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*
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(WHEEL CLICKS)
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('TASKMASTER' THEME MUSIC)
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- (SNORTS)
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- (BLUBBERS LIPS)
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00:00:05,560 --> 00:00:06,200
- (GASPS)
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(KEYS CLACK)
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(CLUNK!)
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(SPLASH!)
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(THUD!)
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(KEYS CLACK)
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- (GROANS)
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(POP!)
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I'm peeing in the water.
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00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:14,720
- Whoo-hoo!
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- Gotta be faster than that!
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- Ta-da!
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(KEYS CLACK)
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- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
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(SPLASH!)
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(WHEEL CLICKS)
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- (EXHALES)
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(CLUNK!)
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www.able.co.nz
Copyright Able 2021
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(DING!)
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(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
27
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,120
- Kia ora koutou.
Welcome all to Taskmaster.
28
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,520
My name is Jeremy Wells, and
according to a television contract
29
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:48,280
overseen by several high-profile
entertainment lawyers, I am the
Taskmaster.
30
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,280
(LAUGHTER)
31
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A few months ago,
I set four comedians and one
over-achieving radio host
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a series of complex tasks.
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Tonight, we will watch them
attempt those tasks, revel
in their successes
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00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:06,640
and take particular delight
in their embarrassing failure.
(LAUGHTER)
35
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:11,640
Our contestants tonight
are David Correos,...
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
36
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,560
...Guy Montgomery,...
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,160
...Laura Daniel,...
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,600
...Matt Heath,...
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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...Urzila Carlson.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:28,200
None of them know how they've done
in these tasks, and tonight I will
be judging them, ranking them
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00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:34,080
from best to worst and assigning a
numerical value to their self-worth.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,200
Assisting me in all things
administration, both on and
off screen,
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00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:42,680
it's my trusty assistant,
Paul Williams.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
44
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:47,840
- It's OK. I appreciate you guys
clapping, cos I'm actually feeling
kinda down at the moment.
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00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,880
I'm entering what is known as
the dark period of any man's life
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00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:55,000
when they're too old to play
Rolf in the Sound of Music...
(LAUGHTER)
47
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,960
...but not old enough to play
Captain von Trapp in The Sound
of Music.
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00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,960
- I feel like you could
play one of the Nazis.
(LAUGHTER)
49
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,440
- It's not the same.
50
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:06,960
- Paul knows all
our tasks inside out.
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00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:11,960
He's so passionate about the role,
it's almost pathetic.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,160
Would you like to introduce
our first task, Paul?
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- It would make me
the happiest man in the world.
(LAUGHTER)
54
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:20,360
Our first task is,
as always, a prize task.
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Whoever's brought in
the best prize will get five points,
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and whoever has the most points at
the end of an episode will take home
all five prizes.
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00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:33,040
So, tonight, take off your jerseys
and put on your oven mitts.
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These five people have
brought in the hottest thing.
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- The hottest thing.
- AUDIENCE: Ooh!
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Let's turn up the heat.
(LAUGHTER)
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Whose first? Laura.
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00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:49,960
- Well, the task is bring in the
hottest thing, so I brought in an
iron.
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00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,960
(LAUGHTER)
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00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:56,320
And it's particularly hot
because of where it comes from.
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00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,160
(LAUGHTER)
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00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,320
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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I mean, hot on multiple levels.
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- True story about that photo ― the
billboard just happened to be 200m
from my grandmother'shouse.
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00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:12,880
(LAUGHTER)
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00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:18,680
She was 91 when she saw that,
and she lasted another month.
(LAUGHTER)
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- She died of heat stroke.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
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00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:28,640
- That's cold. That is cold.
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- Urzila.
- Yes.
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- What did you bring in?
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- Well, what is hotter
than believing in yourself?
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And I brought in a picture of me.
(CHUCKLES)
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00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,520
- Uh-oh.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,920
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:50,080
- And, look, can I just say that
absolutely ruined the lounge, but...
(LAUGHTER)
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00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:54,240
...I think it is worth it.
You can see a bit of nip in there.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:57,520
- Yeah, I don't think you
needed to point that out.
- Yeah.
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00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,520
- David.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,040
- I made this.
84
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:09,760
I'm pretty hot. I'm constantly
sweating, so why not be me?
But if you turn it around,...
85
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:13,160
I've lined it with Deep Heat.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:18,000
So if you were to wear this mask,
you would be burning.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,880
- That is intense.
- It looks scary.
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- But not hot. You're right.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:28,440
Like, he's eliminating himself.
- Doesn't look hot,
but, fuck, it'll feel hot.
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00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:29,920
(LAUGHTER)
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00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,480
- Matt, what did you bring in?
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00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,280
- Well, Jerry, as you know,
you and me are on radio,
93
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and some experts one day realised
that our audience was about 99.9%
male,
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and they wanted to sort
of invite women along.
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So there was a photo shoot that
was originally just gonna be you,
but then it was both ofus.
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Then I think it came out really hot,
so I've had it framed.
(LAUGHTER)
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- That is cute at best.
(LAUGHTER)
98
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,320
- I remember it well.
- Yeah.
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00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,840
- I didn't frame my version of it.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:09,160
- What does it plug into?
- Well, that's an interesting
point you've brought up there,
101
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,720
because I didn't think
that was quite hot enough,
102
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,720
so it's actually got an element in
there to actually heat it up, so it
can work as a heater.
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00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,400
(LAUGHTER)
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00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:17,720
- Brings us to Guy.
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00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:21,080
- Well, after this
parade of self-delusion,
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I've brought in what is genuinely
the hottest thing in the world,
I think you'll find,
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and that is a slice of tomato from
the middle of a toasted sandwich.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
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00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,080
That thing is molten.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,640
- Uh, when was it cooked?
- Uh, well, it was―
it was cooked a while ago,
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but the thing with the slice
of tomato in the middle of a
toasted sandwich
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00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,320
is they stay that hot forever.
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The only way to cool one of
those down is in, a cruel and
ironic twist, eating it.
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(LAUGHTER)
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00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,000
- OK, let's score that round,
should we?
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I gotta say, I don't find
myself particularly hot.
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I see what you have done, Laura,
and I see what Matt has done
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by bringing in photos that
have me associated with them.
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00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,880
- I didn't say you were hot.
I was saying I was hot.
(LAUGHTER)
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- I have to give you guys
the lowest points.
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00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:10,040
David, I thought yours was hot
but terrifying at the same time,
so three points.
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00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,360
- Mine burns people. It's so hot.
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- You should be happy with three.
- Thank you.
(LAUGHTER)
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I think Guy, four points.
- OK.
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- Cos, yes, tomatoes are hot coming
out of a toasted sandwich machines.
- Thank you, Jeremy.
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00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,840
- And, Urzila, that was so hot.
- Smoking, right?
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00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,840
I have one framed and waiting
for you in the dressing room.
- I'd love that.
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00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,560
(LAUGHTER)
I'd love that.
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00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,560
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
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00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,160
- Currently, that puts Urzila
in the lead with five points.
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00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:38,920
But with such a lavish prize pool,
there is literally everything
to play for.
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00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:43,960
Shall we go to the Taskmaster house?
- Yes. I'm in the mood
for a tasty task.
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00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,720
- OK. I should clarify that,
actually, this task does involve
a Brussels sprout,
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00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:50,720
which famously not very tasty.
(LAUGHTER)
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00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,000
But, uh, anyway, here it is.
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00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,120
(DRAMATIC MUSIC)
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- Hello, Paul.
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- This is exciting.
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00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:01,520
- What's going on here?
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00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,040
- Ugh, yuck.
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00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,800
- Why is that moist?
141
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,880
- I'm nervous about this.
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00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:10,720
- READS: 'Float this Brussels sprout
down from the balcony.'
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- 'Longest float time wins.'
144
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,880
- 'You have 20 minutes...'
145
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,400
- '...and one floating attempt.'
146
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,400
- 'Your time starts...'
147
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- Say the word, please.
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- '...now.' Aargh!
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- (EXHALES)
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- Down there?
- Uh, yes.
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00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,120
- I've got an ideal.
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- I'm gonna go look for some stuff.
Is that OK?
- Yes.
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00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,480
- Don't follow me.
- I wasn't going to.
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00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,480
(LAUGHTER)
155
00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:36,560
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
156
00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:41,840
- This is quite a tricky one,
because by their very nature, Paul,
Brussels sprouts, they donot float.
157
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:46,960
- Correct, yes. The average weight
of a Brussels sprout is about 25g,
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00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:53,240
whereas a feather, famously good for
floating, only weighs about 0.0082g.
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00:07:54,080 --> 00:08:01,520
So were these contestants able to
convince a Brussels sprout to lose
99.96% of its body weight?
160
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,520
Here's Urzila and Matt.
161
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:09,680
- So, what I'm thinking here
is some sort of oregan... no.
Oregan...
162
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,480
- ...mi?
- Origami?
163
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:14,720
- So, what are you thinking?
- Build it a little parachute.
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- Balloon propulsion out the back.
And then if I set it on fire,...
(LIGHTER CLICKS)
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...it'll look cool.
166
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:23,040
- You would've gone balloon,
wouldn't ya?
- I'm not sure.
167
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,040
- But I don't have helium
in my lungs.
168
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,720
(AIR SQUEALS)
- Do you see what I'm getting at?
169
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,720
(SQUEALING CONTINUES)
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00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,960
(SQUEALING STOPS)
See what I'm getting at?
171
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:37,160
- You've got 16 and a half minutes.
- You're a buzzkill with that.
- Sorry.
172
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,000
- Are you starting to see
what I'm trying to do here?
- Not really.
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00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:40,640
(POP!)
174
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:41,480
(POP!)
175
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,480
- So far so good.
176
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,440
That was pretty good!
- Yeah.
177
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,440
(POP!)
178
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,360
(LAUGHTER)
179
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,680
- All right, lucky I didn't use
that technique, cos that's shit.
180
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,680
- OK.
181
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,360
I think I'm ready.
182
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,080
- I'll go down to judge it.
183
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:06,080
- Are you going to jump?
- I-I was just gonna walk.
184
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,280
- Have you seen that movie 'Up'?
- Yup.
185
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,440
- It's very similar to that.
- Where those helium balloons?
186
00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,000
- How long have I got?
- You've got 3.25.
187
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,000
- I don't have time to search
the whole house for helium.
188
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,560
- Three, two
189
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:20,560
one.
190
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:25,280
That was actually not bad.
I was actually surprised by that.
191
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:26,720
- Can you hear that?
- Yeah.
192
00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,680
- That's concerning.
193
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,680
Can you hear that?
- Yes.
194
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,840
- That's a problem.
195
00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:34,880
Oh, here we go.
196
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,960
(SOMBRE PIANO MUSIC)
197
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,440
(LAUGHTER)
198
00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,080
(POP!)
199
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:47,120
Very, very disappointed in that.
It just fell straight down.
200
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:51,960
Like, I think it would've probably
travelled... the same speed without
all the balloons.
201
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,200
- Yeah.
202
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,040
- You look disappointed in me.
- You did your best.
203
00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,880
- Yeah, that's the...
that's what really hurts.
204
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,960
Yeah. Hey, thanks, Paul.
205
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,040
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
206
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,000
- 'That's what really hurts.'
207
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,000
- Are you happy with that effort,
Matt?
208
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,440
- No, I'm not happy with it.
I was about to quit at that
point, actually. That was―
209
00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,600
I went into a deep depression.
- That was the first day.
(LAUGHTER)
210
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:19,720
- Do you think the Brussels sprout
would have gone down slower without
the balloons?
211
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:24,760
- I did time a Brussels sprout
falling on its own, and it took
about 1.8 seconds.
212
00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:28,360
- And how long was mine?
- Matt was 2.48 seconds.
- Yes!
213
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,360
- So he did―
And Urzila, 2.8 seconds.
214
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:36,560
- There are plenty more
floating vegetables to come right
after some delicious advertising.
215
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:40,040
We'll see you soon.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
216
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,280
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
217
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:44,380
*
218
00:10:44,620 --> 00:10:46,620
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
219
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,780
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
220
00:10:49,980 --> 00:10:54,580
- Welcome back to Taskmaster,
TV's highest stakes low-stakes
comedy show.
221
00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:56,980
Paul Williams,
what is going on right now?
222
00:10:56,980 --> 00:11:03,100
- Our contestants are attempting to
float a Brussels sprout down from a
balcony as slowly as possible.
223
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:08,100
Both Urzila and Matt considered
using helium but assumed that
there wouldn't be any in the house,
224
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:11,020
so they didn't bother to look.
(LAUGHTER)
225
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:15,300
Up next to float a Brussels sprout
is David Correos.
226
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:16,940
- I found the helium.
227
00:11:16,940 --> 00:11:18,940
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
228
00:11:19,740 --> 00:11:20,980
Ooh, it's light.
229
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:22,980
(HELIUM HISSES)
230
00:11:28,340 --> 00:11:29,660
(LAUGHTER)
231
00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:31,660
(POP!)
(EXCLAIMS)
232
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,620
No! Oh! Fuck!
233
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:37,620
Oh Jesus!
234
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:41,420
I didn't think about
a way to tie it.
235
00:11:42,260 --> 00:11:43,300
(LAUGHTER)
236
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:45,300
Oh! Shit! Shit!
237
00:11:47,020 --> 00:11:49,020
(GROANS)
238
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,140
(GROANS IN FRUSTRATION)
239
00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:53,220
(POP!)
They're popping!
240
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:56,180
(UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC)
241
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,220
No! No!
242
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,340
(LAUGHTER)
243
00:12:03,340 --> 00:12:05,220
Fuck!
244
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:08,900
Oh no! I need a― Oh no!
I need a ladder. Oh shit.
245
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,020
Where's the ladder?
246
00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:13,980
Oh!
247
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,300
(LAUGHTER)
248
00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:22,780
Can you grab a foot?
249
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,180
Oh fuck.
250
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:32,620
Oh! Oh, my quad.
251
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:35,180
Oh, my quad is so sore.
252
00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:36,740
(LAUGHTER)
253
00:12:36,740 --> 00:12:37,980
Oh!
254
00:12:37,980 --> 00:12:39,420
(GROANS)
255
00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:41,340
(GROANS)
256
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:43,340
Can you grab that for me?
257
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,420
(THUD!)
258
00:12:46,340 --> 00:12:48,340
Got that. OK.
259
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,500
(LAUGHTER)
260
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:54,540
Three, two
261
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,540
one.
262
00:12:56,620 --> 00:12:58,620
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
263
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:03,980
(LAUGHS)
264
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:09,780
Can't see it any more.
265
00:13:10,940 --> 00:13:12,940
(LAUGHTER)
266
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:16,580
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
267
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:25,820
- Going beyond there. Up in
the rafters. That was impressive.
- Thank you.
268
00:13:25,820 --> 00:13:29,780
- An impressive builder's crack
as well on the way back down.
(LAUGHTER)
269
00:13:29,780 --> 00:13:31,380
- Thank you, thank you, Mr Jeremy.
270
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:34,500
- Would you say that it floated...
- MATT: No.
- ...down?
271
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:37,300
- It didn't come down.
It's disqualified.
(LAUGHTER)
272
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:42,140
- I did look up the average flight
time for a standard balloon filled
with helium,
273
00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:47,940
and it's about 12 hours. So I've
logged David's time as 12 hours.
- Now, hang on a minute.
274
00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:50,820
What's the time with a Brussels
sprout attached to it, though?
- Yeah.
275
00:13:50,820 --> 00:13:53,460
- How much time do you think
should be knocked off for the
Brussels sprout?
276
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:56,260
- Well, what was mine?
(LAUGHTER)
277
00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:02,220
- We'd have to knock off 11 hours,
59 minutes and 57.5 seconds.
(LAUGHTER)
278
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:04,540
- I'm open to it. I'm open to it.
- Seems fair. Seems fair. Yeah.
279
00:14:04,540 --> 00:14:09,540
- I floated longer going down from
the top of those things than your
things!
280
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,340
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
281
00:14:11,340 --> 00:14:14,100
- Yeah, but you had helium.
We didn't have helium.
- Yeah. Yeah.
282
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:18,140
- Surely, no one's
gonna be able to top 12.
- Who's to say?
283
00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:20,500
Well, I am. I-I was there. I saw it.
(LAUGHTER)
284
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:25,300
But let's watch. Here's
Laura Daniel and Guy Montgomery.
285
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,700
(OBJECTS CLATTER)
286
00:14:28,700 --> 00:14:30,700
(AIR HISSES)
287
00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:36,180
- I need to find something
that floats in the water.
288
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:39,820
Something like this.
- That was quick.
289
00:14:39,940 --> 00:14:43,140
- How powerful is this bad boy?
Let's plug it in and just quickly
see.
290
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:45,140
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS)
291
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:52,060
- Are you―? Are you ready to start?
- I've started.
- OK.
292
00:14:54,580 --> 00:14:56,580
(LAUGHTER)
293
00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:01,180
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS)
294
00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:03,180
(WHIRRING STOPS)
295
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:04,860
- See if it works.
296
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,380
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRRS, CLATTERING,
WHIRRING STOPS)
297
00:15:06,380 --> 00:15:08,380
(LAUGHTER)
298
00:15:08,620 --> 00:15:10,620
(LAUGHS)
299
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:15,980
I'm gonna go with plan B. This is
why we come up with multiple plans
at once.
300
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:17,620
(LAUGHTER)
301
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:20,300
I need to put water in this first.
302
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:23,020
- (POPS LIPS)
303
00:15:23,140 --> 00:15:24,100
(POPS LIPS)
304
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:25,500
- It's good.
305
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,220
I hope this doesn't
back-weight the duck.
306
00:15:28,220 --> 00:15:30,220
- How do boats float?
307
00:15:30,420 --> 00:15:34,020
- I'm not really sure.
- Someone had to figure that out.
308
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,060
- I'm ready to start.
- OK.
309
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:40,740
- I can't burp properly.
They come out as croaks.
- Oh, OK.
310
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:43,380
- Like that.
- Oh wow.
- Yeah.
311
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:46,260
- This is my Brussels sprout float.
312
00:15:46,460 --> 00:15:48,460
It's started.
313
00:15:48,540 --> 00:15:50,540
(LAUGHTER)
314
00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:54,180
- Shall we start our descent?
- OK.
315
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:04,380
- Does it stop when
it touches the ground?
316
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:08,540
- It stops when the Brussels sprout
stops floating.
- Oh!
317
00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:12,740
- What are you thinking?
- I'm thinking of tying it.
318
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:14,980
(LAUGHTER)
319
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,380
Have fun.
- OK.
320
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:22,220
Still floating.
321
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,220
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
322
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:30,580
- MATT: That's smart.
- I hate to say it,
but that's pretty clever.
323
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:32,340
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- That's pretty clever.
324
00:16:32,340 --> 00:16:34,540
- Well, the time
to beat was 12 hours.
- Yeah.
325
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:36,180
- And both of them did.
326
00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:40,820
So, they actually stayed there
floating throughout shooting of
many more tasks.
327
00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:41,740
(LAUGHTER)
328
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:44,420
- Whose Brussels sprout took the
shortest amount of time to get down?
329
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:46,940
- The shortest was Matt.
One point for Matt.
- Thank you.
330
00:16:46,940 --> 00:16:48,380
- Two points for Urzila.
- Yep.
331
00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:54,140
- Three points for David. And four
and five points are still at play.
- Wow. OK.
332
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:56,260
So that's gonna make for
an interesting scoreboard.
How does that work?
333
00:16:56,260 --> 00:17:01,620
- Yes. Currently in second place
with six points is David,
and leading is Urzila with seven.
334
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:04,500
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Thank you.
335
00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:09,780
- OK. Onwards and upwards, then.
We ready for another task?
336
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,700
- I think we are.
- DAVID: Really?!
337
00:17:11,700 --> 00:17:13,380
- What do you mean?
(LAUGHTER)
338
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:16,100
- We're not getting
closure on this?!
(LAUGHTER)
339
00:17:16,100 --> 00:17:20,620
You have no idea. I spent all
of Taskmaster seeing that fuckin'
bucket hanging up there.
340
00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:25,420
That was the first episode! And
I was like, 'There's some shit in
there. There's some shitin there.'
341
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:29,740
We filmed this once a week.
It was there on the fourth week!
(LAUGHTER)
342
00:17:29,740 --> 00:17:34,180
That was so long, Laura!
I'm so proud of you!
(APPLAUSE)
343
00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:36,580
It was such a good way to do it.
344
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:42,220
- I'd just like to take a second
to talk about Guy's new T-shirt.
345
00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:45,740
- That's not you again, is it?
- That is me again, yes.
(LAUGHTER)
346
00:17:45,740 --> 00:17:47,780
It was a―
I think a Tinkerbell dress.
347
00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:50,580
- Aww.
- You're lookin' good, Paul.
- Great pins.
348
00:17:50,580 --> 00:17:53,140
Onwards and upwards.
(LAUGHTER)
349
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,740
I'm ready for another task.
- Sure thing, Jeremy Wells.
(LAUGHTER)
350
00:17:56,740 --> 00:18:00,740
It's time for an extreme makeover,
lab edition.
351
00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:02,940
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
352
00:18:06,980 --> 00:18:08,540
- Hey, Paul.
- Hello, Matt.
353
00:18:08,540 --> 00:18:09,220
- Hey, man.
354
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:13,620
- I like this room. I feel
like this is what it would be like
to be on the inside of a condom.
355
00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:14,900
- (INHALES DEEPLY)
356
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:16,900
Smells good.
357
00:18:17,740 --> 00:18:18,420
- OK.
358
00:18:18,420 --> 00:18:20,020
- READS: 'Transform this room...'
359
00:18:20,020 --> 00:18:21,220
- '...when the lights go out.'
360
00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:23,180
- 'You will have 30 seconds
of darkness.'
361
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:25,020
- 'Most spectacular
transformation wins.'
362
00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:28,020
- 'Your time starts when you say...'
363
00:18:29,180 --> 00:18:30,980
Not gonna say it.
- You can say it.
364
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,860
- I can't say it.
- You can say it.
365
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:34,300
- You're sus. I can't say it.
366
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:35,500
- 'Let there be dark.'
367
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:36,300
- 'Let there be dark.'
368
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:38,300
- 'Let there be dark.'
369
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:39,380
Cool.
370
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:41,380
- Transform this room.
371
00:18:44,740 --> 00:18:46,260
There's nothing in here.
372
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:50,180
- You can bring stuff in.
- Oh, I see. From other places.
373
00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:53,060
- So you have to transform
the room while the lights are out?
- Yes.
374
00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:56,740
- But I can plan it now.
- You can plan it now. Yeah.
You can take your time.
375
00:18:56,740 --> 00:18:59,020
- I want you in the room.
- OK.
376
00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:03,980
- But you won't be wearing that.
- What will I be wearing?
- Depends how many animals weget.
377
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:05,980
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
378
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:10,140
- If there's something that the
last 20 years of television has
taught us
379
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:13,220
it's that there's nothing better
than a good old renovation of a
room.
380
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,620
- That's very true, Jeremy Wells.
Would you like to see one?
- I would love to.
381
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:18,540
- OK. It's Urzila Carlson.
382
00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:23,780
- This is my room transformation.
It's basically what goes on in
the inside of my soul ―
383
00:19:23,780 --> 00:19:29,020
you know, in those quiet
moments when people think about the
mistakes they've made in their life.
384
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:32,300
I think about this.
Turn the lights off.
385
00:19:33,140 --> 00:19:34,940
- WHISPERS:
It's 'Let there be dark'.
386
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,940
- Let there be dark?
387
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:39,140
(MYSTICAL MUSIC)
388
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:41,820
Right.
389
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:43,900
(SULTRY MUSIC)
390
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:44,700
(LAUGHTER)
391
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,700
Oh yeah.
392
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:47,820
Work it, Paul.
393
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,020
Here, let's see if
we can loose you up a bit.
394
00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:52,180
- What is this?
- Loosen-up juice.
395
00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:54,180
Get in there.
396
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:56,780
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
397
00:20:01,220 --> 00:20:03,220
You do it.
398
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:04,780
(LAUGHTER)
399
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:08,460
Oh my God. It's getting whiter.
Look hungry.
400
00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:09,580
(LAUGHTER)
401
00:20:09,580 --> 00:20:13,780
No, that― that's, like, constipated.
No, like...
402
00:20:14,460 --> 00:20:16,460
Like that.
403
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:18,700
(LAUGHTER)
404
00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:23,940
Do you want kids one day, Paul?
- Maybe.
405
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,700
- I don't know if you're
gonna get them, mate.
406
00:20:26,700 --> 00:20:29,500
(LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
407
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:35,020
- At some point, you've gotta
leave this poor boy alone.
(LAUGHTER)
408
00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:39,300
- Paul is just always there,
and that was what's on
the inside of my mind.
409
00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:41,700
- Me pole dancing?
(LAUGHTER)
410
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:45,860
- Weirdly, yes. It keeps me centred
and focused on other shit.
(LAUGHTER)
411
00:20:45,860 --> 00:20:47,700
- How did you feel about that?
412
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:49,780
- He liked it.
(LAUGHTER)
413
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,900
- I guess I liked it.
(LAUGHTER)
414
00:20:54,940 --> 00:20:58,260
- Look at his smile. He loves it.
(LAUGHTER)
415
00:20:58,260 --> 00:21:03,540
- Paul, if you need to get out,
you blink three times.
(LAUGHTER)
416
00:21:04,660 --> 00:21:06,660
(LAUGHTER)
417
00:21:08,860 --> 00:21:11,340
- More beautiful
room renovations await,
418
00:21:11,340 --> 00:21:18,420
but first, transform your life
by watching some inspiring ads.
We'll see you in a bit.
419
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:20,460
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
420
00:21:22,260 --> 00:21:22,300
*
421
00:21:22,460 --> 00:21:24,460
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
422
00:21:24,780 --> 00:21:26,780
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
423
00:21:28,060 --> 00:21:33,700
- Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Who will win a scalding-hot
slice of tomato?
424
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:37,820
We'll soon find out, but right now,
we are renovating rooms, aren't we,
Paul?
425
00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:39,540
- That is correct, Jeremy Wells.
426
00:21:39,540 --> 00:21:45,500
Our contestants have 30 seconds of
darkness to completely transform
the Taskmaster lab.
427
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:49,300
Up next, his name rhymes
with DIY Montgomery.
428
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,820
It's Guy Montgomery.
(LAUGHTER)
429
00:21:52,940 --> 00:21:54,940
- Let there be darkness.
430
00:21:55,260 --> 00:21:57,260
(JAZZY MUSIC)
431
00:21:58,380 --> 00:21:59,700
(WHIMSICAL MUSIC)
432
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:00,900
(LAUGHTER)
433
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:02,900
(CHUCKLES) Oh!
434
00:22:02,980 --> 00:22:05,060
Why, it's a regular farm!
435
00:22:05,180 --> 00:22:07,380
What an incredible transformation.
436
00:22:07,380 --> 00:22:08,700
You gotta moo.
437
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:10,900
- Hello?
- M― You gotta moo.
438
00:22:11,340 --> 00:22:12,260
- Moo.
439
00:22:12,260 --> 00:22:14,260
- Well...
- Moo! Moooo!
440
00:22:14,820 --> 00:22:19,220
- Just another day earning
an honest dollar down here
441
00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:21,700
in rural New Zealand.
442
00:22:22,380 --> 00:22:23,980
(LAUGHTER)
443
00:22:23,980 --> 00:22:27,180
You can take it easy now,
farm animals.
444
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:33,860
- How was that?
- Well, I... You know, pretty good.
445
00:22:33,860 --> 00:22:35,980
It feels different
from what I imagined.
446
00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,980
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
447
00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:43,060
- I mean, we had no idea that that
was a farm until you said, 'This is
just a regular farm.'
448
00:22:43,060 --> 00:22:46,940
(LAUGHTER)
- Yeah, it does pay to say
where you are sometimes.
449
00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:49,300
- You said that it was
different than you imagined.
450
00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:55,020
- Yes. I thought it would feel
a little bit more like a farm.
(LAUGHTER)
451
00:22:55,020 --> 00:23:00,740
- Who have we got next, Paul?
- Well, she can drastically change
a room with nothing but hersmile
452
00:23:00,740 --> 00:23:04,540
and some power tools.
It's Laura Daniel.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
453
00:23:04,540 --> 00:23:06,540
- Let there be dark!
454
00:23:06,660 --> 00:23:09,100
All right,
let's get this party started.
455
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:11,300
(DANCE MUSIC PUMPS)
Whoo!
456
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:14,100
Hit that beat! Yeah!
457
00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:16,620
Whoo-hoo!
458
00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:19,020
Oh yeah! This is a sick party.
459
00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:21,060
(IMITATES AIR HORN)
460
00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:24,100
Ride it. Yeah. Work it, blue man.
461
00:23:24,140 --> 00:23:26,340
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Oh, smoke.
462
00:23:26,860 --> 00:23:28,780
What a transformation.
463
00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:30,380
(WHISTLE TRILLS, MUSIC STOPS)
464
00:23:30,380 --> 00:23:37,660
All right, cool.
Shots on me, everyone. Boop! Boop,
boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop!
465
00:23:37,700 --> 00:23:39,500
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
466
00:23:39,500 --> 00:23:44,140
- There's actually a lot of
impressive stuff going on there,
but DJ Assmaster...
467
00:23:44,140 --> 00:23:46,140
(LAUGHTER)
468
00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:50,260
- I've seen the short film.
It's great.
(LAUGHTER)
469
00:23:50,260 --> 00:23:54,420
- I did also ask for the morph
suits to have the arse cut out.
- Mm.
470
00:23:54,420 --> 00:23:57,860
- But the camera crew
weren't that keen,...
(LAUGHTER)
471
00:23:57,860 --> 00:24:00,820
...seeing as they were in the suits.
(LAUGHTER)
472
00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:03,140
- Should we have a look at
another room reno, Paul?
473
00:24:03,140 --> 00:24:08,420
- Here's the man I like to call
Matt Heath. It's Matt Heath.
(LAUGHTER)
474
00:24:08,420 --> 00:24:15,220
- OK, Taskmaster, you don't like me;
I don't like you; but you are gonna
like this. Let therebe dark!
475
00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:17,220
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
476
00:24:18,620 --> 00:24:20,620
(UPBEAT MUSIC)
477
00:24:22,220 --> 00:24:23,940
Roll up, roll up... (LAUGHS)
478
00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:26,140
for the most fantastic...
479
00:24:28,820 --> 00:24:31,500
most spectacular show on Earth.
480
00:24:32,860 --> 00:24:34,860
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
481
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:37,140
Whoo! Whoo!
482
00:24:37,540 --> 00:24:39,540
Juggle.
483
00:24:39,940 --> 00:24:42,220
Juggle, Paul.
- I'm juggling.
484
00:24:42,220 --> 00:24:44,220
- (BLOWS PARTY HORN)
485
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:46,260
MUFFLED: Spectacular!
486
00:24:46,260 --> 00:24:48,460
Roll up, roll up. (LAUGHS)
487
00:24:48,660 --> 00:24:50,660
(WHIP CRACKS)
Yes!
488
00:24:50,660 --> 00:24:52,660
Whoo!
489
00:24:55,580 --> 00:24:57,580
(CHUCKLES) Bow.
- Oh.
490
00:24:57,700 --> 00:24:59,140
(LAUGHTER)
491
00:24:59,140 --> 00:25:01,140
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
492
00:25:02,460 --> 00:25:03,900
- Talk us through
your thinking there.
493
00:25:03,900 --> 00:25:05,700
- Well, you said you could juggle,
but you didn't.
494
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:08,980
- Him not juggling was
the least problematic thing.
(LAUGHTER)
495
00:25:08,980 --> 00:25:12,220
And, Matt, to be fair― I mean,
what had that elephant done to you?
(LAUGHTER)
496
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:17,540
- Oh, I was wrangling it. I was
trying to get it to do something.
I was on the trapeze.
497
00:25:17,540 --> 00:25:20,140
- That's box swing.
(LAUGHTER)
498
00:25:20,380 --> 00:25:21,620
- I do wanna apologise to Matt,
499
00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:26,900
cos I feel
like my poor juggling ruined what
would've otherwise been perfect.
500
00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:28,900
(LAUGHTER)
- Yeah.
501
00:25:30,380 --> 00:25:32,780
- Yeah, as I say, pretty happy with
that, so I'm looking forward to the
points.
502
00:25:32,780 --> 00:25:34,140
(LAUGHTER)
503
00:25:34,140 --> 00:25:35,740
- I think there's one more,
is there?
504
00:25:35,740 --> 00:25:38,900
- There is one more.
It's David Correos.
505
00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:45,780
- READS: The most spectacular
transformation wins. Your time
starts when you say...
506
00:25:45,780 --> 00:25:47,740
(SNAPS FINGERS) OK.
507
00:25:47,740 --> 00:25:51,180
Can I say that last line,
or will it start instantly
if I say that last line?
508
00:25:51,180 --> 00:25:52,740
- You can say it now.
- I can say it now?
509
00:25:52,740 --> 00:25:54,740
- You can say it now
as part of the task.
510
00:25:54,740 --> 00:25:56,620
- Oh, OK. Cool, cool, cool.
- Yep.
511
00:25:56,620 --> 00:25:59,980
- READS: Your time starts when
you say, 'Let there be dark.'
512
00:25:59,980 --> 00:26:02,380
No! I fuckin'― No, you did it!
513
00:26:02,660 --> 00:26:04,660
You goddam...
514
00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:08,980
did it! You did it! You did it!
I told you not to do it.
515
00:26:13,260 --> 00:26:15,260
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
516
00:26:19,780 --> 00:26:21,780
(CHEERING)
517
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:32,300
(LAUGHS) Didn't get enough time. I
was― I didn't wanna revert to this,
but you made me revertto this.
518
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:34,820
- That was genuinely a mistake.
- No, it wasn't.
519
00:26:34,820 --> 00:26:39,980
- You're allowed to say it once.
I didn't... obviously explain that
well enough to the lighting guy.
520
00:26:39,980 --> 00:26:41,980
(LAUGHTER)
521
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:46,620
- OK. Can that count?
Can that count as my thing?
- Yeah.
522
00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:48,620
- LAUGHS: OK, sweet.
523
00:26:48,660 --> 00:26:50,540
(LAUGHTER)
524
00:26:50,540 --> 00:26:53,700
- Are you happy with that?
- This is all I got. You tricked me.
525
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:57,460
- I mean to say the room
is quite different.
- It is quite (LAUGHS) different.
526
00:26:57,460 --> 00:26:59,660
- It feels very different.
527
00:27:01,260 --> 00:27:05,940
Shall we turn the lights back out?
- LAUGHS: Yes, please.
528
00:27:06,060 --> 00:27:08,060
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
529
00:27:12,180 --> 00:27:15,220
- Something strange happened there,
didn't it? On a number of levels.
530
00:27:15,220 --> 00:27:21,820
- It genuinely was not meant to be
a stitch-up. Also, he actually had
less than half the timein the dark.
531
00:27:21,820 --> 00:27:25,900
He got naked in
just under 12 seconds.
(LAUGHTER)
532
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:28,100
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
533
00:27:31,420 --> 00:27:34,980
- This is tricky to score.
I feel like David gets one.
534
00:27:34,980 --> 00:27:36,980
(AUDIENCE BOOS)
I know.
535
00:27:38,140 --> 00:27:41,740
It was potentially
the least spectacular,
and that's saying something.
536
00:27:41,740 --> 00:27:44,940
- It changed the vibe in the room.
(LAUGHTER)
537
00:27:44,940 --> 00:27:47,300
- It felt very different.
- I heard that.
538
00:27:47,300 --> 00:27:50,700
- It was one of those things where
you had to be there to really feel
it.
539
00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:52,980
- I got a pretty clear idea.
(LAUGHTER)
540
00:27:52,980 --> 00:27:57,020
- I think we all did.
- What I caught up there was
a moment. TV's about moments.
541
00:27:57,020 --> 00:28:00,380
(LAUGHTER)
So why the fuck would
I rob them of that moment?
542
00:28:00,380 --> 00:28:02,100
(LAUGHTER)
543
00:28:02,100 --> 00:28:06,620
- I mean, I'm competitive, and
I'm out there for the points, but he
makes a pretty compellingargument.
544
00:28:06,620 --> 00:28:09,860
- Laura, I thought that yours
was actually the most spectacular.
- Oh!
545
00:28:09,860 --> 00:28:13,300
- But seeing as you think that David
has been hard done by, I'm happy to
reverse it.
546
00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:15,380
- (STAMMERS)
(LAUGHTER)
547
00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:19,860
- If you feel like you need to give
him your points, you're more than
welcome at this moment.
548
00:28:19,860 --> 00:28:21,940
- (STAMMERS)
(LAUGHTER)
549
00:28:22,340 --> 00:28:23,980
- Two points for you, Matt.
- MATT: What?
550
00:28:23,980 --> 00:28:27,340
- Yeah, I gotta work with you.
That was not good.
- That was spectacular!
551
00:28:27,340 --> 00:28:32,060
- And then I think Guy with three,
Urzila with four cos I kinda feel
sorry for Paul,
552
00:28:32,060 --> 00:28:34,900
and then I think five,
but you're more than happy
to give them to David.
553
00:28:34,900 --> 00:28:38,500
- I mean, it was your decision,
so we just... (STAMMERS)
(LAUGHTER
554
00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:41,300
- Yeah, yeah.
- LAUGHS: Well, at the time...
555
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:43,780
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Yeah.
556
00:28:43,940 --> 00:28:46,140
- I cannot get
enough of these tasks.
557
00:28:46,140 --> 00:28:52,420
The good news is there
are a bunch more coming up
right after these messages.
558
00:28:52,540 --> 00:28:54,540
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
559
00:28:56,300 --> 00:28:56,340
*
560
00:28:56,460 --> 00:28:58,460
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
561
00:28:58,700 --> 00:29:00,700
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
562
00:29:01,100 --> 00:29:02,340
- Welcome back to Taskmaster,
563
00:29:02,340 --> 00:29:08,300
the show where people are taking off
their clothes to win a picture of me
with my clothesoff.
564
00:29:08,300 --> 00:29:11,740
Paul, I believe you have another
one of your beloved tasks for me.
565
00:29:11,740 --> 00:29:16,300
- I sure do, Jeremy Wells.
And this one has all the components
of a classic task ―
566
00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:21,380
a fake Greek-style plinth and
a 1-litre bottle of sunscreen.
567
00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:23,460
(INTRIGUING MUSIC)
568
00:29:31,340 --> 00:29:34,180
- Do I need to pick this up?
- You don't have to.
569
00:29:34,180 --> 00:29:36,180
(LAUGHTER)
570
00:29:37,580 --> 00:29:38,740
- Hello, Paul.
571
00:29:38,740 --> 00:29:39,940
- Morning.
572
00:29:39,940 --> 00:29:42,180
- How are you?
- Good, thank you.
573
00:29:42,180 --> 00:29:44,300
- Oh, this isn't part
of the task, is it?
- No.
574
00:29:44,300 --> 00:29:47,300
- This has got trash in it.
Can't be too safe.
575
00:29:47,300 --> 00:29:49,300
(LAUGHTER)
576
00:29:50,260 --> 00:29:52,700
- READS: 'Squirt the sunscreen
the furthest.'
577
00:29:52,700 --> 00:29:56,580
- 'You have one attempt.
Your time starts now.'
578
00:29:56,580 --> 00:30:01,140
- How much time?
- As much as you need
to get a good squirt.
579
00:30:01,140 --> 00:30:04,700
Please squirt it from the pillar.
And you can't move the pillar.
580
00:30:04,700 --> 00:30:07,260
- Doesn't seem
especially time-sensitive.
581
00:30:07,260 --> 00:30:09,260
(APPLAUSE)
582
00:30:09,860 --> 00:30:15,500
- Now, Paul, I couldn't help but
notice that David picked up a pot.
- That is correct.
583
00:30:15,500 --> 00:30:19,060
David did pick up Guy's pot
with his Brussels sprout.
584
00:30:19,060 --> 00:30:24,700
However, for all we know,
it is currently still floating
in a small teacup boat.
585
00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:26,780
- OK, that's very foreboding.
(LAUGHTER)
586
00:30:26,780 --> 00:30:30,300
I am, however, extremely intrigued
to see some sunblock get squirted,
587
00:30:30,300 --> 00:30:32,460
so let's focus on that
for the meantime.
588
00:30:32,460 --> 00:30:38,580
- Let's start with Matt and Guy
Mont... (SINGS) '...gomery'. OK.
(LAUGHTER)
589
00:30:38,580 --> 00:30:41,180
- It's just some sunscreen, right?
- Yeah.
590
00:30:41,180 --> 00:30:45,220
- So I could dilute the sunscreen
a little bit to make more squirty.
- Possibly, yeah.
591
00:30:45,220 --> 00:30:50,700
- Do I get a clearance squirt?
- As long as your one squirt
is on here.
592
00:30:52,540 --> 00:30:53,780
(LAUGHTER)
593
00:30:53,780 --> 00:30:59,660
- But I can do a squirt this way?
- As long as it doesn't get on the
plastic.
594
00:31:00,140 --> 00:31:02,220
- That's not a squirt yet.
595
00:31:02,460 --> 00:31:05,460
Was it?
- Did that squirt?
- Nah, that splashed.
596
00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:09,060
- I'm just looking at
the definition of 'squirt'.
- OK.
597
00:31:09,060 --> 00:31:10,380
- Oh no!
598
00:31:10,380 --> 00:31:11,740
(LAUGHTER)
599
00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:13,580
- Squirt.
600
00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:14,860
Spurt?
601
00:31:14,860 --> 00:31:15,980
Splash.
602
00:31:15,980 --> 00:31:17,980
- Is splash in there?
603
00:31:19,540 --> 00:31:21,420
Oh. That's damning.
604
00:31:21,420 --> 00:31:23,420
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
605
00:31:23,540 --> 00:31:26,420
- You happy with that?
- Not overly.
606
00:31:26,460 --> 00:31:28,860
- 31cm.
- I'm happy with that.
607
00:31:29,340 --> 00:31:31,340
- 1.09m.
608
00:31:31,380 --> 00:31:32,980
- (SIGHS)
609
00:31:32,980 --> 00:31:36,220
- I-I think it's gonna be hard
to do less than 30cm for anyone.
610
00:31:36,220 --> 00:31:37,620
- OK.
- Yeah.
611
00:31:37,620 --> 00:31:40,100
- You know what they say, Paul.
612
00:31:40,660 --> 00:31:42,660
- What do they say?
613
00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:44,980
- Fuck.
614
00:31:44,980 --> 00:31:46,980
(LAUGHTER)
615
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:49,100
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
616
00:31:51,460 --> 00:31:53,420
- So, Matt had 31cm.
617
00:31:53,860 --> 00:31:55,420
And Guy had 1.09m.
618
00:31:55,420 --> 00:31:57,500
- Guy was going for
a clearance squirt.
619
00:31:57,500 --> 00:32:01,660
But all you needed to do was take
the sunscreen away from the plinth.
620
00:32:01,660 --> 00:32:05,740
- Oh, what an incredible idea,
Jeremy.
(LAUGHTER)
621
00:32:05,740 --> 00:32:08,860
Look, obviously, I'm not happy
with it. It was a disaster.
(LAUGHTER)
622
00:32:08,860 --> 00:32:13,820
- Well, it was better than Matt's.
- Yeah, but mine― mine wasn't any―
mine― I didn't even doanything.
623
00:32:13,820 --> 00:32:17,180
I was just getting it ready.
- That's a different type
of clearance squirt.
624
00:32:18,580 --> 00:32:19,780
(LAUGHTER)
- I didn't mean for it to go.
625
00:32:19,780 --> 00:32:24,980
- No one evermeansfor
that to happen; it just does.
(LAUGHTER)
626
00:32:25,060 --> 00:32:28,740
- Let's roll straight
into another one.
- OK. Here's Laura Daniel.
627
00:32:28,740 --> 00:32:30,740
- Um...
628
00:32:31,060 --> 00:32:32,420
Something heavy.
629
00:32:32,420 --> 00:32:34,420
Real force.
630
00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:36,420
This little hand thing.
631
00:32:36,820 --> 00:32:38,820
(UPBEAT ACTION MUSIC)
632
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:44,900
OK, ready?
633
00:32:45,820 --> 00:32:48,020
- Yup.
- Do you wanna give me a countdown?
634
00:32:48,020 --> 00:32:51,900
- When do you want
the countdown to start from?
- Three.
635
00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:53,500
- OK.
636
00:32:53,500 --> 00:32:55,900
- I'll count you down,
and then you count me down.
- OK.
637
00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:57,900
- Three, two, one.
638
00:32:57,940 --> 00:32:59,940
- Three, two,
639
00:33:00,060 --> 00:33:01,740
one.
640
00:33:01,740 --> 00:33:03,740
(LAUGHTER)
641
00:33:17,620 --> 00:33:19,700
- There's a dot there.
- Yeah.
642
00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:24,380
On to the bit of plastic.
- Yo! Yo! Yo! Can I get a close-up?
643
00:33:25,060 --> 00:33:27,060
What do you call that?
644
00:33:27,900 --> 00:33:33,100
- Sunscreen. Some sunscreen
has ridden this piece of plastic.
645
00:33:33,340 --> 00:33:36,140
(UPBEAT ACTION MUSIC CONTINUES)
646
00:33:37,660 --> 00:33:39,660
2.39m.
647
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:43,700
- Yeah, baby. Come on.
648
00:33:44,180 --> 00:33:45,060
Ye-yeah.
649
00:33:45,060 --> 00:33:47,860
- Do you think
anyone's gonna beat that?
- Nope.
650
00:33:47,860 --> 00:33:49,340
(LAUGHTER)
651
00:33:49,340 --> 00:33:51,100
Maybe if they got a metal mug.
652
00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:52,100
(LAUGHTER)
653
00:33:52,100 --> 00:33:53,300
Maybe.
654
00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:55,300
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
655
00:33:59,020 --> 00:34:02,820
- So, you went away
and got something big and heavy.
You came back with a plastic cup.
656
00:34:02,820 --> 00:34:04,260
(LAUGHTER)
657
00:34:04,260 --> 00:34:08,740
- It was, like, in a, like, picnic
basket that looked like one of those
camping mugs that wasaluminium.
658
00:34:08,740 --> 00:34:10,260
(LAUGHTER)
659
00:34:10,260 --> 00:34:16,940
- You did OK in the end.
- Yes, so a tiny speck on sunscreen
rode a broken piece of themug
660
00:34:16,940 --> 00:34:19,940
and flew on to the tarpaulin. 2.39m.
661
00:34:20,460 --> 00:34:24,740
- So far,
Laura's been the best squirter.
- URZILA: Yes! Yeah.
662
00:34:24,740 --> 00:34:25,740
(LAUGHTER)
663
00:34:25,740 --> 00:34:31,340
- Who else have we got, Paul?
- Yet another solo effort
this time from David Correos.
664
00:34:31,340 --> 00:34:36,300
- Am I allowed to mix it
with other stuff inside here?
- I reckon.
665
00:34:36,300 --> 00:34:38,060
- Fuck yes.
666
00:34:38,060 --> 00:34:40,060
I got this.
667
00:34:40,220 --> 00:34:41,620
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
668
00:34:41,620 --> 00:34:43,180
(LAUGHTER)
669
00:34:43,180 --> 00:34:44,660
This is fun.
670
00:34:44,660 --> 00:34:46,660
I also need a knife.
671
00:34:46,940 --> 00:34:49,140
(QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES)
672
00:35:00,140 --> 00:35:02,140
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
673
00:35:08,020 --> 00:35:10,020
(LAUGHTER)
674
00:35:10,500 --> 00:35:12,500
(APPLAUSE)
675
00:35:13,620 --> 00:35:17,460
What do you think, Paul?
- I think it's ready.
- I think it's ready, eh.
676
00:35:17,460 --> 00:35:19,940
Sweet as. I'm excited.
- Yeah.
677
00:35:20,580 --> 00:35:22,580
- (BLOWS)
678
00:35:24,900 --> 00:35:28,300
- So, what are you doing here?
- I'm diluting it.
679
00:35:28,300 --> 00:35:30,300
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
680
00:35:30,620 --> 00:35:32,620
(GRUNTS)
681
00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:38,020
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
682
00:35:38,020 --> 00:35:40,420
Still terrible. Still thick.
683
00:35:40,420 --> 00:35:45,300
- Just don't squirt any on to the...
- Yeah, I'll try not to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
684
00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:46,060
(AUDIENCE GROANS)
685
00:35:46,060 --> 00:35:48,940
- So, are you kinda drinking that?
- Mm.
686
00:35:48,940 --> 00:35:50,940
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
687
00:35:55,340 --> 00:35:57,140
That didn't squirt!
688
00:35:57,140 --> 00:36:00,620
No, that did not squirt.
That was my mouth.
689
00:36:01,060 --> 00:36:02,340
- How did it come out of your mouth?
690
00:36:02,340 --> 00:36:04,100
- Kinda...
(IMITATES SPITTING LOUDLY)
691
00:36:04,100 --> 00:36:05,460
(SIGHS)
692
00:36:05,460 --> 00:36:09,380
Oh, fuck, are you serious?
Can we get a playback?
693
00:36:09,380 --> 00:36:14,420
- Well, uh, yeah, we filmed it,
but it definitely looked like it
just squirted out of your mouth.
694
00:36:14,420 --> 00:36:16,420
(LAUGHTER)
695
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:19,420
- ROARS: Oh!
696
00:36:20,300 --> 00:36:22,300
(ROARS)
697
00:36:23,100 --> 00:36:25,100
(ROARS)
698
00:36:25,420 --> 00:36:27,420
GROANS LOUDLY: Oh!
699
00:36:29,140 --> 00:36:30,740
- 1.27m.
700
00:36:30,740 --> 00:36:32,740
(LAUGHTER)
701
00:36:35,460 --> 00:36:38,340
- I feel so hollow inside right now.
702
00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:40,500
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
703
00:36:45,580 --> 00:36:49,180
So I was gonna squirt it on to
the top. It was gonna be like
a hydroslide.
704
00:36:49,180 --> 00:36:52,740
- He tested it multiple times
with water, and the water was
going quite far.
705
00:36:52,740 --> 00:36:53,780
- Right.
- It was working!
706
00:36:53,780 --> 00:36:57,260
- Did you let him
have a go afterwards?
- No.
707
00:36:57,500 --> 00:37:03,300
- Despite his clear pain,
he actually did manage a
respectable 1.27m,
708
00:37:03,580 --> 00:37:08,820
which puts him ahead
of both Guy and Matt.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
709
00:37:08,820 --> 00:37:12,580
- Um, I saw him muckin' around
with a pot.
(LAUGHTER)
710
00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:15,660
- Yes.
- Didn't look especially relevant
to the noodle thing.
711
00:37:15,660 --> 00:37:19,860
- So, David did fling
a Brussels sprout out of a pot.
712
00:37:20,220 --> 00:37:25,860
At this point, it had been
floating for three days,
22 hours and 27 minutes.
713
00:37:25,860 --> 00:37:28,500
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
- Pretty long.
714
00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:29,500
- And what about Laura's?
715
00:37:29,500 --> 00:37:36,180
- Well, Laura's remained floating
for the rest of the shoot and is
currently still floating today.
716
00:37:36,180 --> 00:37:41,860
(LAUGHTER)
So Laura remains in the lead at
74 days, three hours and 48 minutes.
717
00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:43,860
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
718
00:37:44,620 --> 00:37:49,020
Four points to Guy.
Five points to Laura.
(APPLAUSE)
719
00:37:50,220 --> 00:37:53,380
- Sorry.
- It's all good. I'm sorry
about what happened to you.
720
00:37:53,380 --> 00:37:56,020
(LAUGHTER)
That sunscreen stuff,
that was a disaster.
721
00:37:56,020 --> 00:37:57,620
(LAUGHTER)
722
00:37:57,620 --> 00:38:02,700
- Now that that's done and dusted,
Laura, you have the longest
sunscreen so far.
723
00:38:02,700 --> 00:38:06,980
Have we got anyone left?
- We have one person left ―
the wonderful Urzila Carlson.
724
00:38:06,980 --> 00:38:08,660
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
725
00:38:08,660 --> 00:38:10,540
- For one go?
- Yeah.
726
00:38:10,540 --> 00:38:13,540
- And it has to be on here?
- Yeah.
- OK.
727
00:38:15,020 --> 00:38:16,780
(LAUGHTER)
728
00:38:16,780 --> 00:38:18,620
- 6.12m.
729
00:38:18,620 --> 00:38:20,620
- Personal best.
730
00:38:20,660 --> 00:38:22,660
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
731
00:38:23,180 --> 00:38:25,180
- Thank you, Urzila.
732
00:38:25,180 --> 00:38:29,660
- If you need me to bash
anything else, I'm here for ya.
- OK.
733
00:38:29,660 --> 00:38:31,660
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
734
00:38:34,180 --> 00:38:37,460
- There's a lesson here for
everyone ― sometimes the key
is not fucking around.
735
00:38:37,460 --> 00:38:39,460
(LAUGHTER)
736
00:38:39,620 --> 00:38:42,860
- It was a hot day. I tried to get
the camera crew out of the sun.
737
00:38:42,860 --> 00:38:46,220
There was only the one bottle
of sunscreen, and we're like,
'Let's fuckin' go, boys.'
738
00:38:46,220 --> 00:38:47,420
(LAUGHTER)
739
00:38:47,420 --> 00:38:52,420
- So clear winner, clearly.
- A clear winner with 6m and 12 cm.
740
00:38:52,940 --> 00:38:55,940
- There we go.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
741
00:38:56,420 --> 00:38:59,900
- So, one point for Matt. Two points
for Guy. Three points for David.
742
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:05,980
Four points for Laura.
And five points for Urzila.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
743
00:39:05,980 --> 00:39:10,140
- But wait ― there's another task
which is coming up after the break.
744
00:39:10,140 --> 00:39:14,020
We'll see you very soon.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
745
00:39:17,260 --> 00:39:17,300
*
746
00:39:17,340 --> 00:39:19,340
(QUIRKY MUSIC)
747
00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:21,940
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
748
00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:25,380
- Welcome back.
It's the final part of Taskmaster.
749
00:39:25,380 --> 00:39:30,900
There's a David Correos mask smeared
in Deep Heat to be won, and tensions
could not be higher.
750
00:39:30,900 --> 00:39:33,380
Paul, a score update, please.
751
00:39:33,420 --> 00:39:38,820
- Currently, it's a tie. Both on
16 points, it's Laura and Urzila.
752
00:39:38,860 --> 00:39:41,180
- AUDIENCE: Ooh!
- Boss girl.
753
00:39:41,180 --> 00:39:45,300
- All right, enough numbers.
Let's head to the stage for
the final task of the show.
754
00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:47,300
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
755
00:39:48,460 --> 00:39:51,500
This, Paul, is a live task
very dear to my heart,
756
00:39:51,500 --> 00:39:54,100
so please choose someone dear
to my heart to read it out.
757
00:39:54,100 --> 00:40:00,260
- Let's go with the person who is
physically closest to your heart,
Urzila Carlson.
758
00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:02,260
- There we go, Dubs. Hey?
759
00:40:03,220 --> 00:40:08,380
OK. (READS) 'Using your electric
toothbrushes, paint a portrait of
Jeremy's mother.
760
00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:15,580
'You have 200 seconds during which
Jeremy will describe his mother.
Most beautiful portraitwins.'
761
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:20,020
- So you guys can paint
the portrait, and I'll just give
you descriptions as we go.
762
00:40:20,020 --> 00:40:22,180
- Both toothbrushes must be on.
(TOOTHBRUSHES WHIRR)
763
00:40:22,180 --> 00:40:24,380
Artists ready?
- ALL: Yes.
764
00:40:24,780 --> 00:40:25,660
- (BLOWS WHISTLE)
765
00:40:25,660 --> 00:40:28,740
- My mother is a beautiful woman
of 78.
766
00:40:29,340 --> 00:40:31,980
But she looks much
younger than that.
767
00:40:31,980 --> 00:40:34,380
She is simultaneously sweet
768
00:40:35,140 --> 00:40:37,140
and stern.
(LAUGHTER)
769
00:40:38,740 --> 00:40:43,860
She gave birth breech to two
9-pound babies in the 1970s.
- URZILA: Oh wow.
770
00:40:43,860 --> 00:40:45,940
- Vaginally.
(LAUGHTER)
771
00:40:47,420 --> 00:40:51,700
She played goal defence for the
Auckland netball team in the 1960s.
772
00:40:51,700 --> 00:40:54,380
- So she's a lesbian?
(LAUGHTER)
773
00:40:55,740 --> 00:41:00,460
Did she cry black tears at
any point during your life?
(LAUGHTER)
774
00:41:00,460 --> 00:41:01,980
- 40 seconds left.
775
00:41:01,980 --> 00:41:04,340
- She wears a size 8½ shoe.
776
00:41:07,420 --> 00:41:09,180
- 20 seconds.
777
00:41:09,180 --> 00:41:12,380
- Her favourite food
is ginger crunch.
778
00:41:12,620 --> 00:41:14,180
- (LAUGHS)
779
00:41:14,180 --> 00:41:16,180
- Eight seconds.
780
00:41:17,060 --> 00:41:19,260
- She hates me.
(LAUGHTER)
781
00:41:19,420 --> 00:41:21,220
- (BLOWS WHISTLE)
782
00:41:21,220 --> 00:41:23,420
Brushes down.
(APPLAUSE)
783
00:41:24,700 --> 00:41:28,340
OK. Jeremy, whose portrait
would you like to see first?
784
00:41:28,340 --> 00:41:30,340
- Urzila.
- Oh, Jeremy.
785
00:41:30,500 --> 00:41:31,780
(LAUGHTER)
786
00:41:31,780 --> 00:41:33,780
- (LAUGHS)
787
00:41:34,860 --> 00:41:37,140
- I think I really
captured your mother.
788
00:41:37,140 --> 00:41:39,140
- (LAURA LAUGHS)
789
00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:42,180
- As you can see,
she's a strong woman.
790
00:41:42,180 --> 00:41:45,180
Beautiful, soulful eyes.
(LAUGHTER)
791
00:41:45,180 --> 00:41:49,180
I think it would really capture her
a bit more if I knew her name.
- Sheryl.
792
00:41:49,180 --> 00:41:52,140
- Yeah. This looks like a Sheryl.
Hard out.
(LAUGHTER)
793
00:41:52,140 --> 00:41:57,940
Is she a West Auckland woman?
Cos I've seen this one at Countdown.
(LAUGHTER)
794
00:41:57,940 --> 00:42:00,740
- OK, Matt.
- OK, this is my Sheryl.
795
00:42:01,700 --> 00:42:03,460
(LAUGHTER)
796
00:42:03,460 --> 00:42:07,340
There's been a bit of run― running.
(LAUGHTER)
797
00:42:08,540 --> 00:42:10,540
- OK, Laura.
798
00:42:11,940 --> 00:42:13,940
- Yeah. Hear that?
- Oh.
799
00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:16,380
- Amazement. (CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHTER)
800
00:42:16,380 --> 00:42:19,780
- OK. That's nice.
I think that's quite lovely.
- Yeah.
801
00:42:19,780 --> 00:42:21,740
- OK. I look forward
to seeing Guy's.
802
00:42:21,740 --> 00:42:26,420
- Thanks, Jeremy. I look forward
to sharing it with you.
(LAUGHTER)
803
00:42:26,420 --> 00:42:28,860
So, at the end,
I was going to write 'smart',
804
00:42:28,860 --> 00:42:33,460
but Paul blew his little whistle,
so instead I've got an acronym.
805
00:42:33,460 --> 00:42:34,740
Sheryl.
806
00:42:34,740 --> 00:42:35,900
Mum.
807
00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:38,580
Awesome.
(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)
808
00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:43,300
- David.
- DAVID: Hello.
809
00:42:43,860 --> 00:42:46,340
(LAUGHTER)
- Oh!
- LAURA: Ooh!
810
00:42:46,460 --> 00:42:50,700
- I tried to capture her age
with a little bit of, like,
the neck coming forward,
811
00:42:50,700 --> 00:42:54,540
looking like she's lived.
And then I drew some nana pants.
812
00:42:54,540 --> 00:42:58,420
- It's not a bad effort. All right.
Everyone come down, and let's judge
them.
813
00:42:58,420 --> 00:43:00,420
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
814
00:43:03,740 --> 00:43:08,900
Welcome back. Some of
those portraits were brilliant;
some were absolutely terrifying.
815
00:43:08,900 --> 00:43:13,820
I may as well start at the bottom.
Urzila, one point for you.
(LAUGHTER)
816
00:43:13,820 --> 00:43:16,780
Matt,...
- Mm-hm.
- ...yours was also terrifying.
817
00:43:16,780 --> 00:43:20,980
You had the issues with the running
down as well, so two for you, Matt.
- Oh!
818
00:43:20,980 --> 00:43:25,460
- David, yours looked a little
bit too much like me and was a
bit terrifying for me,
819
00:43:25,460 --> 00:43:28,180
but still a good picture,
but three points for you.
820
00:43:28,180 --> 00:43:31,660
And then, Guy, yours and Laura's
were both lovely, actually.
821
00:43:31,660 --> 00:43:36,940
I'm gonna go with Laura
just because of the love hearts. So
Laura gets five. Guy, you getfour.
822
00:43:36,940 --> 00:43:38,580
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
823
00:43:38,580 --> 00:43:45,060
- Which means that the winner for
tonight's episode with a whopping
21 points ―
824
00:43:45,340 --> 00:43:47,540
Laura Daniel.
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
825
00:43:47,540 --> 00:43:52,780
- Congratulations, Laura Daniel.
Head up and collect your hot things,
826
00:43:52,780 --> 00:43:57,820
and please be careful with that
tomato slice, cos I'm sure that
is super-hot.
827
00:43:57,820 --> 00:44:00,700
It's been a night
of human achievement.
828
00:44:00,700 --> 00:44:03,860
We've seen a Brussels sprout
practically enter space.
829
00:44:03,860 --> 00:44:07,820
We sent some sunscreen
about 30cm across a tarpaulin.
830
00:44:07,820 --> 00:44:12,540
And most important, we sent Laura
Daniel to the winner's podium for
episode two.
831
00:44:12,540 --> 00:44:18,380
Thank you for watching, and we'll
see you at the same time next week.
Goodnight.
832
00:44:18,380 --> 00:44:21,980
- It's frozen. It's cold.
- (URZILA LAUGHS)
833
00:44:22,020 --> 00:44:24,620
- Don't put that on.
- No, no, no!
834
00:44:25,260 --> 00:44:27,260
No!
(LAUGHTER)
835
00:44:28,020 --> 00:44:30,020
(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)
836
00:44:33,300 --> 00:44:33,980
- Sup?
837
00:44:33,980 --> 00:44:34,900
- Gidday.
838
00:44:34,900 --> 00:44:37,380
- I only nut once, never twice.
839
00:44:40,500 --> 00:44:41,220
- (GRUNTS)
840
00:44:41,220 --> 00:44:42,620
(GROANS)
841
00:44:42,620 --> 00:44:47,240
- You have gone towaytoo
much effort there for that.
(LAUGHTER)
63346
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