All language subtitles for 2-07

Hey, have they left for the big
meeting yet? I got Michael's lucky tie.

No, they're in
the conference room.

Okay.

Wait. Are those
Michael's Levi's?

Yeah. Who dry-cleans jeans?

Pam: Michael and his jeans.

He gets in them, and I'm not
exactly sure what happens,

but I can tell you he loves
the way he looks in those jeans.

I know that's why he started
casual Fridays.

I'll take those. Thanks.

This is a projection
of the county's needs.

Wow. Graphs and charts.

Somebody's really been
doing their homework.

Looks like usa today.

Thirteen schools,
two hospitals...

Jim: So, this possible client they're
talking about, actually a big deal.

It's lackawanna county,
our whole county.

And if we get this, they might
not have to downsize our branch.

And I could work here for years.

And years.

And years.

So when we get to the radisson,

I would like to... oh,
I changed it to chili's.

Excuse me?

Radisson,
it just gives out this vibe.

It's like, "oh, I'm doing
business at the radisson."

It's kind of snooty. So...

You had no right
to do that, Michael.

Here's the thing. "Chili's
is the new golf course.

"It's where business happens."

Small businessman magazine.

It said that?

It will. I sent it in.
Letter to the editor.

All right. But you will
let me run this meeting.

Power trip.

What?

She had done a background
check on me. She had it printed out.

Yeah.

And she was asking me about stuff,
line byline, while we were having dinner.

Ryan: That is unbelievable.

What's going on?

We are doing worst first dates.

Oh, my god, I win.

Okay, it was
a minor league hockey game,

he brought his brother,

and when I went to the bathroom,

the game ended
and they forgot about me.

Okay, that's a joke.

No, they had to
come back for me.

Wait, when was this?

It was not that long ago.

Wait, not Roy.
Say it's not your fiance.

I always knew Pam has refused
to go to sports games with Roy,

but I never knew why.

Interesting.

Okay, let's do this thing.
Wish us luck.

Good luck, Michael.
Good luck, jan.

Thank you. Kiss ass.

Okay, probably going to go late
tonight, burning the midnight Tequila.

So, I think you all
could just take off now.

Michael, this shouldn't take
more than an hour.

Well... do you always
shut down the entire office

when you leave for an hour?

No, no.
That would not be efficient.

Actually, they just don't get very
much work done when I'm not here.

That's not true,
I know how to delegate.

And they do more work
when I'm not here.

Not more.

The same amount of work is
done, whether I'm here or not.

Hey, everybody, listen up!

This is what we're gonna do.
You sit tight until I return.

Sound good? Doesn't
matter, it's an order.

Follow it blindly.

Okay.

All right, ciao. Adios!

So which way is chili's?

I'll drive.

No, that's all right. I wanna
leave straight from there.

It is just a couple
blocks away, so...

Boy, you really don't know
Scranton, do you?

I know Scranton. At all!

All right... have you ever
been to Scranton, jan?

If it's a couple of
blocks away, we can go together.

Okay.

Michael: Jan Levinson-gould.
Jan is cold.

If she was sitting across from you
on a train and she wasn't moving,

you might think she was dead.

We should come up
with a signal of some sort.

Why would we need a signal?

Well, in case one of us gets into
trouble, the other one can signal...

What kind of trouble are you
planning on getting in, Michael?

Well, it could be either of us.

You're gonna let me do the
talking, we agreed on that.

Yes.

Michael: Hello? Christian? Yes.

I thought that was you. Hi.

Michael Scott.
This is jan Levinson-gould.

Just "jan Levinson."

And... no gould? No.

Thank you very much for meeting
with us. Have you been waiting long?

No, not long. Good. Good.

Jan, what happened? Michael.

Is gould dead? What...

Michael, we got divorced, okay?

I'm so sorry, excuse me.
Wow, you're kidding me.

Do you want to talk
about it? Michael.

Could we have
a table for three, please?

When did this happen?

We're in a meeting.

Okay.
Waitress: This way, please.

Christian. All right, after you.

Thank you.

I thought we could start by
going over the needs of the county.

Right.

Well, lackawanna county has not
been immune to the slow economic growth

over the past five years.

So for us, the name of the
game is budget reduction and...

Awesome blossom?

What?

I think we should share
an awesome blossom.

What do you say?
They are awesome.

You want to, Christian? Blossom?

Sure.

Okay, it's done.

Actually, Megan?

May we have an
awesome blossom, please?

Extra awesome. Now it is done.

So, if you have a...

Hey, I heard a very, very
funnyjoke the other day.

You wanna hear it?

Christian, you don't have
to listen to this.

Vvecan_. Itsokay ihkejokes.

Okay.

Just the one.

Just one joke? Okay.

Well, if it's just
going to be one,

I will think of a differentjoke.

Let's see.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

Pam, it's Michael.

I need you to go into my office
and check some data for me.

Okay, you want me to read them?

Yes.

Okay. "A fisherman
is walking down fifth Avenue,

"leading an animal
behind him when..." No, no.

Told it, not as good as
you think. Pick another one.

Okay. "There's a transcript
between a naval ship..."

Okay! Bingo! And a lighthouse.

Yes. That is hysterical.

Could you start that one
from the beginning?

Sure. "There's a transcript between
a naval ship and a lighthouse..."

Is this real?

It is a screenplay
starring himself.

Agent Michael scarn.

Of the FBI.

How long is this?

Oh, Pam! Good work!

Oh, wait, stop. Drawings.

Pam: What is that?

Oh, those are drawings.

In case the writing didn't
really put a picture in your head.

And there he is, in the flesh,
agent Michael scarn.

Now we know what he looks like.

The first guy says, "well, I'm
an astronaut, so I drive a saturn."

And the second guy says,

"well, I am a pimp,
so I drive a cheap escort."

And the third guy says,
"I got you both beat.

"I'm a proctologist,
so I drive a brown probe."

Oh, no! No!

Oh, my god, that's funny!

I almost had awesome blossom
coming out of my nose!

Excuse me, could I have
a vodka tonic, please?

Jim: Do we all have our copy

of threat level midnight
by Michael Scott?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

All right,
let's get this started.

I'm gonna be reading
the action descriptions

and, Phyllis, I would like you
to play Catherine zeta-Jones.

That's the character's name?
Oh, yeah.

You guys
should not be doing this.

Why not, Dwight?
This is a movie.

I mean, this is for all
of america to enjoy.

You took something
that doesn't belong to you...

Dwight... brought it in
here and made copies of it.

Do you want to play the lead
role of agent Michael scarn?

Hey, that's delicious.
I love it.

We would probably be upset
with ourselves

if we went this whole night
without talking business,

so dunder Mifflin can provide

a level of personal service
to the county

that the warehouse chains
just can't match.

Well, we are out to save money.

What's the bottom line?

That's why I wanted
a signal between us,

so I wouldn't have
to just shout nonsense words.

That's her fault.

Did somebody say,
"baby back ribs"?

Hmm? Hmm?

I don't think Christian
has time for that...

I have time.

I want my baby back,
baby back, baby back

I want my baby back,
baby back, baby back

I want my baby-back,
baby-back, baby-back

chili's baby-back ribs I want
my baby-back, baby-back

"inside the FBI, agent Michael
scarn sits with his feet up on his desk.

"Catherine zeta-Jones enters."

"Sir, you have some messages."

"Not now!"

"They're important."

"Okay, what are they?"

"The first message is, 'i
love you.' That's from me."

"Not in a thousand years,
Catherine, we work together.

"And get off my desk."

Yes, I have acted before.

I was in a production of
Oklahoma! In the seventh grade.

I played the part
of mutie the mailman.

They had too many kids, so
they made up roles like that.

I was good.

"If it isn't my old partner,
Samuel I. Chang."

"Agent Michael scarn,
you lost some weight."

Dwight: "Thank you for noticing.

"Now, keep me company
for one more mission."

Hey, I have to work late.

Ryan: "But as soon as I
blow out these candles..."

You're joking, right?

Jim: Michael scarn takes out a
9mm gun and shoots the cake.

"Agent Michael scarn,
you so funny. Word."

Michael's movie?
Two thumbs down.

"A man, sitting several seats
down, who has a gold face,

"turns to Michael scarn."

Oscar? Do you want
to play "golden face"?

"Mr. Scarn, perhaps you would be
more comfortable in my private jet."

"Yes, perhaps I would, golden
face. Sam, get my luggage."

"I forget it, brother."

"Samuel, you are such an idiot.

"You are the worst assistant
ever and you're disgusting."

"Dwigt." wait, who's dwigt?

Pam:
Here's what we think happened.

Michael's sidekick,

who all through the movie,
is this complete idiot

who's causing the downfall
of the United States,

was originally named Dwight,

but then Michael changed it
to Samuel I. Chang

using a search and replace.

But that doesn't work
on misspelled words,

leaving behind one "dwigt."

And Dwight figured it out.

Oops!

D-w-i-g-h-t.

Okay, you know what? I am
done with this. That's it. The end.

Jim: Well, some of us wanna
keep reading, if you don't...

You don't speak for everyone,
Jim. Okay, announcement.

My uncle bought me
some fireworks.

And anyone who wants to see a
real show, come with me outside now.

Jim:
That's actually a good idea.

We'll all take
a brief intermission.

Hey, are you hungry?

Yeah. Yeah?

And so, after watching my
mom go through so much pain,

I decided to keep that
promise that I made to her,

and take care of her.

Well, this brings us to jan. Truth
or dare. Tell us about your divorce.

Oh, no! Michael. Michael.

Michael. Michael, please. No.
Do, right?

Really. It's... hey, you
say you're not gonna play.

She's not playing.
She's not playing the game.

It isn't fair. We'd been
fighting for a while.

Check, please.
He didn't want kids.

I knew that going into it,
but he also knew that I did.

So I guess I thought that
he would change his mind,

he thought
that I would change mine.

You didn't?

I was stupid.

No, no, you were not stupid.

Gould was stupid, right?

That's right.

You know? You were really brave.

I mean, you put your arms
out there, you slit your wrists.

That's true.

You said, "world, this is my
blood, it's red, just like yours.

"So love me."

Jim: I had plans to meet a friend
tonight, which I had to cancel.

But this is cool, too.

I'm not a complainer.

Wow.

For the bugs.

Nice.

And that's excellent
because bugs love

my famous grilled
cheese sandwich.

Yes.

Nice.

I can't remember the last
time someone made me dinner.

Yeah!

Yes!

Right down the street?

Kenneth road, born and raised.

Spent my whole life right
here in lackawanna county

and I do not intend on moving.

I know this place. I know
how many hospitals we have.

I know how many schools
we have. It's home, you know?

I know the challenges that
this county is up against.

Here's the thing about those
discount suppliers, they don't care.

They come in,
they undercut everything,

and they run us out of business.

And then, once we're all gone,
theyjack up the prices.

I know. It's bad.

It's terrible.

It is. You know what?
It really is.

I don't know.

I guess I could give you guys our business,
but you have to meet me halfway, okay,

because they're expecting me
to make cuts.

Well, corporate's gonna go
ballistic, but you think we could, jan?

So I guess I'll see you in

10 hours.

What are you gonna do
with your time off?

Travel.

Yeah.

I've been looking fonnard to it.

It's gonna be

really nice.
I'm gonna find myself.

You have new music?

Yeah.

Definitely.

See you!

Thanks.

We did it. Yes!

We got it! I mean, we got it! We
nailed it! Nailed it! Come here. Yes!

I am really thrilled.

Let's go.

What? Let's go.

Going... okay. Where're
we going? Doesn't matter.

Going to the go-go.

Okay.

Michael?

Michael?

Michael?

His car's
not in the parking lot.

I should check
the accident reports.

Who's this?

Jan.

Good morning, Pam.

Hey.

No, nothing happened.

I swear. Nothing happened.

What? I'm totally being serious.

A gentleman does not kiss
and tell. And neither do I.

No, seriously, guys, I'm not...

I don't
want to go into it at all.

It's off-limits.

Fine. I took her back to her hotel
and we made out for a little while.

It was great. I mean, she
told me about her divorce,

we talked for about five hours,

she fell asleep on my arm, so...

Hello, Dwight.

Did you do her?

Who?

Jan Levinson-gould.

No, no. No gould.

Did you do her?

This is none of your affair.

Because she is your boss...

And she is your boss.

And she is a woman.

She is a strong,
soft, thoughtful,

sexy woman.

And you know what?
I don't think I can sit here

and let you talk about her that
way without me defending her honor.

Jan, I defend your honor.

Isthatah?

Jan didn't
come back for her car last night.

What?

Could it be
that agent Michael scarn

has finally found
his Catherine zeta?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, my god. This is jan's cell.

No way.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

I know we have to register

as a consensual sexual
relationship with hr.

My question,
do I do it as the man?

Does she do it as my superior?
I don't know.

That leads to other issues that
we may have in our relationship.

It's... excuse me.

Hello?

Hi. Just talking about you.

To the camera? No.

Uh-huh.

How's traffic? I miss you. What?

Okay.

Well, if it was a mistake,
it was a wonderful mistake.

No. Could you just...

No, I did not intentionally
get you drunk.

Mmm-hmm.

No, no.

This is just a fight.

This is just the first of many
fights we're going to have.

Right.

See, you_. I don't understand.
You want to see other people?

Only other people? Why?

Okay, I think you're
still a little bit drunk.

Excuse me. Excuse me?

I think you're... yes, why
don't you just come back here?

We can go to the hotel,
have a few drinks.

No, I didn't slip you something.

Some might even say we
had our first date last night.

Oh, really? Really.

Why might some say that?

'Cause there was dinner
by candlelight.

Mmm-hmm.

Dinner and a show, if you
include Michael's movie.

And there was dancing and
fireworks. Pretty good date.

We didn't dance.

You're right. We didn't dance.
It was more like swaying.

But it's still romantic.

Swaying isn't dancing.

At least I didn't leave you
at a high school hockey game.

I have some faxes to get out.

Oh, come on, Pam. I...

Jim: Okay, we didn't dance.

And I was totallyjoking,
anyway. I mean...

It's not really a date if the
girl goes home to her fiance.

Right?