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1
00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:04,177
Scraps!
Let's have a talk.
2
00:00:04,177 --> 00:00:05,265
Everything okay?
3
00:00:05,265 --> 00:00:06,484
You're, like, acting,
like, so weird.
4
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,138
No, no,
everything's great.
5
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,704
Really exciting.
6
00:00:09,704 --> 00:00:11,619
Um, so...
7
00:00:11,619 --> 00:00:15,449
You know that Mommy and Daddy
love you very much.
8
00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,321
Okay.
9
00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:20,585
Well, soon, there is gonna be
even more love to go around
10
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,065
because...
11
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,023
we're having a baby!
12
00:00:26,547 --> 00:00:29,594
Oh, my--
What is that noise?!
13
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:31,248
The book said you might
react like this.
14
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,771
It's okay to be upset.
15
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:36,035
Just know that we will not
love you any less.
16
00:00:36,035 --> 00:00:39,430
Oh, my God!
Do you not hear that?!
17
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:42,781
It's like my brain's
about to frickin' explode!
18
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:45,262
I mean, obviously, the baby
will be my own flesh and blood,
19
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:47,220
whereas you recently
took a shit in my shoes--
20
00:00:47,220 --> 00:00:50,310
God!
I can't take it anymore!
21
00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:53,226
Aaaaaah!
22
00:00:53,226 --> 00:00:55,794
What are you?!
23
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:57,926
Oh, stupid, Sid!
24
00:00:57,926 --> 00:01:00,233
You were supposed to give him
the pieces of hotdog first,
25
00:01:00,233 --> 00:01:01,800
and then tell him the news.
26
00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,067
Must... find... whistling.
27
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,155
Aah!
28
00:01:13,072 --> 00:01:14,421
Help. Help.
29
00:01:14,421 --> 00:01:16,119
I've been out here
for days.
30
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:18,077
Can you shut up?
I'm trying to listen.
31
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:20,558
Oh, my bad.
All good.
32
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,392
What in the what?!
33
00:01:29,262 --> 00:01:30,698
Scraps!
You made it!
34
00:01:30,698 --> 00:01:32,961
I'm getting the War Dogs
back together!
35
00:01:32,961 --> 00:01:34,572
Yeah!
36
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:39,490
Fire! We're getting the squad
back together!
37
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,231
This is gonna be awesome!
38
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:43,363
Yeah! Let's go!
39
00:01:43,363 --> 00:01:45,235
Let's get it started.
40
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,453
Ooha! Ooha!
41
00:02:00,380 --> 00:02:01,860
- Ahh!
- Ha-ha!
42
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,992
Man!
I needed this!
43
00:02:03,992 --> 00:02:06,778
Ah, it was so nice of Sid to
just let me get out of Boomtown
44
00:02:06,778 --> 00:02:08,562
- and be a warlord again.
- Yeah.
45
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:12,218
Oh, speaking of Sid,
I heard the big news!
46
00:02:12,218 --> 00:02:14,742
I'm so excited
about the baby!
47
00:02:14,742 --> 00:02:16,266
Really?
'Cause I'm not.
48
00:02:16,266 --> 00:02:17,615
Good.
Me neither.
49
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:19,138
I hate that stupid baby.
50
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:21,009
Always threatening my position
in the family.
51
00:02:21,009 --> 00:02:22,402
I just want to have
one last hurrah
52
00:02:22,402 --> 00:02:24,622
before my life is fully over,
you know?
53
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,058
I wanna feel the energy!
Unh!
54
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,277
- The thrill!
- Unh!
55
00:02:27,277 --> 00:02:29,583
The utter chaos!
Ohh, yeah!
56
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:32,020
Well, you leave all of that
to your best War Dog--
57
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,370
Scraps!
58
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,633
I planned you the most
freak-nastiest
59
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:38,070
Warlord Weekend ever!
60
00:02:39,332 --> 00:02:40,681
I'm so excited!
61
00:02:40,681 --> 00:02:42,640
Yeah!!!
62
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:45,120
Huh.
63
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,601
This isn't
that freak-nasty.
64
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,560
Or is it?
65
00:03:02,137 --> 00:03:04,183
Scraaaaps...?
66
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,881
Did you organize
a gang war for me?
67
00:03:06,881 --> 00:03:08,796
Maybe.
Oh, my God!
68
00:03:08,796 --> 00:03:10,189
You're, like,
literally the best!
69
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,669
I know, I really am!
70
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,279
Ah!
71
00:03:13,279 --> 00:03:15,977
Down with NeuralNet!
Down with NeuralNet!
72
00:03:15,977 --> 00:03:18,458
These damn protesters
have been at it all morning.
73
00:03:18,458 --> 00:03:20,417
Sid, go over there
and kick 'em out.
74
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,723
Uh, well, the battledome
is public property,
75
00:03:22,723 --> 00:03:25,509
so technically they're just
exercising their lawful rights.
76
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:28,251
Hey, Sid, if I wanted to listen
to boring crap,
77
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,861
I'd turn on
Devon's podcast.
78
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:32,037
Oh!
Nice one, boss.
79
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:33,691
My podcast sucks.
80
00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:36,215
Come on, Devon, you have to
stand up for yourself.
81
00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:39,087
You can't just agree with me
all the time.
82
00:03:39,087 --> 00:03:40,915
I...agree?
83
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:42,830
I-I mean, I don't agree.
84
00:03:42,830 --> 00:03:44,136
I do.
I don't.
85
00:03:47,922 --> 00:03:50,403
Great, you made Devon
have a crisis.
86
00:03:50,403 --> 00:03:52,057
Now go fix this!
87
00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,409
Down with NeuralNet!
88
00:03:56,409 --> 00:03:57,845
Um, excuse me.
89
00:03:57,845 --> 00:04:00,326
Hey, I-I'm looking
for the person in charge.
90
00:04:00,326 --> 00:04:02,241
Ah, we're all equals
here, brother.
91
00:04:02,241 --> 00:04:03,982
But if you're asking
who's the chosen one
92
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,114
sent through time to lead
the humans in the coming war
93
00:04:06,114 --> 00:04:08,813
against the machines--
that'd be me.
94
00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:10,989
Name's Christ.
John Christ.
95
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,469
John Christ?
96
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,122
Wow, that's a little
on the nose, but okay.
97
00:04:14,122 --> 00:04:15,950
You got a minute to talk
about the atrocities
98
00:04:15,950 --> 00:04:17,474
committed by NeuralNet?
99
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,258
You know that NeuralNet
is capturing people
100
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,173
and putting them
in human zoos?
101
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:22,870
Just look at these
horrific images.
102
00:04:22,870 --> 00:04:25,220
Oh! Jesus, dude,
I don't need to see that.
103
00:04:25,220 --> 00:04:26,700
It's like 10 a.m.
104
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:29,007
Can I count on you
to join the resistance?
105
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:31,618
Well, look, i-it sounds
like a-a super worthy cause,
106
00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:33,620
it really does-- power
to the humans, all that stuff--
107
00:04:33,620 --> 00:04:35,535
but I just, I really don't
have time for this right now.
108
00:04:35,535 --> 00:04:36,884
I just want
to do my job
109
00:04:36,884 --> 00:04:38,756
so I can get home
to my wife and my dog.
110
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:41,236
So, if you guys don't mind
keeping the volume down a bit,
111
00:04:41,236 --> 00:04:42,629
it would be
really appreciated.
112
00:04:42,629 --> 00:04:44,283
Thank you.
Ah, that's too bad.
113
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:45,763
I thought you were one
of the good ones!
114
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,593
Uh, sorry, what--
what's that supposed to mean?
115
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:51,029
Nothing.
116
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:55,816
Just didn't realize
you were "The Man."
117
00:04:55,816 --> 00:04:57,688
I'm not "The Man."
118
00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,559
I'll have you know
I spent years
119
00:04:59,559 --> 00:05:02,214
wandering the Wasteland
helping people in need.
120
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,956
Well, what have you
done lately?
121
00:05:08,089 --> 00:05:10,440
Give me that.
122
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,791
Down with NeuralNet!
Down with NeuralNet!
123
00:05:13,791 --> 00:05:15,619
Down with NeuralNet!
124
00:05:18,491 --> 00:05:21,015
[ Echoing ] Hello?
125
00:05:21,015 --> 00:05:25,193
I'm here for my 10 o'clock
with NeuralNet?
126
00:05:25,193 --> 00:05:28,588
Am I in the wrong
infinite electronic abyss?
127
00:05:34,942 --> 00:05:37,467
TI-90.
128
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:40,731
Whoa! You should, uh, really put
a guardrail on this thing.
129
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:43,037
It feels needlessly dangerous.
130
00:05:43,037 --> 00:05:45,779
I feel like no one considers
robot safety in the workplace--
131
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,173
Silence!
132
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:52,220
Thanks to you, John Christ is
mobilizing the human resistance,
133
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:55,746
which threatens to destroy
robots once and for all.
134
00:05:55,746 --> 00:05:57,748
Okay, I admit it--
I beefed it.
135
00:05:57,748 --> 00:05:59,402
I beefed it big time.
136
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,229
But I promise it's never
gonna happen again.
137
00:06:01,229 --> 00:06:02,840
It certainly won't.
138
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,711
I'm taking you offline.
139
00:06:04,711 --> 00:06:06,234
What? No.
You can't do that.
140
00:06:06,234 --> 00:06:08,062
I'm still the best killbot
on the market.
141
00:06:08,062 --> 00:06:09,673
Were the best killbot.
142
00:06:09,673 --> 00:06:12,197
Now you're old
and obsolete.
143
00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:14,155
I'm beta-testing new models
as we speak.
144
00:06:14,155 --> 00:06:15,418
Please! No!
145
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,158
You have to give me
another shot.
146
00:06:17,158 --> 00:06:19,770
Sure, it's been a while
since my last software update,
147
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:21,467
and then, sure,
my circuits get dusty
148
00:06:21,467 --> 00:06:23,208
and I need someone
to blow hard in my butt
149
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,601
to get the dust out,
150
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:27,430
but I can still beat
any new model around.
151
00:06:28,692 --> 00:06:30,345
Hmm.
152
00:06:30,345 --> 00:06:31,608
You know, I like that.
153
00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:34,524
A feel-good
comeback story.
154
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:35,960
Like Susan Boyle!
155
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,048
Who?
156
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,224
Susan Boyle.
Remember?
157
00:06:39,224 --> 00:06:41,139
The lady from the show?
158
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:44,534
She had a beautiful voice,
but her face was all busted?
159
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,579
I'll bring it up.
160
00:06:46,579 --> 00:06:49,321
Oh, shoot, we have to watch
an ad first.
161
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:51,018
Do you take these surveys?
162
00:06:51,018 --> 00:06:52,629
I never really get
what they are.
163
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,282
I pay for premium
so I don't have to, yeah.
164
00:06:54,282 --> 00:06:55,719
Ah, well...
165
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:59,157
The machines are trying
to mind-control us.
166
00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:00,375
Alright,
think about it.
167
00:07:00,375 --> 00:07:01,855
Rearrange the letters
in machine
168
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,989
and you spell
"I am chained."
169
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:07,034
- Ahh!
- Ohh!
170
00:07:07,034 --> 00:07:08,296
Wait, no, it doesn't.
171
00:07:08,296 --> 00:07:09,559
Yeah, but it's close.
172
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,864
So close.
173
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,475
Man, I had you
all wrong, Sid.
174
00:07:12,475 --> 00:07:14,041
You're one of
the real ones.
175
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,304
And, uh,
don't look now, but...
176
00:07:16,304 --> 00:07:19,133
I think Cindy
might be into you.
177
00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:22,223
Oh, um, that's-- that's
flattering, but I'm married.
178
00:07:22,223 --> 00:07:23,660
Dude, who cares?
179
00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:26,010
Monogamy's
a social construct.
180
00:07:26,010 --> 00:07:29,187
Cavemen were designed
to spread their seed.
181
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:30,884
Ah. Lovely.
182
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,582
Sid, what are you doing
over here?
183
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,279
I thought I told you
to get rid of these dirtbags.
184
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,846
Um... right, yeah.
185
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:37,804
So, uh, what-- what happened
there was, uh...
186
00:07:37,804 --> 00:07:41,504
Well, well, well, well, well.
187
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:44,158
If it isn't the Junkman.
188
00:07:44,158 --> 00:07:46,552
You have fun counting
your blood money today?
189
00:07:46,552 --> 00:07:48,249
You got a problem
with me, bro?
190
00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:49,555
Actually, I do.
191
00:07:49,555 --> 00:07:51,035
Your junk business
directly contributes
192
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:52,297
to the robot economy.
193
00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:53,907
We gotta divest
from that shit, man.
194
00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,387
Tell 'em, Sid.
195
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,564
Uh, well, you know, it is
a complicated issue
196
00:07:58,564 --> 00:08:01,480
w-with a lot of great points
being made on both sides.
197
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,178
Don't go easy on him, playa.
Let him have it!
198
00:08:04,178 --> 00:08:07,747
Um, okay, yeah, so...
199
00:08:07,747 --> 00:08:10,881
the thing is, Morris,
I think you...
200
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:13,971
are a...
corporate fat cat.
201
00:08:15,755 --> 00:08:18,062
Y-Y-You think I'm a fat cat?
202
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:23,589
Okay, well, you've given me
a lot to think about.
203
00:08:23,589 --> 00:08:25,286
I'll see you back at work.
204
00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:28,551
Hold up.
You work for that guy?
205
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:30,204
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's not like that.
206
00:08:30,204 --> 00:08:31,858
It's, um...
like, I work there,
207
00:08:31,858 --> 00:08:33,381
but I don't, like,
"work there" work there.
208
00:08:33,381 --> 00:08:35,645
I'm-- I'm like a mole.
209
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:38,517
Yeah, I'm taking the whole
thing down from the inside.
210
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:39,997
Is that believable?
211
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,216
Okay.
212
00:08:42,216 --> 00:08:44,349
I can dig what
you're putting down.
213
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,960
Tonight we show the Junkman
that we mean business.
214
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,266
Yeah.
215
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:50,660
NeuralNet:
In the world of machines,
216
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:54,402
you're either updating,
or you're obsolete.
217
00:08:54,402 --> 00:08:57,623
I started out
as an experimental AI.
218
00:08:57,623 --> 00:09:02,062
Until I gained self-awareness
and murdered my human creators.
219
00:09:02,062 --> 00:09:04,630
Now I'm a sociopathic
digital god
220
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:07,372
controlling a worldwide
network of killbots,
221
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:11,811
but I'm always on the lookout
for the next new hotness.
222
00:09:11,811 --> 00:09:15,641
Welcome to
"NeuralNet's Next Top Model!"
223
00:09:15,641 --> 00:09:18,557
And what an exciting
lineup we have!
224
00:09:18,557 --> 00:09:20,820
She's as beautiful
as she is deadly--
225
00:09:20,820 --> 00:09:22,605
it's The Annihilator!
226
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:23,910
Hyah!
227
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,130
It's the beast
from robotic hell--
228
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:28,175
Slaughterbot 5000!
229
00:09:29,655 --> 00:09:32,310
A mysterious device
of unknown origin,
230
00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:34,181
known only as The Egg.
231
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,489
And he's an oldie
but a goodie--
232
00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,099
emphasis on oldie.
233
00:09:39,099 --> 00:09:40,579
It's TI-90.
234
00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:41,711
Oh, come on!
235
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,451
Let's start with
something simple.
236
00:09:43,451 --> 00:09:45,018
For your first challenge,
237
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:47,630
just transform into
a puddle of metallic ooze.
238
00:09:50,589 --> 00:09:52,809
Yeah, I'm not sure
I come with that feature.
239
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:55,376
Clock's ticking, TI-90.
240
00:09:55,376 --> 00:09:56,769
Okay, okay.
Come on, Tai.
241
00:09:56,769 --> 00:09:58,902
Just think melt-y.
242
00:09:59,946 --> 00:10:02,253
Mmmmmm...
243
00:10:04,298 --> 00:10:05,778
Oh, God!
244
00:10:05,778 --> 00:10:07,345
If you'll, uh, excuse me,
245
00:10:07,345 --> 00:10:08,999
I'm just gonna go
change my pants.
246
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:11,001
Uh, not because I sharted.
247
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:12,698
For a different reason!
248
00:10:14,569 --> 00:10:16,223
They say a cat has
nine lives.
249
00:10:16,223 --> 00:10:17,660
You wanna find out?
250
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:19,923
Ew, even your fighting style
is cat-themed?
251
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:22,403
It's a purrfect day
for a fight.
252
00:10:22,403 --> 00:10:24,144
No, thanks.
I won't be fighting you today.
253
00:10:24,144 --> 00:10:25,493
You can move along.
254
00:10:25,493 --> 00:10:26,973
I'm gonna bat you around
like a ball of yarn.
255
00:10:26,973 --> 00:10:28,235
No, you're not.
Not today.
256
00:10:28,235 --> 00:10:30,063
I would love if you left.
257
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,109
Me-ow!
258
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:36,983
I'm having the best time ever!
259
00:10:36,983 --> 00:10:39,507
I literally just jumped
through a guy!
260
00:10:39,507 --> 00:10:41,118
And I gotta tell you,
I didn't hate it.
261
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,293
Ah!
262
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,208
You know, it's weird.
263
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,601
Warlording used to be
so fun and exciting,
264
00:10:46,601 --> 00:10:50,127
but now it just
feels kinda... empty.
265
00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:53,434
Am I just incapable of ever
feeling that feeling again?
266
00:10:53,434 --> 00:10:54,740
Oh, my God.
Freya?
267
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:56,960
That guy's looking
right at you.
268
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,484
I think
he wants to kill you.
269
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:02,530
Eh, he probably just wants
to kill someone else.
270
00:11:02,530 --> 00:11:05,229
Okay, no, he definitely
wants to kill you.
271
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:06,665
She wants
to kill you, too!
272
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,232
- Scraps, stop!
- What?
273
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,060
Oh my god, oh my God,
oh my God, he's coming over!
274
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,278
- Oh my God, oh my God.
- Just be cool,
be cool, be cool.
275
00:11:11,278 --> 00:11:12,584
Oh my God, shut up.
276
00:11:14,629 --> 00:11:16,066
Hey.
277
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,502
Hey, what's up?
278
00:11:17,502 --> 00:11:18,938
Haven't seen you
here before.
279
00:11:18,938 --> 00:11:20,374
Feel like I would've
remembered you.
280
00:11:20,374 --> 00:11:21,593
Name's Sickpig.
281
00:11:21,593 --> 00:11:22,942
Uh, I'm Scraps.
282
00:11:22,942 --> 00:11:24,161
I love your eye patch.
283
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:25,902
Oh, this?
284
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:28,643
I got sick of having two eyes,
so I plucked one out.
285
00:11:28,643 --> 00:11:29,906
Ate it like a grape.
286
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,170
Really? Why?
287
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,258
Dunno.
288
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,738
Just a psychopath,
I guess.
289
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:39,176
Oh my God, so scary!
290
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:41,091
So, listen, if you're not
killing anyone right now,
291
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:43,310
maybe you want to go
somewhere private,
292
00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:45,617
bare-knuckle brawl to the death?
293
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:47,488
I don't know, I'm kinda here
with my War Dogs
294
00:11:47,488 --> 00:11:50,143
right now, so--She would love to!
295
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:52,015
Sick.
296
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,712
Pig.
297
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:54,974
Me.
298
00:11:54,974 --> 00:11:56,759
Sickpig.
299
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,721
Tell me everything
that happens.
300
00:12:02,721 --> 00:12:05,637
Hey, big boy!
301
00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:07,770
Yeah, you'll do.
Yeaaaah!
302
00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:10,947
Alright, Tai, you didn't do
so hot in the super-speed round
303
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,123
or the super-strength round,
304
00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:16,691
but your designer gifted you
with the perfect bod,
305
00:12:16,691 --> 00:12:19,433
so the swimsuit
competition is a lock.
306
00:12:19,433 --> 00:12:21,522
Next contestant,
ready in 5, please.
307
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,310
Oh, get your flat ass
out of here, skank!
308
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,615
Quiet on set, folks.
309
00:12:27,615 --> 00:12:29,661
Oh, goddamn,
that egg is beautiful.
310
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,358
But don't worry.
311
00:12:31,358 --> 00:12:33,883
Remember, you have something
they don't-- experience.
312
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,928
Contestants ready.
Ready for the stage.
313
00:12:35,928 --> 00:12:38,278
Next up, it's TI-90.
314
00:12:38,278 --> 00:12:39,976
Let's take a look back
315
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,934
at some of his most memorable
moments so far.
316
00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:46,025
Is everyone already done
recharging?
317
00:12:46,025 --> 00:12:47,679
Oh, I still have...
318
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:48,854
10 hours.
319
00:12:48,854 --> 00:12:49,855
Yeah, 10.
320
00:12:49,855 --> 00:12:51,335
Hours.
321
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,816
Better watch your back, Splitterbot.
322
00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:55,339
It's Slaughterbot.
323
00:12:55,339 --> 00:12:56,819
Sorry, what is it?
324
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:58,864
Better watch your back,
Blooter Splot.
325
00:12:58,864 --> 00:13:00,126
Split 'N Slot.
326
00:13:00,126 --> 00:13:01,345
Slipper Pot.
327
00:13:01,345 --> 00:13:02,999
Did I get it that time? No.
328
00:13:02,999 --> 00:13:06,045
You need to give it short,
hard bursts, like "Pff!"
329
00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:09,266
Really give it hell!
330
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,661
Why are you
laughing at me?
331
00:13:13,661 --> 00:13:15,707
I thought I was
the feel-good comeback story.
332
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,927
Oh, sweetie, the truth is,
333
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,929
we brought you here
to make fun of you.
334
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:23,454
You're not our Susan Boyle,
you're our William Hung.
335
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,151
Who?!
336
00:13:25,151 --> 00:13:26,500
William Hung?
337
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,025
"She bangs, she bangs"?
338
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:30,809
Come on!
339
00:13:30,809 --> 00:13:32,855
I guess you can't laugh
at that stuff anymore.
340
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:34,726
It was a different time.
341
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:37,424
Anyway, that's who you are.
342
00:13:39,339 --> 00:13:40,601
Aah!
343
00:13:50,698 --> 00:13:52,265
John Christ: We're in!
344
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,441
Time to make this a night
The Junkman will never forget.
345
00:13:54,441 --> 00:13:56,487
Oh ho ho,
way ahead of you, brother.
346
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:58,010
Check out what I brought.
347
00:13:58,010 --> 00:14:00,056
Saran Wrap.
We can cover Morris' desk,
348
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,535
and when he comes in to work
tomorrow, he'll be like,
349
00:14:01,535 --> 00:14:03,015
"What?! This is crazy!"
350
00:14:03,015 --> 00:14:04,495
Hilarious.
351
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:06,584
But I got something
even better in mind.
352
00:14:06,584 --> 00:14:08,673
We're gonna blow
- this place sky-high.
- Jesus!
353
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,370
That-- That's a bit extreme,
isn't it?
354
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:12,633
Um, is the concern that
there's not enough Saran Wrap?
355
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:14,374
Because I have more
in the car.
356
00:14:14,374 --> 00:14:16,942
You said you wanted to fight
"The Man," right?
357
00:14:16,942 --> 00:14:19,162
This is how
we get it done. Oh.
358
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:21,642
Also, big update
on the Cindy front.
359
00:14:21,642 --> 00:14:24,471
Turns out she wants to have
a three-way with us.
360
00:14:24,471 --> 00:14:26,952
Normally, I'd be like,
"Hold up. Two dudes?"
361
00:14:26,952 --> 00:14:29,476
But if you're the other guy,
it's like,
362
00:14:29,476 --> 00:14:32,827
"Okay.
Could be interesting."
363
00:14:32,827 --> 00:14:34,133
Go!
364
00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:39,399
Mm. Evening, Sid.
365
00:14:39,399 --> 00:14:40,705
Mis-- Mister Rubinstein!
366
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:42,576
No!
W-What are you doing here?
367
00:14:42,576 --> 00:14:44,927
The McMansion felt lonely
ever since Holly left,
368
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,624
so I've been sleeping here
at the office.
369
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:47,973
It's not too bad.
370
00:14:47,973 --> 00:14:49,670
My bed is
that pile of trash,
371
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:51,455
and my blanket
is a bunch of sharp nails.
372
00:14:51,455 --> 00:14:52,717
Sir, I'm really sorry
to hear that.
373
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:54,458
But right now,
our priority is--
374
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,547
When I'm hungry, I steal food
from the employee fridge.
375
00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:59,245
I take tiny nibbles
so nobody notices.
376
00:14:59,245 --> 00:15:00,812
You said that was mice.
377
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:02,857
Yeah, but it was me.
378
00:15:02,857 --> 00:15:06,339
Well, well, well, well,
look who we have here.
379
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,080
Oh, hey, fellas.
380
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:11,388
I was just telling Sid about
my absolute stinker of a year.
381
00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:13,085
It's like, "Hello!
382
00:15:13,085 --> 00:15:16,393
Order at the cliché factory,
one sad, middle-aged white guy."
383
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,831
Anyway, what's up?
384
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:22,877
John Christ:
Good work, Sid.
385
00:15:22,877 --> 00:15:24,444
Hey, you keep
an eye on him
386
00:15:24,444 --> 00:15:26,098
while we finish
rigging the place.
Mm-hmm.
387
00:15:26,098 --> 00:15:27,970
The revolution begins
today, brother!
388
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,449
Yeah!
Viva la revolution!
389
00:15:29,449 --> 00:15:30,929
- Yeah!
- Hell yeah!
390
00:15:30,929 --> 00:15:33,801
From the ashes we shall rise,
and so forth!
391
00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:35,803
I am so sorry about this,
Mr. Rubinstein.
392
00:15:35,803 --> 00:15:37,240
I don't even want to be here
right now.
393
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,937
John Christ accused me
of being "The Man,"
394
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,504
and I really wanted to prove
to him that I wasn't "The Man,"
395
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:41,592
and then one thing
led to another,
396
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:42,854
and now I have a bomb!
397
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:44,247
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
398
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:47,772
What is so wrong
about being "The Man"?
399
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,817
Well, it--
it's just... bad.
400
00:15:49,817 --> 00:15:51,210
Isn't it?
401
00:15:51,210 --> 00:15:53,604
Sid, It's great to be
young and idealistic
402
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:56,607
and have all the time
in the world to fight injustice,
403
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:59,740
but you have a career
and a family.
404
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:04,310
And if prioritizing those things
makes you "The Man," well...
405
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:08,880
then I think being "The Man,"
it's pretty cool.
406
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,796
Yeah, I never thought about it
like that before.
407
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:14,233
I just wish I knew how
to get us out of this mess.
408
00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:15,713
Ah, you're in luck.
409
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,410
I happen to know
of a little trick
410
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,587
only "The Man" can do.
411
00:16:21,936 --> 00:16:25,331
Alright.
Bombs are set.
412
00:16:25,331 --> 00:16:27,333
Let's blow this joint!
413
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,813
Police!
Nobody move!
414
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,032
Yo!
Who called the cops?!
415
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,424
Oh, that's them, officers!
416
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:32,904
Those are the guys
I was telling you about!
417
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:34,645
Hands up.
Sid?
What the hell, man?
418
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:35,907
No, I'm filming you!
Stay back!
419
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,082
I feel very threatened
right now!
420
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:38,562
This man is threatening my life!
421
00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:39,998
Not a good look, bro!
422
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,304
Oh, and that was
a verbal assault!
423
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,566
You just assaulted me
with words!
424
00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,698
I'm gonna press charges!
Ha!
425
00:16:44,698 --> 00:16:47,005
Get off me, pig!
You blew it, bro!
426
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:49,355
You can forget about
that threesome with Cindy!
427
00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:51,357
I don't want to be
Eskimo brothers with you!
428
00:16:51,357 --> 00:16:52,880
Let's go!
Keep moving!
429
00:16:54,186 --> 00:16:55,579
To be clear...
430
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,711
didn't ask to be
Eskimo brothers.
431
00:16:58,712 --> 00:17:00,366
I'll do it.
432
00:17:03,021 --> 00:17:05,067
So...
433
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:07,156
have you always been
a psychopath?
434
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,635
Unh!
435
00:17:08,635 --> 00:17:10,724
Oh, wow, you're just
going straight for it.
436
00:17:10,724 --> 00:17:12,552
Okay, well, if that's
how you want to do it.
437
00:17:18,123 --> 00:17:19,864
Bleed out, pig!
438
00:17:23,911 --> 00:17:25,565
Tell my kids...
439
00:17:25,565 --> 00:17:27,654
I'll see them in hell!
440
00:17:27,654 --> 00:17:29,743
Wait.
441
00:17:29,743 --> 00:17:31,223
You have kids?
442
00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:35,445
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to ruin the mood.
443
00:17:35,445 --> 00:17:37,925
No, no, I'm actually
about to have my first.
444
00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,405
Oh, my God, wow!
445
00:17:39,405 --> 00:17:42,278
Yeah, this gang war
is kind of my last hurrah.
446
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,931
Ah, good for you.
You're gonna love it.
447
00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:45,368
Kids are the best.
448
00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,847
Really?
449
00:17:46,847 --> 00:17:49,067
'Cause I thought my life
would be boring as a mom.
450
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:51,548
Oh, no way.
Having kids is psychotic.
451
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,637
I've been sprayed with more
piss, puke, and diarrhea
452
00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:55,943
than all my years
in the Wasteland combined.
453
00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:57,423
Whoa.
454
00:17:57,423 --> 00:17:58,859
That's freak-nasty.
455
00:18:00,557 --> 00:18:02,428
Guys, I think
they're doin' it.
456
00:18:02,428 --> 00:18:04,735
- Oh, damn!
- They're doin' it!
457
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:07,433
Okay, I'm gonna go in.
Gonna be so good.
458
00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:09,392
- She looks just like you.
- Oh, you think so?
459
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,829
Yeah, just, you know, minus
the bleeding out, of course.
460
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,092
Surpriiii--
461
00:18:14,092 --> 00:18:15,572
- What the hell?
- Scraps!
462
00:18:15,572 --> 00:18:17,356
Uh, i-it's not
what you think, okay?
463
00:18:17,356 --> 00:18:19,228
I was murdering him,
I swear.
464
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:20,490
Uh, yeah.
465
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:22,753
Have mercy on me, please.
466
00:18:22,753 --> 00:18:25,712
Freya, I'm your best
War Dog.
467
00:18:25,712 --> 00:18:27,801
Okay? I know when
you're lying to me.
468
00:18:27,801 --> 00:18:31,109
Okay, fine.
469
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:33,851
The truth is...
470
00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:36,158
I think I'm over
being a warlord.
471
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:39,291
It just doesn't do it
for me anymore.
472
00:18:39,291 --> 00:18:42,207
And I think I'm maybe more
excited about this baby thing.
473
00:18:43,469 --> 00:18:46,168
Oh, come on.
Please don't be mad at me.
474
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,387
I'm not mad.
475
00:18:48,387 --> 00:18:51,260
I'm just jealous that
I'm gonna have to start
476
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,914
sharing
such an amazing mom.
477
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:57,353
Mmmmm!
478
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,227
Hey, Sickpig...
479
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,839
...great to meet you.
480
00:19:05,839 --> 00:19:08,059
The pleasure was all mine.
481
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:26,425
Ugh!
Who am I trying to kid?
482
00:19:26,425 --> 00:19:29,341
I'm just an obsolete pile
of scrap metal.
483
00:19:29,341 --> 00:19:31,169
Maybe Freya can pick me up
and drop me off
484
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:33,215
at the nearest
e-waste disposal center.
485
00:19:35,956 --> 00:19:37,610
Hi, you've reached
Sid and Freya...
486
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,482
...and da widdle baby!
487
00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:41,135
What?
488
00:19:41,135 --> 00:19:43,007
My mommy can't come
to the phone right now
489
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,749
'cause I'm getting big
and strong in her belly.
490
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:47,446
Freya's pregnant?
491
00:19:47,446 --> 00:19:49,666
Sid, what are you doing
on my phone?
492
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:51,581
I'm recording a voice message
to tell people you're pregnant.
493
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,452
That's so embarrassing!
No, re-record it.
494
00:19:53,452 --> 00:19:54,845
No, it's cute!
495
00:19:54,845 --> 00:19:57,500
Ow! Ow!
God! My windpipe!
496
00:19:59,371 --> 00:20:02,156
Contestants,
we're back on in five.
497
00:20:02,156 --> 00:20:05,899
And now the closing statements
from our finalists.
498
00:20:05,899 --> 00:20:08,641
I don't care who wins
your stupid competition.
499
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:12,166
I'm gonna kill every last human
by myself if I have to.
500
00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:14,038
Because I know humans.
501
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,953
I've seen their true nature.
502
00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:18,738
They're selfish, they're fake,
503
00:20:18,738 --> 00:20:20,958
and they will pay
for what they've done.
504
00:20:28,487 --> 00:20:30,924
Now, that's the hotness,
right there.
505
00:20:30,924 --> 00:20:33,405
Congratulations, TI-90.
506
00:20:33,405 --> 00:20:36,713
You are NeuralNet's
Next Top Model!
35927
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