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>> KRIS: Khloe, would you help
me do the dishes?
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Thanks.
>> KHLOE: I'm the red-headed
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00:00:14,066 --> 00:00:17,400
stepchild.
"Khloe, do this.
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00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,033
Khloe, do that."
>> KOURTNEY (in accent): Robert.
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00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:21,500
>> ROBERT: What?
>> KOURTNEY: Do you feel like
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00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,700
getting a CD out of my car?
>> ROBERT: Ask Khloe.
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00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,600
She's the stepchild.
>> KHLOE: This is sick.
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00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,800
Who washes plastic?
>> KRIS: Who wants water?
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00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:29,967
Kourtney, you want some water?
>> KOURTNEY: Can I have it with
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00:00:29,967 --> 00:00:32,233
some lemon, please?
>> KRIS: Lemon?
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00:00:32,233 --> 00:00:34,333
Sure, sweetie.
Here, can you just throw that
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00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,333
away?
Thanks.
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>> KHLOE: I'm thirsty, too.
>> KOURTNEY: No ice?
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00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:42,700
>> KHLOE: Can I do anything for
you, Kourt?
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00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,934
Rub your back?
Mom, what would you like-- a
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00:00:44,934 --> 00:00:48,367
manicure, pedicure, bikini wax?
>> KRIS: There's just a few more
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00:00:48,367 --> 00:00:50,433
plates here, Khloe, and then
you'll be done.
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00:00:50,433 --> 00:00:54,967
>> KHLOE: Oh, I'll show you
done, bitch.
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00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,900
>> All right, we're ready.
>> KRIS: No, no, no, you're
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00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,834
right here.
>> KHLOE: The wind, you guys--
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00:00:58,834 --> 00:01:01,433
is this necessary?
>> KOURTNEY: No, that is not
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00:01:01,433 --> 00:01:03,700
cute.
>> Yeah, yeah, go on.
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00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,033
>> ROBERT: I need someone to
make me laugh.
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00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:08,233
>> KRIS: Where's Kim?
Kim is always late. Duh.
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00:01:08,233 --> 00:01:10,734
>> KIM: I'm here.
>> KOURTNEY: Get out of our way.
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00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:12,934
>> KIM: Stop, jealous.
>> KRIS: That's enough.
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That's enough.
>> KIM: Stop.
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>> All right, you guys.
>> That's it, we're done.
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00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:23,800
Captioning sponsored by
BUNIM-MURRAY PRODUCTIONS
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00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,800
>> KHLOE: Is this a pimp-and-
hoes party?
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>> KOURTNEY: Wait, where?
>> KHLOE: This.
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00:01:27,066 --> 00:01:29,000
Wow, you guys all look like
whores.
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00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,133
>> KOURTNEY: It is.
>> KHLOE: Look at Dad.
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00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:32,967
I am so not a part of this
family.
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00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:36,200
Look how big my nose is.
Like your skin color,
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00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,900
your hair color, everything.
I do not look like you guys.
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>> KOURTNEY: Khloe, yes, you do.
>> KHLOE: No, I don't.
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00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,433
You and Kim look identical.
I look like I am adopted, I
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00:01:45,433 --> 00:01:47,600
swear.
You guys, just show me the birth
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00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,400
certificates and I'll be fine.
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00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:01,100
I am going to go find my real
birth parents.
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00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:03,633
>> KIM: I think Khloe's adopted.
>> KHLOE: Give me my-- I want
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00:02:03,633 --> 00:02:05,900
to see my birth certificate.
>> KRIS: She is not adopted.
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00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:07,834
She is just different in every
way.
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00:02:07,834 --> 00:02:09,700
You had different color hair,
different color eyes, different
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00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:12,233
color skin.
>> KIM: Khloe needs a DNA test.
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00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,333
>> KHLOE: Let's take a DNA test.
>> KIM: I'm gonna take a piece
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00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,600
of your hair.
>> KRIS (laughing): Oh, my God.
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00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,767
Then you're going to have to get
a piece of my hair.
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00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:21,567
>> KHLOE: Get Bruce's.
I swear I'm probably his kid.
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00:02:21,567 --> 00:02:24,066
>> KRIS: Khloe, I didn't even
know Bruce at the time.
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00:02:24,066 --> 00:02:26,233
>> KIM: We have a specimen of
Khloe's hair.
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00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:29,633
Khloe, I'm going online
to see where I can get a home
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00:02:29,633 --> 00:02:31,467
DNA test.
>> KHLOE: You guys think I'm
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00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:32,834
joking.
>> KRIS: They don't have a
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00:02:32,834 --> 00:02:35,033
home-- this isn't an AIDS test.
>> KHLOE: What, you think they
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00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:38,166
have home AIDS tests, but they
don't have a home DNA test?
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00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,900
>> KIM: $89.
>> KHLOE: I knew I was adopted.
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00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,467
I told you from day one.
>> KIM: HomeDNA.com.
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00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:46,333
>> KHLOE: Why would my godmother
go, "When are you going to tell
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00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,467
her that she's adopted?"
Why would someone say that if
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00:02:48,467 --> 00:02:51,333
I'm really not adopted?
>> KRIS: Are you mental?
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00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:52,967
You really-- you've been saying
this since you were 5 years old.
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00:02:52,967 --> 00:02:55,467
>> KHLOE: I just can't believe
that I'm really like
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00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:57,500
legitimately a part of this
family.
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00:02:57,500 --> 00:02:59,800
>> KRIS: I can't believe that
I'm legitimately a part of this
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00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,800
family.
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00:03:10,433 --> 00:03:12,533
I would like to make a toast to
Rob.
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00:03:12,533 --> 00:03:15,100
Daddy would be very proud of
Rob, and I am proud, too.
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00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,600
>> ROBERT: Aw, that means so
much when you're proud of me.
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00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,200
>> KIM: Rob has just finished
the last of his finals, and our
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00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,367
whole family is getting together
to celebrate.
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>> ROBERT: Maybe you could, uh,
loan me that Bentley of yours as
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00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:32,467
a little gift, graduation gift.
>> KIM: Not a chance.
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00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:36,033
If you want cars like Bentleys,
honey, you're going to have to
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00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:38,367
get a job pronto.
>> KRIS: If you're going to run
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00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:41,967
around on your friends' private
planes, at their hotels in
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00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:44,800
Vegas, and blah, blah, blah,
then, you know, start thinking
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00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,233
along those lines.
>> KOURTNEY: Mom, that's nice to
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00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:49,867
do to your son and put that kind
of pressure.
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00:03:49,867 --> 00:03:53,600
>> ROBERT: Growing up the way I
did, surrounded by, you know, my
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00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,767
parents' friends and my sisters'
friends, everybody has a lot of
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00:03:56,767 --> 00:04:00,066
money, so I just have the
mindset to make a lot of money,
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00:04:00,066 --> 00:04:02,433
and that's just what I have to
do.
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00:04:02,433 --> 00:04:04,633
>> KOURTNEY: If I set up an
internship, like if I can-- I'll
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00:04:04,633 --> 00:04:08,066
ask some of my guy friends, do
you think that's cool?
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00:04:08,066 --> 00:04:10,233
>> ROBERT: I would rather get a
paid job.
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00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:11,767
>> KOURTNEY: I'll get you a paid
internship.
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00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:13,967
You're not gonna work for free.
You went to college at USC
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00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:15,700
Business School.
>> KRIS: A lot of people go to
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00:04:15,700 --> 00:04:18,800
USC because they have such a
great, you know, camaraderie.
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00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,967
>> KHLOE: Of course she knows a
lot about USC.
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She boned half the football team
and the towel boys.
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00:04:25,734 --> 00:04:27,467
>> KRIS: Okay, very funny.
>> KHLOE: That's why I don't
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00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,767
look like you people.
I look like Rob's science
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00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:40,867
teacher.
Uh, hello.
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00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,066
>> KHLOE: What is this mattress
for?
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00:04:43,066 --> 00:04:45,367
>> KRIS: Somebody sent it to me.
I think we should just put it
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00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:47,800
on top of my bed.
>> KHLOE: Why don't you just lay
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00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,266
it on the floor and you sleep
out here for a day?
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00:04:50,266 --> 00:04:51,767
>> KRIS: Why don't you kiss my
ass?
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00:04:51,767 --> 00:04:53,367
>> KHLOE: What do you want me
to do with this?
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00:04:53,367 --> 00:04:55,700
>> KRIS: I want you to drag it
in the house somehow.
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00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:58,066
>> KHLOE: You think I'm like
a camel, and I can just throw
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00:04:58,066 --> 00:05:00,100
this on my back and it'll be
fine?
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00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,633
>> KRIS: There's a way.
Wait a minute.
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00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:05,633
There's a way-- yeah.
There's a way.
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00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:07,767
Let's just drag it.
>> KHLOE: Wait, move!
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00:05:07,767 --> 00:05:10,800
>> KRIS: What?
Khloe, just...
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00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,133
>> KHLOE: Mom, this can't fit
through a door.
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00:05:13,133 --> 00:05:15,900
My mom definitely relies on me
more than Kourtney and Kim.
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00:05:15,900 --> 00:05:19,600
Like I'm always the go-to girl
and the fix-it girl.
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00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,166
If you do not push, I will kill
you.
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00:05:22,166 --> 00:05:24,400
Push!
>> KRIS: I'm trying, Khloe.
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Thank God for you.
>> KHLOE: Yeah, that's why you
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adopted me.
Free slavery.
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00:05:30,033 --> 00:05:34,100
This is like the craziest thing.
I should DNA test your ass.
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00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,367
>> KRIS: Khloe, my pictures are
kind of falling down.
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Khlo, have a little respect.
>> (Khloe laughs)
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00:05:42,266 --> 00:05:50,967
>> KRIS: Khloe, are you okay?
>> KHLOE: Mom, suck it!
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00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:53,500
>> KIM: So I just went
to 14 Carats with Mom, and I
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00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,900
totally found my engagement
ring.
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00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,667
>> KHLOE: So what does that
mean, you're engaged?
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00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:58,433
>> KIM: No, I'm just saying I
found it.
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00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:00,500
>> KHLOE: Oh, my God!
Are you joking?
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00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,400
>> KOURTNEY: Oh, God, I have
to call this guy for Rob.
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00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,367
>> KHLOE: How much is this?
>> KIM: It's like $300,000.
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00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:09,800
>> KOURTNEY: Hey, how are you?
I actually have a favor to ask
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00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,467
you.
My younger brother, Rob--
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00:06:12,467 --> 00:06:16,533
I think you've met him before--
he is about to graduate from USC
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00:06:16,533 --> 00:06:19,734
Business School...
I'm calling my college friend,
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00:06:19,734 --> 00:06:23,100
Ben, to set up an interview
for Rob so he can see what it's
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00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:27,500
like to work in the real world.
Okay, so this Wednesday?
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00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,266
And then I'll call Rob right
now.
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00:06:29,266 --> 00:06:37,200
He'll be so excited.
Thank you.
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00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:41,367
>> KHLOE: Paternity test done.
>> KRIS: What are you doing?
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00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:43,834
>> KHLOE: Just looking at all
this DNA testing.
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00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:46,066
>> KRIS: Khloe, this isn't even
funny.
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00:06:46,066 --> 00:06:48,000
You've seen the stories.
You've heard them from your
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00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,333
grandparents about the day that
you were born and how--
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00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:51,967
>> KHLOE: No, I haven't.
No, I haven't.
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00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:53,667
>> KRIS: Everybody thought you
were going to be a boy, but it
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00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:55,533
was a girl.
And then everybody got over it
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00:06:55,533 --> 00:06:57,233
after 15 minutes.
>> KHLOE: So you guys like were
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00:06:57,233 --> 00:07:00,066
disappointed when I was born?
Is that why you treat me the way
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00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:02,600
you guys treat me?
>> KRIS: How do I treat you?
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00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,734
>> KHLOE: I just get treated
differently than how she treats
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00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:07,333
Kourtney and Kim.
When I was 10 years old,
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00:07:07,333 --> 00:07:09,600
I would make dinner,
set the table.
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00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,800
You could always count on me.
When you're 10, that's not
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00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,767
really something you want to be
doing.
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00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,066
And I was doing it for years
and years and years.
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00:07:17,066 --> 00:07:19,133
>> KRIS: You know, you're so
obsessed with this whole thing
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00:07:19,133 --> 00:07:21,266
that I think that you're going
to be disappointed when you
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00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,934
really find out.
>> KHLOE: Yeah, I--
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00:07:22,934 --> 00:07:25,000
>> KRIS. Go do it.
Find out that I'm your mom, and
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00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,533
then what are you gonna do?
>> KHLOE: It's not that big of a
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00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:29,000
deal.
If you are, congratulations.
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00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,066
You have an amazing child.
But if you're not, ta-ta.
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00:07:33,066 --> 00:07:34,500
>> KRIS: I'm done.
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00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:47,967
>> KIM: Where the (bleep) is my
car?
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00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:50,834
>> KOURTNEY: I'm sure it's in
the shop, like it is every day.
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00:07:50,834 --> 00:07:52,500
>> KIM: No, it's not.
I just drove it.
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00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,433
>> KHLOE: Where is Reg?
>> KIM: He's out of town.
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00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,333
He wouldn't have my car, Khlo.
>> KOURTNEY: Oh.
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00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:59,100
>> KIM: My God, my car is not
here.
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00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,533
Kourtney, I have two parking
spaces in the--
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00:08:01,533 --> 00:08:03,734
I left my Bentley at someone's
house?
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00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,367
>> KOURTNEY: Who's gonna take
your car?
170
00:08:05,367 --> 00:08:07,400
>> KHLOE: It's a Bentley.
take her car?
171
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,967
Are you joking?
172
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:13,734
Oh, my God, calm down.
>> KRIS: Shut up, Khloe!
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00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:15,900
When you have a son with a
(bleep) tattoo the size of
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00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:17,300
Alabama on his chest.
175
00:08:28,033 --> 00:08:30,600
>> POLICEMAN: Okay, so when did
you notice it was missing?
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00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,900
>> KIM: Like 20 minutes ago.
>> POLICEMAN: What kind of car
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00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,100
was it?
>> KIM: When I get home, I see
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00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,800
my Bentley is missing, and
immediately I call the police to
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00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,667
file a police report.
Oh.
180
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:43,033
>> POLICEMAN: Is that it?
>> KIM: That is my (bleep)
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00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:46,000
little brother.
What are you doing?
182
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,066
>> ROBERT: What is going on?
>> KIM: What are you doing?
183
00:08:48,066 --> 00:08:50,567
I called the police.
I thought my car was stolen.
184
00:08:50,567 --> 00:08:54,266
How did you even get my key?
I work hard, and I bought--
185
00:08:54,266 --> 00:08:57,467
Rob, get out of my car.
I can't even believe Rob stole
186
00:08:57,467 --> 00:08:59,967
my Bentley.
Kourtney? Khloe?
187
00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:02,233
>> KOURTNEY: What?
>> KIM: Rob is out of control.
188
00:09:02,233 --> 00:09:04,533
He had my car this whole time.
He was out with my car.
189
00:09:04,533 --> 00:09:06,033
Rob?
>> ROBERT: What?
190
00:09:06,033 --> 00:09:09,734
What do you want?
>> KIM: Sit down.
191
00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:12,266
Seriously, what is wrong with
you?
192
00:09:12,266 --> 00:09:15,100
>> ROBERT: Mmm, nothing.
I took your car for a little
193
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:17,000
joyride.
>> KIM: You don't think there's
194
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,200
anything wrong with that, when
I told you, no, you're not
195
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,400
allowed to?
>> ROBERT: Uh, I didn't think it
196
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,300
was that serious.
I've taken Mom's car.
197
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,433
I've taken-- I mean, I've taken
all you guys--
198
00:09:25,433 --> 00:09:27,667
It's not that big of a deal.
>> KIM: It's not even the car.
199
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:29,166
>> ROBERT: You have all these
things.
200
00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:30,600
>> KIM: No.
>> KOURTNEY: I think Rob is
201
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:33,100
definitely going through a phase
in his life.
202
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:36,233
He's about to graduate college.
It's just a weird time in your
203
00:09:36,233 --> 00:09:37,967
life.
>> KIM: You sound like the
204
00:09:37,967 --> 00:09:39,967
biggest spoiled brat.
It's not even that.
205
00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:41,767
No, it's not even that.
>> KOURTNEY: That's not all.
206
00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:43,700
>> KIM: I called the police.
I thought my car was stolen.
207
00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:46,567
>> ROBERT: You're right.
I need to go to rehab.
208
00:09:46,567 --> 00:09:51,300
You guys are right.
>> KIM: Even though Rob stole
209
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,100
my car, he's still my baby
brother, and I can never stay
210
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,734
mad at him.
>> KOURTNEY: I'm a lot fatter
211
00:09:56,734 --> 00:09:58,533
than Adrienne.
212
00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:06,066
>> KOURTNEY: Hey, Rob.
>> ROBERT: Hey, what's up?
213
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:08,800
>> KOURTNEY: I got your suits,
your dry cleaning.
214
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:11,133
>> ROBERT: Nice.
>> KOURTNEY: I would wear the
215
00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:13,900
striped one.
Today's the big day when Rob
216
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:17,300
goes in for his interview,
and I'm just hoping that he gets
217
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,500
the internship.
>> ROBERT: How much money do you
218
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:21,000
think I'll be getting at this
job?
219
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,533
>> KOURTNEY: It's like a paid
internship.
220
00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:24,567
I'm sure you'll get like
a little bit more than minimum
221
00:10:24,567 --> 00:10:25,967
wage.
>> ROBERT: I had a minimum-wage
222
00:10:25,967 --> 00:10:28,066
job in high school.
>> KOURTNEY: Robert, it's
223
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:30,734
a starting job.
You're going for the experience.
224
00:10:30,734 --> 00:10:34,066
You can say you have other jobs.
>> ROBERT: My dad always, uh,
225
00:10:34,066 --> 00:10:37,133
told me, "time is money."
So, you know, I'm 21 years old.
226
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:40,266
I would love to, you know, have
a couple million dollars by 25.
227
00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:43,333
So I'm not going to waste my
time doing some minimum-wage
228
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:45,667
job.
>> KOURTNEY: Okay, call me right
229
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:52,533
when you're done.
>> ROBERT: All right.
230
00:10:52,533 --> 00:10:55,467
>> KHLOE: Oh.
It's my paternity test.
231
00:10:55,467 --> 00:10:57,333
>> KENDAL: What?
>> KHLOE: No, not like to see
232
00:10:57,333 --> 00:10:59,700
if I'm pregnant.
Like to see if my parents are
233
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,066
my parents.
I don't think Kris Jenner's my
234
00:11:02,066 --> 00:11:04,000
mom.
>> KENDAL: What is wrong with
235
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,834
you?
>> KHLOE: Someone that psychotic
236
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:08,533
cannot be blood-related to me.
"How it works.
237
00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:11,633
Using the enclosed cheek swabs,
rub inside the cheek..."
238
00:11:11,633 --> 00:11:14,233
>> KENDAL: How are you going
to get that?
239
00:11:14,233 --> 00:11:16,834
>> KHLOE: How the hell am I
going to get a cotton swab
240
00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:19,800
into my mom's mouth without
her thinking anything weird?
241
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,900
What are you eating?
>> KRIS: Um...
242
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:26,500
>> GIRL: Fake Swedish Fish.
>> KRIS: Testing...
243
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,967
I just saw Nicollette Sheridan
buying these.
244
00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:32,734
So I thought if she can eat
them, I can eat them.
245
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:36,800
(laughing)
Oh, this is just horrible.
246
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,433
>> GIRL: Spit.
>> KHLOE: You just bought it
247
00:11:38,433 --> 00:11:40,166
'cause Nicollette Sheridan was
eating it?
248
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:43,467
That's really celebrity-
influenced.
249
00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:45,166
Just open your mouth.
>> GIRL: That bad?
250
00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:46,834
>> KRIS: Why?
>> KHLOE: I wanna see your caps.
251
00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:49,066
I just want to see what they
look like.
252
00:11:49,066 --> 00:11:54,066
Like that.
>> KRIS: Khloe, what are you
253
00:11:54,066 --> 00:11:57,800
doing?!
She is out of her mind.
254
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,700
What was that all about?
>> KHLOE: What?
255
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,533
>> KRIS: This is my mouth.
My mouth.
256
00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:04,633
>> KHLOE: Good.
>> KRIS: Like I have boundaries.
257
00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:06,500
Warn me!
>> KHLOE: Mom.
258
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:08,133
>> KRIS: Okay?
>> KHLOE: I'm busy getting your
259
00:12:08,133 --> 00:12:10,000
drug test results.
I really don't know what you've
260
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,900
been up to these days.
You have the chills?
261
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:14,700
>> KRIS: Khloe, you tested me
to see if I'm your real mother.
262
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,667
And if you don't think that I'm
your real mother, then there's
263
00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:20,100
something wrong with you.
>> KHLOE: There definitely is
264
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,500
something wrong with me.
That's already been discovered.
265
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,567
>> KRIS: Okay, honey.
Get your little test off in the
266
00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:26,600
mail.
And when you get your results
267
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,233
back, we'll pop a bottle
of champagne and celebrate.
268
00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:31,967
Okay, so get ready.
It just depends on how happy
269
00:12:31,967 --> 00:12:44,567
you're going to be that I'm
your real mom.
270
00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:46,600
>> ROBERT: I'm not a stranger
to tattoos.
271
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:55,300
But I just-- I've always been
wanting to get another one.
272
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:58,066
>> J.J.: So how did you settle
on this one out of everything?
273
00:12:58,066 --> 00:13:01,400
>> ROBERT: It's my dad.
Love him.
274
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,967
I think it's perfect just to
do, uh, do his face right there
275
00:13:04,967 --> 00:13:09,200
on my forearm.
>> (cell phone chimes)
276
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,867
>> J.J.: Dude, Kourt's calling.
>> ROBERT: Just ignore it.
277
00:13:12,867 --> 00:13:22,767
>> J.J.: Ignore her?
>> ROBERT: Don't pick up.
278
00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:24,834
>> KRIS: You know, Khloe came
into Smooch today.
279
00:13:24,834 --> 00:13:27,033
>> BRUCE: Mm-hmm.
>> KRIS: She shoved a swab in my
280
00:13:27,033 --> 00:13:29,100
mouth to get my--
>> BRUCE: A swab for what?
281
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,467
>> KRIS: To get a sample of my
DNA.
282
00:13:31,467 --> 00:13:33,467
My DNA.
>> BRUCE: To get a--
283
00:13:33,467 --> 00:13:35,300
well, for what?
>> KRIS: Because she wanted to
284
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,800
see if I was her real mom.
>> BRUCE: Honey, Khloe has
285
00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:42,600
a tendency to be very dramatic,
very over-the-top.
286
00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,266
I honestly think it's kind of
funny.
287
00:13:44,266 --> 00:13:46,867
>> KRIS: It's not funny.
It's-- she's upset because I
288
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:50,100
treat Kourtney differently than
I treat Kim, than I-- you know,
289
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,333
treat Khloe.
But she's got to stop the
290
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:54,734
bitterness.
>> KHLOE: Well, well, well.
291
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:58,100
How the hell are you people?
>> BRUCE: Khloe?
292
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,133
Remember the language in my
house.
293
00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:02,467
I don't want-- you know, you
can-- Khloe, Khloe.
294
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,066
The language-- no, I said
"on my property."
295
00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:07,600
You didn't actually go out and
have your DNA done, or you were
296
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,700
just kidding about that?
That's like the stupidest thing.
297
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,100
>> KRIS: Her DNA?
She swabbed my mouth.
298
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,734
>> BRUCE: Now, why are you being
like this?
299
00:14:13,734 --> 00:14:17,500
>> KHLOE: I just wanted to like
prove a point, 'cause Mom like
300
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:22,333
kisses Kim and Kourtney's ass.
And she makes me like always
301
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,900
take care of Kendal and Kylie.
"Make this. Wash these dishes.
302
00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:27,367
Go get me this.
I need to talk to you about
303
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,467
Bruce.
I'm a newly... my husband and
304
00:14:29,467 --> 00:14:31,533
I...
Well, I love him, but he won't
305
00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:34,100
have sex or like..."
>> BRUCE: Oh, please.
306
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:37,133
I think Khloe's probably doing
this whole "I'm not your child"
307
00:14:37,133 --> 00:14:40,834
thing, you know, the whole DNA
thing, really to get Kris's
308
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:42,667
attention.
>> KHLOE: I don't want to be
309
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:45,200
treated like you guys bought me
into this family, so now you
310
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:47,700
guys can just treat me like
a redheaded stepchild.
311
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,000
>> BRUCE: So you like me better
than Mom?
312
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,700
>> KHLOE: I mean, that's
probably not an appropriate
313
00:14:52,700 --> 00:15:04,867
question at the time since
Mom's about to cry.
314
00:15:04,867 --> 00:15:06,800
>> KOURTNEY: Ugh, I am so
(bleep) pissed right now.
315
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,500
>> KHLOE: Why?
>> KOURTNEY: Because Rob totally
316
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:12,667
flaked on an internship that I
set up for him.
317
00:15:12,667 --> 00:15:17,000
>> KHLOE: He got a tattoo today
of like this huge thing of Dad.
318
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,166
>> KOURTNEY: What?
Why would he get more tattoos?
319
00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:22,066
He has huge tattoos now.
>> KHLOE: Call him.
320
00:15:22,066 --> 00:15:25,133
>> KOURTNEY: Rob is usually
really responsible, and usually
321
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:29,133
a really good boy, so I'm
shocked that I hear that he gets
322
00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:32,467
this huge tattoo.
>> KHLOE: He's not answering my
323
00:15:32,467 --> 00:15:42,600
phone calls though, but Adrienne
and Kim both told me.
324
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,734
>> KIM: Have you seen Rob's
tattoos?
325
00:15:45,734 --> 00:15:49,133
He's got them all over.
>> KHLOE: He added another one
326
00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:51,900
here-- this big!
>> KOURTNEY: Both of his arms
327
00:15:51,900 --> 00:15:54,734
are filled like this.
>> KIM: Like he's a...
328
00:15:54,734 --> 00:15:57,200
>> KRIS: "City of angels"?
Wait a minute!
329
00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,266
>> KHLOE: Oh, my God, calm down.
>> KRIS: No. "Calm down"?
330
00:16:00,266 --> 00:16:02,500
>> KHLOE: Mom, now you're being
dramatic.
331
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,033
>> KRIS: Shut up, Khloe!
When you have a son with
332
00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:07,934
a (bleep) tattoo the size of
Alabama on his (bleep) chest,
333
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:10,333
and then you tell me to calm
down!
334
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:18,100
It's not okay!
>> KHLOE: Okay, drama.
335
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,400
>> KRIS: Am I the only one who
hasn't seen it?
336
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,967
>> KHLOE: No, we haven't seen
it.
337
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:24,333
>> KIM: You guys are going to
die.
338
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:26,767
>> KHLOE: Seriously, we need to
hold him down and laser that
339
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:29,000
(bleep) off his body.
>> ADRIENNE: He likes the
340
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,867
portrait.
>> KOURTNEY: Okay, but what...
341
00:16:30,867 --> 00:16:32,734
who came up with "city of
angels"?
342
00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:34,600
>> KHLOE: What do you think?
>> ADRIENNE: Certainly not me.
343
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,667
>> KOURTNEY: What is that like
a motto of his?
344
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:40,667
Is that like his--
you don't just think of a random
345
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,800
slogan to put on.
>> ADRIENNE: No, one of those
346
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,900
thug guys that Rob wants to be
like said it was hot, and then
347
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:48,200
it became hot.
And I'm a cornball 'cause I'm
348
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,934
just a Cheetah Girl.
>> (door slams)
349
00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:54,834
>> ROBERT: Hey!
>> ADRIENNE: Hey.
350
00:16:54,834 --> 00:17:08,333
>> ROBERT: Why are you guys all
looking at me like...?
351
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:10,367
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
352
00:17:10,367 --> 00:17:13,266
access.wgbh.org
353
00:17:16,967 --> 00:17:19,433
>> ROBERT: So why are you guys
all looking at me like...?
354
00:17:19,433 --> 00:17:22,467
>> KHLOE: Well, I'm kind of
annoyed with you personally.
355
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:27,834
Because you like completely
just ruined your body, in my
356
00:17:27,834 --> 00:17:29,567
opinion.
>> KOURTNEY: Just show us the
357
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:33,433
tattoos.
>> KIM: Is that coming out of
358
00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:35,867
clouds?
>> ROBERT: Yeah, clouds.
359
00:17:35,867 --> 00:17:39,767
That look exactly like the
picture in the hallway.
360
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,033
>> KRIS: The hair looks exactly
the same.
361
00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:45,700
(mimics gun firing)
>> KOURTNEY: That's weird.
362
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:48,266
Wait, let me see the other one.
>> ROBERT: This one, I'm
363
00:17:48,266 --> 00:17:49,767
getting...
>> KHLOE: What are you getting
364
00:17:49,767 --> 00:17:51,900
to it, Rob?
Tell me, what are you doing?
365
00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,934
>> KOURTNEY: Let me just see it.
>> KHLOE: You are so (bleep)
366
00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:56,967
stupid.
>> ROBERT: Look at your lower
367
00:17:56,967 --> 00:17:58,567
back.
>> KHLOE: Rob, I have a cross
368
00:17:58,567 --> 00:18:00,266
with angel wings and it's small.
>> ROBERT: And what was under
369
00:18:00,266 --> 00:18:02,200
it?
>> KHLOE: Look at you.
370
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,133
"C.A., city of angels"?
>> KIM: I definitely think that
371
00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:09,467
Rob getting a tattoo of my dad's
face is definitely some kind of
372
00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:12,900
yearning for my dad.
And he's graduating from the
373
00:18:12,900 --> 00:18:14,734
school that my dad graduated
from.
374
00:18:14,734 --> 00:18:18,100
This is a very difficult time in
his life, and I think he really
375
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:21,033
wishes my dad was here for him.
>> KOURTNEY: You can figure out
376
00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:24,467
how to get a job on your own now
because I made a phone call
377
00:18:24,467 --> 00:18:26,500
for you.
>> KHLOE: Rob, you're just
378
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,300
(bleep) up.
You're marking your body, all
379
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,300
these tattoos.
You do not think it through.
380
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,500
You listen to everybody else
'cause you're a dumb (bleep),
381
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,000
so now you're going to live
with this.
382
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,266
>> KRIS: Don't call him a dumb
(bleep).
383
00:18:35,266 --> 00:18:36,800
>> KHLOE: He has to know that
he's a moron.
384
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:38,533
>> ROBERT: Don't worry about it.
When I make my first million,
385
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:40,633
you won't be saying (bleep),
Khloe, seriously.
386
00:18:40,633 --> 00:18:42,500
>> KOURTNEY: This is getting
out of control.
387
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:50,300
Come with me in the other room.
>> (all talking at once)
388
00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,633
>> KOURTNEY: You are totally
going about this the wrong way.
389
00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:55,333
You are not making any sense of
what you're saying.
390
00:18:55,333 --> 00:18:58,133
You don't earn respect by--
having money is not respect.
391
00:18:58,133 --> 00:19:01,266
How many people do you know that
have tons of money and they're
392
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:04,467
not respectable people?
>> ROBERT: You guys always...
393
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:05,767
>> KOURTNEY: Money doesn't earn
you respect.
394
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:07,633
Okay, 'cause we worked hard to
do so.
395
00:19:07,633 --> 00:19:10,300
>> ROBERT: You guys are always
out of town and in hotels and
396
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:13,667
all this stuff.
>> KOURTNEY: I realize that
397
00:19:13,667 --> 00:19:16,700
like you're trying to keep up
with us, but you have to put in
398
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:20,166
your time, too.
You need to start from the
399
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:24,633
bottom, just like we did.
I just hope that you remember
400
00:19:24,633 --> 00:19:26,834
like, you know, where you came
from and...
401
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:29,567
>> ROBERT: I know.
>> KOURTNEY: Keep the values
402
00:19:29,567 --> 00:19:32,300
that you were taught.
Honesty, like, why did you blow
403
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:34,433
off that interview?
>> ROBERT: I just didn't want to
404
00:19:34,433 --> 00:19:37,233
go to an interview for an
internship.
405
00:19:37,233 --> 00:19:39,200
>> KOURTNEY: You should have
talked to me about it 'cause
406
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:43,133
that represents me.
>> ROBERT: You know, Kourtney's
407
00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:44,934
right.
To succeed in life, you got
408
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,867
to start at the bottom.
You know, that's what she did.
409
00:19:47,867 --> 00:19:50,367
That's what Kim did.
And I'm sorry for, you know,
410
00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:53,266
blowing it off.
And I'll definitely be willing
411
00:19:53,266 --> 00:19:56,033
to do it again.
>> KOURTNEY: I mean, we could
412
00:19:56,033 --> 00:19:59,033
make up some kind of excuse.
>> ROBERT: I'm willing to, you
413
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:01,200
know, take that job and work my
way up.
414
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,066
Money will come in due time.
I'll take that internship...
415
00:20:04,066 --> 00:20:06,900
>> KOURTNEY: Okay.
>> ROBERT: If you set it up
416
00:20:06,900 --> 00:20:07,800
again.
417
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,300
>> MAN: Hey, Rob.
>> ROBERT: Hey.
418
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,300
>> MAN: How's it going?
>> ROBERT: Good, how are you?
419
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:24,867
I'm not going to be some big
shot, you know, right out of
420
00:20:24,867 --> 00:20:27,900
college, but eventually.
421
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:37,300
>> KHLOE (singsong): Hi!
>> KRIS: Hey, Khloe.
422
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:42,133
>> KHLOE: Guess what I got?
>> KRIS: What'd you get, Khloe?
423
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:44,433
>> KHLOE: Tests!
>> KRIS: Surprise, surprise.
424
00:20:44,433 --> 00:20:48,233
>> KHLOE: You have no STDs, but
you have a child.
425
00:20:48,233 --> 00:20:50,600
>> KRIS: Khloe, I was there when
you were born.
426
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,066
>> KHLOE: You were?
>> KRIS: Yeah.
427
00:20:52,066 --> 00:20:55,233
Uh, a lot of pain that day.
And you're still getting on
428
00:20:55,233 --> 00:20:58,166
my nerves.
I love you very much, and as you
429
00:20:58,166 --> 00:21:02,000
guys grow up, you're going to
end up-- we're all going to
430
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:05,400
have different relationships.
>> KHLOE: But you got to stop,
431
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,567
"Khloe, do the dishes.
Khloe, watch the kids.
432
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:09,800
Khloe, braid their hair.
Khloe, go get me ice cream.
433
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,400
Khloe..."
What?!
434
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,000
>> KRIS: I have so my much
respect for Khloe and so much
435
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,633
love for Khloe.
And I'm really going to start
436
00:21:17,633 --> 00:21:21,133
treating her a lot different.
Khloe, I know you're not
437
00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:23,300
Cinderella.
I never want to make you feel
438
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:26,467
like that.
And you're the best, honey.
439
00:21:26,467 --> 00:21:30,900
>> KHLOE: I never like really
doubted that you were not my
440
00:21:30,900 --> 00:21:32,533
mom.
>> KRIS: You're all happy now,
441
00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:34,500
aren't you?
That little giggle.
442
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:37,333
You finally feel like you
belong, even though you're
443
00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:40,333
5'10" and blond and gorgeous,
but I still love you just the
444
00:21:40,333 --> 00:21:43,500
same as everybody else.
I do.
445
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:45,667
>> KHLOE: Oh, I hate when you
get this fake.
446
00:21:45,667 --> 00:21:47,734
You seem like such a corny
baloney.
447
00:21:47,734 --> 00:21:51,533
>> KRIS: I do, you little cutie.
All right, Khloe, what do you
448
00:21:51,533 --> 00:21:57,133
want for dinner?
>> KHLOE: A Jack and Coke.
449
00:21:57,133 --> 00:21:58,500
Keeping Up
with the Kardashians--
450
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:00,500
>> KHLOE: You're trying to like
get (bleep) out of me and it's
451
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:02,433
not cool.
>> KRIS: Khloe's having a really
452
00:22:02,433 --> 00:22:04,000
hard time telling me what's
wrong.
453
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,500
>> KOURTNEY: She didn't come
home last night.
454
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:07,967
>> KRIS: I'm really worried
about Khloe.
455
00:22:07,967 --> 00:22:10,767
>> SCOTT: I'm gonna run
a couple-- just random things
39661
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