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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,379 I'm so nervous! 2 00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,507 It's been so long, no one even makes fun of me 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,925 for being unemployed anymore. 4 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:11,135 Aw. We can make fun of you if you want, sweetie. 5 00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,429 You could also take one of these. 6 00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:14,722 It's a worry worm. 7 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:17,308 It eats your worries and dies out in a couple hours. 8 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,393 I'm on one right now. Super chill. 9 00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:22,313 - I'm not taking breakfast drugs! - We doing breakfast drugs? 10 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,106 I'm just dropping Morty off. Deal me in. 11 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,900 Nobody's dealer-ing anyone. 12 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:28,569 Seriously, guys, this interview is important to me! 13 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,196 Wow! Good luck, Dad! 14 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,406 Didn't realize you were still trying. 15 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,617 Yeah. Why? No one's on your ass to contribute a thing. 16 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:37,745 Ah, if you're trying to neg me into taking a worm, you've succeeded. 17 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:38,830 Negging works. 18 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:41,542 See you all in a week! 19 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,418 I'm so excited! 20 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,587 Is this what it feels like to have friends? 21 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,798 Wouldn't know. Pick you up on Sunday? 22 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,175 See you then! 23 00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:54,221 - Snowball! - Morty! 24 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,848 Oh my God! I missed you so much! 25 00:00:57,849 --> 00:00:59,810 Me too, Morty. Me too. 26 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,512 I was there when that happened. 27 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,306 Really cool! 28 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,808 Whoa! They got a monorail too?! 29 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:43,103 Proud of my dog. He built this place, you know. 30 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:45,605 Shit! What the fuck? 31 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,024 {\an8}Paul! Come! Come! Don't mess with him. 32 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,692 {\an8}We don't know if he's had his shots. 33 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:53,321 {\an8}Morty. Oh, I see you've met a mup. 34 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:54,739 {\an8}No big deal. 35 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,742 {\an8}Just humanoid creatures we bred to be pets. 36 00:01:57,743 --> 00:02:00,995 {\an8}Hopefully that doesn't freak you out too much. 37 00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:03,247 {\an8}Oh! Nope. I've seen a lot of stuff. 38 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,583 Good, because it would be weird 39 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:09,337 if you were offended by it since you had pets first. 40 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:13,549 Is there anything else we could visit or talk about? 41 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,426 Yes. Good. Good. Of course. 42 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:18,012 BooBoo, push the Sniff Conference. 43 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:21,098 I've got a lot to show my old friend. 44 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,976 That's the college of New Dog City. 45 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,854 {\an8}And there is our mech-suit warehouse. 46 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,565 We've updated your grandpa's designs. 47 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,650 {\an8}Cool! 48 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,487 {\an8}I know you're probably distracted by the mups. 49 00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,573 {\an8}Sadly, they're all I can see now. 50 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,284 {\an8}Okay, maybe we should just chill at your place. 51 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,913 {\an8}You know? Chill? Hang? 52 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:50,878 Water bowl, sir? 53 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,672 {\an8}It is our finest hose water. 54 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,091 {\an8}Oh! It's shaped like a little dog bowl. 55 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,258 {\an8}That's fun. 56 00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,968 {\an8}Yes, this is good. 57 00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:01,597 {\an8}We will hang by the pool and reminisce about old times. 58 00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,100 No politics. 59 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,560 - We got company! - Goddamn it! 60 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,853 - Take, take! - Jesus Christ! 61 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:10,399 - Take, take, take! - Take, take, take! 62 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,818 You said we could keep them out! 63 00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:15,194 We're trying, sir! 64 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,196 {\an8}The Mancors, they're adapting! 65 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:20,491 {\an8}So we adapt harder, General. 66 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:23,202 {\an8}You're making my friend uncomfortable. 67 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,286 {\an8}Okay. 68 00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:26,622 {\an8}Morty, I think you're getting the wrong impression. 69 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,874 {\an8}You're seeing a lot of physical deformity 70 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:29,959 {\an8}and selective breeding, 71 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,712 {\an8}and your mind is going to all kinds of places. 72 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,381 {\an8}I mean, it's more that this wasn't quite the vacation I-- 73 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:38,050 {\an8}Titus, take Morty to the mup facility, hm? 74 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,136 {\an8}Show him how loved they are. 75 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,721 Hey, buddy! 76 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,639 Okay. You don't have to crouch. 77 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,475 {\an8}Wow, and it says here under Other Experience, 78 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,185 {\an8}"jumped dimensions." 79 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,437 {\an8}What was that like? 80 00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,647 {\an8}Well, you see some things, Bob, 81 00:03:51,648 --> 00:03:52,732 {\an8}but at the end of the day, 82 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,444 {\an8}you realize we're all pretty much the same. 83 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,905 {\an8}That's the kind of experience I want to bring to the team. 84 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,323 {\an8}Incredible. 85 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,783 {\an8}So can I ask? 86 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,994 {\an8}Any big fish you're trying to take down? 87 00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:08,497 {\an8}Well, Jerry, I don't normally talk clients during interviews, 88 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:12,209 {\an8}but, God, I'm just loving this laid-back attitude! 89 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,420 Nipslip Vodka. 90 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:18,091 If we can convince them to hire us, we'd double our revenue. 91 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,593 I mean, it's right there, Bob. 92 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,969 It's screaming at ya. 93 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,722 What? I don't see it. 94 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,516 Drink. 95 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:30,019 Yes. Yes! I love it! 96 00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:33,022 I love it! So simple. So great! 97 00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:35,524 - Mm. These things come to me. - Hey. You free tonight? 98 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,401 We're having dinner with their CEO. 99 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,153 They need to hear this, Jerry, 100 00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:42,823 and they need to hear it from someone as confident as you. 101 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:47,662 It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday 102 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,500 - Honey, I'm home. - Jerry? 103 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:55,669 Prospects are good. Meeting the client for dinner. 104 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,588 Oh. That's great. 105 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,548 Why did you park on the lawn? 106 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,592 Jesus. How many of these did you take? 107 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:04,637 The first worm helped, so I took a couple more. No biggie. 108 00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,222 What's up? Jerry OD on worms? 109 00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:07,932 I told him to take one! 110 00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:09,476 Holy shit! 111 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:12,603 Jerry, you are teeming! 112 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,940 I guess you had enough anxiety to fuel a worm breeding frenzy. 113 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,191 That's a bad thing, right? 114 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,275 It's a new thing. 115 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,611 I gotta admit, I don't know much about the worm business. 116 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,446 I'm sure my worm dealer has a fix. 117 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,282 J-Man's gonna pass on all this. 118 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,867 Honey, you're teeming! 119 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,161 Alright. But let's wrap this quick. 120 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,205 Big night ahead. 121 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:32,790 No more giving Jerry drugs. 122 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,251 Loud and clear. 123 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,294 You like that? 124 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,422 We call it a mup-a-cino! 125 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,674 Creamy! 126 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,593 Biscuit, this is Emperor Snowball's "Morty." 127 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:48,264 As you can see, Morty, it's all totally fine. 128 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:49,723 I'm kind of getting the impression 129 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,392 that you're all sort of ashamed of this stuff. 130 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,811 - Ashamed? - He seems unconvinced. 131 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,229 I'll play the video. 132 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:59,275 And thanks to new breakthroughs in cruelty-free mup technology, 133 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,652 you can further customize your new best friend 134 00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:03,572 with our drag-and-drop display. 135 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,157 And the mups like it! 136 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,660 Non-genetic modifications can also be made 137 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,495 once your mup is born, 138 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,205 and once the stitch is healed, 139 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,125 your new friend is ready to join the family. 140 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:17,502 Super normal! 141 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,547 And if you think it's weird, you're weird. 142 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,719 Brought you a friend! 143 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,721 That's a happy wheeze! 144 00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,724 Aww. He thinks they're inside the TV. 145 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,018 Play him the video again! 146 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:34,935 Morty? 147 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,605 Oh. Hey. Hey, pal. Glad I caught you, actually. 148 00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:38,939 I'm just gonna take off. 149 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,108 Got some homework I forgot about. 150 00:06:41,109 --> 00:06:43,193 - Great seeing you, though. - Right. 151 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:46,196 - So you're going to cancel me? - What? No. 152 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,823 So you're not gonna run 153 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,658 and tell your grandfather I'm doing eugenics? 154 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,952 You're projecting so much specific shit onto me! 155 00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:53,370 You think I'm racist. 156 00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:56,123 Listen, I came here as your friend. 157 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,208 That's how I wanna leave. 158 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,836 Okay. Just had a lot planned. 159 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,047 Didn't even get to see our giant sprinkler. 160 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,466 Next time. Okay? 161 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,509 Okay. 162 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,686 Please don't try to kill me. Please don't try to kill me. 163 00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,313 Please don't try to kill me. 164 00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:20,440 - Oh! - Shit! 165 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,107 Aw, damn it! 166 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,611 {\an8}- Oh, God! - On the ground! Down! Down! 167 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,242 Get out of the road, you dumb mup! 168 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,079 Oh. No. 169 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:40,960 Oh, fuck me! 170 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,337 - Take, take, take! - Take, take, take! 171 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,674 {\an8}Wait! Maybe they can't see us if we don't move! 172 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,676 Never mind! Run! 173 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,054 Take-take? 174 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:55,432 Oh, please don't take me to join some kind of rebellion. 175 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,186 Yah. Take-take. 176 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,480 Aww, man! 177 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,696 Hello? Sweet Marie? 178 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,074 Brought the whole family, huh? 179 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:15,704 - We're cool. - Yeah, we're... ice cold. 180 00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,623 As you can see, my idiot kinda-husband 181 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,000 took too many Flaxar worms, 182 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,626 and they are now reproducing inside him. 183 00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,045 Cha-ching! You want to go 60/40? 184 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,589 We're trying to fix him, not get into the worm business. 185 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,174 Well, hold on. Who's getting that 60? 186 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,177 Dad, we are not letting this woman harvest Jerry for worms! 187 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,223 Marie? You texted "Come in" and then a gun emoji? 188 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,149 Goddamn it, Dad! Good dealers don't grow on trees! 189 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,944 Infinite multiverse, sweetie. There are trees that do that. 190 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,162 Shit, Jerry! 191 00:08:58,163 --> 00:08:59,747 Hmm. We better find him fast. 192 00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:02,207 If the worms hit a tipping point on Jerry's anxiety, 193 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,460 they'll start using him to feed on other people's worry. 194 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:05,836 - You mean-- - He's going to feed 195 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,046 on creating discomfort. 196 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,215 - Oh, boy. - He'll be great at it. 197 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:13,427 Jerry's tracker disappeared here. The worms must have eaten it. 198 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,429 Those things impress me more and more by the minute. 199 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,348 They're a gold mine. Hold on. 200 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,268 Surprise improv on the subway! 201 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,603 Hey, want to jump in, sir? 202 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,897 We could play aging rock stars, luv. 203 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,982 Shall we get cream-crackered-knackered? 204 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:29,276 Taking him to that improv class was a mistake. 205 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,320 Why wouldn't that be worry-worm heaven? 206 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,738 'Cause Jerry loves it. 207 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,615 No, these things must be trying to max out 208 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,450 Jerry's anxiety specifically. 209 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,744 Where could he go to create the most discomfort 210 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,329 for everyone involved? 211 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,331 - His client dinner! - Client dinner? 212 00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,625 {\an8}Right. Why he did the worms in the first place. 213 00:09:44,626 --> 00:09:46,335 {\an8}Do I have long COVID? 214 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:51,925 - Take, take, take! - Take, take, take! 215 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:56,512 - Take, take, take! - Take, take, take! 216 00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,931 Oh. Cool. You have a leader already. 217 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,059 You don't need me as your Dances for Wolves. 218 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,311 With Wolves? I haven't seen it. 219 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,480 Ha! That's sidelines talk. 220 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:09,775 You clearly don't understand what we're up against. 221 00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,611 The dogs have a breeding program in the city. 222 00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,738 They raised us in cages! 223 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:18,033 Our bodies were twisted then ripped from our mothers! 224 00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,868 I probably know some of this. 225 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,746 They made me watch the mup video. Three times. 226 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,124 "Mup" is the language of the oppressor! 227 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,751 You're still trapped in their way of thinking! 228 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,294 Again, just getting out in front of this, 229 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,963 I'm not looking to get caught up 230 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,799 in all the colonization, eugenics, hierarchies. 231 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,217 Above my pay grade. 232 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:37,594 Humans kind of started this cycle a billion years ago. 233 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,096 You don't want me involved. 234 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,597 So this is your fault? 235 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,558 Not directly enough that I need to fix it. 236 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,810 I just come from a world where the humans are in charge 237 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,103 and we did this to dogs. 238 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,479 He will help us! 239 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,647 I didn't say that! 240 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,190 Dogs! 241 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,985 - Scared! Scared! - Scared! Scared! 242 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:59,032 - Search everywhere! - Do you have eyes on Morty? 243 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,367 - Not yet. - Find him. 244 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:03,371 He said we were asshole, racist piece-of-shit bigots! 245 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,794 {\an8}You fucking leatherskins! 246 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,298 No! Ascot... 247 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,968 - Ascot... - You... 248 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:20,304 must lead... 249 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,973 human boy. 250 00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,685 Just to clarify, I killed that dog guy 251 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,061 'cause I'm pissed at Snowball, 252 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,814 not because of your conflict. 253 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:38,655 - Take, take, take! - Take, take, take! 254 00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:41,742 Yes, General? Ah! Morty! 255 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,744 I heard there was a car crash. 256 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,954 {\an8}Where are you? I can come get you. 257 00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:47,956 I'm coming for you, Snowball! 258 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,834 You asshole, racist piece-of-shit bigot! 259 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:51,920 I knew it! 260 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:58,008 {\an8}Okay. The main gate is here. Guest house is here. 261 00:11:58,009 --> 00:12:00,260 {\an8}Remember, Snowball is mine. 262 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,845 {\an8}And, again, just so happens 263 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:04,097 {\an8}both our agendas involve storming the palace. 264 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,390 {\an8}Not your leader. 265 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,018 {\an8}No. Just stop winking at me! 266 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:09,311 {\an8}Don't wink at each other, either! 267 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,521 {\an8}I mean it! I'm not a Christ figure! 268 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,398 Mancors ready. 269 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,900 Good. Let's just get in there. 270 00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,486 It's time to let Snowball know... 271 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,197 he's been a bad dog. 272 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,494 Sir, how can I help you? 273 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:29,039 Jerry! Man, am I glad to see you! 274 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,833 Is your skin moving? 275 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:33,836 Yeah. 276 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,924 Jerry, this is Carl. Carl Nipslip. 277 00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,718 Carl, I just gotta tell you, you're fucking bald. 278 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,429 And I hate bald dudes. 279 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,432 I love this guy! 280 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,310 I hear you're nervous about working with us, Carl. 281 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:54,231 I used to feel nervous. Now I literally eat fear. 282 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,984 Let's have a drink, you fucking pussy. 283 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,486 Three martinis. I already ordered for us. 284 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:00,570 Wow. Yeah. 285 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,531 Oh my God. 286 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,742 That was what I wanted! How'd you know?! 287 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,287 'Cause you're a drunk. And I know what you want. 288 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,080 I know what customers want. 289 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,833 They want to be told what they want. 290 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,085 Frankly, I'd sign the paperwork right now. 291 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,504 I would definitely. But you need to meet-- 292 00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,256 You need to meet the board in New York. 293 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,508 Take me there. 294 00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,470 Jerry! What are you doing?! 295 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:28,099 And why'd you tell me to bring my pregnant wife?! 296 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,060 I was supposed to get an epidural! 297 00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,650 I induced your labor with that barrel roll. 298 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,902 Now I'm going to deliver your baby. 299 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:44,281 Just like I'll deliver visibility to Nipslip Vodka. 300 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,158 That company is your baby, Carl. 301 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,784 I understand you. 302 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,119 Incredible! 303 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:51,122 We're in freefall! I can't fix it! 304 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,332 Good. What's your name? 305 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,876 - Ellen. - It's time to push, Ellen. 306 00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:58,462 We're gonna crash while you create life. 307 00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:01,089 Blood. Fear. Darwinism. 308 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,799 I think I want to be your wife. 309 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,093 {\an8}Me too! 310 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:08,972 I'll name her Jerry. 311 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,724 Get her a stock portfolio. 312 00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,059 She entered the jungle today. 313 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,977 The grind never stops. 314 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,939 You are all my wife now! 315 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,361 Come on! We have to keep moving! 316 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,324 Help! Help! 317 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:31,620 My God. An entire army. 318 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,331 Right under our feet. 319 00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:45,134 Free them all! 320 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:51,140 - Take, take, take! - Take, take, take! 321 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,729 Oh. I thought they'd be more helpful. 322 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,855 City living. 323 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:01,692 Yeah, these guys do not get guns! 324 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,278 Flee! 325 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,747 To the palace! 326 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,666 They're using our own suits against us! 327 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,167 They tried putting mups in them! 328 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,377 Where is he? 329 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,588 Where is Morty?! 330 00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:26,384 Snowball! 331 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,138 Little Morty! You're all worked up! 332 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,849 Does someone need a nap? 333 00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:36,309 Morty. My old master. 334 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:39,313 Have you come to swat me with a newspaper? 335 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,859 We were best friends, Snowball! You tried to have me killed! 336 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,986 How could I trust you, Morty?! 337 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,405 You recoil at my civilization. 338 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,823 You attempt to leave? 339 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,868 How much more avoidant could I have been?! 340 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:54,035 Typical human. 341 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,873 Afraid to bark what you truly feel! 342 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,749 Typical canine. Full of shame 343 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,418 but still shitting on the carpet! 344 00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:04,171 This world is not your carpet! 345 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,006 I've been saying that! 346 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:08,675 I just came here to spend some time with my dog! 347 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:12,762 {\an8}There it is, then. The truth. "Your" dog. 348 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,681 We could never be equals. 349 00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,641 You cursed me with intelligence. 350 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,394 You sent me to this nightmare planet 351 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:21,939 with weird, ironic humanoids. 352 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,692 Was I your dog then, Morty? 353 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:26,944 You're right! 354 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:31,866 But you're my dog now. 355 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:35,785 Dogs! Help! 356 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:38,414 Everyone stop! Or the emperor dies! 357 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,083 Oh. Okay, okay. Good. 358 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:45,837 Well, was kind of all I wanted to achieve, so... 359 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,006 didn't really have a solution ready to go. 360 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,551 Wasn't even gonna kill Snowball. I was bluffin'. 361 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,095 Just need someone to take me home now. 362 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,555 Leader? 363 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,849 No. Again, not setting up a government 364 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,684 or ushering a new age of righting old wrongs-- 365 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:01,728 Then war! 366 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,105 What? Wait. No! 367 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:08,861 Morty! My panic room! 368 00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:18,411 Jerry! You're crazy! 369 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:20,830 I haven't enjoyed a pitch this much since the '70s 370 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,916 when they pitched me cocaine! 371 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,293 You can't buy nights like this, Carl, 372 00:17:25,294 --> 00:17:28,588 but you can make them... with Nipslip Vodka. 373 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,674 Hold the baby. 374 00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,259 My life is yours. 375 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,135 Kill me if you want to. 376 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,428 Do it! Please! 377 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,556 Not here. 378 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,307 {\an8}There. 379 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,728 Jerry, your clothes. 380 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,064 True advertising is uncensored. 381 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,234 Be uncensored with me, Carl. 382 00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:52,028 Oh, I love it! I love it! I love you! 383 00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:54,322 I hope this doesn't trigger any pitch-killing insecurities 384 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,616 about the way I look naked. 385 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,332 Consume me. 386 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,252 Let me take communion from your body. 387 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,421 I love you! 388 00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,302 Holy shit! He's worming out! 389 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:18,346 - How do we save him? - Save him? He's perfect! 390 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,973 - He's hired! - Screw the board! 391 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:21,141 He's got the account! 392 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:24,145 I'm hired? I did it? 393 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,442 No! No! Too much relief! 394 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,486 The worms need more! 395 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,157 {\an8}What's happening? Why are the worms wriggling toward us? 396 00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:38,783 I'm not that scared. 397 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,745 Oh, wait. Are you afraid of Jerry getting a job? 398 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,663 I don't know. I'm used to him being around. 399 00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:45,166 He's part of the wallpaper. 400 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,920 - Grab the incidentals! - Whoa! 401 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,518 Cool bubble. You need help marketing that? 402 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,229 Only if you put Jerry on it. 403 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:08,898 Done. 404 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:13,486 Oh, just make sure there's enough of him to go around, huh? 405 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,863 Jerry, you start on Monday. 406 00:19:16,947 --> 00:19:18,324 Congrats, hon! 407 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,788 Sweet Marie would have loved this. 408 00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:25,873 Who? 409 00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:33,380 Is there something wrong with dogs? 410 00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,965 I was just trying to be like you. 411 00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,176 I'm so ashamed, Morty. 412 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,427 Oh, Snowball! 413 00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:41,930 Humans are ashamed all the time. 414 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,890 You guys used to be wolves. 415 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:46,559 Humans, we used to be sub-hyena. 416 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,978 I think we invented shame and judgment to cope. 417 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,356 I suppose no creature is perfect. 418 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,733 Yeah, if we put giraffes in charge, 419 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,737 they'd just invent, you know, neck racism, probably. 420 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,531 They do have those necks, don't they? 421 00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:00,658 Yeah. 422 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:05,454 Maybe our species can be self-conscious together. 423 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,464 Rick? I can explain. 424 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:18,675 - Easy, buddy. - Whoa. What happened here? 425 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,135 Four days of civil war. 426 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:23,179 I never took a moral stance, though, I resisted at every turn. 427 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,014 You would have been so proud of me! 428 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,058 - Really? - Couldn't pin me down to nothing. 429 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,144 Totally sidelined it. 430 00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:30,438 Good boy. 431 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,358 So, should we just leave it like this, then, or...? 432 00:20:35,359 --> 00:20:36,860 I feel bad for Snowball. 433 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,571 He built a monorail, and now it's all blown up, 434 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,115 and everyone's dying. 435 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:44,910 Well... 436 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,624 Dogs and worms, baby. 437 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,252 I guess every conflict can be solved with free narcotics. 438 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,420 What a lesson. 439 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,756 Oh, hey. What happened with Dad? 440 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,132 Did he get that job? 441 00:20:59,133 --> 00:21:01,050 Advertising people are perverts. 442 00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:02,427 - So, no? - Yes. 443 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,512 Alright! 444 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,130 So it's all hands on deck this week. 445 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,883 Jerry! We're throwing darts at the interns! 446 00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:43,469 - Get in here! - Yes, sir! 447 00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,639 Boy, I really set a weird bar for myself. 448 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,807 Sorry. I gotta wrap this up. 449 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:51,768 But I wish every client was as chill as you guys. 450 00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:53,812 I love working on this account. 451 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,939 You're the man, Jerry. 452 00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:59,151 - This guy. Sell anything. - Glug! Ugg! 453 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,154 Did you get any of that? 31096

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