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1
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:16,141
- This is a gift for your
many years of service here.
2
00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:17,976
- Wow.
Thanks, Michael.
3
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,562
Can I just say that of all
4
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:24,315
the idiots in all the idiot
villages in all the idiot
5
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:28,153
worlds, you stand
alone, my friend.
6
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,071
- Hello.
- Hey.
7
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,532
Hi.
Good to see you.
8
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,909
Just having a little
exit interview.
9
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:36,661
- Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm here.
10
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,830
- No, no, no. This is
very boring stuff.
11
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:39,998
Why don't you take a tour?
12
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,166
Have you seen the baler?
13
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,752
No, I'll look at it later.
14
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,379
It's part of my job.
15
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,175
Okay.
16
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,969
- Did you need me
to take notes?
17
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,305
- Hey Pam, stay.
- Okay.
18
00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:58,725
Um
19
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:03,438
Alright.
Well, then I will proceed.
20
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,731
I just have some
21
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734
questions that I
was going to ask.
22
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,238
Um.
23
00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:17,577
Who do you think you are?
24
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,584
I'm Toby.
25
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:27,796
Yeah, correct.
26
00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,131
Um.
27
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:32,676
What gives? What...
28
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,595
What gives you the right?
29
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:39,933
I brought the binder.
30
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:41,685
Do you want to take
a little look?
31
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:42,936
- Sure.
You know what?
32
00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,771
That sounds good.
I'll take a little looksie.
33
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,107
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
34
00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:55,365
What would you improve
about Dunder Mifflin?
35
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,075
- This place? Um,
I got some ideas.
36
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,493
No, no, no, no, no, no.
37
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,162
No, I'm not asking it.
I'm just reading it out loud.
38
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,206
I'd like to hear the answer.
39
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,253
- Well, let me see.
I would, um...
40
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:19,806
(whispering) I'll kill you.
41
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,269
I guess everything's okay.
42
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:26,896
I made it this far, right?
43
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,606
What's the point?
44
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,775
- Toby, why don't you open
your present?
45
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,612
- No, no, no, no, no.
No, hey, hey, hey.
46
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,615
This might not be what I
think that I don't even know
47
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:39,868
is in there because there are
a lot of presents in my car
48
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,369
and I don't know which is
which.
49
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,538
Suck on this.
50
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,335
What the hell is that?
51
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,419
- Michael?
- That's,
52
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,421
what do you mean, Michael?
53
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,132
That's not even
my handwriting.
54
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:58,261
Hey, what the hell
is going on here?
55
00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:00,180
Who thought it would be
56
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:03,975
hysterical to give Toby a rock
for his going away gift?
57
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,393
- You did?
- No!
58
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,979
- You made me wrap it. I
thought it was over the line.
59
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,065
- Okay, you know what that is?
You know what that is?
60
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,524
That is
61
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,528
a psych.
62
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,198
Psych.
63
00:03:18,239 --> 00:03:20,367
So, that is not
my real gift to Toby.
64
00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:21,451
So, what is your gift?
65
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:23,453
My gift is forthcoming, Pam.
66
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:24,954
What is it?
67
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:31,586
- I am going to give Toby...
- Your watch?
68
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,383
Yes, I am.
69
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,718
That was it.
70
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,346
- How did you know that?
- I just knew.
71
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,140
- How did you know?
- Oh, that is so sweet.
72
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,185
- Well, that's my watch.
- Thanks.
73
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,354
I'm going to set it to
Costa Rica time.
74
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,563
Hey, that's good.
75
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:53,108
- It's the kid, look, look,
look, look.
76
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:56,528
Hey, it's the temp, look.
77
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,613
- Oh, my gosh.
- It's the temp.
78
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,282
- Is that the police?
- Yes.
79
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,867
Well, this is what happened.
80
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,619
Ryan's big project was
81
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,872
the web site,
which wasn't doing so well.
82
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,290
So, Ryan,
83
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,544
to give the impression of
sales, recorded them twice.
84
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,212
Once as office sales, and once
85
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,047
as web site sales,
which is what we refer
86
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,050
to in the business as
misleading the shareholders.
87
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,928
Another good term is fraud.
88
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:26,725
The real crime, I think,
was the beard.
89
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,894
(upbeat theme music)
90
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:51,249
- Oh, my God, Ryan.
- Oh, my God.
91
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,084
- Troy, do you
know anything about this?
92
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,294
Maybe I do.
93
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:56,463
- Maybe I do. Enough
of your magical riddles.
94
00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,342
{\an8}- I cannot wait to visit
Ryan in prison.
95
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,885
{\an8}I'm going to wear my hottest
96
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,763
{\an8}tracksuit and get my hair done
and then be like, Hi, Ryan.
97
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,431
{\an8}And then all the other
prisoners are going to be
98
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:09,976
{\an8}like, damn, Ryan,
you got a hot ex-girlfriend.
99
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,603
{\an8}Oh, I would've never
treated her so
100
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:13,772
{\an8}bad when I was
outside of prison.
101
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,360
Play it again.
102
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:21,279
- [Holly] What's protocol on
this?
103
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,698
{\an8}- Don't really do
nothing, I guess.
104
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,329
(knock at the door)
105
00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:31,831
{\an8}Michael, are you okay?
106
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,292
{\an8}- I'm just worried
about my friend.
107
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,919
{\an8}Of course, you are.
108
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,879
I'm fine.
109
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,465
{\an8}I'm holding it together.
I have a business to run.
110
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:41,966
No, hey, stop.
111
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,678
You can let yourself be upset.
He's your friend.
112
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,976
You know what I usually find?
113
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:54,979
{\an8}Holly is sweet and simple.
114
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,898
{\an8}Like a lady baker.
115
00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:01,569
{\an8}I would not be surprised
to find out that she had
116
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,030
{\an8}worked in a bakery
before coming here.
117
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,740
{\an8}She's that kind of warmth.
118
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,621
{\an8}I'm pretty sure she's baked
on a professional level.
119
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:15,583
{\an8}- And if the food stations
are here and here.
120
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,710
{\an8}No,
121
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:18,878
{\an8}here and here.
122
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,172
Drinks here, then
people can mingle.
123
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,091
But then where
would the band go?
124
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,761
- What about there?
- No, Bob.
125
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,555
I don't know.
126
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:29,848
It's times like these.
127
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:32,475
I wish my mother were
with me right now.
128
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:36,271
She'd show me what to do,
but that's stupid.
129
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:37,731
She's not here.
130
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:44,362
She's at Water Aerobics
for the next 45 minutes.
131
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,239
- Phyllis, is that going
to be enough food?
132
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,699
- That's all I have
in the budget.
133
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,660
- Is it just a matter
of money?
134
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,913
Oh, Bob.
135
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,042
Anything for my lovely.
136
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,877
What would I do without you?
137
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,171
- I hope you never
have to find out.
138
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,923
See you at the party.
139
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,968
Play it again.
140
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,060
Hey, I got all your texts.
141
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,103
- What's up?
- Darryl.
142
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,698
Ryan thinks he's so cool
143
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,117
getting carted off to prison
in a designer suit.
144
00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,536
Well, guess what.
You'll get yours one day, Ryan.
145
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,289
- Would you do me a favor
and connect me to Ryan?
146
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,791
Absolutely.
147
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,213
(clears throat)
148
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,256
Right to voicemail.
149
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,968
Hey, Ryan, it's Jim.
You know what?
150
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:51,680
Totally disregard that last
voicemail because you
151
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,556
obviously have
your hands tied.
152
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:54,974
Good luck.
153
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,813
**
154
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,775
Cool. A bouncy house.
155
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,902
- Kevin, take your
shoes off first.
156
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,822
**
157
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,783
No antigravity machine, huh?
158
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,327
- Sorry, Michael, I don't
think they're real.
159
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:16,204
- Ferris wheel is
pretty cool, though.
160
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,832
- Wow.
Look at our parking lot.
161
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:21,001
Yeah, who would've thought?
162
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:27,841
**
163
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,095
- Is Jim going
to propose tonight?
164
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:33,763
He is, isn't he?
165
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,223
No, he's not.
166
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,267
Is he?
167
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,814
- Oh, he didn't
just eat, did he?
168
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,692
- I don't know.
He's kind of always eating.
169
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,821
- You know, there's not enough
barbecue sauce for the ribs.
170
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,865
- Can one of you pick up
some more?
171
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,199
Phyllis?
172
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,953
I'll take care of it.
I mean, you can't throw
173
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:59,539
a party without the help of
the committee, can you?
174
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,833
- That would be terrific,
Angela.
175
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,501
It would really mean a lot.
176
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,003
It's no problem, Phyllis.
177
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,925
**
178
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:15,555
**
179
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,434
- Why don't we eat more corn
dogs? They're delicious.
180
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,936
- Totally. They're the best.
- Corn dogs should be
181
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,564
the standard. Corn dogs
should be called hot dogs.
182
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,067
And hot dogs should
be called bad dogs.
183
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,569
- Why don't we make
corn burgers?
184
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,321
- What a messed-up world.
185
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,116
- Seriously, do you
like my idea?
186
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,702
Corn burgers?
187
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,038
- Hey, why don't we go
on the Ferris wheel?
188
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,123
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
189
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,795
**
190
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,215
Hey, Creed.
191
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,593
- Hey.
- Go, go, go. Jim, shut it.
192
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,596
- Creed, I think Pam and I
were just going to...
193
00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:59,099
- Shut it,
Thank you.
194
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:06,022
**
195
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:12,696
What do we have?
196
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,073
They say that they
have ribs on the way.
197
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,658
Oh, yeah.
198
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,577
But if you line up enough corn
dogs, it looks just like ribs.
199
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,330
- Yes, that's true.
- Can't beat a corn dog.
200
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:25,667
- Yes, you can't. I'll have
50 corn dogs, sir?
201
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:30,880
So, I'm going to start walking
around, I guess.
202
00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:35,927
Heading in a direction
a lot of different...
203
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,762
Which way?
Which way should I head?
204
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,597
- Do you think?
- That way?
205
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,934
- No, I'm not gonna...
- That way?
206
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,145
All right, that sounds good.
207
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,772
- It was a pretty
good company
208
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,691
but I just couldn't
see a future there.
209
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,110
They kept hiring
from the outside.
210
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,321
It was easy to get in,
but impossible to rise up.
211
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:56,614
That's what she...
212
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,700
A lot of places are like that.
213
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:02,203
- I think it's really
cool you hired Kevin.
214
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,663
Thanks.
215
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:09,127
**
216
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,839
Now?
217
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,260
**
218
00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,305
- You have it?
- Almost.
219
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,686
- Here we go. Here we go.
Put it in.
220
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,441
That's my car.
221
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:35,028
Hey, what are you doing?
222
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,113
Mose!
223
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:38,365
- What the hell is
going on here?
224
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,991
- Nothing you need to know
the details about.
225
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,409
- There is a raccoon
in the car, Dwight!
226
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,660
No, there's not.
227
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,662
- Why did you do that?
- It was playful hazing.
228
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,457
- No, there's no such
thing as playful hazing.
229
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,168
Dwight, I want you to look
at Holly right now.
230
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,796
Everybody, I want you
to look at Holly right now.
231
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,339
And maybe if you look at her
232
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:57,384
deeply enough, you will
see what I see in her.
233
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:02,597
And that is that we are all
very lucky to have her here.
234
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:05,433
Holly is the best thing
235
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:10,647
that has happened to this
company since World War II.
236
00:12:10,689 --> 00:12:13,066
50 years.
She is the best.
237
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,027
Take care of that.
All right?
238
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,987
- It's not rabid.
- Shh.
239
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:19,864
- Thanks for
bringing that up.
240
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,658
Get it out.
Come on, get out.
241
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:23,702
- I'm really sorry.
- Michael,
242
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,496
thank you so much
for saying that.
243
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:29,249
I feel so welcome here.
244
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:35,422
Um, excuse me.
245
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,677
- Did you see that?
Did you see it?
246
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,095
Did you see what?
247
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:43,930
Wow, wee.
248
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:46,349
Well, Jan didn't believe
249
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:50,020
in showing affection, so
sometimes I don't know how
250
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,063
to react when her
girl touches me.
251
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:56,443
Oh, I like it.
(laughs)
252
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,906
- Hey, Mrs.
Vance, we're all out.
253
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:05,118
- Hey, Angela, we need
the barbecue sauce.
254
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:06,161
Wow.
255
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,872
Did I forget to buy more?
256
00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:10,331
Now you know what it feels
257
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,917
like to have
an incompetent assistance.
258
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,212
**
259
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,382
- Hey, Kev, I need
you to do me
260
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:22,385
a solid and go buy some
more barbecue sauce.
261
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:24,929
Okay.
262
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,895
- Cool. You drive your
own car?
263
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,147
Yup, this is my car.
264
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,399
Do you drive your own car?
265
00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:41,154
- Yup, just like you.
- Okay, Bye.
266
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:42,489
Bye.
267
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:48,078
Kevin, I'm
really proud of you.
268
00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,834
I need you to make
269
00:13:54,876 --> 00:13:57,295
an announcement that this
party is a disaster.
270
00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:00,382
- But I don't think
it's a disaster.
271
00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:02,717
I think it's fun
and I like the food.
272
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,761
- Deep fried Twinkies.
It's gross.
273
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:06,429
- Is that what that is?
- Yes.
274
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:07,972
- You know what?
I didn't try those.
275
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,474
I can try this
276
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:11,518
Ugh.
277
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:14,521
Fried Twinkies.
You kidding me?
278
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,148
Starting to wonder about
the food in this place.
279
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:20,068
Oh, God, that is so good.
280
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,698
- All right, let's
hear it for Phyllis
281
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,908
for this awesome party, huh?
282
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,077
Probably the best
one that we've ever had.
283
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,537
(applause and cheering)
284
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:34,416
But the real reason that we
are here is to say goodbye
285
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:38,253
to a guy who we will probably
never, ever see again.
286
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:39,671
And who will probably never
287
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:44,592
even visit because Puerto Rico
is so very far away.
288
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:48,346
I would like to bring
up Toby Flenderson.
289
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,016
Come on up here.
Come on. No, no, no.
290
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,934
- No, that's okay.
- Toby.
291
00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:59,232
[Everyone] Toby, Toby, Toby,
Toby, Toby, Toby.
292
00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:02,110
- Toby has written
a fantastic speech for you.
293
00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,362
He spent a year on it.
294
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,031
It's very funny and charming
295
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,533
and heartwarming,
and it rhymes.
296
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,578
And if it's not any good,
he has instructed us all
297
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,748
to storm the stage and beat
him to a bloody pulp.
298
00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:15,790
No. (laughs)
299
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,834
So, take it away,
Toby!
300
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:20,420
Woo!
(clapping)
301
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,131
Well, uh, okay.
302
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,801
It's really great
to be here tonight.
303
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:31,765
The Ferris wheel, the band,
and the low sunlight.
304
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,684
I'll miss you all when
I go to Costa Rica.
305
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:36,644
And if I keep drinking beer
306
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,522
like this, I'm going
to have to take a leak-a.
307
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,940
(laughter)
308
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:42,984
- On a more personal note,
I just want to say thanks.
309
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:45,987
No matter what was
going on in my life,
310
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:48,531
my divorce or the custody
311
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,575
battle or that thing
with my sister,
312
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:54,287
it was just nice knowing I had
a supportive place to come to.
313
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:56,373
- Okay, play the cut off music.
- No.
314
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,999
- I'm going to really
miss going
315
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,502
to Beers with you guys
every Tuesday night.
316
00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,087
Yeah.
317
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:05,215
- And lastly, I'd love to urge
you to keep up with my fight,
318
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:08,134
to have the building
checked for radon gas.
319
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:10,136
You know,
It's a real serious matter.
320
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:12,347
And every time I try to
have the...
321
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:15,016
- Blah, blah, blah,
overstaying your welcome.
322
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,685
Let's keep it moving.
Let's keep it moving.
323
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,436
Toby, everybody
324
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,854
(applause)
325
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,690
- Now a lot of
you know that I
326
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,317
- am an accomplished songwriter.
- Song, parody writer.
327
00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,404
- I have done things
like Beers in Heaven.
328
00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:30,323
- Classic.
- Or Total Eclipse of the Fart
329
00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:32,450
- I like that one.
- I love them to sing them,
330
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:35,620
but I am not going
to be doing that today.
331
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:36,746
I am going to be doing
332
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:39,457
something I wrote
specifically for Toby.
333
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,292
Do you know, um?
334
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,170
- Goodbye Stranger. Supertramp?
- Yeah.
335
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:45,964
**
336
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,508
* It was early morning,
yesterday *
337
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,095
* I was up before the dawn *
338
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:57,434
* and I really have
enjoyed my stay *
339
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,603
* Toby must be moving on *
340
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,648
When I had my colitis.
341
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,108
Toby was very helpful.
342
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:08,403
He gave me seven weeks off.
When I had my acid reflux,
343
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:12,407
Toby was not as helpful,
so, I'm mixed on Toby.
344
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,576
I gave Toby my buddy Jorge's
345
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,703
number in Costa. He'll hook
Toby up with everything.
346
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,329
Cable TV, women.
347
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:21,458
Oh, and this amazing
coffee to snort.
348
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,918
Toby seemed like a nice guy.
349
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,129
I never actually
talked to him.
350
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:28,423
About five years after we
started working together,
351
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:31,384
we were alone in the kitchen,
and I almost said something
352
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:34,387
to him,
but by then it seemed
353
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:37,223
there were more than enough
people to talk to already.
354
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:41,102
* Goodbye Toby,
it's been nice *
355
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:44,356
* Hope you find
your paradise *
356
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,149
I'm going to miss Toby.
357
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:50,111
He has a nice, calming
presence in the office.
358
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,613
And don't tell him I said
359
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:54,074
this, but I always thought
he was kind of cute.
360
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:58,244
* Come tomorrow,
feel no pain *
361
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:02,499
* Feel no pain *
362
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:10,298
* Toby, Toby, Toby *
363
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:13,301
* Toby's going away!
See ya *
364
00:18:13,343 --> 00:18:16,346
* He's outta here, see ya.
He's outta here *
365
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:22,894
* Goodbye Toby, Goodbye Toby,
Goodbye Toby *
366
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,355
* Goodbye Toby *
367
00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:27,899
- Toby is very old.
I think that it's good
368
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:31,528
that he's going to do some
things before he, you know,
369
00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:32,987
dies.
370
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,406
I'm going to cry now.
371
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,409
- The Finer Things Club is
going to have a spot to fill.
372
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,743
The candidates are Kevin,
373
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:42,330
Stanley, Meredith, Creed,
Phyllis, Angela, uh,
374
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:46,251
we may have to change it
to just The Things Club.
375
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,211
Toby is the flu.
376
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,714
When the flu is attacking your
body and making you sick
377
00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:53,174
and making you nauseous
and throwing up all over
378
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:57,345
the place, you have
to sweat it out.
379
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,597
And I had to sweat out Toby.
380
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,850
And I feel much better now.
381
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,728
Not bad.
382
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,646
Oh, hey, thanks.
383
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:08,982
- Someday I would love
to hear Beers in Heaven.
384
00:19:09,024 --> 00:19:09,983
Oh, okay.
385
00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:12,944
Yeah, well,
actually, too soon.
386
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,780
It's very sexual.
387
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,073
(cell phone ringing)
388
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:18,324
Sorry.
389
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:20,535
Kevin.
390
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:22,954
Kevin, where are you?
391
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,497
You missed my song, buddy.
392
00:19:24,539 --> 00:19:26,416
- Yeah, Michael,
I'm at Gerrity's.
393
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:27,917
You have to come down here.
394
00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:28,918
Just pay for it and we'll
395
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,128
reimburse you when
you get back.
396
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,838
No, I brought my money.
397
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,965
Michael, there's something
that you need to see.
398
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,009
- What is it?
- Just hurry.
399
00:19:37,218 --> 00:19:38,386
Is he okay?
400
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:40,555
- Yeah, he's at the supermarket,
he needs me.
401
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:43,016
- The party, driving
to the supermarket,
402
00:19:43,058 --> 00:19:44,309
it's a big day for him.
403
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,436
Yeah, that's true.
404
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,896
Don't move a muscle.
405
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,815
I will be back
momentarily, all right?
406
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:54,444
Finish your drink.
Okay. I'll be back.
407
00:19:56,571 --> 00:20:00,408
**
408
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,079
[Jan] It was good to see you.
409
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,791
- It was great to see Jan.
- Wow, okay.
410
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:11,252
- Hello, Jan.
- Hello, Michael.
411
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:13,463
- Wow.
Kevin really?
412
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,091
Sorry, we're in the middle
of a party.
413
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,258
Is this why you
called me down here?
414
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,427
Yeah, Michael, I just, uh...
415
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,597
I think you kids have
a lot to catch up on.
416
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:24,099
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
417
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,643
- Thanks, Kevin.
Um...
418
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:36,069
I can't believe it.
419
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,322
Look at you.
Are you nauseous?
420
00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:41,658
- No.
- Do you have cravings?
421
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,035
You never touched my Propecia
or my Accutane, did you?
422
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,245
- No.
- Good.
423
00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:48,206
Thank God.
Cause that's. Wow.
424
00:20:48,248 --> 00:20:49,332
I'm so happy.
425
00:20:49,374 --> 00:20:51,668
- I am so deliriously happy?
- Why?
426
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:54,212
- Because you're pregnant.
And because it obviously
427
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,213
happened when we
were together.
428
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:57,382
And I am very.
429
00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:59,718
- Yeah, it did happen
when we were together.
430
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,846
That's true, but you...
431
00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:05,598
are not...
432
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,768
uh, you're not the dad.
433
00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,780
You cheated on me?
434
00:21:20,822 --> 00:21:23,742
When I specifically
asked you not to?
435
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:27,954
- No, I did not.
I did not cheat on you.
436
00:21:28,246 --> 00:21:29,456
I did not.
437
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,668
Okay, so it's not mine.
438
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:35,378
And it's not somebody else's.
439
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:38,715
So, I know
440
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:42,260
the whole toilet seat
thing is a myth, so,
441
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,721
I went to a sperm bank.
442
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:48,141
- You did?
- Yeah.
443
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:49,851
- When we
were going out?
444
00:21:49,893 --> 00:21:51,269
Uh, yeah.
445
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:53,063
I don't understand.
446
00:21:53,438 --> 00:21:55,815
You always used
to be very cautious.
447
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,651
Wear two condoms.
448
00:21:59,194 --> 00:22:01,154
You'd rather have somebody
else's sperm than my sperm?
449
00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:04,866
- No, no, no. It's not just
any sperm bank.
450
00:22:04,908 --> 00:22:09,454
I mean, this is a really
great place. It's amazing
451
00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:11,414
actually. I'm going
to bring you the catalog.
452
00:22:11,456 --> 00:22:12,832
You should look through it.
453
00:22:12,874 --> 00:22:14,292
And in fact, it's right next
454
00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,796
to that little breakfast place
that you like in the city
455
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,547
where you can draw
on the tables.
456
00:22:19,589 --> 00:22:21,466
- IHop.
- IHop.
457
00:22:21,841 --> 00:22:23,843
If I was 22 and I had lots
458
00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:26,638
of time to have lots
of children, then sure.
459
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:27,972
Let's let Michael have
a shot at one of them.
460
00:22:28,014 --> 00:22:30,809
But honestly, I need
to make this one count.
461
00:22:31,184 --> 00:22:32,602
That's really good.
462
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:36,189
I feel so much better to get
all that out on the table.
463
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:37,565
I'm glad you told me.
464
00:22:37,607 --> 00:22:39,025
- Look, I don't
know what you're
465
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:41,027
going to be doing tomorrow,
but I have my Lamaze class
466
00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:45,323
in Allentown, and
you could come.
467
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:50,120
I usually use a foam noodle
instead of a partner.
468
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:56,042
- Um, I'll...
I'll have to think about it.
469
00:22:57,877 --> 00:22:59,045
Okay.
470
00:23:00,714 --> 00:23:03,049
My whole life, I
471
00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,510
have known two things.
472
00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:08,805
I love sex, and I
want to have kids.
473
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:10,432
And I always thought
474
00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:12,684
that those two things
would go hand in hand.
475
00:23:13,601 --> 00:23:16,229
But now I think it might
be one or the other.
476
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:19,190
Oh look, they're starting.
477
00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:21,443
(explosion)
478
00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:24,070
(firework crackling)
479
00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:26,906
(clapping and cheering)
480
00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:30,243
(firework crackling)
**
481
00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:36,666
* I say to myself, you're
such a lucky guy *
482
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:39,085
- Well, I hope you
had fun today
483
00:23:39,127 --> 00:23:42,213
because you're never,
ever throwing a party again.
484
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:48,845
* To have a girl like her is
truly a dream come true *
485
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:51,431
(firework exploding)
486
00:23:52,057 --> 00:23:59,481
* Out of all the fellows in
the world she belongs to me *
487
00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:01,483
(firework explosion)
488
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:05,236
* Well it was just
my imagination *
489
00:24:05,278 --> 00:24:06,279
Hey
490
00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,782
- Can I have your
attention, please?
491
00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:11,868
I was waiting for the right
492
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:15,246
time to do this,
and I can't think of a better
493
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:18,583
time than right now
with the music playing and all
494
00:24:18,625 --> 00:24:22,420
our friends around
and fireworks going off.
495
00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:24,172
My parents are here.
496
00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:25,924
Andrew and Ellen Bernard.
497
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:28,843
Thank you for sharing
in this joyous moment.
498
00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:33,139
Miss Angela Martin, will you
please join me on stage?
499
00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:37,727
Okay, then I will come
to you, my flower.
500
00:24:39,354 --> 00:24:40,313
Dammit!
501
00:24:43,692 --> 00:24:44,943
Angela.
502
00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:49,280
Will you do me the honor
503
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:55,662
of giving me your tiny hand
in marriage?
504
00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:05,005
Okay.
505
00:25:06,214 --> 00:25:07,590
Into the mic, sweetie.
506
00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:11,136
- I said, okay.
- She said, yes.
507
00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:12,595
(faint clapping)
508
00:25:12,637 --> 00:25:15,306
And the crowd goes wild.
509
00:25:15,849 --> 00:25:18,685
Woo!
(clears throat)
510
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:22,397
**
511
00:25:23,023 --> 00:25:24,024
(sigh)
512
00:25:25,358 --> 00:25:26,818
I've been carrying that ring
513
00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:30,697
around in my wallet for six
years because you don't know
514
00:25:30,739 --> 00:25:32,073
when you're going
to meet the right girl.
515
00:25:32,115 --> 00:25:34,409
And the moment is
going to be right.
516
00:25:34,451 --> 00:25:37,370
And tonight,
with the fireworks
517
00:25:37,412 --> 00:25:42,667
and the music and everything,
it was right.
518
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:45,253
- Can I be a bridesmaid?
- No.
519
00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:49,424
**
520
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:53,136
Well,
521
00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:57,182
it's my own fault.
522
00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:59,351
* *
523
00:25:59,392 --> 00:26:04,022
- Dude, I'm...
I'm engaged.
524
00:26:04,064 --> 00:26:06,524
- I know, it's awesome man.
It's great.
525
00:26:06,566 --> 00:26:09,319
Mr. Andrew Bernard.
526
00:26:10,695 --> 00:26:12,322
It's got a nice ring to it.
527
00:26:13,406 --> 00:26:17,702
- Hey. Hey, you know,
I just realized uh,
528
00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:19,871
I don't have a picture
of the two of us.
529
00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:21,956
- Oh, yeah.
- Could we?
530
00:26:21,998 --> 00:26:24,334
- Sure. Meredith, do
you mind?
531
00:26:25,794 --> 00:26:27,170
Okay.
532
00:26:29,422 --> 00:26:30,757
One, two, three.
**
533
00:26:32,842 --> 00:26:33,885
Let's do it again.
534
00:26:33,927 --> 00:26:35,387
Pam, your smile was weird.
535
00:26:35,428 --> 00:26:37,722
- Its digital so, take as
many as you want.
536
00:26:37,764 --> 00:26:40,016
**
537
00:26:40,058 --> 00:26:41,893
One, two, three.
(camera clicks)
538
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:44,854
One, two, three.
(camera clicks)
539
00:26:44,896 --> 00:26:46,231
I don't know, I just,
540
00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:49,901
I really thought Jim was
going to propose tonight.
541
00:26:52,904 --> 00:26:54,864
- Hey, there.
- Hey.
542
00:26:54,906 --> 00:26:56,658
- So, you missed
something really big?
543
00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:57,826
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
544
00:26:57,867 --> 00:26:59,619
Andy proposed to one
of your accountants.
545
00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:01,079
Oh, wow.
546
00:27:01,121 --> 00:27:02,997
I mean, that's as specific
as I can be on my first day.
547
00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:05,625
- Well, I can see Andy
proposing to Angela.
548
00:27:05,667 --> 00:27:07,544
I can also see him
proposing to Oscar.
549
00:27:09,212 --> 00:27:11,089
So, you know
550
00:27:11,131 --> 00:27:15,510
somehow, after all those ribs,
I'm still really hungry.
551
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:17,512
I was thinking of maybe going
552
00:27:17,554 --> 00:27:20,098
off campus somewhere
and getting some dessert.
553
00:27:20,140 --> 00:27:22,767
Oh, well, you know what?
554
00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:24,936
You should go
to the Glider Diner.
555
00:27:25,562 --> 00:27:26,980
Ask Stanley about that.
556
00:27:27,022 --> 00:27:29,941
- Practically lives there.
- Okay.
557
00:27:29,983 --> 00:27:32,318
- I'll go to the
diner with you.
558
00:27:32,652 --> 00:27:34,154
That would be great.
559
00:27:34,863 --> 00:27:36,740
We can go eat pie.
560
00:27:36,781 --> 00:27:39,993
- I love pie.
- Me too.
561
00:27:41,077 --> 00:27:42,370
- Have a good night.
- Okay.
562
00:27:42,412 --> 00:27:43,496
Bye.
563
00:27:53,173 --> 00:27:55,216
Yeah, it was a good day.
564
00:27:55,258 --> 00:27:57,886
I mean, first days are
always the hardest, right?
565
00:27:58,345 --> 00:27:59,637
Well, I should go?
566
00:27:59,679 --> 00:28:01,431
I got to buckle him in.
567
00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:06,853
Well, this is it.
568
00:28:06,895 --> 00:28:08,855
I am here to see you off.
569
00:28:08,897 --> 00:28:12,233
- Thanks.
Really Michael?
570
00:28:12,275 --> 00:28:14,611
- Sorry, Corporate policy.
- It's not.
571
00:28:14,652 --> 00:28:15,945
You might take something.
572
00:28:15,987 --> 00:28:17,489
- I don't think he's
going to take anything.
573
00:28:17,530 --> 00:28:19,240
- Okay,
security guard.
574
00:28:21,493 --> 00:28:22,410
(watch beeping)
575
00:28:22,452 --> 00:28:24,454
- Some kind of alarm.
- Okay.
576
00:28:25,872 --> 00:28:29,959
Hi, Jan, it's Michael.
I just, um,
577
00:28:30,627 --> 00:28:32,003
I just want to let you know
578
00:28:32,045 --> 00:28:36,383
that I am going to go to your
Lamaze class tomorrow.
579
00:28:37,634 --> 00:28:41,638
And if there's any details you
need to fill me in on like,
580
00:28:42,681 --> 00:28:45,725
what exactly Lamaze is,
that would be great.
581
00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:48,937
And I will see you
tomorrow morning.
582
00:28:53,858 --> 00:28:58,238
I am going to be
kind of a Daddy.
583
00:29:05,328 --> 00:29:06,913
- Party planning
is a real high.
584
00:29:06,955 --> 00:29:08,456
Like a runner's high.
585
00:29:11,668 --> 00:29:15,463
(crashing sound)
(moaning)
586
00:29:19,175 --> 00:29:22,053
(heavy breathing)
587
00:29:23,263 --> 00:29:26,516
(Gasp)
(thumping sound)
588
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,687
(upbeat theme music)
39121
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