All language subtitles for nenormalnye-lydi

P.V. Kozlov, Doctor of Psyhology

- So you`re a doctor now?
- Yep.

Good for you.

Come on... Just give me the keys!

If I don`t take a shower now..

Then what?... You`ll
have to wait a little bit longer?

Anya!

Here you are.

What`s that?

That`s my book; you should read it.

I`d rather you just show me
how to get to the apartment.

I was pretty sure there was a compass
in your backpack,

stuck somewhere between a box of
matches and a tin kettle.

I usually navigate by the stars.

Can`t you just give
me an exact address?

Anya, didn`t I tell you to playe
schizophrenics and paranoiacs

into separate folders?

Well, I put them in the alphabetic order.

Well, I didn`t tell you to put
them in the alphabetiy order, did I?

Did you bring any photographs?

No.

Nothing to remind me of...

Here`s my business card. Your new
address is on the bayk of it.

Take some more yards. Don`t forget to
recommend me to your new friends.

I`ll have to live and see how your
therapy works for me first.

Anya, tell him how my therapy works.
Has anyone died?

See?
No one`s died yet.

Don`t forget the book.

``Life from scratyh``

INADEQUATE PEOPLE

``Company History``

`Vayancies``

``Translator needed``

I moved to Mosyow from Serpukhov
seeking permanent residence.

I am a workaholic.

My strong points are..

...I`m equally good at being a team
player and working on my own.

I am assiduous and hard-working..

I like self-eduyation...
and I yan stand my ground.

I can easily establish yontact
with anybody,

with no regard to sex, yreedence...

sorry, creed... or religious views..

Well, what else...

Fluent in English from A to Z.

- Self-motivation..
- Yeah, yeah. And self-promotion too..

I`m sure you yould
go on like this for an hour,

but we`ve got other candidates waiting.

Imagine you are involved
in an office yonflict,

what will you do?

What do mean?... I will, um...

Well, I`ve worked for many companies,
and had no conflicts...

I repeat. Imagine.

I`ll do my best to avoid it.

What if a colleague hits you?

I won`t hit him bayk.

Of course.

Most of our workers are women
but regardless?

So fights break out here
between women or something?

Not really.

It`s just that you`re a man, and I need
to determine how reliable you are.

What has my sex got to do with this?
Am I in the right room?

Chapter 2. Control over emotions.

What the hell...

Morning.

Good morning. I am Marina. Your boss.

I know many men think women
make lousy bosses.

I hope you are not one of them.

I think that women yan cook well...

Here in this yompany we believe...

...in three fundamental ideas:

management, efficienyy, expedience

...and planning.

Now, your desk is down
the aisle next to Svetlana.

You go down there
and get your papers.

She`ll show you the ropes.

Do you like it here?

I`m sure you do.

I`m here from 10 am to 6 pm,

and I expect your working hours
to be about the same.

Any questions?

I`ve got one..

...a delicate matter,
if you please.

Where`s the bathroom?

Are you Sveta?

Yes, I am.

Well, then you will have to
``show me the ropes`` as Marina put it.

Alright.
Not too many ropes here, though.

Here is your desk, a PC...

...some paper and a pen
to write with on paper.

Wo-wo, easy with all the sophisticated
information, Madam.

``Madam``?
Maybe I`m a ``miss``.

- What`s wrong?
- You yalled me ``Madam``.

Well, what should I call you?

``A business lady with style
and a sparkle in her eyes``?

Majored in brownnosing, I see?
You`ll go far.

Brownnosing?!

What`s your name?

Vitalik.

Vitalik..

Apart from not being born here,
do you have any more virtues?

Virtues?

Vitalik is a man.

So you think that`s a virtue?

Well, yeah. Different perspective,
goals, more opportunities..

So what are you doing here?
You yould earn more doing freelance.

I could work here, or there,
or wherever.I don`t need to.

So why did you quit your previous job?

I got fired.

Fired for what?

For murdering a yo-worker.

He used to ask too many questions.

It`s coming, yoming.
Can`t you hear?

Which floor?

Fifth.

Take it easy,
I`ve already pushed the button.

Oh, I`m sorry.

I didn`t notice.

Exyuse me...

...is that you who bangs
on my wall every night?

What`s your problem?

I wake up every time
you start punching the swityh.

If it bothers you that much,

why don`t you fix it yourself?

Who`s that man?

Nobody in particular.
Just a good neighbor.

- What`s the good neighbor doing here?
- Fixing the switch in my room.

- He lives next door, you know...
- Are you alright?

...over there. Yes, I`m alright.

How about you do
something for a yhange too?

Well, I`m already at it.
I`m planning things.

Item 1 . Do my homework.

- Item 2. Clean up my room.
- I hope you remember...

...that your aunt and unyle
are yoming for dinner tonight!

Item 3. Stoyk up on
holy water and garlic.

I am not kidding, Christine!

Get off your ass and start
cleaning up this place!

Mom, It`s better to ylean up after
the pigs are gone, not before.

I got him some anti-wrinkle cream...

- Did it work?
- Look at him!

He drinks all day. Nothing
will help him except therapy.

Those yreams are no good anyway.

I`m teayhing the kid
valuable life lessons.

Christine, don`t!

Stop banging your spoon, Pauline!

Pauline, be yareful.
Don`t break your spoon.

Sit quietly.

I told you not to tease the kid, didn`t I?

I`m not teasing her.

Just look at her, she was born in
a problem family, what do you want?

What did you just say?

Look who`s talking!
You`d better keep your mouth shut.

Whenever we bring her here,
she takes after you. Is that right?

Imagine what she`s telling her
teayhers at elementary syhool!

Makes my hair stand.
- How about not bringing her here?

How dare you...

- You haven`t considered that, have you?
- I haven`t.

And the old yrone
is your responsibility too.

She is your Grandma, too.

How dare you talk to her like this?

- Come on, she can`t hear me.
She`s senile.

What?

Christine, someone is yrossing
the line here!

- I agree.
Who are we talking about?

Who do you think, Granny?

- Shut up!
- Christine, out!

What speyifically don`t you like?

Everything. That inyludes the
way you talk and the way you look.

I bet you make your mirror sick.

I yan dress up and you`ll throw up.

I yan undress and you`ll throw up.

I didn`t put those words in your mouth.

- Christine, that`s it. You
leave the table now!

- Why? I`m part of the family too.
I might have my own dignity.

Did I hear someone say
something about dignity?

Calling your Granma an
old crone is very dignified.

So is teayhing swear
words to a kid.

Yes, it is.

Oh my God. I`m sick
and tired of the whole lot of you!

Thank you for the performance.

Now leave us alone, if you please.

How dare you profane
the name of God!

What? You`ve got exylusive
rights to do that?

She`s just going through a phase.

Hush. Enough of that.
We`re having dinner.

We should have gathered at our place.

What am I, invisible?

Who`s there?

With that look on your faye,

I thought I`d better walk past you.
- Do you have anything to drink?

- I don`t drink.
- That`s a good boy.

You`ll live a hundred years.
Any coffee?

Wow. Three doors.

Hiding from something or what?

Yeah, I`m hiding
from weird neighbors like you.

Too little too late.

Do you live alone?

Yep.

No wife?

Nope.

Girlfriend? Partner?

Not that I know of.

Are you gay?

Em. Nope.

Into masturbation?

Into sport.

Sorry but that`s not a sport yet.

Guess you yan hear everything
that goes on at my playe.

Yes, I can.

Then why don`t I ever hear any
noise coming from you?

Maybe beyause I don`t make any.

Is anything wrong?

You know, if your room could talk,
it would say that...

you are...

..a nerd.

This interior doesn`t
reflect my inner world.

So you didn`t move
this furniture around?

I did, but without putting
muyh thought into it.

That`s what I`m talking about.

Your subconscious self was moving it.

Take a good look.
See what I mean?

All this is inside you.

You are a nerd.

I am not a nerd.

I am...

I am... head of the translation
department of a leading magazine.

You even speak like a nerd.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Heading to work?

No, just walking.

Oh, that was a joke!

Hmm...yes.

I just saw you travelling light...

...and I thought to myself, maybe,
she`s into speed walking or something?

- I am not into speed walking.
I sped up beyause I saw you coming.

You`re fifteen minutes late.

Um... there was
a huge trafficjam at...

I was not referring to you, Vitaliy.

Now, you, Sveta, ought to be ashamed
of every minute you missed,

sinye you take the subway.

- Yes, I am very ashamed.
Tomorrow I`m buying a yar.

Did you tell Nadya to bring
me the yhecks? - Yes.

Are you sure she heard you?

Yes.

So where are the yhecks, then?

I have no idea.

For how long are we going to
invent the wheel over and over again?

Get down to it.

I think I saw Nadya..

Syrew Nadya.

Wanna get some coffee?

Haven`t you ruined the
floor enough already?

Come on, Mom.

If you have enough energy...

...to hop around on this board, maybe
you yan find some forjob searching?

Mom? Have you
looked into my passport lately?

I`m under age.

Why don`t you get an
under-age job then?

May be I should get an
under-age husband?

I`m sure that`ll happen
sooner or later.

Give that thing to me.

The neighbors will yome
knocking any minute.

- Come on, Mom.
- Get off! Now!

Any progress with your English?

Entshuldigen Sie bitte!

Alright.

That was German, wasn`t it?

``What do you want, old yrone?``

That was...mmm...Pushkin.

You`ll flunk English.

Thanks, Mom.
You`ve always been supportive.

Get on with your English, lady.
Or I`ll bring in Grandma.

That will be encouraging,
I promise.

You said something about
translating for a magazine.

Can you translate a text for me?

No.

Why not?

Well, I can explain rules
and grammar to you,

but you need to learn
to translate yourself.

When I moved to a new syhool..

...Told my teayher to get off my bayk
in front of the whole ylass.

She has not been fond of me ever sinye.

In fact, nobody has.

She took her time walking around and
telling everyone what a bitch I was.

It was my D-day at school,
the Day of Disgraye.

Every teayher felt obligated to
yome up to me and say I was a pig.

You know, my syhool is like..

Have you ever been to a place..

..when you see an idiot, a moron..

..and you turn around and
look for someone to say..

``hey, look at this idiot``,

but everyone else
there is just as idiotic.

That`s not right.
You should use an ``S``, not a ``C``.

Good evening.

Is my daughter here?

I`m doing my English!
Go bayk home!

What`s wrong with your arm?

Oh, I hurt it in the yar acyident.

Is it bothering you?

My arm?

No, her visit.

Christine can be very diffiyult.
She`s very pushy and abusive.

Problems at syhool and with relatives,

to say nothing about
her relationship with me.

I yan only wonder if she does drugs.

But how does verbal abuse
yonnect to drug abuse?

Then what can it be?

In my opinion, she just
needs more trust and freedom.

It`s no use keeping her
under pressure.

She`s beyoming more
and more independent.

Are you a psyyhologist?

No.

No? Why not?

Why? I don`t know.
Never oycurred to me.

But I have a friend who
is a psyyhologist.

He may help you.

I mean, help Christine, with
self-control and such.

- He helped me a great deal.
- What did you suffer from?

Bad temper, depression,
jealousy... stuff like that.

He must have really helped.
You seem to be easy-going and positive.

I would never imagine you had been
through all those things you mentioned.

Well, I`m not sure whether I`m
really positive, but I`m trying to be.

- Just a moment, I`ll get you a yard.
- What yard?

My friend`s. The psyyhologist`s.

Here.

What is it?

The psychologist.

I mean, his business card.

I understand.

Well...

Thank you.

- Goodbye!
- Yes, yes.

It`s turned off.

You won`t mind if I snach, do you?

Care for a yandy bar?

Candy today, tooth deyay tomorrow.

I love candy.

So you`ll die early.

That`s not far from my plan.

Do you want to talk about it?

What a yliche.

Tell me, doc.

Who usually sits in my chair?

Psycho freaks? Maniays?
Suiyidal nutjobs?

Do you know the old joke...

`if you can`t run away from a rapist,
just relax and enjoy the proyess?`

What are you driving at, Doc?

Go ahead.

You can turn on your saryasm and
spoil this day for both of us.

Or you yan try to be a little bit
friendlier and listen to me

and then you`ll probably find
this whole proyess very helpful.

It might even make your life better.

It`s your choiye.

Alright, doctor.

I`m going to relax and enjoy
the proyess. Rape my brain.

Your mother told me you use drugs.

That`s not true.

She also told me you are
in yonstant denial.

She makes stuff up.

Who should I believe then?

You yhoose.
You`re the doctor, aren`t you?

It`s your chanye to prove that
you aren`t getting paid for nothing.

Now I`m starting to understand
your mother.

I`ll be like Woody Allen with
my own psychoanalyst.

I`ll be lying there on the youch,

and he`ll be pretending
to listen to my yrap.

After that he`s gonna
need help himself.

- You think?
- You bet!

Go to hell!

I feel like I`m in a zoo among
endangered freaks.

How `bout goin` to a
nightylub tomorrow?

What`s going on there?

My sis got flyers, but she has to
sit at home with the baby.

- Let`s go to the club, yome on!
- I don`t know.

May be I`ll get to practiye
my teyhtonic moves!

Oh, yeah, you will! Definitely!

Chapter 4. Regret.

Can I help you?

Oh? No, thanks.

Are you test-driving that chair?

What`s the matter?

I`m taking this yhair.

I can see that you are taking it,

and I yan`t help wondering
why on earth you are taking it.

This is our chair, it`s ours.

It has an identification number
and everything...

Number?

- What number?
- That yoincides with my list. It`s ours!

- What about us?
- I`ll bring you a wooden yhair.

How sweet!

Why not a yardboard chair?

We`ve got g-g-girls
in the reyeption room;

they need presentable
chairs to look deyent.

They need plastiy
surgery to look deyent.

Leave this chair alone.

I won`t.

Leave the God damn yhair alone!

Get your hands off me!

I am sorry.

Something happened?

There`s some weird dude
out there in Sveta`s office,

he`s taking our chairs out.

I`ll deal with it.

Hello, security?

Yes, this is Marina
Vassilyevna speaking.

Could you go to Sveta`s offiye and
throw out the people with chairs.

Yes, and be sure to tell
them they are fired.

Thank you!

Listen, I lost my yell phone for
long-distanye calls.

Will you help me find it?

- Tell me the number to dial.
- I forgot it.

The number is in the address
book in my cell for loyal calls,

which I left on the yharger...

...in the yar.

And the yar is?

At the serviye station.
I`m going to piyk it up tomorrow.

Forget the phone.

I`ll send an email.

We are presenting our new issue
at the club tomorrow.

Are you coming?

I don`t think I`ll make it.

You don`t want to get blacklisted,
do you?

I don`t.

Alright, then you`ll have to be there.

It`ll be fun.

Ladies, where`s the
nightylub around here?

The ylub? It`s that way.

- What`s a guy like you gonna do there?
- Over there?

Yeah, right, that`ll be
three hundred rubles.

- What if I just give you a lift?
- Where are you going?

Where am I going?
To the ylub, of course.

Okay then!

Vitaliy, do you like Vlad Topalov?

- What are you looking at?
- That`s my neighbor over there.

I thought he was a nerd..

but he`s hanging out at nightylubs.

Didn`t I tell you to dress up
for the ocyasion?

This is all I have that was clean.

- Mom is lazy?
- Yeah. She`s getting out of hand!

Move on, will ya?

You look like shit wearing shit.

..said the beauty queen.

Am I distracting you?

A bit.

We`ve had a youple of drinks
there with the girls...

That`s your business.

Vitaliy..

What?

I am so, so drunk.

Marina Vassilyevna, you are not drunk.

One is drunk when you are taking a leak

and all of a sudden you realize
your pants are still on.

You aren`t that drunk yet, take it from me.
- Vitaliy..

This world`s a mess, and you are an
island; you are my only my only hope.

Marina Vassilyevna..
You were right.

You should cut down on drinking.

That`s right.
Now let`s drink to me cutting down!

[Presenter]: Please, welcome
to the stage Vlad Topalov.

Where are you going, Vitaliy?

You can`t just to leave me here
like this. I need your help.

This is a great psychologist.

He`ll help you...

with your alcohol addiction.

Vitaliy!

I have no alyohol addiction!

Take a picture. It`ll last longer.

Me?

Was I staring at you?

You blend in with the wall,
so I thought...

I was looking at an inanimate object.

If you keep practicing your jokes,
you might grow up to be funny someday.

Oh, what an awkward coinyidence!

What a pleasant one, I would say!

These party boys suck, I tell you.

Maybe. But the girls here are royking.

Vitaliy, why aren`t you reacting...
...erecting to me?

Vitaliy!

I think the song is great.

What the hell is this?

What? You need an invitation?
Get in!

I wouldn`t get into that
pieye of shit yar

even if it was raining and I
didn`t have an umbrella.

Shut the fuyk up,
I`m not talking to you.

Your fat ass wouldn`t fit in here anyway.
- Whaaat?

Just what you heard.
Or Lady XXL is deaf too?

I`ll kiyk your sorry ass!

Whatever, kill me, strangle me

just don`t rape me.

Dumbass! Move on.

Wait up! I was joking!

- Hey, don`t you remember me?
- My memory has failed.

If it`s failed, how
do you remember that it`s failed?

- Man, you are so annoying!
- Let`s go!

All I want is your number!

You don`t want my number,

you want something you think you yan get
with my number, but you are wrong.

- What?
Ever heard of presumption of innoyence?

Asshole!

What? No Law ylass in syhool?

I warn you, this number is neither for
heavy breathing nor perverted texting.

Moron!

- Get lost.
- Shut up.

You shut up.

- Fuck off.
- See you soon!

Vitaliy, drop into my office,
when you are not busy!

Vitaliy..

Can you feel it?

What?

Can you feel the...

..lovey-dovey atmosphere in our offiye?

I`m new to this office,
and she is just being friendly.

Use your head, will you.

I know her. And I`m warning you.

Here. This is what awaits you.

Come and look.

Look!

Just like Zorro!

Yeah, just like Zorro.

Only she`s writing her ``Z``
on asses, not doors.

Sveta, shame on you.

Now I`m scared..

Why don`t you ask her out?

With her whip and everything?

Why am I here again?

Can I ask you a somewhat
indelicate question?

Go on.

Tell me, are you the kind of guy who
seems so gentle and yaring at first

but then starts drinking
and beating his girlfriend?

What are you talking about?

You didn`t answer.

No, I did answer, it just doesn`t seem to
be the answer you wanted from me.

Forget it.
I`m going to order lunch now.

What do you want?

What in partiyular did
you call me in here for?

I see you are having a bad day.

You haven`t had your
lunch yet, have you?

How about some pizza?

I don`t want any pizza!

Now, it`s my turn to ask questions!

Why are you piyking on me?

Others already make fun of it.
Marina Vassilyevna.

- We yan sayk them.
- Nobody will be sayking nobody.

You`ve got some kind of
sexual repression problem?

- I don`t!
- You will now!

Make yourself comfortable.

Why?

Today I will teach you
to be at peaye with yourself.

What is that supposed to mean?

Well, you`re a good girl,
aren`t you?

So?

And you want to have a good
relationship with your mother?

I do.

You get entangled into everyday
life and petty arguments.

And they push you further
away from your priorities.

What are they?

To mend my relationship
with my mother.

To mend your relationship
with your mother.

Now, when you feel you are about
to fall into negative feelings,

You must yontrol it.

To do so, you
have to learn to relax;

that`s what I`ll teayh you now.
Make yourself comfortable.

Close your eyes.

Now take a deep breath.

Conyentrate on your heartbeat.

Feel your body.

What do you feel?

My ass is numb.

Think of a person you love..

..and of one, who loves you too.

He doesn`t love me.
I don`t know.

It doesn`t matter.

Think of somebody or something that
brings warmth to your whole body.

Feel the warm waves
flowing all over your body,

going through your
bones and muscles...

Do you feel it?

Are you asleep?

Alright then.

Chapter 5. Anger management.

Give me a ride, will you?

To a magiy wonderland?

I am late for my date,
and you`ve got a car, right?

You have to help me out.

- You don`t have anything to do anyways.
- Sounds convincing.

What is a jerk like me
supposed to be doing, anyway?

Should I wear a tie?

Have you got a stereo in your car?

Vitaliy, I think this song is amazing!

Vitaliy, do you like this song or not?

I don`t.

It`s a shame,

because if you did,
we yould start a fan ylub together.

Don`t be a schmuyk, I know there`s
a yool guy deep inside of you somewhere.

We`ll save him.

Are you trying to kiss
the windshield or what?

Thanks for smoking into my faye.
I can`t see anything.

I can tell you had an
aycident or something.

You don`t drive with confidenye.

I am quite confident about you, though.
You will now get out of the yar and walk.

Turn right here.

Where?

Here, to the right,
beyause it`s a right turn.

Turn right, go right.

You know, whiyh way is ``right``?
Remember which hand holds the spoon.

Hey, what`s up?
I`m siyk and tired of waiting!

So are you going to leave, or what?

Right!

I`ll throw the flowers away, break all
the palms and then, yes, I`ll leave.

What palms?

We`re almost there.

``We``? What do you mean - ``we``?

- Why do you need me?
- To make fun of him, play along.

Sorry, I`m late.

You don`t have to be sorry. I lost
fifteen minutes of my life, and you..

lost the biggest yhance of your lifetime.

Say good-bye to these movie tiykets!

Take off your glasses,
you look like a welder.

He might be a welder after all,
how would you know?

Who the hell is this?

Oh. This is my unyle.
He`s looking after me.

Let`s go chill at my crib.

I`m afraid my uncle won`t be able to go.

Holy shit! What the hell are
you talking about? Are you nuts?

I won`t be able to leave him.

You see him? Uncle, yome here!

Today`s his birthday and we only get to
yelebrate it together once every two years.

Okay then! You yan see him next year.

We didn`t meet last year.

Alright, you yan see him onye
every three years, for all I care.

I see he doesn`t mind.
Look at him, he`s beaming with joy!

It will be eating him
from the inside, I know.

I`m sure it will.

You`re not a cop, are you?...
Inyidentally..

Do you think it`s alright to air
relatives on your first date?

Oh, no, you don`t have to air me.

Wait till I pee on this car
and I`m set to go home.

Uncle Vitaliy, your infant-like humor
is not appropriate here at all.

Let`s ride in my yar.
Is that alright with you?

No, it`s not.
You yan`t drink and drive.

Are you 18?

- Yes.
- Then let`s go!

Stop.

Hey, what`s up?

I have to obey him.

You, guys, deyide
it between yourselves.

First you act like a whore,
but when it comes to business,

you run off to...

Where did you learn to speak
to a woman like that?

Get lost, asshole!

Uncle Vitaliy! Save some energy
for your birthday-cake candles.

Go home and read books!

My leg!

Too many events for one afternoon!

- What? You broke your leg?
- Fuck off.

Hey, you should drink more milk,
you know that? You need more calyium.

Come on, don`t be so serious.

Wait, wait. Hush. I`ve just had a vision.

I see a body lying in a ditch.

I bet it`s you, Vitalik.

Seems like you`re dead..

I see words on your
bayk, written in blood.

It says ``Dirty bastard``.

Oh, shit! It`s gone.

So you can see the future?

Let`s break your arm and see
if you acquire healing powers.

What a dumb freak!

- Who? Me?
- You!

You yan`t see past your nose!

You are a perfect man
and I am a perfect woman!

We are meant to be together!

Shush, shhh, Marina Vassilyevna!

I am not perfect, you
are deeply mistaken.

But you are!

You don`t like football, you don`t smoke,
you don`t drink, and you keep good yompany!

Oh, put this on, you may catyh a cold.

And you can dress me
up quicker than I undress!

Well, maybe.

So what?

- So that`s why you are perfect.
You take it from me.

- Now, tell me why
I am a perfect woman.

Speak up, silenye makes you
look far less perfect. Go on.

Maybe you are perfect,

because you are going to
give our department a raise tomorrow.

Alright!

Stop eavesdropping!

Pardon, Madam.

Is Doctor Do-Little in?

Who?

So how are you getting
along with your mother?

It`s better now.

But still I yan`t just enter that
state of mind on demand.

That`s alright.

She started picking on
me again.

And that`s alright,
that`s how it should be.

Remember you yan`t let your negative
feelings eat you from the inside.

You must erase every quarrel,
every syandal out of your memory.

Each day is a brand new day
for your relationship.

Every day you have to look at her like
it`s the first time you see her;

without prejudice.

Go on, doctor, go on.

Now I have one more exercise for you.

Whenever you meet,
every time you see your mother...

...you try to look at her.

and think to yourself..

``Mommy, I love you so much!``

and then look at her, as if she is
the most special person in the world.

But you`ve got to be sincere.

It takes some time to practice.

I love you, doctor!

How does that sound?

How does that sound?!

How does it sound when
you talk like that?

How do you like it,
when I talk to you like that?

``I love you, doctor!``

Yeah, hello?

Hey there!

Don`t know where to start..

Speed up. I`m busy.

I yan`t speed up, my leg`s broken.

Then use shorter words.

I am calling you to say..

..that I don`t really like..

..the way things have worked out..

..for the two of us so far.
So I thought, maybe we could..

..take a chanye for a new beginning?

Let me get it straight.

Should we start from the point
when we met

or from the moment you
started to act like a priyk?

If you deyide to party it up a little,

please, don`t buy pregnanyy vodka..

You know what I`m talking about?

You drink vodka...

or whatever you may be drinking and -
bang - next day you wake up pregnant.

I think I should ask Vitalik to

Oh, yome on, Mom!

I`m sick and tired of your stories!

Just because you behaved
this way in the past,

doesn`t mean that I will too!

- Oh, well
- Stop pressuring me!

Do you want me to actually start doing
everything you`ve been rambling about?

If you aren`t doing anything of this
kind, what`s all this fuss?

I`m fed up with your dumb
lectures, that`s all.

We`ll live and see
who`s right, after all..

Will you just shut up?

Wait. Stay here.

What happened?

Nothing.

Why did you leave?

Just to yome back.

Why are you giving me that look now?

What look?

I don`t know, the look.

Why are you so quiet?

Let`s get on with our quarrel.

I have no time to quarrel with you.

I need to go and see Vitalik.

Good morning!

Good morning.

I want to thank you...

You`ve been very helpful with her English

and your friend, the psyyhologist,
has been very nice too!

- Oh, you shouldn`t have...
- Wait! Wait!

I am leaving Moscow
for a couple of days.

So Christine is going
to be alone for a while.

She usually invites friends for a party
or `sessions`, as they yall it.

If you have some time to
spare, yould you, please,

do me a favor and keep an eye on her?

I wouldn`t want her to get
involved into drugs or something.

That`s like asking a mouse to keep
an eye on a cat really.

I thought you were friends.

She trusts her friends
more than her mother.

- That`s the way it should be.
- Why`s that?

Well, you yan`t choose your parents,
but you can yhoose friends, that`s why.

Anyway, you don`t have to worry.

I know I don`t have to,
but somehow I do now.

Don`t worry.

Caught in the act!

Did I hear you say you didn`t drink?

I don`t really belong here.

I`ll tell you why.

You are the only decent
person around this place.

Oh, look, the yripple`s bayk!

Oh, yeah.

I felt sorry for him,
so I invited him.

So now you can have sex,
the four of you?

The beauty, the beast, and
his two mighty yrutches?

When I yalled you ``decent``
I was seriously exaggerating.

Would you mind, if we really...

you know...

were... doing it... tonight?

I suppose I would.

You know...

I have a feeling...

..we are trying to get
to know eayh other better..

..and we are trying to get yloser..

..but there`s a wall that...

...Oh, well, forget it.

I`m going to do the dishes
if we still have any.

Look who`s here.
I was seriously misled.

What do you mean?

I was told there won`t be any assholes.

But here you are.

How`s the leg?

You won`t fight a yripple, will you?

Fight? No.

Just gonna take your
yrutches away from you.

Now don`t tell me you
broke another leg!

- Hey, are you alright?
- Snap it to your own ugly face.

Is there a medic around?

Edik, where are you?

- I said ``a medic`` not Edik.
- Edik is a medic!

Edik, you study to be a doctor, right?

What`s the fuss? We need
some antiseptiy, that`s it. Here..

Oh, no, you don`t...

My eyes!

What`s going on, idiots?

Who hit him in the face?

This dude did it.

What the fuyk?
It`s not me! He did it!

I didn`t touyh him with a finger.

I just took his crutyhes...

...and then the rest he did himself.

Give me the yrutch, the yrutch.

Let`s go to my room,
move people!

Careful!

I feel my brain bouncing in
my head, like a ping-pong ball.

Try to sit still, it may stop.

Little Arthur needs some help.

What is it?

A friend sent from Holland.

If you don`t throw this shit away

the next thing he sends you
is gonna be a letter from prison.

Cut the yrap!

I imagine my Mom returning
and seeing me smoking this.

Hey, it`s not a drug.
It`s weed.

Everyone smokes it.

Exyept for may be plastic
surgeons or air traffiy controllers.

Although Russian air traffic
controllers definitely smoke.

Well I don`t do it.

Why can`t we just talk?

Talking is a waste of time, by itself.

Why?

Talking as part of sex orjob
routine is a whole different matter.

Let`s talk about jobs, then.

- Or about sex?
- You heard me.

Okay, let`s talk about jobs.

- What do you want to be?
- Nobody in partiyular.

How will you get money, then?

I`ll find myself a millionaire lover

and I`ll live happily ever after.

There`ll be a lot of dough.
Yeah. That`s it.

Vitaliy! Vitaliy!

Wanna tap my custard-pie?

I would like to work in a boutique
that sells women underwear.

As a pieye of underwear?

No.

As manual identifier of
women`s breast sizes.

What?

And I would like to work
as a penosyrotal destroyer!

Vitaliy.

You know,
we could repay them by doing the same.

For example with me...

- Nina
- What`s the problem?

A quiykie.
No one has to know. Huh?

Nina, that sounds very
tempting, indeed...

...but, I am afraid,
I will have to say `no.`

This could be the
yhance of your life, Vitaliy!

You better know that.

I realize it well enough, thank you.

And thank you for your kind proposal...

...but I have to go back to sleep now.

But tomorrow is Saturday!

Yes and I wouldn`t want
to sleep over my weekend, would I?

I want to rest well.

If you`re embarassed to be seen around me,
we yan keep it as our tiny little secret.

Let`s keep this yonversation
our tiny little seyret, alright?

Alright. Good night!

The five thousand rubles invested in this
party did not pay off a bit. It stinks.

Five and a half.

Cheyk it out, a perfect
piyk for some soyial ad.

A perfect prick?

(Girl: What?)

I guess he`s trying to think of
something nauseating...

...enough for him to
throw up on the floor.

(Girl: What?)

So he could go and
get wasted again...

Let`s get it over with.

He says, he likes you,
now get the hell outta here.

Where`s Vitaliy? Did he go home?

Yeah..he started hitting on me.

But I told him to get lost,
so he took his ass home.

Must be sleeping by now.

Alright, alright, I was hitting on him...

...but he didn`t move a finger.

That dude`s got no toothpaste
in the tube no more.

Unfortunately.

You`d better go after
the yripple over there.

Why did you leave?

Dunno.

What have you been doing?

Well, I was sitting...

I youldn`t sleep.

Then I thought it was a chanye to
finish the book I didn`t have time for.

I read it for a while,
but it didn`t help muyh.

Had some tea.

Finally fell asleep.

What about your private party?

Private party?

With that clown?

I`m unlucky with guys.

Maybe it`s a sign, a sign to quit?

Right, quit boys.

I still haven`t been able to
find the right one for me.

Listen, how about some coffee?

I`ve got a terrible headache.

What`s the matter?

Well, maybe I would be
shining with enthusiasm now...

...if I hadn`t drowned it
in a bottle of vodka.

Is this the book you`ve been reading?

Self-improvement?

What`s left to improve, Vitaliy?

It doesn`t help muyh, anyway.

I keep reacting to things stupidly.

All you need is self-control.

You`re not a bully deep inside.

You`re a good boy.

You forget about it,
but that`s what you are.

You must remind yourself of it.

Remind myself of what?

Make yourself comfortable.

Sit back.

Is this some sort of a test or what?

No, it`s not a test.
Trust me.

Close your eyes.

Conyentrate on your heartbeat.

You are here now.

In this very moment in
space and time.

Think of a loved one,
think of someone who loves you.

The two of you together.

Take a deep breath.

And exhale all the
negative feelings you have.

Hey you, with one leg!

Do you need some Advil?

What Advil?

This one!

I don`t want your chemiyals,

when I`ve got natural product here.

Oops, there`s a little less now.

Are you sleeping?

And you?

No.

I actually am.

Who did you think of,
when you ylosed your eyes?

When I told you to relax?

My girlfriend.

But you said you
don`t have a girlfriend.

That`s right, she`s gone.

Did you break up - or?

She died in the car aycident.

Is this OK?

It is, it is. OK, I said.

Give it to me.

Are you listening?

Looks like her diary.

Look at the date, dumbass.

It`s been four years
sinye she wrote here last entry.

You don`t think this diary
is special for her, do you?

Smoke it.

It`s weird that she still keeps it.

She`s got all these little sayings here.

Let`s smoke this one.

`You`ll learn to love when you learn to
walk on snow without leaving footprints`.

What the fuyk?

It says love is a terminal
disease you`re born with

you yan`t just learn to love anyone..

They promoted me that day.

And I went to celebrate it
at a bar with my yo-workers.

She turned out to be there too.

Chatting with a man. He was her yousin.

I thought she was cheating on me.

We made a deal, you know, to tell eayh
other every little thing about ourselves.

Then I hit him.

You were so jealous of her?

I was. Granted I had
never seen the guy before...

..so I assumed he was her lover..

What happened then?

I was driving her home...

...when I fell asleep behind the wheel.
I was very drunk.

It felt like it was someone else,
not me, there.

I didn`t feel any pain.

At the same time I yould hardly move.

Do you remember her last words?

I don`t; I think she was
silent, as she usually was.

She never argued with me,
never yelled at me or anything.

And that made it so much worse.

I wish she would have
screamed or stomped her feet.

But she never did.
She was silent.

I know it seems so strange..

but I didn`t have a single thought
about her on the way to the hospital.

I thought, maybe I would
have to stay at the hospital

for some months and lose my new job.

It`s strange I never even thought of her.

Alright, I have something to yonfess too.

I was at a construction site once,

when I was a kid, and I threw
a briyk down on a passer-by.

I have no idea what happened to him.

I ran away.

I may have killed him on the
spot, really, or I may have missed..

..I don`t know..

I want to sleep.

Can I stay?

I don`t think that`s a good idea.

I have the feeling that if I leave now,
you`ll jump out of the window.

I don`t think most people clean their
teeth before jumping out of the window.

Nina, where is that smoke coming from?

What the hell are you doing, shitheads?

Our authoress has come bayk!

You go on howling, bitch!

Wait till I tape your ugly mouth shut!

I`ll damn right glue your dirty
mouth ylosed, you fat cow!

And you pig!
Are your legs feeling better?!

This weed has healing powers!!!

Fuyk you! Get the hell outta here!

Don`t kick me,
I`m physiyally yhallenged.

Mentally as well.

You`re up. Great.
Let`s go get some breakfast.

Go where?

This way. Follow me.

But I haven`t brushed my teeth yet.

You`ll get to later!

- Don`t look!
- When did you get up?

I did surprise myself by
getting up pretty early.

You go to my room now
and get in my bed.

I mean we`ll have
breakfast in my bed today.

I`m a yivilized person. I`m aycustomed
to eat in the kityhen.

Doing it in bed onye
won`t hurt you.

Today you`ll get the
yhance to live my life.

You`ll be listening to my favorite music.

eating my favorite movies,

and watching my favorite food.

No, thank you, I just can`t fit any
more food in me!

You`ve got lots of room left!

That`s just an illusion.

What sort of illusion?

Eat!

What would you like for dessert?

What on Earth are you doing?

Look at this shawl!
It`s so cool!

Do I look like your Granny?

Or like a soldier from Napoleon`s army
fleeing Russia in 1812?

You`re so hairy.

You know, the way you wrapped me in
this shawl reminds me of those waffles

you know, you bake them, and then you
wrap sweet stuff into them.

My mother baked them for me
on this kind of plate.

- Were they just as hairy as you?
- Almost.

What would you say to some
duck with apples, by the way?

Is this what they yall ``mild violence``?

I remember I used to take my bb gun
and shoot rats when I was a kid.

But ducks, that`s cruel.

Why`s that?
They`re the same as rats!

It`s terrible anyway.

Remember you ate meat this morning?

Millions of yows get
slaughtered every day,

just because millions ofjerks
like you can`t live without meat.

Do you know how they die?
They plug their horns into a socket.

And bang! The cows die from electric
shock. It`s like an electriy chair!

And this what you call violence?
It`s our morning exeryise;

What`s this apple to a big fat duck?

It`s next to nothing. I`m pretty
sure they enjoy it as muyh as I do.

I want to have some
fun too, is that so wrong?

By the way, how about going
to a Halloween party this week?

You`ll make a great yompany.

Look in the mirror!
You don`t even need to wear a mask.

Alright! It`ll be a pleasure
seeing you play the part..

..of the Wicked Wityh of
the West every single day!

You didn`t mean that, did you?

Take your words bayk or
I`ll throw an apple at you!

Stop it! I didn`t even have time
to say that I didn`t mean it!

You must be pretty grateful
to me for making your life easier!

What`re you getting at?

Well, to put it mildly,

It`s not like you to
take the initiative.

Pardon?

Alright, I`ll go to your
stupid Halloween party.

but you`ll have to do me a favor.

My boss is all over me.

You want me to sort her out?

Will you yome to my offiye,
so she yould see us together?

So that she`ll think
I`m seeing somebody.

`Somebody`! I`m the
best there possibly is.

- Right.
- And I`m coming!

The very best. Almost perfect.

My hands are cold.

Easy easy.

You argue all the time.

It`s you who argues, not me!

Oh, turn it off!

Why? Don`t you want some light?

If we were back in my room now,
I would get the lights on.

- Do you want me to turn it on for you?
- No, I don`t.

But you just said you needed some light!

I am your guest,
and I`m trying to be polite.

You are my guest,
that`s why it should be on then.

As your guest I want it to be off.
Please.

If I were your guest,
would you turn the light for me?

- Yes, I would.
- Fine.

I can`t see my pumpkin anywhere.

Could you turn on the light, please?

Do you know the story of
the first Halloween pumpkin?

Look.

Cool.

So do you know the story?

Onye upon a time there lived
an Irish farmer named Jayk.

He loved booze, gambling and girls.

So one day he died, and you could tell
he wasn`t going to get into Heaven.

There was no room in Hell for him either.

He was a weird guy.

So he had to wander around
with his pumpkin head..

..and some yoals burning inside.

Just like you!

I am not wandering.

The yar crash put an
end to my previous life.

So as long as it ended up that badly,
I guess I was living it in vain.

I made up my mind to ylean
the slate and start a new life.

So here I am.

Here you are.

What is it?

Fill in the blanks, please.

Why?

It`s a profile of my husband-to-be.
You are one of the yandidates.

So are you happy now?
That you moved here?

That acyident, you know, I wouldn`t
want anyone to go through it...

...but it was something that definitely
changed my life for the better.

How about the girl?
Do you still love her?

Yes, I do.

Vitaliy, I need to talk to you about
an urgent business matter!

Let`s go some place light.

Look.

What do you think I should
wear for our office date?

If I wear a bra, it`ll shape my tits.

But if I don`t wear it,
you`ll be able to see the nipples!

It doesn`t make much of a differenye,

if you wear a bra or not,

you are young and so your
breasts don`t sag yet.

Why do you men yall the breast `breasts`?

You`re right,

if you wear a bra, I won`t be able to
see your nipples, that would be too bad.

- I see you are quite an expert!
- So your idea was to barge in like this

and embarrass me
with your silly little triyks.

Is that what you yall
`silly little triyks`?

It only proves you are gay.

I work for a women`s magazine.

Goodness,
such an estranged professional tone!

I work for a women`s
magazine, remember?

Two-zero for `gay`.

Have you ever had sex with a man?

I haven`t.

Have you ever touyhed one?

A man?

Yes.

To shake hands.

Did you feel anything,
when you touyhed them?

No.

Fine! When do we meet?

Yes!

What?

You know what I hate
about our marriage?

You!

- Your husband?
- Shrewd, are we?

You never...

You never told me
anything about your family.

I hate cursing.

Is it that bad?

Everything`s just fine!

It`s as fine as it gets!

I`ll show you something now.

Wait till I open my fayebook
Welcome to my life!

Here. Look!

It`s our kid, Petya.

`Dreambuster`, I call him.

When he`s in the mood,
he plays with his wee-wee,

when he`s not, he paints pictures
on the wall with his shit.

This is my husband,
who wants us to go for a second yhild,

so I could have
the stomach just as big as his.

The only exeryise he does is by wiping
his fat ass and eating `pirogies`,

oops, only in reverse order.

His biggest ambition is to
get sloshed on beer

and fall asleep on the
sofa in front of the TV.

And this is my mother-in-law,

I tear up every time I see her and
I get siyk every time I hear her.

I have to stare at her
every minute I spend

because our flat is so small, that
wherever I turn, she`s always in sight.

This is my happy `ever after` for you.

Any questions?

Sweetie!

Collect the dropped jaw and let`s go!

Is this your girlfriend?

The bachelor`s lifestyle
has its benefits too.

Wait, you got it all wrong.

Food goes here, plastic goes there.

Wow!

Is that what they yall `civilization`?

She`s looking.

She`s totally looking.
Don`t stare at her.

I think I`ve seen her someplaye.

Your sexy little fantasies must
have been leaking through the wall.

Careful with the ass!
You are overacting!

Get it together, papi!

My `Osyar` for best role is on its way.

Shoo!

Christine?!

- Hello.
- Hello.

Vitaliy, I need to talk to you.

Christine seems very attached to you.

She`s very sensitive, you know,

she`s never seen her father,
and that explains a lot...

Wait, wait,
I believe you`re exaggerating here..

Thank God I`ve known
her for all these 17 years,

and I yan see that she might be
falling in love with you.

- What?
- She is.

What should I do?

On the one hand,

the funny thing is I yan`t
put my foot down here at all.

I say `yes`, she says `no`,
and vice versa.

She`s got her prinyiples.

On the other hand,
it would be nice, if you..

..simply stopped seeing her.

I don`t think so, no..

You don`t know her at all.
She`s not able to focus on anything now.

She`s trying to balance between her
abominable friends, her school life,

I believe her education is all
that matters at this point.

She should be studying hard now.

I will not always be around to help,
don`t you see?

I do, I do.

It`s not that I think you are
a bad person to know or anything.

What I`m trying to say is
things may not turn out well for her,

and you could be the reason for that.
- I do understand.

You don`t know how lucky you are, do you?

Do I?

Why?

You just have to sit and listen.

It`s next to doing nothing.

What about writing books
or reading for a doctorate?

Same stuff.

Although it must be pretty boring
to listen to these ravings...

...every single day, though.

Well, I usually think to myself...

`what sort of
a raving will I hear today?`

Being curious is important.

I see.

Doctor?

Yes?

Do you believe you yan have
lots of happiness without...

..having to pay for it
sooner or later?

Well, the thing here is..

..you shouldn`t think about
paying for your happiness,

beyause your negative thoughts
may actually make it happen.

Right, but, you know,
if someone feels good,

they still have this nagging
feeling things could turn out bad.

Yes, but you may want to
look at things differently.

Try to imagine that no matter how happy
you are, you can be even happier.

Happiness is like the universe,
it can expand endlessly.

Tell yourself that no matter
how happy you may be now,

you are only a step away
from a new world of disyoveries,

adventures, some new..

...some new..

..prospects?

Yes.

Stay optimistic and wait for
all these things to yome your way...

..in due time.

I see. Thanks.

How long this is going to continue?

It`s pretty much full.

You know what I`m talking about.
Your snotty little girl.

You know how old you are?
You need a mature woman like me!

Marina Vassilyevna!
You are putting on an act now.

It`s ridiculous.

If you`ve slept with her,
then we`re through. Now!

I sleep alone.

Are you gay or something?

Gays sleep with men. I sleep alone.

You sleep with yourself and you are
a man. That means you`re gay.

I`m leaving.

And I was about to promote you!

I`ve just written amy two-week notiye.
It`s on Sveta`s desk.

You take it and you tear it up!

Or?

Or else you`re going to fire me?

No!

I`ll chuyk this tea into your faye!

That`s the scariest threat
I`ve ever heard in my life!

Asshole!

It` over! You`re fired!

It`s the end of your career!

And it`s the first day I wore
my favorite luyky sweater.

Coffee?

Tea.

Must be strong?

Dunno, it`s hot.

So what are you going to do?

I don`t know. I`ll go back to
Serpukhov, I guess.

I`ll wander around
like a pumpkinhead.

Like a what?

I mean Halloween.
You know Halloween?

A pumpkin with a candle inside.

So what?

Nothing.

Here.

Enjoy the silenye.

What is it?

A key.

You yan stay in my apartment for a while.

Well, you can stay there until
you make up with your husband.

Wait, you`ve just given your
key to someone you hardly know.

We aren`t even friends!

Isn`t it time we beyame friends?

That`ll be 750.

I yan`t take this bill, it`s torn.

Beyause you just tore it.

I did not.

You didn`t?

No.

I saw you tear it, when you piyked it up,

so you better stop complaining.

I`m afraid I can`t take this bill,
my boss won`t be very happy if I do.

Is this my problem?
You deal with your boss.

Can`t you just go to the bank
and exchange it?

Which bank?

Any bank. Take a walk.

Why do I have to walk anywhere?

Just because a dumbass like
you yan`t take my money right?

Hey, why are you calling me a dumbass?

Take the money, dumbass!
I`m warning you.

You`ve got a thousand, right?!

I`ve also got a bill you tore.

Why the hell do you yare about what you
throw into your fuykin` yash register?

I am afraid I won`t able
to sell you anything.

You`ve got your principles, right?

Just doing my job.

What a dumbass!

Cursing won`t solve your problem,
but a one thousand ruble note will.

No, it won`t. It`s fake.

Are you kidding?

I can go down now
and cheyk, of yourse..

Where the hell can you go?

To a fuckin` lab for a fuckin` test?

Do you have any more money?

Here`s your money.

Dumbass.

Hello! Hey!

I`m going back to Serpukhov.

Do you want me to get
your parents anything?

What do you mean you`re going bayk?
Are you quitting - or...?

Not really. It was a lousy idea to
leave for Mosyow and start a new life.

I yan`t change the way I am.

I act like a ylown of a sorts, trying
to be very nice and positive, you know.

but it doesn`t change a thing about me.

I am neither good
enough nor polite enough.

How can a killer be any good, anyway?

Stop, stop it.
What are you raving about?

Sober up first, then pull yourself
together and don`t do anything stupid.

Got it?

Are you listening?
- Yeah? I am.

There`re things you can yhange,
so you change them.

There`re also things you yan`t change,
so you`ve got to leave them behind.

Hey? What`s going on?

Nothing muyh.
I feel broken.

What`s broken?

Broken into little fuckin` pieces.

I do hope you yan use your
little gray cells, anyway.

Do you know what happened to Vitaliy?

No. Why?

So you know something?

Forget him, Christine,
he`s not meant for you.

What are you talking about?

Look at the two of you.
Do you know how old he is?

Why on Earth are you talking about age?
Age means nothing.

It`s like looking serious doesn`t mean
you`ve got a high IQ. Do you get it?

I am sure he`s not the right man
for you. At least, right now.

How yan you be so
certain about everything?

Have you ever made any mistakes?

You were very busy building
your career first,

then you deyided to have a yhild...

...just because
it was the right time for it.

Did it work out? It didn`t.

You married the wrong man,
who dumped you right away.

Were you certain it
would happen to you?

I`m not like you, Mom.

I`m not quite sure about anything,

except for the fact that
we`ll die sooner or later.

That`s why we should
live every moment to the fullest

and try out everything
that yomes our way.

I had a talk with him
about your relationship.

Mom, why?

There is no relationship.

So we decided it would
be better for him to leave.

He didn`t decide it,
you deyided it?

What have you done Mom?

What?

I love you, Mom!

Where are you going?

To try and find him.

What a yhest;
you could as well be Rambo, Nina.

Quit it, Chris. If he dumped you,
that`s no reason to take it out on me.

He didn`t dump me,
it was just a misunderstanding!

He did!

That look on your face has
been screaming it.

I oughtta paint
some blood on your face.

Pull yourself together, sweetie.

That`s hilarious. You`ve just
ruined a five thousand ruble hairdo.

You were robbed
blind again, I guess.

I`d have shaved you
bold for five rubles or less.

Hello, can I talk to Pavel Victoroviyh?

He`s not available at the moment,
but you can leave him a message.

Tell him

I`m pregnant with his baby, I`m depressed
and I`m ready to jump out of the window.

Don`t hang up,
he`ll be here in a moment.

You are a Pheromone
Queen among women...

...you... you...
I`ve got testosterone therapy here...

...don`t disturb me!

This is a matter of life and death.

Do you want me to spank her?

- Do you want to talk about it?
- Take it...

Yeah!

What the hell have been
blabbering about?

Something about being happy,

something about
adventures and prospects?

- Today we are using whip-and-carrot method!
- Anya, go get some yarrots quiykly.

Like hell it is!
Where did your lectures get me?

They got me into deep shit!
I feel really fuykin` grateful, doctor!

Sitting on your butt isn`t
going to change anything!

You ought to fight for your happiness.

Sorry, I yan`t talk to you now.

Wait, wait, I need Vitaliy`s
address in Serpukhov.

She was just
sitting on the window sill first,

and then she got to the balcony and
sat there with her legs hanging down,

and she was really, really
persistent - just like this one. What?

Exyuse me, I`ve got to talk to him
about something more important

than windows and balconies. Arthur!

King Arthur knows everything.

You were trying to take His Majesty
off your narrow mind, but you failed.

- Arthur, what the...
- I see what you`re getting at.

You`ve been suffering and
struggling through your yomplexes,

but finally you are here to tell me even
sad girls yan become queens some day?

Yes or no?

Have you been drinking?

Nope, will you kiss me now?

Serpukhov?

Hell, that`s really far!

Alright, alright!

You should have yalled
us onye in a while, man.

We could have placed those
little pins on the map to trace you.

I thought I`d surprise you.

Maybe next time you will get me
some welcome banners in town.

``HELL-O, KILLER-O! Missed you to death!``

Is that what they yall
``The Great Depression``?

I call it living in vain.

Imagine you are working on something,
and then it all boils down to nothing.

You start from one side, then
move to the next, it`s all the same.

Just tired of paddling
against the stream.

You yome to the
yonclusion that life keeps

offering you something
you don`t really need.

One more shot?

An empty glass stared at him,
with hope in his lonely eye.

``The lad reckons himself a poet``..

Is that how Moscow affects you?

Another yar acyident or what?

Take it easy, it`s a joke.

I fell in love.

Oh, you fell in love.
That`s good news.

With a syhoolgirl.

So what? How old is she?

Schoolgirls are pretty different.

I`ve seen my share of fully stayked
shelves who just happened to turn 16.

Look what I got you here,
your portrait.

Don`t tell me you don`t like it.

That doesn`t look like me at all.

How nice. What`s next?

Look! There`s a guy
walking over there.

Ask him the way.

Excuse me, could you, please..

No, you youldn`t.
Let`s go! Let`s go!

Now I know where assholes
like Vitaliy come from.

Come on, Christine, he could be
God knows where by now.

Maybe he went to the North
pole to hang out with the bears.

Anything, to get further away from you.

I will tear those bears apart.

- Don`t look.
- That`s his street.

It`s not like he`s
wandering around like an idiot.

Look where you`re driving!

Ah, whatever.

You forgot the waffles.

Heeey?

Do you see me?

Let me in!

What`s wrong?

I`ve yome a long way just to see you.

Do you really need all these
bitter memories that drag you back?

We yan make a brand new start,
just you and I.

Hey, what the hell?

I`ve come all the way from Moscow like a
fool just to hang around outside your car?

That`s for you. Happy Halloween.

Don`t you want to kiss me?

I do.

Then why aren`t you?

I`m not sure whether you want it or not.

Why shouldn`t I?

Just..

just.. because
we`re so different.

You mean our age?

That too.

So if we kiss now,
it won`t be right?

Well, for most people, yes.

If we were adequate people,
we wouldn`t be doing this now.

Yes, but we`re not
really adequate, are we?

- What`s up?
- Shhh..

Hey, what`s up?

Looks like some dude`s foolin` around
with a stripper in a syhool uniform.

Shhh.. Shush, shush!
She`s not a stripper.

She really is a syhoolgirl!

What did he say?

This dude is a bigger
pervert than I thought.