All language subtitles for BAT-FAM.S01E03.1080p.WEB.h264-DOLORES

Hello?

Hey, who's groaning? What, do you guys
got tummy aches or something?

Mad Hatter? But Batman got rid
of all the villains in Gotham!

It was only a matter of time before
we returned, and I didn't return alone.

That's what we call a cue,
Sad Hatter.

Dad, just call me Stella.
This is so humiliating.

No, humiliating is telling your friends
that my kids moved back home

because her poetry degree didn't yield
the career opportunities she'd hoped for.

Pottery. I majored in pottery.

Poetry, pottery, potato, po-tot-ery.
Put him under your thrall.

-Okay. How do I--
-No, no, no. Not that button.

-That one, small one. No, to the left.
-Stop it! I'm trying!

Forget it. I'll just do it!

-All right. Let's get what we came for.
-And what might that be?

Oh, no. We're busted.
Let's get out of here.

Guards! Get the Bat.

-Get him, Sad Hatter!
-I won't ask again.

What are you here for?

Dad, just tell him we're looking for the--

Allow me to shed some light
on what they're looking for.

-Is this a friend of yours, Hatter?
-We're not friends.

We're just looking for the same thing.

This tea party's getting a little crowded.

'Til next time, Bats.

Sorry, Bats. Crime is back in Gotham.

Not if I can help it, Joker.

Ooh, I'm so scared.

-Adult diapers, don't fail me now!
-Ready the Bat Trap, Robin.

Copy that, Master Batman.

Hey, Joker can't fly. No fair!

Your Batman game isn't fair.
I didn't get to kill Robin.

Next time, I get to kill Robin.

Now, it's on to my chores.

Your father asked me
to run a diagnostic on the Exo-Bat.

-Can I help?
-Perhaps.

First, Robin must prepare lunch,
just as soon as I get out of these tights.

How does grilled cheese sound, then?

Good morning, Uncle Alfred.

Someone's in an especially chipper mood.

I decided to give myself the day off.

Wonderful.
You're just in time for lunch.

Oh, what are you making?

Grilled cheese for master Damian.

Beef Wellington for Bruce.
Salsa crabcakes for Clare.

And for Ra’s, quail l’orange.

-Mmm, looks great, Alfred.
-Grilled awesomeness, Robin!

-Crab cakes in the house!
-Raw eggs at room temperature.

My favorite.

I demanded this quail be alive. No fair!

Quail can't phase through ceilings!
No fair.

You make all this for lunch every day?

Nothing brings more pleasure.

Come on, Alicia. Don't you remember
how much Alfred loved fawning over us?

Yeah, we were five.

You're an adult, BW,
and he still waits on you hand and foot.

-I mean, not hand and foot.
-Beg your pardon, sir.

It looks like you could use a hand
and a foot.

Oh, thanks, Alfred.

I'd like to point out that I only recently
started taking advantage of Alfred.

-Alfred? Can I get more red sauce?
-No one takes advantage of Alfred, Alicia.

May I have a glass of milk, please?

Well, off to turn over the beds.

I'm trying a new detergent.

I won't spoil the scent,
but it rhymes with "mavender."

Don't you ever want to scream,
"I've had enough?"

You must want to do something
for yourself.

Well, let me think.

I've spent almost every day of my life
with Alfred.

If there was anything fun
he wanted to do, I'd know.

I suppose I'd fancy a family picnic.

Wait, BW,
are you saying I don't know my own uncle?

What? Come on.
No, Alisha, that's not what I meant.

-Oh, perhaps what he meant--
-I mean, if we're being totally honest,

you haven't been around as much.

-What's that supposed to mean?
-Things in here getting a bit awkward.

Do you want to go in
the other room and watch TV?

Oh, robot voice.

Yes, Claire, let's talk
like robots in the other room.

If anyone needs me, I'll be sitting here
watching this argument.

You don't know what I'm thinking!

Tell you what, let's make today
"Alfred Fun Day."

We could take him snorkeling
or mechanical bull riding or skydiving.

Or, because he's 90, maybe like
shuffleboard, bingo, or gardening.

I don't know if I'm worth that trouble.
As I said, a simple picnic would suffice.

-Of course you're worth it, Alfred.
-Come on, Unc, let's have some fun.

-Yeah, some nice, safe fun.
-I think you mean...

Playing robot alone, not boring.

A break in at
a Wayne Enterprises warehouse--

Wait! Turn it back!
Please! Turn it back! Please!

-Does this sign mean nothing?
-Turn it back! Turn it back! Turn it back!

-Turn it back! Turn it back!
-Okay.

Mad Hatter has returned to Gotham
along with an accomplice,

who we are learning
goes by the name Sad Hatter.

Batman was reportedly on the scene,
as was this mysterious bright figure.

What were the Hatters after?
Is this Bright friend or foe?

And most pressing,
is crime returning to Gotham?

Selina, which one of these screams fun?

You're right. It's obvious.

-Daaaaad...
-Uh-oh, someone saw the news.

Is the Mad Hatter really back?

What does he want?
What's it do with Bright?

Why do you have three of the same shirts?
And how could you go on patrol without me?

Yes, not sure yet.
Also not sure yet. Not sure.

And you know the rule.
No patrol on school nights.

I know, but Mad Hatter
brought his kid out.

Damian, I know we made a Little Batman
official last Christmas,

but you still have a list of when you're
allowed and not allowed to be Batman.

You can't be Batman any of these times.
Only when I say.

Fine!
So can we go after Mad Hatter now?

Mad Hatter is unpredictable and dangerous.
You'll just have to be patient.

Patient? Sure! I've been practicing.

See? Now, can we go? Please!

We'll bat chat about the Hatters later.

Uncle Alfred.
You have a wet suit, right?

And shark repellant?

I'm worried about a bigger threat.
Alicia, no shark anything!

Bat-flip! Stay away from the ocean.

Hmm...

"When I say."

When I say...

You know, Selina, if you think about it,
it's not really clear who "I" is here.

I mean, "I" could be anyone.

It almost depends who's reading this,

like if I read it,
Little Batman can go after the Hatters,

when I say, then "I" is me,
and if that's the case,

then I say I can go after him, right?

Yeah, okay, it's thin,
but I'm rolling with it. To the Batcave!

Damian, are you in here? Whoa!

It's just the Exo-Bat.
Alfred's running diagnostics on it.

Oh, cool. So I got your text.

-What's the emergency?
-It's not an emergency.

A bat-mergency.

Yeah, I've been meaning
to talk to you guys

about the whole
"bat" in front of everything.

It's kind of played out.

That's your bat-pinion.

Listen, Mad and Sad Hatter
are on the loose.

-Not that interested.
-Come on.

I need an ex-criminal mind to help me
figure out where they'll strike next.

Mad Hatter is a deadly supervillain.

And you are just a kid.

I'm no kid. I'm vengeance.

Think hard about my warning.

Vengeance doesn't think!

This is pointless.
You're just going to do what you want.

Vengeance always does what it wants.

Well, we could always ask
Pap Pap for help.

No, you're right.

We need information,
not merciless bloodshed.

What other villains do we know?

Look what we have bat-here.

-Um...
-No shark wrestling.

-I see, um...
-Shark wrestling is rejuvenating.

What part of "your uncle
is 90 years old" isn't clicking for you?

I’d enter him in
the 80+ division.

I think my activities will be more fun.

Bruce Wayne wouldn’t know fun
if it came up to him in clown shoes.

Trust me, Alicia, clowns are no fun.

Please, let's not quarrel.

Why, this afternoon with just the two of
you is all the fun I could ever imagine.

Except, of course, for the family picnic.

He's right, Alicia. We shouldn't argue.

Yeah, today's about Alfred having fun.
It's not like it's a contest or anything.

Yeah, but if Alfred should mention
that he enjoys my activity over yours--

Or mine over yours--

-We'd have to listen and take it to heart.
-Or else we'd be ignoring Alfred.

Hard to imagine, really.

We bought bath bombs, scented candles
and a cornucopia of chocolates...

...worthy of Ra.

I'm so proud of us
for not stealing anything.

Ow, my cankles!

It’s the Bat-boy from my nightmares!

I need information.

What would Mad Hatter
want from Wayne Enterprises?

We already told you,
we're regular people now.

-No!
-Wait!

The Mad Hatter can be quite persistent.
No doubt he's still looking for it.

You mean continue targeting
Wayne Enterprises's facilities?

But there are dozens in Gotham.

Uh, maybe the next closest one?

Of course. It's so obvious.

Kinda... I mean, I'm surprised
you didn’t-- Oh. He’s gone.

He's not coming back for us, is he?

Really Alicia? Axe-throwing?
What were you thinking?

What's important is Alfred liked it.

Fine.
Let's just ask Alfred what was more fun?

Great idea. Be my guest.

Uh... Bruce.

You must've left him at--

What's wrong, old man?
Looking for the bingo hall?

Ha! Give up, Fireball.
There's no way you could beat me.

What? How'd you beat me?

Claire! I think I figured out where
the Hatters are going to strike next.

Now, I just need to know when.

Don't you ever take a break?

Justice never takes breaks.

Breaks? That's it.

Last night's robbery took place
during the guard shift break.

The Hatters must have access
to the guard schedules.

You know what this means?

It means your father
has shown weakness again

by granting these so-called
guards' breaks.

Sure, Pap Pap.

But it also means the Hatters
will probably try again tonight,

which would be in less than an hour.

I cracked the case.
Damian bringing it in. Whoo-hoo!

Hmm, you figured it out.

-Does this mean you want to help?
-Nope. Deal me in, Pap Pap.

Thank you, Gutter Slug!

I shall send you
that quiche Lorraine recipe ASAP.

And don't forget, bingo is on
Tuesday nights at the Bloody Barrel.

Who knew fun could be so exhausting?

Suit up, Robin.
The Hatters are on the move.

It's up to the dynamic duo
to put an end to their reign of terror.

Oh, little one, I don't, um...

Perhaps we should alert your father.

I tried calling him,
but he didn't pick up.

I don't know where he is.

Okay, we're looking for a sweet old man

with brittle joints
who will do anything for you.

-Now, where is he?
-Don't mind him.

He's wearing his not-fun shirt today.

I'd love to join you, but you see,

the Boy Wonder
can hardly move these old bones.

Then don't move them.

The Exo-Bat can do
all your bone-moving for you.

Young man, are you suggesting
I don the Batman's experimental,

highly dangerous, weaponized armor
without properly field testing it first?

-Why on earth would I--
-Please!

Oh, well...

-Okay.
-Yeah!

Look out, Gotham! Here comes Exo-Bat!

These mech controls are quite... complex.

Don't worry, we'll take it slow.

Alfred, are you here?

Look, Alfred left a note.
He and Damian are running an errand.

He's fine.

Okay. What gives?

You've been really overprotective all day.

Well, you may not really know
this about me,

but I'm not great at...
showing... emotion.

You? No!

You're right, though.
Alfred does wait on me hand and foot,

-But I know he really likes it, and...
-And?

And I like it, too.

It's how we show each other... you know.

I know.

Well, I guess I got defensive,
and I overcorrected,

which made things ugly.

Yes. Yes, you did, Bruce.

And so did I. Maybe I felt guilty.
Like I had some catching up to do.

I guess we both owe Alfred an apology.

And a do-over fun day.

If you guys need anything, I'll be here
watching you resolve your problem.

Looks like I got
a little emergency at work.

Sad Hatter, how's your search going?

What?

Stella, I'm beginning to think you don't
even take this job seriously at all.

Take it seriously?
Have you seen your hat?

-I was right, there they are!
-Well done, master Batman.

Time to make a cool Batman entrance.

Just a moment. Your father's been alerted
and should be here momentarily.

But that might be too late.
Plus, we've got Exo-Bat's assault mode.

Damian, wait.

-Oh, my...
-Don't worry, Exo-Bat, I've got you!

Not the entrance I'd hoped for.

Well, I don't know, it worked for me.

And I’d thought I’d done my share
of dangling from traps for the day.

Don't worry. I'll get us out of this.

When do we get a break?

I'm tired. Uh, Dad.

Behold! These meddlesome interlopers
shall learn the hard way

to never cross the Hatters, Mad and Sad!

Ow...

Now, that's an entrance.

-We'll talk about this later.
-Now, don't be so hard on the boy.

I'm talking to both of you.

All right, Hatter,
I'm getting tired of asking you this.

What are you after?

Well, if you're so tired,
why not take a rest?

Here, look into my hat.

You don't think I'd fall for...

Wow. That's Bright.

What are you doing here, Bright?

Easy, Batman. I'm not here for you.

Just stay out of my way.

Gotcha.

Oh, oh...

Dad, no!

So many heroes. Let's clean house.

Let's clean house.

Oh, where did he go?

Easy now, Bats, before someone gets--

Now, Batman, destroy your friends.

Come on, Dad, what we came for isn't here.

-So let's just go.
-Let Daddy have his fun, dear.

Must destroy.

Dad! Please! Stop! It’s us!

Must destroy bat-friends.

Sir, please.

Alfred!

Wait, Dad, stop. Please.

Okay, big guy. Let’s go! Round two.

I’m sorry for getting you into this mess.

-It is not entirely your fault, child.
-It isn't?

Well, most of it is.

While nothing brings me more pleasure
than bringing joy to those I love,

this most exhausting day has shown me
that I do have weaknesses.

Exo-Bat has a weakness?
What is it? Kryptonite? The color yellow?

Saying your name backwards? Derfla?

Actually, son, it's my inability
to tell those I love "no."

Oh, I see.

Well, then, I guess
Little Batman has a weakness too.

The inability to hear "no."
I have been told I could be more patient.

Guess we both
got something to work on, huh?

Too bad we won't have the chance.

-Stay put, young man.
-What are you going to do?

What I should have done
at the first mention of Alfred Fun Day.

Must destroy bat-friends.

No!

-What?
-Wow...

I love you very much,

and you know I'll care for you
and our family until my final days.

Impossible!

He's intensifying Batman's willpower.

It's breaking my neuro-hypnotic
hold on him.

But no longer will
I suffer holding my tongue.

I shall speak when I need to,
and you shall listen.

-Starting now.
-Come on, Dad.

So listen to me, sir.

That's enough.

Stella, help me!

-Use your hat.
-No, this isn't me.

I want to be a graphic designer!

What?

Dad, you broke Mad Hatter's hold.

I... But...

-The Hatters are gone.
-And so is Bright, I'm afraid.

And we still don't know who he was
or what the Mad Hatter was after.

We'll find out in due time, sir.

Yeah, Dad. Be patient.

Nice job tracking the Mad Hatter,
but it doesn't make up

for breaking the rules
and going on patrol on a school night.

Technically, if you read them closely,
I didn't break the rules.

Let me guess. You're going
with a loose interpretation of "I."

How wonderful. A breakfast picnic with all
of my favorite people. And Ra's.

This was all Alicia's idea.

And a delightful one.

Sorry, Unc, and we promise to do
a better job listening to what you want.

And I'll do a better job of speaking up.

Say, Alfred, old chum, pass me a muffin.

No.