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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,424 ["CITY ON FIRE" PLAYING] 3 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:11,344 ♪ Set the city on fire, light it up ♪ 4 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,389 [TIFF] You guys ready? Wait up, wait up! You guys ready? 5 00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:16,850 And... go! 6 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:19,144 ♪ I can't get over how you make me feel ♪ 7 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,480 ♪ Am I dreaming or is this real? ♪ 8 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:23,940 Zoey, come here. 9 00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:25,483 Good girl. 10 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,027 Oh, baby, she's gonna have to go. 11 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,029 [ZOEY GRUMBLING] 12 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:30,572 - She... - [LAUGHS] 13 00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:31,948 She is sand. 14 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,743 - "Have a puppy," they said. - "It'll be fun," they said. 15 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,661 [TIFF] Well, that's our youngest child. 16 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,247 I think that we should definitely have alone dates. 17 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,082 Sometimes. 18 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,752 Welcome to parent life with the fur babies. 19 00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:46,254 I mean, I don't think a human baby would do this, 20 00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:49,340 but, like, I don't ever want to have babies again. 21 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,301 [TIFF] Just, like, so much energy. 22 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,304 I feel that tired parent vibe going on right now. 23 00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,014 Babe, this is a lot of work. 24 00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:57,557 Have you thought about... 25 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,732 Okay, I get it. Shylo and, like, Zoey 26 00:00:59,733 --> 00:01:01,932 sometimes annoys the fuck out of us. 27 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,605 But, like, my son's already 16. 28 00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:07,233 He's, like, a teenager, and he'll be annoying in the sense of, 29 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,904 like, he might get an attitude 'cause he's a teenager, you know? 30 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:13,531 He's never ever been disrespectful towards me. 31 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,450 - No, he's not disrespectful... - Yeah. 32 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,077 Hope he's not, but, like... 33 00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:19,996 Say we're at the beach, and he's just having a really bad day. 34 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,499 And we're having a bad day with them, and then... 35 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:25,668 It's an addition to our stress, is what I'm trying to say. 36 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,295 What's that gonna look like for us? 37 00:01:27,378 --> 00:01:30,715 I think sometimes he wants your attention when I'm over, 38 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,051 and so he'll come to the door a lot. 39 00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:36,387 You'll be like, "Hi. Can I help you?" And he just sits there. 40 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:41,184 The amount of patience you have towards him is so admirable. 41 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:44,854 I see how much you love him, just by the way you talk to him. 42 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,232 And how gentle you are with him. 43 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,817 And I know sometimes 44 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,125 he can't really absorb something 45 00:01:51,126 --> 00:01:52,946 that might seem pretty obvious to people, 46 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:56,783 but then you really take your time to break it down 47 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,619 and just kinda, like, let him come to his own answer. 48 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,540 You don't tell him how to be a kid. 49 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:07,961 You tell him how to responsibly make his own choices, 50 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,796 to how he wants to live his life. 51 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,134 Mildred's child, he's special needs. 52 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:18,429 If I'm going to marry Mildred, her son may have to live with us, 53 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,807 um, even into his adulthood. 54 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:24,269 My son, he's gonna be an adult soon, and, you know, it's a lot. 55 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:28,356 [TIFF] If we do get married and do have a family together, 56 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:29,816 I see adventure. 57 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:32,620 I see being able to experience 58 00:02:32,621 --> 00:02:34,362 a lot of different things in life, you know? 59 00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,073 That's what I wanna see, I'm sure Josh'd want to be part of. 60 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,283 [MILDRED] Yeah, definitely. 61 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,785 I think that just, like, having... 62 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,329 [CHUCKLES] I think that just having this, um... 63 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,416 - Oh God. Fuck, okay. - [MILDRED] Zoe. 64 00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,293 Still want to move in? 65 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:49,419 [LAUGHS] 66 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,003 Oh my God. 67 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,172 Gimme a kiss, babe. 68 00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:56,634 I love you. 69 00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,763 ["WE ARE GOLDEN" PLAYING] 70 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:05,643 ♪ We are golden ♪ 71 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,729 ♪ Yes, we are ♪ 72 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:11,649 ♪ Hear the thunder, see the stars ♪ 73 00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:13,483 [FRIEND] Cheers for a... 74 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,778 - [SAM] Yes! Oh my gosh. - [AUSSIE] Oh my gosh. 75 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,489 - Reunited, I guess. I don't know. - Reunited. 76 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:20,950 - Hey. Oh my God. - Oh my... 77 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,244 - Thank you. - [LAUGHTER] 78 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:26,623 - How was your experience? - [SAM] Yeah. I know how to speak up now. 79 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:32,295 And I'm always there to just enable, at the end of the day. 80 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:34,964 - Aussie needs to handle this on her own. - Stand up for me. 81 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:38,801 Yeah. Stand her ground and, like, actually put forth what you learned. 82 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:39,885 - Yes. - Yes. 83 00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:43,640 Even before coming to the experience, Aussie doesn't communicate. 84 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,726 Aussie is thinking in Aussie's head. 85 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:50,104 When I get tired or even stressed, I'm a little short. 86 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,105 Okay. 87 00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:53,066 [SAM] When that's happening, you don't listen. 88 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:56,069 You're so in your head, you don't actually know what's happening. 89 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,823 You have bad energy. Like, you have bad energy. 90 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,743 - I don't have bad energy. I'm just... - You don't think you do. 91 00:04:03,826 --> 00:04:05,328 Yeah, but the thing is, I don't. 92 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,039 - You keep trying to defend yourself. - Anyway, well... 93 00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:10,583 But there's no need for that 'cause I'm talking. 94 00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:14,629 New version of Sam. This is the new Sam. 95 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:20,468 I feel that you think that it's all about my improvement. 96 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:23,304 You do understand I have things to work on too, right? 97 00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,723 I haven't seen it from you, that you're different. 98 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,600 - [SAM] Really? - You haven't seen the new Sam? 99 00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:28,684 The new Sam. 100 00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,980 You're trying to tell me I'm not showing up different? 101 00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:34,107 - [AUSSIE] No. - You haven't seen any changes in me? 102 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,400 - I'm saying... - That's offensive. 103 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:39,946 I haven't seen this new Sam give me the benefit of the doubt, 104 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,322 see my side of the story. 105 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,111 You keep saying "new Sam." So are you saying 106 00:04:43,112 --> 00:04:45,243 the new Sam doesn't listen to you? 107 00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:49,163 I'm saying the new Sam may be overcompensating for her needs 108 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,623 which were not met prior, 109 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,959 and now you don't even see my side. 110 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:55,378 - I don't know what you're asking. - I liked how she's... 111 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,963 I just want you to see my side. 112 00:04:57,046 --> 00:04:58,640 [SAM] Can you just entertain the idea 113 00:04:58,641 --> 00:05:00,591 that the reason you don't like how I act now 114 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:03,261 is because I'm not giving in to all your needs every time? 115 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,929 No, that's not it. That's bullshit. 116 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,141 - And I'm paying attention to my needs? - I'm sorry. That's bullshit. 117 00:05:08,766 --> 00:05:10,351 [AUSSIE] No, that's bullshit. 118 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,146 I think about you all the time. I put you first. 119 00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:16,733 But you're calling her actual feelings bullshit? 120 00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,819 How would you feel if she said that about your feelings? 121 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,612 - She's saying that practically. - I don't. 122 00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:24,574 - But she literally did not. - [SAM] I've never said that. Ever. 123 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,869 But you just... You literally just said those words. 124 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:30,496 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] 125 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,505 I've shut down. I'm sorry. 126 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,806 So this has been our main roadblock. 127 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:56,898 This "new version of me" is literally just like, 128 00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,859 "I'm not gonna keep enabling you anymore." 129 00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,830 I'm going to actually speak up now, 130 00:06:02,831 --> 00:06:05,740 and that is what Aussie doesn't like. 131 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:11,746 I'm cool to stay here. 132 00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,664 - You can see if Aussie's okay? - Yeah. 133 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,126 Oh my God. 134 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,046 [TENSE MUSIC FADES OUT] 135 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,390 - How are you doing? - [AUSSIE] Not good. 136 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,979 Maybe I'm not good enough for her, you know? 137 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,524 I'm not there yet. I'm trying. 138 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,443 - What makes you think that you... - But I... I'm trying. 139 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:46,197 But the thing is, I'm trying, and I cannot have my partner dismiss 140 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,740 how I feel too. 141 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:50,284 - Dismiss my side of the story too. - Mm-hmm. 142 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:52,120 I'm not where she's at, so, like... 143 00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:57,083 What about my version? Which was like, "I didn't mean to make you mad." 144 00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,101 "I didn't mean to make you feel like 145 00:06:59,102 --> 00:07:01,337 I was being rude to you. I'm sorry." 146 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,382 [FRUSTRATED SIGH] 147 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:08,469 "There's two fucking people here. You're not always fucking right." 148 00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:13,349 "Can you please be open-minded enough that I am telling you the truth?" 149 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,059 "My truth too." 150 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:18,438 "I'm accepting your truth. Why can't you accept my truth?" 151 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:25,278 You know where it takes me back to, is my fucking childhood. 152 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:26,362 Mm-hmm. 153 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,272 When I would be blamed for everything, 154 00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:31,951 and it was not even my fucking fault. 155 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,121 [SOBBING] 156 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,005 I didn't do shit. 157 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:48,134 I fucking didn't do shit! I fucking didn't do shit! 158 00:07:48,217 --> 00:07:50,678 - [SHOUTS] I fucking didn't do it! - Come here. 159 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:55,433 - I fucking didn't do it! I didn't do it. - Come here. 160 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:59,103 [AUSSIE SOBBING] I'm just trying to be good enough. 161 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:02,106 ["HEARTACHE" BY JOE TAYLOR PLAYING] 162 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,779 ♪ At the end of it all ♪ 163 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,491 ♪ It's just heartache ♪ 164 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,409 [AUSSIE] I'm trying so hard. 165 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,204 I'm trying to be the... 166 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:21,292 perfect... girlfriend, 167 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,879 perfect lover, perfect kid, 168 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:29,342 perfect daughter, perfect co-worker, 169 00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,468 perfect... 170 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:35,973 everything. 171 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,560 I'm still not good enough. 172 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,188 ♪ Now I build my walls ♪ 173 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:46,359 ♪ Bury the pain ♪ 174 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,737 I thought she'd come in. 175 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,031 - Maybe she needs fresh air. - I thought she would too. 176 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,616 Thank you. 177 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,660 [AUSSIE BREATHING DEEPLY] 178 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,119 Sorry... [SIGHS] 179 00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:02,542 ♪ At the end of it all ♪ 180 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:06,587 ♪ It's just heartache ♪ 181 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,965 ♪ Tried everything ♪ 182 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,342 ♪ For you to stay ♪ 183 00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:15,304 ♪ But it was too late ♪ 184 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,182 [DOGS BARKING] 185 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,308 [SONG TRAILS OFF] 186 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,353 Sometimes it's hard to have conversations with you, 187 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,230 because I know how they're gonna turn out. 188 00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:26,983 More so in terms of just you listening to me, 189 00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,735 and it doesn't become, like, this fucking hot topic. 190 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:30,903 I've already said this. 191 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,531 You're very strong-willed. You're very opinionated. 192 00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:37,451 And sometimes... I feel like I'm on the defense, 193 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:40,037 when I'm trying to tell you how I'm feeling. 194 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:42,206 We don't have to feel the same way. 195 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,709 We can agree to disagree, but listen and be like, 196 00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:47,920 "Okay, well, that's not how I feel. This is how I feel." 197 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:51,132 And not, like, making me feel like I'm wrong or, like, dumb. 198 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:56,178 I think sometimes I can't get out of my own head when we're in it. 199 00:09:56,262 --> 00:10:00,349 One-upping one another and making you question something. 200 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,601 I don't want that. 201 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:02,810 I was in mock trial. 202 00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:05,151 I picked a lane and I argued for it 203 00:10:05,152 --> 00:10:07,273 and in favor of it and consistently. 204 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:09,232 Nonstop. 205 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,360 - So... - Sounds about right. 206 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:15,323 This is something I like about you, when it's not, um... [CHUCKLES] 207 00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:18,409 ... geared toward this lil... lil gal. 208 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,288 In terms of, like, marriage, 209 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:23,706 I don't want the games. 210 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:27,668 I'm not in... I'm not... I'm not single. I don't want to be single. 211 00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:30,880 I don't wanna feel like I'm single, like I'm dating around, 212 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,601 and like somebody has a freaking area code 213 00:10:33,602 --> 00:10:35,509 in their phone number for somebody else. 214 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:36,510 I don't want that. 215 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,929 - [LAUGHS] - I don't want that version of the game. 216 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:42,391 I don't think we really, like, do that. 217 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,436 - We don't. - I don't think it's healthy to do that. 218 00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:51,233 Like, I think we know of a couple that does do a lot of petty gaminess. 219 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,027 Like, "How can I one-up this person?" 220 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:57,531 "How can I make this person, like, want me," or, like, whatever. 221 00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,700 If you're in a marriage, I don't know if that's, like... 222 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:03,621 I would rather us make each other want us in purposeful ways. 223 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:07,958 Like, I'd rather, our version of, like, a "game," if you will, 224 00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:09,870 is you coming home from work 225 00:11:09,871 --> 00:11:11,879 and me wearing something sexy, cooking dinner. 226 00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:13,756 If that's a game to us. 227 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:15,883 That'll be my game. 228 00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:17,967 Okay. 229 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,012 - Yeah? - Mm-hmm. 230 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,640 - [BOTH LAUGHING] - ["SHOW ME LOVE" BY CUT ONE PLAYS] 231 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:27,019 ♪ You gotta show me, show me love ♪ 232 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,898 ♪ Show me, show me love ♪ 233 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,775 [SONG TRAILS OFF] 234 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,153 Um, what happened today... 235 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:38,698 [BREATHES HEAVILY] 236 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:41,992 ... was realization that how I'm feeling in that moment, 237 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:44,745 which is so much anger and so much pain... 238 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,997 I said, "This feels like when I was a kid." 239 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,668 [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING] 240 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,555 [AUSSIE SNIFFLES] 241 00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:05,266 I didn't know it was there. 242 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,560 - Like, I had no idea. - I know. I know. 243 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,021 But that's what I feel every time we fight, like... 244 00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:14,108 But you know that I'm there for you, right? 245 00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,401 - Yes, I know. - Yeah. 246 00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:18,487 - You have so much support and love. - [AUSSIE] I know. 247 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,907 - And you don't even see all of it. - I don't even see it. [CHUCKLES, SNIFFS] 248 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:25,661 You're going through a lot of, like, really heavy stuff. 249 00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:26,662 Absolutely. 250 00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:30,750 - [SAM] For me, marriage is about growth. - [AUSSIE] Me too. 251 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,941 I think that it wouldn't make any sense 252 00:12:32,942 --> 00:12:36,213 to hold unrealistic expectations of 253 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,382 "We're gonna come into this experience, 254 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,634 and we're gonna be fully healed at the end." 255 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,304 But we need to communicate better. 256 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,848 I mean, I want to get there. 257 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,225 I love you. 258 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,854 Okay? I just don't feel safe with you just yet, okay? 259 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,939 [SOMBER MUSIC CONTINUING] 260 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,572 Why do I feel some sort of a... ? 261 00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:07,655 Because that... that is something that is not easy for anybody to hear. 262 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:14,919 A lot of things that you do come off as selfish. 263 00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,002 [AUSSIE] Mmm... 264 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,046 Right. [SNIFFS] 265 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,129 Right. 266 00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:21,716 Yeah. 267 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,015 A lot of times, I literally feel like I'm bending backwards 268 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,059 to help create a safe space for you. 269 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,189 - That freaking sucks. - Mm-hmm. 270 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:38,192 So... moving forward, like, 271 00:13:38,275 --> 00:13:41,153 how do you see that situation changing, though? 272 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:42,737 [AUSSIE] Mm-mmm. 273 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:50,079 I feel like that's not, like, a hard thing to answer. 274 00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:51,705 Like, it's obvious. 275 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,289 Yeah. 276 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,460 Do you see how... Do you hear it right now? 277 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,295 - How you're raising... - I feel annoyed. 278 00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:59,379 - Yeah, why? - Yeah. 279 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:02,633 - Why are you feeling annoyed? - Why are you asking that dumb question? 280 00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:05,094 You're being very disrespectful to me right now. 281 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,303 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS] 282 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:08,973 You're speaking to me in a very condescending tone. 283 00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:11,433 Okay, so why did you ask me that question, then? 284 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:13,519 Why are you asking me that? 285 00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:16,647 Your whole tone just changed to being very condescending. 286 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,940 But that's why I'm asking. 287 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,901 You're raising your voice at me and calling my questions dumb. 288 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,028 Why would you ask me that? Why? 289 00:14:23,612 --> 00:14:27,074 - Can you acknowledge that you're... - Okay. I acknowledge. I'm sorry. 290 00:14:27,157 --> 00:14:29,493 This is one of these moments where you're being rude. 291 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:32,580 Okay, but I feel like you're being rude to me by asking that... 292 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,415 - I'm not being rude to you. - Sure. 293 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:35,791 I'm just saying... 294 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:37,960 [AUSSIE] Oi. 295 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,045 You're not in listening mode right now. 296 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,715 Because you're telling me that I did something wrong. 297 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:44,466 - Like, no, I didn't. - What'd I do? 298 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,778 Okay. So we're having the same issue 299 00:14:46,779 --> 00:14:48,554 where you're feeling like I'm telling you 300 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,432 you did something wrong, but I didn't say anything. 301 00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:52,516 All right. 302 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,268 I'm listening to you. 303 00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,146 Can you, like, be in a less defensive position 304 00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,690 where I feel like you're actually listening to me? 305 00:14:59,773 --> 00:15:02,736 Do you see the question you asked made me feel the way I did? 306 00:15:02,737 --> 00:15:05,195 - Do you see that too? - I didn't make you feel any way. 307 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:06,864 All right. Whatever. 308 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:10,200 - I didn't intend to make you feel any way. - Okay. You're right. I know. 309 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:11,285 I'm good. 310 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:15,998 Okay, but let's not just blankly use that "I'm good" statement, like... 311 00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,625 I don't. I... I'm good. 312 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,919 What do you want me to do, mate? 313 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,339 You're starting to act like an ass right now. 314 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,841 You started talking to me in a very rude manner. 315 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,217 And you called me "mate"? 316 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:28,302 Okay. 317 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:29,845 I don't know. 318 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:30,930 Mate. 319 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,515 Why are you calling me "mate" all of a sudden? 320 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,600 I don't know. 321 00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:37,978 Can we... Are we done? 322 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,898 [SAM] So now you're just gonna walk away? Like... 323 00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:44,693 Yeah, I'm... I don't know. I don't wanna talk about this shit anymore. 324 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,490 It's... Can I... Are we done? 325 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,078 [SAM] Are you really just walking away from me right now? 326 00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:56,538 [AUSSIE] Just... you know, you haven't done anything wrong. 327 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,790 Just let me be. 328 00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,836 I don't want to talk about this anymore. 329 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,759 You know what? I can tell you, with certainty... 330 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:09,760 [AUSSIE] Mm-hmm. 331 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,720 ... this is not what I want in a marriage. 332 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,805 Okay. 333 00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:14,515 That's fine. 334 00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:16,475 ["THE LOVE THAT WE SEEK" PLAYS] 335 00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,811 Apparently, I'm an ass right now, so let me leave. 336 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,771 Yeah, you absolutely are. 337 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,608 [ELEVATOR DINGS] 338 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:29,196 ♪ Is the road too long? ♪ 339 00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:31,281 [SORROWFUL BALLAD PLAYING] 340 00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:37,997 ♪ Do you feel like your hope is gone? ♪ 341 00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:54,722 ♪ Is the night too dark? ♪ 342 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:55,805 [AUSSIE] Sam... 343 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,352 She's been my rock, you know? 344 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:05,357 [TEARFULLY] When Sam expressed that she was hurt, 345 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,235 she was trying her best. 346 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,029 I could see that. I know her. 347 00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:14,116 I came on the experience... 348 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:19,455 for Sam and I's relationship. 349 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:28,839 And we both made a commitment to fully immerse ourselves in this. 350 00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:31,050 If she's telling you this is what she needs... 351 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,847 and you're waiting because of your insecurities and your fears? 352 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,142 Because of past... past hurts? 353 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,561 You're gonna lose that person that... 354 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,401 that means the world to you. 355 00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,572 So, I'm getting very clear on that. 356 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,701 That I... I don't want to lose the person... 357 00:17:58,911 --> 00:17:59,911 [SNIFFLES] 358 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,082 ... that I know is the one. 359 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,541 [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] 360 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:10,625 ♪ Do we have the strength to believe in it? ♪ 361 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:17,304 ♪ Where is the love that we seek? ♪ 362 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:19,681 [AUSSIE] I'm sorry. 363 00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:26,188 ♪ Where is the truth to believe in? ♪ 364 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:32,111 - ["CELEBRATE THE FEELING" PLAYING] - ♪ Be you, do you, for you ♪ 365 00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:35,030 ♪ Act like a lady ♪ 366 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,950 ♪ Think like a boss, like a boss, yeah ♪ 367 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,410 [VANESSA] Papa, Papa. 368 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,412 That's my future. I'm gonna be a handsome man. 369 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,747 - [MARK] Hey, guys! - Hi. 370 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:45,999 - Great to see you. - Good to see you. 371 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,751 - You look so good. - You look so good. 372 00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:49,128 - Oh, thanks. - Welcome. 373 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:51,004 Haven't seen you guys in a while. 374 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,509 So you guys have been living back with each other for... 375 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:56,885 - Two weeks now. - Two weeks. Yeah. 376 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,929 [XANDER] We've gone through a lot of stuff 377 00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:01,390 I feel that we have not talked about before. 378 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,686 And I don't know, like, it's hard. 379 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,104 Yeah, so... 380 00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:11,150 - Yeah. So you met Rae, my trial wife. - [MARK] Mm-hmm. Yes. 381 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:13,532 I think I finally came to the conclusion 382 00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,362 that I do want to marry someone 383 00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:17,156 and have a kid with someone 384 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,366 and raising them and having that connection. 385 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:20,826 And I do really love you. 386 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:23,412 And I do see a future with us. 387 00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:27,124 So it's been really hard that that's how I came out of my trial marriage. 388 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:31,295 - And then to be thrown into... this. - Yeah. 389 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,839 A month ago, I thought I was gonna come into this 390 00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:36,341 and be like, "Now let's figure some stuff out." 391 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:40,053 - And I have been, like, super guarded. - Guarded with me, not with Yoly. 392 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,556 Oh yeah, sorry. Yeah, I've been guarded with Vanessa. 393 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:45,767 Once we started living together, there were so many things in my head. 394 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:48,061 Like, it just felt so different. 395 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,345 I still am trying to place, 396 00:19:49,346 --> 00:19:52,543 like, what that means for us and for our future. 397 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,985 The thing is, we do love each other so much, 398 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,237 and we do care about each other so much. 399 00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,616 But then I was with my trial marriage partner, 400 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,410 and she also is, like, ready to get married 401 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:05,120 and have kids and everything. 402 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,663 [TENSE MUSIC BUILDS SLOWLY] 403 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,500 It was easy and natural, and one of the biggest things was 404 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,378 that Yoly kept asking me, "What does Xander need?" 405 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,757 And I feel like I've never been asked that before, ever. 406 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,508 Like, that's something I needed. 407 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:22,179 I'm not someone to just, like, pour my heart out right away, right? 408 00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:23,972 It did mean a lot that I was like, 409 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,059 "Okay. I feel I trust this girl enough to tell her things," 410 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:28,769 and she was telling me stuff. 411 00:20:28,852 --> 00:20:30,771 I think we learned a lot from each other. 412 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:33,317 I think I learned a lot about myself also. 413 00:20:33,318 --> 00:20:35,651 Everything's just been turned around now. 414 00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:40,364 That's a lot for you to process there. 415 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,447 - I know. - [MARK] Wow. 416 00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,826 The perspective of coming here was 417 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,079 Xander wanted to get married, and you didn't. 418 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,901 After you've been through this, 419 00:20:49,902 --> 00:20:51,833 you wanna get married. That's what you're saying. 420 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,126 Yeah. 421 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:57,214 It's undeniable that a part of that is you don't want to lose Xander. 422 00:20:57,297 --> 00:21:00,418 You'd be willing to maybe do something 423 00:21:00,419 --> 00:21:01,419 that you wouldn't have done before 424 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,637 because of that fear of loss. 425 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:04,888 - Right? - There's a part. 426 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,599 - But that's not dominant... - No, it has to be there. 427 00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,830 I'll tell you, I've been a victim of this 428 00:21:09,831 --> 00:21:12,688 where someone is pulling away from you, 429 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:15,440 and you want to win them back... 430 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,818 to win them back because you want to be chosen, right? 431 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:22,447 But I know, looking back at myself, in one particular relationship 432 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:25,200 where I thought, "Oh my God. I really love this person. I have... " 433 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,963 Afterwards, I look back, and I thought, 434 00:21:26,964 --> 00:21:29,246 "That was totally my ego kicking in." 435 00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,414 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] 436 00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:32,666 Certainly, I guess what I'm hearing is 437 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:36,044 Xander progressed more with, like, a self-analysis 438 00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:38,338 and really trying to figure out, 439 00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:40,674 "What do I want? And what's gonna make me happy?" 440 00:21:40,757 --> 00:21:42,509 - Yeah. - Um, so... 441 00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:43,927 - I disagree with that. - Okay. 442 00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,846 I feel like I did that just the same. 443 00:21:45,929 --> 00:21:48,265 Okay. Um... 444 00:21:48,348 --> 00:21:53,186 Just because I didn't... love someone and have sex with them a lot... 445 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,147 - That didn't need to happen. - Okay. 446 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,525 My heart's never broken like this. 447 00:21:58,608 --> 00:22:00,068 [DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUING] 448 00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:06,742 ♪ When it comes crashing down ♪ 449 00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:11,747 [SONG TRAILS OFF] 450 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,623 So what's going on? 451 00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:16,418 I don't know how much Mal told you about the process, 452 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,379 who I ended up doing my trial marriage with. 453 00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:21,465 At first I was like, "This is cool, cute." 454 00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:23,342 Like, we'll grow, I figured. 455 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,177 After a week with Xander, 456 00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:27,679 I was just kind of like, "Oh shit." 457 00:22:27,763 --> 00:22:29,348 What is the "oh shit" part? 458 00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:32,100 The "oh shit" was me falling in love with Xander. 459 00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:36,980 - And... feeling a connection there. - What? 460 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,148 [YOLY] Mm-hmm. 461 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,820 - [ALICIA] I'm confused. - What's confusing? 462 00:22:43,904 --> 00:22:45,739 - This is your person. - [YOLY] I came... 463 00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:48,450 This is a lot. I'm in shock. I don't know what to say. 464 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,035 I know. 465 00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:52,079 It is a lot. 466 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:54,872 How do you feel? 467 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,709 Um... 468 00:22:57,793 --> 00:22:58,835 I mean... I just... 469 00:22:58,919 --> 00:23:01,213 Such a generalized question, but, like... 470 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,049 That wasn't the plan. A little bamboozled. 471 00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:06,218 - [ALICIA] It doesn't sound real. - [MAL] Right. 472 00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:08,929 I'm sitting here with you guys, and I'm like... 473 00:23:10,305 --> 00:23:12,891 It never made me feel like I love Mal any less. 474 00:23:12,974 --> 00:23:14,893 Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no... 475 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:16,937 Yep. 476 00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,483 So... So what does that mean, Yoly? 477 00:23:21,566 --> 00:23:24,611 What does that mean for... How do you feel about Mal? 478 00:23:24,694 --> 00:23:25,904 [YOLY] I love Mal so much. 479 00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:29,699 She's a best friend. She is kin to me. She... 480 00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:31,743 The connection here is untouched. 481 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:33,995 To me, at least. Beyond. 482 00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:38,583 But, when I think about solidifying my future, I worry. 483 00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:41,503 And this person has that checked off. 484 00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:43,630 You're saying you... kinda love them both. 485 00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:47,926 How does three weeks measure up to three years? 486 00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:52,556 It's... hard for me to say. 487 00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:54,850 I didn't realize I was so terrible in three years. 488 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:56,393 [YOLY] Not saying you're terrible. 489 00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:59,104 If it was just me, if I didn't want children, no problem. 490 00:23:59,187 --> 00:24:02,065 I can deal with her messiness. I can deal with her inconsistency, 491 00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:03,817 with being annoyed, 'cause it's just me. 492 00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:08,780 But when I think about... having children, that's what's fucked me up. 493 00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,323 I... [CHUCKLING SCOFF] 494 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,244 - Are you a godmother to any children? - No. 495 00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:16,496 I... Multiple people have asked me to be their godparent. 496 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:17,580 And that's beautiful. 497 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:19,624 [MAL] Because I do show up responsible. 498 00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,401 As a person that can be a great mother. 499 00:24:21,402 --> 00:24:23,712 And they all affirm me of that often. 500 00:24:23,795 --> 00:24:26,965 So, when you tell me you're unsure of the type of parent I could be, 501 00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,049 I don't understand you. 502 00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:30,844 So, I feel like, what is it, actually? It can't be just that. 503 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:34,514 I'm 34. I don't have many viable years. 504 00:24:34,598 --> 00:24:38,310 And if this person's not ready, then let me find somebody who's ready. 505 00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:42,772 Are you also confident that 506 00:24:42,856 --> 00:24:46,651 this Xander person... is gonna give you that? 507 00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:50,697 [YOLY] In these three weeks, we had talks about what we would do, 508 00:24:50,780 --> 00:24:52,824 how we would handle it. Finances... 509 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:56,244 She is on the right kind of insurance that would cover. 510 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,496 She also has money aside 511 00:24:57,497 --> 00:25:01,082 that would cover any kind of, like, outside expenses. 512 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,168 - And she's... - You saw that account? 513 00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:06,004 You have seen her finances for this? 514 00:25:06,087 --> 00:25:08,465 You guys have talked that deeply about this? 515 00:25:09,216 --> 00:25:10,675 First time hearing this. 516 00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:15,138 Makes much more sense as to why you're so in love. 517 00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,265 'Cause I was confused, and now I'm not. 518 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,476 Finances. This changes the game. 519 00:25:19,559 --> 00:25:23,396 Mal, to be completely clear, I'm not judging you 520 00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:24,625 based on your fucking bank account. 521 00:25:24,626 --> 00:25:27,901 But, like, IVF is a very real possibility. 522 00:25:27,984 --> 00:25:29,444 Have I not shown up that way? 523 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,196 [YOLY] Are you starting to save for it? 524 00:25:31,279 --> 00:25:32,322 Yes. 525 00:25:32,405 --> 00:25:34,574 You're not doing that. You have not done that. 526 00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:38,203 Okay. Okay. 527 00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:42,624 Yo, Yoly, I'm trippin'. I'm really trippin' right now. 528 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,167 Okay. Goodbye. 529 00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:46,002 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 530 00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:47,837 [YOLY GRUNTS SOFTLY] 531 00:25:51,132 --> 00:25:52,217 No... 532 00:25:53,009 --> 00:25:55,053 This situation is just fucked up. 533 00:25:55,136 --> 00:25:56,179 Trash. 534 00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:58,473 - Complete trash. - It's trash. 535 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,100 Sometimes love is not enough. 536 00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:03,562 And Yoly is kinda saying that. 537 00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:04,854 "Love is not enough." 538 00:26:04,938 --> 00:26:06,606 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC FADES OUT] 539 00:26:09,901 --> 00:26:12,862 [SUCKS TEETH] If I proposed, would you still approve? 540 00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:19,244 Never heard you pause this long on a question. 541 00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:20,370 [WRY CHUCKLE] 542 00:26:26,459 --> 00:26:28,044 What is best for Mal? 543 00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:30,338 ["WHO CALLS IT LOVE" PLAYING] 544 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:32,632 ♪ Who calls it love? ♪ 545 00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:34,217 ♪ Who calls it love? ♪ 546 00:26:34,301 --> 00:26:37,345 ♪ That leaves us all in pain ♪ 547 00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:40,682 ♪ Who calls it love? ♪ 548 00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:42,392 ♪ Who calls it love... ♪ 549 00:26:42,475 --> 00:26:44,227 Hi, Zoey. 550 00:26:45,645 --> 00:26:48,356 Today is the last night that we're spending together, 551 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:52,819 so I just want to stay in and cuddle and, like, talk to you about life. 552 00:26:55,697 --> 00:26:57,855 Before me coming into this experience, 553 00:26:57,856 --> 00:26:59,868 I wasn't deeply thinking about marriage, 554 00:26:59,951 --> 00:27:03,393 and all of a sudden, now I actually am thinking 555 00:27:03,394 --> 00:27:04,394 about marriage with you. 556 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:07,500 We both want the same things. 557 00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:10,503 Working together and, like, getting to where we need to be next. 558 00:27:11,087 --> 00:27:13,878 That's something that I lived through, 559 00:27:13,879 --> 00:27:15,925 like, before, when I was married. 560 00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:20,055 - I learned so much from it, and I just... - What did you learn from it? 561 00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:23,433 Looking back at it, I know that I was not in love with my ex. 562 00:27:23,516 --> 00:27:25,018 I married her because I trusted her. 563 00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:28,730 - You married her because you trusted her? - I did trust... 564 00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:31,399 You didn't marry her because you were in love with her? 565 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:33,818 That's not... Tiff. Yeah, I'm not truly in love, 566 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:37,322 but I do love them as a human, as a person, as what we have. 567 00:27:37,405 --> 00:27:42,035 But, the fact is, you were actually never in love with your ex-wife. 568 00:27:42,118 --> 00:27:43,703 - Mm-hmm. - Yet you married her. 569 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:45,163 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYS] 570 00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:47,485 That's very scary because 571 00:27:47,486 --> 00:27:50,251 I actually am thinking about marriage with you. 572 00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:55,632 You telling me that you love me, which I'm sure you did with her, 573 00:27:56,132 --> 00:28:00,428 and now I'm thinking in my head, "What does that mean to me?" 574 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,640 I don't think people that marry only marry for one reason, Tiff. 575 00:28:03,723 --> 00:28:07,519 We both really, strongly wanted to have businesses, 576 00:28:07,602 --> 00:28:10,355 and we both looked at life in the same direction. We... 577 00:28:10,438 --> 00:28:11,635 So you married your business partner? 578 00:28:11,636 --> 00:28:14,442 That's like a little red flag to me. 579 00:28:18,321 --> 00:28:21,908 I thought I loved her, in the moment that I decided to marry her. 580 00:28:22,409 --> 00:28:27,497 We decided to go sign a paper and go do what we thought marriage was. 581 00:28:27,580 --> 00:28:29,240 People were like, "You guys are crazy. 582 00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:31,126 This is fast. What if it doesn't work?" 583 00:28:31,209 --> 00:28:34,629 I didn't care about all that. I wanted to do it because I wanted to. 584 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:37,549 What you're saying right now is... It's bullshit, Mildred. 585 00:28:37,632 --> 00:28:39,426 You go back and forth between, 586 00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:41,302 "I loved this person but I wasn't in love. 587 00:28:41,303 --> 00:28:43,680 I didn't know what love meant." 588 00:28:43,763 --> 00:28:46,182 Your version of love is all over the place. 589 00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:50,145 Do you really take marriage seriously? 590 00:28:50,228 --> 00:28:53,565 Because maybe you just want these "ideas of marriage" 591 00:28:53,648 --> 00:28:55,692 more than you actually want the person. 592 00:28:56,526 --> 00:28:59,191 Do you think your son deserves to have parents 593 00:28:59,192 --> 00:29:00,488 that are in love with each other? 594 00:29:00,572 --> 00:29:02,782 You'll never know, because you don't have a son, 595 00:29:02,866 --> 00:29:04,743 and you're not a single mother. And you... 596 00:29:04,826 --> 00:29:08,413 I know what it's like to be a child with parents not loving each other. 597 00:29:08,496 --> 00:29:10,081 You know what it is to be the child... 598 00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,810 And that's why I want you solid with me 599 00:29:11,811 --> 00:29:14,461 to know when you say that you love me, 600 00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:16,087 I need to know how you define... 601 00:29:16,171 --> 00:29:18,757 That makes sense that you want something solid now, Tiff, 602 00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:23,219 but you are sitting here, defining me by my actions in the past. 603 00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:26,890 You're sitting here, defining my love for you 604 00:29:26,973 --> 00:29:29,350 with the love that I had for my ex-wife. 605 00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:32,520 But what I will not allow you to do is to tell me that 606 00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:34,689 the same way I was confused when I married 607 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:36,274 is the same way I'm confused now. 608 00:29:36,357 --> 00:29:38,485 That I won't allow you to, because I know what I feel. 609 00:29:39,235 --> 00:29:43,406 I see failed marriages everywhere around me. 610 00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:46,409 I'm just like, "Why the fuck would someone want to get married 611 00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:49,162 to someone that isn't in love with them to begin with?" 612 00:29:49,746 --> 00:29:52,999 - ["THE GREATEST" PLAYING] - ♪ I'm gonna break you, break you down ♪ 613 00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:54,959 ♪ Ah ya ♪ 614 00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:59,380 ♪ It's all or nothing, nothing now ♪ 615 00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:02,383 I know that right now I'm solid, and I know what I feel. 616 00:30:02,467 --> 00:30:05,512 And if that's something that is not enough for you, 617 00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:08,431 maybe that means you're not the person I need to marry. 618 00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:11,476 [SINGER VOCALIZING] 619 00:30:16,272 --> 00:30:17,816 [SONG ENDS] 620 00:30:18,441 --> 00:30:20,902 [AUSSIE] How do you feel about it being our last night together? 621 00:30:20,985 --> 00:30:23,404 - I'm very independent. - [AUSSIE] Yeah. 622 00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:27,408 [SAM] But obviously you're not the only one with insecurities. 623 00:30:27,492 --> 00:30:31,204 - [AUSSIE] Mmm. - I hate to say it, but I've had moments... 624 00:30:31,287 --> 00:30:35,041 Um, I physically felt the wall that you put up. 625 00:30:35,124 --> 00:30:40,088 I physically saw a different face on you, like... 626 00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:42,507 Those were some very lonely moments. 627 00:30:44,300 --> 00:30:48,680 This experience has highlighted for me, I gotta be intentional. 628 00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:51,891 Every interaction, every emotion. 629 00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:53,935 Like, the good, the bad, and the ugly. 630 00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:56,187 Every moment in this experience matters. 631 00:30:56,980 --> 00:31:00,942 My ability to hear you when you tell me of your needs, 632 00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:05,071 that is so tied to the root of all the other issues I'm trying to solve. 633 00:31:05,154 --> 00:31:08,074 Like, unconditional love towards myself. 634 00:31:08,741 --> 00:31:11,050 If I could fix the root of the issue, 635 00:31:11,051 --> 00:31:14,080 then I think that, when I have self-love, 636 00:31:14,163 --> 00:31:16,207 I'm able to love you. [CHUCKLES] 637 00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:17,333 Yeah. 638 00:31:17,417 --> 00:31:20,753 I'm actually embarrassed to... 639 00:31:20,837 --> 00:31:22,964 Um, for you... 640 00:31:23,047 --> 00:31:26,885 - For me? - ... for you to see, like, to meet my family. 641 00:31:27,468 --> 00:31:29,387 - You're embarrassed? - I'm embarrassed. 642 00:31:29,470 --> 00:31:30,470 Why? 643 00:31:30,471 --> 00:31:34,434 Because, like, they're... Like my brother was trying to say, 644 00:31:34,517 --> 00:31:37,437 in a really nice way, they're pretty close-minded people. 645 00:31:39,272 --> 00:31:40,750 Obviously the goal here 646 00:31:40,751 --> 00:31:43,902 is that we are hoping to get engaged at the end of this. 647 00:31:44,694 --> 00:31:49,532 If this person sees me being my full authentic self as a bad thing, 648 00:31:49,616 --> 00:31:52,118 then what are they doing in my life? 649 00:31:52,201 --> 00:31:56,372 We shouldn't be surrounded by people who are trying to bring us down. 650 00:31:56,456 --> 00:31:59,292 We should be surrounded by people who empower us 651 00:31:59,375 --> 00:32:02,795 and make us feel like we are amazing and beautiful and strong. 652 00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:04,005 - All those things. - Yeah. 653 00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,510 I would like to experience 654 00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:12,055 what it would be like to grow up in a happy home. 655 00:32:12,138 --> 00:32:14,140 [SWEET, GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING] 656 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,939 [AUSSIE CRYING SOFTLY] 657 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:27,612 I really believe that, if it wasn't for my experience with my grandma, 658 00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:29,405 I wouldn't know how to love. 659 00:32:29,489 --> 00:32:32,033 With everything I've been through, I don't think I would. 660 00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:35,161 I would just be in pain, and I would just not even know how to... 661 00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:37,038 And... [SIGHS] 662 00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:39,165 I told you before, too, your brother too. 663 00:32:39,248 --> 00:32:41,250 - Ron. - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 664 00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:46,005 He is a lot of how he is because you raised him. 665 00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:47,548 [CHUCKLING] Yeah. [SNIFFS] 666 00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:48,632 Yeah. 667 00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:51,052 Thank you for that. 668 00:32:52,595 --> 00:32:54,931 But I don't regret anything. 669 00:32:55,014 --> 00:32:57,725 My mom did the best she could with what she had. 670 00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:01,854 My dad, even my dad did the best he could with what he had. 671 00:33:01,938 --> 00:33:03,606 - You know? So, um... - Right. Right. 672 00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:09,362 And I know they did their best because everyone's doing their best. 673 00:33:10,488 --> 00:33:11,531 In every moment. 674 00:33:11,614 --> 00:33:14,367 Yeah. Including you. 675 00:33:14,450 --> 00:33:16,077 Including me. [CHUCKLES] 676 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,079 - Yeah. - You forget that one the most. 677 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:19,080 I do. 678 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,999 ["HIGH TIDE" PLAYING] 679 00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:25,044 ♪ In these times ♪ 680 00:33:25,128 --> 00:33:28,631 ♪ On these nights ♪ 681 00:33:29,215 --> 00:33:33,386 ♪ In the hard times ♪ 682 00:33:33,469 --> 00:33:37,932 ♪ We're all each other has until the morning lights ♪ 683 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,643 ♪ I don't wanna fall in love ♪ 684 00:33:40,727 --> 00:33:46,524 ♪ Listen to my heartbeat ♪ ♪ Follow to the shoreline... ♪ 685 00:33:46,607 --> 00:33:49,736 I would like our last night to be, like, peaceful and full of love. 686 00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:51,988 - Sounds good. - What do you want? 687 00:33:51,989 --> 00:33:52,989 Same. 688 00:33:52,989 --> 00:33:53,989 I want pizza. 689 00:33:56,451 --> 00:33:57,827 That's your sad girl food. 690 00:33:57,910 --> 00:33:58,911 [LAUGHS] 691 00:33:59,912 --> 00:34:01,164 Not you knowing me. 692 00:34:01,664 --> 00:34:03,041 [CHUCKLES] It is. 693 00:34:03,791 --> 00:34:05,418 But this isn't light. 694 00:34:05,918 --> 00:34:07,545 This isn't picking a restaurant. 695 00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:09,672 [SCOFFS] Like, this is a big fucking deal. 696 00:34:10,173 --> 00:34:12,383 How do you think our trial marriage has gone? 697 00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:14,927 It's a little bit of a blur. Um... 698 00:34:15,011 --> 00:34:16,846 Got to learn new things about you. 699 00:34:17,805 --> 00:34:20,308 - In a good way or bad way? - [MAL] I don't know. 700 00:34:20,391 --> 00:34:23,352 It feels like home. Like, you feel like home to me. 701 00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:27,899 And sometimes home is an amazing place to be, 702 00:34:27,982 --> 00:34:29,442 and sometimes home just isn't. 703 00:34:29,525 --> 00:34:32,028 - [YOLY] Mm-hmm. - But it's always still home. 704 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,823 How do you think your trial marriage went with me? 705 00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:40,578 Um... I think at first it was super hard. 706 00:34:40,661 --> 00:34:43,122 It was hard and heart-wrenching 707 00:34:43,623 --> 00:34:47,710 for my own reasons of just feeling, like, bad, guilty. 708 00:34:48,628 --> 00:34:51,798 And also kinda feeling mad at you, but those feelings settled. 709 00:34:51,881 --> 00:34:54,217 You... You are amazing. You've been showing up. 710 00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:56,552 Fucking incredible. More than I can ask for. 711 00:34:56,636 --> 00:34:58,262 Like, more than I imagined. 712 00:34:58,346 --> 00:35:00,014 [GENTLE, AFFECTIONATE MUSIC PLAYING] 713 00:35:01,641 --> 00:35:04,227 I like who I've grown to be with you. 714 00:35:05,478 --> 00:35:06,521 Um... 715 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:09,857 - That doesn't mean it's been easy. - It's like that growth spurt I never had. 716 00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:12,610 I heard about everyone having growing pains where they had... 717 00:35:12,693 --> 00:35:14,821 Your bones hurt, and you grow an inch overnight. 718 00:35:14,904 --> 00:35:16,781 That's what it feels like in here. Like... 719 00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:19,992 The growth spurt. Yeah, that's a perfect analogy. 720 00:35:20,076 --> 00:35:22,745 - Growing pains and all that shit. - Happened pretty quick. 721 00:35:22,829 --> 00:35:24,914 [MAL] This trial marriage has been tough. 722 00:35:24,997 --> 00:35:26,833 I've shown up all the ways I could. 723 00:35:26,916 --> 00:35:29,460 I've, like, led with love every single day. 724 00:35:29,544 --> 00:35:31,129 I'm not trying to pressure Yoly. 725 00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:32,922 I'm not trying to force her hand. 726 00:35:33,422 --> 00:35:36,592 But I can't help but think that this could literally be 727 00:35:36,676 --> 00:35:38,594 my final night that I spend with Yoly. 728 00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,473 Like, forever. 729 00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:44,600 [YOLY] Do you want help? 730 00:35:47,270 --> 00:35:48,896 I spoke to your parents. 731 00:35:48,980 --> 00:35:50,314 About what? 732 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:54,318 I asked for their blessing in proposing to you. 733 00:35:55,862 --> 00:35:58,906 It was both of them, and I was like... [INHALES] "Oh snap." 734 00:35:59,657 --> 00:36:00,840 I was like, "I wanna be honest. 735 00:36:00,841 --> 00:36:02,702 I don't know what your daughter's gonna say." 736 00:36:02,785 --> 00:36:05,329 "But I want you guys to know that I love her." 737 00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:08,624 "And I'm not just marrying her. I'm marrying you guys too." 738 00:36:09,584 --> 00:36:11,252 - Were you scared? - [MAL] Yes. 739 00:36:12,086 --> 00:36:14,547 Especially to speak to your father. Yes. 740 00:36:14,630 --> 00:36:17,008 What was nice was to hear them be like, "You're family to us." 741 00:36:17,091 --> 00:36:18,968 And they were like, "That's so nice." 742 00:36:19,051 --> 00:36:21,888 "Of course you have our blessing. That's not a question." 743 00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:23,681 "It's about time." Like... 744 00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:26,131 I'm proud of you because I know 745 00:36:26,132 --> 00:36:29,395 that must've been nerve-racking, wrecking. 746 00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:32,940 And I'm sure you were nervous as fuck. 747 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:35,376 And for you to stand up for a decision 748 00:36:35,377 --> 00:36:37,653 that you're about to make is huge. 749 00:36:37,737 --> 00:36:42,742 Family is number one for me, and to see you honor my family before... 750 00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:47,914 trying to start creating a family with me is... is 751 00:36:47,997 --> 00:36:50,833 what I wanted since we've started this process. 752 00:36:52,585 --> 00:36:54,420 What I'm really proud about us 753 00:36:54,503 --> 00:36:59,508 is the way we are really dedicated to figure things out together. 754 00:36:59,592 --> 00:37:01,010 I like doing life with you. 755 00:37:01,011 --> 00:37:04,722 Me too. 756 00:37:04,722 --> 00:37:08,100 Is there anything that's making you question yourself? 757 00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:10,770 In moving forward? Okay. 758 00:37:10,853 --> 00:37:11,854 [MAL] Mm-mmm. 759 00:37:13,105 --> 00:37:16,651 - Which is really odd for me to be so sure. - [YOLY] For you. 760 00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:20,696 Hey. 761 00:37:22,365 --> 00:37:23,866 You did a good job, babe. 762 00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,285 ["IT'S IN MY HEART" PLAYING] 763 00:37:26,369 --> 00:37:29,580 ♪ So I'll reach a little further ♪ 764 00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:33,084 - [RAE] Wow. - [LEXI] Super cute. 765 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:35,211 Little waterfall for ya. 766 00:37:37,004 --> 00:37:40,341 Cheers to, any way you slice it, 767 00:37:41,842 --> 00:37:43,970 our last date night as girlfriends. 768 00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:46,722 - [RAE] Oh boy. - Or whatever that means. 769 00:37:51,310 --> 00:37:52,311 [LEXI] Whoo. 770 00:37:53,896 --> 00:37:55,273 Do you remember that date 771 00:37:55,356 --> 00:38:00,069 where... I had, like, handwritten out the menu? 772 00:38:00,152 --> 00:38:01,904 When you were really trying to woo me. 773 00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:03,447 Really was trying to woo you. 774 00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,284 Life with you has always just been good. 775 00:38:07,285 --> 00:38:11,580 I think I really was hopeful that this experience would give us 776 00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:13,874 what we needed to take that next step. 777 00:38:14,458 --> 00:38:16,669 I do feel like it's always been you. 778 00:38:17,169 --> 00:38:19,005 I've never really wavered in that. 779 00:38:20,047 --> 00:38:21,215 I've always known. 780 00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:26,304 [RAE] Well, this is getting hot. 781 00:38:26,929 --> 00:38:30,141 [LEXI] Getting hot in here? You gonna take off all your clothes? 782 00:38:30,224 --> 00:38:32,601 - I might take off some of my clothes. - [LAUGHS] 783 00:38:33,227 --> 00:38:34,312 [LEXI] I really love you. 784 00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:36,022 [RAE] I know I love you. 785 00:38:36,605 --> 00:38:37,690 I know this. 786 00:38:37,773 --> 00:38:39,942 I love our three years. 787 00:38:41,527 --> 00:38:42,695 [EXHALES HEAVILY] 788 00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:47,074 Every time I talk about this it makes me cry. 789 00:38:47,992 --> 00:38:49,118 [LEXI] I love you too. 790 00:38:49,702 --> 00:38:51,370 I don't wanna lose what we have. 791 00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:55,041 But, like, I need more concrete answers right now. 792 00:38:56,208 --> 00:38:57,918 [RAE] I am still, like, 793 00:38:59,253 --> 00:39:00,713 going through, like, 794 00:39:01,213 --> 00:39:03,674 "What about this? What about that?" You know me. 795 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:07,094 - I know. - [RAE] I think forever is hard for me. 796 00:39:07,178 --> 00:39:08,763 This is a big commitment. 797 00:39:09,263 --> 00:39:10,556 It's a weird situation. 798 00:39:10,639 --> 00:39:11,849 It is the ultimatum. 799 00:39:11,932 --> 00:39:14,060 Like, I feel back-against-the-wall, 800 00:39:14,143 --> 00:39:17,063 and it's either making a decision or losing you. 801 00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:20,608 But there's, like, so many factors 802 00:39:20,691 --> 00:39:23,778 that kind of get in the way or, like, block me 803 00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:26,864 or make me second-guess... things. 804 00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:29,116 You can talk about Vanessa. That's okay. 805 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:33,537 Yeah? You have no secrets? 806 00:39:34,288 --> 00:39:35,539 No bodies in the closet? 807 00:39:38,125 --> 00:39:39,627 I already said it before. 808 00:39:40,795 --> 00:39:43,130 [LEXI] I'm just trying to, you know, 809 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:47,551 give you the room to feel settled in whatever decision you make. 810 00:39:50,805 --> 00:39:52,515 I've told you how I feel about it. 811 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,268 - This is weird. - Yeah. 812 00:39:57,186 --> 00:39:59,605 You're gonna make the decision that's right for you. 813 00:39:59,688 --> 00:40:01,732 I'm gonna make the one that's right for me. 814 00:40:02,358 --> 00:40:04,360 ["RUNAWAY" BY THE RIGS PLAYING] 815 00:40:05,111 --> 00:40:06,278 This is weird. 816 00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:11,700 ♪ You saw my eyes but the soul that they hide wasn't me ♪ 817 00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:14,787 [SINGER VOCALIZING] 818 00:40:14,870 --> 00:40:17,790 ♪ Like a runaway, runaway, ooh ♪ 819 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:21,377 ♪ Like a runaway, runaway, ooh ♪ 820 00:40:23,462 --> 00:40:25,131 - ♪ Ooh ♪ - [SONG FADES OUT] 821 00:40:25,214 --> 00:40:27,425 [VANESSA] Hot toddy. Love it. 822 00:40:28,134 --> 00:40:29,552 - [LAUGHS] - It's funky. 823 00:40:30,094 --> 00:40:31,595 It's funky? 824 00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,389 [XANDER] It's definitely funky. 825 00:40:39,395 --> 00:40:42,356 It's so interesting because... So many heavy conversations, 826 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,275 but you say "funky" the way you said it, 827 00:40:44,276 --> 00:40:46,110 and I'm like, "That's my Xander." 828 00:40:46,193 --> 00:40:47,361 I feel like I've lost you. 829 00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:50,114 Then I'm like, "There she is." And I love those glimpses. 830 00:40:52,074 --> 00:40:54,827 This experience has changed me so much. 831 00:40:54,910 --> 00:40:57,788 To come into this experience thinking I'm ready to get married, 832 00:40:57,872 --> 00:40:59,874 and then to be so confused 833 00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:02,835 and feeling like, "I don't know who should be my partner, 834 00:41:02,918 --> 00:41:05,296 and I have feelings for two people." 835 00:41:12,386 --> 00:41:13,386 [CLEARS THROAT] 836 00:41:16,348 --> 00:41:19,185 Something I've been thinking about a lot is my capacity to love 837 00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:24,106 and how that affected our relationship for, like, four years. 838 00:41:24,773 --> 00:41:27,109 Like, I really feel like I didn't 839 00:41:27,943 --> 00:41:28,944 know... 840 00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:32,615 how to love. 841 00:41:34,283 --> 00:41:37,495 Like, I loved you, but I didn't realize until... 842 00:41:39,872 --> 00:41:40,872 being here, 843 00:41:40,873 --> 00:41:43,167 like, how much I could love someone. 844 00:41:45,252 --> 00:41:48,088 So now, looking back, I realize that 845 00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:50,758 I didn't give you all the love I had in me. 846 00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:52,968 [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING] 847 00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:04,396 [XANDER] I see all of your change. 848 00:42:05,481 --> 00:42:08,400 I also always knew you did love me. 849 00:42:08,484 --> 00:42:10,361 I wouldn't have stayed if I didn't. 850 00:42:14,198 --> 00:42:15,908 [EXHALES SHAKILY] 851 00:42:17,743 --> 00:42:18,911 I'm not over this yet. 852 00:42:21,830 --> 00:42:23,832 [GENTLE, ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING] 853 00:42:28,587 --> 00:42:29,587 [MOUTHING] I love you. 854 00:42:32,299 --> 00:42:34,301 [GENTLE, ETHEREAL MUSIC BUILDS] 855 00:42:59,076 --> 00:43:00,202 [VANESSA] I love you. 856 00:43:00,286 --> 00:43:02,204 [XANDER] I love you so much more. 857 00:43:03,664 --> 00:43:05,666 [SOFT, SOULFUL POP SONG PLAYING] 858 00:43:11,964 --> 00:43:12,965 You're all packed up? 859 00:43:13,048 --> 00:43:14,633 Gonna say bye to Shylo. 860 00:43:15,134 --> 00:43:16,635 Bye, little baby. 861 00:43:20,431 --> 00:43:21,932 [LEXI] Decision day is coming, 862 00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:24,643 and there's a chance I could lose the love of my life. 863 00:43:25,227 --> 00:43:27,187 I would love to just take us away from here. 864 00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,315 But I also know I need to be chosen. 865 00:43:29,398 --> 00:43:33,485 I don't know how the biggest parts of my life would look without you. 866 00:43:33,569 --> 00:43:35,279 - ♪ Holdin' on ♪ - [RAE SNIFFS] 867 00:43:36,780 --> 00:43:39,450 [VANESSA] The unknown gets decided. 868 00:43:41,535 --> 00:43:44,705 I don't know if I'm ready to face... that. 869 00:43:45,205 --> 00:43:48,584 - [XANDER] Mm-hmm. - ♪ 'Cause I don't know how to lose you ♪ 870 00:43:48,667 --> 00:43:50,502 Thank you for everything. 871 00:43:51,211 --> 00:43:52,755 You know it was worth it. 872 00:43:53,839 --> 00:43:54,965 Okay, bye. 873 00:43:56,425 --> 00:43:59,511 - [SIGHS DEEPLY] - ♪ To breathe you in again ♪ 874 00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:01,889 ♪ Is all that I want ♪ 875 00:44:04,767 --> 00:44:06,226 [MAL] We'll never be who we were. 876 00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:07,310 Mm-mmm. 877 00:44:07,311 --> 00:44:09,063 Whether we walk together or not. 878 00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:12,232 Haven't given up. I'm just in a place where I'm like... 879 00:44:14,234 --> 00:44:16,779 "What else can I say? Like, what else can I say?" 880 00:44:16,862 --> 00:44:18,656 Nobody tried harder than us. 881 00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:22,117 Nobody believed in us more than we did. 882 00:44:22,910 --> 00:44:25,245 I really don't have words for how this feels. 883 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:29,958 ♪ I don't know how to leave here ♪ 884 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:38,008 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING] 885 00:44:41,428 --> 00:44:44,431 Our couples accepted the ultimatum just two months ago 886 00:44:45,057 --> 00:44:49,061 and committed to experiencing two visions of what marriage could be. 887 00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:52,272 All to find out, "Am I really with the person 888 00:44:52,356 --> 00:44:54,608 that I could spend the rest of my life with?" 889 00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:57,945 "Or is there someone else out there who might be a better fit?" 890 00:44:58,028 --> 00:45:00,280 Who has found the one? 891 00:45:01,490 --> 00:45:02,783 Who will propose? 892 00:45:04,785 --> 00:45:06,203 Who will walk away alone? 893 00:45:08,163 --> 00:45:10,624 Now time is up on The Ultimatum. 894 00:45:12,084 --> 00:45:14,086 [DRAMATIC MUSIC PEAKS AND FADES OUT] 895 00:45:15,796 --> 00:45:17,798 [PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING] 896 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,721 I don't even know what I'm feeling. 897 00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:26,807 Confused? Um, overwhelmed? 898 00:45:26,890 --> 00:45:31,228 I can be leaving here engaged to Mal, leave here with Xander, 899 00:45:31,311 --> 00:45:33,689 or I can leave alone. 900 00:45:35,399 --> 00:45:37,776 [MAL] This has been a very trying experience. 901 00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:38,860 I'm feeling 902 00:45:39,903 --> 00:45:40,903 anxious. 903 00:45:41,947 --> 00:45:45,743 I mean, I felt better coming in here than I do leaving. 904 00:45:45,826 --> 00:45:47,828 [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] 905 00:45:49,146 --> 00:45:50,164 [SNIFFLING] 906 00:45:50,164 --> 00:45:52,916 [YOLY] I'm feeling pulled in two different directions. 907 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,629 I have... Mal, who I wanted to marry coming in here. 908 00:45:57,713 --> 00:46:00,090 We have this history. We have our love. 909 00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:03,051 And, like, I think that Mal wants to work 910 00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:06,305 and see this through the way she has been the last three weeks. 911 00:46:06,972 --> 00:46:09,057 Then I've got Xander. 912 00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:11,852 We connect in so many fucking ways. 913 00:46:12,352 --> 00:46:14,772 We want the same things. 914 00:46:14,855 --> 00:46:17,441 We respect and love each other the same kind of way... 915 00:46:18,567 --> 00:46:22,738 And who has said she's ready to, like, do this thing with me. 916 00:46:22,821 --> 00:46:24,239 It's not so much I'm uncertain. 917 00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:27,075 I'm certain of what it would look like with either one. 918 00:46:27,576 --> 00:46:30,204 I just don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do. 919 00:46:31,205 --> 00:46:33,707 [MAL] I received the ultimatum, and now it's time 920 00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:35,667 to decide what I'm gonna do. 921 00:46:37,169 --> 00:46:38,754 I don't even know. 922 00:46:38,837 --> 00:46:41,965 ♪ I've been waiting for you ♪ 923 00:46:50,557 --> 00:46:53,852 ♪ I've been waiting for you ♪ 924 00:46:54,394 --> 00:46:56,355 [SINGER VOCALIZING] 925 00:46:56,438 --> 00:46:58,774 ♪ I've been waiting for ♪ 926 00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:02,653 ♪ You ♪ 927 00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:04,665 [MAL] We came into this experience 928 00:47:04,666 --> 00:47:07,032 on two very opposite ends of the stick. 929 00:47:07,115 --> 00:47:09,493 I wasn't dragging my feet for no reason. 930 00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:14,081 But this experience has revolutionized my idea of marriage. 931 00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:17,042 It's not about, "Do you guys have enough savings to do that?" 932 00:47:17,125 --> 00:47:18,752 It's about Yoly and I. 933 00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:26,718 [YOLY] Issuing the ultimatum, I have been forced to confront 934 00:47:26,802 --> 00:47:30,639 all the issues that I didn't even know were pulling me back. 935 00:47:31,223 --> 00:47:33,392 My needs were not being met. 936 00:47:33,892 --> 00:47:36,436 But there's also a lot of love and support. 937 00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:44,486 [MAL] I want Yoly to be happy. I love her with everything I have. 938 00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:47,489 But she's expressed to me she's in love with two people. 939 00:47:47,573 --> 00:47:49,324 So I am torn. 940 00:47:49,825 --> 00:47:52,995 I'm not nervous telling Yoly how I feel at this point. 941 00:47:53,078 --> 00:47:55,150 I... I'm nervous this could be 942 00:47:55,151 --> 00:47:57,875 really the last time that I have the chance. 943 00:47:57,958 --> 00:48:00,669 ["HERE WE COME" PLAYING] 944 00:48:01,378 --> 00:48:05,090 [YOLY] My heart and my mind are in two different places. 945 00:48:05,173 --> 00:48:08,802 I want it all. I want my what-could-be life with Xander, 946 00:48:08,886 --> 00:48:11,930 and I want what my life with Mal has been also. 947 00:48:13,807 --> 00:48:15,517 God, I'm gonna fucking vomit. 948 00:48:16,768 --> 00:48:20,188 Like, either way, I'm scared of losing somebody who I love. 949 00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:23,108 ♪ Here we come ♪ 950 00:48:24,860 --> 00:48:26,695 ♪ Here we come ♪ 951 00:48:27,237 --> 00:48:29,948 I just don't know who I want to spend my life with. 952 00:48:31,533 --> 00:48:33,535 ♪ Here we come ♪ 953 00:48:34,244 --> 00:48:35,662 ♪ Here we come ♪ 954 00:48:35,746 --> 00:48:37,915 [SONG FADES OUT] 955 00:48:40,459 --> 00:48:42,127 Oh God. 956 00:48:46,506 --> 00:48:47,591 Oh God. 957 00:48:48,550 --> 00:48:50,469 - You look good. - Thank you. 958 00:48:50,969 --> 00:48:53,388 - You look great, yourself. - Very good. Thank you. 959 00:48:54,389 --> 00:48:55,389 So... 960 00:48:56,642 --> 00:48:58,352 - [EXHALES SHARPLY] - Um... 961 00:48:58,435 --> 00:49:00,103 Do you want to get closer? You good? 962 00:49:00,604 --> 00:49:02,981 - [SIGHS] I just don't know. - Okay. 963 00:49:03,065 --> 00:49:05,233 - Here? I can get closer. - No, you're fine. 964 00:49:05,317 --> 00:49:06,985 Whatever is comfortable for you. 965 00:49:12,240 --> 00:49:13,241 Um... 966 00:49:17,079 --> 00:49:19,373 This has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 967 00:49:19,456 --> 00:49:22,209 And when I think about our relationship in retrospect, 968 00:49:22,292 --> 00:49:24,461 I remember putting a wall up 969 00:49:25,003 --> 00:49:27,339 and closing behind and making you chase me. 970 00:49:27,422 --> 00:49:30,092 I don't want to do that anymore. I'm done doing that. 971 00:49:30,175 --> 00:49:31,843 [GENTLE, SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 972 00:49:31,927 --> 00:49:34,429 I think you deserve the world. I've always thought that. 973 00:49:35,180 --> 00:49:37,891 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 974 00:49:47,484 --> 00:49:48,485 [MAL] Are you okay? 975 00:49:55,701 --> 00:49:56,701 [YOLY] Um... 976 00:49:57,953 --> 00:49:59,663 [CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES] 977 00:50:03,458 --> 00:50:04,543 What you said was beautiful. 978 00:50:06,169 --> 00:50:09,840 I, like, hear you and see you and believe you in what you're saying. 979 00:50:12,092 --> 00:50:14,302 I want you to know I'm still in love with somebody else. 980 00:50:14,386 --> 00:50:16,388 [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] 981 00:50:20,559 --> 00:50:21,852 I feel like I knew that. 982 00:50:23,603 --> 00:50:24,855 I haven't walked away. 983 00:50:24,938 --> 00:50:26,440 [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] 984 00:50:31,069 --> 00:50:32,279 I wrote you something. 985 00:50:36,742 --> 00:50:37,743 Um... 986 00:50:38,994 --> 00:50:40,245 I wrote, um... 987 00:50:44,374 --> 00:50:46,710 "You're my family. You're my teacher." 988 00:50:47,878 --> 00:50:49,087 "You're my best friend." 989 00:50:49,171 --> 00:50:52,466 "You challenge the toughest parts of me, and you still love me." 990 00:50:53,091 --> 00:50:56,094 "You reflect all the best parts of me I don't always see in myself." 991 00:50:57,679 --> 00:50:59,639 "The parts I don't think I always deserve." 992 00:51:01,016 --> 00:51:04,144 "You're humble. You're a fighter. You're loyal." 993 00:51:04,227 --> 00:51:06,271 "You're just the right amount of crazy." 994 00:51:07,939 --> 00:51:10,484 "It has been the sweetest gift to watch you, 995 00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:13,779 to let alone love you, and even a bigger honor to join you." 996 00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:16,615 "I choose you, Yoly." 997 00:51:18,033 --> 00:51:20,786 "I promise to keep choosing you and us, daily." 998 00:51:22,996 --> 00:51:25,457 "I knew it was you three weeks into dating you." 999 00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:27,584 "Three years ago." 1000 00:51:29,461 --> 00:51:30,754 "It's always been you." 1001 00:51:30,837 --> 00:51:32,255 "I know it's you now." 1002 00:51:33,256 --> 00:51:34,966 "And if it's not now... 1003 00:51:35,050 --> 00:51:37,052 [DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS SLOWLY] 1004 00:51:38,220 --> 00:51:40,555 ... I promise to come looking for you in the next lifetime." 1005 00:51:44,309 --> 00:51:46,103 "But not without asking you... " 1006 00:51:47,312 --> 00:51:48,313 [GRUNTS SOFTLY] 1007 00:51:51,274 --> 00:51:52,818 "Will you do life with me?" 1008 00:51:54,653 --> 00:51:55,862 "And will you marry me?" 1009 00:51:58,198 --> 00:52:00,200 [DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES] 1010 00:52:04,329 --> 00:52:05,705 [YOLY SNIFFLING] 1011 00:52:14,381 --> 00:52:16,550 ♪ Dangerous games ♪ 1012 00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:17,968 [DRAMATIC POP SONG PLAYS] 1013 00:52:18,051 --> 00:52:19,845 [TIFF] Whether I get down on one knee or not 1014 00:52:19,928 --> 00:52:23,765 is going to alter the course of my life forever. 1015 00:52:23,849 --> 00:52:25,642 ♪ Dangerous games ♪ 1016 00:52:25,725 --> 00:52:28,395 [LEXI] This could be the first moment of the rest of your life, 1017 00:52:28,478 --> 00:52:32,023 or it could be the last moment of Rae and Lexi. 1018 00:52:32,107 --> 00:52:35,235 [SAM] In our three weeks together, 1019 00:52:35,318 --> 00:52:38,363 there are just so many of those moments of just, like... 1020 00:52:40,031 --> 00:52:41,366 you walking away. 1021 00:52:41,449 --> 00:52:42,450 Yeah. 1022 00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:49,160 I don't know if Aussie is ready to be what I need for me. 1023 00:52:50,792 --> 00:52:53,336 [SINGERS VOCALIZING] 1024 00:52:53,420 --> 00:52:55,630 [XANDER] I've had dreams of proposing to her, 1025 00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:58,592 and I've had dreams of watching her walk down the aisle. 1026 00:52:58,675 --> 00:53:02,345 I really cannot imagine my life without her in it. 1027 00:53:02,429 --> 00:53:05,974 I am definitely risking losing her forever. 1028 00:53:10,228 --> 00:53:12,522 ♪ Dangerous games ♪ 1029 00:53:13,064 --> 00:53:14,399 [YOLY SOBBING] 1030 00:53:14,482 --> 00:53:17,194 ♪ I'm breaking all the rules ♪ 1031 00:53:17,277 --> 00:53:19,404 ♪ I'm playing it so cool ♪ 1032 00:53:19,487 --> 00:53:22,949 ♪ I'm playing it so cool, baby ♪ 1033 00:53:23,033 --> 00:53:25,869 ♪ I'm breaking all the rules ♪ 1034 00:53:25,952 --> 00:53:28,413 ♪ I'm playing it so cool ♪ 1035 00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:32,000 ♪ I'm playing it so cool, baby ♪ 1036 00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:34,419 ♪ 'Cause I'm never gonna ever stop ♪ 1037 00:53:34,502 --> 00:53:37,422 ♪ I'm always gonna shake it up ♪ 1038 00:53:37,505 --> 00:53:40,425 ♪ Always gonna shake it up ♪ 1039 00:53:40,508 --> 00:53:42,427 [SONG TRAILS OFF] 1040 00:53:42,428 --> 00:53:47,428 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 81271

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