Original subtitles

My name is Bones.

And no, I am not one of those two mamparas riding there in the cart.

This was one of the many times that the mad white people were at war with each

other. Many, many moons ago, here in Kurukiland.

Nobody will come digging around old graves.

Because there's sheriff's books.

You said nobody else knows where this is buried.

No, but we're going to tell President Kruger where it's buried.

Why?

Because it's President Kruger's millions.

Let's not tell him.

What? In fact, I think the only person from now on that will know where this is

buried... It's me.

treasure became known as the Kuga Millions.

Many have searched for it, but to this day, it has never been

found.

And Kuvuki land has remained almost unchanged.

The Kuvuki people wrapped in mystery and legend.

And the only person who knows where the treasure is buried...

...is

me.

Bones. Mr. Bones.

Because I can see past what is here just now by the throwing of the

bone. Yes.

Which you...

My son, Matambo, are now learning. Tell me, what do you see?

I see a Dukkha horse pointing straight up. What does that mean?

It means it's making a baby. No!

No, my son. It is saying we must look upwards to the Great One.

Aha. Then look up to the Great One. Yes, my son.

Yes, the great one.

Daddy, look.

That's me, the baby boy. Yes.

There's a woman in front of me. That means we'll find love.

No, no, no, my son. There is no woman in Kuzugi land. That is your size.

You are like the rabbit trying to chase the lioness. No.

The two cahons is the one that's making the baby. Forget about the woman. They

are only trouble.

Carry on.

I know all of this.

Please, brother, tell me again.

How did you come to Kuvukila?

Oh, I was just a little baby boy.

A flying wagon had fallen, burning from the sky.

And my mama and papa were killed.

And the lion?

Who thought I was his supper?

But you let go the most terrible poo -poo.

And the lion smelled the terrible poo -poo.

And he ran and he ran from the terrible snake.

And you became the Sangoma spirit man, the thrower of the bone.

No, my son, I simply became a man, which you now must become.

Your name is Matambu, which also means bones.

Tell me about when I was born.

Ah, it was not an easy birthing.

Push, Tenduka, push harder.

It's coming out the wrong way.

the sign of minimums.

30 minutes straight.

We will bring you a fish.

All you ever bring me is trouble. You have trouble written across your face.

you have trouble written across your face.

It's like a wish.

Look,

I'm from the sky.

Mama, why you bring all this rubbish to Kudu Villa? Because...

When I see the fish, I stand still like a snake.

Then I take out my good gear.

Then I shire the fish in the water. Dead finish.

Oh, good on my son.

Easy, Dada.

Hey!

I will find you a crocodile.

I have seen this man before.

It is he who told me of a treasure that was buried long time

ago here.

He says I must grow the bones.

Okay.

Can I bless them, Papa?

Yes, my son.

The baby bone.

Any muslungu can see that. It's okay, I know.

There's a storm coming.

Let me read the bones. Wait!

There's a storm coming from that way.

And this one says the storm may pass the Kubuki land.

This one is pointing... To you.

Which means...

That you must stop the storm.

I corner.

That way I know.

I am here, watching.

I corner.

How can little Matambo stop the storm?

He is a mook who can do nothing right, great one.

Hi, Bo.

Matambo, look.

What is that?

Mosquito. Big one.

Hey, Alvin.

See that fault line? Uh -huh. There's probably oil there.

Alvin, give your government contact a call. Let's get drilling.

Who the hell is that?

Take a closer look.

Madame, is it a bat?

Who is that?

I think I heard of him.

Is it a bat?

A monster bat?

I thought he was just a legend. His name is Bones.

Bones? You're going to break his get darn bone?

Let's go.

Ah, you see that vida bottom tree?

Huh? You aim.

You pull this spear back slowly.

Slowly. Huh?

Then you let go.

Ah!

Makulu balls.

Your turn.

I can't do this.

You can.

You're a man. A crazy man.

Okay. Relax.

Yes,

my boy. Yes.

Okay.

Hand on to arrow.

Now pull.

Slowly. Ready.

Now.

Matamu, listen to me.

Over all these years, you have only earned five quills in your head. You

better than that.

No fear.

We will get there.

We will never get anywhere.

Matamu. Baba.

Are you okay?

You know, we could have had...

For dinner tonight.

It is such a pleasure to meet you.

I'm African.

This is Africa.

Take bones off the jungle.

Shut up, Elvin.

Hey, you. You pretty dark bag of bones. You ruined my drone.

Want to chop your ass?

Hey,

you got a big and dangerous...

Hey, wild lady, why don't you

join me for dinner?

Maybe the alvinator can teach you one or two new tricks. Little man!

There is nothing you or any man can teach me.

Stop, stop, stop, stop. Oh, my gosh.

Move, move.

I will see you at the bar, and I will teach you something.

Okay, Laka.

Bunch of lunatics. They're as crazy as a bag of rattlesnakes.

You see, Jack? Get me the hell out of here. Get out of the way. Hold that to

your stupid face on the side of the mountain.

Peter.

Yes, my son. Did I save your life?

You did.

And you earn another quid. Ah, another quid.

Another quid.

The stone which the bones spoke about.

I think it is there.

Come. We sleep tonight at one banana pen.

of the mkuku bird for you, my son.

What is love?

Love? Does it feel like when you eat the heart of a bird? Yes.

It is nice.

And when it lands in your stomach, it can make you happy.

I know that you've got enough medicine. I want it. Why?

Because I can feel the love in my tummy.

Love for who?

That pale beauty.

No. Why not?

Listen, son.

One day, you'll marry a very pretty, kufuki girl.

But this one, this one, the pale beauty, she can never be.

No.

Believe me, if you take that stuff, it can be very dangerous.

Leave it.

It's not fair, Dada. It's not fair.

You did your shutting off from the beauties.

So, I secure all the oil contract.

I'm the expert in oil drilling big machines.

Yes, that's him. You are the tough one.

They call me Oily Jack for short.

And Griswold for long.

I see what's under there and I tear up the earth and suck it out. You can

see what's under the ground.

I could find ice in a sauna.

Can you find a buried treasure?

If I know where to look.

Have you heard of the Kruger Millions?

Sure I have.

Bones.

That wild white black man who kicked us all. He knows where the Kruger Millions

are buried.

He does?

How do we get him to tell us?

I can tell you, but you must give me half.

Sure. Sure, no problem.

We make friends with him.

And we challenge him to a game of guara -guara.

What the hell is guara -guara? Guara -guara.

It's a spooky version of golf.

What?

And I'm a sketch golf player.

So we get Alvin here to challenge Bones to a game of this scary play. Guara

-guara. That's what I said.

We get him on our side.

Exactly. He can never say no to guara -guara.

Bartender? You gorgeous big drink of water.

What are your three most expensive drinks?

Give me a second.

All right.

One, two, three.

Drinks are on the house.

Yeah, good man.

It's a robbery.

Stay down. It's like bloody New York.

Make that the floor of the house. A money check. A little money.

So, do you smell something?

It is a terrible smell.

Even my carouse is smelling.

Even I smell.

Even the fire smells.

Can you smell something terrible?

It is you.

I see. It is you.

Frustration. You spit on me.

No. No. I am not crazy.

Something is smelling.

I am not happy.

Take me to my king. He will believe me.

I am not crazy.

This is Mr. Bones. What exactly is a sanguine?

a holy man.

Look, I think that's him.

Doesn't look like a holy man to me. Looks like a donkey's ass.

Why are you laughing?

You bet.

Me.

I will get you back

for this one.

Mr. Bones, I am delighted to meet you, sir.

What do you want?

Sorry about the misunderstanding we had yesterday. We want to talk to you about

your curry guar... Guaraguara. That's what I said. It is like your golf.

Exactly. Yes, we can talk.

I know golf. I was a caddy at the City of the Sun.

Muzzletov. Huh?

Muzzletov. Tov.

Muzzle. Tov, si.

Okay, we go to the Guaraguara course.

Let's go.

What

is

this? I have seen this before.

They hold like this. Get your hands off my face.

It's a look.

Classy. And the green is?

No. The green is here.

Are you joking?

Is this for children?

So what? We're just a little short from there to there.

Are you stupid?

There are many more fairways. And that way is the raft.

And that way is the bunker.

And that way is the waterhole.

And you go round and round and round and you end here by the green.

Okay, and where are the other holes?

At the city of the sun.

Stand back.

Show them, daddy. Show them.

You are an impressive, sir.

Now, the gray substance on the green, what is that?

It is the elephant shit and the dog poo.

Okay.

Bonesy, bonesy, bonesy, bonesy, bonesy, bonesy, bonesy.

Sorry. Mr.

Bones.

You look like the kind of man that likes to compete.

What do you mean?

You like to play the guaraguara against other people to see who's the best.

It is what a man does. And here in Kivuki land, you're the best.

Alvin over here, where he comes from, he's the best at glow.

Ponzi, I challenge you.

A competition?

I challenge you.

Tomorrow.

May the best man win.

Let us seal it with the Kuvuki grit.

Good luck.

The Kuvuki grit is holy.

That sure was a good

slap, though. Good.

Good darn son of a bitch.

There is our king.

It is beautiful art. Yes, Buckingham Palace.

Pale faces.

Marcos. Marcos.

Marcos. Marcos.

He is our king.

I must go and talk to my king. Of course, Marcos.

Marcos, my king.

Can I see that silver thing in your hand?

I don't think so.

Do you know what this is?

It's got a horror inside.

Okay, let me show you something.

You just push this over here and then put it to your ear, okay?

Fancy a date?

Really? A dance?

You can keep the phone and then we can talk to each other whenever we want.

Let me show you something else.

Say,

I love Gabby.

Gabby, my dad says I must do something for him.

Okay, thank you.

between you and Bones?

He was in love with me once.

And you him?

We

have

a problem.

What is it?

Icon. Mamba, love of my life, come dance with me.

Please, not again.

Mamba, I love you like the baboon loves the banana.

What's a little idiot doing?

Matambo, you look so beautiful.

Come back here, Judy.

Won't you think he's in love with me?

Oh, my sweet Matambo.

Do you like some gulam jumbo?

In Guarababu

And I will return your love.

If you tell me one thing.

Where is the treasure hidden?

Sugar millions.

Tell me.

Tell me, and I will go inside with you, and I will show you love like you

have never known.

Mama, in the holy graveyard.

Where in the graveyard?

Behind the grave.

Where they move.

And the two stars.

Oh, thank you, Bob.

Oh, Mama, I love you like thunder.

Colossus. My time.

Hmm?

on my mustache.

It is for that.

I thought it was a holy wing knocking on my door.

Ah, no worry, my son.

Your Colossus is still inside you.

Baba, no, it's not funny. It's funny. You must laugh.

It brings...

Yes, Dad.

What happened last night?

You don't remember?

I don't remember, too.

It is not good.

Yes, bones.

So, you don't remember what happened last night?

Do you remember when you kissed me?

And then you took me to your bed here.

I was surprised at the size of your little thing in my mouth.

You don't remember?

Bad luck for you.

Little thing in my mouth.

Bones doesn't remember anything.

You sure?

Whatever that dart was, they don't remember what happened after I hit them.

But what I do remember is we've got the big guara -guara today.

I fell

in love with Gabriela.

You were like sick with her logo yesterday.

Did you get lucky with the little fat guy?

What? You were chasing after him like a lion in heat.

Amina.

You have got to watch these pale faces for me today.

Please. There is trouble coming.

Well, you're busy with your guard thing -thing.

We're going to go wrecky the graveyard.

We are safe.

They don't know what we know. They don't know that we know.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hello, Gabriela.

Good luck.

You look nice.

Thank you.

Look what I got.

What is that? Farida from Mamba. I'm going to commentate.

Commentate? I will commentate.

Just wait and see.

Oh.

I love you.

What?

I am your buddy.

Come on!

Hi, Dad. Hi, everyone.

Hey, buddy.

How are you doing? High five. I am not your buddy.

Okay. You go first.

No, no, no. You first.

Nice shot. Nice shot.

You must learn to hold the Guara Guara stick with one hand

when you hit.

Quiet, pony.

This railway goes there.

It is a difficult one.

Five ion.

Five ion.

Whooped my ball in the bunker.

You. Oh, me.

It floundered and smelled like a tick fart.

A makulu. A big tick.

Yes.

That's why you are getting paler.

It loves sucking blood.

Talk to the baboon. I cannot speak baboon. I sneeze.

These baboons, they steal everything.

Ball play, ball play. No, eat again.

Watch.

I cannot speak baboon.

by one shot.

I do not care.

Big or small, bones can do it.

Watch. Watch.

Ah, giraffe, he help me.

Big giraffe.

You're cheating. You're a cheater. And they're level at three shots each.

Got it.

Headstone with an engraving of a moon.

Chainsaw time.

I like that.

Hallelujah.

You, stand where I can see you.

Six iron.

Why don't you trust me? I would rather trust a pregnant hippo.

Look for the ticks!

What the

hell happened?

What? Dick man, you play the guara guara like a sick frog.

Just listen here, pony. I don't care about your guara guara stone age

irritation. What happened to the hole?

There is the hole, there.

No, the hole was here.

The hole is and was there.

Your mind has gone gaga from the ticks.

Yeah, what's happening here? Ah, I can see you have...

Fever. It is a makulu tick. You can die.

Now it has bitten you on the palasi.

Now it has bitten you on the hole.

What's a hole?

A hole is a small poop hole surrounded by a big one.

He'll be the winner.

Of you, my son.

Yes. You deserve it.

What?

Mamba and the white men were looking at the holy graveyard.

Gabriel, tell me what is going on.

What do you know? Mamba and the men were talking about the Kruger Millions and

last night I heard her ask you where the treasure's hidden. And what did I say?

You said something about a grave.

I told Mamba.

where it is.

And now she told them.

Matambu! There is something that you know. Tell me.

Deda, I took your love, Muti.

And the arrow, I wanted to hit Gabriela to fall in love with me.

And that arrow hit you.

And you fell in love with Mamba.

And that arrow hit it. It did mean... And it did mean falling in love with me.

And after the arrow, I saw it on my forehead. I was thinking, I don't know

what's happening there. And then Mamba told them where the treasure is. And now

the bad men want to steal it.

Because my son, Matambu, stole the Amalav Muti from

his father.

I'm sorry, Teta.

You...

are no longer my son.

And it is because of Matambo. Matambo. He is in love with the white beauty

and he stole my muti. Throw the bones.

My king, put your spirit into my bones.

Nice.

There is the grave with the treasure.

There is Matambu.

And there is the white beauty.

I am here.

That is the bad man.

Between them, the grave.

And the bones say, madame, you must stop this storm. But he is a muhu.

You must leave your son alone.

Stop trying to turn your son into you.

You must try to tell him you're not my friend.

Then you tell him you are a stupid old man that cannot tell his own father from

the baboon.

I'm climbing up your shadow to be a better man.

Oh, father, my brother, my journey has begun.

I'm climbing up your shadow to the sun. Only the

great one knows why he gave me a pumpkin instead of a palm tree.

But you are my son.

And you are your own man.

In your own way.

And you are perfect.

In the eyes. Of the great one.

But me.

I am.

I am just. A stupid old man.

Who doesn't know his bum.

From a baboon.

And with all my heart.

I love you, Mutambu.

I love you too, Dada.

Yes, my love.

Come, dry up the tears.

We have work to do.

We have bad men to conquer.

What if I mess it up again? Then we mess it up together.

Come, my son.

If they come for us tonight, we will be ready.

What happens if Spooks comes for us?

Then we frighten them away.

How? By being brave warriors.

Yes,

of course, I'm watching.

It's Jack.

No, there's no sign of anybody.

Yeah, okay, I'll wait here.

All right.

I cannot do this without my dada. Be ready.

Who's that?

Are you ready?

I want these skermuncles digging up my skeleton.

Be brave. I will try.

Be brave. I will do my best.

Jada! Zambana!

Zambana! Yes!

Great

one.

Please.

Run with my boy.

What do you

see?

Okay, come on.

I'm stuck.

Help me.

Here it comes.

Coming through.

You want me to massage you for you?

Here she is, my beauty.

They said it was behind the grain.

What is there, someone under there? Well, too bad if there is.

All right, baby.

Let's see what you got.

I'm out of here. Stay.

Matambo think.

Matambo do.

Eat the stone.

You shot my foot.

Yes, I'm out of here.

That's what I said What about me?

A man.

Spook a stone.

Stone.

We beat them.

We did.

Much humble.

He's not yet one of those.

Mama Kabuki!

Somehow

they

got an oil contract, can you imagine?

Kabuki Land would have been destroyed.

But White Guilty, why were you working with his band?

I didn't even know what they were up to.

At least they are now gone.

Great one.

Give me this one wish, and I'll do nothing very bad.

You didn't need a love, Dad.

I've always loved you. No.

But you never noticed me.

No. I never realized that. That I had a brain.

No. No, Amina.

I knew that, but I never knew outside that you're so beautiful,

so lovely, and I've been so stupid.

All the birds and animals and all the peoples of Kuhruki Land

welcome you as man and woman together

forever in the name of the Kuhruki Land.

Now we send it.

We send it to who?

What is Tony's doing here?

when or if it will ever happen.

What happened to those strange people?

Jack was killed by a bar maiden in a place called New York.

Elvin became what Gabby calls a rap singer in a place

called India.

Mamba became something called a state president in a

place called...

South Africa.

Yes.