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:40,567
Are you going, cock?
36
00:02:40,567 --> 00:02:41,697
- I can't, no.
37
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,173
Sorry, I'm not being rude
but I'm in a bit of a hurry.
38
00:02:45,167 --> 00:02:46,067
- Hurry?
39
00:02:46,067 --> 00:02:46,967
- Ferry to catch.
40
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:47,927
I'm driving to Hollyhead.
41
00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:49,473
- Oh, off on your jollies?
42
00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:50,397
- Not exactly.
43
00:02:51,633 --> 00:02:53,603
I'm just spending some
time with my parents.
44
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,970
I'm letting the house out.
45
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,367
The estate agents
are coming later.
46
00:02:56,367 --> 00:02:57,867
They've got keys, obviously,
47
00:02:57,867 --> 00:03:00,397
but I want you to have a
set, if you don't mind.
48
00:03:01,267 --> 00:03:02,567
- Oh.
49
00:03:02,567 --> 00:03:04,897
- I'll call you when I get home.
50
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,900
- But this is your home.
51
00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,530
- I'll be in touch.
52
00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:12,397
Thanks, Bianca.
53
00:03:13,967 --> 00:03:16,867
(thoughtful music)
54
00:03:21,533 --> 00:03:22,573
- Yoo-hoo!
55
00:03:22,567 --> 00:03:23,667
It's only me.
56
00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:28,873
Hey.
57
00:03:28,867 --> 00:03:30,467
Hey, Jack's on the
move, I've noticed.
58
00:03:30,467 --> 00:03:32,427
He's only just got here
when you think about it.
59
00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:33,573
- What's all that about?
60
00:03:33,567 --> 00:03:34,967
- How am I supposed to know?
61
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:36,797
- Where's Dan?
62
00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,100
He was up at six, he's
got a job on in town.
63
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,070
- Saturday?
64
00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:43,067
- He charges more.
65
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:45,297
Mom, I wish you'd call me
66
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,530
and let me know you're
coming sometimes.
67
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:49,203
- Been on the wine last
night, snappy socks?
68
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:50,070
- No.
69
00:03:50,067 --> 00:03:51,197
- Time of the month?
70
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:52,430
- Mother!
71
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,833
For God's sake mum,
it's your anniversary.
72
00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,633
Can't you take a break
from household chores
73
00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:57,833
just for once?
74
00:03:57,833 --> 00:03:59,373
- Oh, don't be silly.
75
00:03:59,367 --> 00:04:01,127
We're already ahead of schedule.
76
00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:02,933
We picked up the booze at 8:30
77
00:04:02,933 --> 00:04:04,673
and it'll only take
me 10 minutes or so
78
00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,667
to lay out the bar later on.
79
00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:08,397
I mean, what else
am I going to do?
80
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,330
Your father's
crawling the walls.
81
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,903
He'd be still clipping
his toenails at midnight.
82
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:14,700
I told him to just have
a look at your borders.
83
00:04:14,700 --> 00:04:16,830
That'll keep him occupied
for half an hour.
84
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,300
No boxers?
85
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,130
- What?
86
00:04:20,133 --> 00:04:21,203
- Where's Dan's boxers?
87
00:04:22,533 --> 00:04:24,133
- I put a wash on yesterday.
88
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:25,073
- You?
89
00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:26,097
A wash?
90
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,230
Goodness gracious.
91
00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:31,073
You are feeling rough,
aren't you, chicken fluff?
92
00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:33,167
(sighing)
93
00:04:35,533 --> 00:04:37,073
- Right, son, up you get.
94
00:04:38,267 --> 00:04:39,927
I've had your Auntie
Beryl on the phone.
95
00:04:39,933 --> 00:04:42,503
She wants you to put
a new dishwasher in.
96
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:45,500
And don't listen to any of
her pleading poverty bullshit.
97
00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,170
I've told her you
want paying in cash,
98
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,497
not fucking Mars bars.
99
00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:55,697
(phone ringing)
100
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:01,600
- Hi.
101
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,100
- Hi.
102
00:05:03,100 --> 00:05:04,200
How are you?
103
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,330
- All right, ta.
104
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:06,673
What about you?
105
00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:09,467
Don't tell me, he's made
you breakfast in bed.
106
00:05:09,467 --> 00:05:11,297
- Dan, please.
107
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:12,370
- Do you want something?
108
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,697
Well, what?
109
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:16,670
- Mum's here.
110
00:05:16,667 --> 00:05:17,497
Your mum?
111
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:18,330
At ours?
112
00:05:18,333 --> 00:05:19,173
Don't be silly.
113
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,597
- Dan.
114
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,730
- You'll be telling me
she's got her own key next.
115
00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:22,803
- Stop taking the piss.
116
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,970
- I'm not taking the piss.
117
00:05:26,067 --> 00:05:27,227
Is that it?
118
00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:28,803
You called me to tell
me your mum's there?
119
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,330
Hey, guess what.
120
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:31,533
My mum's here.
121
00:05:31,533 --> 00:05:32,403
What do you know!
122
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,067
- She asked where
you were again.
123
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:38,067
That's all.
124
00:05:38,067 --> 00:05:38,867
- And?
125
00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:41,133
- I said you were working.
126
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,633
- We need to talk about this.
127
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:45,803
I know and I promise we will.
128
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,870
But can we just wait until
after the party, please?
129
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,830
- Okay then.
130
00:05:52,833 --> 00:05:54,733
- And have you told your mother
to keep her big gob shut?
131
00:05:54,733 --> 00:05:56,433
- Yes!
132
00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,403
Although, I can't be
held responsible for
what she might say
133
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,400
once she gets a cider
and black down her neck.
134
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:01,900
- Just do me a favor,
135
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,470
if you happen to bump into my
mum and dad anywhere today,
136
00:06:05,433 --> 00:06:06,633
just keep schtum.
137
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,067
- Is that it?
138
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,870
- Are you still okay
to pick up the food?
139
00:06:12,867 --> 00:06:14,197
- Yeah, fine.
140
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,830
- I'll see you later then.
141
00:06:17,833 --> 00:06:18,673
- Yeah.
142
00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:20,673
See you later.
143
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:32,070
(thoughtful music)
144
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,070
(knocking on door)
145
00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:44,467
- Oh god, not again.
146
00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:46,127
- Don't be stupid.
147
00:06:46,133 --> 00:06:47,073
- If you've done one more thing.
148
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:49,067
- I've done fuck all, I promise.
149
00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:54,797
- See who it is.
150
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:55,630
- It's weekend.
151
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:56,603
They can bugger off!
152
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:57,930
- See who it is!
153
00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:05,173
- It's okay, a delivery van.
154
00:07:07,233 --> 00:07:09,173
- Oh, shit, it's my shoes.
155
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,567
It's a parcel, tell him to wait.
156
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:14,867
Just stick your head out the
window, tell him to wait.
157
00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:18,367
Mate, here, wait!
158
00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:29,973
- Hiya.
159
00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:30,797
- [Denise] Hello.
160
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:31,630
- Hi.
161
00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:32,673
You buy anything nice?
162
00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:34,767
Oh, just an outfit for tonight.
163
00:07:34,767 --> 00:07:35,627
- Going anywhere special?
164
00:07:35,633 --> 00:07:37,073
- A party.
165
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:38,527
- Damn.
166
00:07:38,533 --> 00:07:40,073
See, I was gonna see if you
wanted to go out somewhere.
167
00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:41,267
- Oh.
168
00:07:41,267 --> 00:07:42,067
- But if you're
at a party then--
169
00:07:42,067 --> 00:07:42,897
- Never mind.
170
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:45,267
I've got this book
at home called
171
00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:47,067
"How To Drop Hints And
Get Yourself An Invite".
172
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,627
It's a great read.
173
00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:50,073
You should probably
buy it one day.
174
00:07:50,067 --> 00:07:51,327
- Oh, thanks.
175
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,833
But I'm more of a
chickflick girl.
176
00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:55,473
I've just read "That Extra
Half an Inch" by Posh Spice.
177
00:07:55,467 --> 00:07:56,967
Un-put-down-able.
178
00:07:56,967 --> 00:07:59,067
- Well, look, there's
always tomorrow.
179
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:00,627
- [Denise] Tomorrow?
180
00:08:00,633 --> 00:08:02,073
- [Guy] Yeah, we
could go out then.
181
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,267
- Um, can't.
182
00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,527
I'm staying in and
making a cheesecake.
183
00:08:05,533 --> 00:08:06,503
- What about Monday?
184
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:07,330
- Manicure.
185
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:08,373
- Tuesday?
186
00:08:08,367 --> 00:08:10,197
- Nuisance practice.
187
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:11,830
You should know already.
188
00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:12,673
Your sister.
189
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,670
It's what I call
the birthing class.
190
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,267
Which is why you
shouldn't be pestering me
191
00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:18,967
in the first place.
192
00:08:18,967 --> 00:08:21,767
I mean, let's be honest.
193
00:08:21,767 --> 00:08:23,397
It's a bit weird,
don't you think,
194
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,370
in terms of the ergonomics.
195
00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:27,697
Dating a woman that's
already been inseminated.
196
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,070
I mean, that's why
you're out chasing
197
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,597
in the first place, isn't it?
198
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,530
To sow your oats.
199
00:08:33,533 --> 00:08:35,203
Think about it, Mozart.
200
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,500
You and me, going on a date?
201
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:39,330
Talk about pointless.
202
00:08:39,333 --> 00:08:40,573
- But I like you.
203
00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:41,397
Can't we just--
204
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,330
(sighing)
205
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,203
Look, you're really sweet,
206
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,700
but honestly, I just don't
think it's a good idea.
207
00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:53,473
(thoughtful music)
208
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,667
- What the frig are you doing?
209
00:09:04,667 --> 00:09:07,227
- Stops it smelling when you
put it in the recycling bin.
210
00:09:07,233 --> 00:09:08,403
- Recycling?
211
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:09,600
You taking the piss?
212
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:11,827
Do I look like I got time
213
00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:13,803
to fanny about sorting
through rubbish?
214
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:16,497
I've got a life you know, son.
215
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,630
Ooh, stick the
telly on, will you?
216
00:09:19,633 --> 00:09:21,103
Jeremy Kyle's on in a minute.
217
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,070
You remember Simon,
don't you, love?
218
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,497
We're going shopping this aft.
219
00:09:28,500 --> 00:09:30,500
I need a new outfit
for the party.
220
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,900
Simon's gonna help me pick
something, aren't you?
221
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,070
- Mm hmm.
222
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:35,700
- All right?
223
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,200
- How's it going, big fella?
224
00:09:39,067 --> 00:09:39,897
- Good, thanks.
225
00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:43,773
Hey, you're looking well, mate.
226
00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:45,067
- You know me, son.
227
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:47,527
Always been partial to a
bit of brick shithouse.
228
00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:49,703
Fancy some cornflakes, Superman?
229
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:52,370
(both laughing)
230
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:01,997
- [Greg] Hi, pal.
231
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,400
- Greg, mate.
232
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,900
That's it, I've had enough.
233
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,130
It's got to change, all this.
234
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:08,133
I'm sorting my life out.
235
00:10:08,133 --> 00:10:09,973
You around for a
pint this afternoon?
236
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:15,067
- It's only a pint.
237
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:16,667
- It's never just only
with you, though, is it?
238
00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:17,997
I promise!
239
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,830
Poor fella sounds desperate.
240
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:21,073
- So you'll end up pissed?
241
00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:22,467
- No, we won't.
242
00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:24,197
- I'll be back by
five at the latest.
243
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,470
- Five?
244
00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:27,397
I don't want us turning
up at Barry and Sue's
245
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,700
with you half-cut.
246
00:10:31,467 --> 00:10:34,897
(phone ringing)
247
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,730
Hello?
248
00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:36,703
- [Man] Greg?
249
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:37,930
- Sorry, he's in the shower.
250
00:10:37,933 --> 00:10:40,173
- Ah, is this his wife?
251
00:10:40,167 --> 00:10:41,967
Sorry, do I know you?
252
00:10:41,967 --> 00:10:43,597
- Yes, Richard.
253
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,430
- Richard?
254
00:10:44,433 --> 00:10:45,673
- Friend of Jack's.
255
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:47,367
We didn't meet
that day, I think.
256
00:10:47,367 --> 00:10:49,467
I met Lisa, dragon
from next door.
257
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,670
- What day?
258
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:52,827
- The day of the car crash.
259
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:53,773
- Car crash?
260
00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:58,097
Oh, yeah, of course.
261
00:10:58,100 --> 00:10:59,070
- Is he better, your boy?
262
00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,897
He took quite a knock.
263
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,730
- Yeah.
264
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,630
No offense, Richard,
265
00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:05,903
but I'm gonna have to
get a bit of a move on.
266
00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,800
People to see, places to go.
267
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,300
You with me?
268
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,970
- Listen, tell Greg to give
me a quick call, will you?
269
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:13,827
I've got a bit of a business
proposition for him.
270
00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:15,603
- Of course I will.
271
00:11:15,600 --> 00:11:16,430
Bye.
272
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,230
- [Woman] Lisa, hi.
273
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:28,397
Mum asked me to bob in, to
check everything was in hand.
274
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,070
- Of course it is.
275
00:11:30,067 --> 00:11:31,597
That's not egg-mayo, is it?
276
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,330
As in made with mayo?
277
00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:34,533
Didn't my mum explain?
278
00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,503
That you like it made
with salad cream.
279
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,330
- Yeah.
280
00:11:37,333 --> 00:11:38,273
- Yeah.
281
00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:39,497
She did explain, actually,
282
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:41,070
and that's exactly
what I've used.
283
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:41,797
- Good.
284
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,367
And Dan will pick it
all up around seven.
285
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:46,167
- Yeah.
286
00:11:47,967 --> 00:11:48,927
Yeah, don't worry.
287
00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:49,833
He called me this morning.
288
00:11:49,833 --> 00:11:50,933
It's all arranged.
289
00:11:53,233 --> 00:11:54,533
- Why did you tell him, Kate?
290
00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:56,933
Look, Lisa, I'm really
sorry Dan left you--
291
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,473
He hasn't left me!
292
00:11:58,467 --> 00:11:59,527
We're separated.
293
00:11:59,533 --> 00:12:00,703
Temporarily.
294
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,470
People do it all the time.
295
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:05,097
And you got it all
wrong about me and Jack.
296
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,100
- You don't have to
explain yourself to me.
297
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,800
- I'm not explaining myself.
298
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:10,200
I'm just telling you.
299
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,170
You got it wrong.
300
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,697
And if I'd had it my way,
301
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,670
Mum would have gone somewhere
else for the catering.
302
00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:16,827
- People have a right to know
303
00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:18,133
when they're being
messed around, you know.
304
00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:20,073
That's all I want to say.
305
00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:21,867
(laughs)
306
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,627
- Dan was right about you.
307
00:12:23,633 --> 00:12:24,573
- Pardon?
308
00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:25,627
- You do need to get out more.
309
00:12:25,633 --> 00:12:27,103
Mingle a bit.
310
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:29,600
Touch of the old
maid about you, Kate.
311
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:30,870
It's disturbing.
312
00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:33,867
(muffled pop music)
313
00:12:41,367 --> 00:12:42,197
- Hiya.
314
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,370
- Hi, are you okay?
315
00:12:43,367 --> 00:12:44,767
- Oh, just a bit tired,
this bloody party.
316
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,597
- Who's Richard?
317
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,170
- Richard?
318
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,767
- Don't try and cover anything
up or make any silly excuses.
319
00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:51,667
- Cover what up?
320
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:52,497
What are you on about?
321
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,800
- Richard.
322
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,830
The night Greg was
supposedly mugged.
323
00:12:55,833 --> 00:12:56,673
(gasps)
324
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:58,067
- Oh, Richard!
325
00:12:58,067 --> 00:13:00,167
It was just cards,
really, nothing special.
326
00:13:00,167 --> 00:13:01,667
- But he didn't mention it.
327
00:13:01,667 --> 00:13:02,627
Why didn't he mention it?
328
00:13:02,633 --> 00:13:04,103
What was he trying to hide?
329
00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,370
- Well, he knows you hate
him gambling, Shelley.
330
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:06,897
Probably didn't
want the earache.
331
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:08,330
- Did it not bother you?
332
00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:09,833
That Dan was playing cards?
333
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:10,673
(scoffs)
334
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:11,497
- Did it, heck!
335
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:12,570
Why should it?
336
00:13:12,567 --> 00:13:14,167
He's a crap gambler.
337
00:13:14,167 --> 00:13:16,167
Anyway, he came home, didn't he?
338
00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:17,527
When they said they were
going to the casino,
339
00:13:17,533 --> 00:13:19,303
he just called it a day.
340
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:20,130
The casino?
341
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,700
- Yeah.
342
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,500
(scoffs)
343
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,870
- What a complete
and utter prick.
344
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,667
- [Lisa] Are you totally
sure he said crash?
345
00:13:29,667 --> 00:13:31,167
- Of course I am.
346
00:13:31,167 --> 00:13:32,567
- I mean, he wasn't the
sharpest tool in the box,
347
00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:33,967
if I'm honest, that Richard.
348
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:35,827
- Oh, my God.
349
00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,333
Pretend I'm not here.
350
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,073
Look at each other,
don't look at me!
351
00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:40,167
- Is he looking in?
352
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,097
- Yes.
353
00:13:41,100 --> 00:13:42,370
- Don't look out though!
354
00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:43,797
- You just asked me
if he's looking in!
355
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:44,800
- Don't look!
356
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,070
- He's coming in.
357
00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:47,727
He's very cute.
358
00:13:47,733 --> 00:13:48,873
- Getting ready for the party?
359
00:13:48,867 --> 00:13:50,927
- Obviously, duh.
360
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:52,503
- Is this the one where you
can't bring someone along?
361
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,730
- Yes.
362
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:54,933
- Of course you
can bring someone!
363
00:13:54,933 --> 00:13:56,133
- No, I can't!
364
00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:57,403
- Ignore her.
365
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,470
It's my mum and
dad's party, love.
366
00:13:59,467 --> 00:14:01,067
Which means it's
practically mine.
367
00:14:01,067 --> 00:14:02,197
Of course you can come.
368
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,330
- So, I'll pick you up at--
369
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:08,703
- Oh, I think half
seven should do it.
370
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,700
Here's her address.
371
00:14:11,233 --> 00:14:12,073
- Thanks.
372
00:14:12,067 --> 00:14:12,897
- Now bugger off.
373
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:14,470
This is girl time.
374
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:15,297
- What did you do that for?
375
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:17,400
- Oh, it's only a date.
376
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,200
- And he's rather gorgeous.
377
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:24,597
(thoughtful music)
378
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,900
- Hiya.
379
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:49,730
- Hello.
380
00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:51,530
- How you doing?
381
00:14:52,633 --> 00:14:53,803
- Fantastic, thanks.
382
00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:57,467
(laughs)
383
00:14:57,467 --> 00:14:59,067
She's beautiful.
384
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,327
- Yeah, I know.
385
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,370
- Bye, Fergus.
386
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,070
Denise.
387
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,230
I'm sorry.
388
00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:17,067
- Yeah, I know you are.
389
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:26,430
- Got my bits.
390
00:15:26,433 --> 00:15:27,273
- Yeah.
391
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,830
(thoughtful music)
392
00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:55,403
- [Sue] My boy.
393
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:18,570
- Look at you.
394
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:23,700
Flower?
395
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,300
- 40 years.
396
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:26,730
- I know.
397
00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:28,903
- I never thought
I'd make it through.
398
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:30,600
I didn't think I could carry on.
399
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,970
- Shh, that's nonsense.
400
00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,827
- You got me through it, Barry.
401
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:40,067
I just want you to know
that I love you very much.
402
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,970
- Not as much as
I love you, kid.
403
00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:56,067
You okay?
404
00:16:58,433 --> 00:16:59,633
- Yeah, I'm okay.
405
00:16:59,633 --> 00:17:01,333
- Right, kid, get
your dancing shoes on.
406
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,433
We've got a shindig to go to.
407
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:07,400
(thoughtful music)
408
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,767
(horn honks)
409
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:22,827
Hey, DJ Dave!
410
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,403
Hey, Timperley's Finest.
411
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,370
Peace in the Middle
East, sunshine.
412
00:17:26,367 --> 00:17:27,197
How's tricks?
413
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:28,070
- All right, Barry.
414
00:17:28,067 --> 00:17:29,267
You know me.
415
00:17:29,267 --> 00:17:31,597
Ducking and a diving,
wheeling and a dealing.
416
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,630
- Hey, screwing and a mooing.
417
00:17:33,633 --> 00:17:35,303
- [Dave] Dabbling
and a babbling.
418
00:17:37,700 --> 00:17:39,900
- Now that's what
I call a disco.
419
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,270
- Hiya, Dave.
420
00:17:41,267 --> 00:17:43,797
- About time we got
this party started.
421
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:48,170
(lively disco music)
422
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,530
(thoughtful music)
423
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,400
(doorbell ringing)
424
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,130
- What the fuck do you want?
425
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,373
- I need to explain something.
426
00:19:07,367 --> 00:19:09,067
- What if I don't
want to hear it?
427
00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:11,167
- Look, Lisa didn't
kiss me, I kissed her.
428
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:14,373
- My wife!
429
00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:15,297
- I'm totally sorry!
430
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:16,270
- I should cave your head in!
431
00:19:16,267 --> 00:19:17,497
- I was out of order!
432
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,070
I fancied her, she
didn't want to know.
433
00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:20,367
- You should have
left her alone!
434
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,327
- She only ever said
how much she loved ya.
435
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,203
(Dan growls)
436
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,700
- She should have told me.
437
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,930
She bullshitted me, basically.
438
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,173
She shouldn't have
bullshitted me.
439
00:19:29,167 --> 00:19:31,127
- She pushed me away!
440
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,233
Look, whatever Kate
saw, she saw it wrong.
441
00:19:34,867 --> 00:19:36,267
I'm sorry.
442
00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:37,467
I was bang out of order.
443
00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:40,170
You're a good bloke, Dan.
444
00:19:41,767 --> 00:19:42,727
And a lucky one.
445
00:19:42,733 --> 00:19:45,973
(thoughtful music)
446
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,527
(upbeat music)
447
00:20:00,067 --> 00:20:02,567
(kids yelling)
448
00:20:14,433 --> 00:20:15,633
- Thanks, Peggy.
449
00:20:15,633 --> 00:20:17,733
Jim, go and get
yourselves a drink.
450
00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:18,573
(gasps)
451
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:19,397
Shelley!
452
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,970
- Hasta la vista, baby.
453
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,127
What's it crackalacking?
454
00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:22,973
- Hiya.
455
00:20:22,967 --> 00:20:23,797
- You look gorgeous.
456
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,130
Oh, thank you, Sue.
457
00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:26,073
So do you.
458
00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:27,397
Happy anniversary.
459
00:20:28,267 --> 00:20:31,167
So, this is a slow-cooker.
460
00:20:31,167 --> 00:20:32,297
Hope that's okay.
461
00:20:32,300 --> 00:20:33,800
- How wonderful!
462
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,370
- Well, Lisa said you
can bung a stew in it
463
00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,067
and leave it cooking
while she goes skating.
464
00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:38,527
- Hiya.
- Oh hiya.
465
00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:42,667
- See you in a minute.
- See you later.
466
00:20:44,333 --> 00:20:46,303
- You look fantastic!
467
00:20:46,300 --> 00:20:47,100
Give us a kiss.
468
00:20:48,633 --> 00:20:50,103
What's up?
469
00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,470
- You couldn't even go
home and get changed first?
470
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:54,427
- You like what I'm
wearing, don't you?
471
00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:11,097
- Hello?
472
00:21:12,567 --> 00:21:13,397
- Hi!
473
00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:17,073
- You're not coming?
474
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:19,067
- Well, I didn't think
it was such a good idea.
475
00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:19,967
- Sue's invited you.
476
00:21:19,967 --> 00:21:21,627
She'll be expecting you.
477
00:21:21,633 --> 00:21:22,933
- I'm just not sure.
478
00:21:22,933 --> 00:21:24,103
- You've done all this.
479
00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:26,567
You could do with
a drink, surely.
480
00:21:26,567 --> 00:21:27,497
(laughs)
481
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:29,070
- Well, you're not wrong there.
482
00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:30,467
- I'll load the van, you go
and get your glad rags on.
483
00:21:30,467 --> 00:21:32,427
- Well, I need to shower,
I'll be a few minutes.
484
00:21:32,433 --> 00:21:34,073
- I don't mind waiting.
485
00:21:34,067 --> 00:21:34,827
Really?
486
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:38,600
Well, once you finish loading
the van, come up to the flat,
487
00:21:38,600 --> 00:21:40,200
there's some beer in the fridge.
488
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,100
I got you some in.
489
00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:56,403
- God Almighty, it's colder
490
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,170
than a penguin's
bollocks in here.
491
00:21:58,167 --> 00:21:59,827
- Hi, Pauline.
492
00:21:59,833 --> 00:22:02,533
- Well, you'd think they'd
out some heating on.
493
00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:04,733
Who'd have a party in
one of these things?
494
00:22:04,733 --> 00:22:05,903
- My parents, actually.
495
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:09,097
- So, where is he?
496
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:10,200
- Dan?
497
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,700
- Who else?
498
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,170
- He's gone to get changed
and to pick up the food.
499
00:22:14,167 --> 00:22:15,667
- Are you and him talking yet?
500
00:22:17,067 --> 00:22:20,227
- I'd rather none of us
discuss it, if you don't mind.
501
00:22:20,233 --> 00:22:21,433
Not tonight, Pauline.
502
00:22:21,433 --> 00:22:22,373
(sighs)
503
00:22:22,367 --> 00:22:23,367
- Yeah, I know, he warned me.
504
00:22:24,533 --> 00:22:26,203
Word of advice?
505
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,930
Say sorry and give him
a bit of hanky-panky.
506
00:22:28,933 --> 00:22:30,903
He might be my son
but he's still a fella
507
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:32,500
and they're basically
all the same.
508
00:22:32,500 --> 00:22:34,870
Simpletons, with heavy
ball bags, basically.
509
00:22:34,867 --> 00:22:36,067
- Can I take your coat?
510
00:22:37,133 --> 00:22:38,133
- Where's the ladies'?
511
00:22:38,133 --> 00:22:39,333
- Down there.
512
00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:41,073
You go in love, give
us five minutes.
513
00:22:41,067 --> 00:22:42,627
The mole's at the counter.
514
00:22:42,633 --> 00:22:43,473
- [Simon] Again?
515
00:22:43,467 --> 00:22:44,727
- It's your fault.
516
00:22:44,733 --> 00:22:46,803
I said me and that sauce
wouldn't see eye to eye.
517
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,230
Chicken should be dry
and roasted, not drowned.
518
00:22:50,233 --> 00:22:51,473
- What do you want for drink?
519
00:22:51,467 --> 00:22:54,327
- Oh, get us a cider
and black, a pint'll do.
520
00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:56,803
Ooh, and a Schnapps chaser
if there's any going.
521
00:22:58,067 --> 00:23:00,267
(exclaims)
522
00:23:03,233 --> 00:23:04,073
- Aye, aye.
523
00:23:04,067 --> 00:23:05,197
Lock up your daughters.
524
00:23:06,333 --> 00:23:07,573
- And your wives.
525
00:23:07,567 --> 00:23:09,697
Hey, hey, Terry lad.
526
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:12,130
- Happy anniversary, big bro!
527
00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:15,567
Hey, hey, whoa!
528
00:23:19,533 --> 00:23:20,373
- All right, Margaret?
529
00:23:20,367 --> 00:23:22,297
- Happy anniversary.
530
00:23:22,300 --> 00:23:23,570
There you go, love.
531
00:23:25,067 --> 00:23:26,497
Just some haberdashery
532
00:23:26,500 --> 00:23:28,300
and a couple of photo
frames for the chuck wagon.
533
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:30,330
Lisa said you wanted
to tidy it up a bit.
534
00:23:30,333 --> 00:23:31,873
- Oh, lovely.
535
00:23:31,867 --> 00:23:33,427
- Where is she?
536
00:23:33,433 --> 00:23:35,233
Come to daddy, precious girl.
537
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:41,430
Lovely.
538
00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:43,333
- How you keeping, kiddo?
539
00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:44,603
- Not the best.
540
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,330
- Oh, shame.
541
00:23:46,333 --> 00:23:48,673
- They found another
polyps on me appendix.
542
00:23:48,667 --> 00:23:50,297
- Oh, you poor goat.
543
00:23:50,300 --> 00:23:51,870
Does this mean
another operation?
544
00:23:51,867 --> 00:23:53,067
- A week Tuesday.
545
00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:55,227
Four nights in
Mornington General.
546
00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:56,203
Can't wait.
547
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:57,630
The chips are to die for.
548
00:23:57,633 --> 00:24:00,203
I put on four pounds
last time I was in.
549
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,800
And my surgeon's a
pioneer you know.
550
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,070
- Is he?
551
00:24:03,067 --> 00:24:04,527
- It's amazing what
they can do these days.
552
00:24:04,533 --> 00:24:08,073
Apparently we don't even
need our appendix anymore.
553
00:24:08,067 --> 00:24:10,497
Makes you wonder why we're
still born with 'em, don't it?
554
00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:12,197
- Right.
555
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,370
Where is she?
556
00:24:13,367 --> 00:24:14,767
Where's my favorite
little niece?
557
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,400
- He's seen you.
558
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,430
- Bollocks, keep talking.
559
00:24:18,433 --> 00:24:19,273
- He's coming over.
560
00:24:19,267 --> 00:24:20,097
- What, now?
561
00:24:20,100 --> 00:24:21,070
- Yeah, now.
562
00:24:21,067 --> 00:24:21,967
- Has he definitely seen me?
563
00:24:21,967 --> 00:24:23,097
- He's definitely seen you.
564
00:24:23,100 --> 00:24:24,070
Oh, God.
565
00:24:24,067 --> 00:24:24,967
I think he's got a hard on.
566
00:24:24,967 --> 00:24:26,497
- Where is she?
567
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:28,800
Where's my little Lisa?
568
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:29,630
- Uncle Terry!
569
00:24:30,533 --> 00:24:31,933
- Come here!
570
00:24:31,933 --> 00:24:33,373
- Do I have to?
571
00:24:33,367 --> 00:24:35,927
- As the Pope once said,
"Come hither under my cloak."
572
00:24:38,067 --> 00:24:39,497
You're lovely, aren't you?
573
00:24:39,500 --> 00:24:40,700
You do look bonny
574
00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:41,900
- Barry?
- What, love?
575
00:24:43,333 --> 00:24:45,803
- Get over there and
save your daughter.
576
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:46,730
- Pervert alert.
577
00:24:46,733 --> 00:24:48,073
I'm on my way as we speak.
578
00:24:50,233 --> 00:24:51,073
- Hiya, Dad!
579
00:24:51,067 --> 00:24:51,897
- Hi love.
580
00:24:55,133 --> 00:24:56,673
- God, I'm so sorry.
581
00:24:56,667 --> 00:24:57,597
Give me five minutes.
582
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:58,900
I'm nearly ready, I promise.
583
00:24:58,900 --> 00:25:00,070
Hairbrush.
584
00:25:00,067 --> 00:25:00,767
Hairbrush.
585
00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:01,927
Hairbrush.
586
00:25:01,933 --> 00:25:02,773
(laughs)
587
00:25:02,767 --> 00:25:04,227
You're a gem.
588
00:25:04,233 --> 00:25:05,673
Did you get a beer?
589
00:25:05,667 --> 00:25:06,497
- No.
590
00:25:08,933 --> 00:25:09,833
- Nice, isn't it?
591
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:12,570
- Very.
592
00:25:12,567 --> 00:25:14,297
- I knew you would like it.
593
00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,200
Fridge.
594
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:18,070
Now, mister.
595
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:24,430
I said now!
596
00:25:59,133 --> 00:26:01,073
(thoughtful music)
597
00:26:01,067 --> 00:26:02,497
- What if he's had a crash?
598
00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,770
- Oh, he won't have had a crash.
599
00:26:04,767 --> 00:26:06,497
At least if he had, he'd
bloody well tell you.
600
00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:08,070
- [Lisa] But he said seven.
601
00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,097
- Well, he's probably just
watching footy or something.
602
00:26:10,100 --> 00:26:11,270
- Oh, he won't do that.
603
00:26:11,267 --> 00:26:12,497
Not on my mum and dad's 40th.
604
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:13,430
He wouldn't be that mean.
605
00:26:13,433 --> 00:26:15,233
- Why don't you just phone him?
606
00:26:15,233 --> 00:26:16,573
- I'll Be back in a minute.
607
00:26:21,067 --> 00:26:21,897
- I don't think so.
608
00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,570
- I said I'm sorry.
609
00:26:23,567 --> 00:26:24,827
What you want from me, baby?
610
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:25,803
Blood?
611
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,300
(dance music)
612
00:26:37,067 --> 00:26:38,467
- Lordy, Lordy, Lordy.
613
00:26:38,467 --> 00:26:41,227
That's a pair of traffic
stoppers, if ever I saw them.
614
00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:42,873
Yo, comrades.
615
00:26:42,867 --> 00:26:44,267
- Oh, happy anniversary.
616
00:26:46,367 --> 00:26:50,497
- Spice rack for Sue and
screwdriver set for you, Barry.
617
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:52,400
- Oh, smashing that
is, Jim, smashing.
618
00:26:53,633 --> 00:26:55,173
Sue, spice rack.
619
00:26:55,167 --> 00:26:56,567
- Yes, lovely.
620
00:26:57,767 --> 00:26:58,797
- Hey, gorgeous.
621
00:27:00,067 --> 00:27:02,327
Think of a number
between one and 10.
622
00:27:02,333 --> 00:27:03,273
- What?
623
00:27:03,267 --> 00:27:04,867
- Go on, between one and 10.
624
00:27:04,867 --> 00:27:05,827
- Seven?
625
00:27:05,833 --> 00:27:07,773
- Wrong! Sorry.
626
00:27:07,767 --> 00:27:09,227
Oh, shucks!
627
00:27:09,233 --> 00:27:10,803
Now you gonna have to
take all your clothes off.
628
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:11,730
Oh!
629
00:27:11,733 --> 00:27:13,303
- Saucy sausage, you are.
630
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:15,130
- Bloody right I
am, you little minx.
631
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,200
- You don't need to worry.
632
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,600
I don't.
633
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,600
Keeps him out of mischief,
a bit of flirting.
634
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,970
I'm Margaret, I'm his wife.
635
00:27:23,967 --> 00:27:24,967
- I'm Jim.
636
00:27:24,967 --> 00:27:26,197
- Hello, Jim.
637
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,400
I'm not the jealous type.
638
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,470
And I can tell
you're not either.
639
00:27:29,467 --> 00:27:30,797
Life is short enough.
640
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,800
In a world full of
death and disaster,
641
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,200
what's the point of worrying
642
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,330
they're going to
run off together.
643
00:27:36,333 --> 00:27:39,403
Cross the bridge when you
get there, that's my motto.
644
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,270
Fancy a sit down?
645
00:27:43,067 --> 00:27:45,167
(beeping)
646
00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:49,970
(phone ringing)
647
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:32,700
- Hello, chicken.
648
00:28:32,700 --> 00:28:33,670
- Happy anniversary.
649
00:28:33,667 --> 00:28:35,627
It's a radio alarm clock.
650
00:28:35,633 --> 00:28:36,833
- Lovely.
651
00:28:36,833 --> 00:28:37,773
- For the back bedroom.
652
00:28:37,767 --> 00:28:39,567
- Lisa said the other one broke.
653
00:28:39,567 --> 00:28:41,097
- 28 years, we had that thing.
654
00:28:41,100 --> 00:28:43,230
- They don't make things
like these, do they?
655
00:28:43,233 --> 00:28:44,473
You watch.
656
00:28:44,467 --> 00:28:46,067
That'll conk out after
a couple of months.
657
00:28:46,067 --> 00:28:47,667
Load of old tat probably.
658
00:28:47,667 --> 00:28:49,567
- It'll be fine,
won't it, Barry?
659
00:28:49,567 --> 00:28:51,367
- More than fine,
my cherry blossom.
660
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,300
- How's the little
bean coming along?
661
00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:55,500
- Okay, thanks.
662
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:56,430
I can't stop eating.
663
00:28:56,433 --> 00:28:57,973
My thighs are like tree trunks,
664
00:28:57,967 --> 00:29:00,067
but I'm sure it's all worth it.
665
00:29:00,067 --> 00:29:01,597
- Sure, you won't
be saying that,
666
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,230
when they're stitching your
snatch back together, love.
667
00:29:03,233 --> 00:29:04,073
(laughing)
- Hiya.
668
00:29:05,267 --> 00:29:06,497
- Where is Mr. Wonderful?
669
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,270
- I've been trying to
tell everyone, Lisa.
670
00:29:08,267 --> 00:29:09,767
I don't need a man.
671
00:29:09,767 --> 00:29:10,597
None of us do really.
672
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:11,830
If you think about it.
673
00:29:11,833 --> 00:29:13,703
- No, you just haven't
found the right one.
674
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:15,800
I'm very lucky with Simon.
675
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:17,970
In a word, girth.
676
00:29:17,967 --> 00:29:20,227
(laughing)
677
00:29:22,933 --> 00:29:25,073
- They found another
little critter last March,
678
00:29:25,067 --> 00:29:26,597
on my left kidney.
679
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,500
I was naught for six, Jim.
680
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:30,830
I'd only just got over
the shock of the first.
681
00:29:30,833 --> 00:29:32,873
Have you ever had
a polyps, love?
682
00:29:32,867 --> 00:29:34,067
- Not that I know of.
683
00:29:34,067 --> 00:29:35,927
- They're like bloody snipers.
684
00:29:35,933 --> 00:29:39,073
Pop up when you least expect
it and cause naught but grief.
685
00:29:39,067 --> 00:29:40,767
Wouldn't wish it
on my worst enemy.
686
00:29:44,133 --> 00:29:45,173
- All right, Denise?
687
00:29:46,067 --> 00:29:47,097
- Fancy a drink, love?
688
00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:48,070
- Oh, no thanks.
689
00:29:48,067 --> 00:29:49,127
I'm not drinking.
690
00:29:50,233 --> 00:29:51,733
And before you ask,
691
00:29:51,733 --> 00:29:54,103
I don't want to meet you
in town for coffee, either.
692
00:29:54,100 --> 00:29:55,130
Nor lunch.
693
00:29:55,133 --> 00:29:57,873
Not even a nice little bistro.
694
00:29:57,867 --> 00:29:58,797
I don't like the cinema.
695
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,400
I hate walking in the park.
696
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:01,330
I despise sushi.
697
00:30:01,333 --> 00:30:02,573
I don't like cocktails
698
00:30:02,567 --> 00:30:03,997
and I don't want a
relationship, okay?
699
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,670
- I don't want a relationship.
700
00:30:05,667 --> 00:30:07,967
My bird's coming
in half an hour.
701
00:30:07,967 --> 00:30:11,427
Just thought you might
want a drink that's all.
702
00:30:11,433 --> 00:30:12,273
- Oops!
703
00:30:15,733 --> 00:30:17,733
- Oh, I'm a right idiot.
704
00:30:18,633 --> 00:30:19,473
- What's happened?
705
00:30:19,467 --> 00:30:21,627
(sighs)
706
00:30:21,633 --> 00:30:24,333
- I wish I was a bit more
like you sometimes, Shelley.
707
00:30:25,233 --> 00:30:26,173
- How do you mean?
708
00:30:26,167 --> 00:30:28,127
- You just don't take any shit.
709
00:30:28,133 --> 00:30:30,203
Nothing gets past you, does it?
710
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:31,370
I mean, obviously we all know,
711
00:30:31,367 --> 00:30:33,297
you let Greg get
away with murder but,
712
00:30:33,300 --> 00:30:35,430
but think about it.
713
00:30:35,433 --> 00:30:38,173
Everyone's got an Achilles
tendon, haven't they?
714
00:30:39,733 --> 00:30:40,703
- I suppose they have.
715
00:30:40,700 --> 00:30:41,970
- We're all a bit of pushover
716
00:30:41,967 --> 00:30:43,867
when it comes to
fellas, us birds.
717
00:30:43,867 --> 00:30:45,067
Doesn't take away from the fact
718
00:30:45,067 --> 00:30:47,597
that you're total
dynamite at work though.
719
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:48,400
Does it?
720
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:51,000
Oh, well.
721
00:31:00,733 --> 00:31:01,533
- Well?
722
00:31:05,433 --> 00:31:06,273
Ta da!
723
00:31:10,433 --> 00:31:11,273
Dan?
724
00:31:13,533 --> 00:31:14,773
You okay, love?
725
00:31:21,067 --> 00:31:21,827
Oh!
726
00:31:23,467 --> 00:31:24,297
- Oh?
727
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:27,600
Is that all you've got to say?
728
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,070
Oh?
729
00:31:29,067 --> 00:31:30,597
- If you just give
a chance to explain.
730
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:32,130
- Explain what?
731
00:31:32,133 --> 00:31:33,503
That you're a nut job?
732
00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:34,330
- Don't be ridiculous.
733
00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:35,633
- Go on then, explain.
734
00:31:36,667 --> 00:31:38,397
This is my wedding photo.
735
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:39,330
- I know.
736
00:31:39,333 --> 00:31:40,373
- You stole it.
737
00:31:40,367 --> 00:31:41,627
You nicked it from my house.
738
00:31:41,633 --> 00:31:42,873
You broke in.
739
00:31:42,867 --> 00:31:44,827
What else have you took,
you fuckin' weirdo?
740
00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:47,073
My toothbrush, my shoes.
741
00:31:47,067 --> 00:31:49,427
Pair of duds from
the washing basket.
742
00:31:49,433 --> 00:31:50,673
- You don't understand.
743
00:31:50,667 --> 00:31:52,067
- Oh, I think I do.
744
00:31:52,067 --> 00:31:53,267
- No, ya don't!
745
00:31:55,767 --> 00:31:57,927
You think it's been easy for me,
746
00:31:57,933 --> 00:32:00,833
since I lost Martin, and
then you're always here
747
00:32:00,833 --> 00:32:03,403
every five minutes,
oh, it's fine, Kate.
748
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,300
I'll get you new taps, Kate.
749
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:06,530
Of course I can, Kate.
750
00:32:06,533 --> 00:32:08,233
I'll keep a secret
with you, Kate.
751
00:32:08,233 --> 00:32:09,673
Anything you want, Kate.
752
00:32:09,667 --> 00:32:13,267
Oh, and you make a cracking
bacon sandwich, Kate.
753
00:32:13,267 --> 00:32:15,067
You were seducing me.
754
00:32:15,067 --> 00:32:16,867
And I fancied ya!
755
00:32:17,867 --> 00:32:18,797
What did you expect from me?
756
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:19,900
To run a mile?
757
00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:21,670
You've burgled my house.
758
00:32:21,667 --> 00:32:25,067
You've stuck your face,
on a photo of my wife.
759
00:32:25,067 --> 00:32:26,497
That's my wife!
760
00:32:26,500 --> 00:32:27,970
That's my wedding day.
761
00:32:27,967 --> 00:32:29,167
How dare you?
762
00:32:29,167 --> 00:32:30,397
- She doesn't want you anymore.
763
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:31,670
The sooner you see
it, the better.
764
00:32:31,667 --> 00:32:34,097
- You know nothing
about what Lisa wants.
765
00:32:34,100 --> 00:32:36,370
People move on, people change.
766
00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:41,070
I know you're angry and upset.
767
00:32:41,067 --> 00:32:42,897
But, that's just the
shock of seeing the photo.
768
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:44,070
It's just a photo.
769
00:32:44,067 --> 00:32:45,297
It's not real.
770
00:32:46,900 --> 00:32:48,830
You and I can move on
from this, Dan please.
771
00:32:48,833 --> 00:32:49,633
- You and I?
772
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:52,430
You and I?
773
00:32:52,433 --> 00:32:55,273
You really are a fuckin'
lunatic, aren't ya?
774
00:32:55,267 --> 00:32:56,327
- Just give me a chance.
775
00:32:56,333 --> 00:32:58,273
- You? (laughs)
776
00:32:58,267 --> 00:32:59,427
You got one chance.
777
00:32:59,433 --> 00:33:01,733
And that's no
chance, ya silly cow.
778
00:33:01,733 --> 00:33:03,433
We could make this
work though, Dan.
779
00:33:03,433 --> 00:33:04,433
I know it. Please.
780
00:33:04,433 --> 00:33:06,233
It was all bullshit, wasn't it?
781
00:33:06,233 --> 00:33:08,333
All that about Lisa and Jack.
782
00:33:08,333 --> 00:33:09,573
- No, I saw them kissing.
783
00:33:09,567 --> 00:33:12,367
Just 'cause you fancied
your chances with me.
784
00:33:12,367 --> 00:33:15,267
You could have
ruined my marriage.
785
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:22,070
What are you gonna do, eh?
786
00:33:22,067 --> 00:33:24,827
Bump me off, like you did your
poor bastard of a husband.
787
00:33:24,833 --> 00:33:26,603
I don't think so somehow.
788
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,170
You've got a head full
of fairground music,
789
00:33:28,167 --> 00:33:29,497
you have, haven't ya?
790
00:33:29,500 --> 00:33:30,300
You freak.
791
00:33:37,067 --> 00:33:37,867
Pathetic.
792
00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:48,400
- Can we have Barry and Sue
on the dance floor please?
793
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,130
(crowd applauds)
794
00:33:55,200 --> 00:34:00,130
Now we all know Barry and
Sue in one way or another.
795
00:34:00,133 --> 00:34:02,103
And we've all come here tonight
796
00:34:02,100 --> 00:34:05,870
to celebrate 40 years
of wedded bliss.
797
00:34:05,867 --> 00:34:07,597
- Stop talking shit.
798
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,230
(laughing)
799
00:34:10,233 --> 00:34:12,073
Thanks everyone for coming.
800
00:34:12,067 --> 00:34:15,727
And thanks for your patience
with the missing buffet.
801
00:34:15,733 --> 00:34:18,973
I can assure you, it's
on its way as we speak.
802
00:34:18,967 --> 00:34:20,167
Um.
803
00:34:20,167 --> 00:34:21,067
Well.
804
00:34:21,067 --> 00:34:22,727
I just like to say.
805
00:34:22,733 --> 00:34:24,873
Thanks, really.
806
00:34:24,867 --> 00:34:26,897
I suppose.
807
00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:28,200
To my mum and dad.
808
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:31,170
And sorry, 'cause I know
809
00:34:31,167 --> 00:34:33,067
I can be a bit of
a pain in the arse.
810
00:34:33,867 --> 00:34:34,897
Oh, I'm so sorry.
811
00:34:34,900 --> 00:34:36,300
This is shit.
812
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:37,970
- It's great, carry on.
813
00:34:37,967 --> 00:34:42,327
Well, basically they bought
me whatever I wanted,
814
00:34:42,333 --> 00:34:44,933
every single Christmas,
since I was naught,
815
00:34:46,067 --> 00:34:48,427
which is so bloody kind.
816
00:34:48,433 --> 00:34:52,103
And my mum helps
me with me washing.
817
00:34:52,100 --> 00:34:54,470
'Cause I just can't do it
without shrinking things
818
00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:56,197
and running the colors together.
819
00:34:56,200 --> 00:35:00,830
Ask Dan how badly I ruin his
shirts when he gets here.
820
00:35:01,967 --> 00:35:03,797
Honest, just ask.
821
00:35:09,133 --> 00:35:12,473
And my dad, he keeps
our garden so neat.
822
00:35:13,700 --> 00:35:15,430
'Cause Dan can't do it you see,
823
00:35:15,433 --> 00:35:17,973
'cause he's allergic to grass.
824
00:35:17,967 --> 00:35:19,497
(laughing)
825
00:35:19,500 --> 00:35:22,300
And I wish he would hurry up,
so that you could ask him.
826
00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:25,200
I just wish he'd hurry up.
827
00:35:31,467 --> 00:35:33,067
Mum.
828
00:35:33,067 --> 00:35:34,267
Dad.
829
00:35:34,267 --> 00:35:35,097
Thank you.
830
00:35:37,567 --> 00:35:39,567
I just think you're ace.
831
00:35:40,767 --> 00:35:44,067
- Round of applause
for Lisa, everyone.
832
00:35:49,833 --> 00:35:53,373
And now I'm gonna put
on a very special song.
833
00:35:53,367 --> 00:35:56,427
For the very wonderful
Mr. and Mrs. H.
834
00:35:56,433 --> 00:35:58,773
- Oh, it's all right, Mum.
835
00:35:58,767 --> 00:36:00,427
It's just the lager talking.
836
00:36:01,267 --> 00:36:02,097
Go on.
837
00:36:05,967 --> 00:36:08,227
(cheering)
838
00:36:14,967 --> 00:36:16,467
* I'm a girl
839
00:36:16,467 --> 00:36:19,067
* You're a man
840
00:36:20,167 --> 00:36:21,897
- Please, Shell,
just dance with me.
841
00:36:28,300 --> 00:36:30,530
(chuckles)
842
00:36:31,733 --> 00:36:33,803
- Hey, love, where was I?
843
00:36:38,100 --> 00:36:40,330
- Oi, get your
hands off my missus.
844
00:36:43,167 --> 00:36:44,067
- Oh! Jim!
845
00:36:50,667 --> 00:36:52,097
- Can we go outside?
846
00:36:52,100 --> 00:36:52,930
- What? Now?
847
00:36:52,933 --> 00:36:53,773
- Yeah. Now.
848
00:36:53,767 --> 00:36:54,597
- Too right.
849
00:37:00,667 --> 00:37:02,867
Fancy a jive, my love?
850
00:37:02,867 --> 00:37:04,067
- I'll jive with you, Terry.
851
00:37:04,067 --> 00:37:05,327
But you've got
another think coming,
852
00:37:05,333 --> 00:37:06,573
if you think it's gonna lead
853
00:37:06,567 --> 00:37:08,697
to anything to do
with your truncheon.
854
00:37:16,633 --> 00:37:17,633
- No Greg.
855
00:37:17,633 --> 00:37:18,303
- I'll be taking
'em off already.
856
00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:19,530
- Stop it.
857
00:37:19,533 --> 00:37:20,973
Stop it for one
minute, will you?
858
00:37:22,500 --> 00:37:23,330
- What's the matter?
859
00:37:23,333 --> 00:37:24,173
- It's us.
860
00:37:26,167 --> 00:37:27,267
I want to finish.
861
00:37:29,700 --> 00:37:30,870
- No, you don't.
862
00:37:30,867 --> 00:37:32,797
- I can't be with you anymore.
863
00:37:35,900 --> 00:37:37,570
And I'm leaving ya for good.
864
00:37:38,867 --> 00:37:39,697
This time.
865
00:37:41,067 --> 00:37:41,867
- Babes?
866
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:44,630
- You promised me no more lies.
867
00:37:44,633 --> 00:37:45,473
- I haven't lied.
868
00:37:45,467 --> 00:37:46,697
What have I lied about?
869
00:37:46,700 --> 00:37:47,970
- You had a car
crash, didn't you?
870
00:37:47,967 --> 00:37:49,867
You had a car crash.
871
00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:51,227
And you didn't even
tell me about it.
872
00:37:51,233 --> 00:37:52,933
Why wouldn't you tell me?
873
00:37:52,933 --> 00:37:55,633
- We were playing cards.
874
00:37:55,633 --> 00:37:56,573
I'm sorry.
875
00:37:56,567 --> 00:37:57,827
I thought you'd kick off.
876
00:37:57,833 --> 00:38:00,303
- So, you lied and said
you were mugged instead.
877
00:38:00,300 --> 00:38:01,830
Can you not see how bad that is?
878
00:38:01,833 --> 00:38:03,073
It's twisted.
879
00:38:03,067 --> 00:38:05,567
But, you can't help
yourself, can you?
880
00:38:05,567 --> 00:38:08,067
Nothing is normal anymore.
881
00:38:08,067 --> 00:38:11,227
You have fucked it all up.
882
00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:15,403
And I don't want this anymore.
883
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:16,330
- But you love me.
884
00:38:16,333 --> 00:38:17,703
- No, it's not enough.
885
00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:18,500
- You love me, don't you?
- Greg, I said,
886
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:20,600
it is not enough, Greg.
887
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,500
I can't live like this.
888
00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:24,130
Bricking it, when the
postman comes around
889
00:38:24,133 --> 00:38:27,073
to bring me a parcel,
that's your fault.
890
00:38:27,067 --> 00:38:30,597
That bastard that came round,
he nearly broke my jaw.
891
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,330
Every time there's
a knock on the door.
892
00:38:32,333 --> 00:38:33,703
I think, that it's
him coming back round
893
00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:35,600
to knock my teeth
in or something.
894
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,430
And he took my car.
895
00:38:37,433 --> 00:38:38,273
What else, Greg?
896
00:38:38,267 --> 00:38:39,727
What else?
897
00:38:39,733 --> 00:38:42,603
And they are gonna come and
take it and it's all your fault.
898
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:43,730
I've had enough.
899
00:38:45,833 --> 00:38:49,773
Yes, Greg, I love ya.
900
00:38:52 63013
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