All language subtitles for Ervinka.ENG

What happened?

Haim Topol

"Arbinka"

A film by Ephraim Kishon

With Gila Almagor

"Just see how's she walking,

"If only she was smiling,

"I'd give her all the world,

"But everyone says" Arbinka,
when will you grow up?

Arbinka, when are you
going to grow up?

"If she'd ask to kiss me,

"just because she missed me,

"then I'd bring her flowers,
to fill up all her hours.

"But they all say," Arbinka,
when will you grow up?

"If she'd like to take a hike

"with me and my motor bike,

"then we'd go off on the track
and never ever come back.

"Let them all say" Arbinka,
when will you grow up?"

Arbinka, Arbinka,
when will you grow up?

Direction & Script
Ephraim Kishon

Subtitles:
Elrom Studios

Arbinka!

Guess who?

Shula. - You're right.

Shula, watch my diet.

Razor blades, toilet paper,
small combs.

Erasers, razor blades...
Toilet paper...

Don't disturb the guests.
- Razor blades, toilet paper.

Toilet soap, kid's balloons,
big balloons, small balloons.

He's not in.

Lottery? Lottery?

I still don't get a red.
Arbinka? - Nothing Yossi.

So much effort, knowledge,
so much love and good will,

I put in, and what do I get?
Nothing, robbers -Robbers.

You played doubles?
- No! 7, 9, 9, 7. You see?

Weak. - No Yossi, I just don't
have any luck. Any idiot can

buy a ticket from a kiosk in
the street and win 50,000,

and me? I get nothing
wholesale.

Why not me? Why?
- Or me?

Fillet of steak? Hamburger?
Bavarian cream?

Avi? Is there anything on this
evening? - A Bar Mitzvah.

So bring me a small
espresso. - And me.

Get out of here. Don't sit
with the guests.

Pardon me waiter, that's no
way to talk to my secretary.

A little courtesy eh? Razor
blades, tooth paste,

shoe polish, toilet paper?
Toilet soap? - I have some.

Razor blades, printing-press?
Steam-roller? - I have one.

A steam-roller, he's got one.
He doesn't even listen.

"Of course he doesn't listen.
You're old-fashioned, Yossi.

"Razor blades, toilet paper,
tractor. "

You, Sir, buy a comb! - I have
a comb. - Buy another one.

I don't need it. - But if I punch
you? - Punch me?

Punch you. Look,
let's think logically.

I punch you. It hurts, 'cause
I've got a strong arm

Understand? You yell, the
cops come, witnesses,

statements, courthouse,
lawyers, the works.

You see how it all begins?
Dear God, we don't need it.

Isn't it simpler, more humane,

to buy a comb, that's almost
new? - How much?

Two lira. - That's expensive.

Sure, a lawyer is cheaper.

Yossi, take it.

What about the other lira?
- That's my cut. Commission.

They're my goods aren't they?
- Yossi, don't be childish.

At last the business
is going well... - Yosef!

I want my lira. - Here you are.
A lira from the bank.

Let's play for it. - What shall
we play? - Poker.

I don't play card games.
- Not cards, Yossi, your head.

Poker in the head? - Yes.
How? - It's simple.

You think of a number,
I think of a number.

Whoever thinks of the
highest number wins the kitty.

Think of a number, that's it?
A lira in the kitty? - Yes.

Well? - So? - What's your number?
- Hold on.

11. - 12. Waiter!

I kept thinking of 14 and
the last minute, I said 11.

Why? I'll tell you why.
Because head-poker

is a game that needs a good
head. It's not like cards.

Another game. - OK. 2 lira in
the kitty. 2 lira.

What's your number?
- Don't look. - I'm not looking.

18. - 17.

Mr. Arbinka thought I'd
say 15, or at the most 16,

but he didn't think I'd land him
one like that with 18.

Really well done. Another
game? Another one.

Another game? - Please.

What's you're number?
Don't whisper it.

How annoying. I've got a great
number. - Can I hear it?

88.
- Wonderful. 639 333.

639 333?

You didn't say 639 in the last
game? - What do you mean?

'Cause I only thought of 17.
I don't understand this?

Why are you asking Yossi?
- Let's play another game.

OK. You got any money? -No.
- So you got no credit buddy.

Buy a comb or I'll punch you.
- Who's this?

Don't be angry. It's a mistake.
- Garbage.

Waiter! Two beers. Root.

Underworld eh?
- Yup.

Cops!

Stop! - We just popped in
for a minute. - Hold on.

Look at this. They've jammed
the traffic on the highway.

They do this to me everyday.
I don't like giving out fines.

That's what the law demands
of me. What can I do?

Leave it. It's mine!
- But I saw it first.

But I out rank you.
Give him Article 15.

Article 15, failure to stop at
lights. Yes Officer, sir.

You don't need to call me that.

You can just call me Sir.
- Yes, Officer, Sir.

I'm here now. I just got here.
I'm really sorry.

I just popped in to get
a coffee for a minute.

You just popped in for a
minute? Tell it to the judge.

Get him for 15.
You can see that I'm here now.

Sir, you are preventing me
carrying out my duties.

Good answer, policewoman.
- Just for a cup of a coffee?

Now I'll have to pay for it.
- Sir, one more word from you

and I'll get you for 83 as well.
Parking on the side-walk.

You see? That's why people
hate the police.

83a. - 83a. - But tell me,
why on earth?

Sir, I'm not a State official,
I'm just a policewoman.

Please Miss, I have just
one question, if I may. - Yes?

What are you doing this
evening? - I'm free. - Good.

Sir, I shall arrest you.
Driving license please?

I don't have one. - Nice. 23.
Do you have car insurance?

No. - You don't? - No
insurance. - No insurance.

Actually, I don't have a car
either. - You don't?

You don't have a car?
- No, I don't

He doesn't have a car.
- He doesn't have a car?

Who does the red sports car
belong to?

I told you I just popped in
for a cup of coffee, but

you don't give me a chance to
explain, you just jabber on.

Article 23. - 23.
- 83a. - 83a.

Article 15. - 15.
- And 5.

Hallo Security Forces.
I suggest Article 18,

23, 83, and all the best.

They're so good,
I could eat one of 'em.

What, are you hungry too?
Let's go to the bar mitzvah.

No Parking.
What's that?

A fine for the doctor.

Don't touch it!

It's a fine Mr. Arbinka. - For
me? - You're just a child!

May I?

Police? - Yes? - My bike
was stolen an hour ago.

Why do they always steal it?
I need it for work.

What? OK.
- That's something.

Arbinka, 26, Elhanan Street.
Yes, please,

You'll bring it to my home?
Thank you, but when?

Thank you for coming.
Congratulations Sir.

You're from the tax
department? - No from yours.

Zigler. - That's right, Zigler.
Thank you for coming.

Nice of you. Very nice of you.

Amos. And this is for little
Gershon. When you're big,

and you'll be wise and well
respected, like your father.

Nice.
- Nice of you.

Well done. - Well done.
- Well done.

What is it?

The kid looks stupid to me.
- Like his farther.

Thank you for coming,
Mr. And Mrs. Fuchs.

It's nice of you.
Really nice of you.

And this is for the
bar mitzvah boy.

Another book! - Gershon!

What's with you? What are
you talking about?

Thank you for coming.
Really, thank you.

Your happiness is mine.
- If I'm not mistaken, you're

From the department. - Yes.
From upstairs... - Yes.

Thank you.

Nice of you to come.
Really nice.

And this is for the boy.
- What is it?

Let's open it and see. - It's
skates. - As I said, skates.

We also bought skates like
that. - Then we'll change them.

Yosef. We'll exchange the
skates. It doesn't matter.

Chopped liver to the left.
- Thank you.

Fillet of steak, hamburger,
Bavarian cream...

Very good!

Between you and me, it's a
sign of bad taste, nowadays

to organize such a sumptuous
bar mitzvah like this.

It's surprising with his salary
that he can manage it.

It looks like he's doing over
time on the side. - You think?

What did you hear?
- As if you didn't know.

The parking lot? - Yes Zigler.
We didn't talk, Weinreit just...

Never mind Weinreit, you're
Not so innocent, yourself.

Excuse me, who's Weinreit?
- You're joking? It's his party.

Thank you for coming. - By the
way, I'm the photographer.

Now you come? - I had a
wedding. I'm ready now.

It's your mother being
clever again.

What did you say to him?
- Baby's crying, you know.

Waiter, is this what I came to
Gershon's bar mitzvah for?

At once. - Two. - Standards
are going down all the time.

Altogether. Only weddings Yossi.
Only weddings.

Oh, thank you.
- That's all that's left.

The chicken in the kitty
- OK. Chicken in the kitty

What's you number?
- My number? - You say.

What difference does it make?
- What number? - 2.

2? - 2. Why do you ask? - 6672.
Contra. - What's contra?

Double yours. Please.
Bon appetite.

Waiter, could we get some
more. There's no one to talk to

Let's go Yossi. We've eaten
enough. I'm full.

If I could get a
decent cigar now.

At yesterday's wedding they
had two cigars like that.

You don't get a wedding like
that every day. -That's a pity.

What's this? - It's my glasses.
I'm just cleaning

my glasses. That stewed fruit
with the plums?

I don't want to hear
any more about food.

Excuse me, why don't you
clean them on your shirt?

'Cause my shirt's tucked in,
can't you see that?

I asked for whipped cream.
Listen, don't tug alright?

I'm not tugging and I don't
know you. - Arbinka.

Nice to meet you, Hershkovitz
- Are you the photographer?

Yes and movies. Advertising.
Look, here's my card.

To my secretary. - If you ever
need anything, any time

pick up the phone...
- That's fine. We'll find you.

Come on Hershkovitz. How
long does it take you?

I'm coming, right now.
Excuse me. - Of course.

I must ask you both to leave
me alone.

Hershkovitz! - I'm coming.

This way please.
Don't move. Smile!

That's it.

That's it. Thank you.

That's it.

You're from the department?
- Yes, upstairs...

Funny, since we all moved in
together in the new building,

I don't know everyone.
- Well done. - Thanks.

We're all like one family here.
Everyone came except...

Who? - Goldberg. No?
- Goldberg didn't come.

He's a snake in the grass.
- It's not his fault.

They're all so provincial,
I'm telling you.

I'm fighting them because of...
- The parking lot.

Yes, we're all only human.
I'm afraid to say.

That Goldberg should just
show his face round here.

It's not him, it's the
workers'committee.

Exactly. At least there's one
person who understands me.

At my coming of age, I want
to thank my dear parents

my mother and father, and my
family for all their good

influence on me during all
of my happy life.

"Why does this road wind
like a snake?

"Why do the paths all lead
to the lake?

"Why do new buildings
already have cracks?

This city in which we live.
Who built the city of Tel-Aviv?

"Let him come, let him come,
the man who built the town.

"And he'll tell us why the
streets go round and round

"Why nothing in it
goes on straight.

"How you get from
the road to the street?

"How there's a bridge,
but no longer a stream?

"There is light where we live,
in this city of Tel-Aviv.

"Let him come, let him come,
the man who built the town.

"And he'll tell us why the
streets go round and round.

"That's the way it goes,
and it's really a pity.

"They all want to live here,
right in this city.

"They all want to live here,
right in this city.

"Tel-Aviv, Tel-Aviv, Tel-Aviv. "

Where are we? - I dunno.
I've never been here.

I'm so full. I ate so much.
- So let me... - Just a minute.

The apple's the kitty. - OK.
Can we start?

I'll start. - What difference?
You'll drive me crazy.

Right. What's your number?
- Two. - Three.

Contra! - Re-contra.
- What's re contra?

Re-contra is double contra.

You always have to be
cleverer than anyone else.

Always, more than
anyone else.

I'm not cleverer, I'm just
more concentrated.

What does that mean? - Look
people aren't concentrated.

How can I explain that?

You sit and talk with a guy,
who looks intelligent.

Eyes wide open, shining.
Then what? You find out the

guy has no idea what you've
been talking about. -None?

But, you can talk to another
guy with an egg face,

totally stupid, dull eyes.
You think he can't even

count up to two. And that guy,
my friend, didn't understand

a single word that you said.
You get me? - Of course.

The eye one catches on,
and the egg one doesn't.

You don't catch on either.
- Then explain it to me.

You're also not concentrated.
Hallo! Hallo!

Where are you going?
- Where?

What where? - Park at the
end and leave the keys inside.

We'll see to it...

Now you come! I don't get it.
Now they come!

It beats me. A lira.

Why a lira? In Frishman Street
it's only half a lira.

So go to Frishman.
By me, it's a lira.

You and your municipality.
To hell with you all.

Why's he shouting at me?
Do I decide? I'm just a cog.

Do I give the orders?
Dim your lights and reverse!

Park close to the other car.

Why? - Don't ask questions.
Just do it.

Please, dim your lights, go in
to the left and park near him.

Get ready a lira and a half.
That's what it costs now.

Yes please, come on,
come on. Dim your lights.

Quiet! It's 4:30 in the morning.
Some people work.

Can't hear you!

He must be bringing some of
those girls of his home.

He's such a wild man.

Come on, Honey, come in.
No one saw us coming in.

Put out the lights. We pay
enough for the electricity.

Go and do some work.

"The Lucky Winners"

They're kissing. 4:30 in the
morning and they're kissing.

You know all about it? - What
does he do all day? - Just...

Put your dress on the chair.

I didn't know you were
so beautiful.

How old are you?
Just a child.

Seducing little girls! - What
would you know about it?

What's up? I'm not alright?
- Yes, you're alright.

"This Week's Winner"
"50,000 Lira. "

Now you get here.

- 50,000 lira!

Congratulations.

Warmest greetings on behalf
of the Northern branch.

Well done!

And now for the guest of,
honor, who was an unknown

young man, and has become
the envy of everyone.

We ask the lucky winner,
how did you choose the

fateful numbers?
- 8, 5, 7, 3, 1, 2, 3, 4,

- 1 and 2, bend, bend,
stretch and turn,

bend, bend, 1, 2, 3, 4,

- 1, 2, enough!

Now we move on to
another exercise.

Bend your left knee and
now, we'll change legs.

One, -This is crazy!

- 1 and 2, 1 and 2, 1 and 2.
Left and right.

Left and right. Lift your head
and lift your buttocks.

It's crazy...

...stretch your leg and
bend the other one.

Bend and stretch. Now to
the beat. 1 stretch, 2 bend.

Bend, stretch...

Breathe in. Don't stop!
Bend, stretch.

- 1 and 2, bend and stretch.

Bend, stretch, bend, stretch.

Try and carry on.
Carry on a little longer.

- 1 and 2, bend and stretch,
- 1 and 2, bend and stretch.

Left and right,
bend and stretch.

Lie down flat. Hands behind
your head.

Bend your left knee in the
air. Lift the left leg.

And now bicycle riding.
Ready? Begin. 1 and 2.

1 and 2, 1 and 2.
A little faster.

1 and 2. Faster still.

And now, slow down,
- 1 and 2.

Slowly, slowly, and now stop.
Legs in the air...

Enough already. To hell
with it. It's enough.

Liz! Liz! - What's the matter?

Something funny happened.
The radio was crackling,

I yelled at it to stop and it
stopped. - Yeah, sure.

You're not going to play cards
again. - I swear, it stopped.

You'll see.
It will happen again.

You and your fantasies.
It's not even crackling.

So now, you can't even
make a little crackle?

Morris, I'm scared.
I'll die Morris.

I told you so.

Now tell it to stop.
- You tell it.

You're a man.

Stop!

Wow...

Something's got into
the radio.

Mr. Arbinka? - Where is he?
- In bed, he doesn't feel good.

Mr. Arbinka? - Yes? Do you
think that a thing like a radio

has a life like a person does?
- Na, get out of here.

I just asked.

My grandfather.
- You have a grandfather?

I had. He believed that
things like a lamp

or a phonograph
did have a life.

What? - What's up?
Thank you, it's nothing.

My grandfather thought
the phonograph hated him.

That's funny, isn't it?
- Hated him?

Yes, and that same night,
they found him dead, next

to the phonograph,
with his arms round it.

And the record was still going
round and round.

Wow, my head feels funny.

Morris!

I'm on my way.

You found it! You are
amazing cops. Well done.

It's been 24 hours.
Where did you find it?

Arbinka. The thief left it
in the middle of the sidewalk.

What do you say, in the
middle of the sidewalk...

But you did very well. By the life
of me, that was a good job.

Just a minute. Don't forget
to pay the fine.

So who will pay? The thief?

Who do you think?
The victim? Get out of here.

Shula? Did you see that?

Very nice. Get in touch
in two weeks. - A month.

Hallo. - Please meet the
doctor. - Please move.

What, am I a friend of yours?
- Please move.

Do you have a boy friend?
- No. - No?

So maybe I can be your
boy-friend? Move along!

Why do you drive me crazy?

Arbinka... - This is my buddy.
- Pleased to meet you.

Wait here. We'll pick some
flowers and be right back.

It's wonderful here. So quiet.

Say Yossi, are you attracted
to policewomen? - No -No?

I am a lot. - Why, because
of the uniform?

No, I also like 'em without.

"I have a policewoman,
with a thousand strings.

Ants! - Look at those ants.
Aren't they great.

Running, working, carrying.
What order, what discipline.

Happily working and busy.
It makes me sick.

But who makes 'em work
like that? Who, tell me?

Lazy people don't win
the lottery. - Robbers!

Are you never going to work
Mr. Arbinka?

See here Yosef, as long as
I'm young, strong and able,

I want, my friend, to lie in
the sun and think, to enjoy

myself, to go out, come in,
and maybe when I'm old,

and toothless, maybe,
I don't promise,

but maybe, I'll get myself a
job as a night watchmen.

You're laughing at me
Mr. Arbinka, at everyone.

You see Yosef, I don't have
time to fix the whole world,

I have to love it the way it is.
It's a waste to hate it.

So what's left? To laugh.
So I laugh.

But you always laugh,
Mr. Arbinka. Always.

I was born that way, Yosef.
What can I do?

When I was born, I came out,
legs up in the air,

and head downwards.

So I see the world upside
down and that's funny.

Hey, Ho, who's this?
A nice cop.

Whose is that motor-bike
on the road? - It's ours.

Wait.

They're killing each other and
nobody cares a damn.

No one stops them. - Animals.
Should we separate them?

Yes, sure but hang on,
let's wait and see.

Hey cop, could I...
- An eye for an eye.

He's strong, they're strong,
but only the jet engines of

our passenger airlines
are very much stronger.

What the hell is that row?
- Hallo. - We meet again.

Carry on, it's interesting.
- Please move on from here.

Why, we want to see?
Carry on. - So kill the engine.

Put it on, put it off, put it on.
- It's the garage that costs.

What does it cost? - 25 lira.
- How much? - OK so 50.

Action! - Action! - No!

The automatic fridge that self
defrosts all year round.

A washing machine that
fits into any space.

The quietest air-conditioner
in the Middle East.

Action!

From your fan club. - Please.
Gentlemen, I warn you.

Yosef, let's go before
she calls the cops.

Tomorrow, same place?

"Birenbaum Forest"

Straighten your back, raise
your head, bend the knees.

Bend and stretch.
Bend and stretch.

Raise your head and
straighten the back.

Lift, lift...

Bend and stretch.
Bend and stretch.

With all your strenth.
Bend and stretch.

Stretch your body. Good.
Enough. Arms outstretched.

Turn left. Face right.

Now to the beat. 1 and 2...

What does he want from me?
- He hates you.

Why? What have I done
to him? I even like him.

That was our morning
exercise program. - Crazy.

What did we do wrong?
How have we wronged him?

We haven't done anything bad
to him. He's just like that.

Not really Morris. Don't you
remember Yom Kippur?

It was only a little bit and it
was salty. It was nothing.

We need more garlic on the
radio. Mom says that helps.

I don't believe in all those
things. Not beads not

peppers or anything else.
Only horseshoes help.

Did you pay for the radio
license? - Not yet

I'll pay it. I'll pay it.

We never had a radio
get mad at us before.

Why?

What's that terrible noise?
Doesn't it ever stop?

It's bad this morning.
- Did you try talking to it?

We tried. We did.
- And...?

Perhaps, Mr. Arbinka,
with your connections?

I can try, but I don't
promise anything.

Thank you and now...
It's definitely cooperating.

Let me have a sign.

Enough.

The radio is in a bad state.
- What should we do Doctor?

Dunno. I'd say you shouldn't
work it too hard.

Maybe you shouldn't put it on
so early in the morning, when

the neighbors are still asleep
- We won't put it on early. - OK.

Thank you very much.

Hold on. Maybe it's better not
to put it on at all.

I said maybe it's better not to
put it on at all.

This radio, never?
What do you say?

Answer me. Better not to
put it on at all?

Not at all. Have you gone
deaf? Tell me.

Say, can't you hear
what I'm asking?

I'm asking if it's not a good
idea not to put this

damned radio on ever again.
So answer me.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you've heard.
You can stop now.

We got the message.
Thank you very much.

Like a little boy playing
with the electricity.

That's all rubbish. What are
you doing here? Go home.

We don't have a bed.

Morris, don't go and get killed.

You'll see. You'll get yours.
Both of you. Liars, cheaters.

Bastards!

Liz, you know why our
electricity bill is so high?

This is his meter and this is
our meter and our meter is

working for him as well.

"One of 1500 Prizes"

Don't fall. Don't move.

Move! Move!
- And me...

The prize-giving will start
now, Sir.

The happy recipient.
- 50, 000!

I am happy to award this prize
from the National lottery.

Number 113, series 57.

Bastard!

I promise you that I'll get to
shake that hand.

Amen. It's a shame we can't
get inside, Mr. Arbinka.

Who can't?

Once more our wandering
mike gets to the lottery

and we are witness to the
realization of all our dreams.

The lottery award, dear
listeners, affords us

all great joy,
but none so much

as for the directors
of this loathsome organization,

who are about to hand over
the prize to the winner.

Leave me alone now.

Good day to you, Mr. Director.
Be good enough to tell our

listeners what are a citizen's
chances of winning

the big prize. - 1: 1,300,000
- But that's not often.

In other words, no chance?

You got to be crazy to buy
a lottery ticket.

And for all that, here we are
with the happy winner.

Please. - Poor old me.
- Sir, you are no longer poor.

You are rich. - Excellent.
- Great.

Let's ask the winner what
system he used

to buy the ticket.
- I just bought it.

Do you always buy the same
number? - I took it.

So you took a reserved ticket?
- Who says it was reserved?

What do you mean by that?
Tell me,

do you work in a series?
Say 7, 9, 9, 7.

How do you do it? - I bought it
in the street. - In the street.

Just like that? Without any
special system?

You don't put any effort or
any knowledge into it?

He goes in the street and he
buys. Say man, d'you know

that every day I buy loads
of tickets? Loads of 'em...

I work according to a system,
and get nothing.

Tell me. Is it all a matter of
luck? I don't understand

what do you do with my
numbers. How do you

manage never to get one of
them? How do you do it?

Robbers! It's my money!
Give it back to me.

I invest it here,
week by week.

Every week I...

I want to shake your hand,
just once.

To be the happy winner from
Nes Ziona or Tel-Aviv.

Or Zichron Yaacov,
I don't care.

Get the police here at once.

Vehicle on the sidewalk.
Get it taken away.

What's with the motorbike?
- It's a lottery.

What's going on?

What are all these
people doing?

Robbers, let go of me.

I knew it. It's the
crazy guy again.

I won't. I won't.

Get out of here. Please.

Yosef!

Yosef. Don't leave me.
Don't leave me.

Tell all the family.

It won't help you.
It's my money.

And so dear listeners,
we leave the building of

the National lottery and
take you on to

the police station.
Goodbye. Carry on.

Yona, this is Arad, 2
Over. - All clear. Over.

As it happens, I'd like
to start a new life.

Let's escape overseas.

I've got a raft.

What are you doing
this evening?

Sergeant? - Yes, policewoman.
- What's the time, please?

17:00-Thank you.

Over. - Clear. - Over.

Clown.
- Traffic-cop.

Remove your hand. - Sorry.

Examine the prisoner.

Nothing.
- Profession?

Peddler. I go to coffee houses
and sell razor blades,

toothpaste, shoe polish,
cotton wool and balloons.

It's empty. - Of course. No-one
buys anything anyway, so

why should I lug around
something heavy with me?

So why do you take it around
to coffee houses?

I have to make a living.
- Your name?

Arbinka. A like apple and
R like in Rhodes.

V like valley,
like lily of the valley.

What's your profession? -
Clown -That's true.

One clown -Yes.

Born? - Yes. - Living? - Yes.

Education? - Well, it's like this.
Grade school. - That's it?

And that's it. - Father's name?
- Don't know.

Mother's name?

The accused was in
possession of at least

60 lottery tickets. - Why?
- I ask myself that question.

The accused plays tricks
all the time.

He impedes proper
police procedure.

He is armed with
a pair of sharp scissors.

Too sharp. - Believe me,

it's only for protection.
- What's the charge?

Disturbance of the peace
in a public place.

Honey.
- A man of no principles.

Do you have a lawyer?
- Mine is overseas.

Take them to 107.
- That's all? - That's all.

No fingerprints?

Alright, so come with me.

Please.

Give me a whirl, on the
motorbike. - Baby.

I'm going mad, I'm actually
kissing authority. - How is it?

We have an audience. - Yosef,
would you mind, please.

What's your name? - Ruti.
- Ruti, that's a lovely name.

Ruti, I dream about you
every morning.

Yes, I can imagine
what you dream.

Ruti? - Yes? - How much do I
get for attacking an officer

while engaged in her duties?
- 4 years.

Yes, but if she complies,
you get probation?

You know you've got
a lovely smile.

It's well known. - Yes, smile!

Please will you get in your
cell at once.

Please, sir, get in.

Good people! Let me
stay here!

Police! I want to stay here!

You've gone out of your mind.
What's going on? - I'm in love.

I saw. With a traffic cop.

What have you done to me?
- I told you, didn't I?

For a few lousy tickets,
I didn't need this.

Did you hear the girl at the
cash register screaming?

What happened?
- Nothing happened.

Who knows what they want.
- Authority! What did we do?

Only 40 tickets once. Is that
a crime, I ask you?

Why a pistol? - Is that a
pistol? It's a water pistol.

OK, it's a toy but she doesn't
know that. She could get

a stroke in the heart and die.
- Poor thing. What can I do?

We'll see how you'll get out of
this one Leon. We'll see.

What, you mean we're
not in this together?

I told you? I told you?

All you playboys. Out!
One, two, out in the yard.

And us? - How's that?
- And us!

One, two, identity parade.

The attempted theft was only
an hour ago, I'm sure you'll

be able to identify your
assailant. - I'm sure I will.

They came with a pistol,
- 40 tickets. Where's the cops?

We're here lady.
We're the police.

Look at all these men and find
the one who attacked you.

Point him out, like this.

That's the man!
Just to show you.

That's him! Really, are you
making fun of us?

He's been here with me all
day. - Right, thank you lady.

We've finished for today and
appreciate your efforts

in coming to help us.
That's it.

Well done, Sir.
- You're alright?

Aren't you ashamed of
threatening her and

pimping tickets then?

Did you see how he saved
my life? - I told you?

If you ever need anything

Frederick, Mussa, and Leon
are at your service.

Don't forget Buddy.

Well done, my friend.
Well done.

I love you. That's enough.
Yossi!

Illegal use of electricity. Show
up at 8:00 in the morning.

Are you crazy?
- 8:00 in the morning?

If not, we'll hand you over
to criminal offences.

Criminal offences!

You don't say? He took me
to the same place.

He drives me crazy. What
on earth came over

the guy? Really.

Excuse me. - I'm taking on
the phone. What a nag!

OK Honey, I have to go.

Someone's on about
something here. Bye!

Excuse me. Can I speak to
Superintendent Steiner?

If he's not busy.

Mr. Arbinka? - Yes
Mr. Steiner, Superintendent.

A very good comb.

Almost new. A bit dear.
- A sense of humor.

And now, theft of electricity.
- I took it from his meter

and connected it to mine.
- You have a good lawyer?

So so, why? - You'll need him.

Excuse me. - Yes Fuchs?
- Your legal advisor is

waiting to confer with you.
- Damnation.

Never mind. I can come
back another time.

You will sit down and I shall
return very soon.

By the way, have you ever
been inside? - No, why?

Stay inside.

Very funny.

There is a God.

Where's Steiner?
- With his legal advisor.

What for? - Conference
I think, or something.

Fuchs is there too. - Tell
Steiner I was looking for him

about the bi-annual budget.
I'm in my office.

Zigler?

Telephone! Telephone!

Telephone, no kidding.

Lady, there's a phone in
There, ringing all the time.

Fine. I'm with Goldberg.

Hallo. Yes this is Complaints.

No, Mr. Steiner's not here.
He's with the legal advisor,

I believe. But you can speak
with Mr. Fuchs.

Oh, no. Mr. Fuchs is
with him too.

Zigler? No, He's busy
now, working on the

bi-annual budget.
What do you say?

I haven't seen Goldberg,
but I think,

he's in his room just now.

What? What do you say?
Do I know Goldberg?

You're just a child. That's
what there is today.

The committee report.
- I'm on the phone, really.

What? No my secretary
is always disturbing me.

No, she can't hear.
We can talk.

But you say the old man
wants to speak to Goldberg.

Something serious is cooking
over there. I see.

How do you mean: Who would
dare? You know what?

I'm prepared to go and tell
Goldberg, myself,

that the old man wants to talk
to him. What's the problem?

If I'm needed,
I'm with Goldberg.

Goldberg. The old man wants
to see you. - Right away.

I'm busy. - Goldberg, you don't
want to start with the old man

again? You know him.

You're right, I've got enough
problems with him already.

Do me a favor. Send the
report to the filing room.

Right, I'll send it off
with my boy.

Boy, take this, at once
to be filed.

Do as you're asked,
without arguing.

No questions, for Pete's sake.
- But he's not. - Just go!

No discipline here with
the messenger boys.

Are you telling me?

Hallo? Buffet?
This is Arbinka.

I want a glass of tea, a cake
and some cigarettes.

To the complaints department.
Of course I'm paying for it.

Arbinka. Thank you. - Where
the hell is that report?

Morning, Zigler. I just sent it
to be filed, with the boy.

What do you mean, to be
filed? I need it.

By my life. Hallo?
Filing room?

Has the boy brought the
report yet? He's there?

Good. Send him back
with it now.

I've only got two hands Zigler.
I can't go on like this.

Goldberg? What's going on?
- I went to see the old man.

For you, it's still, Mr. Weinret
if you don't mind.

Mr. Weinret. - Yes. - He asks
that someone look

at the internal memorandum.
Zigler, are you free?

I only got back yesterday...

Gentlemen! Please!
Not in my room.

If there is any difficulty,
don't hesitate to

apply to me through
the usual channels.

Good. Put that there, that
there, and that here.

They said to return it.
- Good, here's the report.

Zigler, take it and bring it
back by tomorrow morning.

You may leave.
You know what Morris?

Come here, take Goldberg's
note and read it through.

I want your opinion of it
in 48 hours.

Me? - Yes, you. Everybody
is a prima donna round here.

Who's that? - Don't know.

Thank you. - That's alright,
Goldberg.

Hallo? Complaints. Yes.
Mr. Weinret, I hear you.

Yes, the file concerning theft
of current is here before me.

All in order, Mr. Weinret.
Everything's under control.

You don't need to worry.
- Who is that?

Don't know. I seem to know
him, but from where?

His name is Arbinka.
- Why? - I don't know.

He came in this morning and
went straight into Steiner.

I knew it. He's from the inner
committee. - Obviously.

Listen to the way he's
talking to the old man.

Yes well. That's Goldberg,
what can I do.

That's what we have to deal
with. Is Zigler any better?

I've sacked Steiner.
What shall I do?

D'you hear? - We'll round up
the workers'committee.

It's absurd, this complaint.
What's that?

You know what? I'll bring
the file over now.

Gentlemen, this is an office
and not a lounge. Please.

Alright. - Say, why didn't you
come to the bar mitzvah?

It was an internal decision
of the workers'committee.

I'm sick of you all, gentlemen.
Fuchs, glad you came. - Me?

Prepare my car, please,
for one o'clock.

I'm with the old man. - Sir,
Mr. Weinret doesn't need

to be told everything,
you understand?

Do I understand? Did I
start work here today?

I've had a day today.
I can tell you.

Be so kind as to sign here
please, Mr. Weinret.

I've cancelled this report.
It's absurd. Read it.

I don't have time now.
You're from... - Yes.

It's strange, I don't.
- I just met Goldberg

in the corridor and I had
a discussion with him.

I said to him: You know me,
I told him straight

to his face, " Listen Goldberg,
that workers'committee

of yours is... " -Exactly, you
have no idea what they did

to me yesterday in the board
meeting. You must hear. - Yes.

Arbinka. - That's it.
Please sit down. -Yes.

D'you know what they did
to me yesterday? - What?

It makes your hair stand on
end. - What do you say?

I don't understand how
he could do that.

I've been working here for 9
years and haven't managed

to get accepted by the old
man, Mr. Weinret. - Sure.

So what about Mrs. Weinret?
- 'Course not! You mean it?

What do you think?
Sweetie, Sweetie...

Quiet everybody. I can't do
my work. Where's the door?

207. - I've only got 180.

What can I do? That's my
way of looking at things.

You've certainly got a very
quick grasp of things.

I'm not used to that. Good
work. - One more thing.

Please. - A moment. Steiner,

another mistake like that and
it's the end. You can bring

all your workers'committees
d'you get me?

Now get back to work. You
hear me? - And if there are

any questions, then see my
aide, Morris. - That's all.

Another one? - All ready and
waiting. - Forward.

I've needed a guy like you a
long time. Where were you?

I don't like to be obvious.
- Yes, but you've got all my

people like that.
- You have to.

I've been watching you
for a long time.

You know, you've got it.

And, you aren't sold on the...
- Workers'committee. - Yes.

Sir, you were driving through
a red light. - Me?

I'm not prepared to argue.
Your papers please.

How's business? - Not bad,
We caught a thief today.

What are you doing this
evening? - Working.

So I won't see you?
- Only if you break into the

National Lottery building.
- Be pleased to.

Sir, I'm not going to fine
you this time,

but next time. Off you go.

I have some influence in
certain police circles.

Arbinka, you must come and
visit us one evening.

Be pleased to, but when?
- Any day you're free.

Free? Tomorrow I've got
a bar mitzvah,

The day after, the foreign
office. Friday a dinner.

Next week is totally full.

My wife is an excellent cook.
- Is she?

So this evening?

Thank you.

What a delightful apartment.
- Nothing special.

We couldn't renovate
because of the bar mitzvah.

My husband had to take
another position.

More efficient. - Yes, today
we all have a few jobs.

Really? What do you do?
- Movies.

Are you an actor? - No.
Behind scene effects.

I've heard of that. We don't
have any secrets round here.

Specially not with that lot.
- The workers'committee.

Exactly, but please, let's not
talk about that here.

Why not? - As long as he
is still sitting there,

Goldberg. - Yes, as long as
he's there, there's no chance

for cooperation with the
workers'committee.

Only last week I said to them,
"you're a committee? Is that

"what you think? You're just a
group of risk takers. You

"should be the executive arm
of the workers'voice, and

"what do I get from you,
gentleman? Nothing.

"You don't know what
you're doing,

"and they call themselves
a workers'committee.

"You can't trust them or
rely on them.

"You can't cooperate with
those people.

"Who are they to treat me like
that? A man who has won the

"confidence of the leaders of
this city. It is shameful. "

Please, bring me a cigar,
my love.

Helena! Bring me my cigar!

I'm sorry. - Yes.

So where was I?

Risk takers. - That snake.
- Goldberg.

He dared to say to me
"Weinret, you're my boss,

but you're still not
omnipotent in this building. "

You can imagine what
I said to him.

I said "your committee
is like spaghetti for me.

"And I don't care if you tell all
the board members.

"They're all terrorists and
not real committee members.

"Do you know what a real
committee is?

"Do you know what a
genuine committee is?

"A committee is first of all
for the workers,

"And only after that is it a
representative of interests.

"Jewish National Fund"
Birenbaum Forest"

What's up. Mr Weinret?
We must be going.

Already? - We have a very
important meeting.

The last bus goes -There's
more than an hour till then.

It's the bus to Petah Tikvah,
and it's an important meeting.

Thank you. It's business you
know. - Movies? - Yes.

Wait. I'll take you to the bus
station. - No thanks.

It's the least I can do.
- Very kind of you but...

"To Petah Tikvah"

We're here.
All out, gentlemen.

I'm so sorry but you've
missed the last bus.

Never mind, Mr. Weinret.
- No, I'll take you there.

I won't allow you to be late
because of me.

Get in. I'm taking you to
Petah Tikvah.

It's to do with filming...

Beilinson Hospital.

Petah Tikvah. - Yes.
- Where to now?

Yosef, please. - What?
- Mr. Weinret asks where

we're going, so tell him.

Over there. The hotel.
- Yes. - Thank the Lord.

"Hotel Savoy"

Good night.
- Good night.

What do you want?

Driving makes me tired.
Could I have a black coffee?

Certainly. Why not?
One black coffee.

Hey! What do you want?
- We've got a meeting here.

It's about filming. - Yes, yes.
- With whom? - With...

Yossi, you say with whom.
- Hershkovitz. - Who?

Mr Hershkovitz I said.

Mr. Hershkovitz. Room 12.

I'm sorry. I didn't know
you were asleep.

Leave him alone. - People are
waiting for you down here.

Fine. He's coming down.
- That makes me very happy.

Getting me up in the middle of
the night. I asked them not to.

There's no one to talk to.

The middle of the night
Mr. Weinret. It's not ready.

It's not for me. It's filming.

Here too. What d'you want?
- Yosef, he asked. Tell him.

We want. - A short movie.
- Very. - About what?

The Lottery. - Robbers.
- Robbing the Lottery?

Yes, robbing the National
Lottery. Is that bad?

Some time that'll be
robbed too.

Why should they always rob
other places?

Yosef, you got the meaning?

We will film how the
Lottery is robbed.

- 50,000 lira.
Yosef, Yosef. Action.

Yes. Action...

You know, a great idea.
- But now, at midnight?

We're filming tonight, man.
- Tonight? - Right now!

Where do we find a crew?
- Child's play.

Weinret. We're going soon.

Hallo? Coffee? - Black.
- Gimme the underworld.

I want Mussa, Leon and
Frederick.

Beilinson. - I know.

"National Lottery. "

Lower. - Lower.

More. - More. - More.

Mr. Cop, Sir, excuse me.
You're in the way.

He should move.
Tell 'im to move. - Move.

Pardon me, what film are
they making here?

"Robbery of the National
Lottery" -Never heard of it.

Do you have a license?
- We don't need a license.

Don't need? - OK. You'll get
tickets for the premier.

You can leave the car on the
sidewalk. - Thank you.

Everyone out please.
- He's our driver. You stay.

Everyone out please.

Carry on. Robbers, carry on
with the robbery.

"Robbers - 1"

What's all this? Police!

Quiet! Let us sleep. Damn the
movies. - Are they filming?

Israeli movie industry. And
I have to carry it all myself.

Shut up already.

I've appeared as an actor.
Give me chance, will you?

I'm only temporary here.
I hope.

Is it possible to talk to the
director? - Can I come in?

Everyone be quiet.
You're disturbing us here.

I sing in a choir, maybe you
can arrange something?

There's no lighting, no script,
no planning, nothing.

They want to make movies!
- Guys, let's not waste time.

We must finish by morning
or we've had it as

the workers are coming in.
Mr. Weinret, be so kind as to

Bring Mr. Yosef's case please.
Thank you so much.

The underworld. There's
- 50,000 lira here.

I can't direct the whole
project by myself.

Perhaps one of the
actors could help me.

Leave the light alone. It's
OK. He'll kill me, that one.

What, doesn't he know?
What? - He's not a partner?

He's working very well. OK
the underworld. Open up!

Who me? - Yes, you.

It won't open. - Why?

It needs a key -Screwball.

I'm a ticket pimp
not a cashier.

Get out of it. Can I have the
key? - There isn't one.

So, we'll have to do it by hand.
Go and get all the tools.

We're doing it by hand.
- Here's Mr. Yossi's case.

What's that for?
- To put the money in.

And then? - What "then"?
Afterwards Buddy,

"Lottery's good & it's healthy,
I was poor, now I'm wealthy".

'S long as the cops don't know
now I'm with them. - It's OK.

Don't worry about the cops.
It's my money my friend.

It's yours?
- We're in it together.

Hallo Police? Robbery!
Disguised as a movie.

No, no. Not a cinema.
They're filming a robbery.

I see. A robbery.
What is your name Sir?

Weinret, with a W.
Not with a V.

Then E. Then I. Not I. E.

Yes, I've got it. What do you
want? - To report a robbery.

Robbery? What's your name please?
Veinret? With a V?

With a W. Like Wobbly.

The Lord preserve us.

Who does the black Sussita
belong to outside?

Why do I have to take a car
away from here every day?

Your vehicle is blocking the
passage of passers by.

Why are you looking at me
like that? Y'understand me?

If you don't move that
vehicle at once,

we'll have to tow it away.
What are you doing here?

Are you filming?
Making a movie?

Filming? Never mind.
Carry on.

Get on with it!
- You mean get on with it?

Let's continue the take of
breaking into the safe.

Sorry, I didn't know that you
were one of the artists.

That's OK. - Tell me, what's
the movie about? That's to

say, if it's not a secret.
- It's a short, about a young

man, who never ever won
the lottery. - Yes?

One night he goes and
- steals the big prize?

How did I know? I just saw the
watchman standing there,

and I knew it was a robbery.
- Guys, don't move the

equipment around.
- Can we start the cameras?

How can we start filming
in a mess like this?

Right, let's move.
- A lot of layabouts.

By the way, all my men
are at your service.

If necessary, I too,
personally, will be

ready to participate.
- Thank you very much.

Why are you standing there?
Organize things by the gate.

Get on with it, Rachamim.

Spread out. Spread out.

No entry. They're filming

Guys, we found a good spot.
They're filming a robbery.

Good. Over. It's fun there.
They're filming a robbery

I see. Over.

They're robbing the safe of
the National Lottery.

They get some ideas, like
making a film about

robbing the National Lottery.
The Lottery? Give me...

How does he look? The guy
who's making the movie?

You know, the director?
Young? Big nose? Over.

Is this the film? Shush, they're
filming. Quiet.

Quiet, they're filming.

As you see I'm also
good with pictures

Mainly on Shabbat. Take 'em,
stick 'em in the bath,

Nice. - I snap 'em -Very nice.
Really ugly children.

That's nothing.
You should see 'em in the flesh.

Please tell me if
I'm disturbing you.

Very much. - Thank you.
And why do I ask?

Because I'm sensitive about
disturbing people. Tell me

now, what will happen in the
story-line?

Now someone jumps and
yells, " Cops, it's not a movie.

"It's a real robbery. Help!"
Or something like that.

Hang on. That means
someone can come and say

"Listen everyone, I'm
making a movie" -Yes.

And meanwhile he's robbing
the cash? Not a bad idea.

In real life, it's harder
as there are cops.

Sir. - Yes.

You can stop rehearsing.
I'm ready.

Fine. Yossi. Cameras.
Action.

Cops! It's not a movie.
It's a real robbery.

Nice. - Cut!
- But, excuse me

for saying so, but the acting
isn't very convincing.

You see what I mean? You
can see it's only acting.

You're right. Guys, that was
very amateurish

I beg you. - Forgive me
for mixing in.

No, you're quite right.
Everyone. Once more.

Action!

"Police! It's a robbery!"

It's not a movie.
It's a real robbery.

Cut!

So? What d'you say?
Do it again?

I'll tell you. - What?

It can never be really natural.

But for an Israeli movie,
it's not bad.

Do you know that you're
insulting? I'm sorry.

Quiet. I want the
safe breaking again.

"Robbers - 2"

Action!

What's up? - Please.
Those are my actors.

They don't know how to break
into a safe. It's a trade.

Could I have minute?
Rachamim get a crowbar

and a hammer and show them
how. Make it authentic.

Two of you after me.
Excuse me.

Into the hinges.

Now you'll see real work.

Direct it towards the hinges.
Nice. That's it.

Harder. Harder.

Actually, you're right. They
won't have open by tomorrow.

You see the little guy? Maybe
he can open it. Rachamim!

Right. Another tactic?
Charge with the crowbar

into the center of the lock.
Together.

Watch out
for Rachamim's finger.

It's steel.

Mr. Director of the Lottery?
So hear me out Sir.

I don't care if you're making
advertising movies.

But don't do it in the middle of
the night under my window!

Lady, we'll make ads and
movies as much as we want,

even at night and even under
your window. Good night.

Advertisement? For what?

Are we together?

Yes W. Like Wine but not
Vine.

I got it. Now we'll do
Ginger Ali's system

To your stations. Crane
movement, one and two.

Ready, from your stations.

Now, together.

Fine. Lower.

Once more. Enough.
Open up.

Hey, it's real money.
- Yes. Action.

I told you. I told you.

Razor blades, shaving soap,
tooth paste.

Shoe polish, toilet paper.

Where did you get so much
money from? - The safe.

What's all this?
What's going on here?

Quiet. They're filming here.
Who are you?

Director of the Lottery. How
did you open the safe?

With a crowbar
and a chisel.

I didn't like the look of them
from the first moment.

Rachamim, why did you let
them go. Quick. After them.

They went that way. So we'll
go this way.

Move, Buddy. Move.

And now they've
pinched my car.

What's the name of the car?
- Sussita, S. Like...

Mr. Arbinka, are you serious
about taking that money?

Take it back, Yosef. It's my
money, don't you know?

I know. They don't know.

Well done cops. Well done.

Are you out of your minds?
- Yes. - You, don't mix in.

Did you break into the safe?
- Not us, the cops.

With a crowbar. Green!

Wait! Wait!

Arbinka, I have to arrest you.
- Can't hear you.

I have to stop you.
- Sorry, no stopping here.

I finally get a boyfriend and
he's childish.

Stop crying already.

Arbinka. You can't be a baby,
all your life.

Grow up already, for God's sake.
- I'm trying.

But it doesn't work.
- I had plans for you.

I can't hear you. - And I dream
about you every morning.

Stop crying.
- I love you, Arbinka.

Do you? Then about turn.

Well done! - Leave me
alone already.

Well done. Good job.

Sir, Tell them I didn't know
anything about it. Tell them.

Hershkovitz. Be a man,
Hershkovitz.

Such a pity.

"The National Lottery gets
- 50,000 lira from Mr. Arbinka. "

"Arbinka"

Subtitles:
Elrom Studios.

Translation:
Simcha Arnold