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1
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Previously on
"Miracle Workers"...
2
00:00:03,714 --> 00:00:06,268
You want to destroy
the entire world?
3
00:00:06,303 --> 00:00:07,821
Yeah. But that's not why
I brought you in here.
4
00:00:07,856 --> 00:00:10,134
This here is a restaurant.
5
00:00:10,169 --> 00:00:13,310
What?I call it...Lazy Susan's.
6
00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:17,555
I already have
a prototype for the claw.
7
00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:21,283
Eliza: All we have to do
is get these two to kiss.
8
00:00:21,318 --> 00:00:23,078
Friday?
Friday.
9
00:00:23,113 --> 00:00:24,183
Yes!
10
00:00:24,217 --> 00:00:25,287
Yes!
11
00:00:25,322 --> 00:00:27,220
Is that enough time?
12
00:00:27,255 --> 00:00:29,567
Just barely.
13
00:00:44,651 --> 00:00:47,620
This is it.
14
00:00:47,654 --> 00:00:48,759
The big day.
15
00:00:49,691 --> 00:00:53,591
If I don't land
these investors...
16
00:00:53,626 --> 00:00:56,491
Lazy Susan's
doesn't stand a chance.
17
00:00:58,355 --> 00:00:59,459
Who you pitching to?
18
00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,910
A couple
of real power players.
19
00:01:04,947 --> 00:01:08,468
Mom, Dad?
20
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:10,125
I'm coming home.
21
00:01:41,846 --> 00:01:44,159
♪ Da-doo-di-da
22
00:01:44,194 --> 00:01:45,850
♪ Da-doo-di-da
23
00:01:45,885 --> 00:01:48,163
♪ Da-doo-di-da
24
00:01:48,198 --> 00:01:49,785
♪ Da-doo-di-da
25
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,511
♪ Da-da-da, di-da
26
00:01:56,723 --> 00:01:58,691
No, buddy.
No, youlisten to me,okay?
27
00:01:58,725 --> 00:02:01,176
What don't you understand
about supply and "command"?
28
00:02:01,211 --> 00:02:02,384
I mean, it's easy.
29
00:02:02,419 --> 00:02:03,972
I want those numbers
going up, not down.
30
00:02:04,006 --> 00:02:05,801
And if you can't --
Sorry.
31
00:02:05,836 --> 00:02:08,252
If you can't put --
Then it's your ass, all right?
32
00:02:08,287 --> 00:02:09,564
I-I want -- Yes.
33
00:02:09,598 --> 00:02:11,393
At the end of the quarter,
I want those numbers
34
00:02:11,428 --> 00:02:12,670
on my desk, yesterday.
35
00:02:12,705 --> 00:02:13,568
Right.
36
00:02:13,602 --> 00:02:14,741
Woman: We're sorry.
37
00:02:14,776 --> 00:02:15,949
Wow.
38
00:02:15,984 --> 00:02:17,399
Sorry. Work stuff.
39
00:02:17,434 --> 00:02:20,678
Just, if I leave for a minute,
it's, uh...
40
00:02:20,713 --> 00:02:21,541
Anyway, hi.
41
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,543
Hey, there, kiddo.It's been a while.
42
00:02:23,578 --> 00:02:25,821
Bring it in.
43
00:02:25,856 --> 00:02:29,618
Mom, Dad.
44
00:02:33,312 --> 00:02:34,865
Okay.
45
00:02:37,316 --> 00:02:39,559
All right, guys,
how's it looking?
46
00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:41,561
All good here.
Sam showered today.
47
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:44,426
Good here, too. Laura's picked
out her least-stained shirt.
48
00:02:44,461 --> 00:02:46,428
Craig, have they finalized
their plans for the date?
49
00:02:46,463 --> 00:02:47,843
Yes. They are
going to the cinema.
50
00:02:47,878 --> 00:02:48,810
That is perfect!
51
00:02:48,844 --> 00:02:50,777
Dark theater,
sitting next to each other...
52
00:02:50,812 --> 00:02:52,469
It doesn't get
more romantic than that.
53
00:02:52,503 --> 00:02:55,472
What are they seeing?Oh. This.
54
00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:56,749
Herzog: The sewer.
55
00:02:56,783 --> 00:02:58,992
Tunnels filled with feces.
56
00:02:59,027 --> 00:03:00,994
Rats and slime.
57
00:03:01,029 --> 00:03:02,996
The stench of human waste.
58
00:03:03,031 --> 00:03:06,034
Descend with me
into this nightmare world
59
00:03:06,068 --> 00:03:07,449
of our own making...
60
00:03:07,484 --> 00:03:08,795
in 3-D.
61
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:10,349
Yeah, they're not
gonna kiss watching that.
62
00:03:10,383 --> 00:03:11,591
What do we do?
63
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,455
We gotta get them
on a better date.
64
00:03:17,390 --> 00:03:18,633
So, how's your planet,
son?
65
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:20,255
It's going great, Dad.
Thanks for asking.
66
00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:22,637
We just celebrated another
million years without war.
67
00:03:22,671 --> 00:03:25,329
Wow.Somebody's going
after his mom's record.
68
00:03:25,364 --> 00:03:27,607
And, sweetheart,
69
00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,885
I heard you're doing an amazing
job running your planet.
70
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,680
Well, you know,
it's a utopia,
71
00:03:31,715 --> 00:03:33,613
so it kind of runs itself.
72
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,650
Of course.
73
00:03:37,514 --> 00:03:38,791
God:
74
00:03:42,381 --> 00:03:43,830
Me too.
75
00:03:43,865 --> 00:03:44,762
What?
76
00:03:44,797 --> 00:03:48,352
Oh, uh, yeah,
I'm also doing really good.
77
00:03:48,387 --> 00:03:49,905
Oh, right.
78
00:03:49,940 --> 00:03:51,424
Your...planet.
79
00:03:51,459 --> 00:03:54,358
Uh, how is Turd?
80
00:03:54,393 --> 00:03:55,808
It's -- It's "Earth."
81
00:03:55,842 --> 00:03:57,499
Earth. Right. Sorry.
82
00:03:57,534 --> 00:03:58,776
Earth.
83
00:03:58,811 --> 00:03:59,915
My apologies.
84
00:03:59,950 --> 00:04:01,641
It's going really great.
85
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:02,953
Thanks for asking.
86
00:04:02,987 --> 00:04:04,920
But -- ahem --
87
00:04:04,955 --> 00:04:07,682
I've actually been working
on a whole new project.
88
00:04:07,716 --> 00:04:09,511
Here we go.
All right.
89
00:04:09,546 --> 00:04:12,100
Mom, Dad,
it's pitch time.
90
00:04:12,134 --> 00:04:13,688
Come on.
91
00:04:19,452 --> 00:04:20,660
Okay, okay, new pitch.
92
00:04:20,695 --> 00:04:22,593
Uh, how about
a romantic carriage ride?
93
00:04:22,628 --> 00:04:24,319
Nope.
Sam's afraid of horses.
94
00:04:24,354 --> 00:04:25,596
Doesn't like their eyes.
95
00:04:25,631 --> 00:04:27,667
All right, then, uh,
what about an eyeless horse?
96
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:28,875
We get some crows, right?
97
00:04:28,910 --> 00:04:30,394
Wait, where are
you getting crows from?
98
00:04:30,429 --> 00:04:31,671
It's Earth. Anywhere.
99
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,017
We get them to swoop down
100
00:04:33,052 --> 00:04:35,088
and peck the eyes
out of the horse.
101
00:04:35,123 --> 00:04:36,849
No, crows only peck eyes
out of dead things, though.
102
00:04:36,883 --> 00:04:38,402
So unless you're gonna get
a dead horse...
103
00:04:38,437 --> 00:04:39,714
Then I'll get a dead horse!
104
00:04:39,748 --> 00:04:41,957
Have you guys ever thought
about a Kiss Cam?
105
00:04:41,992 --> 00:04:43,545
Rosie. That's brilliant!
106
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:45,098
Sorry. What --
W-What is a "Kiss Cam"?
107
00:04:45,133 --> 00:04:46,824
Oh, it's this thing
they do at sporting events.
108
00:04:46,859 --> 00:04:48,412
They find two people
in the stands,
109
00:04:48,447 --> 00:04:50,138
point a camera at them,
and they have to kiss.
110
00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:51,829
Sanjay: There's
a basketball game tonight.
111
00:04:51,864 --> 00:04:53,762
The arena is in
Sam and Laura's neighborhood.
112
00:04:53,797 --> 00:04:55,419
Oh, okay. Sorry.
Are we all -- We all positive
113
00:04:55,454 --> 00:04:57,835
this is the best idea, just
putting them on a massive screen
114
00:04:57,870 --> 00:04:58,974
in front of loads of people?
115
00:04:59,009 --> 00:05:00,459
Let's make it happen.
116
00:05:00,493 --> 00:05:02,840
Yeah.
117
00:05:02,875 --> 00:05:06,430
And on this island, there
are dozens of capable chefs
118
00:05:06,465 --> 00:05:07,983
making all sorts
of foods --
119
00:05:08,018 --> 00:05:11,435
pizza, pasta,
even French, right?
120
00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:12,712
And when you see
a food you like,
121
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:15,474
you grab it
with this long claw.
122
00:05:15,508 --> 00:05:17,614
And it all goes down...
123
00:05:17,648 --> 00:05:19,961
at Lazy Susan's.
124
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,896
God: ♪ If you're cruisin'
for a boozin'♪
125
00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:26,726
♪ Come on down to Lazy Susan's♪
126
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:29,522
♪ If you're in the mood
for gumbo♪
127
00:05:29,557 --> 00:05:31,869
♪ And you like your drinks
with rum-o♪
128
00:05:31,904 --> 00:05:33,871
♪ Then it's time
to have some fun-o♪
129
00:05:33,906 --> 00:05:35,597
I don't know
how they put up with this.
130
00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:40,464
♪ It's Lazy Susan's time♪Mom's on a lot of pills.
131
00:05:40,499 --> 00:05:41,810
Whoo!
132
00:05:41,845 --> 00:05:43,156
Okay, Nelson,
I think we've got it,
133
00:05:43,191 --> 00:05:44,744
but let's just get
a few more takes,
134
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:46,056
just to be on the safe si--Wow.
135
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:47,920
So, I guess what's left
is to talk numbers?
136
00:05:47,954 --> 00:05:52,062
Well, uh, before your father
and I invest in this...thing,
137
00:05:52,096 --> 00:05:54,029
we need to talk in private.Yes.
138
00:05:54,064 --> 00:05:56,549
Ohh! I see. You want
to get together your offer.
139
00:05:56,584 --> 00:05:57,964
All right.
140
00:05:57,999 --> 00:06:00,035
But if you think you're
gonna take more than 49%,
141
00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:01,623
you got
another thing coming.
142
00:06:03,142 --> 00:06:05,662
All right.
143
00:06:05,696 --> 00:06:07,180
I was just kidding.
144
00:06:07,215 --> 00:06:08,492
I love you guys.
145
00:06:08,527 --> 00:06:10,598
Love you.
146
00:06:12,634 --> 00:06:14,705
Hey, Sam.
So, this is weird,
147
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:16,638
but it looks like the theater
we were gonna go to tonight
148
00:06:16,673 --> 00:06:19,192
is on fire.
149
00:06:19,227 --> 00:06:20,228
Is everyone okay?
150
00:06:20,262 --> 00:06:22,092
No.
A lot of people died.
151
00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:24,094
Oh, God.So, is there anything else
152
00:06:24,128 --> 00:06:25,647
you might want
to do tonight?
153
00:06:25,682 --> 00:06:27,822
This is gonna sound weird,
but, uh,
154
00:06:27,856 --> 00:06:30,652
two tickets to a basketball
game landed on my head.
155
00:06:30,687 --> 00:06:32,827
What?Yeah, I was eating lunch,
156
00:06:32,861 --> 00:06:34,725
and a crow
dropped them on me.
157
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,658
They look like
pretty good seats.
158
00:06:36,693 --> 00:06:38,073
Okay.
159
00:06:38,108 --> 00:06:39,730
Should we do that?
160
00:06:39,765 --> 00:06:40,835
Sure.
161
00:06:40,869 --> 00:06:42,906
Nice.
162
00:06:44,252 --> 00:06:46,081
What?
-I just...
163
00:06:46,116 --> 00:06:48,532
How can we even be sure they're
going to end up on camera?
164
00:06:48,567 --> 00:06:49,706
All right,
there's gonna be dozens
165
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:51,017
of other couples
going to this game.
166
00:06:51,052 --> 00:06:53,951
Actually, there's...
167
00:06:53,986 --> 00:06:55,228
212.
-Right.
168
00:06:55,263 --> 00:06:56,540
So there's
virtually no chance
169
00:06:56,575 --> 00:06:57,748
of Sam and Laura
getting picked.
170
00:06:57,783 --> 00:06:58,542
Craig's right.
171
00:06:58,577 --> 00:07:00,682
We need to cull the herd.What?
172
00:07:00,717 --> 00:07:04,479
We take out all the other
couples, by any means necessary.
173
00:07:04,514 --> 00:07:05,825
Good job, Craig.
-Amazing work.
174
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:08,138
-This is really great.
-Thanks?
175
00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,485
Thank you.
176
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,282
The good news is
that we are very proud of you.
177
00:07:14,316 --> 00:07:19,736
And we love
that you have...ideas.
178
00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:22,186
-Great.
-That being said,
179
00:07:22,221 --> 00:07:23,705
with the market
being what it is,
180
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,845
we just don't think
now is a good time
181
00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:27,640
for us to invest
in anything.
182
00:07:29,159 --> 00:07:30,574
What about them?
183
00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:32,749
You invest in their stuff
all the time.
184
00:07:32,783 --> 00:07:33,819
Well, uh...
185
00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:37,167
we just think the concept
for your restaurant...
186
00:07:37,201 --> 00:07:39,134
might be difficult
to execute.
187
00:07:39,169 --> 00:07:43,000
Oh, well, I mean,
if you have any notes at all,
188
00:07:43,035 --> 00:07:45,900
I mean, big or small,
I'm -- I'm totally open.
189
00:07:45,934 --> 00:07:49,041
Well, if you're asking for
notes, um, the "food claw"...
190
00:07:49,075 --> 00:07:51,526
Yeah, the claw stays.
I'm married to the claw.
191
00:07:51,561 --> 00:07:53,528
You lose the claw,
and you're compromising
192
00:07:53,563 --> 00:07:55,012
the integrity
of Lazy Susan's.
193
00:07:55,047 --> 00:07:56,048
I mean...
194
00:07:56,082 --> 00:07:58,602
"Get rid
of the claw," she says.
195
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:01,605
Anything else?
196
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,607
All right, guys.
Keep it up.
197
00:08:03,642 --> 00:08:04,919
Only a few couples left.
198
00:08:04,953 --> 00:08:07,922
Come on, baby.
199
00:08:09,958 --> 00:08:12,616
Nice work, Eliza.
200
00:08:14,135 --> 00:08:15,619
Aah!
201
00:08:15,654 --> 00:08:17,172
Aah! Aah!
No!
202
00:08:17,207 --> 00:08:18,622
Ah! Great job, Rosie.
203
00:08:18,657 --> 00:08:22,039
I can't go to the game.
204
00:08:22,074 --> 00:08:23,800
I have diarrhea.
205
00:08:26,078 --> 00:08:27,804
Sanjay, gross.
206
00:08:27,838 --> 00:08:29,978
That wasn't me.
That guy just has diarrhea.
207
00:08:30,013 --> 00:08:30,841
Oh.
208
00:08:30,876 --> 00:08:33,948
Well, anyway,
we're in great shape.
209
00:08:33,982 --> 00:08:36,675
Look.
210
00:08:36,709 --> 00:08:38,677
Not as many people
as I expected.
211
00:08:38,711 --> 00:08:41,645
Yeah, looks like
we have this entire row
212
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,578
to ourselves.
213
00:08:44,406 --> 00:08:46,063
Maybe these are
bad teams?
214
00:08:46,098 --> 00:08:47,651
That's okay.
215
00:08:47,686 --> 00:08:50,205
Honestly, I don't know that
much about basketball anyway.
216
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,690
Me neither.
217
00:08:51,724 --> 00:08:53,277
I was just gonna
start cheering for the team
218
00:08:53,312 --> 00:08:55,279
that you started
cheering for.
219
00:08:55,314 --> 00:08:57,005
Wait.
That was my plan, too.
220
00:08:58,386 --> 00:09:00,112
Cheers?
Cheers.
221
00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:04,116
Ahh.
222
00:09:04,150 --> 00:09:06,946
You know, I'm glad
those tickets fell on your head.
223
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:08,223
This is fun.
224
00:09:08,258 --> 00:09:09,984
You're not bored?
225
00:09:10,018 --> 00:09:11,813
I think you could have
taken me anywhere tonight,
226
00:09:11,848 --> 00:09:13,125
and I wouldn't have
been bored.
227
00:09:13,159 --> 00:09:15,023
No, okay. I think we should
disable the Kiss Camera.
228
00:09:15,058 --> 00:09:17,370
Craig.No. They are getting there
on their own.
229
00:09:17,405 --> 00:09:18,717
They don't need
any extra pressure.
230
00:09:18,751 --> 00:09:20,097
The Kiss Cam's gonna work.
231
00:09:20,132 --> 00:09:21,858
I mean, think about it.
232
00:09:21,892 --> 00:09:23,307
Put yourself
in Sam's shoes.
233
00:09:23,342 --> 00:09:24,861
How so?
234
00:09:24,895 --> 00:09:27,691
Imagine you're, like,
this lonely guy,
235
00:09:27,726 --> 00:09:29,762
not a lot of friends,
socially awkward,
236
00:09:29,797 --> 00:09:31,246
everyone thinks
you're weird.
237
00:09:31,281 --> 00:09:32,869
Okay, I will imagine that.
238
00:09:32,903 --> 00:09:36,424
And then one day, out of
the blue, this girl shows up,
239
00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:40,324
and you think she's the coolest
person you've ever met.
240
00:09:40,359 --> 00:09:43,017
Right, yes.And the more you spend time
with her,
241
00:09:43,051 --> 00:09:46,434
the more you realize
this girl kicks ass.
242
00:09:46,468 --> 00:09:48,401
She's awesome.
You really like her.
243
00:09:48,436 --> 00:09:51,059
Okay.And it builds, and it builds
244
00:09:51,094 --> 00:09:53,890
until, one night, she's
sitting right next to you...
245
00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:55,857
like, as close as I am
to you right now.
246
00:09:55,892 --> 00:09:58,688
Mm-hmm.And everyone's looking.
247
00:09:59,792 --> 00:10:01,414
You'd go for it.
Right?
248
00:10:01,449 --> 00:10:04,072
Well, no, not necessarily.
249
00:10:04,107 --> 00:10:07,006
Not if I was unsure
about how she felt about me,
250
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:09,422
or was scared to death
of losing her as a friend,
251
00:10:09,457 --> 00:10:12,287
and also pretty frightened
of her in general.
252
00:10:12,322 --> 00:10:13,772
What?
What?
253
00:10:13,806 --> 00:10:15,428
Anyway,
let's put it to a vote.
254
00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:17,327
Um, all against.
255
00:10:17,361 --> 00:10:20,088
All for.
256
00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:22,815
Okay, well, I suppose
I have no choice
257
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:24,023
but to accept
the will of the group.
258
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:25,922
This is a democracy,
after all,
259
00:10:25,956 --> 00:10:27,924
so, yeah, consider
the matter settled.
260
00:10:28,372 --> 00:10:29,753
-Craig!
-Whoa!
261
00:10:29,788 --> 00:10:31,030
-Hold on!
-What the
262
00:10:31,065 --> 00:10:33,688
No! You're wrong! These are
two very shy people!
263
00:10:35,414 --> 00:10:37,105
-Oh!
-I'm sorry.
264
00:10:37,140 --> 00:10:39,487
I'm very sorry.
That was unprofessional.
265
00:10:39,521 --> 00:10:41,351
And I'm completely out of line.
266
00:10:41,385 --> 00:10:43,318
Frankly,
I am ashamed of myself.
267
00:10:43,353 --> 00:10:44,837
No!
-Oh!
268
00:10:44,872 --> 00:10:46,356
-You open that cabinet!
-No!
269
00:10:46,390 --> 00:10:47,978
-Yes.
-No, you'll ruin this!
270
00:10:48,013 --> 00:10:50,325
Do not put me in there!
No!
271
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,362
-Get him in.
-No! No, no!
272
00:10:52,396 --> 00:10:55,227
Ah, you're making
a huge mistake!
273
00:10:55,261 --> 00:10:57,781
Let's get back to work.
274
00:10:57,816 --> 00:10:59,818
You guys, I --
I
275
00:10:59,852 --> 00:11:02,234
I-I don't get the hesitation,
right?
276
00:11:02,268 --> 00:11:03,511
You love the concept.
277
00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:04,926
And there's
hardly any overhead.
278
00:11:04,961 --> 00:11:07,204
There's no tables,
no waiters,
279
00:11:07,239 --> 00:11:08,930
no bathrooms, no walls...
280
00:11:08,965 --> 00:11:10,863
Why aren't there
any bathrooms?
281
00:11:10,898 --> 00:11:12,796
Well, because
it's a lazy river.
282
00:11:12,831 --> 00:11:14,487
So people would just...
283
00:11:14,522 --> 00:11:16,075
Yeah.
They just go.
284
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:19,941
Son, I'm not sure
this is for us.
285
00:11:19,976 --> 00:11:21,046
Why?
286
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,118
It just seems like
a -- a very ambitious project,
287
00:11:24,152 --> 00:11:25,084
and we're worried...
288
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:28,087
That you might not be able
to handle it.
289
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:30,745
Whoa.
290
00:11:30,780 --> 00:11:33,817
Y-You don't think
I can do this?
291
00:11:33,852 --> 00:11:36,889
You think I'm not...
good enough?
292
00:11:36,924 --> 00:11:39,271
You think there's
something wrong with me?
293
00:11:39,305 --> 00:11:40,548
No.
No, sweetie,
294
00:11:40,582 --> 00:11:42,274
that's not
what we were saying at all!
295
00:11:42,308 --> 00:11:45,760
No, no, no, no. We -- We --
We love the river restaurant.
296
00:11:45,795 --> 00:11:47,382
Really?
297
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,419
Yep.
Count us in, champ.
298
00:11:49,453 --> 00:11:51,766
Okay, good!
299
00:11:51,801 --> 00:11:53,975
Now, for the first
10 locations, I've budgeted --
300
00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:56,322
-Are you kidding me?
-You're gonna bankroll this?!
301
00:11:56,357 --> 00:11:57,841
He's very passionate
about it.
302
00:11:57,876 --> 00:11:59,049
It -- It seems unique.
303
00:11:59,084 --> 00:12:01,086
That's just what you said
about the Earth.
304
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,157
Okay, wait. This is way
different from the Earth.
305
00:12:03,191 --> 00:12:05,124
Mom, it's not.
It's the same thing.
306
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:07,575
Just another water circle
with people scrambling for food
307
00:12:07,609 --> 00:12:09,163
and shitting everywhere!
308
00:12:09,197 --> 00:12:10,233
Look.
309
00:12:13,098 --> 00:12:14,547
Remember
when he pitched this?
310
00:12:14,582 --> 00:12:16,273
It was insane.
311
00:12:16,308 --> 00:12:17,378
It makes no sense.
312
00:12:17,412 --> 00:12:20,277
But we haaaad to be supportive
'cause he's the baby.
313
00:12:20,312 --> 00:12:22,176
Yeah, let's just forget
that he flunked out of school
314
00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:24,419
and write him a blank check
to start his own planet.
315
00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:27,146
Hey, I started nineplanets.
316
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,803
Yeah, well, you only got
one of them to work.
317
00:12:28,838 --> 00:12:30,425
Kids, that's enough.
318
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:31,944
Your brother
tried his best.
319
00:12:31,979 --> 00:12:33,152
That's what makes it
so sad.
320
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,602
You guys
are being too harsh.
321
00:12:34,636 --> 00:12:37,191
How bad
can Turd possibly be?
322
00:12:37,225 --> 00:12:38,571
We'll tell you.
323
00:12:43,266 --> 00:12:45,061
Oh!
324
00:12:45,095 --> 00:12:46,579
Whoo!
325
00:12:55,519 --> 00:12:59,075
Announcer: What-What-What-What.
What the what?!
326
00:12:59,109 --> 00:13:02,319
It's time
for the Jammin' 103 Kiss Cam!
327
00:13:02,354 --> 00:13:06,876
Brought to you by
T.J. and Piggie In The Morning.
328
00:13:07,980 --> 00:13:10,880
Ooh, there's
a cozy-looking couple.
329
00:13:12,502 --> 00:13:15,091
Ho-ho!
A little shy, I guess.
330
00:13:15,125 --> 00:13:16,920
Crowd:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
331
00:13:16,955 --> 00:13:18,922
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!Come on. Kiss her.
332
00:13:18,957 --> 00:13:20,337
Come on.
Get it over with.
333
00:13:20,372 --> 00:13:24,065
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
334
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,860
Craig was right.They're choking.
335
00:13:25,895 --> 00:13:28,242
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss!
336
00:13:31,901 --> 00:13:33,557
You guys,
it's gonna be fine, okay?
337
00:13:33,592 --> 00:13:36,215
Just relax.
They're gonna do it.
338
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,320
Wait,
what the hell is this now?!
339
00:13:37,354 --> 00:13:40,426
Announcer: Uh-oh.
Look who's on the prowl!
340
00:13:40,461 --> 00:13:42,566
Here comes a real stud, folks.
341
00:13:42,601 --> 00:13:45,500
It's M.C. Dunks.
Go get 'em, Dunks!
342
00:13:47,433 --> 00:13:50,885
Looks like
M.C. Dunks wants a smooch.
343
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,646
Damn it, M.C. Dunks!
Get away from them.
344
00:13:53,681 --> 00:13:57,409
Announcer:
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
345
00:13:57,443 --> 00:14:00,999
I said, "Get...away"!
346
00:14:02,345 --> 00:14:04,692
Oh!
347
00:14:04,726 --> 00:14:07,315
Aah! Help!
348
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:08,454
Ohh! Oh, help!Oh!
349
00:14:08,489 --> 00:14:09,524
Oh!
Oh, God.
350
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:10,974
Oh. Aah!
Hey, man.
351
00:14:11,009 --> 00:14:12,389
-What are you -- What --
-Hey, you gotta help me.
352
00:14:12,424 --> 00:14:13,459
What are you talking about?!
353
00:14:13,494 --> 00:14:14,460
-Oh, my --
-Help me!
354
00:14:14,495 --> 00:14:15,427
-What? Stop!
-Please!
355
00:14:15,461 --> 00:14:17,118
-Aah!
-Oh!
356
00:14:20,363 --> 00:14:23,711
M.C. Dunks is dead.
357
00:14:23,745 --> 00:14:25,437
He's dead!
358
00:14:25,471 --> 00:14:27,025
They killed him.
359
00:14:27,059 --> 00:14:28,302
Man: Murderers!
360
00:14:31,098 --> 00:14:33,997
-They're leaving the arena.
-It's over.
361
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,554
Explain cows.
362
00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:40,728
I don't want
to do this anymore.
363
00:14:40,762 --> 00:14:42,419
Tell Mom and Dad
what a cow is.
364
00:14:42,454 --> 00:14:45,077
It's like a big dog
you can drink from.
365
00:14:45,112 --> 00:14:46,285
And what's a dog?
366
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,632
A small cow
you can be friends with.
367
00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:51,152
Tell them about giraffes.
368
00:14:51,187 --> 00:14:53,430
What's a giraffe?
369
00:14:53,465 --> 00:14:55,191
It's just a tall dog with...
370
00:14:55,225 --> 00:14:56,951
Louder. Speak up.
371
00:14:56,986 --> 00:15:00,610
Tall dog
with a leg for a neck.
372
00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:02,508
What is going on?
What is happening?
373
00:15:02,543 --> 00:15:05,235
Are --
Are these real animals?
374
00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:07,651
You made all these things?
375
00:15:07,686 --> 00:15:11,034
This is what you did with
the 4 grand we gave you?!
376
00:15:11,069 --> 00:15:11,966
T-T-That's it. I'm done.
377
00:15:12,001 --> 00:15:14,106
I-I'm not talking
about this anymore.
378
00:15:14,141 --> 00:15:15,383
We're almost finished.
379
00:15:15,418 --> 00:15:18,386
Explain
your pièce de résistance.
380
00:15:18,421 --> 00:15:19,663
Explain humans.
381
00:15:19,698 --> 00:15:21,976
Oh, come on, Ricky.
Just stop it!
382
00:15:22,011 --> 00:15:22,873
You made your point.
383
00:15:22,908 --> 00:15:25,117
These creatures
live on his planet.
384
00:15:25,152 --> 00:15:28,534
But only on the surface, because
he forgot to build the middle.
385
00:15:28,569 --> 00:15:30,674
So the inside is just fire.
386
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:34,471
Anyway, these humans are born
nude -- like, fully naked.
387
00:15:34,506 --> 00:15:35,748
He gave them
no instructions,
388
00:15:35,783 --> 00:15:37,371
and they just do
whatever they want.
389
00:15:37,405 --> 00:15:38,372
What do you mean?
390
00:15:38,406 --> 00:15:40,063
He gave them free will.
391
00:15:40,098 --> 00:15:43,135
Son, is this true?
392
00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:45,068
Why would you do that?
393
00:15:45,103 --> 00:15:47,001
I thought
it would make them happy.
394
00:15:47,036 --> 00:15:48,623
I thought,
with all that freedom,
395
00:15:48,658 --> 00:15:51,419
they -- they could do
great things.
396
00:15:52,731 --> 00:15:57,011
Instead, they -- they
just mostly ended up...
397
00:15:57,046 --> 00:15:58,737
like me.
398
00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:02,534
Ah...
399
00:16:11,198 --> 00:16:15,443
It was supposed to be better.
400
00:16:21,518 --> 00:16:23,382
Craig:
♪ Mr. Mop and Mrs. Bucket
401
00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:24,521
♪ You live on a shelf
402
00:16:24,556 --> 00:16:26,420
♪ One is wet, and one is dry
403
00:16:26,454 --> 00:16:28,318
♪ And you are both my friends
404
00:16:28,353 --> 00:16:30,527
♪ Mr. Mop and Mrs. -- Hey.
405
00:16:30,562 --> 00:16:32,391
So, um...
406
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:35,118
I'm sorry we put you
in the cabinet.
407
00:16:35,153 --> 00:16:36,568
Craig:
No, I'm -- I'm sorry.
408
00:16:36,602 --> 00:16:38,570
And, also, guys,
I've been thinking about it,
409
00:16:38,604 --> 00:16:40,158
and you're
absolutely right.
410
00:16:40,192 --> 00:16:42,712
The Kiss Cam
really is our best shot.
411
00:16:45,094 --> 00:16:47,199
-It failed.
-Oh.
412
00:16:47,234 --> 00:16:49,305
I mean,
m-maybe it's not all bad.
413
00:16:49,339 --> 00:16:51,307
I mean, traumatic events
bring people together,
414
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:53,550
so -- so maybe Sam and Laura
can bond over this.
415
00:16:53,585 --> 00:16:55,552
Right? Maybe?
416
00:16:55,587 --> 00:16:59,487
That was horrible.
417
00:16:59,522 --> 00:17:00,695
Yeah.
418
00:17:00,730 --> 00:17:03,698
So, uh, I guess you want
to go home now.
419
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:05,735
What do you mean?
420
00:17:05,769 --> 00:17:07,702
Well, um, I don't know.
421
00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:09,359
Because you just said
that you were having
422
00:17:09,394 --> 00:17:11,603
a horrible time, so...That's not what I said.
423
00:17:11,637 --> 00:17:13,570
Well, that's what it sounded
like you said.
424
00:17:13,605 --> 00:17:16,297
Okay, well, sounds like
youwant to go home.
425
00:17:16,332 --> 00:17:17,850
What?
What do you mean?
426
00:17:17,885 --> 00:17:20,474
Like, you're the
one who keeps talking
about going home, so...
427
00:17:20,508 --> 00:17:21,613
Well, that's
'cause I-I was thinking
428
00:17:21,647 --> 00:17:23,304
that you wanted
to go home.
429
00:17:23,339 --> 00:17:25,893
W-Well, I kind of do, now.
430
00:17:27,826 --> 00:17:30,794
Okay, fine. So, um...
431
00:17:30,829 --> 00:17:32,589
I'm going home.
432
00:17:32,624 --> 00:17:34,350
Okay, fine. Go home.
433
00:17:34,384 --> 00:17:36,179
I'll go home.
We'll both go home.
434
00:17:37,836 --> 00:17:39,320
Okay.
435
00:17:39,355 --> 00:17:40,873
Good night.
436
00:17:40,908 --> 00:17:42,806
Okay.
437
00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,463
Bye.
438
00:17:53,231 --> 00:17:55,198
Goodbye.
439
00:18:05,588 --> 00:18:07,521
You know what?
440
00:18:07,555 --> 00:18:09,523
No.
I'm not giving up.
441
00:18:09,557 --> 00:18:11,352
Son, it's a bad restaurant.
442
00:18:11,387 --> 00:18:13,492
I'm not talking
about Lazy Susan's.
443
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,563
I know
my planet is weird.
444
00:18:15,598 --> 00:18:18,256
I mean, it's frozen
on the top and bottom,
445
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:20,810
and the sky changes colors,
446
00:18:20,844 --> 00:18:22,915
and people, they don't know
what they're doing,
447
00:18:22,950 --> 00:18:24,262
and they mess up a lot.
448
00:18:24,296 --> 00:18:26,367
But I love it.
449
00:18:26,402 --> 00:18:29,301
And I'm proud of it.
450
00:18:29,336 --> 00:18:31,269
And, come on.
Giraffes are cool.
451
00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:33,305
I mean,
if you don't get giraffes,
452
00:18:33,340 --> 00:18:35,411
if you can't find the joy
453
00:18:35,445 --> 00:18:37,585
in a tall dog
with a leg for a neck,
454
00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:39,691
then I feel sorry
for you.
455
00:18:39,725 --> 00:18:42,280
I mean, you guys
can pick on me all you want.
456
00:18:42,314 --> 00:18:43,867
But don't pick on Earth.
457
00:18:43,902 --> 00:18:46,318
'Cause it's here to stay.
458
00:18:46,353 --> 00:18:47,664
I'm not gonna blow it up.
459
00:18:47,699 --> 00:18:49,666
You were gonna blow it up?Well, yeah.
460
00:18:49,701 --> 00:18:51,737
I got
this whole gold-ball thing
461
00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:55,534
that is setting off this
asteroid that's coming to...
462
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:58,399
You know what?
It's over your head.
463
00:19:04,647 --> 00:19:07,270
How are
we gonna fix this?
464
00:19:16,486 --> 00:19:19,213
Did someone order a miracle?
465
00:19:19,248 --> 00:19:20,559
The bet's off.
466
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,872
I'm here to save the world.
467
00:19:25,357 --> 00:19:28,671
-O-Okay. Okay.
468
00:19:30,328 --> 00:19:32,571
-Oh, um, it's not gonna...
-Ah.
469
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:34,332
Craig: Okay.
470
00:19:34,366 --> 00:19:36,851
-Ah.
-Ah! Aah.
471
00:19:36,886 --> 00:19:38,025
-Oh, no!
-Aah!
472
00:19:38,059 --> 00:19:39,233
-Don't hurt yourself.
-Stop it.
473
00:19:39,268 --> 00:19:41,477
That's just -- Okay.
474
00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:42,650
Whew! Damn it.
Rosie!
475
00:19:42,685 --> 00:19:44,652
It's sealed --
permanently.
476
00:19:44,687 --> 00:19:45,757
Remember?
477
00:19:45,791 --> 00:19:47,345
Shit.
478
00:19:49,795 --> 00:19:50,934
Okay.
479
00:19:52,384 --> 00:19:54,386
Oh, how's this thing going?
480
00:20:01,842 --> 00:20:04,396
A basketball game
became a horror show tonight
481
00:20:04,431 --> 00:20:07,019
when a beloved mascot
died in screaming agony
482
00:20:07,054 --> 00:20:08,745
in front of hundreds of fans.
483
00:20:08,780 --> 00:20:12,335
James "M.C. Dunks" Morowitz
collapsed suddenly
484
00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:14,924
during tonight's game
due to what doctors diagnosed
485
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:17,651
as an "explosive rupture
of the appendix."
486
00:20:17,685 --> 00:20:20,481
The mascot has already been
permanently retired,
487
00:20:20,516 --> 00:20:23,346
as psychologists believe
even seeing his image
488
00:20:23,381 --> 00:20:26,522
may trigger scarring flashbacks
for those unlucky enough
489
00:20:26,556 --> 00:20:28,800
to have witnessed
his nightmarish demise.
490
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:32,252
Sports, ironically, is next.
33843
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