Original subtitles

Champagne, so bubbly.

Champagne, so lovely.

Sparkling like pearl in the sea.

One sip and you can feel your heart soaring.

A trip you'll never find one bit boring.

Just like the bluest sky by far.

The ultra high, you are so much in demand.

And the champagne, you color the days with sunshine.

Champagne, the pleasure is mine.

That was a great commercial, Champagne.

Now, if all of you will adjourn to the conference room for a short meeting and

very important announcement. Please.

in the company.

Well,

I see we have a quorum present, so the

meeting will come to order.

Champagne, I'll say it again, that was a beautiful, beautiful commercial.

An award winner.

Thank you.

By the way, when will this be shown?

Six weeks, I hear.

Six weeks, nice.

Now, I have something I want to get rid of and say quickly.

The Britain Cosmetic Company now has a new vice president in charge of

merchandising.

And that vice president is champagne.

Wonderful.

So there's no further ado. Dismissed.

Good night.

Have a nice weekend.

Good night. Thank you.

Well, Vice President, how does it feel?

Well, I'm on top of the world, of course.

And a little tired.

Like winning the contest when the contest is over.

You understand.

I'm vice president because I'm the boss's daughter. But I do my job.

Vice presidents have power.

I suppose.

You know how men have always used women for sex.

Well, now women can do the same thing.

Stay there.

Right here.

This is Eric Steiger, Grafton Chemicals. I'd like you to meet Champagne, vice

president in charge of merchandising.

My pleasure, Champagne.

How do you do?

As you know, we spend millions of dollars in chemicals each year. And up

Grafton has been quite satisfactory.

But other companies want our business.

Eric would do anything to get us to sign with him again, wouldn't you, Eric?

Well, I don't know about... What would you do to get my signature on your

contract? Christ's sake, Peggy.

What are you doing?

Trying to teach you something.

I'm leaving.

Sit down.

You see?

I want him, but I don't know if he wants me or the contract.

You see what power can do for you?

Come on, love.

You're kidding.

I'm not kidding.

I want it here and now.

I don't believe this.

You know you want to see if he will.

God damn it, Peggy.

You see?

He really does love me after all.

Vice presidents have all the fun.

Some men want something.

You can get what you want in return.

People are going to look at you differently now.

Treat you with respect.

You've worked for it.

Oh, you deserve it.

Come on.

Give it to me.

Just like the last time.

Thank you.

Oh, I love your tongue.

I'm sure you can make me come again.

I want you on top of me, baby.

Peggy.

Why'd you humiliate me, Peggy?

Why'd you do it?

Don't know why

Please?

Oh, baby.

Oh,

your

tongue tastes so good.

Thank you.

Got to open some windows so we'll see an air in here. What?

Got to open some windows, get some light and air in here.

There aren't any windows.

Well, I'm here like the agency said.

Clean jacket, jersey that shows I'm athletic.

You come about the bouncer job?

Yeah. Well, what makes you think you're a bouncer?

I was North Atlantic boxing champion, U .S. Navy.

Boxing rules don't apply here.

For $3 .50 a week, you make your own rules.

That is the sound of it.

$50 to start?

That's right.

I'm the manager. Do you smoke?

No, ma 'am.

Drink?

Very little.

Would you mind taking off your jacket?

I stay away from all white bread.

Sugar.

I take a lot of vitamins and bran and yogurt.

And you can count on me for the truth.

I got told the guy with the ice.

I was North Atlantic boxing champion, U .S. Navy.

Honorable discharge?

I'm afraid of no man.

Excuse me, the agency said... $350 a week.

Do you mind if I sit down?

Tell me everything about yourself.

My name is Harry Davenport. What's yours?

Cherie.

Cherie.

Cherie.

I knew a girl from Naples once named Starla.

Liked the song.

But Cherie, Cherie, that's the most beautiful of all.

Let's forget about this job anyway.

I'm more interested in what you're going to be doing for the next three days.

Cherie, I think you just knocked out a boxing champion.

I tell you what, let me pick you up after work.

And we go out for a few laughs, and then I can take you home.

Wait, it seems someone's coming.

Something's contagious.

What?

Something's contagious. She's just trying out her new act. She won't bother

No? No.

It's okay.

Are you that hot?

Jesus.

Look at that.

You don't do things like that, do you?

I'm glad.

You shouldn't work in a place like this. It's not good.

Come away with me. I'll take you home.

Follow me.

Come on in, Harry.

Take your

pants

off, Harry.

I'm ready for you, Harry.

Give me champagne, Harry.

What? Give me champagne, Harry.

Okay. I'll go away.

Bye.

I'm sorry.

Oh.

What are you doing? What the hell is this?

Wait a minute.

I know. I understand.

I understand.

I get it. Hey, what are you doing?

I get it.

Don't do that.

A couple of lesbians.

Lesbians. Do you want the job? Don't you, Harry?

Oh, please fuck us.

What kind of a person do you think I am?

two or three of my best young men within the last few hours.

I mean, I'm not sure I know exactly what you want.

All right, all right. I know, I know.

400 a week.

Jesus, send me, send me, I'll go.

I'll give it some more thought.

Goodbye.

Well, Harry, what's the matter with you then? Got a case of the cramps?

Stonies.

You send me to see sex perverts.

I want a job.

This one woman comes out, she gets me all worked up. Then the next woman comes

out and she does... Then what did they do, Harry? What did they do to you?

Well, they didn't make me breakfast, that's for sure.

I got the worst case of the Stonies on record.

Stonies? What are Stonies?

Blue balls. Haven't you ever heard of blue balls?

That's what I got.

Blue balls.

Every afternoon at three o 'clock...

I don't know what it is, but I get so fucking horny.

I look out at my window and I see those big diesel trucks go by with their big

black tires belching out all that black smoke into the air. And the trees.

Oh, the trees are the sexiest of them all. The way they lean and they bend.

I think the trees are the best.

Come on, Harry.

I'm all mine, right here on me desk blotter.

You're all crazy, you're all sickos, perverts. Harry, Harry, I'm a woman.

And I love fucked up straight men.

Yeah? Well, I tell you what, give me that $400 address.

But, Harry, you don't have the experience.

Oh, no.

Careful, I'm moving.

Oh, bitch.

You're breaking everything.

Oh, my Jesus.

Huh? Oh, my Jesus.

No, Harry.

That was so wonderful.

And it's only 3 .05.

You should come around the same time every day.

I just want that $400 piece of paper.

She turned down two or three of my best men. I don't understand.

Probably wants a fag.

This vacation idea of yours is excellent.

You've got it all, baby.

All you need is a little help with the attitude.

Did you get the contact sign? Yes, I did.

I think it was about four o 'clock in the morning.

I don't know what it is about that man, but... You really shouldn't humiliate

him. Are you kidding?

It gives him a chance to show off.

Yes.

Thank you. Ask him to come in, please.

Two weeks, fresh air, quiet. Oh, I envy you.

Please, sit down.

Thank you.

Tell me about yourself, Mr. Davenport.

Well, it's very simple.

Fresh from a four -year hitch in the Navy.

Previous to that, I was in business with my brother -in -law.

Very handsome man.

Too gorgeous to be straight.

Previous to that, I was junior college, then before that, high school.

The position is that of a bodyguard.

Mother spent thousands on ballet lessons, and I always considered ballet

similar to boxing.

I love contact sports.

So I boxed, and I decked them all.

North Atlantic champion.

Well, I'm taking an extended vacation, and what I need is someone to be near me

at all times, to wake me up in the morning, to put me to bed at night, and

leave me alone after I'm in bed.

Two weeks only, 400 plus room and board.

Sounds peachy.

Um, do you give massages?

Hi, this is Harry Davenport. Is Mr. Swanson in?

Oh, vacation.

Well, when's he going to come back?

Monday.

Did he get any of my messages, you know?

Please tell him when he returns that I called, okay?

Yeah, and take my number. Just take it again.

Yeah, 288 -9172.

Thanks a lot.

Okay, bye -bye.

There it is.

I hear it's a sophisticated bar and there's no danger.

Well, my job is to think there is danger.

Now, let me see your little unit there.

Yes, now you must always leave this little switch on. Right here.

Yes, I'll never be more than a block and a half away.

Let me see if it works.

Testing, one, two, three.

Testing, one, two, three. It's fine.

Yeah.

Scotch on the rocks?

Yes, thank you.

What a lovely apartment.

Let's have a cleaning moment.

Oh.

That's very nice. Thank you.

This is the music of the gods.

You are a goddess.

I'll be anything you want me to be.

It's pure Chinese silk.

Bethlehem's down the hall.

The world is my cock.

And tonight...

Ooh.

It was indescribable.

It wasn't good, wasn't it?

We both were.

Will I see you at the bar again?

Oh, I don't know.

Well, if I should ignore you, you'll understand.

It'll only mean I'm... I'm into something new.

Yes, of course.

Could I freshen your drink before you go?

No.

Just give me a few seconds to freshen up and I'll be on my way.

May I call you a cab?

No.

I hate to think of you wandering the streets by yourself.

Now we're going to see how good you are.

Well, I must admit, I haven't massaged many ladies in my life.

In the Navy, we massaged each other on the boxing team.

I like it deep, Harry.

Well, the worst thing that can happen is that you fire me.

That's good.

You have a very strong back.

You know, none of my business, but... You know, there's no reason for you

to pick up men in bars.

You're right. It is none of your business.

Ever since high school, I've thought of nothing else but success.

I've been sensationally successful at success.

I've neglected an awful lot of my education.

That's why we're going to another bar tonight.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hi.

Can I buy you another drink?

No, thank you.

Have I offended you or something?

No.

I have a good job.

Women are paying their own way. There's nothing wrong with buying a man a drink.

Look, lady, you're very pretty.

And maybe I'm out of step with the times, but I buy my own drinks.

I like to make my own approaches.

And I also like to lead when I'm dancing. You understand?

Yes, I do understand.

Man, I'd love to eat the crotch out of your panties.

Oh, God.

You want me to leave any clothes on?

No, not a thing.

I've never done this before.

You don't have to tell me what to do.

You don't have to do anything.

It was so funny.

I'm sorry.

It's just that your face is so smooth.

Thank you.

No, I'm sorry. I can't.

That's all right, honey.

It is the way it is.

Why don't you turn over?

Let me know if this is too rough.

Mm -hmm.

Well, did you find out if you're gay?

We don't have penises.

Some of you had balls.

Yeah.

Harry? Why do you do this?

Here you are massaging a woman's body, driving her car.

Don't you want to be somebody?

I am somebody. Besides, I need the money. I'm going into business.

Really? What kind of business?

I don't know yet, but it won't be with my brother -in -law. I'll tell you that.

That's rough.

But that's wonderful.

You're as clean as you've ever been.

Where are we going next?

I don't know.

I thought maybe we'd just drive around, scout new territory.

Want to buy some gas?

No, the trouble's with my tires.

I'm only a gas person.

So, sir, is your, uh, with working? Sure, around the back.

But, uh, yeah, I don't know how to work.

I'm the only one here, and I'm only, I realize, a gas person, you know.

You got a name?

Champagne I'm a beer man myself

Want a beer?

No, thank you.

Have a seat.

There's more for me.

I want you to meet a friend of mine, Fred.

Fred's been with me a long time.

Hi, Fred.

Play with him a little. He gets friendly.

Don't ever laugh.

Oh, well, there hadn't been anything to get him excited.

Fred likes wet.

Fred likes a lot of tongue, too.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, yes.

You known Fred long?

A long time.

Like that all your life? Just about.

I think you're going to make Fred very happy.

Excuse me, ma 'am. Did you happen to see a tall, good -looking woman with dark

hair come by this way?

Yeah.

Did you see which way she went?

Yeah.

Where?

With Tex.

Tex?

Tex where?

Look what I found here.

Something to drink a little beer out of.

Just find more.

Oh, that's right on.

A little bit.

A new beer glass.

Oh, no.

Shit.

Please don't do that again.

Oh, Gary.

These fingers have miraculous healing powers.

I only help your circulation.

You heal yourself.

Go between my thighs.

Oh, my God.

Did you see a bad bruise? No, no, I just broke a nail.

Press hard, Harry.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know what, Harry?

Sometimes I wish you could be a woman.

So you could do all sorts of things.

What things?

What do you do?

Wash my panties and stockings.

Well, I'm not interested in washing and drying.

I'm more interested in what you do when you're with a man.

Well... Sometimes I like to yell out dirty words. What

dirty words?

Well, there's that.

Yeah.

There's that.

Yeah. There's, um, balls.

What else?

We know.

Ass. What about ass?

Yeah.

And thighs.

Beautiful, beautiful thighs.

Uh -huh.

Hunt.

Hunt.

That's the most beautiful of all.

What about hot loads? Did you ever say, take my hot load?

No. I never said that.

You must need a nice young man of your own about now.

Oh, yes.

How could you tell?

By the way you've been breathing.

Well, I'm going to gift you a man.

Well, you don't have to do that.

You deserve it, Harry.

Pull over and stop here.

Pick me up in about three hours.

Peter would you turn around please?

Thank you.

Over here, Ms. Jones. We have Robert.

This is Buck.

Scott. This is Ms. Jones.

Hello. How are you, John?

Would you turn around for me, please?

And again, please.

Turn around.

What is your pleasure this afternoon, Miss Jones?

You, please.

Thank you, Miss Jones. I'm honored.

Peter.

I'm back.

Is Mr. Swanson in?

Harry Davenport.

Oh. Well, do you know when he'll be free?

Well, could you tell him to call me when he gets a chance?

Okay, Harry Davenport.

288 -9172.

Uh -huh.

Okay, thanks. Bye.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah.

Get up there.

Yeah.

Get closer.

I want to see it now.

I want to see it.

Get up, guys.

No, you don't get it yet.

You like the toy hat, huh?

Hi, how are you doing today?

Just fine.

Just fine. I have found a 99 -cent special ad in here somewhere.

Oh, yeah?

Well, why don't you try the super special instead?

Now you're talking.

Okay.

Well, what you do is you drive your car around here, and I'll meet you on the

other side. Okay.

Right here? Yeah, nobody can see through the stud.

Come on.

Boy, am I ready.

I'm going to ride you on this stud horse.

Better hurry, Daddy. It's only a three -minute car walk.

Are you going to come?

Daddy!

We're going to put a quote on it.

That'll be $20.

You can pay me now, please.

$20? Yes.

I thought it was 99 cents.

Well, see, the 99 cents is for the special wash, and the $20 is for the

bus.

Well, no, the ad didn't say anything about that.

Well, you'd think that I just did all that in the car

for... A lousy 99 cents?

Yeah, that was very reasonable, I thought.

I'm not cleaning that.

I'll clean it.

$20. That's three minutes.

I can't believe it.

Nothing's real anymore.

No quality, no beauty.

You've been so good to me, Helen.

Now I want to be good to you.

Mrs.

Buck, the surprise I promised you.

You shouldn't have.

My cock is all yours.

Oh, Jesus, you shouldn't have. You're just too good to

me.

Hey.

Are you going to be all right?

Yeah, yeah.

Bye.

Listen.

Oh,

Jesus, God.

I guess, I don't know, my arm starts swinging and I lost control.

I tore me in.

Could you apologize to him for me, please?

Does that happen often?

What?

Breathing in a bag.

Only once before in my whole life.

Oh.

Here we are.

I hope you're not getting hooked on this Warhol.

There's something more I need to know.

Don't get out.

You have most of the day off. Just pick me up at 8 .30 tonight.

And don't be overly concerned.

It's my job to be concerned.

Mr. Lieberman, I realize you lost most of your money in the stock market.

I know that.

Look, Mr. Lieberman, we made what we felt was a sound investment based on

research, based on our knowledge of the situation.

It's just one of those unpredictable situations.

We did the best we could.

There's no way that anyone can foresee the future.

Mr. Lieberman, I have a client coming in the office right now. Let me get back

to you in about an hour.

Bye -bye.

I'm Harry Davenport.

Mr. Davenport, it's great to see you after all these years. Have a chair.

I'm Jim Swanson, manager of your accountants.

Say, you've built up quite a company for yourself.

Company? Why, the Jiffy Instant Printing, of course.

Oh, of course.

Well, I came by to make my final investment payment as we arranged and

my share at the same time.

Well, I'm delighted to accept your investment, but I don't understand

about you receiving any share.

Well, the company, it profits, right? My share.

Certainly. In fact, your company has cleared over a million dollars.

Maybe even two million.

Thank you.

Write me a check and I'll be on my way.

Mr. Davenport, I can't give you any money.

What do you mean you can't give me any money? I gave you money every month.

Yes, that's true.

But you signed away power of attorney.

We're only authorized to make any payments to him.

Him? Him.

Hey, you coming out for the track team?

I'm not fast enough.

You're fast enough for me.

Oh, really?

Hey, you fast indoors, too?

I bet I can beat you.

I went to see Mr. Swanson today. Yeah, yeah.

Well, some surprise you laid on me. I'm in a hurry, Harry. We've got to work

this out.

What are you talking about?

The company.

Yeah? Well, he wouldn't give me any of my money. I'm not your lawyer, Harry.

But... Come on, I'm really in a hurry.

When did I sign power of attorney over to you?

Remember that paper you gave to me to sign to get you out of bankruptcy?

Which you got me into.

Yeah, but your company was going nowhere. I made you a wealthy man.

Give me some money.

You'll get your money, Harry.

You'll get your money, every cent of it.

When I die, you'll get your money. And I'm not going to die for a long time.

My pulse rate is down and my heartbeat is perfect.

I'm in the peak of health, Harry.

And you know something?

You're not going to kill me either.

Because you haven't got the guts to kill me, Harry.

You haven't got the slime to kill me.

You're a nice guy, Harry.

And nice guys can laugh.

Hey, don't open those.

Why not?

Well, at this place, you pretend not to see anyone else, and they pretend not to

see you.

Ain't you been here before?

No.

Well, the routine is simple.

Lights stay out, blinds stay closed, and the day rate means we've got to check

out by 4 p .m.

Only today I got a piano lesson at 2 .30, so we only got an hour and 45

Come on. Let's go.

I've got to freshen up.

You look fine. Come on.

I won't be long.

Well, don't waste too much time.

A shower?

Good God.

I mean, well, geez, we might as well just forget it. Like, it's been 13

you know.

Can you hurry up?

Please?

You see, one thing should never be rushed.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Come on, my child. Come on, my brother.

What are you doing tomorrow night?

I'm leaving town this afternoon.

I won't be here.

I'll never see you again.

I don't think so.

But I got to see you again.

We just got to. I mean, oh, Jesus.

What am I going to do?

remember what's your thing

Come in.

I couldn't sleep.

Are we going someplace tonight?

No.

I've been everywhere and done everything I want to do.

I remembered you liked sailors.

Why don't you pretend you met me in the park?

And you took me home.

And we can play all night.

What's the matter, Harry?

Need a paper bag?

No, it's just the thought of a young sailor coming to me in the middle of the

night is overwhelming.

You want to help your sailor boy?

Make fun.

It's so unusual, isn't it?

How does it feel when a woman touches you, Harry?

You want your favorite boy to suck on you?

Oh.

Oh.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

Champagne, I... I'm gonna tell you who I am.

What I am.

I'm, uh... Are you awake?

Maybe it's just as well, babe.

Yeah, it's just as well.

Honey, if it's a matter of more money, well, we can arrange for that, you know.

No, Mr. Britton, that isn't it.

Well, if you want to do something with your own department, rearrange it

completely as far as I'm concerned.

That isn't it either.

Oh, may I have this?

Oh, of course you can. You can have the whole thing.

Oh, Mr. Britton.

Well, what seems to be the problem?

I can't. I don't know.

Okay.

What do you mean you're quitting?

You can't quit. Our whole sales campaign is built around you. Change it.

Yes.

Right away, thank you.

What is the real reason, goddammit?

I guess I'm not as ambitious as I thought I was.

I'll see to it that you never work again. Peggy, Peggy, remember she can

her own ticket with any cosmetic firm in the country.

We can take her to court. Ruin her.

There's nothing to say she can't quit.

You're going to leave without saying goodbye.

Well, look, I... Look, I brought my suit back.

And, uh, petty cash.

All the receipts.

Everything's accounted for.

Yeah, that's good.

Well, so long.

So long.

I don't know, I was...

I tried... I tried to tell you last night, this morning, well...

Wait a minute.

You see, I've got to say this.

You see, I'm not a... I'm not... I know.

No, I mean, all that stuff about me being a... I know.

You know?

How long have you known?

Almost from the beginning.

Almost from what?

You fixed me up with that big... You dirty.

In all those times, you... Yes.

You dirty.

And you dirty. And last night when you... You...

You... Gorgeous creature, you.

Well...

Well, now, let me tell you something. I mean, really, let me tell you something.

I love you.

That's what.

I love you.

I love you, too. Now, wait a minute. I want to tell you something else. What

else do you want to tell me?

Sure you love me?

I love you.

Well, I own 186 Jiffy printing shops.

All of a sudden, I'm a goddamn millionaire.

Say it like that.

Pretty good.

You know what? What? I think you're going to need some help with your

advertising.

Champagne, you're bubbly.

Champagne, you're lovely.

You're such a pleasure to see.

One touch can put me in seventh heaven.

And on a scale of ten, you're eleven.

You are the blue sky by far, the perfect tie.

And so I'll just go on.

Lobby, champagne, you fill all my days with.

Sunshine, champagne, you're finally mine.

You're finally mine.

You're finally mine.