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[ Bell Rings ]

[ Male Voice ]
Welcome to San Francisco,
the city by the bay,

home to
30,000 fire hydrants,

4,000,000 tennis balls...

and very liberal
pooper scooper laws.

My name is Lucky.

I'm a dog,
in case you hadn't guessed,
and I belong to this man.

You remember
Dr. Dolittle, right?

The guy who can
talk to animals?

If you don't,
let me jog your memory.

He's a doctor,
and he talks to animals.

Well, anyways,
he's busier than ever.

Doctor, you've got
Mr. Carson at 10:00
for a full workup.

Mr. Wennington's
E.K.G. is at 12:00.

Mrs. Bloom called.
She's got a bad rash.
I told her 11:15.

- I gotcha.
- Buster's got a deworming
at 12:30.

Misty's kennel cough is back.
I put her at 1:00. Afternoon--
wall-to-wall neuters.

You've got
the Rotary Club
dinner tonight.

- [ Lucky ] The Kennel Club
breakfast tomorrow.
- Push Mr. Carson to 11:00.

I will deworm Buster at 12:00,
do the E.K.G. at 12:30.
Move Misty to 1:15.

And stop mixing up my charts.
Last week you almost had me
neutering Mr. Panitch.

From what I hear, you'd be
doing Mrs. Panitch a favor.

Any time, ladies.
Thank you.

No matter how busy he got,
Doc always found time
to help animals.

Hi. My name is Bandit.

Hi, Bandit.
How you doin',
Bandit?

[ Sniffles ]
And I'm a stray.

[ Dogs In Unison ]
That's okay. We're all strays.

I know how hard it is
the first time to get up there.
Take your time.

- One paw at a time, Bandit.
- Right. Never give up hope.

Never, ever give up hope.
Not just Bandit.
All you dogs, listen to me.

Every dog here can find a family
and be somebody's best friend.

Let me hear you say that.
Say, "I am somebody's
best friend."

- [ Dogs ]
I'm somebody's best friend!
- One more time. Again.

I am somebody's
best friend!

[ Dogs ]
I am somebody's
best friend!

That's right.
That's right.

Also, there's a family
out in North Beach that's
trying to find a good watchdog,

somebody that's housebroken
and great with kids.

Any of you guys got
a background in security?

Oh, that'd be Rusty.
Rusty's a watchdog.

- Who's Rusty?
- Rusty, tell-- Oh, no.

Rusty!
This better be important.

No, uh,
never mind, Rusty.

It says, "Must not
lick ass all the time."

[ Lucky Narrating ]
Every zoo in the country
had a job for the Doc.

He was especially good
at matters of the heart.

How long's it been
since you guys made
little baby turtles?

[ Male ]
Oh, not that long.
Maybe 20 years.

[ Female ]
It'll be 48 years
next Monday.

Okay, I see the problem here.
I know what to do. Listen.

I'm gonna give you these pills.
I want you to crush 'em up
and put 'em in your food.

- Oh, yeah?
What do they do?
- Oh!

[ Male ]
Oh, yeah!
You're looking fine!

Comin' at ya, baby!

[ Lucky Narrating ]
In fact, he became
an international celebrity,

traveling from Alaska
to Australia.

[ Whispering ]
I'm here with the world-famous
Dr. Dolittle,

who actually speaks
with animals.

Now, what we're gonna do
is sneak up on...

and rescue
this unsuspecting
alligator.

But we'll have to be quiet
so he doesn't know we're here.
[ Alligator Roars ]

The trick with catching
this alligator is
to be wary of those teeth.

Huge, penetrating teeth.
[ Alligator ]
Hey, Dolittle.

See, what I'm doin' is
allowin' Steve to think that
I don't know he's back there.

Wait until
he tries to grab me.

Turn on him and, Bob's
your uncle, bite his arm off!
[ Sinister Chuckling ]

I'm gonna have to get
my arm around his neck
and hang on--

Steve, I think he knows
we're over here.

Shh! I don't want to blow
the element of surprise.
Now!

- [ Roars ]
- Oh!

[ Steve ]
Oh, crikey! Me arm!
[ Alligator Burps ]

[ Lucky Narrating ]
Yeah, it seemed everybody wanted
a piece of the good doctor.

And his family understood.

Well, most of them did.

But we'll get to that part
in a minute.
Thank you.

Right now
I gotta answer the door.
[ Muttering ]

Yeah? Who's there?

It's me.
I forgot my key.
Open up.

[ Lucky ]
Then I guess you'll have to beg.
Come on, boy! Beg!

Get it?
Role reversal.

'Cause usually
it's the human t-that says
to the dog, uh--

I know you'd better
open up the door before I--

Just open the door, Lucky.

-Seeing as you're the one that
feeds me, I'm gonna let you in.
-Okay, thank you. Thank you.

Guess who's back
from France!

John?
Hey!

Hey!
How you doin'?
Hi, sweetie.

[ Grunting ]

I got you a present
from Paris.
That's for me?

Yes, that's for you.
That's for us.
Oh!

[ Laughs ]
I can enjoy
this present as well.

You know what would be
a really nice present, though?
What's that?

If you could keep
that flock of your faithful
away from the building.

I'm sorry.
I'll talk to 'em later.

Daddy!
Hey, baby!
How you doin'?

I got you a little present
from Mexico.

Gracias.
I wonder what it is.

Aah! Earthquake!
9-1-1! ¡ Nueve-uno-uno!

Oh, no, no.
I wouldn't shake it.
Ow! My spleen!

Ooh, that hurt.
Oh, he's so cute.
Thanks, Dad.

Hey, this isn't
Puerto Vallarta.

It's a chameleon.
It can change color against
different backgrounds.

[ Chameleon ]
The blendmaster
is in the house!

I gonna disappear!
Now you see me-- Poof!
Now you don't, eh?

- No, we can still see you.
- I'm not gone?
I'm not invisible?

You did remember
Charisse's birthday?

I sure did.
You remember to get the cake
from Stinson's?

Uh, actually,
Charisse doesn't want to have
a family birthday party.

What's that about?
I thought we always
celebrate together.

- [ Chameleon ]
You have anything green?
- Take this thing to your room.

Guacamole?
A big pickle?

- She's got a date.
- [ Chameleon ]
I suck.

- A date? With who?
- I didn't ask.
She's a big girl now, John.

We'll see
about this date thing.

Where's
the birthday girl at?
Uh, she's unreachable.

What?
Where is she?

She's in her room
with the door locked
and headphones on.

- You could try paging her.
- She's in the house,
and she's unreachable?

I'm supposed to page her
in my house. I'm gonna page
somebody in my own house?

Okay, we'll see
if I'm gonna page some--
I ain't pagin' nothin'!

Careful, Doc, she's 16.
That's a tough age.

Hey!
Charisse, open this door!

Can you believe this?

Hey!
Try her cell.

I'm not callin'
on the cell phone
while she's in her bedroom.

[ Rattling Doorknob ]

Hey! Charisse.

Open the door!

Okay. All right!
Okay! Okay!

- [ Growling ] Charisse!
- ** [ Headphones: R&B ]

Charisse!
[ Slurping, Hiccuping ]

[ Chuckles ]
Those teenagers, Doc.
They can drive a man to drink.

Hey, what are you drinkin'?

Gatorade.
Oh, really?
Give it to me.

Hmph!

Gatorade make wine now, huh?

- Naaaah!
- You better slow down.

- Which one of you
is Dolittle?
- What now?

- I have a message
from the boss.
- From the who?

The boss, the guard beaver.
Now, save the questions
and come with me.

You guys know the rules.
You just don't come up here
on my balcony.

Make an appointment.
You make an appointment!
Now, go.

You tell the beaver
make an appointment
just like everybody else.

I can't tell him that.
I'll end up sleepin'
with the fishes.

How's it gonna look
in the paper when Dr. Dolittle
throws a possum off the roof?

That's not gonna look right.
Now, leave, 'cause I will.
Watch your tone, buddy.

[ Muffled ]
Charisse!

- ** [ Continues ]
- [ Phone Ringing ]

- Talk.
- This is Daddy.
How are you?

Hey!
I got a couple
of questions for you.

I wanna know how come I
gotta climb up the side
of a building...

and get on a cell phone
to talk to you!
Calm down. Where are you?

[ Muffled ]
I'm outside of the building,
right here!

Dad! Dad,
what are you doing?

What am I doing?
It's the only way
I can reach you!

What are you doing in here?
What's all of that about?

You don't do that
in public, do you?
Dance? Of course.

That's not dancing.
That's advertising.

What's this about you don't
want to spend your birthday
with your family?

Having dinner with your family
is something you do
when you're young,

not when you're turning 16.

- Besides, I have a date.
- You can bring your date 'cause
you're comin' to dinner.

Cool! Eric, these are
my parents and my little sister.
They're joining us on our date.

No, he's gonna be joining us
at a family event.
We have it every year.

I don't even know why--

What's this?
Dad, that's private.

I can see why it's private.
It's embarrassing.
You got two C's and a D.

Embarrassing?
[ Chuckles ]

Dad, you are the last person
who should be talking about
anything being embarrassing.

What are you talking about?
What's that supposed to mean?

[ Screeches, Hiccups ]

I'm supposed to stop my work
helping the animals because
you find it embarrassing?

- That's not gonna happen.
- That's right.
It's not gonna happen.

So forget about it.
You're comin' to dinner.
Look at this.

- No cell phone for a week.
- What am I supposed to do
without my cell phone?

Here's some stamps.
Learn how to write a letter.
You think I care?

Do I look like I care?
Look at me. No, Charisse.

No.
Look at me.
Do I look like I care?

Look. I don't care.

This is unbelievable.
She has 50 numbers in here,
not one of them is mine.

You shouldn't be
looking at that.
Why not?

"Biggie Mack, cell.
Biggie Mack, pager.
Biggie Mack, home."

Who the hell
is Biggie Mack?
I don't know, John.

I'm gonna find out
who Biggie Mack is.
I don't like that name.

What the hell
kind of name is that?

[ Phone Rings ]

What is that?
Marcus's cell phone.

Cell phone?
Mm-hmm.

When did he get
a cell phone?
Last week.

What are you doing? John!
Shh! I'm checkin' out
Biggie Mack.

- Hello.
- Hey, who is this?

- Well, who is this?
- Is this Biggie Mack?

- Who wants to know?
- Hey, I'm asking
the questions here, punk!

What?
How old are you?

None of your
damn business.

- What if I make it my business
to find out how old you are?
- Are you threatening me?

I don't make threats!
I'm promising you
that if you ever--

John!
Is this
John Dolittle?

Hi, I'm so sorry.
That's a wrong number.

That's a grown man
on the other end
of that phone.

I wish I could say
the same thing about you.

[ Doorbell Ringing ]
The door.

I hear the door.
Go get that door
right now!

Who am I, Mr. French?
I got to get doors?

* Let me show you
what it is right now *
Just a minute.

* Chicks are switching
like kicks right now *

Hey, Dr. D.
What's up? It's me.

Me? Who's "me"?
Back up, "me."

I'm sayin',
you gonna let me in?

Dr. D.
What's goin' on?
Excuse me?

Remember me?
Eric, Domino's Pizza.

Extra cheese, anchovies,
tomatoes, guacamole?
You're the pizza guy, yeah.

- I delivered that.
- Thanks a lot, man.
I forget to give you a tip?

I'm sorry.
No, no, that's cool.

- You gave me something
a little better than a tip.
- I'm gonna take care of you.

It's nice to have
a little--
What's up, baby?

What's goin' on?
You ready?
Hold on. Wait.

This is your date?
Dad, Eric. Eric, Dad.

[ Chuckling ]
My man. What's up?

Uh, Eric?
Hmm, no.

We have to stay here
with the family
and eat dinner.
Huh?

It's cool with me.
Hey, Charisse,
now, don't be like that.

You gonna ruin dinner
for everybody. Come on now.

You know what, pops?
Don't even sweat that, man.
I know how to take care of her.

Pops?
* Yeah *

* She caught me by surprise
I must say **

Charisse has always had
a mind of her own.

When she was about a year and
a half, she decided she wasn't
gonna wear diapers anymore.

- Remember that?
- John.

She started having accidents
around the house 'cause she
didn't have it down yet.

We had little piles--
Dad, you just had to
go there, didn't you?

This is family.
We're talkin' the old days.
It's cool.

I'm actually learnin'
something here.
Really?

You know what's interesting?
You never learned to take off
your hat at the dinner table.

Isn't your head getting hot?
Mine's just getting hot just
looking at you in that hat.

Sixteen!

Just think. In two years
you'll be out of this house
and on your way to college.

One year, ten months,
sixteen days.
You know what?

Berkeley's
a really close college.

- You could live at home
and save some money.
- That's a good idea.

But I've already reserved
a U-Haul for the day
I graduated high school.

- Oh. You reserved
a U-Haul already?
- Uh, Dad?

Someone to see you.

Yo, step outside.

Thank you, sweetie.
Excuse me, darling.

Bye, Dad.
Love you.
I love you too.

Excuse me, Eric.

Hey, hey, yo.
Yo, down here. Okay.

What do you want?

First, let me say the beaver
sends birthday greetings
to your lovely daughter.

Really? That's very nice.
You go and tell the beaver he's
starting to get on my nerves.

What are you getting all bent
out of shape for? He only
wants a moment of your time.

What if I say no?
I don't think you want to go
down that road, my friend.

- [ Knocks On Window ]
- Go and tell the beaver,
8:00, my office, tomorrow.

Oh, the beaver
don't travel for nobody.

He knows you're a busy man,
and he will remember this,

but this is truly
a life-or-death situation.

All right, shut up, listen.
My car, 7:00 a.m.
All right?

Hey, this is good news.
The beaver likes good news.

- Thank you.
- Jimmy, get the car.

* Happy birthday to you *

* Happy birthday *

[ All ]
* Happy birthday
Dear Charisse *

* Happy birthday *

* Happy birthday to you **

[ Applause ]
Come on, blow your candles out
and make a wish.

- [ Girls Scream ]
- [ Rat #1 ] Sweet...
- [ Rat #2 ] Surprise!

Happy birthday!
It's your birthday!
It's your birthday!

There's a mouse
in the house!

Give me that!
I am licking the candles!

Well, you can lick
my fat, funky little--
Hey, don't be a piggy!

- Charisse, I am so sorry.
- Ooh! Ooh, ouch!
Hey, watch the fur, buddy!

We're tryin' to do somethin'
nice for your daughter.

I bet if a little kitty
popped out, you'd say,
"Oh, how cute!"

But you're not.
[ Rat #1 ]
Put me down!

- You're not a couple
of cute little kitties.
- Yes, we are.

You're two
disgusting rats...
No, we're not.

that just ruined
the birthday cake.
So you wanna get personal?

Well, you know what "rats"
spelled backward is?
It's star!

[ Rat #1 ]
That's right! I'm a star!
Is that right?

- Well, do you know what
"ha" spells backwards?
- Uh, no, I don't have any--

[ Rats ]
Aaaaah!
Exactly!

Could it be?
Yes, it is!

Diapers!
My favorite!
Chocolate!

Say, "Maya."
Maya.

Maya.
Maya.

What do you think
you're doing?

I think he's about
to say something.
Bring me a bone.

And a large order of flies.

Super-size.

You will bring me ham,
luncheon meats, cold cuts.

Lucky, out.
Hey.

- Maya, can I talk to Charisse
alone for a second.
- Okay. Come on, boy.

[ Sighs ]
Charisse, look,
I'm sorry about tonight.

I'm thinking about cutting back
a little bit and spending
more time with you guys.

Great, now more animals
will be here.

What if we don't stay here?
We can go on a big vacation
to Europe, the whole family.

Are you serious?
I'm dead serious.

We can go to Paris, Rome,
the Greek islands.
We always talked about that.

What do you think?

Is this a bribe?

Yes, this is a bribe.

It's working.

Yo, Doc,
one other thing--
Tomorrow!

- What?
- Tomorrow.

Tomorr--
Yeah.

European vacation.
So, tomorrow-- Tomorrow!
We're going to Europe tomorrow.

* Do do do-do-do-do-do
Do-do-do, do-do-do *

* So you on the road *
* I'm on the road *

* You must explode *

* And have some fun
People, have some fun *

[ Lucky Narrating ]
So, Doc, the raccoon and
the possum took a road trip...

to meet
this mysterious beaver.

Nice wheels.
What do you call
this thing?

- Oh, this is a Mustang.
- Yo, Doc, is there a car
named after me?

- No, I don't think
they make a Possum.
- Why not?

Not a lot of cars
named after rodents.

* So you're on the road *
* I'm on the road *

* You must explode *

* And have some fun **

[ Raccoon ] I wanna go over
a couple ground rules for when
you're in the beaver's presence.

Number one:
No sudden movements.

Number two:
Do not stare at his teeth.

Between you and me,
he's got a little bit
of an overbite.

I personally think
he needs braces,
but I'm not a dentist.

Numbers three through ten:
You will treat him
with the respect he deserves.

Capisce?
[ Dolittle ] We're talkin'
about a beaver, right?

Hey, Doc!
Hey, Tootie,
how you doin'?

-Hey, Doctor, how are you?
-Back away from him, Jimmy.
Show some respect, you animals.

Look, the raccoon got
the doctor.
He says he's a
miracle worker.

Hello?
[ Raccoon ]
Paulie, get the boss ready.

[ Paulie ]
I'm doing everything
like you say, Joey.

I'm just, I'm gonna
go get some acorns.

Eh, Dr. Dolittle,
I presume.

Welcome to my den.
Would you like a fish?

Oh, no, thank you.
I've eaten already.

Hey, the beaver
offers you a fish,
you take the fish.

Joey, shut up.
Sorry, boss.

I've heard good things
about you from some of
the Bay Area families.

From the Bay Area families.
Really? [ Chuckles ]

What are you guys,
some kind of mafia?
Mafia? No.

- We don't know nothin'
about no mafia, do we, boys?
- Nah, never heard of it.

No, that's a myth.

I'm just a simple fisherman
who's blessed with many friends.

Perhaps you
will be one of them.

What do you guys
want from me?
Well,
I'm losing my territory.

What, the other animals
movin' in on you
or somethin'?

Yeah, the human kind.
They're cuttin' down our homes,
bustin' up families.

Word is they're cuttin' down
the whole forest.

Guys, you're talking
to the wrong person.

You need to contact
one of those nature groups
like the Sierra Club or, um--

It has to be you, Doc.

You're the only one
who knows how to speak human.

Yeah, we can't fight humans
on our own. They got guns
and knives and pullout couches.

Sure, I got rabies.
I could bite somebody.
But I can only do so much!

You guys have no idea what
I'm talking about, do you?
Sure, I do.

It's man against nature.
But with you on our side,
I like the odds.

Me on your side?
I didn't say
I was gonna help you.

I didn't say.

Doctor, before you say no,
I would like you to see
what we're talkin' about.

[ Sniffling ]
It's gone.

Everything, gone.

How do you save a forest,
anyway?
It's not gonna be easy, John.

I would assume
the lumber companies
have a lot of clout.

But I do know if there were
a threatened or endangered
species living in the forest,

there are laws
that protect it.

How am I gonna find out
if there are any endangered
animals in the forest?

Well...
you could ask Eugene.

We found an endangered
species of bear.

A female whose mother
had been killed by poachers.

She's the only
Pacific Western bear
up there.

That's good. One bear
has to be protected, right?
Well, no.

The lawyers for Potter's
Logging Company argued that
since she's the only one there,

there's no chance for
survival of the species anyway.

There'd have to be a male too.
[ Female Voice ]
Pardon me.

Why don't we
get a male up there and
let nature take its course?

Unfortunately, the only male
Pacific Western bear we could
find was raised in captivity.

[ Giraffe ] Excuse me.
There's never been a bear
raised in captivity...

that's been successfully
reintroduced to the wild.

They've never had
the world-famous love doctor
makin' the introductions.

Psst!
Doctor.

Excuse me
a second.

Your man left
the barn door open.
Is somethin' wrong?

- Uh, d-- Eh--
- Oh, jeez.

Hope that Bam Bam
didn't see that.
Oh, I'm sure--

The giraffe is the one
that was disgusted.
I am so sorry.

[ Male Singer ]
* Told myself that
you'd probably *

* Need some time and *

* Maybe then
you would come *

- * To change your mind *
- I know you're disappointed.

** [ Continues ]
Disappointed?

About not going to Europe?

Now, Dad, why would I
be disappointed?

I made you a promise.
I'm gonna stick to it.

If you don't want me to do this,
I'll understand. Okay?

Like I can actually say no
and not feel guilty
for the rest of my life.

-[ Maya ] When do we leave?
-As soon as we get a court order
stopping the clear-cutting.

Who's gonna
argue the case?

Wh-Why you
lookin' around?
Me?

What, me?
Not me. You.

- No, n-n-n-no.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

- No, no, John.
- Yes, yes, yes.

- No. Don't make me do this.
- Come on. For the animals.

[ Mock Whimpering ]
Do it for the animals.
I don't do animal law.

That's species-ism.
You're a species-ist.

You're a species-ist!

No, Your Honor,
we're simply asking
for an injunction...

so that we might
have the chance
to save a species.

[ Chuckles ]
Your Honor,

this is a delaying tactic-
slash-publicity stunt.

I have affidavits signed
by a range of experts...

who all concur that to take
a bear raised in captivity and
reintroduce it into the wild...

is, well, dangerous
and irresponsible.

Simply put, a bear
raised by "circus folk"...

wouldn't know
how to feed itself
or interact with real bears,

let alone make it
through its first winter.

No, it would certainly succumb
to Darwin's law of nature:
survival of the fittest.

Actually--
Well, yeah,
but Darwin never met my dad.

Young lady,
that's inappropriate behavior.

And just who is your father?

Sir-- Your Honor, that's me.
I'm her father.
Name's Dolittle.

Dr. Dolittle.

[ Spectators
Murmuring ]
Dr. Dolittle.

Do you feel you could
rehabilitate a tame bear...

and mate it in the wild
with a female?

Yes, I do, Your Honor.

In that case, I'll grant
a one-month delay on the
harvesting of Campbell's Grove.

For one month, Dr. Dolittle.
That's it.

Thank you, sir.
And, Doctor,

if that bear should so much
as set one paw in a campsite
or this town,

I'll rescind this order
immediately.

I understand completely.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Thank you.

Thank you, Your Honor.
[ Gavel Bangs ]

Doctor! Dr. Dolittle!
Over here!
Dr. Dolittle!

Dr. Dolittle,
you speak to both domestic
and wild animals.

Can a circus bear
relate to a forest bear?

Well, I don't know
much about him except that
he's been living in captivity,

so I'm sure he'll be really
happy to return to the wild.

[ Mouths Words ]

[ Lucky Narrating ]
So much for a family vacation.

But Doc figured,
how hard could this be?

That was before
he met Archie.

** [ Rock ]

**
[ Emcee ]
Ladies and gentlemen,
he's the bear with flair,

**
the walkin' rug
with an adorable mug--
Archie the bear!

[ Motorcycle Engine Revs ]
[ Archie ]
* Get your motor runnin' *

* Head out on the highway *

- They love me. Go.
- [ Revving Continues ]

* Born to be wi-i-i-ild *

[ Crash ]
[ Archie ]
Ow! Gee!

* And that's the show **

[ Archie ]
Whew! Big-boned gal, huh?

Oh. [ Chuckles ]
Yeah, I guess so.

Got any action shots?
You know what I'm talkin' about.

No, I don't, but listen,
you'd be lucky to wind up
with somebody like her.

Look, I have had
so many girlfriends, you know--
[ Chuckles ]

Okay, look,
I've never had a girlfriend.
Just bring her by on Monday.

That's when I'm dark.
Okay?

I can't bring her here.
You have to go to her.

- Whoa, whoa.
Go to her? Where?
- Um, she's in the forest.

Ooh, uh,
I don't play forests.

I'm strictly a state fair,
small arena-type bear.

Archie, do you know
what kind of bear you are?
Um, let's see. Yes.

I'm a singer.
Dancer-- three years tap,
two years jazz.

No, Archie, you're
an endangered species.

Is that a threat, buddy?
Because my lawyer
will be down here--

No, I'm not threatening you.
You're a very rare bear.

- You're a Pacific Western bear.
You know what that is?
- Yes, I know what--

I can play any kind of bear.
I've got range. Grizzly, panda.
Here, check out my polar.

- I am freezing! It is cold!
- I haven't made it clear.
Let me break it down to you.

- Your ancestors come from
the mountains of California.
- Yes, blah, blah, blah.

When you were six months old,
they took you
from your mother...

and taught you
to wiggle your hips
to a recording of "Hound Dog."

No, no, I taught myself that.
I admit I pander,
because I'm a pander bear!

Get it? Ha ha ha!

Pander!
Yeah, that's funny stuff,
Archie.

But listen, what I'm
proposing to you is,

I'd like to take you back to
where your ancestors roamed,

get you out in the woods
and teach you to be a real bear.

Look, I like the bear I am.
Okay? I'm famous!

Have you been to the gift shop?
I have my own beanie baby.

You do this, you'll be
the most famous bear
in all the world.

- Bigger than Pooh?
- Are you kidding me?

You pull this off,
they'll be saying,
"Winnie the who?"

You got yourself a bear.

And in what must be
one of the most unusual
stories of the year,

Dr. John Dolittle
is trying to rewrite
the laws of nature...

by attempting to reintroduce
a performing bear into the wild.

In doing so, he hopes
to save an entire forest
from destruction.

It's Darwin
versus Dolittle.

Oh, get over
yourself.

Governor,
I've got two lumber mills
waiting for that wood.

I understand, Joe,
but it's complicated.

Especially if that
endangered bear survives.

I don't meet my quota, Governor,
you're the one
who's gonna be endangered.

Now, now, J.P.,
not to worry.

That ridiculous bear
is bound to screw up
at least once.

And when he does,
you'll have yourself
a new trophy.

And I've got
just the place to put him.

[ Male Singer ]
* It's Saturday
Get the car shined up *

[ Woman ]
And?
* Haircut lined up *

[ Woman ]
What you gonna wear, y'all?
* Haven't made my mind up *

* Better post one size up
and tie it up *
That's right.

* Hope she'll be there *

* I wonder how
she'll wear her hair *
What you gon' do?

* If I see her, I swear *

* I'm gon' put the gate down
like, yeah *

[ Backup Singers ]
* I'm looking good *
* Looking for someone **

[ Lucky Narrating ]
So we all moved to the forest
and waited for Archie to arrive.

While the family got settled,
it was time I started
looking out for number one.

[ Chuckles ] Huh?
* Doo-do-do-do-doo **

This looks like
as good a place as any.

Ah, the simple pleasures
of life.

Holy lord!
That wolf is a fox!

I hope I don't have dog breath,
you know, from lickin' my own--
Never mind.

Oh, you like that, huh?
Yeah, that was me.
[ Chuckles ]

Plenty more
where that came from.

- [ Growls ]
- "Grr" to you, too.

What is that, some kind of
secret wild lady dog code
for "You like me"?

Yeah, I do some dancin'.

Here's a little move
I call the back-scratcher.
Pretty cool, huh?

H-Hey, hot lady, wait.
Where you goin'?

Call me!

[ Lucky Narrating ]
And so, the big day
finally came,

and I had a feeling
the fur was gonna fly.

[ Dolittle ]
Okay, everybody,
you all know why we're here.

We're about to try
to do something that's
never been done before.

Everyone thinks
we can't pull this off,

and they got
their blades sharpened
and their trucks ready to roll.

But we're gonna
prove 'em wrong, right?

That's right.
Now I want everybody
to put their claws together.

How about a big round
of applause for the bear
that's gonna lead the way?

Let's hear it
for Archie!

- [ Animals Murmuring ]
- Yeah! Come on!

Are you ready
to save the forest?

* Put your paws up
Put your paws up
Come on, now *

Is this
some kind of joke?

Hey, I wanna go serious on ya
for a second.

I know I've got my work cut out
for me, but with your help
I know one thing--

[ Whispers ]
Now. Go.

** [ Piano Intro ]

** [ Up-tempo Disco ]

[ Off-key ]
* I will survive *

* Yes, I will survive *

* As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive *

* Yes, I will survive *

* As long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive **

Everybody!

- ** [ Archie Humming ]
- We're dead.

- Nevermore.
- This show's over.

- Let's go fool around.
- You got your work
cut out for you, Doc.

** [ Fades ]
I'm done.
Turn it off.

You're not a real bear.
You're Wayne Newton
in a bear suit.

So dirty.
Look at my paws.

It's the woods, Archie.
Its chief component is dirt.

Wait.
Hey, Doc, is that her?
She's a babe.

Yeah,
that's her.
Oh.

Look at the way she moves.
Man, would I love
to see her wet.

I'm gonna go over
and introduce you.
You just wait over there.

Yeah, good.

Hey, tell her
I really dig her fat pouch,
but don't be crude.

I'll try
to work that in.
Okay, good.

Wait, hey--
Gah!

[ Female Bear ]
Oh, are you coming over here?
I'm a little busy foraging.

Hi. Hello.
My name is John.
Hi.

- I'm Ava.
- Hi, Ava. That's a pretty name.
Nice to meet you.

Hi.
Hey, uh,
quick question, Ava.

How would you like to meet
the man of your dreams?

You're real cute,
but I don't go interspecies.

I'm not talkin' about me.
I shouldn't have said "man."
I should've said "bear."

The bear of your dreams.
What do you think of that big,
magnificent hunk of bear there?

Um, I don't think
I see him.

Oh, is he standing
behind that dork?

Oh, no, he is--
Look, let me explain to you
what's going on, all right?

There's a logging company
that's gonna tear down
this whole forest, everything.

The only thing that can stop 'em
is if I can get two
Pacific Western bears together.

You're a Pacific Western bear,
and so is he.

If I can get the two of you
together and you made little
Pacific Western bears, then--

You see where I'm going
with this?
Uh-huh, yeah.

Look, no offense,
but I don't talk to bear pimps.

At least let me call him over
so you can meet him.
Archie, come over here.

Hey, Johnny, there you are.
Come on, man. I thought
we were gonna go work out.

Jeez.

- Okay, Archie, you're on.
- What do I say to her?

- Get to know her a little.
Tell her about yourself.
- Hi! I'm Archie.

[ Nervous Chuckle ]
I like moonlit walks
on the beach,

uh, sharing slop buckets
with that special someone,

and the soulful sounds
of the Backstreet Boys.

- You're very weird.
- Weird, as in sexy?

No, just weird.

Hey, Archie, uh, why don't you
let me take it from here.

That was good.
Okay.

[ Archie Whispers ]
Damn!

- What do you think of Archie?
Cute, huh?
- Oh, don't make me eat you.

Stop that. I know he's a little
uncomfortable around the female
of the species at first, but--

That's not even really
the point.

You see, I need a real bear,
someone who can hunt and protect
and provide for me.

Oh. Okay.
I can understand that.

Oh, and I'm already
involved with someone.

Really? You have
a boyfriend already--
a "bearfriend."

- Are you in love?
- "Love"?

My cousin married for love.

The next thing she knows, he's
two-timing her with this little
grizzly in a cave up north.

Okay, so
you're not in love?
No.

All right, let's make a deal.
Don't make any decisions
for a month.

I'm gonna go work with Archie,
and in a month's time
I'm gonna turn that bear...

into a bear that you'll be proud
to have little bear cubs with.

Check it out!
I've flipped for you--

[ Crunch ]
Pinecone.
Gah!

Hey.
Hey.

[ Sighs ]

[ Inhales, Sighs ]
Perfect night.
[ Crickets Chirping ]

Sitting' out here, breathing
this fresh country air,
listening to the crickets chirp.

Yep.

You know
what the crickets
are saying?

I don't speak to the animals.
You're the one who
understands 'em, not me.

Little monkeys
don't come up to me
asking me for a 40-ounce.

I don't say, "Can I help you,
little animal? Need a shot?"
I don't do that, Dad.

I'm in my room listening
to music. You see me
talkin' to the animals?

Slow it down a second.

I was just gonna tell you
that crickets are nature's
thermometers, that's all.

You can tell how cold it is
by how fast they chirp.
Okay.

It seems a little cold
out here, doesn't it?
Yeah, a little nippy.

Maybe I need to
go get my vest. Yeah.

[ Distant Rhythmic Thumping ]

** [ Hip-Hop ]

[ Vehicle Approaching ]
** [ Car Stereo:
Hip-Hop Continues ]

[ Chattering, Laughing ]

Yo, Dr. Dre
is still the best.

Hey, and get a tuneup, man.
Get a tuneup.

- Yo, what's up, baby?
- Hey, Eric.

[ Car Races Away ]
Mmm!

H-H-- Hey! Hey!
You left your homey!

- What's up, Dr. D?
- I don't know, Eric.
Maybe you should tell me.

Yo, man, I came to visit.
Since y'all love me so much,
I was gonna stay a couple days.

No, no. Hell, no.
Charisse, I don't understand.

What's not to understand, Dad?
Uh, Eric with bags.
I don't understand that.

He's staying here
for a couple nights.
Mama said so.

Oh, your mother said so.
Oh, okay.

Eric, you gonna be on the floor
in the living room
in a sleeping bag,

if you don't have
a problem with that.

By the way, Eric,
I'm watchin' you.

And not just me.
I got eyes all around the woods.
You know I talk to the birds.

- Thanks, Dad.
- So watch your back.

[ Laughs ]
I feel you.
You feel me?
Okay. All right.

I'm watching--
I'm watching you, Eric!

I'm watching your back!

[ TV: Narrator ]
Bears are opportunistic eaters,
finding food wherever they can.

Can we please
see what else is on?

You need to watch this so you
can learn how to feed yourself
and survive during the winter.

What is he doin'?
Diggin'?

- You never even wondered what
your sharp claws was for?
- Uh, no.

[ Narrator ]
Bears are excellent
swimmers.

[ Shudders ]
Not this bear.

-I know you're not gonna tell me
you don't know how to swim.
-Wait, you haven't heard?

There's a new invention.
It's called... the boat!

That's the last straw.
We're gonna get up at dawn.
I'm teaching you how to fish.

How 'bout noon-ish?
Unbelievable.

[ Lucky Narrating ]
And so began the bear-athon,

a training mission so "grizzly,"
so un-bear-able, so hairy--
okay, that's enough.

Archie, let's do it.
This river's full of fish.
Let's go.

Yup.
So is Red Lobster.

Don't look at me,
look at the water.
That's where the fish are.

They're movin'.
Oh, man, one just touched me.
One just touched me!

Look, you big, furry baby,
put your face down right now
and grab a fish!

No!
I want you to do
just like you saw on TV.

Put your face
under the water
and catch a fish.

I'm here with you.
Go under the water.

All right!
I'll try it.

All right,
one, two, three--

[ Inhales Deeply ]

That's Archie!
What's up?
What's up?

What's up?
What's up?

[ Gurgling ]
Hey, fellas, what's up?

Okay, okay, get one.

- [ Gurgling ]
Can't breathe!
- Archie!

- Can't breathe!
- Hey!

Archie. Archie!

[ Grunting, Panting ]

[ Burps, Groans ]

How smart do you have to be to
lift your head out of the water
when you can't breathe?

I saw a light.
It was a bright light.
It was beautiful.

Okay, we're gonna take you
on a little trip right now
that's gonna toughen you up.

- What? What?
- We're gonna find something
even you can catch. Come on.

I saw my grandma.

Go on, eat.
Oh, I--

Come on, eat!
They're--
I don't eat, uh--

I'm good.
Thanks.

[ Sniffs ]
Okay, am I close?

- Cold.
- Use the Force.

- [ Archie ]
Colder? Warmer?
- Arctic.

So, how's it going?
It's going great. I'm not
even gonna need three weeks.

Honey, look,
he's already
foraging grapes.

Why's he walking away from 'em?
He's not walking away.
He's circling the grapes.

Why?
Are they dangerous grapes?

No, no, the grapes
aren't dangerous... Eric.

- [ Archie ] Seriously,
where are the grapes?
- Don't worry, he's doing great.

- We're right on schedule.
- I'm gettin' dizzy!

- Ohh! Oh! Oww!
- [ Crashing Down Stairs ]

I'm okay!
Concrete broke my fall!

Definite bruise.

[ Archie ]
Now, explain this again.

I'm supposed to climb
into a small, dark space
and sleep for six months?

That's what bears do.
It's called hibernation.

Sounds more like depression.
Wait, how do I eat?

Well, you don't eat.
What you do is, you eat
a lot during the summer.

That lasts you throughout
the whole winter.

- Where do I
go to the bathroom?
- No going to the bathroom.

- [ Laughing ]
What? You're kidding.
- I'm serious.

What you do is,
a week before you hibernate...

you start eating things
like dirt and moss
and hair and grass,

and it forms
a big plug in your, um--
it p-plugs up your, uh--

- Uh, you know.
- It blocks my butt?

Oh, yeah, it blocks it all up
with this big, nasty, hairy plug
of hair and grass.

It's a big, nasty plug.

Whoa, whoa, wait. You want me
to sleep for six months
with a big cork in my butt?

Yeah,
that's the idea of it.

- Okay, good-bye!
See ya later!
- Hey, Archie, come back here!

Nope, I'm gone!
See ya!
Archie!

Hey, headin' south?
Archie, look, nobody's gonna
pick up a hitchhiking bear.

I'll split the gas
and sit in the back
with the kids.

Come on, Archie, stop it.
I'm sorry, Doc.
This isn't working out.

I almost drowned.
Ava doesn't like me.

I'm tired of your complaining.
Look up in this tree.
What do you see, huh?

- [ Squawks ]
- Bird.

Right, a bird in his home.
And on the branch below him
there's a squirrel in his home.

And there's a little rabbit
in his home.

All these animals
are depending on you.

You can do this.
Just listen to
your inner bear.

Just trust him.
He'll tell you what to do.
Come on.

Okay, but I gotta tell ya,
my inner bear has a problem
with the butt plug.

All right,
I'm gonna show you
what happens to animals...

that don't
have a home.

[ Imitating Hannibal Lecter ]
Hello, Clarice.

Uh, Doc, this isn't necessary.
It's time for
a little tough love.

- Come on.
- Look, Iggy!

What's the matter, boy?
Couldn't make it
on the outside?

- Hey--
- [ Bear ]
Come on in, powder puff.

- Go on in there.
- But, wh-why?

There's a couple bears inside
that want to meet you.

I'll just sit over
on that side of the cell.

I'm tired of this madness.
[ Phone Rings ]

[ Archie ]
Don't be scared.
[ Bear ] I'll bite ya!

Yes, Dolittle.
Oh, hi, honey!

Don't like to hunt?
Don't like to fish?

You know what I would give
to be in the forest
instead of in this dump?

- Uh, Doc!
- Do I hear someone talkin'?

No, no.
See, that's the problem
with kids today-- no respect.

Kid think
he knows my life.

- I think he needs us
to teach him a lesson.
- N-No, I just--

I'm gonna give him a bear hug.
Get on over here and let me
give you a bear hug, Tiny.

No, it's actually
going quite well.

I think I finally got this
under c-- control.
[ Snapping ]

[ Bears ]
* Her name was Lola *
Yeah!

* She was a show bear *
Whoo!

Lisa, let me call you back.
* With yellow feathers
in her hair *

* And her dress
cut down to there *

Where?
* At
the Copa *
Yes!

* Copacabana *
Doc, apparently everyone
in this place loves musicals.

** [ Continues, Fades ]
[ Laughs ] I'm kidding.
I'll try harder.

[ Lucky Narrating ]
Meanwhile, while the cat's away,
the mice will play,

and by mice
I mean teenagers.

All right,
they still closed?
Yes.

Here they come.

[ Charisse ]
You did all this?

Okay, boys,
remember what the doc said.

If this punk
tries anything fresh,
we let him have it.

I got wings, legs,
tacos, whatever.

Taco?
Did somebody say taco?

No, no, blend in, blend in.
You're gonna blow our cover.

Charisse, there's somethin'
I been meanin' to do
ever since we got out here.

Oh, really.
What's that?

This.

[ Male Singer ]
* You never know one moment *

- [ Raccoon ] Now!
- Eeeew!

He French-kissed me!
Blecch! Blah! Blah!

Now, that
worked out nicely.

The drinks are
on me, Jenny.

[ Lucky Narrating ] Meanwhile,
the doctor gave Archie and me
some lessons of our own.

Could you leave
a little for me?
Technically, it is my--

- [ Growls ]
- Just a thought.

Hey!
What's going on here?

I've been so blessed,
I feel I should give back
to the hot lady dog.

- You don't have to put up
with that. Get outta here!
- [ Growls ]

That is one hot fox.
What's the matter
with you two?

Don't you know
that every female is looking
for the strongest male?

- But what about personality?
- I'm gonna die a virgin.

Shut up and listen.
The strongest male
is called the alpha male.

The alpha male wants everybody
to know he's the boss male.

You have to be him--
the boss of all the males.

You have to learn how to walk
like the alpha male.

Walk the walk.
[ Archie ]
Walk the walk.

- And talk the alpha male talk!
- [ Lucky ]
I'm still on the walk.

It's about power
and respect.

It's about pure,
unchecked, uncompromised,
testosterone-driven male power!

[ Lisa ]
John, didn't I ask you
to line the garbage pails?

You line 'em
your damn self, woman!

- What?
- I-I'm sorry, honey.

I was talkin' to the animals.
I got a little riled up.
I was teachin' 'em somethin'.

Stop messing with those animals
and go and get us
something to eat.

Okay, I'm on my way.
Going right now, honey.
Go.

[ Lucky ]
Way to go, alpha male.
Talk the talk.
Shut up!

Who are you telling
to shut up?

I wasn't talking to you.
I was talking to the animals.
I'm going to get the food.

- You sure you don't want
another one of these things?
- No, I'm fine.

Okay.

I got a question for you.
Let's say you spend your
whole life in show business.

What's gonna be
your big finish? Every act
has to have a big finish.

Big finish? Check it out.
San Francisco Bee. Quote.

"The best thing about Archie's
act is when it's finished."
End quote.

No, I mean in life.

Who you gonna share
your success with, your hopes,
dreams, fears and failures?

Everything I do wouldn't mean
anything if I didn't have
my wife and kids to go home to.

Sometimes
I do get very lonely.

I've never been in love.

Okay, this is your big chance.
I think Ava really likes you.

Did she say somethin'?
What'd she say?

You gotta learn to read
between the lines sometimes.

She loves me?
I knew it!

Hey, let's not
get carried away.

I feel like
I'm about to burst.

So, this is what love
feels like, right? Oh.

Or maybe
it's the marshmallows.

[ Burps ]

I think it's the marshmallows.
You ate a whole bag of 'em.

Doc, tomorrow you're gonna
see a brand-new bear.

I think I'm gonna
call it a night.

Don't go. It's a little
scary out here for me.

Can you stay here
till I fall asleep?

Okay, I'll wait
till you fall asleep.
Then I'm leaving.

- Hey, Doc?
- Yes, sir?

Can you leave the light on?

Okay, light stays on.

I'll keep these here, okay?

'Night, Archie.
'Night, Doc.

If you want a marshmallow,
just gotta ask me, okay?

Look out, Ava!
There's a new Archie in town!

Oh, yeah!
That feels good!

Feel it comin'!

Feel the burn!

Feel the wind!

Feel the muscle cramp!

Oww! Aah!

Oww!

Come on, Archie, don't quit.
Dig deep. Let's go!

I think I pulled
my butt muscle.

Ouch. It stings.
My butt stings.

Could you rub my butt?
Could you rub it, please?

Rub my butt.
Come back here, rub my butt.

Please rub my butt.

[ Lucky Narrating ] Doc finally
realized he was never gonna
make Archie fast enough...

or strong enough
to impress Ava,

but maybe, maybe he could
make him sweet enough.

[ Archie ]
Wow, how could anybody
be so beautiful?

Why don't you
tell her that?

Oh, I don't know.
I-- Oh, my--

What is that?

Oh, that's Sonny.
That's her little "bearfriend."
She told me about him.

But he's a Kodiak bear.
Hey, don't get
discouraged, man.

You can win her over.

The key to
winning a woman over is,
figure out what she likes.

Take my wife.
Please!

Don't do that.
This is serious.
I'm sorry.

My wife,
she likes to be surprised.

Like jumpin' out of
the bushes, screamin'?

No, nothin' like that.
They like romance.
Do something romantic.

Something that says,
"I'm thinking about you
all the time."

Wow, that's really nice.
You do stuff like that
all the time?

I used to.

But lately I've been,
you know,
all caught up in this,

so I guess I'm
a little out of practice.

Okay, candles,
fruit, cheese, wine.

Perfect.

- What are you doing?
- Oh, hey, honey.

I'll tell you what I'm doing.
It's all about you tonight.

I've sent the children off
to the movies, and the bear
is camping in the woods.

We're all alone.
[ Chameleon ]
Oh, yes, all alone.

[ Clears Throat ]
One second.

[ Chameleon ]
You cannot see me.
I am at one with the couch.

I am blended perfectly,
interwoven into every fiber.

- Oops! Come on!
I can give you some pointers!
- So much for the intrusions.

Hey, come on. It ain't no fun
if the homeys can't see none.

Now, where were we?
You were thinking a few candles
and some wine would make up...

for ignoring me
the last few days.

I'm sensing a little resistance.
I took that into consideration.

Here's something
you won't be able to resist.
** [ Stereo: R&B Ballad ]

[ Lionel Richie ]
* And I feel with you *

Is this
our wedding song?
* In my arms *

That's not fair.
Is this the first thing you ever
danced to as Mrs. Dolittle?

* This love will last *
The show
is about to start.

* Forever *
What show?

It is!
It truly is!
* 'Cause I'm *

* Truly *

* I'm truly
in love *

* With Mrs. Dolittle *
* Truly in love *

[ Singing Along ]
* Truly in love
with you, girl *

** [ Continues ]
Oh, he's so good.

Let me tell ya, he scratched
my belly the other day,
my leg went crazy.

- * Head over heels
with your love **
- Hey, what's going on?

Apparently, he's truly,
truly in love with her.

Hey, Doc, give her some garbage.
Chicks like garbage.

** [ Continues ]
How about plantin' a little
sugar on Dr. D's lips?

I think
I can do that.

Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.

- [ Lucky ]
Go, Doctor! Go, Doctor!
- [ Archie ] D'oh!

- Ohh!
- He broke her!
[ Gasps ]

- Get outta here, all of you!
- Aww!
- The kid's got moxie.

- This ain't no peep show!
- But this is really helpful.
I'm learning a lot.

Truly.
Just get outta here.

We'll discuss it tomorrow.
[ Lucky ]
Uh-oh. Busted.

You're gonna discuss
what tomorrow?
Oh.

Well, I w-- I was--

Well, baby, why don't we
just pick it up
where we left off.

Baby?
Hmm?

Why don't you
sleep on the couch.

[ Archie ]
W-Wait, what'd she say, Doc?

She said she loves me so much,
I get to sleep on the couch.

You're the man!

Yes, I'm the man.

I'm the man on the couch.
[ Clears Throat ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Snoring Continues ]

Psst. Hey, Doc.
Homey is on the move.
His hormones are raging.

- [ Continues Snoring ]
- [ Chameleon ] There he goes!

- Hold it.
- [ Groans ]

I was only going
to the bathroom.

You can hold it.

I know that trick.

[ Chuckling ]
Hey, baby!

Hi. What's wrong
with your voice?

[ Imitating Dolittle ]
You're lookin' mighty fine.

So why don't you plant
some of that sugar over here
on my-- on Archie.

* Truly **

[ Laughing ]
Oh, no.

Is that our song?
[ Creaking ]

- Whoa!
- [ Thud ]

Ow! Hard ground!
Back!

You should maybe learn
how to climb trees. Truly.

That's a bruise!

Hey, come on
out of there, Archie.
Never!

I'm sure
it wasn't that bad.

It was
the most humiliating thing
I've ever done,

and I once rode a unicycle
in a tutu!

Okay, I understand,
but we can fix this.
We just have to work harder.

Nope, I'm just gonna
stay here and hibernate.

Tell him to stay in there.
We're making our own bear suit.
No, Archie's fine.

Good, 'cause we were wondering,
would it be all right if every
animal in the whole forest...

stays with you next week?

Archie, I'm not playing anymore.
I want you to come out here
right now, you big coward!

Uh, excuse me.
Who are you calling a coward?

You.
I'm calling you a big coward
for quitting like this.

Well, it's hard.
You know what hard is,
Archie?

My wife is mad at me,
my daughter's mad at me,

and I'm spending my vacation
with a pizza boy who greets me
by saying, "Dr. D, what's up?"

Now I'm listening to a big,
furry baby telling me he wants
to quit 'cause it's too hard!

[ Whines ]
Well, Ava laughed at me.

Oh, boo-hoo!
"Ava laughed at me.

I love her and I need her,
and she laughed at me!"

You don't even deserve Ava!
Why should Ava spend her life
with a coward like you?

Hey, don't poke
the bear, buddy.

I didn't poke a bear.
If I poked a bear,
a bear would be maulin' me.

- I don't know what I poked,
but it sure ain't no bear!
- Hey, I'm warning you!

Oh, yeah?
And I'm pokin' you!
Stop it!

- Poke, poke, poke!
- All right, that's it!

Aaah!
[ Groans ]

Archie, that hurt.
[ Flies Buzzing ]

Hey, that felt good.
Bear-like.

You're beyond my help.
Just take your ass
back to the circus.

Bear. Whoo-hoo!

[ Shouting ]
I'm a bear!

I'm the alpha bear!

Grrr! Roar!

Bears say "grrr,"
right?

What happened to you?
Archie.

I--
You know what--

Potter called.
He wants to make a deal.

Just listen to what
he has to say.

[ French Accent ]
For you, madame.

- Thanks.
- So does Sonny
bring you fish?

No. Not a fish.
Usually about a hundred.

A hundred? Wait. No.
He can't carry that many.

Okay, but does Sonny
tell you that you have...

the most beautiful eyes
he's ever seen?

Does he promise
to fill your life with
love, poetry, laughs?

No. No.
Mostly he just asks me
when I think I'll be in heat.

[ Chuckles ]
Prince Charming, huh?
Yeah.

[ Chuckles ]
So when is-- when is that?

[ Giggles ]
Do you want to go
for a walk?

- With you or alone?
- With me.

- Okay.
[ Chuckles ]
- [ Giggles ]

This isn't a walk.
We're running.

Why do we always
have to run?

* I got you now
and I just want to *

* Show you how to play *

* Goose bumps on your body *

* Guide the way *

* I wanna go all night *

* Ain't no stoppin' till
the breakin' of the dawn *

* I wanna go inside
every corner *

* 'Cause you really
turn me on *

* I wanna go
knock knock *

* Our bodies to the beat
of when the mornin' comes *

* We'll let
the sunshine stay **

[ Lucky Narrating ]
Yep, there was love
in the air.

Be the man.
Be the man.

Be... the... man.

Hey.
Now, you listen to me.

Yeah, that's right.
You're in my house now.

- Hmm?
- Yeah, my house.

Also my house.
All of these are my house.

Hey, you're a lucky girl,
you know that? Yeah.

You're the lucky one,
not me. You.
[ Chuckles ]

Hey. You want to go
out with me tonight?
Would that be good?

Hey, wait a minute.
What do you think
you're doing?

Who-Who-Who, me?
No. I'm not doing anything.

I'm just, you know,
assuming the position.

- Hey. You marked my tree.
- Oh, no.
I would never do that.

I would never mark--
mark your tree.

I don't even know
what those words mean.
I drank a lot of water.

I'll tell you
something about water.
It goes right through me.

Come on.
It smells like lemonade.

Oh. Yeah.
Oh, I see your point.
Yeah, yours is...

very, very strong.

It's like-- like ammonia.
I'm actually getting dizzy,
to tell you the truth. Ha.

Come on. Let's beat it.
We're leaving.

[ Lucky ]
You two are going, huh?
Have fun.

Have fun. You make
a very handsome couple.
[ Chuckles ]

God, I hate myself.

[ Buzzing ]

[ Archie ] Wow.
[ Ava ] Yeah. Bears have died
trying to reach that hive.

Well, if you want it,
you got it.

Oh, please.
Don't even think about it.
That's not funny.

- No. I'm gonna
go get it for you.
- Archie, I'm serious.

Don't. It's too dangerous.
Promise me.
Okay.

Okay. I like you, Ava.

I like you too,
Archie.

- Oh. What are you girls
doing over here?
- Sonny, don't.

Beat it, circus boy.

Sonny--
Oh, you keep your yap shut.

[ Chuckles ]
Your charm is matched
only by your odor.

- And what does that mean?
- That just means you're
a malodorous ignoramus.

- It's nothing, really.
- What's he saying?
I'm confused.

And I don't like
being confused.

- Yeah, he really doesn't.
- Really? Well, you'd think
he'd get used to it, huh?

Let's go, Ava.
Tryin' to confuse me.
[ Mumbling ]

Ava, don't go.
Look, maybe you can do better
than me, but don't do worse.

I thought you liked me.
Of course I do.

[ Sonny ] Come on, Ava.
But you'll always
be a city bear.

And I need more than that.

City bear.
[ Sighs ]
Great.

Should we, uh,
put all our cards
on the table?

Of course.

This bear you brought up here
has as much likelihood
of making...

little bear babies
as Riley here.

Ain't-a-gonna happen.

But, on the other hand,
thanks to you,

I'm not exactly drowning
in favorable publicity.

So, here's my offer.
I will set aside ten acres,

turn it into a sanctuary.

You can bring
all your little
animal buddies there.

Plus,
you'll be saving face.

You won't have
to admit you failed.
You don't look like a fool.

Look, ten acres is ridiculous.

That's the offer.

The deadline is Wednesday
at 12:00 noon.
Let me be clear.

At 12:01,
we'll be sending in
every logger,

every piece of logging
equipment we've got.

By Friday, there won't
be a tree standing.

[ Sighs ]
I need to run this
by my wife.

Excellent idea.
There's a pay phone
in the back.

Excuse me.

Calling the wife.
Always a sign of weakness.
Yeah.

[ Archie ]
Whoo-hoo, woo, woo.
Hey, Johnny.

What are you doing?
Doc, I know what to do.
I've got my big finish.

Look. Come in here.
Quick.
All right.

Hey, I don't think
I'm allowed in here.

Okay, listen.
I got to tell you.
This thing is over.

I'm just sorry
I dragged you into all this.

I'm going to have
to get you an audition
in Vegas or something.

These guys offered me a deal,
and it's the best I can do.

No, no, no.
The best you can do
is not give up on me, Doc.

Come on. You told me,
"Listen to your inner bear."
Remember?

- I don't know, Archie.
- Look, I know how
I can win Ava.

Okay. I know
I'm nuts or something.

I'm gonna give it another shot.
I'll give you one more chance.

Yes! Yes!
Okay, let me get over--

Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Uh-oh, what?
What's the problem?

Ice cream is acting up.
What ice cream?

I got depressed
after Sonny and Ava,
and I went on a bender.

And by the second gallon,
I realized I'm in love
with Ava...

and this ice cream
called "Cherry Garcia."

[ Belches ]
Hey! Don't you dare
throw up on me.

Ohh! That's not where
it's gonna come out. Ohh!

Wait. You got to do that,
sit down on the toilet.

- I can't hold it!
- Wait! You got to lift
the lid up first.

This is not going to be
big enough! Oh, boy!

You'll be fine.
Just sit there.
I'm gonna keep guard outside.

I don't think it's--
Just take care of what
you got to take care.

Hey. I'll be with you
in one second. I'm gonna
take care of business.

Who you talking to in there?
I'm talking to myself.
I was, you know--

Sometimes you
got to coax it down.
Right.

Give my sphincter
a little pep talk.
Excuse me.

Come on down, you.

Oh, my G--
I gotta stay in here
with you.

Let me get the window open.
Please, don't do nothing
till I get the window open.

- Uh-oh!
- The window only opens
a little bit.

That's not going
to be enough.
[ Breaking Wind ]

Oh, hey, hey!
You're doing it,
aren't you? Wow!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[ Breaking Wind ]

- It's worse--
It's worse than I imagined.
- [ Breaking Wind ] Whoo!

[ Breaking Wind ]
Ohh! Ohh!
Oh, Archie!

You just had ice cream?
That's not just ice cream.
That's not just ice cream.

Oh, Archie!
[ Breaks Wind ]

Oh, it ain't that bad.
Come on. Whoo!

[ Toilet Flushing ]

Gentlemen, uh, no deal.

Thanks for your time.

[ Sniffs ]

[ Snores ]
Hm! Is that me?

[ Maya ] Can you hear me?
[ Pepito ] Stop staring at me.
You're giving me a complex.

I'm trying to blend.
Well, if you can hear me,

can you change
to the color of this table--
What do you think you're doing?

- I think he understands me.
- Well, if he understood me,

I'd tell him how sick I am
of all these stupid animals.

[ Gasps ]
Oh, that really hurt.

If you could understand me,
I'd tell you to do something
about those dandruff flakes.

It's looking like
Christmas in July.

I hate this place.

So young. So angry.
Damn that rap music.

[ Lisa ]
Hey.
Hey.

So how'd it go?

Well, I told Potter no deal.

I thought it wasn't
working with Archie.

Archie thinks
he can win Ava over.
I'm gonna see this through.

So that means
we're stuck here? Oh!

Charisse.
Hey, Charisse.
Hey.

Charisse.
Hey, it's a long walk
back to the city.

Hm.
Hey, we're not gettin'
along too good, are we?

I want to go home.
I want to go home too.
We're going home.

But there's something else
that's bothering you, isn't it?

I'm not saying
it's all your fault.
Maybe it's my fault.

Maybe it's a phase
that you're going through.
But something's bothering you.

And your mother thinks that
you got a problem, and you're
not telling us about it.

No.
You sure? There's
nothing bothering you?

I'm sure.
Charisse.

I'm fine, Dad.
Okay, now.

I'm not saying you have
a problem, but if you do
we always work things out.

Right?
Right.

You're cool?
Cool.

All right.

'Cause your mother
was a little worried.
And I was startin'--

Tell her I'm fine.
Okay. Okay.

Yeah.

- Dad?
- Yes? Yes?

I knew something
was bothering you.
What is it?

Come on, talk to me.
Come on, talk to me.
You know, daddy to daughter.

Break it down.
You can cry, whatever.
We can cry together, if that's--

What is it?
Stop.
Nothing.

It must be the mountains
messing me up, 'cause I'm fine.

You sure
you're all right?
Mm-hmm.

[ Giggles ]

She's all right!

You have your little space.
I'll be in the house.

All right.
Okay.

Talking time's done.
It's time to be bold...
for Ava.

He's goin' after the hive!
He's goin' after the hive!

- Who?
- Archie.

- Who?
- Archie, you idiot.
Jeez!

Boy, this cliff's
a lot higher than I remember.

Bye-bye, species.

So this is your big plan, huh?
Archie, you get back here
right now! Come back in!

No way, Doc.
I'm gonna do this
or die trying.

- That bear is one bad mother.
- Archie, what are you doing?

Archie, you get
back in here right now.
Stop playing!

I don't think
I'm gonna win Ava
by eating a bunch of worms.

I'm never gonna be
more woodsy than Sonny.

I have to show her
how much she means to me.

And if you fall,
it's gonna prove that
you're stupid and dead, Archie.

What's goin' on around here?
Oh, circus boy's
got a new trick.

- Quiet, Sonny.
- Okay, I got it.
I got it.

That log ain't
gonna hold him.
And I know logs.

- [ Log Creaking ]
- Okay! Ohh!

- Don't move, Archie!
Don't move!
- Careful! Careful!

- I'll buy you the honey.
- [ Archie ] Ooh! Ooh!

- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Break! Break!

- [ Archie ]
This was not a good idea.
- Archie, get down!

I'm fine.
Oh, bees!
[ Buzzing ]

[ Dolittle ]
What's happening?

Hold still!
I'll try to talk to them.
Work something out.

- They're stinging me!
No, no!
- Uh, guys, uh...

[ Buzzing ]

I can't see!
Ooh! They're stinging!
Get away from me!

- [ Bees ] Attack!
- No, no, no!
No attack! Hey! Stop!

[ Bee ]
Defend the hive!
Ow! Hey, Archie!

Get the little guy!
[ Yelling ]

[ Gasps ]
[ Bee ]
Protect the hive! Attack!

- Attack!
- Banzai! Banzai!

Archie! Archie!
Hey, Archie! Hey!

- [ Grunting ]
- [ Archie Yelling ]
- Archie!

- Archie, get back in here!
- Jump, circus boy!

- Go suck a salmon!
- Ava, I did it for you!

Good job, Archie!
Way to go, Archie!
All right!

- Yeah! You did it!
- Woo! Woo! Woo!

- Yeah.
- That kid's got moxie.
I love him.

Okay. Okay, what's
the matter with you, huh?

What'd you do something
like that for, huh?
Are you crazy?

I could have got
that hive if I wanted it.
Come on, Ava, before I get mad.

Sonny,
we're not working out.
So, take a hike.

- Honey?
- Yeah, babe, what's up?

No. I meant, would you
like more honey?

Oh, no. I'm good.
Okay.

So, ready to talk about
preserving the species?

Well, we could talk.
Or you could count
to a hundred...

and come and get me.
Okay. Counting, great.

Um, one, two--
[ Ava Giggling ]

- One, two, three--
- That's impressive.
He's really counting.

Come on, focus, focus.
Uh, one--

Maybe I should
stay in the open.
One, two,

ten, G, H, P,

green, orange, fish.

Pace yourself.
Not so fast.
Uh, one, two, three, ten--

Uh, five-teen.
Okay, 100.

- Ow!
What the-- Nap.
- [ Thud ]

Daddy?
Hey.

Daddy's back.

What is it?
What happened?

It's Archie.

[ Man ] Back up, back up.
Okay, folks,
let's move it back now.

We got a wild animal,
coming through.
Wild animal, coming through.

I know you've all seen
the show When Animals Attack.

Have you seen When Animals
Wake Up and Attack?

Now, there's nothing
more dangerous...

than a half-sedated,
half-unsedated bear.

They have big,
sharp teeth and claws--

Excuse me.
I'm Dr. Dolittle.
What happened in here?

Well, he broke down
the back door,

and we found him
ransacking the kitchen.
No.

Yeah. I'm sorry, Dr. Dolittle.
I was rooting for you.
All right, let's move it out!

Show's over!
Let's go!

Hey, Archie, it's me.
What happened?
[ Groggy ] Hey.

I was so close, Doc.
They came out of nowhere.

And I--
Are you ready
to save the forest?

[ Mumbles ]

The good news is,
we're setting aside
ten acres of forest.

We're calling it
the Dr. Dolittle
Wildlife Sanctuary.

We're very pleased about that.
Ah, speak of the devil.

[ Man ]
Can we ask you a few questions?
You think you won this thing,

but you haven't.
Fine.

We'll just level your forest
and call it a tie.

Thanks very much, folks.
That's it for today.
Thank you.

[ Reporters
Shouting Questions ]

If only I had an eyewitness.
Did anybody see what happened?
Yeah.

We got one problem.
He's a friggin' weasel.

Oh, really. What'd he do?
No, I mean he's an actual
friggin' weasel.

Hey, weasel,
the doctor's here.

Okay, you know what,
that's Mr. Weasel.

Mr. Weasel, did you see
what happened to the bear?

Ooh, the big scary bear.
Did I see what happened--

Did you see anything or not?
Okay, here's the deal.

You give me that shiny
wristwatch of yours, and I'll
tell you what you need to know.

- You're such a weasel.
- Oh, thank you.

[ Dolittle ]
Potter's people set Archie up.
I got a witness.

An animal?
You can't offer that
into evidence.

Well, you got
any better ideas?
Well, I-I'll stall for time.

Maybe we'll get
a private investigator.

Those trucks are ready to roll.
They're gonna take Archie
off to a zoo in Mexico.

John, if you go
on the witness stand, Riley
is gonna tear you to shreds.

Well, what do I have to lose?
Your reputation.

Look, I don't care.
I'm not giving up on
those animals this easy.

Not without a fight.
Excuse me.
[ Sighs ]

Your Honor, we admit
it was a setback.

But we would
like one more week
to rehabilitate the bear.

Might I suggest perhaps
counsel would like to, uh,

admit the animal
into the Betty Ford clinic.

- [ Spectators Laughing ]
- Or the Yogi Bear clinic.

What if I could prove
the entire thing was a setup?

That would be a very
serious allegation.

Do you intend to
present evidence?

We have an eyewitness.

[ Dolittle ]
Your Honor,
can I address the court,

just for a minute?
Go ahead.

Sir, we have an eyewitness
who'll testify that
they heard a gunshot,

then they saw a truck
backing up to the area...

- where the shot was fired.
- Is that witness here
in the courtroom?

No. Not in the courtroom
with us, because, um, he's, uh--

He's a weasel.
[ Laughing ]

- [ Gavel Pounding ]
- [ Laughing Continues ]

Order!
Your Honor,

I know this-this seems
very unreasonable.

But I can talk to animals.
One of them did come forward
with this information, sir.

Your Honor,
if it pleases the court,

I have no problem
allowing Dr. Dolittle
or counsel...

the opportunity
to question the eyewitness.

I would just ask for
a brief recess...

so that I have opportunity
to get a camera.

I'd like a snapshot
of the animal
being sworn in.

[ Spectators Laughing ]
That's enough!

Does the weasel need immunity?
Certainly we could provide
animal protection program.

[ Laughing Continues,
Gavel Pounding ]
That's enough.

I will not allow you
to make a mockery
of my courtroom.

The deadline has passed.
Motion to extend denied.

That's a shame.
You hate to see it.
[ Laughing ]

Uh, Dr. Dolittle,
will you appeal?
Is this the end of the line?

Dr. Dolittle,
can you tell us
what the weasel said?

Hey. Hey, Doc. Okay.
Come to get me out?

- Sort of.
- Sort of?
What do you mean, sort of?

I couldn't really
prove your story, Archie.

So they, um--
What? They wh-what?
They what?

They think you're too dangerous
to be set free, so--
[ Inhales ]

Yeah? What?

[ Exhales ]
They sold you
to a Mexican circus.

Ai, Chihuahua.

Archie, I am--
I'm so sorry.

- For what?
- For everything.

Dragging you out here
and putting you through
all this stuff.

Giving you hope.
I feel like I ruined your life.

Ruined my life?
Doc, you gave me a life.

You're the one
who taught me about love.

And no one can ever
take that away from me.

Hey, Charisse.

What are you
doing down here?

Mom wanted me to tell you
that her motion for an appeal
has been denied.

Well, we knew
it was a long shot anyway.

So, Archie, at least
you'll be back in show business.

Ehh, that's not
what I want anymore.
I just want Ava.

- I know you want Ava.
- Well, maybe I wasn't
meant to be loved.

Everybody is meant
to be loved.
That's right.

Everybody's meant--

Charisse.

Oh, my God!

Charisse, since when?

A couple of weeks now.

At first,
it was kind of fuzzy.

But, uh,
now it's really clear.

And this is what you've
been keeping from us, right?

I didn't want to say anything
because I didn't want
to become a freak.

You're not going
to become a freak.
Not at all.

Hey, look. When it
started happening to me,
I got scared too.

You're just looking at it
the wrong way.
This is a good thing.

How?
Look at all the good
that's come out of it already.

What good?
Well, look at us,
like this, huh?

How about this, huh? Mm.

[ Chuckles ]
Hey, guys. Now I know
what I've been missing.

A family.
I guess that's something
I'll never have.

Dad, you got to help him.
Isn't there something
that we can do?

And it's not just him.
It's all the animals.

There's so many of 'em.

Yeah, there are so many of 'em.

[ Chattering ]

You guys have given up,
haven't you?

Hey, what am I gonna do?
I'm six years old.

I'm not a young beaver no more.

Besides, we've been living
in this forest how long?

About a hundred years
we've been shakin' down
this forest, boss.

- So we had a good run.
- Look, I tried to do this
by myself, but I can't.

So if you guys
want to save your homes,
you're gonna have to help me.

And whether or not
you believe it, you guys
have enormous untapped power.

[ Blows Raspberry ]

Whenever people talk about
the best of the best, it's
always an animal expression.

You got a heart like a lion.

Or he's as strong as an ox.
He's got eyes like an eagle.

Or he can move
swift like a gazelle.
Or you stink like a skunk.

- What?
- Sorry about that, man.
I'm trying to make my point.

What I'm trying to say is,
we can do this!
We can do it!

Just don't give up
without a fight!

[ Beaver ]
Let the word go out
from Sicily to SeaWorld.

The trucks don't move!
Capisce?

Yeah! All right!
The beaver's right!

Yeah!

Yeah!

[ Horn Honks ]

Hey, kids!
I'm gonna have
to ask you to move!

- No!
- No?

Listen,
don't start with me.

Everybody,
take your positions!

[ Growling, Barking ]

Hasta la vista, baby.

Shoot!
Roll 'em up!

[ Growling, Barking
Continues ]

I ain't never seen
nothing like this before.
[ Mooing ]

None of 'em have any milk.
What?

All of 'em are dry.

What's wrong, Annabelle?
Strike! Strike!

[ All ]
Strike! Strike!
Strike! Strike!

Here's your eggs!
You want 'em scrambled?

Strike! Strike! Strike!

Okay. Let's go
get the Frisbee.

- Come on, go get it!
- D'oh!

Strike! Strike!
Strike!

Give me-- Give me--
Give me that leash!

Strike! Strike!
Strike! Strike!
Oh, no!

** [ Blues ]

Hey, Archie.
All the animals
are working together.

You'll be out of here
in no time.

It's ridiculous.
Animals can't organize.

You may want
to take a look at this
for yourself then.

[ Man On TV ]
All over the world,
animals have organized.

They're striking
in Paris, Texas,
in Paris, France,

in Brooklyn, in Mexico
and in Canada.

[ Turns TV Off ]
I'm sure I'm going to regret
this in the morning,

but maybe you should
talk with Dolittle.

And what? Give in
to a bunch of beasts
and lower life-forms?

I took on the Democrats.
I can take on
a bunch of animals.

- [ Squeaking ]
- Charge!
- Oh, no!

- [ Squeaking ]
- [ Gasps ]

- Go on!
- Look out!
- Watch it!

- Beat it. Ha!
- Retreat!
- Go on!

- Medic!
- Organized.

[ Male Voice ]
We have two bogeys,
bearing Alpha Tango Niner.

[ Bird Cawing ]
We are locked on targets.

Do you hear something?
Commence bombing!

[ Bird Cawing ]
Roger that, sir.

Well done, men!
Hang in there!

The party
ain't over yet!

- [ Growling ]
- [ Riley ] Sir?

- Don't make any sudden moves.
- Gotcha.

[ Growling, Barking ]
[ Yelling ]

Attack!
Back 'em up!

Poop's away!
Firing number two!

Let's return to base
and reload.

Sir, you, uh,
you-you've locked the, uh--

What?
You've locked the door, sir!

What?
You might want to--

Sir!

I think you should run. Run!
I'm an attorney.
I was-- I'm not with him.

[ Bee ]
There he is again!
Get the little guy!

Banzai!

Not the face!

[ Chuckling, Gasps ]

[ Roars ]

No, please!
No, no. I'm sure
we can work something out.

I'm just reaching for my phone.
I'm gonna call Dr. Dolittle.

Whoa, whoa. No sudden
movements, or I'm gonna
bite you in the cannolis.

Uh, hello. The number
for Dr. John Dolittle, please.

Not Stuart Little.
Dolittle.

[ Phone Rings ]
Dolittle.

Oh, Mr. Potter.
How are you, sir?

Oh, I could be better.
I'm here with a couple
of your friends.

I know you can't possibly
believe that animals
are organizing.

Uh, well,
you know, I don't know
what to think anymore.

Tell you what.
Let's put our cards
on the table.

I will be more than happy
to set up a meeting
between you and these animals...

so you can work out
your problem.
What?

Hey, look.
It's the only way you're
gonna be able to save face.

You won't have to admit you
were wrong, and you can get out
without looking like an idiot.

Okay, okay.
Look, anything.
Just-Just call them off.

Okay. All right, listen,
put the raccoon on the phone.

He wants to speak to you.
Make it short.

[ Clears Throat ]
Hello. Yeah. No, no.
I got it under control.

Hey, we'll call youse back.
All right.

First off,
let me say that I'm here
only as a mediator.

And these negotiations
will be between Mr. Potter...

and the representatives
of the United Animals
of the Forest, local 534.

- [ Beaver ]
Yeah. Let's come to order.
- This is my new proposal.

All right.

What's the stipulations, Doc?
What kind of territory
are we looking at?

It's only, uh, 12 acres here.
It's 12 acres.

I got your 12 acres
right here, pal.

- Hey, they like it.
- I'll give you
something you like.

- Like this.
- [ Urinating ]

I think that's a "no."

Or "hell no," maybe.

[ Lucky Narrating ]
Meanwhile, the strike
kept growing.

Even the pros
were getting in on the act.

[ Man On P.A. ]
The last few runners
left to load now...

for one of the biggest
spectacles of the year:
It's Derby time.

Last horse is in.
Gate's closed.

And away they go!

[ Horses ]
Hell, no! We won't go!
Hell, no! We won't go!

- Hell, no! We won't go!
- Run your own stupid race!

- You try running a mile.
- Don't even think about
reaching for that whip.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Shamu!

[ Cheering, Applause ]

This is Shamu!

[ Audience Muttering ]

Nah. I don't feel like
jumping through any hoops today.
Any of you guys?

Uh-uh.
No, no. Not today.
I just ate. Uh-uh.

Mr. Potter,
I hope we have a deal now.

All right!
Yeah!

Good job. Taught him
everything he knows.

Viv le bear!
Viv le Archie!

[ Speaking French,
Hiccups ]

Come on,
give me a bear hug.

Come on!
Oh, no.
Absolutely not, Archie.

You're not leaving here
until you get a bear hug.

[ Archie Laughing ]
All right, give me a hug then.
Just a little one.

Come on.
Okay. All right.
That's good.

Archie-- [ Gagging ]
Archie! Archie,
you're crushing my spine.

[ Gasping ]
Archie!

Bye-bye. Drive safe now.
Buckle up.

Hey, Archie, you in there?
[ Archie ]
What?

- Hey, Doc.
- Hey, man, I just stopped by
to say so long.

Oh. Thanks. For everything.

You are quite welcome.
[ Ava ]
Archie, I'm ready.

She's in heat.
Excuse me, Doc.
I got to go save the species.

[ Archie Chuckles ]
Oh. Go do
your thing, Archie.

Yeah, Archie.
Archie!
[ Chuckles ]

Oh, Archie.

[ Lucky Narrating ]
Yeah, it was quite a summer.
[ Lucky ] Hey, Doc.

Hey, Lucky.
What are you doing?

What am I doing? Hmm.

Let me phrase it this way.
[ Clears Throat, Howling ]

[ Howling Continues ]

You too, huh?

[ Lucky Narrating ]
And Charisse and the Doc
were closer than ever.

Oh, come on.
Cheer up, Pepito.
You'll get it eventually.

No, I won't.
I will never blend in.
I have a broken blender.

You will blend in.
Trust me.
You will blend in.

How? How will Pepito
ever blend in? Pepito sucks.

[ Pepito Gasps ]

Look at me!
I'm blending in!

- I'm invisible!
- That's right.
You're invisible.

Great job, honey.
[ Pepito ]
Did you ever doubt me?

The blendmaster is back.
How about that?

I am king of the third world.
Hey, can we do the whole house
like this?

Is very fengshui.

[ Lucky Narrating ]
But the best news of all
came the following spring.

- [ Boy ] No, you don't know
what you're talking about.
- Kids, come on-- Hey! Ooh!

Over here! Kids!
Whoo-hoo! Over here! Okay.
[ Arguing ]

Now, it's step, step,
turn, kick, step.

[ Girl ]
Papa, I thought it was
step, kick, turn, step, step.

Come on, kids.
We open in six weeks, okay.
[ Ava ] I thought you retired.

Oh. [ Chuckles ]
I did, honey.
We're just playing.

Okay, now from the chorus.
Five, six, seven, eight--

* I will survive
I will survive *

* For as long as I know
how to love *

* I know
I'll stay alive *

* I've got all my life
to live *

* I've got all my love
to give *

* And I'll survive
I will survive *

* Hey, yeah **

** [ Fades ]

* Do do do do *

* Do do do *

* Do, ooh *

Hey, come on.
This is the most boring
party I've ever been to.

You guys are so stiff,
so plastic.
Come on, let's move!

Let's conga.
Hey, baby, are those real?

Come on, let's get
this party started.
Let's go!

Ooy! Ooy!
Party over here,
party over there!

Raise the roof.
The roof is on fire.

** [ Continues ]

[ Blender Whirring ]

Can you see me now?
I bet you can't.

I'm invisible.
Can you see me?

Of course.
I see both of you.

[ Laughs, Hiccups ]

* There's a place in France *

* Where the naked monkeys
dance *
[ Hiccups ]

* Say you're on the road *
* I'm on the road *

* You must explode *

* And have some fun
People, have some fun *

* What I gotta do for you *
* We can't get low
unless we show *

* We're high on love *
* Let's have some fun *
Check this out.

* When I met you
at the roller rink *

* Cotton candy
with your Shasta drink *

* Race with the best
Then we're quite okay *

* And the kissing we did
was on the cheek *

* Remember like yesterday *

* We'd hop on our bikes
and just ride away *

* Knew you'd be mine
somehow, someway *

* And I must say
I do *

* So you're on the road *
* I'm on the road *

* You must explode *

* And have some fun
People, have some fun *

* Somethin' about
the East Coast *

* That makes us
want to squeeze most *

* For those who don't think
that we right *

* I'll show you how
we do a damn thing *

* I'll show you how
to be on your own *

* And here we go *

* Let's get it right on
We're gonna have some fun *

* We'll be low on the do'
That's fo' sho' *

* If we don't go
then we're never gonna know *

* Say you're on the road *
* I'm on the road *

* Then you must explode *

* And we'll have some fun
People, let's have some fun *

* Oh, do ya wanna get aboard
You, you, you, you, you **

** [ Fades ]

** [ Rap ]

* Yo *

* This goes out to
all the Tameekas *

* Yeah *
* All around the world *

* You know who you are
I see you *

* Hey, yo, I met this shorty
up on 125th *

* She was standing 5-4
with her hands on her hips *

* She had the clothes on
Capris fit her to the tip *

* Her body, when she walks
she holds the keys to the whip *

* I was laughing in the Bentley
when the stoplight changed *

* Brought up this life
5-0 flipped the game *

* She looked at me
as I made my way *

* As I rolled up, I asked
what's your name *
* Tameeka *

* Hot chick, wild chick
got chick *

* Now she's a puppet
for your spot chick *

* Tameeka *

* You know the type that moms
don't want you hangin' with *

* Tameeka *

* And if you gotta go
make sure she's the one
that you're bringin' with *

* Tameeka *

* Yo, she ain't the one
to be playin' with *

* Who can do you better
than the one you're with *

* No more shoppin'
on 1-2-Fifth *

* She could run through Tiff's
Who else you'd rather be
in a V-1-2 with *

* Other than young
F-A-B-O-L-O-U-S *

* I'm a hot kid, hot vid
And I don't got kids *

* Benzs, Bentleys
And they don't got lids *

* Meet me, then you can say
you know a roller *

* I don't talk to chicks unless
it's through Motorolas *

* Plus the kid ain't the one
that'd be playin' with evil *

* Look at me and tell I have
trouble stayin' with fevers *

* I'd be laying with divas
And now I don't like nothin' *

* And not the one that'd
be playin' with beavers *

* There's somethin' about
the way you switched
your shakes *

* The air bags almost came out
when I hit the brakes *

* The other's got Mickey D's
I'm gonna get you steaks *

* My mom says hey
and tellin' me
not to hang with you *

* Tameeka *
* Hot chick, wild chick
got chick *

* Now she's about
to blow your spot chick *

* Tameeka *

* You know the type that moms
don't want you hangin' with *
* Tameeka *

* And if you gotta go
make sure she's the one
that you're bringin' with *

* Tameeka *

* She ain't the one
to be playin' with *

* Tameeka *

* Yeah, yeah **

** [ Fades ]

* Every time we take
one step forward *

* You take two steps back *
* Two steps back *

* Every time it's right
you've been left back *

* 'Cause you really
don't think about it *

* 'Cause there's really
no doubt about it *

* You know that that's guilt
But that's true *

* Every time we take
one step forward *

* You take two steps back *

* Every time it's right
you've been left back *

* 'Cause you really
don't think about it *

* 'Cause there's really
no doubt about it *

* You know that that's guilt
But that's true *

* I don't understand
where you're comin' from *

* 'Cause love's a sacrifice
sometimes *

* If you feel like
you're bendin' over *

* When the tears fly *

* You play me
no longer rough, girl *

* And I do not want
to touch you *

* When you play the little
games you did before *

* Did you want to take
the time to think *

* That maybe I'm just
goin' through things *

* Just because you're a woman
don't think you're the only one
that's being misled *

* What about you rubbin'
on my shoulders *

* Tellin' me I love you *

* And you do the things
you used to do to me *

* Every time we take
one step forward *

* You take two steps back *
* Two steps back *

* Every time it's right
you've been left back *

* 'Cause you really
don't think about it *

* 'Cause there's really
no doubt about it *

* You know that that's guilt
But that's true *

* Every time we take
one step forward *
* Every time *

* You take two steps back *

* Every time it's right
you've been left back *

* 'Cause you really
don't think about it *

* 'Cause there's really
no doubt about it *

* You know that that's guilt
But that's true *

* Hey, that's the truth *

* It was so good *

* Whoo *

* Every time **