All language subtitles for ThatsHarassment.E04.The.Actor.1080p.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-SbR

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,168 --> 00:00:01,961 BASED ON A REAL INCIDENT 2 00:00:02,795 --> 00:00:04,408 It was kind of sad and hilarious 3 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:06,046 because I walked in 4 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,646 and there's this little girl crying. 5 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:08,975 And I'm like, "Is this a funeral 6 00:00:09,135 --> 00:00:10,585 or a birthday party, because I'm confused." 7 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:11,230 Like, I don't know. 8 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,588 - Oh, so then what happened? - Oh, let's try this one. 9 00:00:13,723 --> 00:00:16,746 So, my mom was telling her that now I'm working with you, 10 00:00:16,893 --> 00:00:17,876 and that I'm dressing you 11 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,933 for "Detectives from the Future." 12 00:00:20,063 --> 00:00:22,780 And you know, she said that if she wanted, 13 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,903 I could get you to make a video, 14 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,441 wishing her a happy birthday. 15 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:27,651 - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 16 00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,113 I don't love that one. 17 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,073 Actually, let's try another one. I'm sorry. 18 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:31,991 Sure. 19 00:00:32,325 --> 00:00:34,951 - So, what did she say? - Oh, she lost it. 20 00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:36,446 I mean, the kid went psycho. 21 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,728 Like, she stopped crying and all of a sudden, boom, 22 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,950 it's like she was suddenly high. 23 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:42,878 Oh, seriously? 24 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,126 Yeah, like she couldn't stop talking, 25 00:00:45,255 --> 00:00:47,076 she was running around telling everybody. 26 00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:49,346 - Oh. - Bob's making me a personal video, 27 00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,181 and I'm gonna have this video from Bob. 28 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:53,098 And no one's gonna have -- I mean, honestly, 29 00:00:53,261 --> 00:00:55,998 you should have been there, it was crazy. Bananas. 30 00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,685 Bob was making her a personal video, huh? 31 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,481 I was gonna ask you. 32 00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:04,435 I even told her 33 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,985 that I had to make sure that you were okay with it. 34 00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,166 It's a lot to ask. 35 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,811 I know, I know. I don't like making promises 36 00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:11,751 without asking you. 37 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:12,990 And I'm so sorry. I should -- 38 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,215 Come on, I'm kidding. 39 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,618 - [Laughter] - What, are you crazy? 40 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:17,856 You jerk! 41 00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:21,465 No, of course I would do that for you. My God! Yeah. 42 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:22,541 Oh! You're so sweet. 43 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,726 - You're the best! - No problem. 44 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:26,378 How is she related to you? 45 00:01:26,838 --> 00:01:28,116 - Oh, she's my niece. - Ah. 46 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:32,165 Yeah. I mean, seriously, my sister should be arrested. 47 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,595 I mean, who does that? 48 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:35,751 You plan a birthday party for your daughter, 49 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,781 then you make sure that her friends show up, you know? 50 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,473 Actually, now that I think about it, 51 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,398 my mom did the same thing 52 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,520 and it's just like -- 53 00:01:43,646 --> 00:01:45,338 Oh, whoa! 54 00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,316 - Whoa! - [Nervous laughter] 55 00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,901 - Look who popped out. - [Nervous laughter] 56 00:01:52,030 --> 00:01:53,638 Come on, what are you doing? 57 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,073 I'm not doing anything. 58 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,035 He's got a mind of his own. 59 00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:00,830 A mind of his own? Oh, okay. 60 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,331 He just popped out to say hello. 61 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,863 Yeah, well, you know, okay. 62 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,743 He said hello and now pop that thing back in. 63 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:09,921 Okay. 64 00:02:10,673 --> 00:02:14,010 Uh, hey, maybe you can give me a hand. 65 00:02:15,261 --> 00:02:16,595 Bob! 66 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:17,305 What? 67 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,193 Jesus, Bob, please. 68 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:20,850 What, I can't believe you're so embarrassed. 69 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,068 - What did you expect? - Well, you see people 70 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:26,481 take their clothes off all day long. 71 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,641 Look, that's enough, just put it away, okay? 72 00:02:28,775 --> 00:02:29,478 Okay, but wait a second, wait a second. 73 00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,860 Just take a look at him. 74 00:02:31,903 --> 00:02:32,778 Just take a little look. 75 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:34,171 Bob! 76 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,148 Seriously. I just want to know 77 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,740 if you think he's attractive or not? 78 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:39,076 Just have a little look. 79 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,163 What are you doing? 80 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:48,293 Don't you realize that I'm attracted to you? 81 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:51,056 Okay. 82 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:52,800 Look, I know you don't think a lot of yourself, 83 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,466 but I think you are 84 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,593 an incredibly sexy woman. 85 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388 You totally turn me on. 86 00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:00,950 So just have a look. 87 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:03,643 Tell me if you think you guys might want to be friends. 88 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,778 You should put your pants on. 89 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:17,531 All right, if you're not into it, 90 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,408 you're not into it. 91 00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,326 So, I'm gonna put him away now. 92 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:22,828 You okay with that? 93 00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:24,838 Because you know, once I put him away, 94 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,206 he doesn't back out. 95 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:27,465 I don't want to drive him crazy – 96 00:03:27,625 --> 00:03:29,813 in, out, in, out. It's tiring. 97 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,586 I don't want to tire the little guy out. 98 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,550 Okay. That's that. 99 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,448 Bob, need you on set. 100 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,263 Okay. I'm coming. 101 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:47,728 Yeah. 102 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:51,898 I like this jacket. 103 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,335 It's a nice jacket. 104 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:54,901 Yeah, where is this from? 105 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,113 I can't remember. 106 00:03:57,488 --> 00:04:00,115 Uh, this is good. 107 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,166 Okay, give me your phone. 108 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:04,911 What? 109 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,016 Your phone, don't you want me to 110 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,040 make a birthday video for your niece? 111 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:08,916 Oh. 112 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:13,963 What's her name? 113 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,361 - Naomi. - Naomi. 114 00:04:16,506 --> 00:04:19,673 Yeah. She uh, she just turned seven. 115 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,386 Seven. Oh. 116 00:04:25,891 --> 00:04:28,801 Hey, Naomi! Happy birthday! 117 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,826 Seven years old, my gosh, 118 00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:32,565 what a big girl you are! 119 00:04:32,815 --> 00:04:35,971 Hope you have a fantastic year full of wonder and mystery 120 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,611 and adventure and joy. 121 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,863 I'm here with your aunt. 122 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:42,591 She's the best in the world. 123 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,015 Thanks for watching our show. 124 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:45,488 Have a great year! 125 00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:46,996 Muah! 126 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:48,706 Here you go. 127 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:51,458 Okay. 128 00:04:58,653 --> 00:05:01,728 #THATSHARRASSMENT 8649

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