Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
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"Fuego Del Culo" Girl, if it itches, it's class.
2
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Hey girl, want some brown liquor?
3
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Brown liquor don't make this pussy bad.
4
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Tequila it is.
5
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Need that?
6
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No.
7
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Viva la revolution!
8
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That's that shit right there, make your pussy pop with it.
9
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Yes, ma'am.
10
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So what are you doing here anyway?
11
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What do you think I'm doing here?
12
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I'm starting an opening season.
13
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Been there, done that.
14
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Pick up the phone!
15
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Pick up the phone!
16
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Richie?
17
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Tiana, hey.
18
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I thought it'd be easier for the audience if we didn't have to make more texts.
19
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Yeah, that makes sense.
20
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Because you know these motherfuckers can't read.
21
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I know.
22
00:01:25,710 --> 00:01:27,130
Who goes to see your ways, brothers-in-law?
23
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Well, it's nice to phone meet you in this super awkward way.
24
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Likewise, but I gotta be honest.
25
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When I seen your profile, I made a bitch almost white laugh because you look mad goofy.
26
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But surprisingly, you know, goofy niggas got big dicks.
27
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So, here we are.
28
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I take you for a Jersey girl.
29
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A Jersey girl?
30
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Listen, I love Jersey, yeah.
31
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But I'm a Harlem girl.
32
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Born and motherfucking raised.
33
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Real niggas own.
34
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Yeah.
35
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Oh, so you're black.
36
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No, motherfucker.
37
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I'm black.
38
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All cats.
39
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No cats.
40
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But cats.
41
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Fuck all y'all.
42
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Bitch, spit them pearls back out.
43
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Like, what's your shit?
44
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Hello?
45
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So, tell me.
46
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What's your favorite scary movie?
47
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I don't really do them.
48
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You know, all the super tropes and shit.
49
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Why is it always the white bitch at the end?
50
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Because they know it's too hard to kill a sister.
51
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You know what I'm saying?
52
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Because if the sister can survive government cheese, we can survive anything.
53
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You know, it might help if you met me outside.
54
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Met you outside?
55
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Boy, you're just neat neat.
56
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What's your sign?
57
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Must be a Scorpio.
58
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How'd you know?
59
00:02:37,010 --> 00:02:37,710
Good dick, though.
60
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But toxic as hell.
61
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Hey, is the restaurant here at Allen?
62
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Yes, sir.
63
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You put it above your ass.
64
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We're all there?
65
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Nah, not today.
66
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Shoot, bitch.
67
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Heard you all.
68
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Okay.
69
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I'm coming down to Allen now.
70
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I'm here.
71
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:51,150
Can you see me?
72
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I'm waving.
73
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No.
74
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The person I'm looking at's not waving.
75
00:02:57,190 --> 00:02:58,550
In fact, they're just staring at me.
76
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Well, stare at his ass back.
77
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And don't blink.
78
00:03:01,770 --> 00:03:02,350
Never blink.
79
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You got to scratch the lips if you're gonna blink.
80
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Oh, they're walking towards me now.
81
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Oh my, oh no, they haven't even died.
82
00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:09,930
Why don't I meet his ass over here?
83
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I thought that's not the worst part.
84
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The worst part is, you know so much about horror movies, and yet you still walk into the alley alone.
85
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Yeah, but the worst part is, you fucking with a New York bitch.
86
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Cuckoo!
87
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Yeah!
88
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Cuckoo!
89
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Cuckoo!
90
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Cuckoo!
91
00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:45,810
Damn, he's on some Avenger shit.
92
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Cuckoo!
93
00:03:59,930 --> 00:04:00,290
Seriously, Larry?
94
00:04:00,450 --> 00:04:01,410
I didn't recognize you, Bert.
95
00:04:01,530 --> 00:04:03,050
I thought you was my warlock.
96
00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:04,870
That's a pigeon, nigger.
97
00:04:05,430 --> 00:04:06,410
It's supposed to be, cuckoo!
98
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Cuckoo!
99
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A hawk supernatural attack.
100
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My bad.
101
00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:12,490
Are you done?
102
00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:15,709
What the hell?
103
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,390
Bitch, I'm Teyana Taylor.
104
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My abs got ass.
105
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Get him!
106
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Help!
107
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Come on guys, we can work this out!
108
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Somebody help me!
109
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No, no, no!
110
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Now, get your rotten ass up!
111
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Motherfucker!
112
00:04:46,690 --> 00:04:47,250
Motherfucker!
113
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Hey Tiana, you might have kicked my ass, but you still didn't win that Oscar.
114
00:04:53,430 --> 00:04:55,050
What did you say about my Oscar?
115
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Did I stutter?
116
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You lost.
117
00:04:58,470 --> 00:05:01,470
You're right, but I won that Golden Globe, bitch.
118
00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:03,790
Oh my god, really?
119
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:05,790
So that's why I never watched horror movies.
120
00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:06,930
It's fucking terrible.
121
00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:09,890
Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart gags.
122
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,470
So, you don't like parodies?
123
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,210
I'm more into Judd Apatow films.
124
00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:16,410
You know, elevated comedy.
125
00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:19,310
And what is elevated comedy?
126
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The kind that doesn't actually make anyone laugh but makes white people feel smart.
127
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Tuesday?
128
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Don't answer that.
129
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:28,630
Could be Ghostface.
130
00:05:29,190 --> 00:05:30,610
Oh, come on, Elle.
131
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Stuff like that only happens in the movies.
132
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Oh, hey.
133
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I wasn't expecting you to answer the door.
134
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What the fuck?
135
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Now, here's my life.
136
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Oh, here it is.
137
00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,930
Hello, Tuesday.
138
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:14,050
Hey, miss.
139
00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:16,510
What'd you take?
140
00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:18,570
Just Ritalin for my ADHD.
141
00:06:19,190 --> 00:06:20,470
Adderall for PTSD.
142
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Couple of Banix for my anxiety.
143
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Batch of voter pills.
144
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Book of luck getting an SL.
145
00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:29,830
Jesus, Sarah!
146
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,050
How many did you take?
147
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I don't know.
148
00:06:31,890 --> 00:06:32,950
How many come in a bottle?
149
00:06:34,830 --> 00:06:35,650
Hey, Jeff.
150
00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,890
Sarah, Tuesday's in the hospital.
151
00:06:38,270 --> 00:06:39,890
She was stabbed by a killer.
152
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You know, Ghostface.
153
00:06:41,650 --> 00:06:42,770
Wait, from Rutan?
154
00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:47,770
Why would Ghostface kill her, a.k.a. Pretty Tony, a.k.a. Starkey Love, and stab my sister?
155
00:06:48,150 --> 00:06:50,270
God, Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface kill her.
156
00:06:50,390 --> 00:06:51,990
It was somebody in a Ghostface mask.
157
00:06:52,210 --> 00:06:52,630
Oh.
158
00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:54,850
Okay, that makes more sense.
159
00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:56,190
Ah!
160
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:57,770
Ah!
161
00:06:57,970 --> 00:06:58,230
Ah!
162
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Ah!
163
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I ain't the one!
164
00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:04,190
Ah!
165
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,210
Jesus, Jack!
166
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:06,830
What?
167
00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:09,210
I was thinking about wearing this for Halloween.
168
00:07:09,590 --> 00:07:13,770
My estranged, flat-chested half-sister was nearly killed by a psycho in a ghost mask.
169
00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:17,650
Now that I see her, I can't make up for the past.
170
00:07:18,270 --> 00:07:18,930
Well, hey, hey, hey.
171
00:07:19,710 --> 00:07:20,710
I'm going with you.
172
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:24,310
Not because I'm the obvious killer trying to lure you back here from town.
173
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:25,990
I'm just a supportive boyfriend.
174
00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:26,830
What?
175
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:27,490
That's all.
176
00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:30,210
Okay, let's go.
177
00:07:30,290 --> 00:07:30,730
Get in the car.
178
00:07:31,570 --> 00:07:33,770
Listen, we just have to make one stop on the way.
179
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:35,650
I survived.
180
00:07:36,430 --> 00:07:38,570
Oh, thanks to my lucky penny.
181
00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:40,090
Bye-bye.
182
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:05,750
I hate when y'all leave!
183
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,110
Kill him, young!
184
00:08:08,010 --> 00:08:08,850
My, my!
185
00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:11,330
Come on, turn off this ratchet-ass music.
186
00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:13,750
It's embarrassing, especially for black women.
187
00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:15,090
It's not embarrassing.
188
00:08:15,230 --> 00:08:17,450
I'm the cool mom everybody wished they had.
189
00:08:17,550 --> 00:08:18,090
I'm lit!
190
00:08:18,190 --> 00:08:20,330
Don't forget, I got practice later, so I'll be home late.
191
00:08:20,490 --> 00:08:24,590
You only made the team because you're black, and those racist fucks assumed you could play.
192
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:26,410
It's 2026.
193
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:28,330
I don't think race is an issue.
194
00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:29,790
Do you read black Twitter?
195
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:30,930
No.
196
00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,710
Oh, great.
197
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,350
Are you still dating that hoe?
198
00:08:34,669 --> 00:08:36,850
Okay, stop hoe-shaming her.
199
00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:40,590
Just because Daryl and them ride a train on her doesn't make her a hoe.
200
00:08:40,730 --> 00:08:41,809
She's not a hoe.
201
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,310
She's sex positive.
202
00:08:43,810 --> 00:08:45,530
Well, I'm positive she's a hoe.
203
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:47,590
Hey, Daryl!
204
00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:48,510
Look at you!
205
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,030
Early for Halloween, huh?
206
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,010
What you gonna see, a slutty schoolgirl?
207
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:52,870
Howdy, hoe!
208
00:08:53,030 --> 00:08:54,210
Hi, Miss Mint.
209
00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:56,350
Love the hair.
210
00:08:56,350 --> 00:08:58,610
Very Octavia Spencer.
211
00:08:58,790 --> 00:08:59,950
Well, thank you very much.
212
00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:02,630
I gotta invite you over and make you a little shit pie.
213
00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:04,750
Ooh, you know what?
214
00:09:04,850 --> 00:09:06,890
I gotta get to African American history class.
215
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,330
We're learning about slavery.
216
00:09:08,730 --> 00:09:09,650
I'm trying to find out.
217
00:09:09,990 --> 00:09:10,750
It was a choice.
218
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:11,590
You see that right there?
219
00:09:12,670 --> 00:09:13,410
That's Kanye.
220
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:14,050
That's right.
221
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:16,630
They've been teaching us wrong all this time.
222
00:09:17,070 --> 00:09:17,890
Stay black.
223
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:19,430
Bye, ma.
224
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:21,270
Bye, baby.
225
00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:22,830
I'm speaking fast.
226
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,010
Then I put some kindness in your bag.
227
00:09:25,110 --> 00:09:26,530
You know how they try to trap you.
228
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:30,750
Okay, seriously?
229
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,990
Sheriff Grant, you don't have to walk me to class.
230
00:09:33,130 --> 00:09:33,410
I'm fine.
231
00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:35,870
Jess, there's a serial killer on the loose.
232
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,810
I'm not gonna let anything happen to my baby girl.
233
00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:40,250
Boy, okay?
234
00:09:40,370 --> 00:09:41,110
I'm a baby boy.
235
00:09:41,170 --> 00:09:41,730
I'm sorry.
236
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:44,370
I'm still having a hard time with this transition.
237
00:09:44,610 --> 00:09:45,410
It's really simple.
238
00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:47,630
Treat me like one of the guys.
239
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,670
Okay?
240
00:09:49,430 --> 00:09:51,030
I can do that.
241
00:09:51,930 --> 00:09:52,930
Slap fight.
242
00:09:53,730 --> 00:09:55,250
You call that a slap?
243
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,550
Who the hell did you do that for?
244
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:01,350
I'm such a bitch.
245
00:10:03,350 --> 00:10:04,150
Bitch.
246
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:09,270
Not bad.
247
00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:13,970
Who lives like this?
248
00:10:25,430 --> 00:10:28,860
Oh, good to see you.
249
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:29,700
Come in.
250
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:30,640
Do you want some tea?
251
00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,240
Oh, my God, Mother.
252
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:33,720
You look like shit.
253
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:35,140
Hey, please.
254
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,020
This is clearly a woman who's run out of conditioner.
255
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,460
Oh, be careful where you walk.
256
00:10:38,540 --> 00:10:40,240
The whole place is booby-trapped.
257
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,560
You never know when that psycho's gonna come back.
258
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:43,580
Come in.
259
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:45,240
Okay.
260
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:45,360
I'm sorry.
261
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,920
I hate this job.
262
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:00,400
Mr. Campbell.
263
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:03,440
I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend.
264
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,900
I've heard so much about you.
265
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,260
Not a thing good.
266
00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:10,500
I've heard nothing about you, Jack.
267
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:12,260
I assume you're a piece of shit.
268
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:17,380
But how would I know when I haven't heard from my daughter in, what, six months?
269
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,120
Six years, Mother.
270
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:20,680
And whose fault is that?
271
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,980
Whose fault is that?
272
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:22,500
I don't know.
273
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,400
Maybe it's yours.
274
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:25,480
That's fair.
275
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,660
We want to learn from the horror you survived.
276
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:33,620
Look, Scary Movie 3 and 4 paid me a lot of money for a girl.
277
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,400
There is nothing to learn there.
278
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,400
But if you want to talk about the house, buddy, she...
279
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:39,600
It's happening again.
280
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,320
Some asshole in a mask.
281
00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,740
We have to stop him.
282
00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:45,780
You're not ready, Lovebug.
283
00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:49,020
I have been preparing for this for years.
284
00:11:49,860 --> 00:11:50,980
Sacrificed everything.
285
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,540
You are a terrible mother.
286
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:53,960
Come on, honey.
287
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,960
We had some good times.
288
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,940
Like that Christmas I took you to meet Santa at the mall.
289
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,120
Your turn, Sarah.
290
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:10,840
Move.
291
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,520
Hi, Santa.
292
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,520
Sorry if I don't sit in your lap.
293
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,040
You creep me out.
294
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:26,540
Mom!
295
00:12:27,140 --> 00:12:29,220
Santa does this every year.
296
00:12:29,380 --> 00:12:31,080
Be sure to thank him.
297
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:39,180
That was fun.
298
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,020
Now, back to us.
299
00:12:42,940 --> 00:12:44,440
What the fuck?
300
00:12:47,460 --> 00:12:51,780
I am sorry if that's how you found out Santa doesn't exist.
301
00:12:52,300 --> 00:12:54,260
Mother, I need your help.
302
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,420
To heal our emotional wounds and put the past behind us?
303
00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,240
God, no.
304
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,640
No, to kill Ghostface.
305
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,200
Do you have any guns?
306
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,080
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.
307
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:09,300
I've got millions of guns.
308
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:14,200
But none of them are registered due to my mental health issues.
309
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:17,220
So if you could just keep that on the low.
310
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:19,460
Okay.
311
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,860
Yeah, I'm gonna be fine.
312
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:24,560
I didn't hurt myself on any of these fights.
313
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,840
Oh, hey.
314
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,100
So I spoke to Sarah earlier.
315
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,000
Oh, is she coming?
316
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,400
You know I did hear a buzzing sound.
317
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:38,460
So it's possible.
318
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,160
No, I meant to Woodsville.
319
00:13:40,540 --> 00:13:40,980
Dumbass.
320
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,160
Oh, I forgot that.
321
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:42,880
Hey, Jimbo!
322
00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:43,940
Go deep!
323
00:13:45,460 --> 00:13:45,900
Oh!
324
00:13:46,940 --> 00:13:47,380
Sweet!
325
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:50,680
Speaking of going deep...
326
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,320
I don't know if it's a good time.
327
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:56,200
Everyone knows what happens to teenagers who try to make love when there's a killer on the loose.
328
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:57,660
Brad's right about one thing, guys.
329
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,060
Ghostface is back.
330
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:00,220
We need to arm up.
331
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,020
Pepper spray, check.
332
00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:04,900
Taser, check.
333
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:06,320
Butt plug?
334
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:07,600
Double check.
335
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,120
Goddamn!
336
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,300
You just carry that thing around?
337
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:12,620
It's easy to hide.
338
00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:17,000
In your butt?
339
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:19,840
I'm impressed.
340
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,220
What's up, y'all?
341
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:32,940
I'm back!
342
00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,380
Man, what's up, huh?
343
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:37,940
Huh?
344
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:43,680
I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha niggas using terms like uncle and auntie.
345
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,980
Gaslighting and glazing and glamping.
346
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:48,080
Trying to make my generation sound old.
347
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:49,620
I ain't your damn uncle, nigga!
348
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:51,740
Shorty, you're a mother's brother.
349
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,680
So yeah, technically you are our alpha.
350
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:54,560
Oh.
351
00:14:54,940 --> 00:14:55,760
My bad.
352
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:59,260
It's crazy that they let you teach here.
353
00:14:59,780 --> 00:15:00,180
Teach?
354
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,520
Nah, nigga.
355
00:15:02,340 --> 00:15:03,060
I attend.
356
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,180
You look like a proud 25th year senior.
357
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,420
When are you finally gonna graduate?
358
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:12,480
By the time we do a sequel and I gotta follow you little young niggas to college to get my check.
359
00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:14,240
Wait, guys, Tuesday's a wait.
360
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,480
All right, Tuesday!
361
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,440
Who the fuck is Tuesday?
362
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,260
Hey, we gotta go to the hospital.
363
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,160
You gonna take the bus home?
364
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,540
Nah, the PJ.
365
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:22,180
Private Jet?
366
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:23,360
Yeah, jealous.
367
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,620
Man, you smoke weed all day.
368
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:27,600
Just play video games, live stream.
369
00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:29,480
You literally got money doing nothing.
370
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:30,240
Exactly.
371
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,660
I leave the hard work for the old head.
372
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,060
Ah, shit!
373
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,660
Still the same shorty.
374
00:15:38,260 --> 00:15:39,540
Check my crypto.
375
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,840
Oh, shit, I'm up 3 million dollars!
376
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,420
Damn, now I'm down 5 million.
377
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:47,660
This shit go crazy, son.
378
00:15:49,220 --> 00:15:50,220
What they doing?
379
00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:20,220
Ray!
380
00:16:23,260 --> 00:16:24,960
Sister Brenda, it's okay.
381
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,320
You heard the call of sin yesterday.
382
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,180
But the Lord has called on us to show men such like you the way.
383
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,600
Come on, son.
384
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:34,080
Come with us.
385
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:35,680
Come on us.
386
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,220
God see you're coming.
387
00:16:37,700 --> 00:16:38,740
So don't cheat that girl.
388
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,680
We need you to come like you never came before.
389
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,020
Come for the father, come for the son.
390
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,400
I'm gonna hold your hand and we gonna come together.
391
00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:51,420
Amen.
392
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:53,320
Amen.
393
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:57,340
In the name of God, let it go, Ray.
394
00:16:57,860 --> 00:16:58,640
Let it go!
395
00:16:58,640 --> 00:16:58,740
Let it go!
396
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,840
Oh, my bad.
397
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:03,680
Last time.
398
00:17:06,380 --> 00:17:10,140
Let's welcome a new member to our congregation.
399
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:39,300
Even if he's sexy as hell with a big old chest as his and perky areolas.
400
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:45,640
I no longer carry a purse, put on makeup, walk around in high heels.
401
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,480
Red bottoms.
402
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,700
What with the cute little buckle on the side.
403
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:56,080
I no longer go on blind dates and swipe right at black men.
404
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,340
White men.
405
00:17:57,980 --> 00:17:58,740
Asian men.
406
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:03,780
I no longer take trips to the Philippines looking for ladyboys.
407
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,118
To Phuket, Ko Samui.
408
00:18:06,118 --> 00:18:07,060
Back to Phuket.
409
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,400
Then to Vietnam to see if I can get them any cheaper.
410
00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:11,640
I thought that was my anniversary, Ray.
411
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,620
Oh, this naked got a lot in my house.
412
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:18,200
I no longer stand butt naked in the mirror with my penis tucked between my legs.
413
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,980
Dancing like a dude from Silence of the Lambs.
414
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,100
It puts colostrum in the basket, Precious.
415
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,600
I'm a changed man.
416
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:25,640
I've been delivered.
417
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,400
I will.
418
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:28,900
I said I will.
419
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,223
I will love a woman.
420
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,487
- Women, Women !!!
- Women with penis.
421
00:18:36,687 --> 00:18:40,230
- Women, Women !!!
- Menses Menses.
422
00:18:45,486 --> 00:18:45,860
No, no.
423
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:57,260
Whoa, nigga.
424
00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:59,640
Hock to, hock to, hock to.
425
00:18:59,780 --> 00:19:01,340
Damn, Hock, you doing it?
426
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,200
I've been delivered.
427
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,200
I've been delivered.
428
00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:33,940
Jesus Christ.
429
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:36,740
Oh, my God.
430
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,200
Oh, her face.
431
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,720
Oh, my God, in the morning.
432
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,860
I'm trying to get that hook for an hour.
433
00:19:49,540 --> 00:19:50,960
I am, too.
434
00:19:51,580 --> 00:19:53,580
Hey, what if they're giving you the pain?
435
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,340
Is that more pain, or...
436
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:57,440
Bitch.
437
00:19:58,740 --> 00:19:59,280
Yeah.
438
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:01,820
Oh, yeah.
439
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,080
Oh, this stuff good, good.
440
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,500
This stuff Britney Spears should.
441
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,980
Makes me want to get a house naked, dance around, and juggle some knives.
442
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,760
Who's that Jeffrey Dahmer look-a-like?
443
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,960
This is my boyfriend, Jack.
444
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:18,320
Really nice to meet you.
445
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,980
Looks like Ted Bundy to me.
446
00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:23,340
But that ain't none of my business.
447
00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:27,940
This old stabbed-up bitch here needs some rest.
448
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,960
So y'all, get the fuck out!
449
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:30,700
Yes, ma'am.
450
00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:34,040
Oh, not you, Sarah.
451
00:20:34,340 --> 00:20:34,780
Why?
452
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:35,860
What did I do?
453
00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:38,320
I'm so scared.
454
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,480
Oh, Toose, you should be.
455
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,820
You've been stabbed nine times.
456
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,980
And the killer knows where you live.
457
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:51,180
I would invite you to come stay at my place, but...
458
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:53,440
I don't really want that kind of teacher in my house.
459
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,940
For all we know, he's standing right outside that door.
460
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,140
It's comforting, Sarah.
461
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,440
I thought I was gonna die.
462
00:21:06,580 --> 00:21:08,000
I know, me too.
463
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,100
I planned your funeral.
464
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,000
What the hell?
465
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,940
And I wrote your obituary.
466
00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:15,640
More like tattooed T wrote it.
467
00:21:15,780 --> 00:21:16,820
But you're still here.
468
00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:20,160
And I will never let anyone hurt you.
469
00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:22,500
Oh, dumb!
470
00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:23,820
I should've...
471
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:27,140
Get off me!
472
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:29,160
Help!
473
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,240
This white girl here got on my shit!
474
00:21:32,660 --> 00:21:35,600
I'm a D.E.I. Oh my God, oh my God, she's fired!
475
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:36,540
Let me go!
476
00:21:36,940 --> 00:21:38,180
No, no, I'm good, I'm good.
477
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:38,540
Clear!
478
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:40,480
Again!
479
00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:42,840
Come on, white bitch, I need this job!
480
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:44,640
It's not working!
481
00:21:45,460 --> 00:21:47,040
Oh, we're losing her!
482
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,360
Oh boy.
483
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:59,100
Look like there ain't nothing left but forks, cribs, and pork rinds.
484
00:21:59,780 --> 00:22:00,520
Dear Lord.
485
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:01,320
Ms. Director!
486
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:02,640
Check out the wire!
487
00:22:02,940 --> 00:22:04,780
The wire was the shit, baby.
488
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:09,340
That's my show, Drugs, and that Idris Elba make this coochie wanna pop, pop, pop!
489
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:13,920
Dear Lord, please accept this white bitch and...
490
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,660
Oh!
491
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,440
The love works in mysterious ways.
492
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:19,400
I'm going over it.
493
00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:21,020
I choose.
494
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:24,300
I will never let anyone hurt you...
495
00:22:24,300 --> 00:22:24,680
Again.
496
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:30,880
Oh, my bad!
497
00:22:42,180 --> 00:22:42,980
Hello?
498
00:22:44,020 --> 00:22:45,360
Hello, Sarah.
499
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,480
Who is this?
500
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:50,840
Someone who knows your little secret.
501
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:54,840
No, no, no, I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute, okay?
502
00:22:54,980 --> 00:22:57,940
I won Prime Queen, and I was throwing my heart to the crowd!
503
00:22:58,180 --> 00:23:02,740
No, I'm talking about your family secret.
504
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,800
Oh, you're the fuck who hurt my sister!
505
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,740
Well, I had to get you to come back here.
506
00:23:10,060 --> 00:23:13,980
Listen, if you wanna fuck with me, asshole, then come and get me!
507
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:15,260
With pleasure.
508
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:23,100
Somebody help!
509
00:23:23,940 --> 00:23:25,940
Please, somebody help!
510
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:28,060
Bitch!
511
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,720
This the break room.
512
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:32,620
We all break.
513
00:23:33,140 --> 00:23:33,740
Oh, God.
514
00:23:40,580 --> 00:23:41,320
Take that!
515
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,240
Please, beat me!
516
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,960
I've been saving people all day!
517
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:57,020
So you handle yours, I'll be right over here eating my falafel and my pork rinds.
518
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:58,000
I look like your mama?
519
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,860
Time now breaks over.
520
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,440
You're welcome.
521
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,280
It really looks like you got hit with something hard.
522
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:17,040
Like metal.
523
00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:18,820
I told you, I fell.
524
00:24:19,340 --> 00:24:20,840
Now where exactly are we going?
525
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,420
To talk to an expert.
526
00:24:35,380 --> 00:24:36,280
Go away!
527
00:24:36,420 --> 00:24:39,800
I'm so sorry to bother you, we just wanna ask you a few questions.
528
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,920
Give me one good reason why I should talk to you.
529
00:24:43,540 --> 00:24:44,080
I'm white.
530
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:45,100
How white?
531
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,300
Oh, I'm talking Candace Owens white.
532
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:48,960
Hello.
533
00:24:49,260 --> 00:24:49,760
Take a seat.
534
00:24:50,260 --> 00:24:53,000
When you said expert, I assumed you meant more like Mildred Grass Tyson.
535
00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:53,400
Fuck.
536
00:24:54,180 --> 00:24:55,280
I'm Sarah Campbell.
537
00:24:55,780 --> 00:24:56,900
I was attacked last night.
538
00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:57,680
I think you should leave.
539
00:24:58,100 --> 00:25:00,820
I don't wanna get stabbed, and I don't like COVID, okay?
540
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:01,680
Please, come on.
541
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:02,640
Just two minutes.
542
00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:03,420
That's all I'm asking.
543
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:04,340
No, no.
544
00:25:04,940 --> 00:25:06,200
I'll give you eight minutes.
545
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,340
And another thing.
546
00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:11,380
Oh, I gotta tell you to go.
547
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:16,980
Now you guys go.
548
00:25:17,380 --> 00:25:19,420
When did the work week become the woke week?
549
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:20,860
We've got Black Friday.
550
00:25:20,940 --> 00:25:21,440
What's next?
551
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:22,300
Mulatto Monday?
552
00:25:22,900 --> 00:25:24,020
I mean Yellow Thursday?
553
00:25:24,020 --> 00:25:24,980
Yeah.
554
00:25:24,980 --> 00:25:26,020
Come on.
555
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,860
Let me get this out of the way.
556
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:32,000
Come on.
557
00:25:33,620 --> 00:25:33,940
Oh.
558
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:35,200
Oh, this is bad.
559
00:25:36,660 --> 00:25:37,100
Yep.
560
00:25:37,380 --> 00:25:37,940
You're good.
561
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,640
You're Cindy's daughter, right?
562
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,220
Yeah.
563
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:42,780
Yeah.
564
00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:44,080
I don't know him.
565
00:25:44,260 --> 00:25:45,260
Oh, this is Jack.
566
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:46,440
My love interest.
567
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,440
No, no, no, no.
568
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:53,960
Rule number one of surviving a horror movie is never trust the love interest.
569
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:54,780
Look at him.
570
00:25:55,660 --> 00:26:01,620
He's got that weird, lazy eye poking one way, but he's drooling like a psychopath.
571
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,920
He's got that stumped leg.
572
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:06,540
Makes the wall walk weird and creepy.
573
00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:08,240
I don't have a stump.
574
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,520
Well, that guy does.
575
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:10,380
Oh.
576
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:11,940
You're looking at me.
577
00:26:13,220 --> 00:26:14,500
That's your instruction, Doofy.
578
00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:15,840
Retired.
579
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,780
Listen, Doofy, we could really use your help.
580
00:26:19,420 --> 00:26:19,820
No.
581
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:21,700
I can't go back to that life.
582
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,200
Plus, we're in the middle of a global pandemic.
583
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:28,160
Okay, I hate to break it to you, but COVID has been over for, like, years.
584
00:26:29,060 --> 00:26:29,460
Really?
585
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:30,960
Yeah.
586
00:26:34,090 --> 00:26:34,890
Damn it!
587
00:26:35,790 --> 00:26:37,210
What am I going to do about it?
588
00:26:37,330 --> 00:26:37,770
Can't be.
589
00:26:40,210 --> 00:26:40,950
Get out.
590
00:26:41,210 --> 00:26:42,690
I don't want to go see society.
591
00:26:43,290 --> 00:26:43,990
And don't come back.
592
00:27:03,390 --> 00:27:04,450
Take a look, Doofy.
593
00:27:04,910 --> 00:27:05,730
It's what he did.
594
00:27:07,410 --> 00:27:10,270
Okay, just because he showered doesn't mean that...
595
00:27:10,270 --> 00:27:11,070
Yeah, I didn't shower.
596
00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:13,110
I just take water from my mouth.
597
00:27:13,730 --> 00:27:14,370
You want some?
598
00:27:14,590 --> 00:27:15,490
No, that's okay.
599
00:27:15,770 --> 00:27:16,870
Come on, Doofy.
600
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:17,350
Yeah.
601
00:27:17,650 --> 00:27:18,150
Do it.
602
00:27:18,370 --> 00:27:20,150
Sarah, is your give-a-wax mom coming?
603
00:27:20,370 --> 00:27:21,430
Or can we start talking about this?
604
00:27:23,890 --> 00:27:24,570
Uh...
605
00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:26,190
Hi.
606
00:27:27,410 --> 00:27:28,190
You came.
607
00:27:28,490 --> 00:27:30,130
Not in, like, 15 years, honey.
608
00:27:30,490 --> 00:27:32,050
But I did buy this.
609
00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:33,430
You rose, huh?
610
00:27:33,550 --> 00:27:34,330
Fingers crossed.
611
00:27:38,490 --> 00:27:39,170
Oh!
612
00:27:40,150 --> 00:27:40,710
Oh!
613
00:27:41,230 --> 00:27:42,810
Oh, my old friend!
614
00:27:43,290 --> 00:27:45,150
You taught me how to dance!
615
00:27:45,630 --> 00:27:48,370
How to make a high and work pie!
616
00:27:48,690 --> 00:27:50,670
Nigga, I'm writing back to you.
617
00:27:50,670 --> 00:27:51,590
Sweet!
618
00:27:51,910 --> 00:27:53,090
What's up, Sandy?
619
00:27:53,210 --> 00:27:54,250
How you doing?
620
00:27:54,470 --> 00:27:55,090
Hi, nigga.
621
00:27:56,530 --> 00:27:57,090
Shit!
622
00:27:57,370 --> 00:28:01,070
I can't believe you thought I was dead.
623
00:28:01,230 --> 00:28:08,090
Well, between cancer from the weed, smoke, your love of the McRib, and racist cops, I didn't think you had a chance.
624
00:28:08,230 --> 00:28:09,370
Yeah, that's a terrible comment.
625
00:28:10,470 --> 00:28:11,650
Hi, Sandy.
626
00:28:11,710 --> 00:28:13,370
Stop smiling at me!
627
00:28:14,770 --> 00:28:16,330
Oh, shit!
628
00:28:16,810 --> 00:28:17,370
Wildstar!
629
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:18,590
Wildstar!
630
00:28:18,970 --> 00:28:19,530
Wildstar!
631
00:28:19,530 --> 00:28:21,710
Hey, he's intellectually disabled.
632
00:28:22,290 --> 00:28:24,190
That's just how he looks, you drunk honky.
633
00:28:24,330 --> 00:28:24,890
Hey, hey, hey!
634
00:28:25,290 --> 00:28:26,610
Don't call that white bitch a honky.
635
00:28:27,070 --> 00:28:28,030
Come on, have some respect.
636
00:28:28,290 --> 00:28:30,850
I keep seeing people smiling everywhere.
637
00:28:31,350 --> 00:28:34,970
I'm not very likable, so it must be some kind of curse.
638
00:28:35,390 --> 00:28:35,990
Hey, everybody!
639
00:28:36,890 --> 00:28:38,110
Look what I got!
640
00:28:38,310 --> 00:28:44,810
Non-branded gelatine shot made with brain alcohol and GHB, so ain't nobody sipping that, making sense of life.
641
00:28:45,070 --> 00:28:45,550
Wildstar!
642
00:28:45,790 --> 00:28:46,370
I apologize.
643
00:28:46,650 --> 00:28:46,950
Take one.
644
00:28:47,050 --> 00:28:48,370
I love being myself.
645
00:28:49,370 --> 00:28:50,790
No, no more.
646
00:28:50,970 --> 00:28:51,530
Hi, Brenda.
647
00:28:51,930 --> 00:28:54,190
Please do not call me by my government name.
648
00:28:54,290 --> 00:28:55,050
Call me Ma.
649
00:28:56,970 --> 00:28:57,450
Sandy!
650
00:28:59,730 --> 00:29:01,150
You dropped a tray.
651
00:29:01,410 --> 00:29:02,550
Oh my God, Sandy!
652
00:29:02,730 --> 00:29:04,190
I haven't seen you in forever!
653
00:29:04,970 --> 00:29:06,850
Oh my God, and look at you, you look the same!
654
00:29:07,650 --> 00:29:08,990
Minus the crow's feet.
655
00:29:09,510 --> 00:29:11,270
And your hair is so dry.
656
00:29:11,550 --> 00:29:14,250
Oh, and your titties dropped so far.
657
00:29:14,530 --> 00:29:17,230
Other than that, you look the exact same.
658
00:29:17,230 --> 00:29:18,550
What have you been up to?
659
00:29:19,330 --> 00:29:24,050
Oh, you know, neglecting my children so I can barely kill Ghostfish should he ever return.
660
00:29:24,750 --> 00:29:25,590
What about you?
661
00:29:26,090 --> 00:29:30,970
Well, I've been mostly just getting high school kids drunk in a desperate attempt to stay young and keep my kids at home.
662
00:29:31,310 --> 00:29:32,770
I always knew you'd be a great mom.
663
00:29:32,910 --> 00:29:33,890
Oh, Sandy.
664
00:29:34,530 --> 00:29:35,310
Should we hug?
665
00:29:35,410 --> 00:29:39,250
Oh, I really want to, but I'm a Republican now, so I'm supposed to be racist.
666
00:29:39,450 --> 00:29:41,830
Oh, girl, I think all white people are racist anyway.
667
00:29:42,010 --> 00:29:42,510
Come here.
668
00:29:42,590 --> 00:29:42,970
Okay.
669
00:29:43,710 --> 00:29:44,110
Oh.
670
00:29:45,390 --> 00:29:46,430
Do you want to be shot?
671
00:29:46,890 --> 00:29:47,710
Oh, yes, yes.
672
00:29:48,110 --> 00:29:55,070
You know, Ma, this place could be so cool if you had, like, a beer pong table over there, maybe, like, a snack wall.
673
00:29:55,310 --> 00:29:56,090
What do you know about cool?
674
00:29:56,270 --> 00:29:58,370
When I was your age, I was popping bottles with Puffy.
675
00:29:58,670 --> 00:30:01,027
Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy.
676
00:30:01,078 --> 00:30:02,080
All the Seans.
677
00:30:03,140 --> 00:30:04,160
That didn't end as well.
678
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,400
Your mama was the freak in the freak house.
679
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,340
You want to see something cool?
680
00:30:10,020 --> 00:30:11,040
I'm gonna show you something cool.
681
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:20,140
God, that's cool.
682
00:30:20,460 --> 00:30:21,280
What are you doing?
683
00:30:21,580 --> 00:30:22,020
What?
684
00:30:22,340 --> 00:30:23,560
No, not like that.
685
00:30:26,327 --> 00:30:30,568
I don't know why you're acting so scared the gun is even not loaded.
686
00:30:32,305 --> 00:30:33,757
Shit ! Man !
687
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,020
I did it again.
688
00:30:41,620 --> 00:30:44,360
That was fun.
689
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,440
You know what?
690
00:30:51,780 --> 00:30:54,880
I used to put cocaine in my hula and travel all the time.
691
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:56,520
Yeah.
692
00:31:05,110 --> 00:31:07,490
All right, let's get back to the plot.
693
00:31:08,110 --> 00:31:09,570
I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy.
694
00:31:09,710 --> 00:31:11,110
I'm looking like a school shooter.
695
00:31:11,350 --> 00:31:12,250
I think you're the killer.
696
00:31:12,610 --> 00:31:13,010
Oh, me?
697
00:31:13,190 --> 00:31:15,390
Okay, what about Deputy Doofy over there?
698
00:31:15,670 --> 00:31:16,630
I don't have a motive.
699
00:31:17,070 --> 00:31:17,790
Yeah, what's my motive?
700
00:31:18,230 --> 00:31:20,050
You were the killer in the first movie.
701
00:31:20,730 --> 00:31:21,790
Shouldn't you be locked up?
702
00:31:21,870 --> 00:31:23,330
No, I got pardoned.
703
00:31:23,370 --> 00:31:26,470
Mostly because of the storming the Capitol, you know.
704
00:31:26,710 --> 00:31:26,910
Oh.
705
00:31:27,190 --> 00:31:27,810
I got proof.
706
00:31:28,490 --> 00:31:29,030
It's me.
707
00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:30,470
And it's framed.
708
00:31:30,870 --> 00:31:31,630
That's a cool hit.
709
00:31:31,910 --> 00:31:34,030
What about Jess?
710
00:31:34,830 --> 00:31:35,470
What about me?
711
00:31:35,650 --> 00:31:38,490
If anybody here has issues that could lead to murder.
712
00:31:38,810 --> 00:31:39,730
Okay, okay.
713
00:31:39,870 --> 00:31:41,930
Trans shaming is not cool, okay?
714
00:31:42,290 --> 00:31:43,470
Then he's just a dude.
715
00:31:43,570 --> 00:31:43,750
Yeah.
716
00:31:43,890 --> 00:31:46,950
Finest stuff for body strength and the dick part.
717
00:31:47,210 --> 00:31:49,130
Hey, you don't know what I got down here, okay?
718
00:31:49,450 --> 00:31:50,050
I do.
719
00:31:51,070 --> 00:31:57,370
Listen, what we know so far is everyone who's been attacked is related to the original characters.
720
00:31:57,370 --> 00:31:58,810
He wants to kill the kid.
721
00:31:59,730 --> 00:32:01,970
He's making a reboot, a quote.
722
00:32:02,930 --> 00:32:03,570
A what now?
723
00:32:03,650 --> 00:32:05,470
Yeah, it's like a reboot and a sequel.
724
00:32:05,810 --> 00:32:11,106
Mixes legacy characters with new characters in an attempt to feed into bullshit nostalgia,
725
00:32:11,106 --> 00:32:12,610
and bring more fans to the theaters.
726
00:32:12,710 --> 00:32:14,590
Just like last year's I Know What You Did Last Summer.
727
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:17,640
That's a movie?
728
00:32:17,940 --> 00:32:19,140
What did I do last summer?
729
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,660
I think you're talking about the summer I turned pretty.
730
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:22,000
Yeah.
731
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:23,900
Ray, when did you get here?
732
00:32:24,180 --> 00:32:24,740
I walked in here.
733
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:25,920
I was just hanging out by the men's room.
734
00:32:27,020 --> 00:32:27,300
Oh.
735
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:27,920
Mom?
736
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:33,300
Okay, so that means that our killer is writing his own version of horror movie.
737
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:37,860
Okay, so according to the reboot he called Rooms, who's the killer?
738
00:32:39,220 --> 00:32:41,020
I think it's pretty obvious.
739
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:44,660
Who?
740
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:46,360
You, bitch.
741
00:32:46,660 --> 00:32:47,020
Me?
742
00:32:47,580 --> 00:32:49,160
Guys, I am not the killer.
743
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:52,160
Ghostface attacked Tuesday to lure me back here.
744
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:57,620
I think he attacked Tuesday to get you back here so he could get me back here.
745
00:32:58,060 --> 00:32:59,920
He wants to kill the OGs.
746
00:33:00,260 --> 00:33:01,260
That was a flex.
747
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:02,460
Yeah, that sounds weird.
748
00:33:02,700 --> 00:33:04,240
Oh, fuck it!
749
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,240
And fuck you, mother!
750
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,460
Dude, you're the mother?
751
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:09,040
Hey!
752
00:33:09,340 --> 00:33:10,900
Don't be so disrespectful!
753
00:33:12,340 --> 00:33:13,600
And call me mom!
754
00:33:13,980 --> 00:33:14,600
Or mommy!
755
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,420
Or whatever's more comfortable!
756
00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:35,560
Oh, God.
757
00:33:37,340 --> 00:33:38,260
Talk to me!
758
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:39,800
Hello, Sheriff.
759
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:41,400
Agent Underwood?
760
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,280
I'll give you one hint.
761
00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:45,640
What's your favorite scary movie?
762
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,940
Well, I'm gonna go with Saltburn.
763
00:33:48,460 --> 00:33:50,920
I mean, the member on that English guy was terrifying.
764
00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:55,700
And Ken Jeong's junk in The Hangover was a much better depiction of the male anatomy.
765
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:57,840
Now, what do you want, fuckface?
766
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:03,080
Well, I'm just calling to tell you that by the time you get home, I'll have gutted your baby girl.
767
00:34:04,060 --> 00:34:05,200
Hey, asshole.
768
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:06,700
She's a boy!
769
00:34:31,610 --> 00:34:33,710
Looking for this?
770
00:34:35,030 --> 00:34:36,170
Let me help you.
771
00:34:37,130 --> 00:34:39,330
I got your baby dick!
772
00:34:39,330 --> 00:34:41,150
Winky, winky, winky, winky.
773
00:34:49,970 --> 00:34:51,170
All right.
774
00:34:51,330 --> 00:34:52,230
Here we go.
775
00:34:52,950 --> 00:34:54,230
What do you want, fuckface?
776
00:34:54,870 --> 00:34:57,790
Like father, like son.
777
00:34:58,770 --> 00:35:00,950
I understand you're all about that.
778
00:35:01,170 --> 00:35:07,070
Well, dad's out, but the cool guy, the gardener, and the plumber are all here, asshole.
779
00:35:07,750 --> 00:35:08,730
Look out your window.
780
00:35:13,830 --> 00:35:16,810
No, but they're the backbone of the American workforce.
781
00:35:17,730 --> 00:35:19,310
I'm not too white to do those jobs.
782
00:35:19,770 --> 00:35:21,010
Let's cut to the chase.
783
00:35:21,470 --> 00:35:23,050
I'll ask you one question.
784
00:35:23,750 --> 00:35:26,070
If you answer correctly, you live.
785
00:35:26,790 --> 00:35:30,030
Who was the killer in horror movie?
786
00:35:30,550 --> 00:35:31,710
Oh, that was easy.
787
00:35:31,910 --> 00:35:36,750
It was Bobby and then K-Ray, the guy who was totally into dudes, even though he claimed he wasn't.
788
00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:38,630
Classic 2000s homophobia.
789
00:35:39,290 --> 00:35:40,410
But I got you, bitch.
790
00:35:40,410 --> 00:35:41,270
Wrong.
791
00:35:41,610 --> 00:35:43,590
You forgot Special Officer Doofy.
792
00:35:43,970 --> 00:35:45,490
Now, you die.
793
00:35:54,110 --> 00:35:55,630
Oh, fuck that!
794
00:35:57,550 --> 00:35:59,890
You should probably answer that.
795
00:36:00,090 --> 00:36:03,050
I can literally see you trying to steal my package.
796
00:36:04,270 --> 00:36:05,430
Oh, shit.
797
00:36:06,150 --> 00:36:07,810
That was easy.
798
00:36:10,870 --> 00:36:13,290
Uh, someone wore snakes.
799
00:36:13,630 --> 00:36:14,110
Let's go, Puff.
800
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,080
Wait a sec.
801
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:18,760
Careful.
802
00:36:19,220 --> 00:36:20,460
Nobody's talking about any killer.
803
00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:25,500
You are not allowed to identify as gay.
804
00:36:27,420 --> 00:36:28,240
I look...
805
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:30,480
You...
806
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:31,360
...stare like...
807
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:32,940
...a girl.
808
00:36:40,430 --> 00:36:41,870
Come on, girls.
809
00:36:42,070 --> 00:36:45,890
Our new play shows will have a ghost-faced camera collection bundle.
810
00:36:45,890 --> 00:36:48,450
This is Kiki West for OnlyFans Rapid News.
811
00:36:48,550 --> 00:36:49,130
Rapid News?
812
00:36:49,230 --> 00:36:50,270
You mean Baffet News.
813
00:36:50,470 --> 00:36:51,710
You don't even have a cameraman.
814
00:36:54,770 --> 00:36:55,810
Excuse me.
815
00:36:57,990 --> 00:36:58,990
Oh, my.
816
00:36:59,370 --> 00:36:59,890
You're...
817
00:36:59,890 --> 00:37:00,590
Yes, yes.
818
00:37:00,930 --> 00:37:05,170
Three-time Emmy nominee for Outstanding Achievement in Sensational Reporting.
819
00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:09,570
I was gonna say the lady from Friends, but shorter, because Botox.
820
00:37:09,770 --> 00:37:11,770
Oh, is that what you were gonna say?
821
00:37:12,190 --> 00:37:14,110
You seriously don't know who I am?
822
00:37:14,390 --> 00:37:15,510
Baby girl, I am...
823
00:37:15,510 --> 00:37:16,270
Gayle Swallows.
824
00:37:17,750 --> 00:37:18,490
Gayle Stork.
825
00:37:18,610 --> 00:37:18,970
Gayle, here.
826
00:37:19,270 --> 00:37:20,430
Get the hell out of my way.
827
00:37:25,930 --> 00:37:26,410
Doofus.
828
00:37:26,950 --> 00:37:28,490
Hey, Gayle.
829
00:37:30,390 --> 00:37:31,830
You have an age to death.
830
00:37:32,510 --> 00:37:33,730
You better fucking believe me.
831
00:37:33,850 --> 00:37:34,870
That's just my requirement.
832
00:37:34,890 --> 00:37:36,190
Yeah, your fingers felt like genitals.
833
00:37:36,390 --> 00:37:38,510
What are you doing in that ridiculous uniform?
834
00:37:39,030 --> 00:37:40,770
Oh, I'm back on the case.
835
00:37:41,250 --> 00:37:42,590
Yeah, I'm gonna bust Gayle's face.
836
00:37:42,950 --> 00:37:44,230
Well, um...
837
00:37:44,230 --> 00:37:46,510
Tell me, Special Needs Officer Doofy.
838
00:37:47,090 --> 00:37:47,570
Um...
839
00:37:48,490 --> 00:37:52,810
Are there any suspects in this tragic yet completely predictable incident?
840
00:37:52,950 --> 00:37:54,370
I do not know what to say.
841
00:37:54,630 --> 00:37:56,150
No, no, I don't know.
842
00:37:56,390 --> 00:37:57,150
Yes, you can.
843
00:37:57,250 --> 00:37:58,010
I do not...
844
00:37:58,010 --> 00:37:58,530
Yeah, um...
845
00:37:59,130 --> 00:37:59,910
Tell me what you want.
846
00:38:00,190 --> 00:38:01,450
I don't want to die here.
847
00:38:01,550 --> 00:38:01,790
Waffle.
848
00:38:03,450 --> 00:38:07,550
Hey, remember when you used to give blowjobs to presentative information?
849
00:38:08,210 --> 00:38:10,370
I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay?
850
00:38:10,490 --> 00:38:11,390
Not since Me Too.
851
00:38:11,630 --> 00:38:12,710
Okay, sorry.
852
00:38:13,210 --> 00:38:15,510
I give handjobs now, but the story better be good.
853
00:38:15,730 --> 00:38:16,690
Okay, I'll give you a handjob.
854
00:38:16,750 --> 00:38:17,190
Let's do it.
855
00:38:17,290 --> 00:38:17,870
Let's do it.
856
00:38:29,410 --> 00:38:30,090
What the?
857
00:38:39,130 --> 00:38:40,250
I'm gonna get you.
858
00:38:40,429 --> 00:38:40,929
I'll come right back.
859
00:38:41,010 --> 00:38:41,470
I'm gonna get you.
860
00:38:41,530 --> 00:38:41,730
Where?
861
00:38:41,950 --> 00:38:43,410
You got my outfit, you little critter.
862
00:38:47,150 --> 00:38:48,610
Ain't it mean to be little?
863
00:38:51,750 --> 00:38:53,030
Fuck yeah, shit.
864
00:39:03,652 --> 00:39:05,020
Hello, Shorty.
865
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,540
You do know that smoking is bad for you.
866
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:10,740
Actually, weed ain't bad for you.
867
00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:13,280
You got vitamin T, C, and H.
868
00:39:13,820 --> 00:39:15,280
C, B, and D.
869
00:39:16,020 --> 00:39:17,180
What's the matter, Shorty?
870
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:19,840
You look a little antsy.
871
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:25,220
Maybe because there's a masked serial killer sipping tea in my den.
872
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:26,700
Shorty, you're my nigga.
873
00:39:27,140 --> 00:39:28,080
I mean friend.
874
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:29,320
Please, sing.
875
00:39:29,620 --> 00:39:30,080
All right.
876
00:39:33,890 --> 00:39:35,370
Do you want to quit smoking?
877
00:39:36,010 --> 00:39:41,250
Well, to be honest, I tried to quit, but my mother said I ain't raising no quitters.
878
00:39:42,110 --> 00:39:43,130
So I quit quitting.
879
00:39:43,410 --> 00:39:44,670
We can try it now, sis.
880
00:39:45,250 --> 00:39:49,430
Bro, I don't care how many pocket watches you try and wave in front of my face.
881
00:39:49,730 --> 00:39:50,870
It ain't gonna work, son.
882
00:39:50,870 --> 00:39:52,910
You can't magnetize me.
883
00:39:53,150 --> 00:39:53,670
Sleep.
884
00:39:57,590 --> 00:39:58,110
Shorty.
885
00:40:00,630 --> 00:40:01,330
What's up?
886
00:40:01,950 --> 00:40:04,390
Tell me about your mother.
887
00:40:05,850 --> 00:40:06,490
Damn, nigga.
888
00:40:07,010 --> 00:40:09,890
Let's start with something light, like do you lick ass?
889
00:40:10,050 --> 00:40:10,570
Yes or no?
890
00:40:11,070 --> 00:40:11,890
The answer's yes.
891
00:40:12,770 --> 00:40:15,370
So what happened to her, Shorty?
892
00:40:18,210 --> 00:40:19,130
She's coming home.
893
00:40:20,810 --> 00:40:22,530
Her car was parked to the side of the road.
894
00:40:23,530 --> 00:40:24,690
Someone was in it.
895
00:40:26,210 --> 00:40:27,390
And something bad was happening.
896
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:33,200
Why did you call anyone?
897
00:40:33,780 --> 00:40:35,920
I had warrants.
898
00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:37,180
You were 11?
899
00:40:37,900 --> 00:40:39,140
I started young, nigga.
900
00:40:41,020 --> 00:40:43,240
What do you see?
901
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:50,720
I see a big explosion of water.
902
00:40:52,740 --> 00:40:54,460
It looks like a civil rights hoax.
903
00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:00,480
Police said it was a murder-suicide.
904
00:41:01,940 --> 00:41:03,240
She killed that man.
905
00:41:03,700 --> 00:41:06,980
When they opened the car door, his limp body just slid out.
906
00:41:10,670 --> 00:41:12,770
Like the green nigga in shape of water.
907
00:41:13,850 --> 00:41:15,410
I just didn't want it to be real.
908
00:41:15,610 --> 00:41:17,310
What don't you want to be real?
909
00:41:18,730 --> 00:41:20,350
That my mother was a squirter.
910
00:41:21,230 --> 00:41:23,130
Okay, she was a squirter.
911
00:41:23,530 --> 00:41:25,650
All the floors in her bedroom was warped.
912
00:41:26,110 --> 00:41:27,070
I can't move.
913
00:41:27,650 --> 00:41:28,490
You're paralyzed.
914
00:41:29,790 --> 00:41:30,670
Now...
915
00:41:31,370 --> 00:41:33,110
Sink into the chair.
916
00:41:33,370 --> 00:41:34,010
What the- Wait!
917
00:41:34,250 --> 00:41:34,690
Sink!
918
00:41:40,579 --> 00:41:44,953
Idiot !
919
00:41:51,664 --> 00:41:57,037
I went into the wrong hole again!
920
00:41:57,739 --> 00:42:00,740
No! You're in a clay pot hole.
921
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:16,140
Whoa, shit, girl!
922
00:42:31,047 --> 00:42:32,300
You're about to be sprayed.
923
00:43:12,089 --> 00:43:13,220
That dream was wild.
924
00:43:13,220 --> 00:43:15,260
That must have been Elon Musk.
925
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,700
Oh, shit ! son !
926
00:43:30,729 --> 00:43:33,000
Thursday?
927
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:37,460
Bobby?
928
00:43:40,070 --> 00:43:45,340
Bobby, what the- She's gonna die.
929
00:43:45,340 --> 00:43:46,580
Our daughter, Sarah?
930
00:43:46,900 --> 00:43:48,200
You're probably right.
931
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:51,020
She's tough, but let's see her get stabbed in the cut.
932
00:43:51,300 --> 00:43:52,520
I'm gonna die.
933
00:43:52,940 --> 00:43:54,460
Bobby, you're already dead.
934
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,860
This hallucination is a manifestation of my own guilt for being an awful mom.
935
00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:01,220
Or it could be the shrooms I just popped.
936
00:44:02,780 --> 00:44:04,160
You're gonna die!
937
00:44:04,820 --> 00:44:07,240
Bitch, you ain't killing me.
938
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:14,580
You're gonna die.
939
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:17,800
Stop smiling!
940
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:18,800
I can't.
941
00:44:19,620 --> 00:44:20,140
Buttocks.
942
00:44:20,340 --> 00:44:20,700
Hey!
943
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:23,560
This is the mental ward.
944
00:44:24,060 --> 00:44:25,240
Everyone smiles in here.
945
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:30,780
Oh, um, could you point me in the direction of the ICU?
946
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:32,580
Is it that way or that way?
947
00:44:33,100 --> 00:44:34,340
Uh, visiting hours are over.
948
00:44:34,660 --> 00:44:35,600
Oh, yes, of course.
949
00:44:37,580 --> 00:44:42,000
The network wants me to clarify that Black Friday has nothing to do with race.
950
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,467
Well, just tell that to my Black friend, Benita,
951
00:44:44,467 --> 00:44:47,833
who's probably clocking someone over there in the store as we speak.
952
00:44:48,033 --> 00:44:48,640
Right, Benita?
953
00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:07,660
Man, you ain't Micah.
954
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:09,500
Micah got that Jerry curl.
955
00:45:09,940 --> 00:45:10,820
What is that, son?
956
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:11,920
Is that Gillette?
957
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:15,160
See, people think it's Gillette, but it's actually Sharpie.
958
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:16,740
Boy, your hair look like fondue.
959
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:17,620
It's dirty.
960
00:45:18,020 --> 00:45:18,860
Micah's got a monkey.
961
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,000
I got a llama.
962
00:45:21,740 --> 00:45:22,700
Fuck, Micah.
963
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:24,460
You can't dance, boy.
964
00:45:24,720 --> 00:45:25,400
I'll be practicing.
965
00:45:32,740 --> 00:45:34,380
I can moonwalk.
966
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,100
And is this Ninadaba?
967
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:42,300
Ow.
968
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:45,360
Jermaine.
969
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:49,600
Coming Juneteenth.
970
00:45:50,020 --> 00:45:51,260
Only on Tubi.
971
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,820
I'm a bootleg, that shit.
972
00:45:58,120 --> 00:45:58,580
Hello?
973
00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:01,480
Fuck this.
974
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:07,800
I'm gonna miss you all.
975
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:14,980
Oh, hell no.
976
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:32,180
Jack, did Sarah tell you to come?
977
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:33,320
Oh, yeah.
978
00:46:34,180 --> 00:46:35,180
That's why I'm here.
979
00:46:35,700 --> 00:46:38,720
Not to murder you or anything like that.
980
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:39,860
Then why are you wearing gloves?
981
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:46,360
Would you believe I am thinking about dressing up as OJ Simpson for Halloween?
982
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:47,420
But those fit.
983
00:46:47,420 --> 00:46:49,380
Look out!
984
00:46:50,420 --> 00:46:51,100
Yeah, cool, bro.
985
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:52,160
You almost did a fade.
986
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:53,580
I mean, no.
987
00:46:53,900 --> 00:46:54,260
Bitch.
988
00:47:10,119 --> 00:47:12,700
I'm gonna gut you like a pig.
989
00:47:17,420 --> 00:47:17,839
God.
990
00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,000
That is so true.
991
00:47:36,290 --> 00:47:40,050
Wait until I stick my knife in them.
992
00:47:46,650 --> 00:47:48,510
I'm crying over here.
993
00:47:49,110 --> 00:47:50,250
I gotta go.
994
00:47:50,410 --> 00:47:50,930
Be brave.
995
00:47:51,430 --> 00:47:51,770
I'm gonna kill me.
996
00:47:51,850 --> 00:47:52,490
Be yourself.
997
00:47:52,850 --> 00:47:53,470
I gotta go.
998
00:47:53,470 --> 00:47:55,050
I'm gonna get my purse.
999
00:47:57,050 --> 00:47:58,390
Oh, oh shit.
1000
00:47:58,730 --> 00:47:59,930
You're really gonna kill me.
1001
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:22,440
No one was there, huh?
1002
00:48:25,460 --> 00:48:27,140
I'm gonna turn you into bacon.
1003
00:48:41,030 --> 00:48:41,350
Excuse me.
1004
00:48:41,610 --> 00:48:42,170
I'm a ranger.
1005
00:48:42,630 --> 00:48:43,370
Step aside.
1006
00:48:43,670 --> 00:48:47,810
Do you feel like doing it?
1007
00:48:48,590 --> 00:48:49,170
Move.
1008
00:48:50,650 --> 00:48:52,250
Sorry, son of a bitch.
1009
00:48:53,530 --> 00:48:54,150
What the?
1010
00:48:54,310 --> 00:48:57,770
My psycho mother said always keep a strip.
1011
00:48:59,510 --> 00:49:00,090
Go.
1012
00:49:00,090 --> 00:49:00,570
You!
1013
00:49:00,890 --> 00:49:02,270
Let go of me, you mother...
1014
00:49:02,270 --> 00:49:03,230
I'll take you home with me.
1015
00:49:03,390 --> 00:49:03,910
Ow!
1016
00:49:04,450 --> 00:49:05,510
The pain!
1017
00:49:05,990 --> 00:49:06,650
The agony!
1018
00:49:07,230 --> 00:49:09,590
Sarah, if I don't make it...
1019
00:49:09,590 --> 00:49:11,950
Seriously, can you stop trying to win an Oscar?
1020
00:49:12,090 --> 00:49:13,890
It's a horror movie, it'll never happen!
1021
00:49:14,530 --> 00:49:15,670
Ask Demi Moore.
1022
00:49:16,830 --> 00:49:17,090
No!
1023
00:49:17,490 --> 00:49:17,630
No!
1024
00:49:18,010 --> 00:49:18,310
No!
1025
00:49:23,890 --> 00:49:25,110
What the fuck?
1026
00:49:25,830 --> 00:49:27,890
Let me see it all by myself.
1027
00:49:29,990 --> 00:49:31,230
Me and you now, ghosty.
1028
00:49:31,990 --> 00:49:32,250
Who?
1029
00:49:33,850 --> 00:49:35,390
And that's you and me.
1030
00:49:35,990 --> 00:49:37,230
You and me.
1031
00:49:44,510 --> 00:49:45,190
Die.
1032
00:49:47,670 --> 00:49:48,350
Die.
1033
00:49:49,190 --> 00:49:49,630
Die.
1034
00:49:49,630 --> 00:49:54,030
I smell my finger.
1035
00:49:55,370 --> 00:49:58,210
What the fuck was that?
1036
00:49:58,790 --> 00:50:00,950
My ass.
1037
00:50:01,230 --> 00:50:03,250
Fuck your ass, horse.
1038
00:50:05,650 --> 00:50:07,290
That's my ass.
1039
00:50:07,650 --> 00:50:09,510
Any last words?
1040
00:50:10,470 --> 00:50:12,030
I go poopy.
1041
00:50:15,910 --> 00:50:18,050
Oh, hell no.
1042
00:50:18,270 --> 00:50:19,690
I ain't cleaning up that shit.
1043
00:50:20,250 --> 00:50:21,130
I'm on break.
1044
00:50:21,350 --> 00:50:21,950
Come on.
1045
00:50:22,190 --> 00:50:23,830
I ain't killing nothing here.
1046
00:50:24,690 --> 00:50:25,410
What'd you say?
1047
00:50:27,270 --> 00:50:28,650
Yo, what's up, chat?
1048
00:50:28,850 --> 00:50:29,850
It's your boy, Shorty.
1049
00:50:29,890 --> 00:50:30,250
That's right.
1050
00:50:30,350 --> 00:50:31,610
It's another Halloween-a-thon.
1051
00:50:31,930 --> 00:50:37,230
And that's another day of me getting paid mad money for doing absolutely nothing.
1052
00:50:37,530 --> 00:50:39,270
Why you stupid motherfucking watchers?
1053
00:50:40,150 --> 00:50:41,270
Hey, they call me dumb.
1054
00:50:41,590 --> 00:50:43,910
I want to give a smooth shout-out to my sponsor.
1055
00:50:45,350 --> 00:50:47,570
Angry Orchard Hard Silo.
1056
00:50:49,030 --> 00:50:50,990
They got mad apples, huh?
1057
00:50:53,150 --> 00:50:53,470
No!
1058
00:50:54,550 --> 00:50:55,150
Please!
1059
00:50:55,810 --> 00:50:57,370
We're marketing genius.
1060
00:50:57,670 --> 00:51:00,710
It won't be a Halloween-a-thon without an adult guest.
1061
00:51:00,790 --> 00:51:02,190
He's a legend in the streaming game.
1062
00:51:02,310 --> 00:51:04,950
Give it up for Kyle Smith!
1063
00:51:13,980 --> 00:51:15,080
Let's get serious.
1064
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:16,240
What brings you here, chat?
1065
00:51:17,260 --> 00:51:18,780
You dropped something on me in the movie.
1066
00:51:19,380 --> 00:51:20,080
I've been calling you.
1067
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:20,880
You ghosted me.
1068
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:25,060
Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy-ass baby mamas.
1069
00:51:25,300 --> 00:51:26,380
That's my bad.
1070
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:30,100
Speaking of ghosting, somebody will start here.
1071
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:31,600
Hello?
1072
00:51:31,980 --> 00:51:34,040
What's your favorite scary movie?
1073
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:48,820
We're breaking in in there, son!
1074
00:51:49,340 --> 00:51:50,240
What's up, my guy?
1075
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,120
Got some Angry Orchard Hard Silo.
1076
00:51:52,140 --> 00:51:54,720
They got mad apples.
1077
00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:55,740
Oh!
1078
00:51:57,900 --> 00:52:04,180
I'm about to do my favorite thing.
1079
00:52:05,100 --> 00:52:07,080
Spin the wheel!
1080
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:09,520
Here we go again!
1081
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:14,200
We gonna go back there with these noodles, and we gonna smack the fuck out you!
1082
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:15,540
Come here, you gotta guess who did it.
1083
00:52:15,620 --> 00:52:16,880
That doesn't even make sense.
1084
00:52:17,460 --> 00:52:18,720
This is a dumb game.
1085
00:52:23,220 --> 00:52:24,760
God damn it!
1086
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:40,200
You just killed Kassanet on the chair.
1087
00:52:41,740 --> 00:52:43,300
We're making history, son!
1088
00:52:44,260 --> 00:52:45,600
Money, money, money!
1089
00:53:05,630 --> 00:53:06,390
I know.
1090
00:53:10,870 --> 00:53:12,650
It's about time you guys got here.
1091
00:53:14,150 --> 00:53:15,070
Now you're gonna get it.
1092
00:53:20,630 --> 00:53:22,070
So that's our suspect.
1093
00:53:22,630 --> 00:53:24,330
Goes by the name, Shorthand.
1094
00:53:24,850 --> 00:53:28,750
Was the handyman that House reputed to be haunted in 2001.
1095
00:53:30,390 --> 00:53:31,630
Is there anything you're not telling me?
1096
00:53:32,070 --> 00:53:33,190
That your wife hates you.
1097
00:53:33,830 --> 00:53:35,430
You believe that Earth is flat.
1098
00:53:35,710 --> 00:53:36,730
And you voted for Trump.
1099
00:53:37,570 --> 00:53:38,150
Great times.
1100
00:53:38,250 --> 00:53:39,810
No words possible for the woman.
1101
00:53:41,470 --> 00:53:44,850
I believe Shorthand is the notorious Ghostface.
1102
00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:47,790
What that mouth do?
1103
00:53:49,250 --> 00:53:50,250
Just enough.
1104
00:53:50,990 --> 00:53:52,570
You did look pretty sketchy.
1105
00:53:56,190 --> 00:53:57,690
I got the wrong guy.
1106
00:53:58,630 --> 00:54:00,070
And you know that because you're sick?
1107
00:54:00,550 --> 00:54:00,890
No.
1108
00:54:01,430 --> 00:54:02,630
Says so on the arrest warrant.
1109
00:54:04,510 --> 00:54:05,570
I don't know.
1110
00:54:06,490 --> 00:54:07,370
That guy's black.
1111
00:54:07,730 --> 00:54:08,870
He's kinda...
1112
00:54:08,870 --> 00:54:09,730
not that black.
1113
00:54:10,350 --> 00:54:11,670
Like Gravy Brown.
1114
00:54:14,850 --> 00:54:16,650
Hit him with your strong hand.
1115
00:54:18,610 --> 00:54:19,490
Arrest him anyways.
1116
00:54:21,910 --> 00:54:23,810
Turn off your body cams!
1117
00:54:25,890 --> 00:54:26,770
Welcome back.
1118
00:54:26,950 --> 00:54:28,370
Doc, I'm begging you.
1119
00:54:28,570 --> 00:54:29,810
You gotta help me look younger.
1120
00:54:30,050 --> 00:54:31,590
These little bitches are killing me out there.
1121
00:54:31,690 --> 00:54:34,490
They're wearing nothing but a sausage casing and a ring light.
1122
00:54:34,690 --> 00:54:39,330
Trust me with this withered, decrepit, age-ravaged body.
1123
00:54:39,850 --> 00:54:41,070
And I will make you whole.
1124
00:54:41,690 --> 00:54:43,610
Well, you know there's a White Lady special coming right up.
1125
00:54:43,810 --> 00:54:44,230
Thanks.
1126
00:54:44,530 --> 00:54:46,970
I'm gonna play a quick video on the ins and outs of the procedure.
1127
00:54:46,970 --> 00:54:48,310
And then we'll get started.
1128
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,660
Do you wish you weren't so old and saggy?
1129
00:54:55,740 --> 00:54:56,940
Do you wish you were younger?
1130
00:54:57,920 --> 00:54:58,440
Sexier?
1131
00:54:59,100 --> 00:54:59,820
Fuckable again?
1132
00:55:00,580 --> 00:55:01,900
One single injection.
1133
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:03,580
Unlocks your DNA.
1134
00:55:03,900 --> 00:55:05,820
Creating a new, better you.
1135
00:55:07,540 --> 00:55:08,140
This...
1136
00:55:08,140 --> 00:55:09,500
Is the stuff.
1137
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:14,760
Doc, this isn't that When it Pouch Throw crap that makes you smell like a vag.
1138
00:55:14,820 --> 00:55:15,180
Is it?
1139
00:55:19,220 --> 00:55:20,530
I like it.
1140
00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:23,980
Oh!
1141
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:26,060
Oh!
1142
00:55:36,420 --> 00:55:38,160
Wow, that's a lot of stuff.
1143
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:41,380
Ooh, a mask on a mask.
1144
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:43,580
Safety first, thank God.
1145
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:45,120
Oh!
1146
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:45,240
Oh!
1147
00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:47,220
Oh, no!
1148
00:55:48,900 --> 00:55:50,720
I'm not his second son!
1149
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,340
I'm gonna love him and accept myself as I am!
1150
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:54,680
Ah!
1151
00:55:56,820 --> 00:55:57,960
Fuck you.
1152
00:56:54,590 --> 00:56:56,650
Oops.
1153
00:56:56,650 --> 00:56:57,830
Wrong movie.
1154
00:56:59,790 --> 00:57:01,510
You were thinking it.
1155
00:57:01,550 --> 00:57:02,250
What are you saying?
1156
00:57:03,890 --> 00:57:05,830
White chicks to my ass.
1157
00:57:14,010 --> 00:57:15,250
Hey, Sarah.
1158
00:57:16,810 --> 00:57:17,610
Tuesday.
1159
00:57:17,970 --> 00:57:20,150
I tried to visit you.
1160
00:57:20,470 --> 00:57:22,530
I am sorry for everything.
1161
00:57:23,190 --> 00:57:24,490
Especially your name.
1162
00:57:25,070 --> 00:57:26,270
It was Taco Tuesday.
1163
00:57:26,270 --> 00:57:27,570
I was super drunk.
1164
00:57:27,690 --> 00:57:30,450
But I promise you I will kill this motherfucker.
1165
00:57:31,070 --> 00:57:31,430
It's fine.
1166
00:57:31,550 --> 00:57:33,490
I'm going to take you to the car.
1167
00:57:33,970 --> 00:57:36,050
I'm going to take you to the car.
1168
00:57:36,170 --> 00:57:36,510
Oh, I got you.
1169
00:57:37,910 --> 00:57:40,890
I'm taking Tues away from all of this.
1170
00:57:42,210 --> 00:57:43,090
I'm taking Tues away from all of this.
1171
00:57:44,030 --> 00:57:45,270
I tried to run too.
1172
00:57:45,270 --> 00:57:45,630
I tried to run too.
1173
00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:47,750
But it follows.
1174
00:57:48,690 --> 00:57:51,390
Now you're probably expecting a flashback to that movie.
1175
00:57:51,490 --> 00:57:52,650
But it's too obscure.
1176
00:57:52,810 --> 00:57:53,670
Yeah, and a probably.
1177
00:57:53,670 --> 00:57:58,490
Do you have sex with someone, give them an STD, and then they haunt them in the form of their naked grandma?
1178
00:57:58,650 --> 00:58:00,170
It's like an STD biopic.
1179
00:58:00,430 --> 00:58:02,210
The killer is taunting me.
1180
00:58:02,430 --> 00:58:03,750
Why doesn't he just kill us?
1181
00:58:04,110 --> 00:58:05,070
Uh, speak for yourself.
1182
00:58:05,530 --> 00:58:06,830
Like, what are you waiting for?
1183
00:58:07,130 --> 00:58:08,390
Oh, no, no, no, sweetie.
1184
00:58:08,550 --> 00:58:09,630
Sweetie, it's like this.
1185
00:58:11,390 --> 00:58:13,790
What are you waiting for, huh?
1186
00:58:22,750 --> 00:58:24,370
I wish you weren't my mother.
1187
00:58:24,370 --> 00:58:25,970
What are you waiting for?
1188
00:58:26,930 --> 00:58:27,630
Wait, honey.
1189
00:58:34,050 --> 00:58:34,850
You sure about this?
1190
00:58:35,070 --> 00:58:35,450
Yeah.
1191
00:58:36,070 --> 00:58:36,970
Keep saying it.
1192
00:58:58,830 --> 00:59:00,050
So, what's up?
1193
00:59:00,090 --> 00:59:01,210
You got that Candyman?
1194
00:59:02,110 --> 00:59:04,410
I got weed gummies.
1195
00:59:04,990 --> 00:59:05,470
Candies.
1196
00:59:05,550 --> 00:59:05,770
Yeah.
1197
00:59:06,350 --> 00:59:06,930
Shroom Chops.
1198
00:59:07,130 --> 00:59:07,610
Awesome.
1199
00:59:08,050 --> 00:59:10,070
And what takes you so long to show up?
1200
00:59:10,070 --> 00:59:11,130
Come on, Clarence.
1201
00:59:11,210 --> 00:59:13,330
I called you five times, nigga.
1202
00:59:13,550 --> 00:59:14,530
Show up in three.
1203
00:59:14,690 --> 00:59:16,330
You ain't even call me on the phone.
1204
00:59:16,930 --> 00:59:19,930
Luckily, I was walking by and heard y'all through the hole in this wall.
1205
00:59:20,250 --> 00:59:21,050
Fix that shit.
1206
00:59:21,190 --> 00:59:22,310
You shut your ass up.
1207
00:59:22,650 --> 00:59:25,850
You need to go to a proctologist and get your skin looked at.
1208
00:59:25,990 --> 00:59:28,950
Having acne over the age of 40 is wild work.
1209
00:59:29,250 --> 00:59:30,350
I look better than this nigga.
1210
00:59:30,570 --> 00:59:31,390
Maybe on this side.
1211
00:59:31,430 --> 00:59:32,450
Hey, ain't no time for beating.
1212
00:59:32,530 --> 00:59:33,910
We about to be high as fuck.
1213
00:59:34,090 --> 00:59:35,250
We gon' party, son.
1214
00:59:39,610 --> 00:59:40,490
Watch your face, y'all.
1215
00:59:40,890 --> 00:59:42,050
Watch up with your face.
1216
00:59:42,490 --> 00:59:43,050
That's right.
1217
00:59:43,250 --> 00:59:43,770
Right there.
1218
00:59:44,770 --> 00:59:45,410
Hey.
1219
00:59:46,090 --> 00:59:46,710
I love it.
1220
00:59:46,790 --> 00:59:47,550
Come in there.
1221
00:59:47,970 --> 00:59:48,990
What's in this?
1222
00:59:49,430 --> 00:59:51,590
You send yourself a sex tip?
1223
00:59:52,010 --> 00:59:52,290
Ah.
1224
00:59:53,090 --> 00:59:53,470
Wait.
1225
00:59:53,790 --> 00:59:54,570
You seen Gai?
1226
00:59:54,570 --> 00:59:57,390
I-I-I can't find her since she went to that protest.
1227
00:59:57,950 --> 00:59:58,250
No.
1228
01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:04,350
Red, let me guess, you are Woody from Toy Story?
1229
01:00:04,650 --> 01:00:05,930
Nah, Brenda, that's a gag.
1230
01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:08,790
Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain.
1231
01:00:09,770 --> 01:00:12,390
I wish I knew how to quit you, but I can't.
1232
01:00:14,130 --> 01:00:15,650
You lied, Mommy!
1233
01:00:16,470 --> 01:00:16,990
Hey, Brenda.
1234
01:00:17,410 --> 01:00:17,650
Huh?
1235
01:00:18,170 --> 01:00:20,070
Have you seen my big old bag of candy?
1236
01:00:20,550 --> 01:00:23,130
It had chocolates, gummies, lollipops.
1237
01:00:23,750 --> 01:00:24,650
It's gone missing.
1238
01:00:24,750 --> 01:00:25,350
No, no, no.
1239
01:00:25,510 --> 01:00:26,130
It's not missing.
1240
01:00:26,230 --> 01:00:27,650
I passed it out to the trick-or-treaters.
1241
01:00:27,650 --> 01:00:30,650
Brenda, that's my stash.
1242
01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:41,160
Why is she looking at me?
1243
01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:45,260
I'm a little distraught of you.
1244
01:01:45,700 --> 01:01:47,800
I'm fearful of you.
1245
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:49,940
It's all about picking holes in the wall.
1246
01:01:49,980 --> 01:01:51,200
Get a real talk, yeah.
1247
01:01:52,460 --> 01:01:53,900
Make that ass jump.
1248
01:01:54,580 --> 01:01:54,920
Uh-huh.
1249
01:01:55,140 --> 01:01:55,720
Make that ass jump.
1250
01:01:55,720 --> 01:01:57,120
Uh-huh.
1251
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:58,660
You better make that ass jump.
1252
01:01:58,860 --> 01:02:00,900
My niggas keep swinging on my slide.
1253
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,360
Got to jam these ass out while I'm talking.
1254
01:02:03,640 --> 01:02:08,020
Hey, do you know how many baby seals die from microplastics?
1255
01:02:17,300 --> 01:02:18,580
Yeah, that's a cop's face.
1256
01:02:18,580 --> 01:02:24,240
Oh, my God.
1257
01:02:24,600 --> 01:02:25,540
He stabbed her.
1258
01:02:25,860 --> 01:02:26,520
Not her.
1259
01:02:27,120 --> 01:02:28,460
My pronouns are they, them.
1260
01:02:28,780 --> 01:02:29,960
He stabbed them.
1261
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:30,960
I'm over 40.
1262
01:02:31,220 --> 01:02:33,100
How am I supposed to keep up with all of this?
1263
01:02:33,520 --> 01:02:34,360
She's not wrong.
1264
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:39,800
It's Karen's like you that keep the patriarchy going with their knees on our necks.
1265
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,120
Now they're playing the race card?
1266
01:02:42,620 --> 01:02:43,840
I've had enough of her shit.
1267
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:45,020
That shit, bitch.
1268
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:51,560
And to be clear, my real name is Karen.
1269
01:02:52,300 --> 01:02:53,040
Oh, shit.
1270
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:54,060
This is too good.
1271
01:02:54,180 --> 01:02:55,400
Ignore the insults.
1272
01:02:55,820 --> 01:02:58,040
They don't realize we're here to help them.
1273
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:02,760
Toxic masculinity and mansplaining doesn't help anybody.
1274
01:03:02,940 --> 01:03:04,620
I was born masculine and toxic.
1275
01:03:05,260 --> 01:03:06,640
I love women in sports.
1276
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:08,200
Just not together.
1277
01:03:08,440 --> 01:03:09,020
Come here, bitch.
1278
01:03:10,260 --> 01:03:11,100
I got her.
1279
01:03:11,420 --> 01:03:11,840
Me next.
1280
01:03:11,940 --> 01:03:13,140
I ain't ready for this.
1281
01:03:13,340 --> 01:03:13,960
Check it out, girl.
1282
01:03:14,040 --> 01:03:14,560
Me next.
1283
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:15,180
Move.
1284
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:16,880
So wild.
1285
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:19,980
Oh, my God.
1286
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:22,320
I'm going mad as hell.
1287
01:03:27,980 --> 01:03:29,260
What's up, Nadia?
1288
01:03:29,940 --> 01:03:30,920
Can I ask you something?
1289
01:03:32,080 --> 01:03:32,680
Yeah, sure.
1290
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:37,800
It's about, you know, how to go down on a girl.
1291
01:03:38,740 --> 01:03:39,880
It's about eating pussy?
1292
01:03:40,740 --> 01:03:41,140
Yes.
1293
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:42,880
It's so cringe, but yeah.
1294
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:47,160
So maybe if you start talking like a 14-year-old white girl, you could learn something.
1295
01:03:47,780 --> 01:03:48,120
All right.
1296
01:03:48,220 --> 01:03:48,920
So listen up.
1297
01:03:49,240 --> 01:03:51,580
First thing you got to do, you got to spread the man.
1298
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:52,540
You got to open it up.
1299
01:03:52,880 --> 01:03:53,960
And you want to use your fingers.
1300
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:55,640
Sometimes you can use two.
1301
01:03:56,000 --> 01:03:57,360
Two fingers like that there.
1302
01:03:57,660 --> 01:03:57,880
Yeah?
1303
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:02,600
Now, once you get it all in there, now you got to use your tongue.
1304
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:04,060
You can't be afraid of it.
1305
01:04:07,780 --> 01:04:08,780
Lean into it.
1306
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:09,820
No, no, no.
1307
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:10,720
You're doing it too fast.
1308
01:04:10,940 --> 01:04:11,600
No, no, no.
1309
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:13,000
Listen.
1310
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:14,380
You got to be gentle.
1311
01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:15,140
You got to talk to her.
1312
01:04:15,140 --> 01:04:16,959
Hello, little guy.
1313
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:18,260
How you doing?
1314
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:20,120
Boom.
1315
01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:22,080
It's like boom in the blunt.
1316
01:04:22,560 --> 01:04:28,760
All you got to do, nephew, is hit that shit.
1317
01:04:30,100 --> 01:04:30,860
Got it?
1318
01:04:31,180 --> 01:04:31,500
Mm-hmm.
1319
01:04:31,620 --> 01:04:32,280
Right now.
1320
01:04:32,980 --> 01:04:35,740
If you want to learn to lick ass, that's your mama.
1321
01:04:37,960 --> 01:04:40,640
Oh, you feel so good.
1322
01:04:41,540 --> 01:04:43,860
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
1323
01:04:43,860 --> 01:04:46,900
Well, I want to try something.
1324
01:04:47,460 --> 01:04:49,600
I thought you said you'd never let me peck you.
1325
01:04:49,800 --> 01:04:50,020
What?
1326
01:04:50,180 --> 01:04:50,400
No.
1327
01:04:51,620 --> 01:04:52,140
Relax.
1328
01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:54,180
I just want to taste you.
1329
01:04:56,820 --> 01:04:57,340
Okay.
1330
01:04:59,700 --> 01:05:00,740
Dinner time.
1331
01:05:01,660 --> 01:05:02,220
Oh, yeah.
1332
01:05:02,420 --> 01:05:03,280
Come here, baby.
1333
01:05:06,660 --> 01:05:07,180
Careful.
1334
01:05:07,620 --> 01:05:08,680
You might get gangster.
1335
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,940
Oh, it is gangster.
1336
01:05:11,940 --> 01:05:12,900
Okay.
1337
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:13,500
Stop.
1338
01:05:13,580 --> 01:05:14,020
You're so hot.
1339
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:14,940
You want some more?
1340
01:05:15,380 --> 01:05:15,740
Yeah.
1341
01:05:18,520 --> 01:05:20,000
No, no, no, no.
1342
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:22,520
You feel so much better.
1343
01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:26,120
Get back in there.
1344
01:05:26,420 --> 01:05:26,560
Yeah.
1345
01:05:26,920 --> 01:05:27,520
Lick it.
1346
01:05:27,900 --> 01:05:28,240
Yeah.
1347
01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:30,080
Lick it hard.
1348
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:32,040
Finish her.
1349
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:36,440
Oh, my God.
1350
01:05:36,440 --> 01:05:39,600
Oh, my God.
1351
01:05:39,780 --> 01:05:41,000
Just like rolling in blood.
1352
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:43,200
Oh, my God.
1353
01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:43,640
It's me.
1354
01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:46,080
Oh, Jesus.
1355
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:47,500
Oh.
1356
01:05:48,540 --> 01:05:49,080
Ow.
1357
01:05:52,060 --> 01:05:53,160
What the fuck?
1358
01:05:53,500 --> 01:05:53,980
Hey, there.
1359
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:55,960
We're here to tell you about Halloween party.
1360
01:05:56,720 --> 01:05:58,040
You didn't know, did you?
1361
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:03,560
We're going to drink, play bad music, do some half-gay shit, watch us half-gay.
1362
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:05,020
Can I help you?
1363
01:06:05,020 --> 01:06:07,000
If you just invite us in.
1364
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:08,840
Why do you need an invitation?
1365
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:13,500
White folks show up to parties uninvited all the time with their little nasty-ass casseroles.
1366
01:06:13,660 --> 01:06:14,340
Glad as shit.
1367
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:15,740
Y'all better stop using some loud.
1368
01:06:16,380 --> 01:06:18,660
And why she got them dirty-ass feet?
1369
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:20,960
Look like you was walking around porn sets all day.
1370
01:06:21,180 --> 01:06:22,440
Got them trailer-block toes.
1371
01:06:23,420 --> 01:06:23,900
Jesus!
1372
01:06:24,200 --> 01:06:25,580
I think you're in the wrong place.
1373
01:06:26,100 --> 01:06:26,700
Y'all playing?
1374
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:28,040
No.
1375
01:06:28,700 --> 01:06:31,180
We believe in music and equality.
1376
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:32,780
How about we show y'all?
1377
01:06:32,780 --> 01:06:33,860
It's okay now.
1378
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:36,900
We're moving on up.
1379
01:06:37,820 --> 01:06:40,200
To the east side.
1380
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:43,200
To a deluxe apartment.
1381
01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:44,580
In the sky.
1382
01:06:45,660 --> 01:06:47,440
We're moving on up.
1383
01:06:47,700 --> 01:06:49,360
De-gentrified De-genesis.
1384
01:06:49,740 --> 01:06:52,200
Weezy's rolling around in her grave right now.
1385
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:54,420
Can't do this to the Black National Anthem.
1386
01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:02,600
Boo!
1387
01:07:03,580 --> 01:07:04,020
Boo!
1388
01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:04,640
Look at you suck!
1389
01:07:04,780 --> 01:07:05,480
Boo your ass!
1390
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:08,240
Get your ass out of here!
1391
01:07:08,860 --> 01:07:12,481
Why don't y'all just go to one of those frat parties where they drink until they black out,
1392
01:07:12,481 --> 01:07:13,681
and wake up with their booties hurting.
1393
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:16,840
Not knowing what someone in a cowboy hat did to their head.
1394
01:07:17,060 --> 01:07:17,200
What?
1395
01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:19,000
Okay.
1396
01:07:19,380 --> 01:07:21,180
Well, we will leave you guys alone.
1397
01:07:21,300 --> 01:07:24,620
But we're going to walk real slow just in case y'all change your minds.
1398
01:07:27,300 --> 01:07:28,500
Change your minds yet?
1399
01:07:28,540 --> 01:07:28,820
No!
1400
01:07:29,020 --> 01:07:29,840
Hell no!
1401
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:31,540
How about now?
1402
01:07:31,780 --> 01:07:32,480
Hell no!
1403
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:32,840
No!
1404
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:33,840
Yes?
1405
01:07:33,940 --> 01:07:34,520
Hell no!
1406
01:07:34,780 --> 01:07:35,740
Please walk it!
1407
01:07:35,820 --> 01:07:36,560
Now get it!
1408
01:07:36,660 --> 01:07:37,180
Let's go, let's go.
1409
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:37,880
Come on!
1410
01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:39,060
My folks are getting weary.
1411
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:44,900
Guys, I think I saw an open window over here.
1412
01:07:45,220 --> 01:07:46,120
That window's closed.
1413
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:47,060
Not for long.
1414
01:07:47,920 --> 01:07:48,360
Hello!
1415
01:07:51,500 --> 01:07:51,760
Boo!
1416
01:07:53,940 --> 01:07:54,460
Wicked.
1417
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:56,480
Fucking idiots.
1418
01:08:02,100 --> 01:08:02,540
Hey!
1419
01:08:05,000 --> 01:08:05,440
Tuesday!
1420
01:08:06,240 --> 01:08:07,840
You came back!
1421
01:08:07,960 --> 01:08:09,200
Yeah, I just left my inhaler.
1422
01:08:09,940 --> 01:08:12,900
Honestly, Tuesday, I thought inhalers were the worst plot device in every history.
1423
01:08:13,100 --> 01:08:13,620
That's true.
1424
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:14,460
Should have been a fake.
1425
01:08:14,740 --> 01:08:17,280
But we're here now, so let's make the most of it.
1426
01:08:17,400 --> 01:08:18,800
And wear them white clothes!
1427
01:08:24,210 --> 01:08:24,650
Sarah?
1428
01:08:25,270 --> 01:08:25,750
Hello.
1429
01:08:26,310 --> 01:08:28,670
Get your sister and get out of there right now.
1430
01:08:28,970 --> 01:08:29,490
Okay, hon?
1431
01:08:29,810 --> 01:08:31,210
I am a grown-ass woman.
1432
01:08:31,570 --> 01:08:34,490
Mother, I don't have to do anything you tell me to do.
1433
01:08:34,510 --> 01:08:37,030
That's the house where your psychopath killed those people.
1434
01:08:37,510 --> 01:08:38,830
Someone wanted to get him there.
1435
01:08:39,549 --> 01:08:43,290
Which means someone wants to get me there.
1436
01:08:43,630 --> 01:08:45,710
Oh my God, this isn't about you!
1437
01:08:45,950 --> 01:08:46,830
Why are you yelling?
1438
01:08:47,030 --> 01:08:49,290
Because you live so fucking far away!
1439
01:08:50,170 --> 01:08:52,450
Wait, hold on, are you tracking my phone?
1440
01:08:52,850 --> 01:08:54,290
Shh, you're breaking up.
1441
01:08:54,290 --> 01:08:55,530
Yeah, shh.
1442
01:09:00,890 --> 01:09:02,810
Happy birthday!
1443
01:09:09,968 --> 01:09:10,790
What the fuck?
1444
01:09:11,330 --> 01:09:11,930
No!
1445
01:09:13,090 --> 01:09:14,310
I'm sorry!
1446
01:09:15,070 --> 01:09:16,830
I thought I was supposed to smoke it!
1447
01:09:16,830 --> 01:09:19,030
Oh shit.
1448
01:09:20,710 --> 01:09:21,150
Seriously?
1449
01:09:24,150 --> 01:09:25,590
With the 12 years of slave shit?
1450
01:09:25,830 --> 01:09:26,890
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1451
01:09:27,010 --> 01:09:28,270
I didn't see that movie, okay?
1452
01:09:28,870 --> 01:09:30,270
I just found this thing in the shed.
1453
01:09:30,710 --> 01:09:31,030
Jeez.
1454
01:09:37,430 --> 01:09:38,570
Come on, bro.
1455
01:09:39,250 --> 01:09:40,330
That's even worse.
1456
01:09:41,930 --> 01:09:43,370
I didn't mean it that way.
1457
01:09:43,890 --> 01:09:45,510
Some of my best victims are black.
1458
01:09:49,010 --> 01:09:52,210
And another brother falls victim to gun violence.
1459
01:09:52,810 --> 01:09:54,890
Turns out race is still an issue.
1460
01:09:55,390 --> 01:09:56,230
That's not fair.
1461
01:09:56,650 --> 01:09:58,750
You know black guys usually die first in horror movies.
1462
01:10:03,430 --> 01:10:06,190
Please give a whole new meaning to dead by daylight.
1463
01:10:09,850 --> 01:10:10,430
Goofy.
1464
01:10:11,730 --> 01:10:12,650
Goofy ass.
1465
01:10:13,990 --> 01:10:14,490
Oh!
1466
01:10:17,590 --> 01:10:18,590
Hello, shorty.
1467
01:10:18,810 --> 01:10:19,310
Woohoo!
1468
01:10:20,030 --> 01:10:20,830
Get him, get him!
1469
01:10:21,470 --> 01:10:22,470
Ha, ha, ha!
1470
01:10:22,670 --> 01:10:24,010
Got ya, Goofy ass!
1471
01:10:24,190 --> 01:10:25,570
You're about to be eyes.
1472
01:10:26,170 --> 01:10:26,450
Oh!
1473
01:10:36,551 --> 01:10:38,130
Why you running backwards, huh?
1474
01:10:38,230 --> 01:10:39,670
Oh no, it's not me.
1475
01:10:39,910 --> 01:10:40,510
Something's wrong.
1476
01:10:40,510 --> 01:10:42,390
Ben, your remote is upside down.
1477
01:10:44,590 --> 01:10:45,990
Game on, bitch.
1478
01:10:53,590 --> 01:10:54,790
Black lives matter.
1479
01:10:54,970 --> 01:10:56,070
Not you, shorty.
1480
01:10:56,430 --> 01:10:57,390
Oh my, I need you.
1481
01:10:57,390 --> 01:10:58,710
Whoa, what's going on?
1482
01:10:58,790 --> 01:10:59,210
Oh, Jack.
1483
01:10:59,650 --> 01:11:01,250
Oh, thank God you're here.
1484
01:11:01,350 --> 01:11:01,990
Where were you?
1485
01:11:02,330 --> 01:11:03,930
Gooseface was just here.
1486
01:11:04,130 --> 01:11:06,530
I was outside getting some fresh air.
1487
01:11:06,750 --> 01:11:07,130
Stop.
1488
01:11:08,130 --> 01:11:10,570
One of you is the killer.
1489
01:11:11,710 --> 01:11:11,910
No.
1490
01:11:13,090 --> 01:11:14,830
Why do you have blood on your hands?
1491
01:11:16,930 --> 01:11:18,990
I found Brad outside.
1492
01:11:19,470 --> 01:11:20,370
She's the killer!
1493
01:11:20,730 --> 01:11:22,770
I am not the killer.
1494
01:11:23,010 --> 01:11:24,690
I'm not even sex positive.
1495
01:11:25,010 --> 01:11:25,790
I'm a virgin.
1496
01:11:26,390 --> 01:11:26,950
No way.
1497
01:11:27,310 --> 01:11:28,710
You're being like every dude in Woodsville.
1498
01:11:29,210 --> 01:11:30,030
Fuck you.
1499
01:11:32,330 --> 01:11:33,970
The butt doesn't count.
1500
01:11:39,110 --> 01:11:41,930
Welcome to act three, bitches.
1501
01:11:43,750 --> 01:11:44,310
What?
1502
01:11:45,770 --> 01:11:47,230
What does that even mean?
1503
01:11:48,450 --> 01:11:50,550
It's when the shit goes down.
1504
01:11:51,170 --> 01:11:51,370
Oh.
1505
01:11:51,790 --> 01:11:54,690
I still don't really know what she means, but I think we should run!
1506
01:12:08,750 --> 01:12:09,310
Wait!
1507
01:12:13,410 --> 01:12:13,970
Linda!
1508
01:12:14,530 --> 01:12:15,910
I think it might've been a shooter.
1509
01:12:16,370 --> 01:12:17,490
It's a lie.
1510
01:12:17,870 --> 01:12:19,610
I've learned it on video games.
1511
01:12:19,910 --> 01:12:22,070
Not the liquor or lack of parental supervision.
1512
01:12:22,530 --> 01:12:23,370
You're gonna need this.
1513
01:12:23,710 --> 01:12:25,650
Do you have one bigger and black?
1514
01:12:26,090 --> 01:12:27,490
A rotten egg.
1515
01:12:29,250 --> 01:12:30,790
Hey, who are you?
1516
01:12:30,930 --> 01:12:31,550
John Wick?
1517
01:12:31,930 --> 01:12:34,210
I would've said ballerina, but nobody saw that shit.
1518
01:12:34,890 --> 01:12:35,890
Let's do this.
1519
01:12:36,350 --> 01:12:37,110
Oh, okay.
1520
01:12:37,970 --> 01:12:38,450
No!
1521
01:12:41,830 --> 01:12:42,590
Tell me!
1522
01:12:43,290 --> 01:12:44,530
I'm definitely not pregnant.
1523
01:12:44,650 --> 01:12:45,350
I can't believe it.
1524
01:12:45,550 --> 01:12:46,450
What do you think?
1525
01:12:47,550 --> 01:12:49,510
I think Drake lost to Kendrick.
1526
01:12:49,670 --> 01:12:51,090
I still like Drake.
1527
01:12:51,310 --> 01:12:52,650
But what was up with that love shoot?
1528
01:12:52,730 --> 01:12:54,370
That's such a bitch ass move.
1529
01:12:54,590 --> 01:12:56,310
About this situation.
1530
01:12:56,970 --> 01:12:58,790
Oh, that's definitely a trap.
1531
01:12:58,990 --> 01:13:00,390
She don't know where we are depending on that.
1532
01:13:01,950 --> 01:13:02,670
Look out!
1533
01:13:08,799 --> 01:13:10,310
I'm not gonna make it!
1534
01:13:10,350 --> 01:13:10,950
I doubt it.
1535
01:13:10,970 --> 01:13:11,950
Oh, God, Cindy!
1536
01:13:13,330 --> 01:13:14,890
Oh, my bitch!
1537
01:13:15,030 --> 01:13:16,350
I'm not dead yet!
1538
01:13:17,010 --> 01:13:18,130
Oh, my bad.
1539
01:13:18,410 --> 01:13:18,570
I'm sorry.
1540
01:13:18,750 --> 01:13:20,070
Now you go back in there.
1541
01:13:21,110 --> 01:13:21,890
Finish it.
1542
01:13:22,470 --> 01:13:23,450
For me, Cindy.
1543
01:13:23,770 --> 01:13:25,210
I would do anything for you, Brenda.
1544
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:33,760
She bought it!
1545
01:13:33,980 --> 01:13:35,380
That don't catch up trick.
1546
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:36,400
It don't fail.
1547
01:13:36,740 --> 01:13:37,600
That bitch is crazy.
1548
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:39,920
She thought I was taking my black ass back in there.
1549
01:13:40,620 --> 01:13:41,960
I'm gonna kill you!
1550
01:13:44,340 --> 01:13:45,700
Attention all children!
1551
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:49,320
You have five seconds to show yourselves!
1552
01:14:03,040 --> 01:14:04,380
Tweet, bitch!
1553
01:14:05,080 --> 01:14:07,020
You shot my favorite ball!
1554
01:14:07,540 --> 01:14:09,060
Go back to your old damn plan!
1555
01:14:09,920 --> 01:14:10,260
Don't!
1556
01:14:20,020 --> 01:14:21,540
Hello, Cindy.
1557
01:14:22,680 --> 01:14:23,320
Hello.
1558
01:14:24,140 --> 01:14:28,140
Looks like you forgot the first rule of surviving a horror movie.
1559
01:14:28,420 --> 01:14:30,300
Never answer that door.
1560
01:14:31,680 --> 01:14:34,860
I thought the first rule was never to trust the level trust.
1561
01:14:36,540 --> 01:14:37,140
Oh, really?
1562
01:14:37,620 --> 01:14:38,960
Well, I'm changing rules.
1563
01:14:39,060 --> 01:14:39,640
How about that?
1564
01:14:40,640 --> 01:14:41,460
New rule.
1565
01:14:42,340 --> 01:14:43,720
Go fuck yourself.
1566
01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:44,740
Wait, wait.
1567
01:14:46,420 --> 01:14:48,940
Why do you hate closets so much?
1568
01:14:49,100 --> 01:14:50,600
I told you to come out.
1569
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:52,620
Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot.
1570
01:14:52,860 --> 01:14:53,920
Ironic, isn't it?
1571
01:14:54,920 --> 01:14:55,940
You missed me.
1572
01:14:57,200 --> 01:14:58,860
Oh, God, it moves me.
1573
01:14:59,340 --> 01:14:59,860
It's in trouble.
1574
01:15:01,680 --> 01:15:02,940
You think you're John Wick?
1575
01:15:03,220 --> 01:15:04,460
I'm like a future dog.
1576
01:15:04,460 --> 01:15:06,860
What are you doing?
1577
01:15:09,200 --> 01:15:11,360
Mr. Todd, it's just a metaphor.
1578
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:13,700
It was about losing his wife.
1579
01:15:13,820 --> 01:15:14,980
Are you sure it's not an allegory?
1580
01:15:25,640 --> 01:15:27,220
Let us begin.
1581
01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:37,620
Come on.
1582
01:15:47,580 --> 01:15:49,740
Oh, that stunt girl is good.
1583
01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:30,500
Eat a dick.
1584
01:16:41,020 --> 01:16:42,120
Shoot him, Sarah.
1585
01:16:42,500 --> 01:16:43,100
End this.
1586
01:16:43,300 --> 01:16:44,620
Don't tell me what to do.
1587
01:16:44,860 --> 01:16:51,440
This isn't the best time to resolve our mommy-daughter issues, but, Sarah, I am so sorry.
1588
01:16:51,620 --> 01:16:53,000
I have been a terrible mother.
1589
01:16:53,580 --> 01:16:55,780
I don't even know your sister Wednesday.
1590
01:16:56,180 --> 01:16:56,560
Tuesday.
1591
01:16:57,040 --> 01:16:59,640
Have to clarify that for legal reasons.
1592
01:17:00,160 --> 01:17:01,680
But I prepared you for this.
1593
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:03,460
So go on, baby.
1594
01:17:03,940 --> 01:17:05,120
You kill him.
1595
01:17:05,520 --> 01:17:06,040
Sarah!
1596
01:17:06,660 --> 01:17:07,080
Jack!
1597
01:17:07,200 --> 01:17:07,500
Sarah!
1598
01:17:07,920 --> 01:17:08,440
Jack!
1599
01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:09,020
Sarah!
1600
01:17:09,200 --> 01:17:09,580
Jack!
1601
01:17:09,980 --> 01:17:10,440
Sarah!
1602
01:17:10,700 --> 01:17:11,180
Jack!
1603
01:17:11,340 --> 01:17:11,680
Sarah!
1604
01:17:11,840 --> 01:17:12,120
Jack!
1605
01:17:12,300 --> 01:17:12,580
Sarah!
1606
01:17:12,820 --> 01:17:13,120
Sarah!
1607
01:17:13,120 --> 01:17:13,220
Sarah!
1608
01:17:13,220 --> 01:17:13,340
Sarah!
1609
01:17:13,340 --> 01:17:15,920
Thank God you're okay, because I really wanted to be the one to kill you!
1610
01:17:16,760 --> 01:17:17,960
I won't take it, baby.
1611
01:17:18,260 --> 01:17:18,980
Oh, oh!
1612
01:17:19,780 --> 01:17:21,860
Bee, I told you it was about me.
1613
01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:23,620
No, Sarah.
1614
01:17:25,200 --> 01:17:26,400
You were just a bait.
1615
01:17:27,180 --> 01:17:28,240
It's about her.
1616
01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:29,740
Fuck!
1617
01:17:29,960 --> 01:17:31,000
Oh, sorry, honey.
1618
01:17:31,200 --> 01:17:32,240
I hate being right.
1619
01:17:32,980 --> 01:17:34,340
You should have listened to Doofy.
1620
01:17:35,260 --> 01:17:36,600
A bit twist.
1621
01:17:37,300 --> 01:17:39,560
It just seems too obvious, you know?
1622
01:17:39,700 --> 01:17:42,040
Which makes you think it is not obvious.
1623
01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:42,800
Same page, honey.
1624
01:17:42,920 --> 01:17:45,260
Yeah, well, that's the twist!
1625
01:17:45,840 --> 01:17:46,560
Now get in the kitchen.
1626
01:17:46,860 --> 01:17:47,060
Go!
1627
01:17:47,060 --> 01:17:48,140
What the hell are you doing?
1628
01:17:48,700 --> 01:17:50,060
Okay, listen up!
1629
01:17:51,160 --> 01:17:55,500
See, there hasn't been a great horror movie since the first one.
1630
01:17:56,040 --> 01:17:57,300
We're going to save the franchise.
1631
01:17:57,960 --> 01:17:59,020
Go get our special guest star.
1632
01:18:01,930 --> 01:18:03,849
Hollywood is out of ideas.
1633
01:18:04,570 --> 01:18:06,790
Why else would there be a scary movie, Six?
1634
01:18:07,010 --> 01:18:08,990
But it wouldn't work with just the new characters, would it?
1635
01:18:09,230 --> 01:18:11,450
We need the legacy characters.
1636
01:18:11,830 --> 01:18:16,850
Oh, and there wouldn't be a Cindy without her sassy, black sidekick, Brenda.
1637
01:18:16,850 --> 01:18:20,250
You ain't have to say black with no heart beat like that.
1638
01:18:20,290 --> 01:18:22,810
Brenda, didn't you get shot?
1639
01:18:23,750 --> 01:18:24,150
Dara?
1640
01:18:25,610 --> 01:18:27,210
Oh, wait, that's it!
1641
01:18:27,510 --> 01:18:27,830
Oh, look!
1642
01:18:29,840 --> 01:18:30,940
Mom, what are you doing?
1643
01:18:30,940 --> 01:18:31,620
Stop dancing!
1644
01:18:31,840 --> 01:18:32,300
Oh, my God!
1645
01:18:32,300 --> 01:18:32,980
Stop dancing!
1646
01:18:33,100 --> 01:18:34,160
Everybody stop dancing!
1647
01:18:34,740 --> 01:18:35,340
Oh!
1648
01:18:36,100 --> 01:18:36,700
Mom!
1649
01:18:37,340 --> 01:18:37,820
No!
1650
01:18:39,240 --> 01:18:41,020
You called me Mom.
1651
01:18:41,940 --> 01:18:43,840
You care about me.
1652
01:18:44,660 --> 01:18:46,380
I want to go that far, but I'm in.
1653
01:18:46,380 --> 01:18:47,540
Sure.
1654
01:18:47,720 --> 01:18:48,480
Go get Tuesday.
1655
01:18:49,100 --> 01:18:50,260
Okay, ladies.
1656
01:18:50,420 --> 01:18:52,300
Time to stage the party.
1657
01:18:52,980 --> 01:18:55,060
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
1658
01:18:55,380 --> 01:18:55,700
Oh!
1659
01:18:56,180 --> 01:18:56,440
What?
1660
01:18:57,380 --> 01:18:58,740
Who are you people?
1661
01:18:58,940 --> 01:19:01,840
We're the motherfuckers who are taking over this franchise.
1662
01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:03,240
Oh, yeah?
1663
01:19:03,980 --> 01:19:04,580
Okay.
1664
01:19:05,160 --> 01:19:06,020
Oh, my God.
1665
01:19:06,100 --> 01:19:08,180
That was not part of the plan.
1666
01:19:09,020 --> 01:19:09,539
Oh, my God.
1667
01:19:11,200 --> 01:19:12,680
Neither was this.
1668
01:19:13,260 --> 01:19:13,860
Oh!
1669
01:19:14,120 --> 01:19:14,520
Oh!
1670
01:19:15,940 --> 01:19:18,580
Wait, bring out one of those.
1671
01:19:18,760 --> 01:19:19,200
Oh!
1672
01:19:19,780 --> 01:19:20,760
Hot damn!
1673
01:19:23,260 --> 01:19:24,300
Anthony Anderson?
1674
01:19:24,860 --> 01:19:28,580
Yeah, and I brought my boy Kevin Hart with me.
1675
01:19:35,630 --> 01:19:36,150
What?
1676
01:19:36,470 --> 01:19:36,890
Shot?
1677
01:19:37,270 --> 01:19:37,850
That's right.
1678
01:19:38,070 --> 01:19:41,590
On my knees on the same night as Kevin, and Kevin said no.
1679
01:19:42,070 --> 01:19:43,050
Kevin Hart said no?
1680
01:19:43,330 --> 01:19:44,970
That little motherfucker says yes to everything.
1681
01:19:45,550 --> 01:19:46,210
Yeah, he does.
1682
01:19:46,210 --> 01:19:47,430
But wait.
1683
01:19:47,910 --> 01:19:49,290
There's more.
1684
01:19:50,470 --> 01:19:51,710
Ta-da!
1685
01:19:53,310 --> 01:19:53,930
Bitches!
1686
01:19:54,190 --> 01:19:54,590
Ray!
1687
01:19:54,990 --> 01:19:55,610
Shorty!
1688
01:19:55,770 --> 01:19:57,210
Yeah, that's right.
1689
01:19:57,950 --> 01:20:00,460
For Black Kill Year.
1690
01:20:00,870 --> 01:20:01,650
We're making history.
1691
01:20:02,350 --> 01:20:04,870
It's a new definition of black excellence.
1692
01:20:06,130 --> 01:20:07,630
But why would you do this?
1693
01:20:07,910 --> 01:20:08,330
Question.
1694
01:20:08,430 --> 01:20:08,930
It is.
1695
01:20:09,630 --> 01:20:12,070
Why would you try to make a sequel without us, huh?
1696
01:20:12,070 --> 01:20:16,870
Yeah, when the studio wanted to replace these brothers, I was there.
1697
01:20:17,330 --> 01:20:17,850
That's facts.
1698
01:20:18,430 --> 01:20:18,950
What about me?
1699
01:20:19,650 --> 01:20:20,190
What about you?
1700
01:20:20,450 --> 01:20:22,810
You were in one scene in part four.
1701
01:20:23,170 --> 01:20:26,030
Yes, but I made that motherfucker Dr. Phil cut his foot off.
1702
01:20:26,150 --> 01:20:27,150
And he crazy now.
1703
01:20:27,190 --> 01:20:28,130
Yeah, he got winded.
1704
01:20:28,510 --> 01:20:30,490
But you see what they trying to do?
1705
01:20:30,670 --> 01:20:32,710
They trying to pit us all up against each other.
1706
01:20:32,910 --> 01:20:35,630
They trying to start black on very black crime.
1707
01:20:35,830 --> 01:20:36,270
That's right.
1708
01:20:36,990 --> 01:20:37,470
Yo, Shot.
1709
01:20:38,010 --> 01:20:39,790
Hey, I'm proud of you, bro.
1710
01:20:39,790 --> 01:20:44,050
You've had an amazing career as a sports commentator since retiring from basketball.
1711
01:20:44,090 --> 01:20:46,530
And I love the big podcast.
1712
01:20:46,710 --> 01:20:47,730
I love that shit.
1713
01:20:48,390 --> 01:20:50,290
Even though I don't understand a word you be saying.
1714
01:20:50,670 --> 01:20:51,890
You be on that show talking about...
1715
01:20:51,890 --> 01:20:52,850
All right, all right, Benjamin.
1716
01:20:53,410 --> 01:20:54,150
All right, all right.
1717
01:20:54,170 --> 01:20:54,690
Thanks, Benjamin.
1718
01:20:55,770 --> 01:20:56,250
Kobe.
1719
01:20:56,630 --> 01:20:57,090
Enough.
1720
01:20:57,970 --> 01:21:01,210
But my point is, nigga, I love your shit.
1721
01:21:02,550 --> 01:21:04,490
But I never got over Kazam.
1722
01:21:05,030 --> 01:21:07,490
Get out of here, Ray.
1723
01:21:07,650 --> 01:21:09,130
Get your big ass over here.
1724
01:21:09,150 --> 01:21:11,670
Why did you leave the veggies?
1725
01:21:12,070 --> 01:21:13,430
You and Kobe, who the heck?
1726
01:21:13,710 --> 01:21:14,230
Nice.
1727
01:21:14,850 --> 01:21:16,250
That motherfucker treated me.
1728
01:21:16,670 --> 01:21:17,190
Shaquille.
1729
01:21:17,769 --> 01:21:20,690
How big is your butt?
1730
01:21:20,850 --> 01:21:21,370
22.
1731
01:21:21,550 --> 01:21:24,290
Then how big is your dick?
1732
01:21:24,530 --> 01:21:25,850
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ray.
1733
01:21:26,050 --> 01:21:26,530
Boss.
1734
01:21:26,630 --> 01:21:27,670
What the fuck you talking about?
1735
01:21:27,710 --> 01:21:28,790
I'm doing it for the culture.
1736
01:21:29,110 --> 01:21:30,050
What culture?
1737
01:21:30,550 --> 01:21:31,330
Culture club.
1738
01:21:31,790 --> 01:21:32,570
Uh-oh.
1739
01:21:32,570 --> 01:21:33,250
Come on, Ray.
1740
01:21:33,250 --> 01:21:33,890
We killing people.
1741
01:21:34,010 --> 01:21:34,450
Stay focused.
1742
01:21:34,450 --> 01:21:35,170
All right, all right, all right.
1743
01:21:35,310 --> 01:21:35,650
We back.
1744
01:21:36,610 --> 01:21:38,930
Hey, don't you worry.
1745
01:21:39,090 --> 01:21:39,870
We family.
1746
01:21:40,790 --> 01:21:42,150
Mad respect, man.
1747
01:21:43,050 --> 01:21:45,390
Black is nominated for eight Emmys.
1748
01:21:45,450 --> 01:21:46,090
My nigga.
1749
01:21:47,230 --> 01:21:49,650
Actually, the show was only nominated for five.
1750
01:21:49,830 --> 01:21:51,690
I was nominated for eight.
1751
01:21:51,810 --> 01:21:52,410
Wow.
1752
01:21:52,890 --> 01:21:53,790
Way to go.
1753
01:21:53,990 --> 01:21:54,830
He's the best.
1754
01:21:55,130 --> 01:21:55,350
He is.
1755
01:21:55,750 --> 01:21:57,930
Oh, the nomination.
1756
01:21:58,810 --> 01:21:59,410
Yeah.
1757
01:22:01,630 --> 01:22:03,090
But you never were.
1758
01:22:03,190 --> 01:22:03,690
What?
1759
01:22:04,470 --> 01:22:04,690
Shit.
1760
01:22:05,490 --> 01:22:06,310
Oh, no.
1761
01:22:07,470 --> 01:22:09,190
No face match to me, motherfucker.
1762
01:22:09,390 --> 01:22:10,370
This shit is for doing.
1763
01:22:10,510 --> 01:22:12,370
Scary movies paying for.
1764
01:22:12,670 --> 01:22:14,750
I literally fired the family.
1765
01:22:15,030 --> 01:22:19,890
Is this a copy of our good times episode on Slackish?
1766
01:22:20,050 --> 01:22:21,520
But you guys were on the WB.
1767
01:22:23,050 --> 01:22:24,970
Nobody saw that shit.
1768
01:22:27,150 --> 01:22:27,390
Oh.
1769
01:22:27,550 --> 01:22:28,150
No, no, no.
1770
01:22:28,150 --> 01:22:29,230
And you.
1771
01:22:29,690 --> 01:22:30,310
And you.
1772
01:22:30,890 --> 01:22:33,670
Y'all went and did scary movie three and four without us.
1773
01:22:33,910 --> 01:22:34,910
I'm sorry.
1774
01:22:35,050 --> 01:22:40,050
They often be sucking the leaves, they don't itch.
1775
01:22:41,070 --> 01:22:42,010
What about you?
1776
01:22:43,350 --> 01:22:48,010
Well, I had a chance to work with the incomparable Charlie Sheen.
1777
01:22:50,320 --> 01:22:50,940
That's good.
1778
01:22:51,140 --> 01:22:53,200
He's a legend in his dick games.
1779
01:22:53,300 --> 01:22:53,640
Crazy.
1780
01:22:53,980 --> 01:22:58,700
You know, he slept with 47,000 women and 1,000 of them women were dudes.
1781
01:22:58,960 --> 01:22:59,980
Lucky guy.
1782
01:23:01,140 --> 01:23:01,740
Wait.
1783
01:23:02,280 --> 01:23:03,800
So y'all gonna kill us now?
1784
01:23:05,380 --> 01:23:05,980
Nah.
1785
01:23:07,100 --> 01:23:09,600
What would Halloween be without Jamie Lee Curtis?
1786
01:23:09,900 --> 01:23:11,900
Or Scream be without Nev Kim?
1787
01:23:12,220 --> 01:23:13,380
That would be Scream 6.
1788
01:23:13,580 --> 01:23:16,140
How did you guys pull all of this off?
1789
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:16,780
Sandy.
1790
01:23:17,580 --> 01:23:19,720
You know how many wages there are?
1791
01:23:20,540 --> 01:23:21,420
Nigga, billions.
1792
01:23:21,820 --> 01:23:22,260
Billions.
1793
01:23:22,660 --> 01:23:25,500
I'm just so happy that the old gang is back together.
1794
01:23:26,140 --> 01:23:28,400
Okay, in the middle, on three.
1795
01:23:28,400 --> 01:23:29,780
Corp 4.
1796
01:23:30,060 --> 01:23:30,980
Nah, nah.
1797
01:23:31,100 --> 01:23:31,460
Beat that.
1798
01:23:31,660 --> 01:23:32,480
That's corny.
1799
01:23:32,520 --> 01:23:32,900
That's wack.
1800
01:23:33,640 --> 01:23:37,080
What about the young and the restless?
1801
01:23:37,440 --> 01:23:39,920
Yeah, or the old and then the beautiful.
1802
01:23:40,280 --> 01:23:42,820
Or the cute and the crusty.
1803
01:23:42,960 --> 01:23:45,000
Yeah, or the sexy and then the seedy.
1804
01:23:51,200 --> 01:23:53,580
We were brought in to take over the franchise.
1805
01:23:53,980 --> 01:23:54,580
That's right.
1806
01:23:55,080 --> 01:23:56,880
And you've been here like 70 years.
1807
01:23:56,880 --> 01:23:57,320
Whoa.
1808
01:24:01,700 --> 01:24:03,640
I should drag that one for myself.
1809
01:24:04,000 --> 01:24:05,260
Oh, my back hurts.
1810
01:24:06,860 --> 01:24:07,860
Guys, guys.
1811
01:24:08,100 --> 01:24:09,200
They're already dead.
1812
01:24:09,400 --> 01:24:09,560
Nah.
1813
01:24:10,160 --> 01:24:11,480
Little fuckers always come back.
1814
01:24:11,700 --> 01:24:12,140
Oh, no.
1815
01:24:12,460 --> 01:24:13,320
Not this time.
1816
01:24:13,680 --> 01:24:14,160
Exactly.
1817
01:24:14,440 --> 01:24:15,280
Come on, let's go.
1818
01:24:15,420 --> 01:24:15,840
Let's go.
1819
01:24:16,060 --> 01:24:16,540
We're not even ready.
1820
01:24:17,460 --> 01:24:18,020
Next one.
1821
01:24:18,200 --> 01:24:18,800
Next one.
1822
01:24:19,080 --> 01:24:20,260
Next generation.
1823
01:24:20,480 --> 01:24:21,260
My ass.
1824
01:24:26,520 --> 01:24:29,400
Whoa, bitch.
1825
01:24:29,560 --> 01:24:29,880
Whoa.
1826
01:24:41,280 --> 01:24:42,660
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1827
01:24:43,000 --> 01:24:44,140
Can we shoot that?
1828
01:24:44,280 --> 01:24:45,480
I mean, those are our kids.
1829
01:24:45,940 --> 01:24:47,000
Fuck those kids.
1830
01:24:47,700 --> 01:24:49,220
This is our franchise.
1831
01:24:49,500 --> 01:24:53,980
Yeah, besides, did you know all these dramatic walkaways to find that was?
1832
01:24:54,480 --> 01:24:55,420
Damn, son.
1833
01:24:56,100 --> 01:24:56,840
Oh, no.
1834
01:24:57,360 --> 01:24:58,360
I kind of like you.
1835
01:24:59,560 --> 01:25:00,680
You do, right?
1836
01:25:00,920 --> 01:25:01,720
We should play fire.
1837
01:25:01,900 --> 01:25:03,760
You want to dress up like a bad bitch?
1838
01:25:04,060 --> 01:25:05,660
No, I want you to dress up like a bad bitch.
1839
01:25:06,940 --> 01:25:07,800
Y'all do the drag.
118546
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