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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Back to school night.
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I'm Paige Sobel.
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I'm here for my little brother, Shay.
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So, you're my competition, Vanilla?
I'll still kick your minor ass.
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Since you don't have any insurance, we'll be billing you for the charges directly.
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How am I gonna come up with that money?
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I'm desperate to find a caterer for our next week fundraiser.
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Helena is a caterer.
I am?
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Are you free Friday, Helena?
Yeah.
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I cannot believe you fucked my boss.
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I'm not gonna let this get out of hand.
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May I introduce you to our estimed artist in residence, Jodi Lerner.
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This is her assistant, Tom Mater.
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If you wanna say something, talk to me, not Tom.
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I only choose books to review that hold significance to me.
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Why does "Some of Her Parts" hold significance to you?
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My partner's a survivor.
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"...self indulgent and self pitying"?
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Fuck you, Stacey Merkin!
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Is this Sounder?
I'll take her.
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How long have you had her, Debbie?
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About 11 eleven years,
My longuest relationship.
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That's my girlfriend, Stacey.
She's a journalist.
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I'd love to get lessons from you.
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I'm probably pretty rusty.
I'm not.
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I've been living as a man,
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and soon I'm physically gonna be one as well.
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I don't date freaks.
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You fucking freak!
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Hello Angus.
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Hey.
Hi sweet heart.
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She's in a really crappy mood.
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Yes, come here gorgeous.
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You want to see Mickey?
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Let's go play with Mickey.
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Yes, come.
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Hey Angelica, do you wanna come play?
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Go get him tiger. Here you go.
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Do you wanna coloring?
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Is Tina not here?
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Tina and Henry decided at the last minute they're going to the theater.
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I had a really sucky day.
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What was sucky of it?
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Oh, it's just crap, it's just...
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fighting with my former best friends
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about who wants to publishing the songs
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I totally wrote but generously gave them,
credit on. That kind of suck.
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I'm sorry that was making you crabby.
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I uh...
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was still hoping you to give me a lesson playing guitar.
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But uh...
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Yeah, you come by the studio some time
I'll give you some points on the technic.
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I might take up on that.
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And when we're finished, I'll show you how to clean up.
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Hello Tom.
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Dean.
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Hey Dean Porter.
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Glad to see Tom is getting to know some of the students.
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What about you?
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Are you still sleeping with Nadia?
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Excuse me?
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She said, "are you still fucking Nadia".
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Thank you, I got the gist of it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
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Just a friendly question out of curiosity.
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Maybe a little concern.
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I mean, Nadia's not a poker face, you know.
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Well, don't believe everything you hear.
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Well, I see a lot more than I hear.
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I'm sorry. I didn't... I fell into that one.
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I made a few mistakes when I taught at Columbia.
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But, you know, following the rules is not always my
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thing. Um, excuse me?
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Brittany girl was a big,
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big mistake.
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Brittany. I see.
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She was a Columbia graduate student,
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and I made a mistake with her.
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She turned her senior thesis
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into a life-size sculpture
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of me,
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naked. It was pretty good.
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But she should have made my breasts bigger.
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Well, I'm glad to hear there were no more serious repercutions and
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I'll try to be more careful than you.
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Ooh, don't be too careful,
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that's dreary.
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Thank you for the advice.
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I'll see you tomorrow.
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Yeah, AVC's money munch.
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You know, fundraiser at the Chancelor residence.
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Right.
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Poor Sounder.
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Debbie, I did everything I could for her, but she's,
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she's naughty anxious, has kidney failure and she's in a lot of pain.
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This is the right thing to do.
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Are you sure?
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I'm sure.
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Are you sure she has to die?
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It's her time to go, Debbie.
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That's a girl.
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Here you go.
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You gave her a wonderful life, Debbie.
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No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
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No, I didn't.
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Hey, listen, why don't you uh...
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Would you let me take you out to dinner. We'll,
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we'll celebrate Sounder, have a drink in her honor, huh?
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Okay.
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Hit all dead golfers
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before easter.
That's how I remember.
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That's funny, and gross.
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Yeah.
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Okay, so you got the A and the E and the D cords down
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so now you just gotta work on your stream.
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That's the one thing I cannot seem to master.
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Yeah, well, it's uh,
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you just wanna, you want to keep your wrist sort of loose.
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And relax, and uh, you just,
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you wanna keep this up and down movement on
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no matter what.
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I don't usually have a problem keeping my up and down movement.
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So, yeah, you keep the
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wrist loose and up and down
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and then you just strength the strings with the rythm you want.
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It's good, Kit.
Yeah?
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Really?
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I haven't played it for Angus yet.
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He's been so down on himself lately.
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It's good. Could cheer him up.
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I'm hoping.
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Can I listen?
Oh, no, no, no.
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It's a little too nasty for you now.
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No. No.
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Stop this too, it's not good for you.
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What's up, beautiful?
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Hola Papi.
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Yo, Vanilla.
Yo, Pops.
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We never finished our game.
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Oh yeah, I know.
I'm not much of a basketball player.
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No shit?
But we've got to do something
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'cause this little problema is unresolved.
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Look, I've got to tell you, I...
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I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
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Oh, really? Alright, so let me break this down for you, okay?
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Now that you're in my solar system, I can't have you dimming my stars and shit.
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You must be kidding!
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Yeah, seriously, that's Alice's thing.
That's not me.
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Fuck, man, I'm just fuckin' wit you.
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Like the foxy lady said, I'm just kidding.
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We're good then?
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Sure.
Come on, are we good?
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Yeah.
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I couldn't believe that guy.
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I thought he'd never stop hitting on us.
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Oh, that's typical of the guy,
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sees two women together, thinks he's so needed.
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I just wanna check out...
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He's so totally wrong 'cause we have everything
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anyone did ever want.
Just being together.
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I just, I just wanna check on Helena really quick.
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No...
Come on, she's been cooking all day
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and I haven't seen her. Hey!
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Well, it smells really good in here.
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Well there's five kinds of crotinis,
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3 per person, already for...
How does that sound?
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Oh it seems very good.
I'm sure it'll be wonderful.
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We have quiches with leek, bacon and quarter... of...
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We have belgian endives with...
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We have chicken satay with tamarin sauce.
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And it's all gonna be ready for your party tomorrow evening
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despite the fact that my assistant hasn't been
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in capacity to buy...
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Do you need, do you need help?
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No, no, it's okay, I've put all under control.
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Really? 'Cause I'm a good chopper.
I can chop.
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No, you know what?
She can handle it. Come on honey.
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Really?
Come on!
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Have fun girls.
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Wooo! Cool your jets, there, Phyllis.
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Don't you wanna take a shower or something?
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Why? Do I need one?
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No.
Oh, I have a surprise for you.
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Good...
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What, what, what...
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Do you slide little dog?
How did you get that in here?
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What is it?
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Well, doesn't sound like a diamond necklace.
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It's very disappointing.
Is it a motor cycle?
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Wow!
"The Whole Lesbians Sex Book"
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Is it a faux pas?
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No, no.
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I was thinking we were having such a wonderful time and,
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just to try to keep everything
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just fresh and exciting, maybe we could experiment.
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Right, right, right, right.
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Like, uh... Let's see.
Oh!
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Anilingus!
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Yeah?
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Sure.
Yeah.
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You know what, I'm sorry.
Yes! Yes, let's experiment!
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Come on, Phyllis.
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I wanna do everything else that's described in that book.
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Everything single thing.
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Everything, every single thing?
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You know, you're gonna wear me out, woman. I swear to God.
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I'm gonna need like a little pinch hitter, right?
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No, you're the only one I need.
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Really?
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I mean, you don't limit yourself, you know what I mean, there's like
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a lot of really fabulous women out there, Phillys.
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What woud I need another fabulous woman?
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Because you should, you know.
You're a new star.
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00:12:51,996 --> 00:12:55,232
You're gonna be very sick of staying in this tiny little orbit.
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Oh, you and your charts and your solar systems.
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Alice, you and I are binary stars.
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Right.
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Orbiting a central system of mass.
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Bound by gravity.
Okay.
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Wild Phyllis!
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Oh, do it again. Do it again.
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The thing,
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that I was closest to
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in the world that you just want as a child
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was this little creature, named Bootsie,
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who was the most trustworthy soul that I knew when I was a child.
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I know what you mean, Debbie.
That's why I became a vet.
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Why?
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Why? You don't trust people?
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Well, I didn't, not for a long time after I...
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After what?
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Did something happen to you?
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I'd rather not talk about it.
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I don't think it's really fair to force people to
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express sympathy for something bad that's happened to you in your childhood.
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Oh please, I'm so sorry.
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But you know what?
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Own the shit that happens to you as a child,
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'cause it can make you better as an adult.
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Yeah, but I can't 'cause then maybe I'd feel vulnerable.
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You know, like...
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You know.
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You're kinda sexy.
Oh God.
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God, and you have nice tits,
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and you're sweating under your arms and
you're nervous and I wanna kiss you.
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And I feel like kissing you.
248
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But I can't.
249
00:14:31,897 --> 00:14:32,983
Why?
250
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Because I have a girlfriend.
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Although we're kinda having problems right now.
252
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Oh, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, I bet you are.
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Why are you having problems?
254
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I don't know. It's just that she's working a lot and...
255
00:14:52,757 --> 00:14:55,241
Stacey's a journalist, you know, and when she's writing, she's...
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00:14:55,337 --> 00:14:57,211
She's a writer?
Yeah.
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00:14:58,948 --> 00:15:00,433
What? She just,
258
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she gets totally focused on her work and then
259
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she's, like, obsessive and self-absorbed.
260
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:08,033
Oh, my God, I just have this image in my mind of her.
261
00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:11,071
And she just becomes this fuckin cunt
262
00:15:11,326 --> 00:15:15,251
and just turns out page after page of utter shit
263
00:15:15,535 --> 00:15:18,183
that she thinks is worth all the ego
264
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,382
and maniacal behavior.
265
00:15:21,656 --> 00:15:23,531
She is a good person and
266
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,780
she is smart, and she is funny, and
267
00:15:25,845 --> 00:15:27,931
she's just a little insecured.
That's all.
268
00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,261
Where does she live?
269
00:15:30,546 --> 00:15:33,062
Van Nuys?
She lives in Berbank.
270
00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:34,663
We have an arrangement, right?
271
00:15:34,715 --> 00:15:36,451
Like she's supposed to come up every other week end,
272
00:15:36,457 --> 00:15:38,243
we're supposed to go down every other week end.
273
00:15:38,525 --> 00:15:41,290
It hardly ever happened.
She hasn't been here for over a month.
274
00:15:41,367 --> 00:15:43,690
I go down to L.A. all the time.
That's bullshit.
275
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,483
You should be with somebody who puts
276
00:15:45,526 --> 00:15:47,153
you first
277
00:15:47,195 --> 00:15:49,462
and who treats you like a princess.
278
00:15:51,598 --> 00:15:55,782
She's... she's driven and she's talented and
279
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,701
I feel honored to support that.
I do.
280
00:15:59,156 --> 00:16:00,813
You seem like you love her.
281
00:16:00,828 --> 00:16:02,941
I love her and...
282
00:16:05,096 --> 00:16:08,033
Yeah, sometimes it feels like
I'm the last thing on her list. Yeah.
283
00:16:08,957 --> 00:16:10,380
Right.
284
00:16:13,246 --> 00:16:14,423
She's coming up tomorrow.
285
00:16:14,428 --> 00:16:16,101
We'll see how it goes.
Good.
286
00:16:16,848 --> 00:16:18,112
It's very good.
287
00:16:18,388 --> 00:16:20,353
Make her come up here more.
288
00:16:20,738 --> 00:16:22,443
Make her work for you.
289
00:16:23,885 --> 00:16:25,971
Can we talk about something else, please?
290
00:16:27,015 --> 00:16:28,002
Okay.
291
00:16:30,075 --> 00:16:32,120
Like what are you doing this week end?
292
00:16:32,706 --> 00:16:34,210
Well,
293
00:16:36,058 --> 00:16:40,240
I've been terribly distraught about the dog being put down,
294
00:16:40,577 --> 00:16:43,592
so I'm rather behind on my schoolwork.
295
00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:44,910
Schoolwork?
296
00:16:45,057 --> 00:16:46,453
What are you studying?
297
00:16:46,585 --> 00:16:47,680
Seriously?
298
00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:52,491
The gentle manatees of northeast Florida.
299
00:16:52,535 --> 00:16:53,462
What?!
300
00:16:57,408 --> 00:16:58,383
Really...
301
00:16:58,426 --> 00:17:00,570
I love it that you're studying manatees.
302
00:17:03,777 --> 00:17:06,611
I mean, raising a kid is a career.
Come on.
303
00:17:06,638 --> 00:17:08,491
I... Okay, it's not like...
304
00:17:08,496 --> 00:17:10,222
But it's not. I mean, it's a different...
305
00:17:10,227 --> 00:17:11,872
I don't mean it that way.
Yes, it is.
306
00:17:13,307 --> 00:17:15,720
She will go weird.
I didn't mean to insult her.
307
00:17:15,728 --> 00:17:17,070
But I don't...
But you did!
308
00:17:18,517 --> 00:17:19,833
Oh, god! Sorry.
309
00:17:19,886 --> 00:17:23,071
I just don't think it's good to be totally dependant on another person.
310
00:17:23,535 --> 00:17:26,753
Well, how?
Like when Bette supported you?
311
00:17:26,815 --> 00:17:29,123
I took time off to have a baby!
312
00:17:29,185 --> 00:17:31,193
That's just crazy. She just...
313
00:17:33,555 --> 00:17:35,853
Fuck!
Oh my God!
314
00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:40,571
I want another lesson.
315
00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:01,321
She is so fired.
316
00:18:06,397 --> 00:18:07,271
Hey.
317
00:18:07,577 --> 00:18:09,383
Hi.
What you getting?
318
00:18:09,415 --> 00:18:10,793
Just this comics.
319
00:18:10,826 --> 00:18:11,902
Cool.
Hey!
320
00:18:11,937 --> 00:18:13,113
Hey.
321
00:18:13,308 --> 00:18:14,892
He has a playdate with his friend.
322
00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:15,893
Nice!
323
00:18:15,945 --> 00:18:19,201
That's probably the last word on earth
I ever expected to be uttered from your lips.
324
00:18:19,225 --> 00:18:21,912
Well, the playdate goes well, we might try first sleepover.
325
00:18:21,916 --> 00:18:23,202
Nice.
Yeah.
326
00:18:23,845 --> 00:18:25,013
What do you got?
327
00:18:25,256 --> 00:18:26,701
Just these two.
328
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:29,042
Uh, just choose one.
Two.
329
00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:31,123
One for me, and one for Jared.
Please.
330
00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:33,433
Hey, did you hear that
Jenny has an article on The New Yorker?
331
00:18:33,527 --> 00:18:34,842
Yeah, I heard about that.
332
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,951
I think it's pretty cool.
"Lez Girls", by Jennifer Schecter.
333
00:18:38,025 --> 00:18:39,212
Isn't she clever.
334
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:41,521
Nice play on words.
335
00:18:42,027 --> 00:18:44,350
"Lez Girls", Jenny, very cute.
336
00:18:44,416 --> 00:18:46,552
Buy it. Tell me what you think.
I don't already have it.
337
00:19:00,318 --> 00:19:01,421
Yeah, come in.
338
00:19:03,205 --> 00:19:04,251
Oh, hey.
339
00:19:04,346 --> 00:19:05,933
How was Tokyo?
340
00:19:05,985 --> 00:19:07,642
I spoke to Brooke.
341
00:19:11,095 --> 00:19:13,331
She told me she ended with you.
342
00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:17,562
Max, I'm very troubled.
343
00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:20,951
I don't know what she said to you,
344
00:19:21,457 --> 00:19:24,913
I don't know how she explained it, but I, I had to be honest, you know?
345
00:19:24,947 --> 00:19:27,790
You know, my daughter goes through guys
the way she goes through clothes.
346
00:19:28,407 --> 00:19:30,751
One day, she can't live without him,
347
00:19:30,796 --> 00:19:32,952
and a week later he's the worst crime in fashion
348
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:34,531
unless we have a proper trader.
349
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,391
I'm starting to lose hope for her.
350
00:19:38,547 --> 00:19:40,371
I guess that's just women, huh?
351
00:19:42,065 --> 00:19:43,003
Max,
352
00:19:44,137 --> 00:19:45,670
you know, I don't want you to think for a minute
353
00:19:45,678 --> 00:19:47,740
that's gonna have any bearing on your job.
354
00:19:47,778 --> 00:19:49,430
You understand what I'm saying.
355
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:50,571
Yeah.
356
00:19:50,915 --> 00:19:52,633
I'm gonna let you go back to work.
357
00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:53,820
Okay.
358
00:20:17,088 --> 00:20:20,163
Gross, mum!
Oh please.
359
00:20:40,575 --> 00:20:43,320
Hey. Hi Shay.
360
00:20:43,565 --> 00:20:46,743
Jared is in his...
Shay, come here! I'm in the...
361
00:20:47,805 --> 00:20:50,182
Otherwise known as his bedroom.
362
00:20:52,928 --> 00:20:54,170
Come on in.
363
00:20:55,598 --> 00:20:57,092
No, I should probably get to work,
364
00:20:57,095 --> 00:20:58,421
to be honest.
365
00:20:58,878 --> 00:21:00,061
Just for
366
00:21:00,065 --> 00:21:01,613
a cup of coffee.
367
00:21:04,058 --> 00:21:04,862
Okay.
368
00:21:04,867 --> 00:21:06,393
Yeah.
Sure.
369
00:21:21,528 --> 00:21:23,030
Thanks for meeting me.
370
00:21:23,138 --> 00:21:25,310
I wanted to see you in person.
371
00:21:25,408 --> 00:21:26,252
Sure.
372
00:21:27,305 --> 00:21:28,520
It's about Kit.
373
00:21:31,015 --> 00:21:33,791
I'm pretty sure that Angus is
374
00:21:34,318 --> 00:21:35,760
cheating on her.
375
00:21:37,435 --> 00:21:39,260
What are you talking about?
376
00:21:39,325 --> 00:21:40,963
I don't believe that for a second.
377
00:21:41,006 --> 00:21:43,320
He's completely devoted to her.
378
00:21:43,708 --> 00:21:44,860
I saw him.
379
00:21:44,938 --> 00:21:48,143
What did you see?
What? Where?
380
00:21:48,548 --> 00:21:49,720
With Hazel.
381
00:21:50,528 --> 00:21:51,910
The nanny...
382
00:21:51,966 --> 00:21:53,530
Henry and I were coming home
383
00:21:53,557 --> 00:21:54,921
and they were...
I knew it.
384
00:21:54,955 --> 00:21:57,031
I knew that you were gonna move in with him.
385
00:21:57,235 --> 00:21:58,553
I did.
386
00:21:58,588 --> 00:22:00,033
I didn't move in with him.
387
00:22:00,065 --> 00:22:01,140
Okay.
388
00:22:01,555 --> 00:22:03,870
Come on, I stay the night sometimes.
389
00:22:03,917 --> 00:22:05,330
Okay.
390
00:22:05,576 --> 00:22:08,370
Anyway, we were coming back from the theater
391
00:22:08,407 --> 00:22:09,913
and as we drove up
392
00:22:09,946 --> 00:22:11,803
there they were, just
393
00:22:11,818 --> 00:22:12,983
making out.
394
00:22:13,018 --> 00:22:14,863
They were completely
395
00:22:14,868 --> 00:22:16,733
all...
What can I get you?
396
00:22:16,778 --> 00:22:18,172
Are you guys ready to order?
397
00:22:18,277 --> 00:22:19,270
I'll have a
398
00:22:19,315 --> 00:22:20,472
Cobb salad.
Cobb salad.
399
00:22:20,566 --> 00:22:21,700
For both of you?
400
00:22:21,745 --> 00:22:22,981
Yes, please.
401
00:22:23,065 --> 00:22:24,342
That will be it?
402
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:25,950
Yeah.
Yeah, just...
403
00:22:31,037 --> 00:22:32,600
And did they see you?
404
00:22:33,125 --> 00:22:34,121
No.
405
00:22:35,015 --> 00:22:37,351
We were so freaked out that we hit from them.
406
00:22:37,917 --> 00:22:40,532
But they were all over each other.
407
00:22:40,537 --> 00:22:42,500
Like grinding and sucking and fucking...
408
00:22:42,506 --> 00:22:44,873
They might as well be fucking right there in front of us.
409
00:22:44,915 --> 00:22:46,790
I don't, I don't need the details.
410
00:22:47,015 --> 00:22:48,593
What do we gonna do about it?
411
00:22:48,637 --> 00:22:51,520
What do you mean, what do we gonna do
about it? We're gonna stay out of it, Tina.
412
00:22:51,555 --> 00:22:52,441
Well...
413
00:22:53,526 --> 00:22:56,411
I just don't think that's fair to Kit.
I don't know if I can do that.
414
00:22:56,515 --> 00:22:58,000
What do you mean you don't know if you can do that.
415
00:22:58,007 --> 00:22:59,531
What business is it of yours?
416
00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:03,202
I care about Kit.
None of us wants to see her get hurt.
417
00:23:03,258 --> 00:23:05,130
Well then don't tell her you saw the man that she loves
418
00:23:05,137 --> 00:23:06,650
sucking your nanny's face.
419
00:23:06,716 --> 00:23:09,451
Well, she's gonna find out, eventually.
420
00:23:09,475 --> 00:23:11,133
And I can tell you from experience
421
00:23:11,138 --> 00:23:13,200
it's much more painful seeing it with your own eyes.
422
00:23:13,247 --> 00:23:14,553
Give me a fucking break.
I mean, don't act
423
00:23:14,556 --> 00:23:16,543
like you're the only person who's ever been hurt.
424
00:23:21,087 --> 00:23:23,073
And I don't want you talking to Kit.
425
00:23:24,896 --> 00:23:25,603
Okay.
426
00:23:25,608 --> 00:23:27,060
Fine.
427
00:23:28,027 --> 00:23:29,530
That's fine.
428
00:23:31,338 --> 00:23:33,003
I'm gonna tell her if you don't.
429
00:23:34,556 --> 00:23:36,200
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
430
00:23:37,037 --> 00:23:38,460
Alright? I don't know what I'm gonna do.
431
00:23:38,468 --> 00:23:40,670
I need some time to think about it.
But in the meantime, keep your mouth shut.
432
00:23:40,716 --> 00:23:42,601
Please? Thank you.
433
00:23:49,055 --> 00:23:51,493
Oh my fucking god!
Have you read this?
434
00:23:51,526 --> 00:23:52,493
Alice!
435
00:23:52,718 --> 00:23:54,820
Jenny trashed us all over The New Yorker.
436
00:23:54,868 --> 00:23:57,600
We're all over this thing.
What do you mean she trashed us?
437
00:23:58,225 --> 00:23:59,870
"Lez Girls",
438
00:24:00,025 --> 00:24:03,310
new fiction, part one of a serial lives novella
439
00:24:03,318 --> 00:24:05,591
by author of "Some of Her Parts",
440
00:24:05,608 --> 00:24:06,843
Nice one, Jenny.
441
00:24:07,806 --> 00:24:10,433
"Elyse clung to the bisexual label
442
00:24:10,435 --> 00:24:12,622
not out of any genuine affection for men,
443
00:24:12,627 --> 00:24:15,462
she clung to it out of sheer fashion desperation"
444
00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:17,500
Oh and this is priceless.
445
00:24:18,006 --> 00:24:21,811
"Elyse was ground zero of a rumor and hearsay
446
00:24:21,816 --> 00:24:24,632
and it was hard to imagine she had any time for actual romance
447
00:24:24,635 --> 00:24:26,501
straight or bisexual or otherwise
448
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:27,533
'cause she spends so much time
449
00:24:27,548 --> 00:24:30,500
obssessing over other people's sexual comings and goings"
450
00:24:30,536 --> 00:24:32,423
What? Do you think that sounds like you?
451
00:24:32,468 --> 00:24:35,211
Elyse, the bisexual gossip?
Yeah.
452
00:24:35,247 --> 00:24:38,250
Alice! No, no, you can't do that.
453
00:24:39,065 --> 00:24:41,852
And Alice, it doesn't even sound like you.
I mean,
454
00:24:41,957 --> 00:24:43,243
it's fiction.
455
00:24:43,507 --> 00:24:45,371
Fiction my ass!
It's about
456
00:24:45,375 --> 00:24:49,513
an innocent but open-hearted photographer from the Midwest, Jessie Star,
457
00:24:49,556 --> 00:24:51,991
who moved to Los Angeles to be with her boyfriend
458
00:24:52,026 --> 00:24:53,882
and is seduced by Karina,
459
00:24:53,887 --> 00:24:57,053
you know, the proprietress of an italian café.
460
00:24:57,125 --> 00:24:58,273
Karina?
461
00:24:58,298 --> 00:25:00,732
Is that supposed to be...?
Marina, yeah.
462
00:25:03,037 --> 00:25:07,413
"Jessie and Tod move next door to a lesbian couple, Bev and Nina"
463
00:25:08,258 --> 00:25:10,591
Wow, that's a little close to the bone.
464
00:25:10,638 --> 00:25:12,390
It's more like sucking on the marrow.
465
00:25:12,555 --> 00:25:15,471
Bev is a power dyke in a publishing world
466
00:25:16,007 --> 00:25:18,321
and Nina is just decribed so mean,
467
00:25:19,585 --> 00:25:21,703
"a bi-curious straight girl,
468
00:25:21,705 --> 00:25:24,143
a girl who would waste eight years of someone else's life
469
00:25:24,145 --> 00:25:26,743
trying out an identity that was never going to fit her"
470
00:25:27,518 --> 00:25:31,373
That's mean. That's really harsh.
I know. You told me.
471
00:25:31,455 --> 00:25:33,890
This is so fucking good. Where did you...
Don't eat them anymore.
472
00:25:33,998 --> 00:25:36,372
You're not allowed anymore.
I'm hungry.
473
00:25:36,458 --> 00:25:38,572
Your girlfriend's gonna tell me off if you eat all my food.
474
00:25:38,615 --> 00:25:41,143
Oh, you know what, she's not my girlfriend.
475
00:25:41,178 --> 00:25:43,520
No, I mean it.
You're doing great
476
00:25:43,528 --> 00:25:46,300
under really intense circumstances.
477
00:25:46,705 --> 00:25:49,561
He broke his arms. Poor thing.
478
00:25:49,907 --> 00:25:52,650
Do you have a medical insurance?
479
00:25:52,708 --> 00:25:54,480
Uh, no I don't.
480
00:25:55,057 --> 00:25:57,703
Ooh, you really have taking on a lot.
481
00:25:57,746 --> 00:25:59,311
How are you managing?
482
00:25:59,405 --> 00:26:02,291
Well, I, I took another job to help pay for
483
00:26:02,298 --> 00:26:04,302
his arm and everything that comes with it.
484
00:26:04,338 --> 00:26:07,010
That's a bitch.
My heart goes out to you.
485
00:26:07,246 --> 00:26:10,171
But uh, we do what we have to do, right?
486
00:26:10,808 --> 00:26:14,992
I bartend at the Beauty Bar, on Cahuenga.
487
00:26:15,007 --> 00:26:17,932
Isn't that the place with the hair salon chairs?
488
00:26:17,938 --> 00:26:18,733
Yep.
489
00:26:19,196 --> 00:26:21,943
You want cream, sugar, in your coffee?
490
00:26:21,956 --> 00:26:24,102
Just a little cream.
It's fine.
491
00:26:24,145 --> 00:26:26,451
Yeah, yeah, the money's great,
492
00:26:26,486 --> 00:26:29,400
so I work here a few nights a week and
493
00:26:31,405 --> 00:26:34,853
when Jared's at school, I do telemarketing from home.
494
00:26:34,895 --> 00:26:37,713
So the rest of free time we spend it together.
495
00:26:38,308 --> 00:26:40,442
We do what we have to do, right?
496
00:26:40,486 --> 00:26:42,392
Well, some of us do,
497
00:26:42,405 --> 00:26:46,062
and some of us don't take any responsibility at all.
498
00:26:47,408 --> 00:26:49,191
Like Jared's father.
499
00:26:52,638 --> 00:26:56,472
I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm over it.
500
00:26:57,698 --> 00:27:00,580
I'd be happy to never fucking another man in my life.
501
00:27:03,096 --> 00:27:04,463
The cream went off.
502
00:27:06,275 --> 00:27:07,583
It's okay.
503
00:27:09,807 --> 00:27:11,592
I'm just sorry for Jared.
504
00:27:12,188 --> 00:27:15,242
That's all. He,
he wishes he has a dad.
505
00:27:16,008 --> 00:27:18,362
Well, he's got a pretty incredible mom.
506
00:27:23,007 --> 00:27:24,510
Uh, but...
507
00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:27,390
I'm guessing you must have been, what, 16 when you had him?
508
00:27:28,007 --> 00:27:29,241
18.
509
00:27:30,506 --> 00:27:34,230
But sometimes I feel like I'm a million years old.
510
00:27:34,687 --> 00:27:39,020
And before you know it, I will be too old and wretched to
511
00:27:39,027 --> 00:27:42,471
pick up the pieces.
Oh, please, you're beautiful.
512
00:27:43,906 --> 00:27:46,072
I don't think you have to worry about that.
513
00:27:47,705 --> 00:27:49,210
Are you hitting on me?
514
00:27:53,598 --> 00:27:54,920
I wasn't, um...
515
00:27:55,206 --> 00:27:58,290
but I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable
516
00:27:59,186 --> 00:28:01,031
if you think I was.
517
00:28:02,877 --> 00:28:06,173
No, no, I'm sorry.
518
00:28:06,268 --> 00:28:08,002
I was hoping you were.
519
00:28:12,807 --> 00:28:14,880
Mom, can I go to the Beverly Center now?
520
00:28:14,945 --> 00:28:17,420
I wanna show Shay the bionicals before the movie.
521
00:28:17,505 --> 00:28:19,463
Yeah, I should get to work too.
522
00:28:20,906 --> 00:28:23,520
Yeah. Why don't you two go back to the part you put your shoes on
523
00:28:23,528 --> 00:28:24,553
and then we'll go.
524
00:28:28,206 --> 00:28:29,930
Really in timing.
525
00:28:29,936 --> 00:28:31,023
Yeah.
526
00:28:33,846 --> 00:28:36,291
Well, uh, thank you for the coffee.
527
00:28:36,356 --> 00:28:38,310
I hope we can do it again.
528
00:28:39,357 --> 00:28:40,863
Me too.
529
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:43,852
Thank you for watching Shay as well.
530
00:28:43,905 --> 00:28:45,362
It's my pleasure.
531
00:28:46,068 --> 00:28:47,601
I'll talk to you later.
532
00:28:54,578 --> 00:28:56,622
Oh, that looks wonderful.
533
00:28:56,707 --> 00:28:57,851
Thank you.
534
00:28:57,906 --> 00:29:01,723
So I called the delivery people.
They'll be here in about half an hour.
535
00:29:01,806 --> 00:29:03,063
Oh, thank you honey.
536
00:29:05,508 --> 00:29:08,092
Go sit by the fire.
You've getting under foot.
537
00:29:13,907 --> 00:29:16,842
Paroles of being executive vice chancelor.
538
00:29:16,905 --> 00:29:19,580
She certainly manages to squeeze a lot in.
539
00:29:19,618 --> 00:29:21,662
You know what? Up at Stanford,
540
00:29:21,706 --> 00:29:24,190
she shared at least 15 committees
541
00:29:25,008 --> 00:29:26,933
she pretty much single handledly
542
00:29:26,938 --> 00:29:31,050
resurrected the School Engineering.
543
00:29:31,107 --> 00:29:32,372
It's my department.
544
00:29:35,018 --> 00:29:38,291
Oh no, no. You can't have them.
They haven't been cooked yet.
545
00:29:38,807 --> 00:29:39,753
Well, uh,
546
00:29:40,566 --> 00:29:42,601
let me know if I can help
547
00:29:42,956 --> 00:29:44,421
or anything, alright?
548
00:29:48,505 --> 00:29:50,401
I wish you were coming tonight.
549
00:29:50,805 --> 00:29:52,920
Leonard's just irritating hell outta me.
550
00:29:52,926 --> 00:29:55,282
I don't know why I asked him to come down for this.
551
00:29:57,505 --> 00:29:59,843
It was such a beautiful time last night.
552
00:29:59,848 --> 00:30:01,122
And this morning.
553
00:30:01,805 --> 00:30:02,881
I miss you.
554
00:30:03,616 --> 00:30:05,160
I love you.
555
00:30:07,507 --> 00:30:10,303
Call me later. No, don't call me.
I'll call you.
556
00:30:14,607 --> 00:30:17,710
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what?!
Hello, hello.
557
00:30:17,748 --> 00:30:19,520
Nice outfit.
I like yours.
558
00:30:19,557 --> 00:30:20,711
Those are Chris Lay.
559
00:30:20,756 --> 00:30:22,453
Chris Lay.
And the hat's cute too.
560
00:30:22,486 --> 00:30:24,441
Thanks.
Hey, Jen,
561
00:30:24,486 --> 00:30:26,003
we're going to Here, do you wanna come?
562
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:29,442
I'll just finish my diner and then go get change.
563
00:30:29,475 --> 00:30:31,170
Yes.
If she's going, I'm not going.
564
00:30:31,215 --> 00:30:32,461
Uh?
What?!
565
00:30:32,498 --> 00:30:33,810
What are you talking about?
566
00:30:33,848 --> 00:30:36,512
Jenny, you know what I'm talking about.
What are you talking about, Alice?
567
00:30:36,605 --> 00:30:40,002
No, just call me Elyse, the bisexual fashion victim.
568
00:30:40,007 --> 00:30:41,530
I'm sorry, is my hat too much?
569
00:30:41,577 --> 00:30:42,713
A little.
570
00:30:42,747 --> 00:30:44,541
What?
What are you talking about?
571
00:30:44,575 --> 00:30:46,793
Jenny wrote a story.
It was published in The New Yorker.
572
00:30:46,826 --> 00:30:48,270
We're all very, very excited for you, Jenny.
573
00:30:48,285 --> 00:30:50,141
No, no, no, I heard about it...
But we're in it.
574
00:30:51,205 --> 00:30:52,173
We're in it.
575
00:30:53,607 --> 00:30:56,170
Thank you, Alice, for being so gracious
576
00:30:56,176 --> 00:30:59,172
about my accomplishment of being published in The New Yorker.
577
00:30:59,207 --> 00:31:01,502
But, Alice, if you actually read beyond the cover...
578
00:31:01,538 --> 00:31:02,951
Oh, I read it.
You did?
579
00:31:02,998 --> 00:31:04,833
Yeah.
It's in the New Yorker fiction issue,
580
00:31:04,865 --> 00:31:08,062
therefore you'd see that it was actually a work of fiction.
581
00:31:08,106 --> 00:31:09,663
Oh, that's bullshit.
582
00:31:09,695 --> 00:31:11,630
I take it you haven't read this "story"?
583
00:31:11,676 --> 00:31:13,270
Clearly not, no.
584
00:31:13,318 --> 00:31:14,880
You read it. Tell her.
585
00:31:14,925 --> 00:31:16,481
Yeah, I read it.
586
00:31:16,526 --> 00:31:19,763
I mean, she claims that it's not you.
587
00:31:19,806 --> 00:31:22,643
It's not. I draw from my own life,
588
00:31:22,707 --> 00:31:26,603
and I use my friends and my own experiences as inspiration,
589
00:31:26,645 --> 00:31:28,271
but at the end of the day, it's fiction.
590
00:31:28,305 --> 00:31:29,972
Right. Right.
591
00:31:30,005 --> 00:31:32,623
Yeah, there's this character named Shaun, Shane,
592
00:31:32,705 --> 00:31:35,331
and, um she's a make-up artist?
Right? Correct?
593
00:31:35,406 --> 00:31:37,452
Yeah, and she sleeps with a lot of girls.
594
00:31:37,505 --> 00:31:39,180
That's not bad.
Hey, Alice.
595
00:31:39,226 --> 00:31:43,143
You know, there's this crazy, weird thing
that happens when you write.
596
00:31:43,176 --> 00:31:45,462
As a writer...
Wait, is this a lesson?
597
00:31:45,506 --> 00:31:46,713
Yeah!
In writing?!
598
00:31:46,756 --> 00:31:48,330
Yeah!
From Jenny Schecter?!
599
00:31:48,427 --> 00:31:50,740
Oh, fuck, let me grab a pen!
Get a pad too!
600
00:31:50,806 --> 00:31:53,963
So this thing that happens when you write is you draw from your own life,
601
00:31:54,006 --> 00:31:57,092
and then in turn, you take those experiences
602
00:31:57,105 --> 00:32:00,141
and you use something called imagination, Alice.
603
00:32:00,176 --> 00:32:02,680
Oh imagination!
Yeah.
604
00:32:02,758 --> 00:32:05,002
God, so that's the thing you were lacking
605
00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,763
when you could barely change our names, huh?
606
00:32:06,835 --> 00:32:09,263
Just a second. You guys...
Do you...
607
00:32:09,946 --> 00:32:11,332
Do you hear that?
608
00:32:12,405 --> 00:32:14,151
Oh, my God, it's Monet.
609
00:32:14,156 --> 00:32:17,581
Monet has come back from the dead and he wants me to give you a message.
610
00:32:17,606 --> 00:32:21,682
He says, "I am so sorry for sitting in front of my pond in France
611
00:32:21,687 --> 00:32:24,023
and sketching those water lilies
612
00:32:24,028 --> 00:32:27,410
and using the water lilies as actual inspiration."
613
00:32:27,417 --> 00:32:29,563
Sorry to offend, Alice.
614
00:32:29,656 --> 00:32:33,052
Oh, wait, he's talking to me! So weird. Huh?
615
00:32:37,056 --> 00:32:38,553
Ok, I'll tell her.
616
00:32:38,605 --> 00:32:41,562
He said don't ever fucking compare yourself to him.
617
00:32:43,405 --> 00:32:46,070
I was saying.
I'm not sure where I'm putting
618
00:32:46,075 --> 00:32:47,501
the slcupture yet.
619
00:32:48,138 --> 00:32:49,942
I did move my hamac in, though.
620
00:32:50,545 --> 00:32:53,530
At some point I like to
621
00:32:53,536 --> 00:32:55,772
sleep and work in the same place.
622
00:32:55,805 --> 00:32:58,513
So, I like to be intimate with my objects.
623
00:32:59,007 --> 00:33:01,543
And the objects being all this junk you're holding.
624
00:33:02,505 --> 00:33:04,191
That can sound rude.
625
00:33:04,907 --> 00:33:06,220
His tone uh...
626
00:33:06,408 --> 00:33:08,920
No, no, no, I got his tone.
It's okay.
627
00:33:09,006 --> 00:33:10,791
She got my tone!
628
00:33:11,008 --> 00:33:12,442
Don't worry about it.
629
00:33:17,368 --> 00:33:19,352
It's here someone I really have to meet.
630
00:33:19,508 --> 00:33:21,320
Nice to meet you.
631
00:33:24,536 --> 00:33:27,890
Well, it was nice to meet you, Don.
632
00:33:28,208 --> 00:33:31,091
It's Tom. And I'm not deaf.
633
00:33:31,308 --> 00:33:32,600
Right.
634
00:33:32,695 --> 00:33:34,413
And...
Jodi.
635
00:33:34,415 --> 00:33:36,261
Jodi!
And I'm deaf.
636
00:33:36,306 --> 00:33:37,800
Yes, of course.
637
00:33:37,837 --> 00:33:40,232
I mean, well, you...
I'm gonna see my friends.
638
00:33:40,305 --> 00:33:41,683
Bye, bye.
Okay.
639
00:33:47,507 --> 00:33:49,171
Hello Christine.
640
00:33:51,567 --> 00:33:53,120
Dean Porter.
641
00:33:54,208 --> 00:33:55,502
Hello.
642
00:33:58,005 --> 00:33:59,990
My my, you clean up nice.
643
00:34:02,005 --> 00:34:03,131
Thanks.
644
00:34:04,808 --> 00:34:06,563
I can't say the same for you.
645
00:34:07,988 --> 00:34:10,341
Tom, so nice to see you.
646
00:34:10,348 --> 00:34:11,282
Thank you.
647
00:34:11,936 --> 00:34:13,860
Did you just insult me?
648
00:34:14,507 --> 00:34:15,430
No.
649
00:34:16,505 --> 00:34:18,751
You're just always so very clean.
650
00:34:18,785 --> 00:34:20,792
I can't even imagine you being dirty at all.
651
00:34:21,506 --> 00:34:22,931
I've been plenty dirty.
652
00:34:26,207 --> 00:34:28,160
I have a hard time picturing that.
653
00:34:28,818 --> 00:34:30,520
Sorry, I just...
654
00:34:31,206 --> 00:34:35,163
I don't know, maybe... a fetching little smudge right about...
655
00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:37,010
Dirtier.
656
00:34:54,508 --> 00:34:56,413
You know, I don't envy you.
657
00:34:56,506 --> 00:34:59,013
Trying to raise money from creeps like those guys.
658
00:34:59,047 --> 00:35:00,551
It's not so bad.
659
00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:01,860
Really?
660
00:35:04,508 --> 00:35:06,251
Actually it's a fucking nightmare.
661
00:35:07,537 --> 00:35:09,591
Oh God!
Exactly!
662
00:35:13,506 --> 00:35:14,471
Did you get that?
663
00:35:14,557 --> 00:35:16,212
They're dicks.
Yeah, I did. I got that.
664
00:35:19,707 --> 00:35:21,160
Let's get stoned.
665
00:35:21,165 --> 00:35:23,010
So we can laugh at them.
666
00:35:23,047 --> 00:35:25,161
I can't do that.
Oh, come on!
667
00:35:25,176 --> 00:35:27,542
I can't.
But thank you for the invitation.
668
00:35:27,556 --> 00:35:30,142
Break some rules, Bette.
669
00:35:30,206 --> 00:35:33,003
Deliberate you.
I can't.
670
00:35:33,075 --> 00:35:34,222
Come on.
671
00:35:35,467 --> 00:35:36,772
Come on, Dean.
672
00:35:37,265 --> 00:35:38,452
Bring it!
673
00:35:40,308 --> 00:35:42,520
All I'm saying is that
674
00:35:42,527 --> 00:35:46,392
you've done it yourself in your like fucking radio show.
675
00:35:46,427 --> 00:35:47,782
That is so different!
676
00:35:47,826 --> 00:35:49,541
Why are you yelling? Don't yell!
677
00:35:49,608 --> 00:35:50,882
I'm tired of that.
It's different.
678
00:35:50,885 --> 00:35:52,111
I just wanna make another point.
679
00:35:52,158 --> 00:35:53,811
I just wanna make the point that you
680
00:35:53,817 --> 00:35:56,730
are somehow saying that I don't have one creative bone in my body
681
00:35:56,736 --> 00:35:58,272
and that's bullshit.
Okay, whatever.
682
00:35:58,307 --> 00:35:59,323
Whatever!
Whatever what?!
683
00:35:59,327 --> 00:36:00,463
Whatever, Jenny.
Don't whatever me.
684
00:36:00,506 --> 00:36:01,761
No, you were the one that brought that up.
685
00:36:01,806 --> 00:36:03,613
Do you know who makes this hat, by the way?
686
00:36:03,707 --> 00:36:04,803
No.
Do you know?
687
00:36:04,807 --> 00:36:05,903
No.
You don't know?
688
00:36:05,946 --> 00:36:07,752
I will guess...
You don't know who makes this hat.
689
00:36:07,795 --> 00:36:10,080
I would guess the lead singer of the Village People.
690
00:36:10,448 --> 00:36:11,510
Ladies!
691
00:36:13,738 --> 00:36:16,131
This is my girl, Tasha.
692
00:36:16,136 --> 00:36:18,943
Tasha, meet Alice, Jenny, and
693
00:36:19,005 --> 00:36:20,090
Vanilla.
694
00:36:20,607 --> 00:36:21,673
I'm Shane.
695
00:36:21,706 --> 00:36:24,341
Vanilla, 'cause she's like me, except in another flavor.
696
00:36:25,105 --> 00:36:26,073
Right.
697
00:36:26,108 --> 00:36:28,592
Do you guys wanna have a drink with us?
Yeah, what can I get you?
698
00:36:28,607 --> 00:36:29,920
I don't care.
699
00:36:30,008 --> 00:36:32,502
Hey, Tasha, what do you want?
I can buy my own drink.
700
00:36:32,606 --> 00:36:35,860
Fuck that, man! This is your welcome back into the world.
701
00:36:36,006 --> 00:36:38,162
It's been a while since Tasha's been in a club, so...
702
00:36:38,206 --> 00:36:39,922
Shut up, Papi.
703
00:36:40,205 --> 00:36:41,271
Shut up.
704
00:36:49,408 --> 00:36:51,682
Yo, Papi, I'm gonna smoke, alright?
705
00:36:51,718 --> 00:36:53,161
Yo, hold on a second.
'Cause then I'll come with you.
706
00:36:53,207 --> 00:36:54,222
No, I'm cool.
707
00:36:57,505 --> 00:37:00,251
Is she okay?
She seems mad or something.
708
00:37:00,306 --> 00:37:01,513
Uh, you know, she's cool.
709
00:37:08,807 --> 00:37:10,261
There's somebody coming.
710
00:37:11,048 --> 00:37:13,763
You're not even stoned.
You're getting paranoid. Relax.
711
00:37:17,505 --> 00:37:19,030
Come on, Dean.
712
00:37:19,577 --> 00:37:22,572
Alright. None of that Clintonian shit now.
Inhale.
713
00:37:31,806 --> 00:37:33,733
Jeez!
She knows what she's doing.
714
00:38:10,605 --> 00:38:11,661
Hey.
715
00:38:12,208 --> 00:38:13,930
How are you?
I'm good.
716
00:38:14,008 --> 00:38:16,691
How are you?
I saw you watching me.
717
00:38:16,705 --> 00:38:18,431
Yes, I was.
718
00:38:19,147 --> 00:38:21,030
My name's Ruby.
719
00:38:21,065 --> 00:38:22,423
Ruby?
Yes.
720
00:38:22,507 --> 00:38:24,121
Shane.
Nice to meet you, Shane.
721
00:38:24,166 --> 00:38:27,241
Nice to meet you, Ruby.
You're very delicious.
722
00:38:29,435 --> 00:38:31,740
Do you have a girlfriend?
No.
723
00:38:31,788 --> 00:38:32,992
No?
No.
724
00:38:33,028 --> 00:38:34,031
Neither do I.
725
00:38:34,106 --> 00:38:36,383
Hey, Shane.
Papi!
726
00:38:36,407 --> 00:38:37,300
Oh, hi!
Hi!
727
00:38:37,405 --> 00:38:39,083
How are you?
Good. What's your name?
728
00:38:39,125 --> 00:38:41,992
My name is Ruby.
Ruby, I'm Papi. It's nice to meet you.
729
00:38:42,027 --> 00:38:43,803
It's nice to meet you, Papi.
Ruby, that's a beautiful name.
730
00:38:43,846 --> 00:38:46,450
My cousin Sand has a little girl named Ruby.
731
00:38:46,457 --> 00:38:48,870
I'm he godmother, yeah.
I love that girl more than anything.
732
00:38:48,915 --> 00:38:50,902
That's really great.
733
00:38:51,406 --> 00:38:54,201
My brother's... actually, just had a baby.
734
00:38:54,208 --> 00:38:55,870
Really?
She's so incredible. Yeah.
735
00:38:55,887 --> 00:38:58,423
Actually, I cried the first time I held her.
736
00:38:58,466 --> 00:39:00,372
No! Oh you must have been so beautiful.
It was amazing.
737
00:39:01,905 --> 00:39:04,080
You must have been like Madonna with a child.
738
00:39:04,607 --> 00:39:06,281
Madonna with a child...
Yeah, yeah.
739
00:39:07,705 --> 00:39:09,121
Merry Christmas, Papi.
740
00:39:09,205 --> 00:39:11,060
Thank you, Shane.
And that hat,
741
00:39:11,097 --> 00:39:12,473
that's a cute hat.
Yeah, right?
742
00:39:12,508 --> 00:39:14,593
That was nice to meet you.
That was nice to meeting you.
743
00:39:14,595 --> 00:39:15,971
Bye, bye.
Bye.
744
00:39:16,508 --> 00:39:18,361
Oh, I'm sorry, did I...
745
00:39:18,406 --> 00:39:20,830
I didn't mean to like...
You didn't mean to...
746
00:39:20,875 --> 00:39:22,252
Did you have, uh...
No,
747
00:39:22,298 --> 00:39:23,671
did I have...?
Are you sure?
748
00:39:23,676 --> 00:39:24,823
I'm sure.
I didn't mean to...
749
00:39:24,846 --> 00:39:27,073
Do you wanna dance? Alright, go ahead.
Yes, okay.
750
00:39:51,508 --> 00:39:53,420
Shit!
What's up, honey?
751
00:39:54,006 --> 00:39:57,353
It's Jenny Schecter the fucking lunatic whose book I reviewed.
752
00:39:57,388 --> 00:39:58,180
Who?
753
00:39:58,208 --> 00:39:59,772
Stacey Merkin is here.
754
00:39:59,805 --> 00:40:01,451
Who's that?
The vagina wig?!
755
00:40:01,488 --> 00:40:02,851
Yeah, she's here, okay.
Just look casual,
756
00:40:02,868 --> 00:40:04,563
just look like nothing's happening, 'cause she's...
757
00:40:04,637 --> 00:40:05,620
Oh my God! That's,
758
00:40:05,658 --> 00:40:07,161
I think that's Debbie.
759
00:40:07,207 --> 00:40:08,533
Who's Debbie?
760
00:40:08,606 --> 00:40:10,222
Debbie, she's just uh...
Well,
761
00:40:10,225 --> 00:40:13,143
her dog is my patient.
I had to put her dog down. Oh my god!
762
00:40:13,207 --> 00:40:15,412
What is she doing here?
She was in Santa Barbara.
763
00:40:15,507 --> 00:40:17,770
She's with the red mom-teeshirt.
764
00:40:17,806 --> 00:40:18,921
What she's doing now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
765
00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:20,950
She's coming here.
Baby, I just can't say hi.
766
00:40:20,998 --> 00:40:23,202
I just want to introduce you.
767
00:40:23,245 --> 00:40:25,620
Oh my God, you've gotta distract them
'cause I don't want them coming over to me.
768
00:40:25,707 --> 00:40:26,843
Can you kiss me?
No!
769
00:40:26,927 --> 00:40:28,823
Please, kiss me.
I don't kiss girls who wear doilies.
770
00:40:28,856 --> 00:40:32,501
I beg you. I will buy you Starbucks for a week.
Please. I beg you. Yes, yes, yes.
771
00:40:32,508 --> 00:40:33,781
Please.
Okay.
772
00:40:33,857 --> 00:40:35,602
Okay, go. Ready? 1, 2, 3.
773
00:40:40,415 --> 00:40:42,852
Come on.
I don't want Shecter to see me.
774
00:40:46,007 --> 00:40:47,182
Alright?
Yeah.
775
00:40:50,505 --> 00:40:52,212
That'd be fantastic.
I'd love to be there. But,
776
00:40:52,305 --> 00:40:55,982
mommy, she's taking Wilson and Jiang Ying to the villa in Toscane.
777
00:40:56,005 --> 00:40:57,531
Nice.
They're having a fantastic time.
778
00:41:00,007 --> 00:41:01,793
Phyllis, excellent party.
779
00:41:01,808 --> 00:41:04,311
Did you know that Helena's mother and I are old friends?
780
00:41:04,505 --> 00:41:06,430
Isn't she doing a great job?
781
00:41:09,277 --> 00:41:11,163
What did she mean.
What are you doing?
782
00:41:11,837 --> 00:41:13,012
It's nothing, it's just
783
00:41:13,017 --> 00:41:15,641
something I do on the side sometimes.
It's catering.
784
00:41:15,708 --> 00:41:17,353
I mean, anyway, I'd be there.
785
00:41:17,356 --> 00:41:19,330
I'm too busy at the moment.
Every...
786
00:41:19,408 --> 00:41:21,762
I think you might wanna come into the kitchen.
787
00:41:22,325 --> 00:41:25,101
Just give me a minute, would you?
788
00:41:26,367 --> 00:41:27,873
Anyway...
789
00:41:27,905 --> 00:41:30,313
I really think you should come to the kitchen.
790
00:41:33,005 --> 00:41:33,992
Fuck!
791
00:41:39,097 --> 00:41:40,170
Fuck!
792
00:41:40,176 --> 00:41:42,051
What's the fuck!
793
00:41:42,105 --> 00:41:44,773
Why didn't you tell me earlier!
What the fuck!
794
00:41:46,208 --> 00:41:47,983
What am I gonna do! It's all ruined!
795
00:41:47,985 --> 00:41:50,042
Why didn't you come and tell me earlier about this!
796
00:41:50,106 --> 00:41:52,681
There's glass on everything!
People can't it this!
797
00:41:52,708 --> 00:41:54,463
Jeez!
798
00:42:07,807 --> 00:42:09,950
Hey.
Hey.
799
00:42:09,955 --> 00:42:11,960
Can I sit here? Alright.
800
00:42:19,907 --> 00:42:22,090
So, how long have you known Papi?
801
00:42:23,005 --> 00:42:24,290
Five years.
802
00:42:24,876 --> 00:42:26,450
Five years?
803
00:42:26,456 --> 00:42:28,410
Wow. How'd you meet her?
804
00:42:28,506 --> 00:42:30,052
Hangin' out.
805
00:42:33,405 --> 00:42:34,980
You like hangin' out?
806
00:42:37,855 --> 00:42:38,853
It's alright.
807
00:42:40,006 --> 00:42:41,971
What do you do when you're hanging out?
808
00:42:43,837 --> 00:42:46,313
I don't know, play basketball, I guess.
809
00:42:47,707 --> 00:42:49,690
Well, see, there is the catch.
810
00:42:49,906 --> 00:42:51,522
Tasha, I think you're lying.
811
00:42:52,326 --> 00:42:55,880
'Cause I've been playing a game with Papi and you weren't there. So...
812
00:42:59,008 --> 00:43:00,492
I was out of town.
813
00:43:17,808 --> 00:43:20,292
And I guess I like workin' on my ride.
814
00:43:21,048 --> 00:43:22,881
I got a Triumph Scrambler.
815
00:43:23,907 --> 00:43:26,481
Get the fuck out of town!
You've got a motor cycle?
816
00:43:26,506 --> 00:43:28,401
Fuck! That's cool!
817
00:43:28,507 --> 00:43:30,440
That's so cool, 'cause I have this
818
00:43:30,447 --> 00:43:33,142
kind of new obsession with motor cycles, I don't know why.
819
00:43:33,208 --> 00:43:34,970
But I want one.
820
00:43:37,007 --> 00:43:38,361
How fast do you go?
821
00:43:38,408 --> 00:43:41,083
On the open road I've taken her up to about
822
00:43:41,085 --> 00:43:42,720
120.
823
00:43:42,806 --> 00:43:45,293
120? Miles an hour?
824
00:43:47,008 --> 00:43:48,851
That's fast.
825
00:43:50,306 --> 00:43:51,362
Very.
826
00:43:56,507 --> 00:43:58,640
I'll take you for a ride sometime.
827
00:44:00,145 --> 00:44:02,673
Really? I would love that.
828
00:44:03,286 --> 00:44:04,430
That'd be cool.
829
00:44:06,006 --> 00:44:07,791
Oh, shit.
830
00:44:10,598 --> 00:44:11,703
Hello.
831
00:44:12,556 --> 00:44:14,632
Hey Helena.
Yeah, no, I'm out.
832
00:44:16,008 --> 00:44:19,233
Yeah, you're right. I don't know who Douglas Chebea is now.
833
00:44:22,255 --> 00:44:25,680
Will you slow down 'cause it's like I'm not understanding you.
834
00:44:26,705 --> 00:44:28,190
What I need you to do
835
00:44:28,195 --> 00:44:30,690
is please, go to Petrotian,
836
00:44:30,695 --> 00:44:34,223
get me 5 pounds of Sévruga caviar.
837
00:44:34,307 --> 00:44:37,183
I have to get some blinis, I could cut up some eggs and...
838
00:44:38,507 --> 00:44:41,892
Alice, I don't care how much it is, okay?
839
00:44:41,905 --> 00:44:44,893
It's the only way for me to salvage this fucking party.
840
00:44:46,007 --> 00:44:49,190
This party is so much better than I thought that would be.
841
00:44:56,498 --> 00:44:59,713
You are much naughtier than I thought you would be.
842
00:45:09,838 --> 00:45:12,640
She asks me if I think you've ever been really dyke.
843
00:45:16,006 --> 00:45:18,413
Actually, I prefer not to think about it.
844
00:45:18,835 --> 00:45:23,923
I'd rather preserve my vision of
Dean Porter as the impenetrable ice queen.
845
00:45:31,806 --> 00:45:33,332
That is so fucked up.
846
00:45:37,007 --> 00:45:38,453
But you know what? It's,
847
00:45:38,457 --> 00:45:41,183
I have to say, it's actually really useful,
848
00:45:42,596 --> 00:45:44,642
to have people think you're impenetrable
849
00:45:44,645 --> 00:45:47,053
'cause then it makes them want you
850
00:45:47,056 --> 00:45:49,703
and you get all these really
851
00:45:49,735 --> 00:45:52,150
great invitations.
852
00:45:57,705 --> 00:45:59,573
Tell everything.
853
00:46:02,487 --> 00:46:03,580
Come on, Dean.
854
00:46:05,565 --> 00:46:08,193
Caviar blinis, well it's touched, Helena.
855
00:46:08,226 --> 00:46:09,972
I had no idea we had it in the budget.
856
00:46:10,005 --> 00:46:12,483
Well, screw the budget.
I want you to come up to Stanford
857
00:46:12,528 --> 00:46:15,352
and cater some parties for the department of engineering.
858
00:46:15,408 --> 00:46:17,612
No way, I'm not sharing her.
859
00:46:17,705 --> 00:46:19,892
I'm glad you're happy, Phillys.
860
00:46:19,907 --> 00:46:22,090
Well, she's usually very generous,
861
00:46:22,096 --> 00:46:23,850
but she must adore you.
862
00:46:24,808 --> 00:46:26,240
Helena, I'm, I'm...
863
00:46:27,815 --> 00:46:28,950
Alice...
864
00:46:30,506 --> 00:46:34,012
I'm sorry. I was just dropping some stuff off for Helena.
865
00:46:34,045 --> 00:46:35,761
But I'm gonna go.
Hi.
866
00:46:35,807 --> 00:46:37,020
I'm Leonard,
867
00:46:37,385 --> 00:46:40,413
Kroll, I'm Phillys' husband.
Right. Yeah, Alice.
868
00:46:40,506 --> 00:46:42,520
Alice? Alice, I love your hat.
869
00:46:42,617 --> 00:46:43,401
You do?
870
00:46:43,586 --> 00:46:44,800
It's great.
871
00:46:45,008 --> 00:46:46,830
I'm Helena's roomate.
872
00:46:46,905 --> 00:46:49,013
Oh, well, you're lucky.
873
00:46:49,017 --> 00:46:50,433
Yeah.
Great cook.
874
00:46:51,007 --> 00:46:52,640
I didn't exactly
875
00:46:52,646 --> 00:46:54,550
cook the caviar that I served.
876
00:46:54,607 --> 00:46:57,750
It's still good. You must eat well.
877
00:46:59,006 --> 00:47:00,701
So, can I get you a drink or...
878
00:47:00,735 --> 00:47:03,641
Something? Food is great.
No. No, I'm good, I'm good, yeah.
879
00:47:04,005 --> 00:47:05,622
Good, well uh...
880
00:47:06,478 --> 00:47:07,673
Welcome.
Thank you.
881
00:47:07,677 --> 00:47:09,510
It's a really, really beautiful house.
882
00:47:09,606 --> 00:47:12,480
Thank you, well, we like it.
She's snug.
883
00:47:14,005 --> 00:47:15,853
Are those your kids?
884
00:47:16,207 --> 00:47:18,412
Oh, yeah, yeah!
885
00:47:18,508 --> 00:47:21,382
Yeah, Molly is junior in Vassar now,
886
00:47:21,407 --> 00:47:23,753
and Sophia is just starting Bennington.
887
00:47:24,207 --> 00:47:25,672
It's a beautiful family.
888
00:47:25,707 --> 00:47:27,613
Yeah, we're very proud of it.
889
00:47:28,655 --> 00:47:30,341
Can you believe that?
890
00:47:32,045 --> 00:47:34,753
How, how old were you to here?
891
00:47:34,795 --> 00:47:36,830
What was I? I was 36 and you uh...
892
00:47:37,305 --> 00:47:39,612
29.
29.
893
00:47:39,616 --> 00:47:41,950
...
894
00:47:44,507 --> 00:47:46,271
Okay, well, it's,
895
00:47:46,286 --> 00:47:48,042
beautiful, beautiful.
896
00:47:48,105 --> 00:47:49,780
Thank you, thank you.
Yeah.
897
00:47:51,915 --> 00:47:54,042
It was nice meeting you.
Nice to meet you too.
898
00:47:54,105 --> 00:47:56,333
Okay, see you later.
Come by any time.
899
00:47:57,916 --> 00:47:59,002
She's cute.
900
00:47:59,807 --> 00:48:00,760
Well,
901
00:48:01,505 --> 00:48:03,590
there is this one time,
902
00:48:03,596 --> 00:48:05,992
Tina and I were on this really, really big
903
00:48:05,998 --> 00:48:07,081
yacht.
904
00:48:07,105 --> 00:48:09,181
And Tina and I were in our state room.
905
00:48:09,706 --> 00:48:14,442
And Valentino was up on the deck in these like yellow-black speedos.
906
00:48:15,245 --> 00:48:17,771
and the senator comes in,
907
00:48:17,778 --> 00:48:19,620
to the room,
908
00:48:20,545 --> 00:48:22,841
with this boner.
909
00:48:27,596 --> 00:48:31,331
I heard he had cock as a tiny little cigar.
910
00:48:32,006 --> 00:48:34,582
It's more like a cigarello actually.
911
00:48:34,616 --> 00:48:37,450
That man's hand was in his pocket for four days, like
912
00:48:37,485 --> 00:48:38,933
stun.
Okay, okay, okay.
913
00:48:38,946 --> 00:48:40,520
Spare me the details.
914
00:48:40,545 --> 00:48:41,653
It's hard.
915
00:48:41,698 --> 00:48:43,532
Did he pop it out?
916
00:48:45,047 --> 00:48:47,470
Of course he did, and then I...
917
00:48:47,506 --> 00:48:50,450
yelled and Tina dove under the covers and
918
00:48:50,457 --> 00:48:52,412
it was just... it wasn't pretty.
919
00:48:52,807 --> 00:48:55,873
I don't know why they all think they can invite themselves into our bed.
920
00:48:55,877 --> 00:48:56,923
I don't know.
921
00:49:01,505 --> 00:49:03,453
She wants to know, if you know how to have a "shotgun".
922
00:49:04,007 --> 00:49:06,100
Well then, I'll just have to find out.
923
00:49:32,607 --> 00:49:34,503
Alice!
Shit!
924
00:49:36,885 --> 00:49:38,181
Alice, wait!
925
00:49:40,008 --> 00:49:41,530
I wanna explain.
926
00:49:41,606 --> 00:49:44,222
You don't have to explain anything to me.
He's your husband.
927
00:49:44,308 --> 00:49:45,531
Well, not like that.
928
00:49:45,536 --> 00:49:48,622
We... We haven't had a physical relationship for years! I mean,
929
00:49:48,706 --> 00:49:50,280
we haven't, we...
930
00:49:50,968 --> 00:49:51,941
we don't f...
931
00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:53,572
Alice,
932
00:49:56,055 --> 00:49:57,653
we don't, we don't fuck, okay?
933
00:49:57,655 --> 00:49:58,900
It's not really that. I just
934
00:49:58,957 --> 00:50:00,493
I think I've been a little selfish,
935
00:50:00,506 --> 00:50:02,211
I haven't, even thought for a second,
936
00:50:02,226 --> 00:50:04,450
that you have a husband, a family, you have kids.
937
00:50:04,487 --> 00:50:05,971
That's not your responsibility.
938
00:50:06,005 --> 00:50:08,593
I know what I'm doing.
I'm not gonna hurt anybody.
939
00:50:08,636 --> 00:50:10,192
I'm not saying that, I'm just saying
940
00:50:10,196 --> 00:50:12,220
I don't think I feel comfortable doing this anymore.
941
00:50:12,305 --> 00:50:15,102
Alice, I've never felt this way, for about anyone.
942
00:50:15,147 --> 00:50:17,142
Okay, listen, I don't wanna do this with him inside.
943
00:50:17,206 --> 00:50:19,642
Really, it's not right.
I think I should go.
944
00:50:19,685 --> 00:50:22,203
I really do. Can you let go my hands, please? Please...
945
00:50:22,306 --> 00:50:23,670
Alice,
946
00:50:24,955 --> 00:50:26,701
Can you let go my hands, please?
947
00:50:26,765 --> 00:50:28,171
Alice, I love you.
Please,
948
00:50:28,176 --> 00:50:29,532
Oh my God.
Alice...
949
00:50:30,006 --> 00:50:31,362
Thank you.
68421
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