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1
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,845
And that's the end of a sexist,
fatphobic anecdote
2
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,930
in which I was so desperate
to get out of the rain,
3
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:17,559
I slept with a plus-sized woman.
4
00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:18,935
Hold the door.
5
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:22,105
- Oh! Did I miss a meeting?
- No, Angela.
6
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:25,358
We took Davey here out
for a big '90s-style birthday party,
7
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,735
it being the '90s and all...
8
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:30,030
I would have come!
I love the '90s, and it being them.
9
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,450
Come on, the president of the network
shouldn't fraternize with the board.
10
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,952
Let your number two handle that stuff.
11
00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:41,666
I don't like you going to birthday parties
behind my back, Teddy.
12
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,418
I was doing reconnaissance for you!
13
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:44,502
You didn't hear it from me,
14
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:47,297
but there's some concern
that as a single career gal, you're,
15
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,507
- well, a single career gal.
- And?
16
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,926
ABC's supposed to be
a family network.
17
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,179
I understand families.
18
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,555
Uh-huh.
19
00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:56,473
Does he?
20
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,018
Oh, Herb.
21
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,563
I'm sorry, okay?
22
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,065
It's called discretion, Herb.
23
00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:07,233
We're trying to sell
the network to Disney.
24
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,445
Disney? You think Michael Eisner
gives a hoot who I go to bed with?
25
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,697
We don't need to bring Eisner into this.
26
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,991
Obviously,
Michael Eisner is a compassionate
27
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,659
and progressive individual.
28
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:17,952
This isn't about him.
29
00:01:18,119 --> 00:01:20,580
- So, it's you. Just say it's you.
- No. You're the one...
30
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:23,166
If you're going to fire me,
at least have the balls to fire me.
31
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,793
- You're fired.
- Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
32
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:26,586
You think you can do
"Horsin' Around" without me?
33
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:29,130
We could do it without anybody.
All we need is the horse.
34
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:32,509
And that horse is just gonna go along
with you canning his best friend?
35
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:36,096
You want BoJack to betray me,
you're gonna need one hell of a pitch.
36
00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,139
Okay.
37
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,995
{\an8}-Mr. Horseman, you're invited to set?
- Thank you.
38
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,747
{\an8}-The set of "Horny Unicorn"?
- Yes, I'm aware.
39
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,708
To shoot a scene
in which the titular horny unicorn
40
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:48,209
gets his penis stuck in a saxophone,
41
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,336
because he was hoping to "get blown"?
42
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,046
{\an8}I know the scene, thank you.
43
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:57,594
{\an8}Ah.
44
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:01,347
Hello?
45
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,142
- BoJack, this is Angela Diaz.
- Huh?
46
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,393
We met once before.
47
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:10,273
I remember.
48
00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:15,069
{\an8}I saw your interview several months back.
It made me nostalgic.
49
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,822
Me too. Nostalgic for the day
before I did the interview.
50
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:19,741
Oh, yes, humor.
51
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:24,120
{\an8}If you're free tonight, you could come by
the house, watch the fire, reminisce.
52
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,164
{\an8}There's something
I've been meaning to ask you.
53
00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:28,917
- What?
- Wouldn't you love to find out?
54
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,793
Uh...
55
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:37,300
{\an8}So, the Stephen King musical opened
right next door to the Sondheim revival.
56
00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:39,385
{\an8}We have clients in both.
I was worried there'd be tension,
57
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,846
{\an8}but it turns out Misery loves Company.
58
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,514
{\an8}Judah, are you in a band?
59
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,557
{\an8}Why do you ask that?
60
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:47,435
{\an8}I've always wondered if you were in a band
ever since this afternoon
61
00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,979
{\an8}when I overheard Juniper tell Stuart
that you were in a band.
62
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,190
You're playing a gig tonight,
and the whole office is going.
63
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,776
{\an8}I was planning to invite you,
but didn't want you to feel obligated.
64
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,736
{\an8}-We're not good.
65
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,738
{\an8}Lenny! How the shell are you?
66
00:03:58,821 --> 00:03:59,864
I got trouble, PC!
67
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:01,866
You know Teddy Buttons,
my head of production?
68
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,576
I'm familiar with Teddy.
69
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:07,455
I somehow missed that Teddy has spent
the last 20 years showing women his...
70
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:09,165
I'm familiar.
71
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,792
See, that's why I love you.
You're discreet.
72
00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:13,962
- You're tough. You're Teflon.
- That's me, an old frying pan.
73
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,172
I could use someone who can
handle the heat over here.
74
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,676
Someone who can be more
professional and less... Moonves.
75
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,010
What are you saying?
76
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,931
I want you to run Turteltaub's
new female-focused studio division,
77
00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,683
- Girtletaub!
- I didn't sneeze.
78
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,060
No, Girtletaub is the studio.
79
00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:31,521
I wanna announce a slate
before the Teddy story hits the trades.
80
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,981
You think you can throw one together?
81
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,900
You want me to pitch
my dream movie studio?
82
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,403
I need it tomorrow morning. We gotta hit
the ground running with this thing.
83
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,697
You don't wanna
go slow and steady?
84
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,448
What am I, a tortoise?
85
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,367
Hmm.
86
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,576
Get me box office numbers.
87
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,704
We need firm financial figures to frame
88
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,123
how fans flock
to flicks that flex chicks,
89
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:53,209
woman films,
like Pretty, Wonder, Little.
90
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,961
Diary of a Mad Black.
I'll get my laptop.
91
00:04:55,044 --> 00:04:56,462
Oh, wait! Your gig.
92
00:04:56,546 --> 00:05:00,216
I have time. This is important.
When a Man Loves a...
93
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:01,759
- What?
- That's another film title,
94
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:03,177
as we were discussing previously.
95
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:04,887
Oh, of course.
96
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,309
Mm.
97
00:05:14,063 --> 00:05:15,565
- Hey, Guy, I'm about to...
- Diane.
98
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:18,901
Am I wearing a T-shirt right now that says
"Treat me like I'm some kind of asshole"?
99
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,738
I can't see you right now,
but I'm guessing by your tone, no?
100
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,615
Then why is my ex-wife treating me
like I'm some kind of asshole?
101
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,284
Did you tell her
you weren't wearing the shirt?
102
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:27,910
Lady got a job in Houston.
103
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:30,413
She's taking Sonny out of school
and moving to Texas.
104
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:31,497
She can't do that!
105
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,791
Well, she can,
because she has full custody.
106
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,836
And this is her dream job, and I'm really
happy for her. But this sucks!
107
00:05:36,919 --> 00:05:42,008
Well, they must need cameramen
in Houston, and I can write anywhere...
108
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,177
I... couldn't ask you to do that.
109
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,678
I wouldn't ask you to ask.
110
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,931
If Sonny's going to Houston,
then we're going.
111
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:53,102
Okay. Okay. All right. Houston.
Uh, g-go, Astros!
112
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,562
Go... rodeos!
113
00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:55,813
Hope you like barbecue!
114
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,650
I hope I don't need another abortion
because they are hard to get there!
115
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,861
- Wait, what?
- Just trying to think of Texas things.
116
00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:03,780
Sorry. Houston!
117
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,285
All day at the airport,
I watch people pull suitcases.
118
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,746
Why do we suffer
that extra weight dragging us down?
119
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,206
Because we need clean clothes.
120
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,124
The point is: helium luggage.
121
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,794
Why pack light
when you can pack lighter than air?
122
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,172
All right, so Mom's too sick
to come out of her room
123
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,883
but not too sick
to make her famous Frito pie?
124
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:25,134
Well, she wanted to see you.
125
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,845
She was fine all day
and then suddenly ill with a stomach bug.
126
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,055
I wanna see her.
127
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:32,141
No, no, no, no, she's not there!
She's at the Zumba.
128
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,935
Is she at Zumba or is she sick?
129
00:06:34,018 --> 00:06:37,313
She is sick but was hoping
the Afro-Latin fusion beats
130
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,232
would make her feel better.
131
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:40,900
This was a mistake.
132
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:43,820
Hmm.
133
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:49,033
Todd, I must confess to you,
your mother is not at Zumba.
134
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,701
I can see her in the window.
135
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,871
Oh! That's a mannequin
so I can test out my outfits.
136
00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:56,416
You're lying again!
137
00:06:56,499 --> 00:07:00,128
Okay. She didn't come to dinner
because she's ashamed.
138
00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,839
She can't say hello?
The woman has my kidney!
139
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,590
And that's why she's ashamed.
140
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,218
A mother shouldn't owe her child her life.
141
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:10,596
If she could turn it around somehow,
save your life...
142
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,765
- But, alas, she cannot.
- Huh.
143
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:17,103
But maybe if she could...
but no, you’re obviously healthy.
144
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,147
But if you weren't...
145
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,106
- But you are.
- Hmm.
146
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:23,443
- Clearly there is nothing to be done.
- Hmm.
147
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,243
Ugh.
148
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,501
- Hey.
- Wha...
149
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:43,045
Aren't you the horse
from "Horsin' Around"?
150
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,715
Mm.
151
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:54,140
Look at this thing.
I fell down one time and I'm an invalid.
152
00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:57,935
- Word to the wise, BoJack, don't get old.
- I'll see what I can do about that.
153
00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:01,647
My 40-year-old companion
treats me like a fragile antique.
154
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,817
I've got a Lamborghini Miura
and she won't even let me drive it.
155
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:05,985
I'm sorry to hear that.
156
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:09,113
Anyway, I wanted to say I'm sorry.
157
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,490
Uh...
158
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:11,407
Yeah?
159
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:16,537
I'm sorry that at the '94 upfronts
we made you do that stupid BoJack dance.
160
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,540
Oh. Is that why you wanted
to see me tonight?
161
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,960
No. You're tall.
I need you to reach a box.
162
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:29,592
"Melanie, good luck with your braces.
I think they look cool."
163
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,221
Huh?
164
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,640
Mr. Peanutbutter?
165
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,226
{\an8}Oh.
166
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,395
{\an8}Uh...
167
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,193
- Diane!
- You wrote a memoir?
168
00:08:47,276 --> 00:08:51,405
Oh, yeah! I had the idea a few months ago,
then one weekend it just fell out of me.
169
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,533
- What?
- From the way people talk about writing,
170
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,743
I always assumed it was very difficult,
171
00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:59,038
but it turns out it's not at all,
literally anyone can do it!
172
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:01,791
Yes, that's always been my experience.
173
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,793
I loved your new book, by the way.
174
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,962
- Thanks.
- I'm happy for you, Diane.
175
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,755
Even though it's really easy
to write a book,
176
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,299
it's still an accomplishment
to be proud of.
177
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,385
- I am.
- And how's Chicago?
178
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,388
Are you a Chicagoan yet?
You know, I went to school in Chicago.
179
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:18,266
You went to Northwestern.
That's not in Chicago.
180
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,268
Ah! You are a Chicagoan!
181
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:23,145
I'm actually about to move to Houston.
182
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:26,357
In New York? Oh, I think there
they pronounce it "Hose-town."
183
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,819
No, Texas. My boyfriend and I are going.
184
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:32,697
Oh, wow! Boyfriend.
185
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,157
- Yeah.
- That's fantastic.
186
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,244
I wanna hear all about him.
I assume he's a good guy?
187
00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,997
He's actually the best Guy.
188
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,627
His girlfriend looks nice.
He seems healthy.
189
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:47,753
What... What's his job?
190
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:49,171
I think he runs a daycare,
191
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,008
but he talks about the babies
as if they're his co-workers,
192
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,385
so it's impossible to know for sure.
193
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:56,554
- I should have been there.
- We'll try again.
194
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:57,638
Oh!
195
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,517
- Hello?
- Listen up, Helen.
196
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:04,353
I've kidnapped your son
and I demand a ransom or I will...
197
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,355
Next card?
198
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,273
"Murder him!"
199
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:10,901
Oh, no! Todd's gonna get murdered
by a fearsome stranger
200
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:14,697
whose sage, buttery voice simultaneously
comforts me and fills me with dread.
201
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,699
Sounds like a lot of range
for a kidnapper.
202
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,743
Who are you and what do you want?
203
00:10:18,826 --> 00:10:24,874
"I'm your worst nightmare and I want
one hundred of your famous Frito pies."
204
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,500
Yes. Anything!
205
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:29,754
"Under the Hyperion Street Bridge
in one hour."
206
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,256
That was perfect! Thank you, Margo!
207
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:33,758
It's the least I can do.
208
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:36,135
Getting you to buy
that addictive video game
209
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:40,640
was the act that set me down
this ruinous path so many years ago.
210
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,725
If I can make things right by you,
211
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:46,187
maybe there's hope yet
for this wretched soul.
212
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:48,606
Okay!
213
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:55,404
Open it.
214
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,033
- Whoa.
- The studio went all-out.
215
00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,577
They even found your original screen test.
216
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:02,745
That's incredible.
217
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:04,538
Too bad no one will ever see it.
218
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,333
After your interview,
we couldn't give these things away.
219
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,168
Oh, right. Sure.
220
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,920
It was a great show.
221
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,673
It would be a shame
for it to be forgotten now.
222
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:14,965
Maybe it's for the best.
223
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:18,302
I just feel so bad for Sarah Lynn.
She was so good.
224
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,805
It's tragic
she won't be remembered for it.
225
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,057
Well, nothing we can do
about it now, right?
226
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,982
I've completed a projection
for female-led films over five years.
227
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:35,695
It's encouraging but vague until I get
the specifics of your dream slate.
228
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,739
I don't know what that is!
I don't remember my dreams.
229
00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,242
Did I ever even have dreams?
230
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:44,161
If you leave now,
you can still make your show.
231
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,705
My job is to be here when you are.
232
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:48,624
No. Don't give your whole life
to this job,
233
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:52,294
because if you do, someday someone
will finally ask you what you want
234
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:55,548
and you'll realize
you don't even know anymore.
235
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,384
- Okay.
- I'm sorry to miss it.
236
00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,970
You missing it
will make eye contact easier tomorrow.
237
00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:09,854
Gronkle has been re-cutting
old episodes of The Cosby Show
238
00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,273
to take out all the Cosby scenes.
239
00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,358
- They call it "The Show."
- Huh.
240
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,361
They wanna try something similar
with "Horsin' Around."
241
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,363
So, it'll just be "Around"?
242
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:22,116
It'll just be around eight minutes
an episode,
243
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:25,828
which is perfect
for today's ADD-addled youth.
244
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:28,205
It's about three precocious orphans
245
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,207
living without any adult supervision,
246
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:33,878
who learn that wisdom and guidance
can be found everywhere.
247
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,421
It's all "around."
248
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,633
Well, sounds like
you got it all figured out.
249
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,594
- What do you need me for?
- Your backend.
250
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,012
Nobody's going to watch the show
251
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,889
if they think
you're still profiting off it.
252
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:48,017
- I need that money now more than ever.
- We want to buy you out.
253
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:51,687
A one-time payment and then
you're divorced from the show forever.
254
00:12:53,647 --> 00:12:55,566
Oof.
255
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,527
Do it for Sarah Lynn.
256
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,571
Doesn't she deserve more
257
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:03,240
than to be remembered
as the girl you killed?
258
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:07,203
Have you seen the episodes
without me in them?
259
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,829
- Mm-hmm.
- And they're good?
260
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:12,958
If you sign that document, you won't need
to worry about that ever again.
261
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:21,550
Good, let's drink.
262
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,927
I'm fine with my water, thanks.
263
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,387
You're not fooling anyone
with that water bottle.
264
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,057
Let me fix you a real drink.
265
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:29,433
One.
266
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:35,815
Wow, this is a huge crowd for us.
Is everyone from your office here?
267
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,192
Not everyone.
268
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,654
Judah, obviously
I was speaking figuratively.
269
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,264
Hi, we are
Spectrum of Enchantment.
270
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,266
Our lead singer had to go back to work...
271
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,600
- What?
- ...so we'll be playing
272
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:15,771
all of the instrumental
versions of our songs. So...
273
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,189
Whoo!
274
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:20,067
Instrumentals!
275
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,161
- Uh-oh!
- Whoo!
276
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,042
Brilliant!
277
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,671
Yeah, but no one wants
to do the BoJack now.
278
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:45,134
It's funny. I remember a time
when I was scared you'd leave the show.
279
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:47,261
Who'd have thought
one day I'd be asking you to?
280
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,015
When were you scared
that I'd leave the show?
281
00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:54,351
Oh, Herb was gay and I had to convince you
to let us fire him.
282
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,563
- Let you?
- You probably don't even remember,
283
00:14:57,646 --> 00:15:00,649
but I had this whole speech
I practiced in the mirror.
284
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,402
I was terrified
you were going to call my bluff.
285
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,196
Bluff? All this time, I thought
there was nothing I could have done...
286
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,115
I guess I bluffed good!
287
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:11,535
- I'm not taking your stupid deal.
- No! You signed!
288
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:15,039
- Stop, you idiot!
- No.
289
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:18,375
No! Why should I give you what you want?
You took everything from me.
290
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,045
My job was on the line.
You have no idea...
291
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:24,965
Every stupid decision I made,
every bad thing that has ever happened,
292
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:27,551
- it all started because of you.
- Grow up.
293
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:31,221
You play these games, "if I hadn't
done this, if I wasn't so that,"
294
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,766
but you did and you were and here we are.
295
00:15:33,849 --> 00:15:34,850
I can't... I...
296
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,354
Here we are!
Because we did what we had to do.
297
00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:41,398
So, what do you have to do now?
298
00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:47,696
Oh, God.
299
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,740
That's right.
300
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:52,284
Now, another drink?
301
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,754
Please! Don't hurt him!
302
00:16:03,837 --> 00:16:06,757
Boy dies if you don't got the pies.
303
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,634
We have them. Jorge? Go! Go!
304
00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:13,222
Whoa, whoa! Hey, hey!
We should have boxed them!
305
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,766
No!
306
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:19,103
Please don't hurt him.
I never got to make it right.
307
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:20,312
I've ruined my chance...
308
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,898
Spare me the deets.
I just want the freets.
309
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,942
- Frito pies, that is.
- Oh!
310
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:28,112
No! Stop!
311
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:29,947
- Mom! Mom!
- Helen? Are you all right?
312
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:33,325
It's okay. It's not real. I'm fine!
It's a classic Todd shenanigan!
313
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,452
But how would you know what that is?
314
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,329
I think my wife is having a heart attack.
315
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,164
That's Margo Martindale, the actress!
316
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,457
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
317
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:45,045
I was too convincing!
Oh, if only I wasn't so good at acting!
318
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:52,469
It's funny, isn't it?
The things that matter?
319
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,513
The truth is none of it matters
320
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:58,017
and the truth is it all matters
tremendously.
321
00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,061
It's a wonder any of us
ever get out of bed at all.
322
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,772
And yet, we get out of bed.
323
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,733
I'm going home.
324
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:10,529
- What are you doing?
- I'm taking your car.
325
00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,072
- What?
- You're not using it.
326
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:15,659
Someone should get some pleasure out
of something in this sad, stupid world.
327
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:16,994
Consider it a signing bonus.
328
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,162
Ugh.
329
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,371
And I'm taking these.
330
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:28,005
But the lazy Susans
turned out to be very problematic.
331
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:30,340
- Why?
- Offensive to Susans.
332
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:33,469
There was a protest
organized by Susan Sarandon.
333
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:34,678
Oh, no!
334
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,848
Not that many Susans showed up.
You know what they say about Susans.
335
00:17:37,931 --> 00:17:39,516
They're lazy?
336
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,226
Suddenly you're desperately seeking them.
337
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,104
Anyway, I don't know
how we got talking about me for so long.
338
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,106
You were gonna tell me
about your boyfriend. It's good?
339
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:48,317
It's really good. When I'm with him,
340
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,444
I feel like I'm part of an "us," you know?
341
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:54,615
Like, every other relationship, I always
felt like a "me" in a relationship.
342
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:55,574
Does that make sense?
343
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:57,868
Uh, yeah. That makes sense.
344
00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,412
Sorry. I-I didn't realize
I was doing that.
345
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,206
I've always tried to be
an "us" with people
346
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,458
even when I could see
it wasn't a good idea.
347
00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:07,711
Now that I'm single, I feel like
I'm finally learning how to be a "me."
348
00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:08,629
That's great.
349
00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:10,923
I know there were times you would
try to tell me something
350
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,800
and instead of listening,
I just tried to fix it
351
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,676
or convince you there wasn't a problem.
352
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,678
I shouldn't have done that.
353
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,472
We're all doing our best.
354
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:20,849
- I wanna know now.
- Know what?
355
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,185
Tell me what it's like to be Diane.
356
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:26,438
Okay. When you're Diane,
357
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:31,360
you can live your whole life
like it's a puzzle,
358
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:34,071
put together
from the pieces of different sets.
359
00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:36,240
Like a crossover puzzle?
360
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,616
Exactly.
361
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,702
Your whole life is full
of these pieces that don't quite fit.
362
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,079
Sounds like a hard puzzle.
363
00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:45,040
But at some point,
you start to think it's you.
364
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,377
You're the piece that doesn't quite fit.
365
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:55,217
And you spend so long with that feeling
that the feeling becomes your home.
366
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,095
And it can be jarring
when you discover one day
367
00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:01,140
that you suddenly
don't feel that way anymore.
368
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,308
At first, you don't trust it.
369
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:06,854
But then, gradually, you do.
370
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,565
I'm sorry. That was a weird thing
to be telling my ex-husband.
371
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:10,732
No.
372
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,652
- I'm really happy for you, Diane.
- It's funny.
373
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,656
I feel like if we met each other
as the people we are now,
374
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,616
things would be totally different with us.
375
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:22,703
Yeah, but if we hadn't met
each other until now,
376
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:25,164
we wouldn't be the people we are now.
377
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:27,166
Yeah.
378
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,252
Two equally accomplished book writers.
379
00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,588
Uh-huh.
380
00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,176
You suffered an anxiety attack.
381
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:41,305
I'd encourage you to avoid
stressful situations like, uh,
382
00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:44,016
fake kidnappings under abandoned bridges.
383
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,475
Okay, paperwork time.
384
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:49,062
You seem like a fellow who enjoys
unnecessary bureaucracy.
385
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,606
I do, Doctor.
386
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:55,235
Mm, was that the bridge
where they shot Grease?
387
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:57,362
- Yeah!
- That's neat.
388
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,324
Todd, I'm so sorry!
389
00:20:00,407 --> 00:20:02,576
Oh, no, I know you didn't mean to...
390
00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:05,412
I thought kicking you out
was the right thing.
391
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,123
You were 18.
You had dropped out of high school.
392
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,500
You were always high.
You only wore flip-flops.
393
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,961
- You never showered.
- You don't have to list everything.
394
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,423
I wanted you to grow up,
not leave forever.
395
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:19,968
Then more and more time passed
and I didn't know how to make it right.
396
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,722
Truth is, I did grow up. Your plan worked.
397
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:28,435
I haven't had a mom for so long, I...
I don't really need one anymore.
398
00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:31,146
Oh. So, what do we do now?
399
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,066
Well, I do have one idea.
400
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:37,486
- What?
- A big robot suit like in Aliens,
401
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:40,614
but for babies
so they can do grown-up things!
402
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:45,244
- That sounds dangerous.
- Yeah, I guess it is.
403
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:48,080
But maybe the robots could be powered
404
00:20:48,163 --> 00:20:51,208
by energy generated
from sucking on pacifiers.
405
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:57,005
That is so smart! Babies love sucking
and right now it's just wasted energy!
406
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,759
And so you see,
the circle had become complete.
407
00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:05,055
All the twists and turns had all been
part of a beautiful tapestry,
408
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:10,060
a grander mission to bring this boy
and his mother together again.
409
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,730
That's quite a story.
But you've killed a lot of people.
410
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:17,359
- Margo Martindale, you're going to pris...
- Wait!
411
00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:21,655
You can't send her to jail before
she gets to act in one of my movies!
412
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:23,949
Indie filmmaker Nicole Holofcener?
413
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:27,953
I find it hard to believe Margo Martindale
has never appeared in your work.
414
00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:31,540
It's true! And I need her to play
the mother of the poetry student
415
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:35,627
Catherine Keener has an affair with
in my new film, "Classroom Warfare."
416
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:38,255
Ooh! Can I, Mr. Judge? Please?
417
00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:41,258
Damn, that does sound good.
418
00:21:41,591 --> 00:21:43,468
Okay, you're free to go.
419
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:46,013
Yee-haw!
420
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:54,521
Come on. Open. Open! Open up!
421
00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:56,231
God. Where's my stupid...
422
00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:03,530
Why is everything so difficult?
423
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:06,241
Have it your way, door.
424
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:10,287
Todd! How come we never go swimming?
425
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:13,081
This is terrible.
426
00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:16,626
Well, hello.
427
00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,297
Who put pills in my house?
428
00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:30,974
Judah, you were supposed to have
the night off! Your hair is so long!
429
00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:33,560
I'd rather be here.
430
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:34,770
I know.
431
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:38,774
Would you think I was an idiot
if I didn't go work for Turteltaub?
432
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,859
I would never think you were an idiot.
433
00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:43,737
This slate we're putting together...
434
00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:47,449
We could get some financiers
and do it ourselves, right?
435
00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:49,534
If there's one thing I know
about this business,
436
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:52,704
it's never underestimate
what Princess Carolyn can do by herself.
437
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:55,123
Well, not all by myself.
438
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,625
Well...
439
00:22:56,708 --> 00:23:00,879
I've got the babysitter 'til 11:00.
We might as well keep working, right?
440
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:04,174
- How can I help?
- Why don't you play me one of your songs?
441
00:23:55,684 --> 00:23:57,978
I love you, Princess Carolyn.
442
00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:01,064
Mm.
443
00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:13,702
What are you so happy about?
444
00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:18,707
- BoJack Horseman. Six-foot-five.
- All right. Whenever you're ready.
445
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:19,958
A mustard sandwich?
446
00:24:20,041 --> 00:24:22,419
We may be orphans
but leave us our dignity.
447
00:24:22,502 --> 00:24:24,045
Uh, BJ, that's Ethan's line.
448
00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:25,338
Oh, right. Uh...
449
00:24:25,422 --> 00:24:26,339
Orphans, huh?
450
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:28,133
What am I supposed to feed you?
451
00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:29,968
- All right, stop. You're nervous.
- Oh.
452
00:24:30,051 --> 00:24:31,261
- Forget the script.
- Okay.
453
00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:34,514
We're gonna do that movie that you're
always making me watch. You know...
454
00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:37,642
You have to answer
for the chimpanzee, Tino.
455
00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:39,311
No, Mickey, you got it all wrong!
456
00:24:39,394 --> 00:24:41,688
So, where'd all the bananas go?
457
00:24:41,771 --> 00:24:44,649
The chimp's dead, Tino. So's the bonobo.
458
00:24:44,733 --> 00:24:46,568
Who you been monkeyin' around with?
459
00:24:46,651 --> 00:24:48,695
I can't do it anymore!
It was the marmoset!
460
00:24:48,778 --> 00:24:51,823
Good. Perfect.
Now look at the red dot. Go!
461
00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:54,784
What am I supposed to feed you?
I have mustard.
462
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:56,286
A mustard sandwich?
463
00:24:56,369 --> 00:24:58,997
We may be orphans
but leave us our dignity.
464
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,832
Well, I can't fix you a martini.
465
00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:03,043
Hey, wait! I have olives!
466
00:25:03,126 --> 00:25:04,920
Nope. Not olives.
467
00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,589
- Perfect!
- Yeah? You, you think we got it?
468
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:10,800
Buckle up, buddy,
your life is about to start.
37512
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