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1
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,925
Okay, guys,
that is my cat eye tutorial.
2
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,803
{\an8}It probably works betterif you're not a dog,
3
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:14,139
{\an8}but anyways, like and subscribe.
4
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:17,517
{\an8}Oh, and RIP Nelson Mandelaand Paul Walker.
5
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,644
{\an8}-- Love you, sassy boys!
6
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:23,481
{\an8}I just don't feel likedoing a makeup tutorial today.
7
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,234
{\an8}-- Dad! I'm shooting a video!
8
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:27,193
{\an8}Demi!
9
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,030
{\an8}I really thought me and Buzzywere built to last,
10
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:33,408
{\an8}like Brad and Angelina,or Gwyneth and Coldplay Man,
11
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:36,828
{\an8}or America and its current love affairwith Rebel Wilson.
12
00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:40,290
{\an8}I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talkingabout my personal life.
13
00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:42,834
{\an8}I just feel so alone.
14
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:45,378
{\an8}-- Aw! Thank you.
15
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:48,798
Hey, Pickle Pack!
Gettin' ready for another job interview.
16
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:52,635
I think I'm just gonna lie
about having experience. Right?
17
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:56,806
I got the job! I'm a systems analyst?
18
00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,393
I got fired my first day
as a systems analyst,
19
00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:04,230
but then I got a job
as an air traffic controller!
20
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:07,776
I got fired my first day
as an air traffic controller.
21
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,528
But then I got a job as a waitress!
22
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,198
So, I've been seeing someone.
23
00:01:13,281 --> 00:01:17,535
He's a yellow lab,
and he's so handsome and friendly.
24
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,872
Mister asked me to move in with him!
25
00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:24,834
{\an8}-Hi, Mister!- Oh, are you taking a video?
26
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:28,213
{\an8}Thank you, queefburglar69,for that lovely cartoon heart!
27
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:32,342
{\an8}Get a load of this cool house,Pickle Pack! Lights, off. Lights, on!
28
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,803
{\an8}-- Thank you, Robot House!
29
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,763
Check this out. The Thunder Room.
30
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,891
A place to wait out thunderstorms
and Fourth of July celebrations!
31
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:41,267
Thunder door, close!
32
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:44,270
Closing.
Thunder Room secure.
33
00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,438
Cute!
34
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:51,069
He got down on one knee and everything!
He was so nervous before he asked!
35
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:53,404
Of course I said yes!
36
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:58,701
- I think Mister is still in shock!
- Engaged! That's what we are now!
37
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,745
Ring filter!
38
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,413
So, I guess I liked the play.
39
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,041
{\an8}I was just surprised at how differentit was from the movie.
40
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,793
{\an8}I kept waiting for the baseball part.
41
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:11,256
{\an8}And so many dysfunctional relationships!All the cheating and lying!
42
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:14,676
{\an8}I'm sure glad we're not like that,right, Mister?
43
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:17,971
{\an8}Um, Pickles, would you mindturning off the livestream?
44
00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,807
{\an8}There's something I needto discuss with you. Privately.
45
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:24,310
Ooh, I hope it's something good!
46
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:32,152
The wedding is off!
47
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,505
Hi, I'm here to see BoJack.
48
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:35,924
You're...
49
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:36,841
...too late.
50
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,635
{\an8}-What?
- He's...
51
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:39,552
{\an8}...gone...
52
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,554
{\an8}-No!
- ...to a party for the night.
53
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,473
{\an8}Here's the address.
Sorry for all the wincing.
54
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,642
{\an8}I put too many jalapeños
on my...
55
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:46,559
{\an8}...sandwich.
56
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,269
{\an8}A party? With alcohol?
57
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,772
{\an8}No, a lame party, without alcohol.
58
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:52,023
Uh...
59
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:55,151
{\an8}Don't worry. We sent him
with a trained sober companion.
60
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,903
He'll keep him out of trouble.
61
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:01,824
This is Eduardo.
He's here to keep me out of trouble.
62
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,911
Say, aren't you
one of those fainting goats?
63
00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:06,788
Only if I panic.
64
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:08,206
So, what makes you panic?
65
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:11,501
Nothing. The whole point is
he doesn't panic. Sober companion.
66
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,044
{\an8}You know what makes me panic?
67
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,172
{\an8}Most of the time
I'm an ocean-levels-rising guy,
68
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,632
but sometimes I like to dwell
69
00:04:17,715 --> 00:04:20,635
on the fact that
there will always be invisible walls
70
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,846
between myself and those who claim
to know me.
71
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:28,476
That sure is nerve-racking,
but the only thing that makes me panic
72
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,812
is the thought
that I might someday drink again.
73
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,565
A toast to that never happening!
74
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,776
{\an8}Very helpful. Thank you, Eduardo.
75
00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:41,531
Oh, I'm just Greg, a guy Mr. Peanutbutter
met at a gas station once.
76
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:44,075
I honestly don't even know
why I got invited to this party.
77
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:47,578
You know, I got a few TV ideas myself.
78
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:52,417
Franco, nobody wants to hear
your time-travelling orthodontist pitch!
79
00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:56,296
Demi, you are lighting a long fuse
on a short stick of dynamite.
80
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,257
Oh, whoop. And a big one at that.
81
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,680
Diane! Didn't think I'd see you here!
82
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:08,474
{\an8}Could you go tell BoJack to come out
so I can talk to him?
83
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:11,894
{\an8}What? I don't have time
for your classic Diane wackiness.
84
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,980
{\an8}We gotta get these to the balloon room!
85
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,986
- Hey.
- Hey, look who's back in town!
86
00:05:20,069 --> 00:05:22,030
Wow! Baby! Cute!
87
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,948
She's crawling all over the place.
88
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:27,076
I wasn't gonna bring her out,
but another nanny quit on me.
89
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,536
{\an8}Carlotta quit, huh?
90
00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:30,538
{\an8}I assume she resigned in disgrace
91
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,791
{\an8}for not making good airplane noises
when she feeds Ruthie?
92
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:37,253
No, she said she felt
she was being watched all day.
93
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:41,299
Impossible! I'm there around the clock,
observing her every move.
94
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:44,802
- If she was being watched, I'd know!
- Uh-huh.
95
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:49,140
{\an8}Uh, where do these balloons go?
96
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,894
Hello, Pickles' best friend Ilana.
97
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:56,356
Pickles' other friend Ilana.
Didn't think I'd see you here.
98
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,733
{\an8}And then of course, there's always
the looming fear
99
00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,235
my spleen could up and re-twist itself.
100
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:03,446
{\an8}How are we back in a conversation?
101
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,448
{\an8}It's like I'm trying to canoe out to sea,
102
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:08,368
but the current keeps washing me back
to the same shallow backwater.
103
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,953
- Hey, there you are.
- Thank God, I'm so glad you're here.
104
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,663
- Never leave my side.
- I have to tell you...
105
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:16,876
- Okay, everybody get to your places!
- What's happening?
106
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:20,088
Mr. Peanutbutter's and Pickles'
surprise wedding!
107
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,506
Surprise wedding?
108
00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:24,092
The wedding planning
was stressing Mr. Peanutbutter out,
109
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:27,553
and Pickles loves big romantic surprises.
110
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,098
And I'm not doing much
except for sitting at home
111
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,433
watching Princess Carolyn's
terrible nannies,
112
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:35,853
so naturally, I thought,
"Ooh! Surprise wedding!"
113
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:38,231
- Where are they now?
- I got them two tickets
114
00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,982
to Angels in the Outfield.
115
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,486
- The movie?
- The play. It's like six hours long.
116
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,530
Do you mean Angels in America?
117
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:49,117
Whatever it is,
after that feel-good comedy,
118
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,411
they'll be in a great mood for a wedding!
119
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,830
Wow. Okay...
120
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,791
Look, I cannot be here.
Just... I'm moving.
121
00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,876
Great, your apartment's a dump.
Where are you moving to?
122
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,003
Uh, not Echo Park. I'll never see you.
123
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,881
- Chicago.
- Chicago? Chicago Chicago?
124
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,675
Ooh, they just pulled into the driveway!
125
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:08,719
- Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
- Why Chicago?
126
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,681
Everybody hide and stay quiet.
127
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:18,688
Remember, as soon as the lights go on,
just jump up and yell, "Surprise!"
128
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,648
Lights, off!
129
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:26,737
Um, Pickles? Would you mind
turning off the livestream?
130
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,615
There's something I need
to discuss with you. Privately.
131
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,577
Ooh, I hope it's something good!
132
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,954
It's not.
133
00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:36,080
- Lights...
- Wait!
134
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,832
Before Robot House assaults us
135
00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:40,960
with the harsh, unforgiving glare
of our energy-efficient bulbs,
136
00:07:41,043 --> 00:07:42,336
I need to tell you this.
137
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,963
But it's so dark in here.
138
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,923
What I'm about to confess is so shameful,
139
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,342
I can only admit it
in the cover of shadow.
140
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,386
Don't be silly. Lights, on!
141
00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:52,096
- I cheated on you!
- Surp...!
142
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,098
Did someone just say something?
143
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:55,766
Don't change the subject!
144
00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:58,895
- You cheated on me?
- I am so sorry.
145
00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:02,607
- How could you do this?
- It was the worst mistake of my life!
146
00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:05,026
And I once played Twister
with Bryan Singer
147
00:08:05,109 --> 00:08:07,737
at Kevin Spacey's party
for Andy Dick's early parole.
148
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,198
- Ugh!
- I've been in the Thunder Room every night
149
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,283
for months trying to swallow my shame.
150
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:15,661
But I can't. And I've apparently been
so racked with guilt I left the door open.
151
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,206
- Thunder door, close.
- Closing.
152
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,248
Thunder Room secure.
153
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,334
Help! Please!
154
00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:24,712
Just because you feel guilty,
that doesn't make it okay.
155
00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,340
Are you the time I went to see
Lady Gaga in concert
156
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,966
and she didn't sing "Paparazzi"?
157
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:32,345
Because I am hurt,
and I am confused, and I am angry,
158
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,640
and nobody told me there was going to be
an encore, so I just went home and...
159
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,391
Why am I even talking to you?
160
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:40,144
I need my best friend. I'm calling Ilana!
161
00:08:42,146 --> 00:08:45,650
But, honestly,
can Ilana even relate to me anymore?
162
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,277
Since she got that
new Sunday-to-Thursday job
163
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,572
she's turned into a real
see-you-next-Friday.
164
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,032
I never thought I'd say this,
165
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,911
but sometimes I feel like I prefer
my other friend Ilana.
166
00:08:57,036 --> 00:09:00,540
Sometimes it's just easier to talk
to a person who has nothing else going on.
167
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,667
- What?
- Please don't tell the Ilanas about this.
168
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:06,087
I'm gonna tell everybody about this.
I'm a Gemini.
169
00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:10,174
No! Think of my family!
They need me to be strong right now.
170
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,676
Poor Captain Peanutbutter.
171
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,135
He recently confided to me
172
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,972
he feels trapped in a loveless marriage
with Mrs. Captain Peanutbutter.
173
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:19,308
Well, can you blame her?
174
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,351
Excuse me?
175
00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:22,645
Every time I get trapped
in a conversation with Captain,
176
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,231
I think, "If I was married to this guy,
177
00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:28,693
I would gnaw my own hand off
just to get the ring off my body."
178
00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,611
At least no one in my family
has anger issues.
179
00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:34,448
My father has come so far
with his anger management classes!
180
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:38,703
I'm sorry, but your father is a hothead
with a little-pug complex.
181
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,372
Everyone makes excuses for his outbursts.
182
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:42,999
"I don't know what's gotten into Franco.
183
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,667
He's not usually like that."
184
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:48,254
- Trust me. He's like that.
- How dare you.
185
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:51,841
And the way your mother provokes him!
I think they get off on it,
186
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:55,428
and they're making us unwilling
participants in their kinky foreplay.
187
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:57,597
Ew! Those are my parents!
188
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,224
And don't even get me started on Greg.
189
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,102
That guy that I met once
at that gas station!
190
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,522
- Why are you bringing him up?
- I don't know, but he sucks, too!
191
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,025
- Oh.
- There, I got it off my chest.
192
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:11,152
I know who I need right now.
193
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:13,112
No, Pickles. Please don't TweedFeed this.
194
00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,239
I understand your Pickle Pack
is part of how you process pain.
195
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:19,368
Wrong, Mr. Mister.
The Pack isn't part of anything.
196
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,911
They are everything.
197
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,789
When I stabbed myself in the eye
with a boba straw,
198
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,877
they all sent me photos
of themselves wearing eyepatches.
199
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,046
And when my Grandma Piccolino died,
200
00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:35,760
stickyvicki was the first person
to say, "LMAO. Sorry for your loss."
201
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:39,388
My subscribers are with me
through thick and thin.
202
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:44,477
And they have never strayed. Unsubscribe!
203
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:52,610
I never thought this would have
204
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:54,487
so much practical application in my life,
205
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,156
but you could tie some sheets together
and make a rope.
206
00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:00,034
- Pickles, wait!
- No! You stay!
207
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,036
Bedroom lights, on!
208
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:03,537
- Down!
- Go, go, go.
209
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,553
{\an8}The wedding is off!
210
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:24,266
He cheated on me!
211
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,023
- Freezer, ice.
- Dispensing.
212
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,777
Water filter, filtrate.
213
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:39,990
Oh, I have to talk to her!
214
00:11:44,912 --> 00:11:47,748
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Let's hit the bricks and quick.
215
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:51,210
- Um, Princess Carolyn...
- Oh, fish!
216
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:58,217
{\an8}I mean, I've been hurt by guys before.
But this... I just feel so stupid.
217
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:02,138
{\an8}... My God, thank you, not even.
218
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,391
Hi. I know you are quite upset, but...
219
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:08,477
Are you not listening?
I told you to leave me alone.
220
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,730
- Right, but...
- Oh! You want a makeup tutorial?
221
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,691
Here's a makeup tutorial:
we are never making up!
222
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,735
- Wha...
- Door, slam!
223
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:20,698
Okay. Here's how to look
like a crying, pugly freak!
224
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:24,535
So, you're gonna want a mascara
that really runs...
225
00:12:24,618 --> 00:12:26,078
- So, why Chicago?
- What?
226
00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,330
What's the draw?
Is it the rampant gun violence?
227
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,834
Or do you just like seeing improv actors
who aren't good enough for LA?
228
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:34,170
- Or is there a guy?
- Uh...
229
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,464
What's his name, your suitor?
Your gentleman caller?
230
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,883
- Guy.
- Fine. What's your guy's name?
231
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:42,803
No. Guy is the name of the guy
I'm not moving to Chicago for.
232
00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:45,598
What's the name of the guy
you are moving to Chicago for?
233
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:46,766
I think we're done here.
234
00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:53,856
- Ruthie.
- This is all your fault.
235
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,816
If you hadn't creeped out
every nanny I hire...
236
00:12:55,900 --> 00:13:00,571
I wouldn't have to monitor them so closely
if you hadn't hired a bunch of quacks!
237
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:02,239
Ooh! Duck!
238
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:07,661
What's with all this mid-century furniture
so close to the ground?
239
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,582
- No one had to hide in the '50s?
- Close to the ground, that's it!
240
00:13:11,665 --> 00:13:14,001
We've gotta think like a baby!
241
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,170
I'm a baby. I don't have a job.
242
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,798
I love being wrapped up
in soft, red hoodies.
243
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,884
And when I'm feeling low,
I like to get high.
244
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:24,720
Ruthie's a climber!
245
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,600
Just as I suspected.
246
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,978
Fresh drool. It's Ruthie.
247
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,146
Todd!
248
00:13:38,442 --> 00:13:42,363
So, I obviously can't
marry him, right?
249
00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,615
What do you guys think I should do?
250
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,617
Hey. Give me that.
251
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,620
"You should make Mr. Peanutbutter
take you to the park,
252
00:13:49,703 --> 00:13:52,832
far away from this mouse."
What mouse?
253
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,584
Great idea!
254
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,837
Door, open!
255
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,964
Hey, Mister! Take me to the park!
256
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:02,299
- Can do!
- I'll be right down!
257
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,760
Okay, Pickle Pack,
let's pick out an outfit.
258
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,888
What says, "I am going to survive this
because I am strong,
259
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:10,224
- but you should still feel very bad"?
- Uh...
260
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:14,562
Go, baby! Go to mama! Oh.
261
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:20,484
But what if we go for a walk, and he says
all the right things, and I forgive him?
262
00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,237
I can't make it so easy for him, can I?
263
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,613
Oh, my God.
264
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:28,409
That is an even better idea, MarciFartz.
265
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:31,245
Hey, Mister!
Cancel the park and come here.
266
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,789
What? Stay out of my shit, MarciFartz!
267
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,208
- On my way, darling!
- Kitty up.
268
00:14:37,459 --> 00:14:40,337
Bring me my favorite drink.
Exactly the way I like it.
269
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,922
Then we'll talk.
270
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,465
Of course, right away!
271
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:47,678
Of course he'll make
my drink perfect.
272
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,847
Because he's perfect!
273
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,682
I mean, look at him!
274
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:54,685
And... and... Look at him!
275
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:57,688
Um... Oh!
276
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:01,400
And him, as portrayed
in this boardwalk caricature drawing!
277
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:03,485
I didn't know he liked tennis
and skateboarding.
278
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,905
What else has he been hiding from me?
279
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:09,825
I mean, is it me?
Was I not good enough?
280
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,622
Yeah, I'm not the problem!
281
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:18,876
In fact, why am I even in his house?
282
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,753
I need to pack!
283
00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:27,217
I'm going
to a fancy-ass hotel.
284
00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,594
And...
285
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:33,807
...I'm gonna try to get my room comped
in exchange for social media promotion!
286
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,309
And then they'll say no.
287
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:38,062
And then I'll pay for the room
and drag them online.
288
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:41,065
Hate to leave you hanging.
289
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,025
Yeah.
290
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:47,112
Wait a minute! Why should I leave?
291
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,031
He's the one who cheated!
292
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,996
He can live in the dog park
for all I care!
293
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:02,878
But then, why do I want him to stay?
294
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:06,256
I'm so confused.
295
00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:09,843
Good call, t_chavez!
296
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,805
You're welcome. Oh, no!
297
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,056
Phew!
298
00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:26,944
Boba Maker. Uh... boba make?
299
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,782
Would you like whipped cream?
300
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:36,120
Uh...
301
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,914
Hey, so, uh, sobriety. How is it?
302
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,749
Impossible.
303
00:16:45,212 --> 00:16:47,798
Uh...
304
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:51,760
There's no clear path to the exit.
You can wait it out, I'm doing the window.
305
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,138
It's not because of me
that you're moving to Chicago?
306
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,140
No. I need to go.
307
00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:59,143
Pickles? Precious?
Possible point of complexity...
308
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:00,936
Son of a bitch.
309
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:04,148
...I know your favorite drink is boba,
310
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:06,025
but just the other day, you said,
311
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,402
"Whipped cream
is the best thing in the world,"
312
00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,946
immediately followed by,
and this is a direct quote,
313
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,907
"So, keep it as far away
from me as possible!"
314
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,868
I just wanted to circle back.
315
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,041
Yeah.
316
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,167
Don't get me wrong,
317
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,545
I love the challenge of trying
to square two irreconcilable positions.
318
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,006
Where's the baby? There's the baby!
319
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:31,800
Where's the baby?
Shit! Where's the baby?
320
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,056
Bang-crash, you say! I hear the note.
321
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:41,560
I'll be right back with your drink
prepared exactly the way you want it!
322
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:47,816
Here.
323
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,070
- You know how in AA they give you chips?
- But no salsa?
324
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:52,362
Using that.
325
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:54,490
But they're a big deal, the chips.
326
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,743
Sure, they brainwash you into thinking
they're more important than they are,
327
00:17:57,826 --> 00:17:59,995
but when I got my two-month chip...
328
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,500
I thought, "I wish Diane could see this."
329
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,252
I see it. It's amazing.
330
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,797
It would not be improved by salsa.
331
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:11,673
Door, open!
332
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,347
No! No!
333
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,060
Hmm.
334
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:29,024
Sunshine, I have your boba.
335
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,859
No whipped cream, I hope.
336
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,111
Of course not.
337
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,946
You always know how I like it.
338
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:36,156
Is there any chance we could talk IRL?
339
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,033
Intimately, rigorously, lengthily?
340
00:18:40,285 --> 00:18:44,206
You know, what's funny
is now I actually want the whipped cream.
341
00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:47,126
Well, good news, because, uh...
342
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:50,712
- Hmm...
- I don't want to be mad at you.
343
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:51,713
That's great!
344
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:53,924
- No, it's not...
- I know I caused you pain,
345
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:57,344
but we can get through this.
I still wanna marry you.
346
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,013
Do you still want to marry me?
347
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,268
Promise me you'll never lie to me again?
348
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:05,769
I promise.
349
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:11,275
Then I guess we could put it behind us
if it just happened the one time.
350
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,528
It did! One time! One unit of cheating.
351
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:16,738
Comprised of two separate instances.
352
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,408
- What?
- But the spirit of it was once.
353
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:22,786
Well, at least you told me right away.
354
00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,706
- It happened a few months ago.
- What?
355
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:29,209
- But I'm being honest with you now!
- Okay.
356
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,754
- At least it wasn't with someone I know.
- It was Diane.
357
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,508
Diane, the nice lady
from the chew-toy store?
358
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,051
Diane, my ex-wife?
359
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,429
That's so much worse!
360
00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,432
You are a bad dog!
361
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:47,936
No. No. No!
362
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:06,079
Come on, Eduardo. Hold it together.
You're not just a fainting goat.
363
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:11,084
You're a trained sober companion.
Just do what the sign says.
364
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,047
No!
365
00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,181
- Vacuum, stop.
- Stopping.
366
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:31,063
Coin sorter, sort.
367
00:20:31,146 --> 00:20:34,233
Oh, Coin Sorter,
I'd love to toss my problems in a tray
368
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:37,736
and say, "Here, sort these out."
I know it doesn't work that way,
369
00:20:37,819 --> 00:20:42,199
but if only this smart house
could give some advice to this stupid dog.
370
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:44,826
- Go to her.
- Coin Sorter?
371
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:47,579
Go to Pickles. Go now.
372
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:51,458
I don't know, Coin Sorter.
I've already screwed everything up so bad.
373
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:53,835
I should sit here
and wait for her to come to me.
374
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:57,297
No. You go to her. Leave this room.
375
00:20:57,381 --> 00:21:00,092
- Okay.
- But don't talk so much!
376
00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:04,888
- What?
- It is I, the robot, uh, thermostat.
377
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,057
Thermostat, I should have known.
378
00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:09,226
I can always count on you
to cool things down
379
00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,894
when they get too heated.
You were saying?
380
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:13,230
Sometimes you try to fix problems
381
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:16,984
or make them go away,
which comes off as dismissive.
382
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:20,487
If you want to solve this, listen.
Really hear her.
383
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,364
Beep-boop. Seventy-two degrees.
384
00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:23,824
Okay.
385
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,542
Is this mess
why you're moving to Chicago?
386
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,335
I told you,
I'm moving for me.
387
00:21:35,502 --> 00:21:36,336
I get it.
388
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:38,839
- Are you gonna be okay?
- Yeah.
389
00:21:38,922 --> 00:21:42,384
- I mean... I don't know.
- You seem okay.
390
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:45,304
But the reason I had to tell you
I was leaving,
391
00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:48,015
the reason I came
to my ex-husband's house,
392
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,851
was because I need to know
that you're gonna be okay.
393
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:52,394
I need to hear you say it.
394
00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,939
I can't leave if I don't know
you're going to be okay, BoJack.
395
00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:57,691
- I'll be okay.
- Promise?
396
00:21:57,774 --> 00:21:59,776
Because if something happens,
and I'm in Chicago...
397
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:03,155
That's not a friendship,
that's a hostage situation.
398
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,574
Go to Chicago. I'll be fine.
399
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,367
Thank you.
400
00:22:10,037 --> 00:22:11,580
- Hey!
- Ruthie?
401
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:14,458
Ruthie!
402
00:22:21,798 --> 00:22:23,800
There you are!
403
00:22:23,884 --> 00:22:28,263
Let's get you away
from these delightful choking hazards!
404
00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,807
You know, Todd, you have a knack for this.
405
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,476
Would you wanna be her nanny?
406
00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:35,062
I do know her routine
and all of her favorite foods
407
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:37,814
and how to do funny voices
for bedtime stories,
408
00:22:37,898 --> 00:22:41,526
unlike Carlotta who does voices
like Cameron Diaz
409
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:44,363
"did a voice" for the Shrek movies.
410
00:22:44,821 --> 00:22:47,616
So, that's a yes then?
411
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:56,124
I don't want to be mad at you.
412
00:22:58,418 --> 00:23:00,796
It sucks that I have to be mad at you.
413
00:23:00,879 --> 00:23:03,465
This should be
the happiest time of my life,
414
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:08,512
but now because you did something stupid,
I have to feel bad.
415
00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:10,055
That's not fair.
416
00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:15,769
And I still love you and...
I still wanna marry you.
417
00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:18,480
But you can't do things
that hurt me like that.
418
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:20,148
It's not okay.
419
00:23:20,524 --> 00:23:23,527
And if we just go back
to the way things were before
420
00:23:23,610 --> 00:23:27,280
and pretend nothing happened,
I'm gonna feel stupid.
421
00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,241
We can't just go back.
422
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,451
How can we make this right?
423
00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:34,454
Don't just stand there!
I'm talking to you.
424
00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:39,000
I'm sorry. I want us to stay together.
I want you to trust me.
425
00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:42,003
I wanna make us even somehow.
426
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:44,506
Even? The only logical way to be even
427
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:47,050
would be if I got to sleep
with somebody else.
428
00:23:47,134 --> 00:23:48,927
Okay. If that's what needs to happen.
429
00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:51,388
- Really?
- Yeah, we just have to think who...
430
00:23:51,471 --> 00:23:53,140
Buzzy. My high school boyfriend, Buzzy.
431
00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:55,058
Very quick with that name, but okay. Fine.
432
00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:56,768
No, you don't even know him.
433
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,520
Knowing is what hurts the most.
434
00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:02,816
What if I sleep with Buzzy and Tyler
from Soul Cycle?
435
00:24:02,899 --> 00:24:06,570
- Two people?
- Well, maybe we can keep brainstorming.
436
00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:07,779
If we put our heads together,
437
00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:10,991
I know we'll find the perfect guy
for you to cheat on me with
438
00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:12,284
that makes it totally even,
439
00:24:12,367 --> 00:24:15,245
so things can go back to normal
and we can get married.
440
00:24:15,328 --> 00:24:17,956
Thank you.
441
00:24:18,623 --> 00:24:21,293
- Hey, guys.
- Diane?
442
00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:24,880
I'm just here to randomly apologize
for that time we cheated on Pickles twice.
443
00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:28,133
It was a big mistake, and it was my fault,
and it will never happen again.
444
00:24:28,216 --> 00:24:29,801
Also, I think I left my wallet here
445
00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:32,012
when I came to your party
a year and a half ago.
446
00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:34,639
If you find it, probably under the bed
in the master suite,
447
00:24:34,723 --> 00:24:37,601
could you mail it to me?
I live in Chicago now. Thanks.
448
00:24:37,684 --> 00:24:40,228
This is Eduardo. Don't mind him.
He's just keeping me sober.
449
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:42,147
Found the baby, had a blast, gotta go.
450
00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:44,566
- And here's your boba.
- Thank you.
451
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,694
Odd.
452
00:24:47,777 --> 00:24:51,114
- Oh, my parents are calling.
- Fun! Put 'em on speaker!
36617
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