All language subtitles for MendjeMaster--Masterminds.2016.1080p.BluRay.x264-AMIABLE.English

All I've really ever wanted
was adventure.

That's what got me into
the armoured car business.

Between the guns and the cash

and the constant threat
of violence,

it seemed like a total dream.

But that's all it wasjust a dream.

'Cause in reality,
my daytoday was as boring

as any garbage man, pizza guy
or paperboy.

Pick it up, drop it off,
repeat.

Pick it up,
drop it off, repeat.

Pick it up, drop it off,
repeat.

I used to fantasise
about getting robbed

in the line of duty

just to prove to myself that I would
man up, given the chance.

But I was denied
even that simple pleasure.

I blame popular culture.

See, I grew up
watching spy movies.

They made it seem so fun,

judochopping the bad guys
and saving the girl.

I wanted that life,
but it didn't quite pan out that way.

So I settled.

That's about the worst thing you can do,
if I'm honest.

I mean,
until you take a chance in life,

you really never find out
who you are.

My name is David Ghantt.

In 1997,

I was a quiet middleaged man
knocking on 40.

But then, then the wind blew in
Miss Kelly Campbell.

After four decades of waiting,

my adventure
finally came knocking.

What do you say
you and me rob Loomis Fargo?

What? Come on!

That guy just did it
a month ago.

The bank guard? Jacksonville?

Phillip Johnson.Yeah, Phillip Johnson.

Behind this wall,
there is a million dollars.

Give me one reason
why we shouldn't.

Well, for one thing,
we could get fired.

Right?

Whoo!Hot dog!

Not bad.

You know what I'd do
with $1 million?

Buy a crapload of CDs.
Music is very important in my life.

What would you do
with $1 million?

Probably start my own business,
you know?

Maybe go after some felons or convicts,
you know?

Be a bounty hunter or skip tracer
or something like that.

You know, put a cap in there.

Oh! Oh! David!Oh, that burns!

Oh, my gosh! Let me see!Ow, Kelly!

Let me see! Let me see!Ow! Get it out!

OK.Oh, God, Kelly!

You're good. You're alright.OK.

You're OK. But, man, you nearly
shot yourself a new butthole.

Yeah, went straight down
the crack.

It feels like it just grazed my biscuits
right betwixt them.

Yeah, doesn't hurt that bad.No, I think you're OK.

I mean, you got a nice big hole
in your shorts.

It's just a skin burn.
You're alright.

Yeah.

You go home and you fill your tub
full of whole milk.

What's... what's that?Fill your tub with whole milk.

Whole milk?Yeah.

'Cause the fats, it's the fats
that moisturise the skin.

I got ranch dressing.
I could put a little ranch in.

Oh! I'll get it.

Well, if it isn't the future
Mrs. David Ghantt calling her honey.

Oh, no, no. That's Jandice.
I'm late.

I forgot, gosh!What? Where you going?

Engagement photos.

Oh. That's nice.Yeah, so... Yeah!

I'm gonna walk backwards

I don't want you looking
at my derriere.

Well, I've seen it,
hate to tell ya, crack and all.

Maybe I can stare at your crack
one day and we can get even.

Hey, Dave!

Have another drink.

Jandice, I'm sorry I'm late.

That's OK. I'm glad
you got here when you did.

I've been crying for hours.Have you?

Had to put my makeup on

three separate times
'cause of the tears.

Well, third time's a charm.
You look... you look fantastic.

Let's take some pictures.

Good lord, Jandice!

I've been saving that
for you.

You farted
right into my butthole.

It's like a fart transplant.

So how'd y'all meet?

I'm a sucker
for courtship stories.

Well, if you must know,
a couple years back

I was at a Youth Praise concert
at church,

and I saw the most handsome man

that I had ever seen
in the world.

He was looking right at me.

We went on a date,
and then we fell

very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very deeply in love.

And then he died. Snakebite.

At his funeral,
I was very, very distraught.

I couldn't keep myself together.

And I saw this... other man,

a distant cousin
of the deceased.

He was a pallbearer
and he was kinda struggling

to hold up
his end of the casket.

I had a hard time lifting it up.

In any case,
we got to talking afterwards.

And I thought,
"Well, that one's dead.

"This one's alive.

"I'll take the live one."

Now here we are,
two years later.

That's, uh, quite a story.

Yeah, we're happy
as all get out.

I couldn't be happier.Me either.

Then one day,
things took a turn.

I guess I... I sensed it coming.

But restless souls like Kelly

usually don't stick around
at a place like Loomis.

Here's a little snackaroo.

Taco salad with extra ranch.

David, thank you.Eat up.

I'm not really that hungry.
Not now. I'm sorry.

What's going on now?
Come on, you're just moping around.

Well... Rodney and I broke up.

No kidding!Yep. Last night.

Hey, hey, hey.
What's going on in here?

You all are way behind schedule,
so, Ghantt,

I need you to get your bearded
ladyface out there right now.

Wait, whoa, whoa!
What'd you say to him?

You can't talk to David Ghantt
like that.

He's the only one around here
with half a brain.

He's smarter
than you'll ever be.

We're gonna be outside, boss.No, no, no.

What the hell is your problem
today, Kelly?

Maybe I'm feeling
a little emotional.

Maybe I'm having a bad day, huh?
Does that fit in your schedule?

You know, what I care about is
getting that truck out there,

southbound, ASAeffingP.

And if I don't?

You're fired.

OK, then, fine.

Fire me, Ashley. Fire me.OK.

Kelly, I don't know...No, you know what?

I have been fixing to quit this job
for a long time.

And besides, if I get fired,
I get unemployment.

That's a good point.ASHLEY: Then guess what.

You're not fired.KELLY: OK!

What if I sexually harass
one of your employees, huh?

Then you'll get in trouble
if you don't fire me.

Just walk up to somebody
and go like that.

What if I just do
this kind of thing?

Oh, my gosh, this is so illegal.

You're gonna get fired
for not firing me

because I'm doing something
so sexual and inappropriate...

Don't....for the workplace.

Look at that! Kelly!What if I did this?

Sexual, sexual dancing!

OK, you're fired now.

Leave the uniform!

Kelly, hold on a second.

I'll clean that up. Just...

Hey, uh... Hey, Kelly?

Can I get your phone number,
you know, just to have it?

Um... Oh, yeah. Sure.

I don't have a pen on me.

No, you don't have no pen.

You got barely anything on
your upper half. You got a bra.

They look good.

I mean, the bra looks nice
and what it encases. Um...

I got a pencil right here.

Great.

You can just do it on my arm.With pencil?

Yeah.

Ooh, man, you really gotta
press into the skin

to make this show up.

Mmhm.

Yeah.Here you go.

There's 10 numbers there.Oh, yeah.

The 143 at the end,

that's sort of my thing
I just always do.

It's code for "I love you"you know, 'I' is one letter,

'love' is four letters,
'you', three letters.

I've just always done it.
I don't know.

That's my thing.

That's pretty badass.

That's cool.

Well, see ya.

OK.

Kelly always made me
feel special.

Like I could do anything. Idiot!

You know, be anyone.

Watching her leave Loomis
was like

watching a space shuttle
shed its rocket boosters.

The shuttle goes up
to new and exciting places.

Rocket boosters just
burn into the atmosphere

or sink into the ocean.

Noone gives a crap
about rocket boosters.

Now, without
my positive influence,

Kelly fell in with a bad crowd.

In the weeks after she quit,

she was spending all of her time
on the rough side of town

in a doublewide highrise
belonging to this man,

Steven Eugene Chambers.

I think he was
Kelly's neighbour

or a friend from high schoolmight have been both.

Calling Steve
a snake in the grass

is an insult to snakes
and to grass.

He was a petty thief
mostly known for

stealing tiny wheelchairs
from paediatric hospitals.

As for Kelly,
she'd all but forgotten

about her days at Loomis Fargo,
till the company made the news.

Police are reporting
that Phillip Johnson,

a Loomis Fargo security guard

accused of stealing $20 million,
has been arrested.

The 5month manhunt
began in March

when Johnson allegedly robbed
a Loomis depository

in Jacksonville, Florida,
before fleeing to Mexico.

The robbery was the largest
in US history.

Next, your weather forecast.

Guess we gotta rob a bank if
we want to get on The Big Show.

Yeah, I guess so.

Kelly works over at Loomis.

Worked. Quit three weeks ago.

She's over at Hardee's now.

Speaking of work,
I gotta be there in an hour.

So, with that,
I'll leave you lovely people.

See you, girl.

Hey, Kelly, seriously,
what are we talking about?

Securitywise.Steve, sober up. For real.

I'm buzzed. I'm not drunk.

Come on.
How hard can it be?

You load up a truck
and you drive away.

I've heard you talk about it.
Phillip Johnson did it, right?

Except the getting caught part.

I've known you
since we were kids.

I can tell
when you're not happy.

You wanna spend
the rest of your life

working the Hardee's
drivethrough,

or do you want to be on the other side
of that drivethrough

pulling up
in a pink RollsRoyce

buying a year's worth
of curly fries?

What I'm saying is
it's gotta be an inside job.

Well, that's the thing, Steve.
I'm not inside Loomis anymore.

But you must have made contacts.

You flirt with every pair
of pants within five yards.

No, I don't!

I'm just saying
you're a people person.

That's what you're saying?People like you.

You got that quality.

I mean, there's a guy at work
that likes me, I guess.

I don't flirt with him,
but my friend David.

Oh. Alright, alright.

That sounds promising.

And just how friendly
were you and Big Dave?

OK, he's practically married
and he's a good guy.

Yeah. We're all good guys.

I just want to know
can we trust this guy David

enough just to have
a conversation?

I mean, how's he feel about you?
Does he like you?

Or does he "like you",
like you?

The Congressional
Budget Office...

Is that your fiancée?No.

No.

You smiling like hell, man.

Oh! He's here, he's here.
Right there.

He's got roses.
He's got flowers.

He's perfect.OK, shh. Turn around.

I got you these at the store.

Thank you. You're sweet.
They're really lovely.

Well, now they have something
in common with their new owner.

Oh... Ow!

There's a thorn on there.

The guy at the store
said they were dethorned.

A couple of big ones.

You look amazing, Kelly.Oh. Thanks.

Hair looks good.My friend Ricki cuts my hair.

Just cut my bangs last week.

Yeah, Ricki banged me out
last time.

Oh.

Every...

You have a...

Sprung a leak in your tit.Oh, my gosh.

Thank you.
That thorn really got me.

Put some pressure on it.

Yeah.

Why isn't it milk?

I think you have to have a baby
to have milk.

I'm sorry.
Gosh, I'm just nervous.

I'm a bigger gentleman
than that.

Um, David, I wanted to explain
to you why I called you.

OK.

There's a gentleman
in the booth behind me...

Oh, no, don't look.
Don't look.

This gentleman
is a friend of mine

and he has an idea
he'd like to share with you.

Can he hear me right now?

I hear you.
I hear everything, David.

OK. What should I call you, sir?

Nothing. You don't ever need
to see me or know my name.

You can refer to me as Geppetto.

Geppetto?STEVE: Yeah, Geppetto.

As in Pinocchio.
As in I pull the strings.

I think he means Stromboli.

What'd you call me?Nothing.

I just think you mean Stromboli.

Geppetto was just a wood carver.

Stromboli was the puppeteer.

Go ahead, though.

So Miss Campbell tells me

y'all worked together
over at Loomis.

Said you were one of their best
employees, a straight arrow.

Clean as a nun's undies.

Well, I don't know
about all that, but...

She said you're so trustworthy
you're one of

the only nonmanagers
to have a key to the vault.

I think that's
an incredible honour.

I also think it's
an incredible opportunity.

Do you see where I'm going
with this?

Y'all aren't asking me
to go in there and take...

David,
I saw you walk in here.

You're a goodlooking dude.

OK, there's
no getting around that.

You carry your weight
in your chest

and your ass and it just...

You have a powerful build,
and I think you deserve more.

What y'all
don't realise is...

Thing is you can't pull a job off like that
on your own.

You need confederates,
people with a vested interest

in protecting that loot

while you're laying low
down in Mejico.

Loomis Fargo may look like
a big warehouse,

but the money inside
belongs to the banks.

If you take it, technically speaking,
you're robbing a bank.

And that's a federal offence.

84 months minimum.

No, shh. David, just listen.

We're just...
just talking, you know.

Just think about it.

I love it, Mother.

I feel like
a giant porcelain doll.

Mine's a little tight,

especially around the cumberbrumber...
the cucumberbun.

I know it's too tight.

I was hoping it would motivate you
to lose a couple pounds.

Well, I stopped eating them
Goo Goo Clusters like you asked.

Hello?KELLY: David?

Hello? Hey.

Yeah. It's a work thing.

Kelly, what are you doing
calling me here?

It's not a good time.

Oh, OK. I was just feeling
kinda lonely.

You're lonely?Yeah, I mean...

I don't know, I guess
I just miss you a little bit.

I hope that's OK to say.
I mean, I know you're engaged.

No, no, no,
don't censor yourself, please.

Well, this is gonna be...
this is gonna be amazing, baby.

I just don't know
if I have the nerve,

you know, to take all the money

and go down to Mexico
and then be on the run from the law

and who knows what else
will come up out of this.

The truth is
I'm a little disappointed

that you don't trust me.

No, Kelly, I trust you.
I just don't trust Geppetto.

Well, what if, um...
what if I went with you?

Kelly, that would be
the greatest thing

that ever happened to me,
if a man's being honest.

I could do that eventually.
I mean, not right at first.

Oh, not at first.
No, the timing would be bad.

The timing would be bad on that.

You know, think about it.

Two lovers on the lam in Mexico.

Bonnie and Clyde. You know,
we could pop on over to Brazil.

Have you ever...
ever been to Rio?

I've never even been
to the airport

but about twice in my life.

Oh, it's a real magical place.

Yeah, all those planes landing
and taking off and such.

No, Rio.DAVID: Oh, Rio. Yeah, yeah.

You know, they say
the beaches there,

they're like...
like powdered sugar.

You and I can spend
all our money

on fancy luxury hotels
and buy expensive negligees

and just rub each other all day
with coconut... juices.

Put rose petals
all over the bed.

You know, just sit around
and eat jam.

Hello?

David, are you there?
Hello, David?

Kelly, I'm in. Let's do it.

Let's rob Loomis Fargo.

It's gonna be amazing.

OK, well, I gotta run.

I gotta go
wash my pantyhose with my mouth.

Do what?

'Bye, David.

There he is.

The man of your dreams.

He'll live here with us forever.

It's like you're marrying
both of us, David.

Me AND Mama.

David, have you given
much thought

to what you'll be doing
for your honeymoon?

Yeah, I got a few plans.
Yeah, I do.

I'll tell you
what he won't be doing

if he doesn't lose some weight.

That's a good Goo Goo Cluster.

Where's the money?
Who else is involved?

We know you have the money!

Come on!

Oh. Oh.

Close. Close.

Come on, pick up the pace!

In Mexico, you may have to
live off the land for a little bit.

Yeah.I got you a tarantula.

Whoa!He's dead.

Don't worry.He's dead?

Maybe you should try him.
Get your immune system built up.

That's not bad.

That's not as bad
as I thought it'd be.

What the hell you doing
in my house?!

Sorry! Sorry!Who do you think you are?!

My apologies, sir!

Kelly!

Are you sure McKinney's OK

with me jacking with
his identification?

Yes, yes, McKinney doesn't
value government documents

the way you and me do.

It's...

There's Ghantt.

Ghantt, man!

Have a good weekend.Hey, look, you too, man.

Tell your kids
I said hello.

Yeah, OK. You too.

Come on, David, you got this.

It's go time.

David, are you there?

Kelly, guess what I'm doing
right now.

What? What are you doing?I'm robbing a Loomis Fargo!

I knew you could do it.
I'm so proud of you.

It's just paper. It's a lot of paper,
but it's just paper.

Yeah, paper that's gonna
change our life.

"Our life." I like that.

Two lives, one heart,
like conjoined twins, right?

Hey, enough with the lovefest.

I need you to come back
from Planet Cornball

and focus on the robbery.

Geppetto, this happens to be
a private conversation, OK?

No! This is NOT
a private conversation.

It's a robbery. Now, I bought
these walkietalkies...

Ghantt, you got a bogie
flying in.

Repeat, you've got company.

David, it's Ty, it's Ty.
He's coming's back!

Ghantt, do you copy?
You've got...

Hey. Who's that?

What the hell is going on here?

I'm gonna tell Chad on your ass.
I caught you redhanded.

Ty, listen here. This ain't
what you think, buddy.

Screw Ty. Just don't cut Ty in.

You said there wasn't
no overtime this weekend.

No, you're... you're right.
There's no overtime.

It's just... I'm just picking up
an extra shift.

The next one is mine.The next one's yours, yeah.

Sneaky ass.

Say hi to your kids, alright?

I repeat, Ghantt,
do you need backup?

What is your situation in there?
Do you need...

Yeah, I... I...
That's my fault, Geppetto.

I turned it off by accident, OK?

David, stay calm.
You got this.

Yeah, OK, yeah.Just listen to me.

Kelly, I could listen to that
all day.

But let me get
my robbery going, OK?

Ghantt,
it's been two hours.

What is taking you so long?!
Over.

OK, I think that's everything
but the cameras.

You fucking maggot pig!

Whoo!

No! No!

I'm locked in!

These birthing hips.

Aaaaaaaargh!

Nuggets!STEVE: Whoa!

Oh, God, my nuggets
are bruising!

What's he doing?! Help!

Help!

Don't let him
see your face.

Ghantt, you idiot!
What are you doing?!

Unlock the door.I'm stuck!

Check that door
over there.

You idiot, you drove it
right into the ditch!

This door's locked too.He said this one's locked too.

Sonofa...

Any of you yard apes
try the back?

Did you try it?No.

I'm sorry this isn't
too comfortable for you.

No, it's OK.

It should get you through the airport.
It's about 20 grand.

I'm gonna start you off light
and send you the rest.

Well, 20 grand's good
where I come from.

That's a year's salary.

Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah.

We did it.

Well, YOU did it.

Oh, here. Geppetto wanted me
to give you this.

It's your fake ID.

So my name's
Michael McKinney now?

McKinney, yeah.
He's actually a real person.

He's friends with Geppetto.
Oh, here.

He gave us his birth certificate

to give to you too,
so take that.

Oh, here, this is a disguise
I made for you

for leaving the country
or whatever.

OK, you ready to go?

Oh... Oh.

Gosh, yeah, I'm sorry
about those contacts again.

I thought 'anaconda'
was a brand name.

No, I like it.
This is a topshelf disguise.

I look like if Jesus and a cat
had a baby.

Yeah, you do, kinda.Yeah.

Which is a nice thought too,
you know?

It is. Well, he made cats, so...He made cats.

I don't know
why you wouldn't have

a halfJesus/halfcat around.

I guess this is hasta la muerte.

Remember to call that pay phone
every Tuesday and Thursday.

Don't forget.Yeah.

Oh, no.
Are they irritating your eyes?

They're getting all cloudy.

I think that has
everything to do with my heart

rather than my eyes, Kelly.

OK.

Thanks.
You're a good kisser.

Am I?Yeah, you actually are.

Well, there will be a lot more
of that down in Mexico, OK?

143, Kelly Campbell.

143.

Your attention, please.

Smoking is not permitted
in the airport

except in designated areas.

Hold it right there, sir.
Right there.

OK, you're good to go, sir.

Have a good day.

$16.78.

I thought I had it.

I just...

My bad.

I have cats.

Well, folks,
we've reached our cruising altitude,

so I've gone ahead and switched off
the 'fasten seatbelt' sign.

Should be smooth sailing
for quite some time.

Alright, what we got?Company van's missing.

Signs of a violent exit.

Suspect took three surveillance tapes,
left a fourth one behind.

Could be toying with us. What do
we know about this David Ghantt?

Does he have anybody?Fiancée, Jandice Gartrell.

Well, let's go talk
to this Miss Jandice.

Let's rock'n'roll.

Yeah.

A fortune is missing
from a regional bank

and so is the guard
assigned to protect it.

Employees at the Loomis Fargo
armoured car...

What?Daggum.

What?

$17 million.Are you sure?

Police are calling it one of
the largest cash heists ever

on American soil.

$17 million!$17 million!

Authorities are now searching
for this man,

Loomis guard David Scott Ghantt
of Kings Mountain.

He is 5 feet 8 inches tall,
medium to stocky build,

blue eyes, a beard, bangs
and shoulderlength hair.

Get off my... Get off!

Get it off!

Eel attack! Oh! Eel attack!

Whoo!

OK, you get the gist.

Miss Jandice, I'm so sorry.

I know it's gonna take you
a little time

to process through all of this,
of course.

I understand, but any details
that you can give us

regarding your fiancé's whereabouts?

Or his motives?

It appears he fled the state, ma'am.
Possibly the country.

I never liked David.

So, um,
where you staying?

I'm at the Pantano.

It is a 5star hotel
with a minibar.

It's got premium cable TV.
I mean, the whole works.

Ooh, fancy man.

I mean, you'd love it down here.
You gotta get down here.

It's something else.
When are you getting down here?

Soon. Yeah, real soon.

I should be there pretty soon.

Oh, good. Well, I miss you
like crazy, I really, really do.

You know,
Bonnie needs his Clyde.

Oh.

Well, I have to run and pick up
some tissue for my grandma.

'Bye, David.OK. 'Bye.

What are you doing?

It's time to cut David Ghantt
from the team.

What?
What are you talking about?

I'm talking about...

What? You're turning him in?!Yeah, I'm turning him in.

'Cause if they don't
find someone,

they're gonna be looking
for everyone, alright?

That's an extra three milsky
for both of us.

No, I am not letting you do this.

OK, David Ghantt is my friend.He's my friend too, Kelly, OK?

I've gotten to know David
through this process also.

You don't think
this isn't hard for me?

My heart is literally breaking
right now.

Look, we can't do this, OK?
This is wrong!

No, I'll tell you what's wrong.

David leaving the tape
in the vault.

That was wrong. He screwed up.

What if he gets caught, huh?
He's gonna say something.

He's gonna end up
talking about you and me.

What's he gonna say?
He's never seen my face.

He doesn't know my name.
All he knows is Geppetto.

Yeah, but...

He's not gonna say anything
about you, Kelly.

I mean, the guy's
head over heels.

And I know that makes you feel guilty,
and I feel guilty too.

David's drowning,
and if we're not careful,

he's gonna pull us under
with him.

It's like the three of us
were on a yacht, OK,

and he ignored the captain,
got too close, fell in,

and now he's drowninghe's waving to us.

And I'm trying to keep you
from going in after him,

or it's three people drowning.

We gotta say goodbye
and let him go under,

knowing that we're gonna
circle back and get him.

You know, like in 15 years,

whatever the federal mandatory
sentencing guidelines are

for bank robbery.

And by the way,
we're talking about federal prison.

You gotta think of, like,
a community college

with, like, a big fence around it,

and maybe some snipers.

But they're playing softball,
they're typing.

They're learning things.
There's crafts, there's archery.

I'm not kidding.
That's what it's like.

And I wouldn't be surprised if
David is giving us both like,

"Thank God you guys did that.
Attaboy."

This is for the best of the team.
Let me do this.

Man!

Buenas tardes.

Soy Raydel Quintero, Interpol.

Gracias. Vamos.

Give me a break!

How you doing, George?

The ice machine on five's
not working.

Pardon me?

The ice machine by my room,
it ain't working.

We'll have it fixed right away,
Mr. McKinney.

OK, thank...

Gringo!

Gringo!

Hey! Wait right there!
Wait, wait, wait!

No, no, no,
no, no, Michelle.

We gotta stick to the plan, OK?

We cannot start attracting
attention to ourselves.

Yeah, we made
millions of dollars.

We got it,
but we agreed to lay low.

Baby, I am not asking
for a whole new wardrobe.

I just want a little blouse.I know, but I gave my word.

...and a little skirt
to go with it.

You know my word's my bond,
Michelle.

Steve, Stevie, Stevie, Steve.What?

I mean, think about
all those people

been holding us down
our whole lives,

saying terrible things about us,

that we're dumber than
a suitcase full of buttholes.

Who said that?That our car's broke down.

That our kids are
the ugliest kids in the park.

Dang it, one blouse,
but that's it! Alright?

That's it! One little thing.That's all I want.

Just one little thing, baby,
to celebrate.

And maybe just a little,
you know,

like, a little something
for the boys.

No, no. Now, Michelle, please,
don't push it.

I'm not gonna do anything
for the kids.

They gotta learn that presents

just don't show up
under a Christmas tree.

I mean, I'd like
to see these turkeys

go out and earn $17 million.

Wouldn't even know
where to begin.

We'll take it.

Yeah!You did it!

Yeah! We did it!

Take a look at that phone
and tell me what you see.

A phone?I know.

But what's it not doing?Ringing?

Which probably means that
our amigo south of the border

is otherwise occupied
by the Mexican Federales now.

Do you think he's OK?He's fine, he's fine.

He's gonna be
in a Mexican prison.

It's not some hellhole
like everyone makes it sound.

They're gonna be serving
good food.

It'll be simple peasant foodtortillas, frijoles.

We'd be lucky to get that food
up here in el norte.

It's authentic there.

Dammit!

Oh, what do I do?
What do I say?

Pick it up, but if it's him,
find out where he is.

OK, but this time
get the room number.

Hello?DAVID: Hey, Kelly?

Oh, David, you're OK.

I mean, you're...
How are you? Are you OK?

Well, good and not so good. I
had the Mexican police after me.

Oh, you're kidding.Had to make myself a disguise.

I look like Gene Shalit
from 'The Today Show'.

Locationfind out where he is.

You tell me
how it's going down here.

So, um, where are you exactly?

Cozumel. It's an island
right off the coast a ways.

Kelly, when are you coming down
here anyway?

I mean, I'm getting
a little light in the wallet.

I might need a reup.

Well, if the Mexican police
are after you,

then I should probably
be careful, you know?

The airports are probably
swamped with security and stuff.

Steven Eugene Chambers.

What? How...?

How do you know his name?

Steve Chambers.

Um, listen, we're gonna just

keep calling him Geppetto,
though, OK?

This is Geppetto? Ha! Ha.

Well, he doesn't look anything like
I thought he'd look.

He looks like Ric Flair's
little boy.

OK, well, listen,
I gotta go, OK?

'Bye, David. 'Bye.

Kelly, hold on one sec. Kelly!

Dammit! Did he say my name?
Does he know who I am?

Kelly?Yes.

You told him.I didn't!

Did you tell him?!I did not tell him!

Then how? He'd have to know it
through you!

Something about a wallet!
It's not my fault!

So...
who y'all want me to kill?

Whoa! Oh, Mike...

No, no, no, no,
we'll talk about it later.

Not now. Not in front of...

Oh, I see.

Is it one of them?

What? No! Mike, Mike...

Boys, get upstairs right now.

Now!

Mike, you...
you dropped something.

Oh. Pardon me.

Well, you know what, I think
we can go right to the meeting.

We don't have to wait
to get into my office.

I'm gonna give you a picture
of the guy I wanna show you

so you know
who you're looking for.

Hmm.You think you can handle that?

Now, I gotta say, I don't know
his exact location,

so you're gonna have to do
a little bit of intel.

Mmhm. I don't mind the hunt.

I bet you don't.

And when you get there,
just be patient,

bide your time,
wait for a clean shot.

Wait a minute.

Shot?

You mean I gotta use a gun?

Yeah. Why, is that a problem?

No.

No, I was just...

You know, I just prefer
to use a blade.

Do you?Or a rusty piece of piano wire.

Something to choke him.

'Cause I like the struggle.

I prefer it.

'Cause when I take a life,
I like to take it.

It ain't your life no more.

It's my life.

It's my life.

How you doing, Mr. Robertson?
I'm with the FBI.

You look like you're with
the WNBA.

Excuse me?I told everybody already.

I don't know why he took
the money or where he at.

Sit your ass down!

17 million is missing. 17!

That's federal agent money.
That's MY money!

And I'm not about to have
my pocket picked.

No, no, siree Bob!

Especially by this cat
right here.

Look at him. Look at him.

He look like Kenny Rogers
and Kenny Loggins had a love child.

And then Kenny G, he just
showed up to the birthday party,

started playing a flute
and messed this boy up.

I know Ghantt had help
on the inside.

Yeah, and you know what, bruh?
You'd better start talking.

If we don't find out
who stole that money,

we gonna lock somebody up.

You know who that is?
This dude right here.

Yep. It's a nice picture,
ain't it?

Yeah, they're gonna love you
in jail, dude.

What do you want from me?

Well, I want you
to start talking.

Tell me who he was close to.Nobody.

'Cause I know you know. You do.Nobody.

Who was he close to, man?
I know you know!

Wait, wait. There was a girl.
There was a girl.

There was a girl,
she quit about a month ago.

About a month ago.
Is that right?

Had a real white girl name.White girl name.

Like Becky, Susie, uh, Katie.
Katie!

Katie?It was Katie. Definitely Katie.

Katie Caramel.
Katie Caramel Corn.

Katie... No. Katie Candy...
Cane... Katie Candy Cane?

Katie Candy Cane.
What is she, a stripper?

I don't damn know.

Katie Candy Cane,
I'm coming for you, baby.

Yep, you and all
your stripper friends.

I was wondering if you had
an American man staying there.

He... Um...
How would I describe him?

He's, um, got a lot
of body hair.

He's kinda short.

Um, looks like
one of the 12 apostles.

You have three men
that are staying there

that fit that description?

OK, well, can I please leave
a message for all three of them?

Thank you.

Um, I'd like to say,

um, "Someone is trying
to murder you."

Yes. Yes.
Thank you so much.

Mmhm.

Mmhm.

What about that one right there?

This gun has secrets.
Don't it?

Don't you?

I don't speak Spanish.

I'll take that one, please.

Yeah, my... my lady friend
is coming down to Mexico.

We're looking to get married.

I don't want to jinx
the honeymoon, but...

What was that?

Hey, you OK, buddy?

Hey! You gonna run or what?

Steve don't want me to
chase you, but I prefer it.

Go! I said run!

Here we go!

Go, go, go!
Por favor, go!

Don't stop! Oh!

Go! Muy rapido,
muy rapido, go!

Go faster!
Go, go, go! Faster!

Not that fast!
In the middle!

Watch the llama! Argh!

Slow down a bit! OK!

Look out!

Yeah!

Keep going, keep going,
keep going!

Go straight.
Keep going straight!

No, not to the right!

David?

I thought
I'd never hear your voice.

I was...Are you OK?

Well, I mean, a man is trying
to murder me here.

They chased me
all the way around town.

A big old pervertlooking guy.
I think he's trying to kill me.

I don't know
if he's done with me,

but I don't know
what's going on.

David, look, I'm sorry.
Steve just... he panicked.

You weren't ever supposed
to know his real name.

And I just...
I tried to send you a message.

I tried to warn you
he'd do something.

Steve said he was gonna
try to kill me?

Why would he, if he knew
you and me was lovers?

That don't make any sense!

OK, well... the truth is...

...I don't believe Steve was ever
gonna send you any money.

And he's been playing you
the whole time.

And I swear I never knew
his intentions, I swear.

David?

What were your intentions,
Kelly?

Um...

I don't know.

I guess I just figured
you'd go down to Mexico

and order a round of daiquiris
with flowers in them

and meet a little mamacita
and forget all about me.

But... you didn't.

No, no, Kelly, you was gonna be
my mamacita.

I don't know what to say...

David, you are
such a wonderful person.

You have to know
that I think that.

Just shut up, Kelly!
Just shut up!

David...

You always told me to stand up
for myself. Well, here goes.

You are a manipulator
of human emotions.

And I never, ever want to talk
to you again.

Wait, Dav...

There we go.

Oh. Look who's awake.

Hey, whoa, whoa.
What's going on here?

I'm accessing the sewer line.

What's going down there?

You mean down here?

That's gonna be you.

You listen to me.
III can pay you.

I can pay you.Oh, yeah? What do you got?

Give me that.

Let's see what kind of scratch
we're talking about.

5, 20, another 20...

I'll get you more. OK?

$48.II got... I can get you more.

I don't know if this is
going to be enough. You know.

Yeah. That's too bad.
I was open to negotiation.

But at this point, I reckon
I'm just gonna have to do it

the way I'd already
dreamt about it.

Hey, uh, listen here.
You listen here.

Wait. Hey, hey, hey. Easy.

Where do you think
you're going, huh?

Anywhere you're going from now,
I'm gonna send you, OK?

You ain't got nothing
to worry about

travelwise now, mister, uh...

...Michael McKinney.

Your name's Michael McKinney?

Yeah.

Michael Aaron McKinney?

Yeah.

Dang.

They never told me.

That's my name too.

What...? Where'd...?

You were born
on May 8, 1961, huh?

Uh, not... Yeah.In, uh, St Francis Hospital?

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee?
Is that right?

Yeah. Uh, home of Dollywood.

Your name
is Michael Aaron McKinney.

Yeah.

Me name Michael Aaron McKinney.

I don't know what that means,

but what I do know is that God
or the galaxy

has brought us together.

Yeah.

This means you ain't gonna
cut me up, right?

Forgive me, Michael.

You gotta forgive me, please.

Oh, I do.

I forgive you.

Just like that.

Please.

Hey, you ever see
'The Parent Trap'?

That Walt Disney film with
that... that Hayley Mills lady?

That was a powerful flick.
I remember that movie.

About how them two girls,
they raised separately,

but then they meet each other
at summer camp

and it blows
their tiny minds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's kind of
how I feel right now.

Yeah. Yeah.You know what I'm wondering?

Seeing as we was born in the
same hospital on the same day...

Yeah.

...we must have been
right next to each other

in that little
baby place, right?

That makes sense, yeah.

Well, maybe at some point,
I turned and looked at you

and you rolled over,
you... staring at me,

and even though our eyes
was all gooey and whatnot,

we made a promise to one another
right then and there

that we'd find each other again
some day.

Yeah, yeah. I reckon we did.

Yeah.Yeah.

I like you, Michael McKinney.
And I'm awful glad we met.

Yeah. I'm glad we met too.
Been a pretty good hang.

Sleep tight, little brother.

Miss Campbell, how long
did you know David Ghantt?

Um... I don't know. Around four months,
I guess. Mmaybe five.

And during the time that
you were partnered with him,

did he seem restless?

No. Not that I remember. No.

I mean, I... I don't really
know him too well. So...

Huh. Miss Campbell...Look. Um...

I know you're just two good men
doing a difficult job,

but, uh, I only worked there
for a short while, and...

You know, maybe you should talk
to someone who worked at Loomis

at the time that David Ghantt
committed his atrocities.

Well, that's what we did.
And you know what they told us?

They said, "Talk to Kelly Campbell.
They were close."

They even led us
to believe

that David Ghantt may have
held a torch for you.

Huh?That he was in love with you.

That's crazy.

Please.

Miss Kelly, you... you alright?

Yeah. I just have, um,
some seasonal allergies.

Think I'm allergic
to those flowers or something.

Plastic flowers?Yeah.

It's the craziest thing.
Will you excuse me for a minute?

She called me a dude.

Damn it! Can...
Can somebody get the...

Hello?Yeah. This Steve Chambers?

Hhow'd you get this number?Mike McKinney had it on him.

Where's Mike McKinney?

That ain't
none of your business.

OK, DDavid, take it easy.No, you take it easy.

I opened a Mexican bank account
and here's what I expect.

Now, wait a second, Ghantt!
Hold it!

I expect $6 million down there
two days from this very second.

I'm starting to feel like
a corn dog at a hot dog party,

and it ain't flattering,
I'll tell you that!

And I'm starting
to lose my temper.

David, II don't know
what you think is happening,

but I am not your enemy, OK?

Listen to me.

The name of the bank
is Banco Lujo.

If there ain't
$6 million in there

two days from this very minute,

I will turn myself in
to the interpolice

and yours will be
the first name I give 'em.

Ghantt! Sonofa... God!

Whoo!

How we doing in there?Oh. I'm good. Thank you.

Well, look at this.

That wouldn't even begin
to cover mine.

You know, something I learned
about thongs the real hard way,

this little string
can be kinda like

a freight train
transporting bacteria

from your whonow
down to your whatnow.

All aboard.

Next stop,
Yeast Infection City.

I don't want
to get off there.

And don't get me started
on the chafing.

But just in case, I always carry
a good feminine cream.

This one's mine.
It's prescription.

Oh, that's a big tube.It doesn't take your vag away.

Just the horrendous itch.

Thank you. I'll, uh...
I'll be sure to pack some with me.

It's you.Jandice.

You're David's mistress
from work.

He had a picture of you
in his hope chest.

No, no. That's not me.

You're a skank whore!KELLY: Get off of me!

I'll never let you go.Is everything OK?

Uh!

Ah! Stop!

No!

No! Not the Vagaway! No!

They don't make it anymore. Ugh!

No!

You're crazy!

I'd like to make a withdrawal,
por favor.

It is empty, señor.

It's empty? Do you mind...

Do you mind checking
one more time, por favor?

What?!

Hello. Interpol.
Agent Steve Chambers.

Haha! Some joke!

Unlike you, Chambers,
I happen to be a man of my word.

Guess where I'm standingright in front of the police station.

And guess what
I'm getting ready to do

introduce myself.

Well, you gotta do
what you gotta do, Ghantt,

but, uh, before you do, can you
say a quick hello to somebody?

David, it's me. I'm fine!
Don't tell him anything!

That's enough.
Shut her up.

I think you will
recognise that voice

as belonging to
the lovely Kelly Campbell.

I ain't got no interest
in talking to her.

Is that right? I know all about
your little rendezvous.

Rendezvous?

Cut the crap, Ghantt!

I just caught Kelly
with her bags packed,

sneaking down to Mexico.

Had a ticket to Cancún
and was halfway out the door.

She was?

You're not gonna see
Kelly Campbell

for a good long while,
'cause she's gonna be living

in a toolshed on my property,
eating dog food

and peeing in a Mason jar.

Put Kelly on the phone
right now!

Second thing. You're gonna get
a oneway ticket to South America.

OK? 'Cause there's
too much heat down there.

Once you leave, once the heat's off,
we'll let Kelly go.

You do anything to Kelly,
I'm gonna be really upset!

You got my word.
I won't harm Kelly.

Have a good one.

Policia!

Ho!

Startled you, huh?

Hey. Come on, now.
There we go.

Oh, boy. Oh, look at that.
Your heart's really beating hard.

Jeez, Louise. I really scared
the heck out of you, didn't I?

You OK? I'm choking.

You alright? Want me to get you
some horchata?

That's alright. I'm just choking on...
choking on my cholo.

Well, what are you doing?

You know, just heading back
to the States. Got another job.

No kidding. What are you doing?Tax preparation.

Oh, are you? That's nice. Yeah.Yeah.

No, I'm just fooling.
Yeah. It's gonna be more murder.

Oh, is it? OK. Yeah.Yeah, you know.

Yeah.Gotta do what I do.

Yeah. OK.

Gotta dance with
the one that brung you.

Good news is this one's
gonna be a turkey shoot.

Oh, yeah?Yeah, yeah. Some woman.

Oh, good! Ladies are easier.Yeah. Much easier.

Don't put up much of a fight.Oh!

Yeah.

Well! That's me.

Is it? OK.Yeah. What about you?

Where you headed?I'm going down to, uh, Rio.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big butt central.

Yeah! Big butt central.
Yeah.

I hear the women down there
have big cabooses, you know?

Yeah.No, I guess the women do too.

Yeah, it's true. Yeah. O...Huh.

OK, now.Best of luck to you in the...

You know, the...Killing for money?

Yeah.I appreciate you.

Alright.
That's real nice of you.

OK. Have fun. Travel safe.Yeah.

Hey, Mike.
Vaya con dios, compadre.

Hey!

Hold on. You know this gal?
You know Kelly Campbell?

That's what I've been trying to tell you.
She's my girlfriend.

Oh! Michael,
I can't kill your woman.

No, you can't kill
my girlfriend.

Shoot!

Hey.What?

You want to go
to Rio de Janeiro?

You mean switch places,
don't you?

I do.

Like a couple
of Hayley Millses. Yep.

I surrender.

Ow! God almighty!

Hey. Come here. Hey!

You listen to me.
You be careful up there, OK?

That Steve can be trouble.
Go! Go!

I can be my own trouble
sometimes, you know?

All passengers
are limited to two carryon items.

I'm positive, Steve.
He never got off that plane.

No!

I'm coming to you now.

Hi!

We've been watching
Steve and Michelle Chambers

for some time now in connection
with the Loomis Fargo heist.

We got evidence
of crazy bank transactions.

Wild shopping sprees.No kidding.

But what we don't have
is a confession.

That's where you come in.

Well, from the day they moved in,
I told Doug there was no way

that those people
came by that money legitimately.

Cathy's always had a keen sense of
who belongs and who doesn't.

Maybe it makes me a snob.

What it makes you, Mrs. Jeffcoat,
is a patriot.

Now, we're gonna be listening

to everything
you and Steve talk about.

So try to get him to show you
around the compound.

You know what I mean?
Butter him up.

Make him feel like
he's part of the clan.

Get him to reveal his secrets.WOMAN: Yes.

Mr. Jeffcoat.

If you could breathe through
your nose, not your mouth,

it'd be great
for the recording.

Yeah, I could do that.

Hi! Look. It's the Jeffcoats.
Welcome.

How you doing, boss?Steve.

You doing OK?DOUG: Yes.

What...? What is wrong with him?
Why does he sound like that?

It's a booger whistle.It's...?

His mucus has dried
into the shape of a whistle.

What... Really? Yes.

Come on. Let's get in here.

I'll, uh,
show you where the bar is.

Come on. Here we go.

Hi. Bonjour. Welcome.

Well, hi, neighbour.
Isn't that a lovely little basket?

There's a gift... Alright.
Well, enjoy Neptune's Conch.

I'll take that.

Wait. Wait a second, now,
Ghantt.

Please. Please don't shoot.
I've got kids.

Do your kids know that you're
a lying, cheating sack of filth?

I just haven't found
the right moment to tell them.

David?

David, speak to me!I'm right here, sugar bush, OK?

Don't worry about a thing.David, how'd you find me?

I'd smell your scent
anywhere, OK?

Oh!

Lord, that's a cheap door.
OK, hold on!

Oh... Baby.

You gotta give me
a 3count next time.

Oh!

I'd like to welcome you all

to our housewarming party.

Thanks, y'all. Oh, my gosh.

We've put together
a little montage

to celebrate
our last two wonderful months...

...here at Cramer Mountain.

Steve, he's ruining everything!

Hey! What are you doing?
Are you stoned?

You think this is funny?
This isn't funny!

Ow! He's here!Who's here?

David Ghantt is here!Runny, shut up!

I'm up here, you big dingdong!

Hey, Steve. I guess
you just messed with the...

You...

Steve's BMW Miata?
He'll kill you.

Yeah. Well, let him try.

No! No!

No! My Geo! No! No!Attagirl!

My heart is going 200 miles an hour,
but we're only doing 45!

David, be careful!

Brace your boobies.What?

Sometimes
the only way out...

...is through.

No! No, no, no, no! David!

Gotcha! Come here.

Ghantt, I pray to God
you're not concussed,

'cause I want you to remember
every second of this beatdown!

Lord have mercy, Steve.
Give me a little bit of respect!

Respect? For what?Why...

I mean, I'm the mastermind
of this heist.

The mastermind?
You think you're the mastermind?

David, I want you to remember
one thing.

You were never anything more
than a delivery boy.

And if I'd had more time
and enough jerky treats,

I'd have trained my dog to go
in there and fetch that money.

Now, who came up with the plan?
Me! Steve!

Who laundered the money?
Me! Steve again!

And who sent Mike McKinney
down to Mexico to murder you?

Me, me, me.Got you!

Got it, Steve.
Loud and clear.

You're going to jail.

How you holding up?I'm doing alright, considering.

My stretch starts tomorrow

down at Butner Low
or something like that.

Yeah, I heard.

I'm gonna be at the Federal
Prison Camp over in Alderson.

You robbed a bank for me.

Oh, I'd rob a million banks for you,
Kelly Campbell.

I would.

I'd rob a funeral home for you.

There's probably not
a lot of money in it, but...

You get my drift.

Hey, let's make a promise.

Yeah, what?

When we're in prison...

...let's keep our bangs.

I was hoping you'd say
something like that.

I promise.

I'll miss you, Kelly Campbell.

I'll miss you too.

Kelly wrote me every week
of my sentence.

I spent my next seven birthdays
behind bars

for my part
in the Loomis Fargo heist.

Now, the old David Ghantt,

he would have been scared
about going to prison.

Many of these guys are in here
for murder, you know?

But the new David Ghantt,
he was ready to man up.

Fortunately, I never had to.

Turns out
I had stolen more cash

than any American in history.

I was a legend
in the big house.

I was a legend in my city.

Is it true that nearly $2 million
remains unaccounted for?

Next question.

And I became a legend
in the nation.

Suspects are under arrest tonight
in one of the biggest

armoured car robberies ever
in this country,

what the FBI says
was a $17 million inside job

by a former driver.

One of the biggest
armoured car heists ever

more than $17 million.

But get this

$2.6 million of the money
is still unaccounted for.

I mean, robbing a bank
and having a bunch of money

ain't the key to happinessI was misguided.

But I will say this.

Until you take
a big chance in life,

you never really find out
who you are.

Mikey?

Look at your hair!Oh, I know, I know.

Yeah! There you go.

I've been getting that a lot
these days, yeah.

Yeah. It looks nice.Thank you.

I appreciate that from you.So is your car.

That looks nice too.Oh! Oh, yeah.

This right here,
you've got a 1974 Cadillac.

The hell's that?!

Well, I never really
caught his name.

I did get all his teeth, though,
which is good.

Oh!

Yikes!

And that is why you don't go jogging
around prisons, huh?

Come on. Hop in.

OK, Mr. McKinney,
where we going to?

I'd like to go see
my girl Kelly.

Mmm! I like that.

A little booty call
straight out of prison, huh?

Yeah! Yeah. Oh!
Yeah, yep, yep. Whoo!

Action!

You can't do that
with your eyes.

You can't do that
with your eyes!

He was coming in to kiss me.I know. I was like this.

I'm not gonna watch you do this.

Cut. And reset.

And... action.

When you're in Mexico,
you may have to

live off the land
for a little bit, OK?

Ugh.

Oh...

Cut.

I'm, like... Kristen's gagging.
I hear everybody...

Vroom, vroom.

I mean, I'm not really sure
why we're in this position.

Look under the hood.

Fix the carburettor.

Find the muffler and fix it.

Ow.

Figure I'd learned my lesson.

And action.

How you been?

Good. Yeah.Hair looks good.

Yeah. My friend Ricki
cuts my hair.

Just cut my bangs
last week.

Yeah, Ricki banged me out last time.

Yeah, Ricki banged me last time.

If the Mexicans catch Ghantt,
he can finger us all.

And I don't want to be fingered
by David Ghantt, OK?

I trusted you.

Are we still rolling?MAN: Yeah.

Oh, we are?Yeah.

Think I've been wrong about men
my whole life,

till I met you.

No, put it in.
No, no, no, your tongue.