All language subtitles for Looking.for.Alaska.S01E06.iNTERNAL.1080p.WEB.h264-BAMBOOZLE

[Bob Dylan's "You're Gonna
Make Me Lonesome When You Go"]

♪ ♪

[both laugh]

‐ ♪ I've seen love
go by my door ♪

♪ It's never been
this close before ♪

MOTHER: Remember, you gotta
hold on tight and then let go.

‐ I know, Momma.
I can do it.

‐ Okay.
‐ [laughs]

‐ You did it!
‐ You try, you try, you try!

‐ Okay, ready?

‐ [snarls]
‐ [laughs]

‐ ♪ This purple clover
Queen Anne's lace ♪

♪ Crimson hair across
your face ♪

GIRL: Is he the leader?

‐ He thinks he is.

But the mommas
are the real bosses.

The male gorillas compete
with each other,

so it's the females' job
to keep the pack together.

Protect the little ones.

When they're tiny,

all babies need
are their mommas.

GIRL: And when they're bigger?

MOTHER: They still need them,
Alaska.

♪ ♪

‐ ♪ This dragon cloud's
high above ♪

♪ I've only known
careless love ♪

♪ It always hit me from below ♪

♪ But this time around
it's more correct ♪

♪ It's right on target
so direct ♪

♪ You're gonna make me
lonesome when you go ♪

♪ ♪

COLONEL: I feel like we
definitely would have heard
something by now.

TAKUMI: Definitely.
COLONEL: No blowback?

Is it safe to say?
‐ Yep, I think we go there.

We just got away with
the greatest prank

in Culver Creek history.

‐ And I get to savor the image
of that jockstrap Longwell

running through the woods with
his pants around his ankles.

[all laughing]

ALASKA:
Normally I am against shows

of hyper masculine aggression

popularized
by professional athletes,

but can I get
a triple high five?

[all shouting]

‐ Wait, all the triumphal
hand gestures.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!

[all laughing]

If you think about it,

college admissions dudes
probably love poop humor.

I bet they thought
it was hilarious.

Those essays
were probably better written

than what Longwell and Kevin

could have came up with
on their own.

‐ We basically helped them
get into their dream school.

‐ No, they're legacies.
They was getting in either way.

That prank
was highly satisfying,

but ultimately consequence‐free
for those dick weasels.

‐ 'Cause that's how it is
in the real world.

‐ Speaking of "The Real World,"

Pudge and Lara need
to get a hot tub.

COLONEL:
Our boy becoming a man.

It is a beautiful journey

and we are privileged
to glimpse it.

‐ Ain't love grand?

[rock music]

♪ ♪

‐ Look at him.
Look at him go.

MILES: Wow.
LARA: Hmm?

MILES: My lips are numb.
[both chuckle]

LARA: Me, too.

I guess it is possible

to kiss so much
you cannot feel the kisses.

‐ [laughs]
Who knew?

‐ [laughs]

[both moaning]

MILES: Is this okay?
LARA: Mm‐hmm.

MILES: It's okay?
LARA: Mmm.

[groaning]

You do not have
to squeeze it quite so much.

[laughs]
‐ Oh, I'm sorry.

‐ Is it the first one
you've ever touched?

COLONEL: Well, technically
his first boob was Alaska's,

but that was against his will.

And it was above the shirt.

‐ Jesus, Colonel.

How the hell
did you get in here?

COLONEL: How do you think?
Through the front door.

But y'all were
so hot and heavy,

nobody noticed.

And I didn't wanna interrupt.
That's rude.

‐ It's getting late.

I should go before the Eagle
does his rounds.

Bye.

Bye, Chip.

COLONEL: Bye.

[laughs]
[door closes]

Whoo.

So, Lara with the perky breasts
is the one.

Your first.

The one to take your innocence.

‐ Well, I don't know.

I mean,
we haven't discussed it.

COLONEL: Oh, probably because
your lips were too numb

from all the kissing.

Two virgins deflowering
each other.

It's gonna be
so goddamn meaningful.

I mean, you gotta
think about it.

For the rest of her life
when people say,

"Who was your first?"

Lara will say,
"Miles 'Pudge' Halter."

It's beautiful.
It's so goddamn beautiful.

♪ ♪

[both laugh softly]

HYDE: Our ability to represent
a concept with an abstract sign

is something no other
animal can do.

While the nickname makes it
appear trivial,

a doodle set the foundation
of universal language.

Just don't do it in my class.

‐ Uh, we were actually...
[clears throat]

Just, um, talking about,
uh, Lara's essay question.

Hers is a real doozy.

‐ Um, how can something
so beautiful as religion

lead to so much war?

‐ It's a good one.

Right?

‐ Back to work.

‐ I really liked your question.

‐ Now I must know,
what is your most
important question?

‐ Oh, well, it's mostly,

um, about how people
want security,

and how they can't stand
the idea of death

being a big black nothing,

or the thought of their
loved ones not existing,

let alone imagine themselves
not existing,

so I decided that people
believe in an afterlife

because they can't bear not to.

‐ Miles, Heaven is written
in the Bible.

It would not have survived
2,000 years

if it was just
a silly pipe dream.

ALASKA: Maybe Lara's right.

Maybe you do go to Heaven

and all your dead pets
are waiting for you

and there's a big dinner party
with old smart people.

When they go to bed,
there's a big after party

with Kurt and River.

I think the problem is that
you spend so much time worried
about what's up there

that you're missing out
on the real party down here.

‐ I guess for some of us,

parties are not so important.

‐ It was a metaphor.

[door opening,
indistinct chatter]

SARA: Chip?

‐ Well, well, well.

Look who's back.

‐ Can I talk to you?
Alone?

‐ You know he's just gonna tell
us everything you say, right?

‐ You're in trouble, Chip.

They know
about the applications.

Someone
on the Duke admissions board's

friends with Longwell's dad.

‐ I'm sorry, Sara.

No idea what you're
talking about.

‐ Chip, this isn't a joke.

They're saying that it was
an invasion of privacy,

fraud,
identity theft,

and they wanna sue the school,

maybe even press
criminal charges,

and I know you've gotten
yourself out of bad
situations before,

but this is different.

‐ Well, if there's nothing
I can do about it,

why'd you even feel
the need to tell me?

‐ Because I care about you,
moron.

‐ I mean, it's not like
you would miss me

if I got kicked out,

now that you and Longwell are‐‐

SARA: That was you, wasn't it?

In the woods that night
of the dance?
You followed us.

‐ Yeah, I followed you
to our spot.

You're damn right.
‐ I don't know why I even try.

‐ Let me ask you something,
Sara.

All the time we spent laughing
at Longwell's fucking lameness,

was that all a lie?

Did you just keep me around
to make daddy angry?

‐ He is lame, okay?

And you're brilliant

and challenging and complicated

and I just wanna be happy,

a goal you mostly made
more difficult, not less.

There's nothing wrong with
wanting to be happy, Chip.

[car doors closing]

[car alarm beeping]

Kevin and Longwell's parents.

They're here to meet
with the Eagle.

And that's Holly's dad.

‐ What's so bad about him?

Besides his complicity
in siring Holly.

‐ He's one of the top
litigators in the state.

[dramatic music]

‐ That's a low bar.

Pun intended.

♪ ♪

‐ I'm really sorry, Chip.

♪ ♪

‐ Thanks for your concern.

♪ ♪

TAKUMI:
Lighter for your thoughts?

Wanna talk about it?

Look, I get it.

It's weird seeing
them together.

They're totally mismatched.

Like if a...sweet but dumb dog

was dating
a cute Romanian duck.

‐ I don't care about Pudge
and Lara.

I have my own tortured
love life to contend with.

TAKUMI: You mean with Jake?
I thought that was over.

‐ He's been calling me
every day,

trying to get back together.

You know what?

I may have been too hasty
ending things with him.

‐ Really?
ALASKA: Yeah.

Really.

You just don't understand
the nuances

of a mature
adult relationship

because you've never
experienced one.

And you probably never will.

‐ From your lips to God's ears.

[dial tone humming]

[beeping]

[line trilling]

[receiver clicks]

FIONA: Hello?

Hello?

Alaska?

Alaska, is that you?
Are you okay?

I think that was Alaska.

You should call her back.

[phone ringing]

‐ Oww, mmm!
‐ Sorry!

‐ Oh, no, it's just,
uh, I don't think my butt

is ever gonna be the same
after the swan.

Wow, that's a sentence
I never thought I'd say.

[chuckles]

RUTH: This is painful.

I'm going to the library.
You have an hour.

‐ Sorry, Ruth.

[door opens and shuts]

‐ [exhales sharply]

We really need
to get our own room.

‐ Mm‐hmm.
[both chuckling]

Have you ever had a blow job?

‐ Um...

that's out of the blue.

‐ Uh, the‐‐the blue?

‐ Oh, I‐‐I mean, like,
um, uh, I just,

um, like, out of left field.

Uh, forget it.

Um, what‐‐what made‐‐
what made you think of that?

‐ I've never given one.

‐ Oh, I've never gotten one.

‐ Do you think it would be fun?

Yeah.
Um, I mean...

[chuckles]
I‐‐I‐‐I think so.

I‐‐I don't know.
Um...

‐ I think I want to.
[laughs softly]

‐ Okay.

‐ Okay.
[chuckles]

Um...

MILES: [clears throat]
[zipper unzipping]

‐ [chuckles]

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

Well, do I do something?

‐ I‐‐I think maybe,
um, you're supposed to...

Move?

‐ How?

MILES: Clearly I'm not
an expert at this.

Hey, maybe we just table this
and, um, watch another episode.

‐ Okay.
BOTH: Yeah.

[zipper zipping
‐ Okay.

MILES: Okay.

[both laughing]

[upbeat music playing,
indistinct singing]

SINGER: ♪ Right back
to where we start ♪

♪ California ♪
ALL: ♪ California ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[knocking]

♪ ♪

[door closing]

EAGLE: You are one of my
best students, Mr. Martin.

‐ Thanks, Mr. Starnes.

You are without a doubt
a top three administrator.

EAGLE: [chuckles]

You're funny.

You're bright.

You understand that true
success comes from hard work,

mastering your studies.

Which is why it grieves me

to see such a stupid stunt
cost you your place here.

‐ Uh, not sure what you're
referring to, sir.

I get the sense that someone
is trying

to make me take the fall
for something, but‐‐

‐ You were seen.

‐ Uh, sorry.

Seen where, sir?

EAGLE: Here,
the night of the dance.

Holly Moser spilled punch
on her sweater

and she was going to change

when she saw you tearing toward
the woods from the dormitories.

Within the walls
of this campus,

I have the tools to adjudicate
any transgression.

When you involve
another campus‐‐

an esteemed university
in a different state,

I lose control
of the situation.

You can't threaten
a young man's future

and think that
it won't have consequences.

‐ I mean, their futures aren't
really threatened, though,
are they?

Parents sorted everything out,
everybody's friends.

EAGLE: Their applications
have been purged

and the deadline was extended,
yes.

‐ Sounds to me like
a victimless crime.

EAGLE: Well, their parents
don't see it that way,

and they're willing
to involve the courts,
even the police.

Do you know that what you did
was illegal?

‐ It was an online college app.

‐ It was using the Internet
to commit fraud.

‐ With all due respect, sir,

it was an essay
about shitting your pants.

‐ I'm no fool, Mr. Martin.

I know you didn't
do this alone,

and I know
who probably helped you.

Do you want
to bring them down with you?

[somber music]

If I expel you
and you go quietly,

that might be enough
to satisfy these parents.

No one else needs
to pay for this.

♪ ♪

‐ Wow.

♪ ♪

So, just the black kid

whose mom serves hash browns
ends up getting expelled?

EAGLE:
Son, do not make this about‐‐

about that.

COLONEL: Come on, man.

They've just been waiting
on their chance.

‐ Then why did you give it
to them, Chip?

♪ ♪

You have 24 hours.

Admit that this prank
was yours and yours alone

and this matter is resolved.

Fight and you will open up
an investigation

that will bring your friends
down with you.

I suggest you start
saying your good‐byes.

HYDE: Checking that
I'm still alive?

‐ Operating out
of an abundance of caution.

‐ People are so still afraid
of stillness.

Is disturbing my tranquility
the only reason for your visit?

‐ It is kind of becoming
our thing, but, um...

No.
I'm here to give you this.

My paper...

which is now yours and...

to also let you know
that I failed the assignment.

HYDE: Oh?
Why is that?

‐ My question...

It has no answer.

‐ All the best questions don't.

That's what makes them
worth asking.

♪ ♪

‐ Well,
then I totally nailed it.

♪ ♪

‐ We don't have to.

I‐‐I just thought it might be,

um... instructional,

but if it's weird‐‐

Not sure you read the book
that it's based on

or watched the movie.

Meryl Streep
is really good in it.

‐ I'm European, Miles.

It's not like I haven't seen
a porno before.

‐ Okay.
‐ Okay.

[rock music plays]

PORN STAR: Oh, come on, baby.

LARA: Oh, God,
this is graphic.

PORN STAR: [moaning]

LARA: Why is he pulling
her hair so much?

‐ Bad idea.
This is not helpful,

and may I add,

not a faithful adaptation.

‐ There is someone we both know

who could possibly help us.

‐ Wow.

If you're asking for my
guidance in the matter,
your, um...

your relationship must be
really progressing,

sexually speaking.

‐ You know,
I knew this was a bad idea.

ALASKA: It's a great idea.

I happen to be an expert
on the subject.

Feel free to call Jake
to confirm my prowess.

‐ No need.
I'm fine.

LARA: So, you can help us?

‐ [exhales sharply]

First order of business, teeth.

Tongue over the bottom ones.

Mouth open wide
to cover the top.

Second order,
despite the slang terminology,

you don't actually have
to be sword swallower.

No gagging, choking,
or unwanted tea bagging.

‐ You know, I might just leave
you ladies to talk about this.

ALASKA: Oh, no, Pudge,
we need you here.

Because when we're done,

you're gonna go
to the dining hall

and you're gonna procure
a peach, and I'm gonna show you

what you need to do for Lara
in order to reciprocate.

Now...

Observe.

LARA: Oh, I see.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

DOLORES: Chip.

♪ ♪

What's wrong, hon?

‐ Mom, would you still love me
even if I messed everything up?

♪ ♪

‐ [scoffs]

Come here.
Come here.

♪ ♪

Of course.

TAKUMI: Hey Colonel,
what are you doing?

♪ ♪

Where are you coming from
in Alaska's car?

‐ Not in the mood
for questions.

Cigarettes first.

[The Darkness' "I Believe In A
Thing Called Love" playing]

♪ ♪

‐ I know it's weird,
but Ruth is always in my room

and there is no getting rid
of the girl.

‐ Are you kidding me?
This is‐‐this is great.

I mean, a limo?

Very classy.
[chuckling]

So much leg room
and I'll stop talking now.

SINGER: ♪ Touching you ♪

♪ Touching me ♪
‐ [groans]

SINGER: ♪ Touching you,
God you're touching me ♪

‐ [chuckles]

SINGER: ♪ Ah ♪

‐ You are not gonna believe‐‐

[dramatic music]

‐ You're letting out
all the good poisons, Pudge.

♪ ♪

‐ Who died?

‐ My future.

Congratulations, Pudge.

As of tomorrow,
you have a single.

KEVIN: What you doing tonight,
Alaska?

Wanna come to practice?

‐ I'm good.
KEVIN: Okay.

[chuckles]
I got that new stick, bro.

LONGWELL: Yeah, I know.
It's against regulations.

KEVIN: No, it ain't.
LONGWELL: Yep.

KEVIN: We gonna go 4A
this year, right?

LONGWELL: I mean, I'm down.
KEVIN: Yeah, man.

‐ Hey, who's the new kid?
KEVIN: Oh, hold on.

I think you at the wrong place.

This ain't
Birmingham Preschool.

I got a question.

Did you have
to pay half tuition

because you're so short?
[chuckles]

‐ Wow, thank you
for that clarification.

Let me guess, you just used up

your whole vocabulary
in that one sentence.

That's impressive
KEVIN: Why don't you shut up?

COLONEL: [grunts]

‐ All right, fellas.
Let's cut back
on the testosterone.

We don't want Kevin's balls
to drop prematurely.

SARA: Alaska, what the hell?
ALASKA: Save me a bufriedo.

KEVIN: Alaska!

Whatever.
I'll smell you later, midget.

[Longwell laughs]
‐ [sighs]

I understand.

The Chihuahua wants
to attack the alpha dog

first day at the pound,
but those two,

they will literally
kick your ass.

‐ I'm pretty sure
I'll get some punches in, too,

and I'm not a Chihuahua.

‐ It's fine.

I'm here to teach you
that there are better ways

of getting revenge here
at Culver Creek.

Pranks.

If you want, I can help you.

‐ Ain't those guys supposed
to be your friends?

‐ Honestly, I came here trying
to find my people,

but so far it's only been turd
farmers with lacrosse sticks

and the women who love them.

I've been looking for someone

with an IQ higher
than their age

and you seem to fit the bill.

So, are you in?

[dramatic music]

‐ Sure, I'm in.

‐ I'm Alaska.

‐ I'm Chip.
‐ [laughs]

Chip?
No.

Chip is the kind of guy
who sells beer nuts

at a dive bar
out by the airport.

‐ Okay.
ALASKA: You are clearly
so much more than a Chip.

I'll think of a good
nickname for you.

Let's go smoke.

♪ ♪

ALASKA: Colonel...

we're not gonna
let you get expelled
for something we all did

Something you did
to avenge what they did to me.

‐ What if we issued
a formal written apology

to the Warriors' parents?

‐ Like they would give a shit
about our apology.

‐ We could hire a lawyer.
Sue the school.

We could say it's cruel
and unusual punishment.

‐ I'm getting expelled,
not executed.

And we can barely afford
a five‐star special
at Miss Ann's.

How are we gonna get a lawyer?
LARA: Oh, I know.

We can petition
the student jury to decide

and then bribe them,
like last time.

‐ It's too late.

The Eagle already made
the final decision.

‐ What if I go to him and tell
him I did everything by myself?

And then Takumi did,
then Pudge, then Lara?

‐ Full "Spartacus."
I like it.

MILES:
I feel like that only works

if everyone
isn't actually guilty

of the things they're
confessing to.

COLONEL: Exactly.

Then everyone
would get expelled,

which is what I'm trying
to avoid.

I was seen following Sara
and Longwell

into the woods that night.

I followed my heart
instead of protocol

and now I'm paying the price
for my passion.

I'll go to the Eagle
in the morning and confess.

Then I'll go.

‐ This truly sucks.

‐ I'm gonna go for a walk.

‐ Want some company?
MILES: No, I need to think.

[door opens and closes]

[knocking]

‐ Oh.

Mr. Halter.

‐ I just wanna talk to you
about Chip Martin.

‐ [sighs]

Come on in, Mr. Halter.
Come on in.

This may not come
as a surprise to you,

but when I was a student here

I wasn't exactly
the most popular.

‐ I'm sorry to hear that.

‐ But you know who was
looking out for me?

My teachers.

I guess the point that I'm
trying to make, Miles,

is that I know
you feel like I'm an enemy,

but I'm not.

So listen to me.

You can't save your friend,

but you don't have
to sacrifice yourself.

You still have
a bright future here.

‐ But what will this place
even be like

if he's not here?

He loves this school.

He loves his friends
and Dr. Hyde's lectures

and getting kicked out
of basketball games.

This place doesn't just belong
to the Longwells and Kevins.

This is Chip's school, too.

‐ And no one is more
disappointed than me

to see Mr. Martin leave.

But he was here on scholarship
and with that comes scrutiny.

‐ So just because
I happen to be born

the son of Walter Halter

means that I get a free pass,

but because he isn't a legacy

and doesn't have money
or influence‐‐

‐ He wouldn't have needed
any of those things

if he had just followed
the rules.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

But I agree with you.

Culver Creek isn't gonna be
the same without him.

♪ ♪

ALASKA: Any idea where your
roommate's skinny ass is?

COLONEL: No clue.

But he's
only my roommate for...

11‐ish more hours,

so he can get a head start

on taking care of himself
for a change.

‐ I'm sure he's probably off
with Lara somewhere.

‐ My last night

and Pudge is out
getting his pole smoked.

At least he got his
priorities straight.

‐ Hey, ballsiest prank ever.

I think we should make
a statue out of you.

TAKUMI: Seconded.

Who needs
another bronze monument

to some Civil War general

when you could celebrate
a truly great

military strategist?

COLONEL: A statue, huh?

My future is completely fucked

and that's
the best y'all can do?

‐ It's pretty damn good.

Something to stand
the test of time immemorial,

here long after we're gone,

ensuring that
you'll never be forgotten.

[somber music]

♪ ♪

‐ But that's the thing.

I will.

The second I leave this place,

it'll go back to normal.

The bell will ring,

everyone will go back to class,

and pretty soon

I'll be a distant memory.

Even to y'all.

I'll just be
that funny little black dude

you knew back in the day.

♪ ♪

Till one day years from now...

♪ ♪

You'll just be thinking...

"Hey, I wonder what happened
to Chip Martin?"

"I wonder what he would have
made of himself

"if he never would have got
expelled all those years ago?"

Chances are...

you won't even
remember why.

[scoffs]

Nobody will.
ALASKA: That is not true.

We will always be friends.
COLONEL: [chuckles] No.

We won't.

We can't.

Starting tomorrow,

I'll be the guy who got kicked
out of school

because of you,

and you'll always feel guilty,

and I'll always feel resentful.

And that's no recipe
for a friendship, now is it?

TAKUMI: Yo, Colonel,

I think it's time we lighten up
on the sauce, huh?

‐ Nope, nope, nope.

In vino veritas, Takumi.

♪ ♪

If she wouldn't have ratted,

her books would have
never gotten destroyed,

and I wouldn't be on the next
bus back to the trailer park.

TAKUMI: Okay, um,

I think it's time
we call it a night.

‐ Alaska?
ALASKA: No, that's not fair.

I never asked you to do that.

And I'll go to the Eagle's
house right now

and I'll confess the whole
goddamn thing.
I will.

‐ Nah.

If that were really true,

you would have done it by now.

♪ ♪

‐ You figured out
where I was going?

LARA: It wasn't hard.

What happened?

‐ Nothing.

‐ Good.
MILES: No, it's‐‐it's not good.

It's, um‐‐it's not fair

or just.

It's fucked up.

LARA: No, not this again.

You are so lucky,

and instead of being grateful
and enjoying it,

you are on some mission
to find some imaginary life.

‐ It's not imaginary.

It's my great perhaps.

‐ What does that even mean,
great perhaps?

Culver Creek is our chance
at a great future.

Work hard,
get into a good college,

become anything we want.

And you want to risk
all of that...

For what?

I am so sorry that the Colonel
is being expelled.

But he was caught
and we weren't,

and I am not sorry for that,

because that means
that we get to stay here.

And that's everything.

‐ My friends are everything.

And if you can't
understand that then‐‐

LARA: Then what?

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

‐ I gotta go.

♪ ♪

‐ You really wanna end it
this way?

‐ Why not?

Makes it easier
for everyone to move on.

♪ ♪

TAKUMI: All right.

Alaska, sorry the Colonel's
being a prick.

Colonel...

♪ ♪

Good luck.
‐ Uh‐huh, you can go.

♪ ♪

‐ Self pity was never
your thing, Colonel.

I always thought
you were more of a fighter.

‐ Well, sorry to let you down.

Guess you know
how it feels now.

♪ ♪

‐ What's wrong?
‐ Nothing.

Everything.
Let's just go smoke.

♪ ♪

MILES: He's just spinning out.

ALASKA: [sniffles]
Can you blame him?

He is kind of right.

It's my fault.

I just wish he hadn't been
such an asshole about it.

‐ I just got into a dumb fight
with Lara.

‐ I didn't know
she had it in her.

‐ It was mostly me.

‐ I didn't know you had it
in you, either.

So you guys are on the rocks,

just when she learned
to give head.

It's a tough one.

‐ I don't ever really think
we were even

right for each other.

‐ I know.

Look, it sucks, but...

welcome to the club.

Me and Jake
and Sara and the Colonel.

We're all losers in love.

I get why the Colonel
was so pissed.

This place really was
his ticket out
of the trailer park.

He may be
an angry little asshole,

but I don't know
if I can live with the idea

of him hating me
for the rest of his life.

‐ Well...

we just go back,

apologize,

and then...

Just be with him...

Till he leaves.

♪ ♪

‐ It's that easy, huh?

♪ ♪

‐ It's that easy.

‐ Okay.

Let's go, Pudge.

♪ ♪

Colonel, it turns out
I'm an asshole, too, so...

♪ ♪

[snoring softly]

MILES: [whispers] All right,
let's get him in the bed.

[both grunting]

[sighs]

‐ Well, so much for honest
conversation with the Colonel.

‐ Now what?

‐ Since we're already
in the mood for honesty,

I'm thinking...

copious amounts of alcohol
with a little truth or dare.

Unless you think that
truth or dare was played out
by seventh grade.

‐ Never played it before.

Didn't have any friends
through seventh grade.

‐ That's a sad story, Miles.

Now's your chance.

This is gonna be fun.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

‐ That looks so good.

I'll take over.
Thanks.

♪ ♪

SINGER: ♪ She said she knows
how to dance ♪

♪ ♪

♪ But if that actually
makes sense ♪

♪ The more you learn
the less you feel ♪

♪ The moment as it's happening
but close your eyes ♪

♪ Recognize ♪

♪ I know somewhere
there's someone ♪

♪ Holding a candle for me ♪

ALASKA: That's the truth
of where I'll be in ten years.

MILES: Hold on,
so in this mythical future

I am a feminist novelist?

‐ We'll have
a very small section

for white male authors
we approve of.

Basically just you
and Dr. Seuss.

‐ Apparently Dr. Seuss
was a racist.

‐ Yeah.
‐ What?

‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ You ruin everything, Pudge.
‐ [laughs]

‐ Fine, it's just gonna be you,
then.

Um, that's only because

the first book will clearly
be about me.

‐ Oh, will it now?
ALASKA: Mm‐hmm.

Who else would it be about?

Not Lara.

[sighs]
Maybe this idiot.

[both chuckling]

‐ So...I'm gonna be a novelist.

‐ Well, maybe.

If you start reading books
from the beginning

instead of just skipping
to the end for last words.

‐ Wait, but isn't the title
of this future novel,

Famous Last Words?

‐ You're missing the point
of the story.

The point is where
I'll be in ten years,

not where you're gonna be.

‐ Right, and you're gonna be...

An owner
of a hipster book store.

‐ [laughs]

Yes.

Or a literature professor
at Columbia

teaching a class on...

anti‐heroines.

I don't know.

All I know is that
I'm gonna be far away from home

doing something I love,

and inspiring girls to be their
unapologetically badass selves.

‐ You're gonna do it, too.

No doubt about it.

‐ Okay, enough about me.

Truth or dare, Miles?

‐ Um...

Truth.

‐ When we were in Dolores's
room at Thanksgiving...

Did you wanna kiss me?

‐ [laughs]
Jesus.

Um, can‐‐can I switch to dare?

‐ No.

‐ Um...

Well...

I thought it
was pretty obvious.

I mean, obvious enough that
you kicked me out of the bed.

Yeah.

I‐‐I did wanna kiss you.

Did‐‐did you...

you know, wanna‐‐

‐ No, you‐‐you have to burn
a truth or dare

to ask a question.

‐ Fine.
Um...

truth or dare?

‐ Truth.

‐ Did you wanna kiss me?

‐ Yes.

I didn't because I got some
bad advice from the Colonel.

Your turn.
Truth or dare?

‐ Oh, um, wait.
Hold on.

ALASKA: Truth or dare.

‐ Truth.

ALASKA: Were you happy
when Jake and I broke up?

MILES: Yes.

Why did you?

Break up, I mean.

‐ Truth?

Um, because...

I wanted to be available
for someone else.

Like, maybe you.

[soft dramatic music]

♪ ♪

But it doesn't matter because

I'm...

I'm bad for everyone.

I hurt Jake.
I ruined the Colonel's life.

So...

Trust me.
You don't want me.

‐ I get to decide

what and who‐‐

‐ Whom.

‐ Whom I want.

♪ ♪

Who's good for me.

♪ ♪

Everyone around here treats me
like I'm a little kid.

Like I can't make
my own decisions,

but I can.

I'm responsible for my actions.

I can handle the heat.

‐ Really?

You can handle the heat?

‐ Yeah.

I can.

‐ All right.

Miles...

truth or dare?

♪ ♪

‐ Dare.

♪ ♪

‐ Kiss me.

["I'll Follow You
Into The Dark" cover]

♪ ♪

SINGER: ♪ Love of mine ♪

♪ Someday you will die ♪

♪ But I'll be close behind ♪

♪ Following you into the dark ♪

♪ No blinding light ♪

♪ Or tunnels
to gates of white ♪

♪ Just our hands clasped
so tight ♪

♪ Waiting for
the hint of a spark ♪

♪ If Heaven and Hell decide ♪

♪ That they both
are satisfied ♪

♪ Illuminate the no's ♪

♪ On their vacancy signs ♪

♪ If there's no one
beside you ♪

‐ [whispers]
I love you, Alaska Young.

SINGER: ♪ Then I'll follow you
into the dark ♪

♪ ♪

[phone ringing]

♪ ♪

‐ Don't go.

[phone ringing]

♪ ♪

‐ To be continued.

♪ ♪

I need to get out of here.

I forgot.
‐ What's going on?

‐ How many times can I fuck up?
‐ Alaska, what the hell?

ALASKA:
I have to get out of here.

MILES: Okay, now?

‐ Yes, now.
‐ Where are you trying to go?

‐ Just distract the Eagle and
get him out of his house, okay?

MILES: Are you sure
you're okay to‐‐to drive?

ALASKA: I'm fucking invincible.

[door slams]

‐ I'm gonna light these off
at the Eagle's place.

You help her with the gate.

♪ ♪

[fire crackers popping]

♪ ♪

‐ Hey!

God damn it.

[fire crackers popping]

[car engine turning over]

♪ ♪

SINGER: ♪ All worn down ♪

♪ The time for sleep is now ♪
[gate creaks]

♪ But it's nothing
to cry about ♪

♪ 'Cause we'll hold
each other soon ♪

♪ In the blackest of rooms ♪

♪ If Heaven and Hell decide ♪

♪ That they both
are satisfied ♪

♪ Illuminate the no's ♪

♪ On their vacancy signs ♪

♪ If there's no one
beside you ♪

♪ When your soul embarks ♪

♪ Then I'll follow you
into the dark ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I'll follow you
into the dark... ♪

[thunder claps]

[rain patters]

[thunder claps]

[rain intensifies]

[thunder rumbling]

[thunder booms]

[rain pattering]

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