All language subtitles for Urusei.Yatsura.1981.S01E16.Oh.Lonely.Teacher!.Kuribayashi.Sensei.Appears.Terrible.Inspection.Day.BluRay.1080p.x265.FLAC.2.0-izzybell
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1
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:11,800
URUSEI YATSURA
(Those Obnoxious Aliens)
2
00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:13,130
Don't get so
fidgety!
3
00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,870
Don't get so
fidgety!
4
00:00:14,870 --> 00:00:14,940
5
00:00:14,940 --> 00:00:17,140
You're always looking
all over the place!
6
00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:17,500
You're always looking
all over the place!
7
00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:20,170
Stop looking away
from me!
8
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,870
More than anyone
else, I...
9
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:25,500
...love you, love you,
love you the best!
10
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:28,140
...love you, love
you, love you!
11
00:00:28,250 --> 00:00:30,780
...love you, love
you, love you!
12
00:00:30,890 --> 00:00:33,480
...love you, love
you, love you!
13
00:00:33,590 --> 00:00:38,820
On nights when the stars
are twinkling...
14
00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:44,190
...I dream all
about you.
15
00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:49,530
I love you, but you act
like you don't know.
16
00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:54,200
I bet you're crazy for someone
else by now!
17
00:00:54,310 --> 00:01:05,150
Ah! Men all have
so many loves.
18
00:01:05,250 --> 00:01:10,520
Ah! You're spreading
them all over...
19
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:16,220
...and making
me worry!
20
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:18,860
Don't get so
fidgety!
21
00:01:18,970 --> 00:01:21,490
You're always looking
all over the place!
22
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:24,160
Stop looking away
from me!
23
00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:26,900
More than anyone
else, I...
24
00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:30,030
...love you the best!
Love you the best!
25
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:36,910
Oh! Lone Teacher!
26
00:01:58,310 --> 00:02:00,410
"Tomobiki High School"
27
00:02:00,410 --> 00:02:02,500
"Tomobiki High School"
28
00:02:00,410 --> 00:02:02,500
This is it...
29
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,660
That hit the spot!
30
00:02:22,970 --> 00:02:25,530
Heh, just an old
tomcat...
31
00:02:28,540 --> 00:02:30,340
H... He's good...
32
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,700
S... S...So's this!
33
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,670
"Principal's Office"
34
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,940
Here's the money
you requested.
35
00:02:39,420 --> 00:02:41,780
Please complete
your mission.
36
00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:49,020
Leave it all to me, Sanjuro
Kuribayashi...
37
00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:51,920
...authorized by the Ministry
of Education...
38
00:02:52,030 --> 00:02:54,860
...and referred by Trump-Card
Teachers Co., Ltd!
39
00:02:56,030 --> 00:03:00,660
That class is the cancer of our school!
Please set it to rights!
40
00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:03,000
I look forward to
your success!
41
00:03:07,410 --> 00:03:12,110
Now that I'm here, this class
will change completely!
42
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,550
So, how do
you do!
43
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,490
It's a new
teacher!
44
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,280
The man looks kind of
rough, doesn't he...
45
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:24,260
Kinda creepy. Let's
come back later.
46
00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:26,490
Hey, Lum,
wait up!
47
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:30,700
You bozos all look like your
heads are brainless!
48
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:43,540
Stop laughing, you
numbskulls!
49
00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:48,380
Teacher! I wonder if smoking
in class is appropriate...
50
00:03:48,550 --> 00:03:52,610
Yeah, Mendou! Way to go,
you stud! More, more!
51
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,390
Ow!
52
00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:58,820
Why, Teach? Mendou's the one
who talked back to you!
53
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,230
Because you've got an UGLY
face, that's why!
54
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:06,200
Just because I was born handsome,
others are suffering...
55
00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:13,740
This... sinful face
of mine...
56
00:04:15,550 --> 00:04:17,570
...should be crushed!
Crushed!
57
00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,120
What's he doing?
58
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:19,780
You're obnoxious!
59
00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:19,920
You're obnoxious!
60
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,450
Jerk!
61
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:21,590
Jerk!
62
00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:23,220
Mendou is so sensitive!
63
00:04:23,220 --> 00:04:23,350
Mendou is so sensitive!
64
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,840
Oh, Mendou, please stop!
65
00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:27,050
Yes! Your face doesn't
belong only to you!
66
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:33,890
Oh, that's right! It was my
fate to be born handsome.
67
00:04:36,700 --> 00:04:38,470
Geez, but that hurts!
68
00:04:38,470 --> 00:04:39,940
Mendou!
69
00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:40,070
Mendou!
70
00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:42,700
It's all right. Please don't worry.
71
00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:45,930
Sheesh, look at
him ham it up!
72
00:04:47,940 --> 00:04:51,570
Listen, I can't stand ugly
people, male or female.
73
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,620
And I won't ever tolerate anyone
whom I can't stand!
74
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:58,310
If you're ugly, all you can do is let
your inferiority complex grow!
75
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:06,020
What?! Ugly, ugly, ugly...
look who's talking!
76
00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:09,530
Let me tell you: what's important
for high-school students is...
77
00:05:13,370 --> 00:05:16,240
Listen up! What's important for
high-school students is this!
78
00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:18,570
If you have energy enough to
talk back to your teacher...
79
00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,040
...you can totally devote that energy
towards study and sports!
80
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:26,840
Moroboshi! Run faster! One, two,
three, four, one, two, three, four...
81
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:31,510
Damn! Kuribayashi, you bastard... how
can I run faster pulling this garbage?
82
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:36,690
Hi!
83
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,830
I've told you over and over again, I
don't let students talk back to me!
84
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,560
Darling!
85
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:52,310
Darling!
86
00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:56,080
What happened here?!
87
00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:58,410
Just what happened here?!
88
00:05:58,580 --> 00:06:00,850
A... Ask him...
89
00:06:01,590 --> 00:06:04,280
Teacher! What're you
doing to my Darling?
90
00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:06,290
I won't let you pick only
on Darling anymore!
91
00:06:07,190 --> 00:06:11,180
We're going, Darling! Don't listen
to any teacher who's like this!
92
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,060
Say what?! Do you have to show
off, even at a place like this?!
93
00:06:14,230 --> 00:06:17,890
Of course! We're
a married couple!
94
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:19,570
Married...?
95
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:23,330
You witch! Space
freak! Invader!
96
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,940
I can see her... No, I can't...
I can see her...
97
00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:42,350
Oh no, I'm too scared
to go any further!
98
00:06:42,630 --> 00:06:45,890
My heart is bursting
for her... Lum.
99
00:06:49,770 --> 00:06:52,630
The Lolita Complex, commonly
called "Lolicon."
100
00:06:52,740 --> 00:06:54,830
Tis an ailment of the soul in
grown-up men, wherein...
101
00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:57,910
...they fall for beautiful, young
girls... Let us pray.
102
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,870
I can see her...
I can't...
103
00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:05,710
I can see her...
I can't!
104
00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:13,080
Damn! This is all because of
that punk, Moroboshi Ataru!
105
00:07:13,190 --> 00:07:17,220
I won't forgive him for keeping
my darling Lum all to himself!
106
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,990
I'm going to beat him up... beat,
beat, beat, and just beat him up!
107
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:25,600
OW!
108
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:30,540
Starting today, you're an eraser!
109
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:31,270
Why?!
110
00:07:31,270 --> 00:07:31,410
Why?!
111
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,110
Starting today, you're a mop!
112
00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:33,240
Starting today, you're a mop!
113
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,510
But why?!
114
00:07:34,510 --> 00:07:34,640
But why?!
115
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,080
Starting today, you're a bat!
116
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:37,210
Starting today, you're a bat!
117
00:07:37,210 --> 00:07:38,440
WHY?!
118
00:07:39,220 --> 00:07:40,550
A trampoline!
119
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:42,650
A basketball!
120
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:54,690
Kuribayashi is going
to kill me someday!
121
00:07:55,770 --> 00:08:00,070
That's strange! He's
very nice to me!
122
00:08:00,170 --> 00:08:03,110
See! He gave me all
these presents!
123
00:08:05,010 --> 00:08:06,980
I told him I wanted to give him
something in return...
124
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,980
...and he said he'd like a picture
of me, so I let him take one.
125
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:12,980
Your... photo?
126
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,020
Your photo, huh!
127
00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:21,510
Lum...
128
00:08:26,230 --> 00:08:27,790
Oh, it's just
a cat!
129
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:30,020
Eh? What's that
in your mouth?
130
00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:34,530
What?!
131
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,210
Over here! There
you go!
132
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,560
It's... nice weather,
isn't it...
133
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,360
Yup, very
nice.
134
00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:15,810
I was overjoyed to get your
letter, to read that...
135
00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:19,250
...that you... well, want
to date me, too!
136
00:09:19,620 --> 00:09:21,410
Teacher, come
closer!
137
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:23,850
Uh, yes...
138
00:09:27,620 --> 00:09:31,490
Lum... are you happy
to be with me?
139
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,560
I'm extremely
happy!
140
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:46,600
This is what life is all about!
This is youth!
141
00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:54,610
"Don't get so
fidgety...!"
142
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,560
Lum...
143
00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:10,130
Teacher, let's go
some place fun!
144
00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:23,450
Lum, are you sure you don't
mind being seen with me?
145
00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:24,810
Why?
146
00:10:24,910 --> 00:10:27,580
Well, don't you want a younger
guy than me?
147
00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:30,780
Nope! Middle-aged
guys are charming!
148
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,680
You really
think so?
149
00:10:33,060 --> 00:10:37,960
Of course! They're calm
and broad-minded.
150
00:10:38,130 --> 00:10:39,860
T... Then, Lum, you
think of me as...
151
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:42,160
Yes, I don't dislike you...
152
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:51,130
L... Lum... y... you think that much
of me! Oh, I'm glad to be alive!
153
00:10:52,180 --> 00:10:55,140
You should give me a
goodnight kiss here.
154
00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:01,480
Lu... Lum!
155
00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:14,420
We got you!
156
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:22,530
Kuribayashi! What
a disgrace!
157
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,200
Is this... Is this the kind of trump-card
teacher I paid so much money for?!
158
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:28,680
Oh, this is SUCH an
embarassment!
159
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:42,050
Personality
Collapse!
160
00:11:42,790 --> 00:11:48,790
"...I love you the best...
I love you the best..."
161
00:11:49,630 --> 00:11:53,800
What's with the Teacher? All I did
was what Darling told me to do!
162
00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:01,140
Finally, Kuribayashi is a true
member of Tomobiki High!
163
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:04,210
Teacher! Pull yourself
together!
164
00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:05,750
Huh?
165
00:12:05,920 --> 00:12:06,750
Teacher!
166
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,320
I ...I'm so embarrassed!
167
00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:12,750
I just want to go somewhere far
away, where I can be alone!
168
00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:17,660
Really? You want to go far away
that badly, huh? OK!
169
00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:21,320
C... Can it be?
It can't be!
170
00:12:27,570 --> 00:12:34,000
LUM!
171
00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:46,360
Terrifying Visiting Day
172
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,770
Oh, I'm so depressed...
173
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:01,960
I have to go to Ataru's course-
guidance meeting...
174
00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:03,270
...and I'm afraid of what
I'm going to hear...
175
00:13:05,180 --> 00:13:10,810
"There's one student whose grades are
hopeless... unbelievably hopeless!"
176
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,110
"He's the shame of our town! A
Cancer! Human Garbage...!"
177
00:13:14,220 --> 00:13:15,850
"Of course, he shall remain
anonymous, but...
178
00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:18,950
"...it's your son, Mother
of Moroboshi Ataru!"
179
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,530
Nope... I'm headed
back home!
180
00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:37,410
Mom! Thanks
for coming!
181
00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:39,770
Where are you
going?
182
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,370
Looking for the toilet?
It's not that way!
183
00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:44,970
I wonder whose
boy HE is!
184
00:13:46,550 --> 00:13:48,780
Mom! It's not
that way!
185
00:13:49,490 --> 00:13:54,820
Mom, see, the toilet's over there,
where that fat broad is going in.
186
00:13:55,190 --> 00:13:57,890
Hey, you sure look
nice today!
187
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:16,740
Hey, what idiot let a cow
into the schoolyard?
188
00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:18,210
It's interfering with the course-
guidance meeting!
189
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,840
Move it,
Cow!
190
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,490
Madam, we have
arrived.
191
00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:27,520
Very well.
192
00:14:35,530 --> 00:14:36,800
Wow! So beautiful!
193
00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:39,160
Mother, you honor us
with your presence.
194
00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:41,570
So that means... that this is the
Mendou Conglomerate's...
195
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,100
...Her Excellency,
Mrs. Mendou.
196
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,940
Ju... Just a moment.
197
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:50,210
Principal! Mrs. Mendou of the
Mendou Clan has arrived!
198
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:59,380
Ah, Madam Mendou,
welcome...
199
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,920
Madam, allow me.
200
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:11,070
Hail to the Mendou Conglomerate!
Hail! Hail! Hail!
201
00:15:15,010 --> 00:15:16,870
What the...? W... What
the hell is that?
202
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:36,690
This is Lum's Mother. She doesn't speak Japanese.
203
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:40,990
So elegant!
204
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:51,110
Oh! It's Mom! Mom!
Long time no see!
205
00:15:52,140 --> 00:15:53,010
Mom!
206
00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:55,440
Auntie!
207
00:15:55,610 --> 00:15:58,710
I'm so glad you're here!
208
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:03,110
Darling, I'd like to introduce
you to my Mother!
209
00:16:03,290 --> 00:16:06,750
Oh, hello. Uh, how... how
do you do... do...
210
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,230
Just a minute! You're not even enrolled
here! Why'd you invite your Mom?
211
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,370
I want to know what the future has
in store for us and the school.
212
00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:26,540
Oh, Toshi! Where
are you going?
213
00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:30,680
Mom! Look out!
Look out!
214
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,590
Darling, how dare you...! With
your own mother-in-law!
215
00:17:00,510 --> 00:17:02,000
Toshi!
216
00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:08,510
Beefbowl!
217
00:17:09,690 --> 00:17:11,320
Hey, it's hot from the oven!
218
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,020
Wow, this is great!
219
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:13,160
Wow, this is great!
220
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,520
Toshi... look what you've become!
221
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:24,200
Mom says, "My daughter is in your debt,
so please have some Beefbowl on us."
222
00:18:07,950 --> 00:18:10,280
Darling, I have a feeling
this isn't very good...
223
00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:14,120
Maybe she thinks the Beefbowl
wasn't full enough?
224
00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:15,920
Unleash our Private Army!
225
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:16,910
Uh, yes, Madam.
226
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:47,080
Here comes the Mendou
Clan Panzer Brigade!
227
00:19:12,010 --> 00:19:15,500
What do we do, Darling? Mom's
steamed! This means war!
228
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,740
Great! I've never
seen a real war!
229
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:45,770
Wow! It's real!
Real war!
230
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:56,350
Far out! Go for it! Crush!
Crumble! Chomp!
231
00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:57,480
I don't want either
side to lose!
232
00:19:57,660 --> 00:20:00,920
If we have a war in the schoolyard,
the P.T.A. will have our butts!
233
00:20:01,090 --> 00:20:03,120
And the groundskeeping
will be a real pain!
234
00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:07,460
There! Go behind...
behind! Behind!
235
00:20:07,630 --> 00:20:10,430
Dummy! If this goes on,
we're all dead ducks!
236
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,260
Worse, it'll be the End of the World!
Mother has an ultimate weapon!
237
00:20:14,740 --> 00:20:18,840
Peace Talks! Let's
hold Peace Talks!
238
00:20:23,410 --> 00:20:25,780
I will be the ambassador
of peace.
239
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,650
Mom!
240
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,390
In this way, I will clear the name of
my idiot son, in a single stroke.
241
00:20:34,990 --> 00:20:37,260
All right, Honey!
Clear our name!
242
00:20:44,540 --> 00:20:46,400
We'll decide who
wins this way.
243
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:50,630
Whoever loses will withdraw
her troops... agreed?
244
00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:54,810
Then place all your chips
where you may!
245
00:21:01,350 --> 00:21:02,750
On 10!
246
00:21:05,660 --> 00:21:06,450
This is it!
247
00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:09,860
Here we go!
248
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:12,760
In it goes!
249
00:21:43,130 --> 00:21:45,650
It stopped on 8.
They both lose!
250
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:51,400
In that case, the house wins.
All of the chips are mine!
251
00:21:52,470 --> 00:21:56,570
I won! I won!
I won it all!
252
00:22:01,910 --> 00:22:06,680
What a game! I won a fortune
at the guidance meeting!
253
00:22:09,350 --> 00:22:11,050
She says, "You are
a ripoff artist!"
254
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,050
Madam says, "Hey, creep, gimme
back my damn money!"
255
00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:19,030
No stinking way!
Not a chance!
256
00:22:28,670 --> 00:22:31,280
We did it!
Money! Money!
257
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:31,410
Money! Money!
258
00:22:31,410 --> 00:22:34,180
Buy me something!
Money! Money!
259
00:22:34,180 --> 00:22:34,310
Money! Money!
260
00:22:34,310 --> 00:22:35,710
I'll buy you anything!
Money! Money!
261
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:37,850
We're rich! Hurrah,
Mom! You're #1!
262
00:22:46,220 --> 00:22:50,520
They say Mrs. Moroboshi swindled the
Aliens and the Mendou Conglomerate!
263
00:22:50,700 --> 00:22:52,720
Oh, so that's why they're
being attacked!
264
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:55,260
So I guess their son wasn't
the only idiot in the family!
265
00:23:35,710 --> 00:23:37,940
I never should have
married you...
266
00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:44,310
It's all right. Earth
is saved, after all.
267
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:55,320
Darling has disappeared!
268
00:23:55,430 --> 00:23:58,060
The moment Shutaro pressed
the shutter of his camera...
269
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,690
...Darling, who should have been
right next to me, vanished!
270
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,900
Then there was some faint telepathy
coming from the windowpane!
271
00:24:04,670 --> 00:24:06,660
We'll see you next time for
"The Four-D Camera..."
272
00:24:06,770 --> 00:24:11,070
...and "Demonic
Jogging!"
273
00:24:23,220 --> 00:24:30,220
Let's put weird and weird together,
and make it even weirder!
274
00:24:30,330 --> 00:24:37,430
Weird, weird space
is super-weird!
275
00:24:37,540 --> 00:24:44,380
Hold on. What? What?
Something's weird!
276
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:51,470
Hold on. What? What? Something's
definitely a little weird!
277
00:24:51,580 --> 00:24:58,150
If it gets weird, it
becomes fun!
278
00:24:58,260 --> 00:25:05,690
Hearts pop up and fly away
into the night sky!
279
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:12,830
Let's put weird and weird together,
and make it even weirder!
280
00:25:12,940 --> 00:25:18,210
Weird, weird space
is super-weird!
281
00:25:18,310 --> 00:25:27,020
Super-weird!
Terrible!
20940
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