Original subtitles

Yachting runs on leadership,

teamwork and respect,

and that starts at the top.

I can’t have what happened last year

with my heads of department at each other.

And now you’ve been a dickhead.

I’m being a dickhead?

You have been so unorganized.

-Stop what you are doing. -Please.

Now.

Well, someone needs to take control.

Yeah, but that’s your job.

Don’t ----ing talk to me!

This season, I need professional,

seasoned heads of department.

There’s no room for chaos out here.

Everyone needs to know their role and execute.

So that’s why I brought you all here together.

Ben, I don’t micromanage, but I do have high standards.

Good. Love it. Love it. Love it. Like it.

I want service now immediately.

We need spinach. Spinacci now.

We need to grate some parmesan. Very important.

I don’t expect just good. I want exceptional.

That pork belly is delicious.

It’s delicious.

I have been cooking since I was four.

Yeah.

Joao, you’re a captain now. You’ve earned your stripes.

I want you to lead your team with structure

and experience and the discipline

that’s required on deck.

Good is not good enough.

We need to make sure that everything

is where it’s supposed to be.

Get your ----ing energy back up. Come on.

I’m here to make it as easy for you as possible.

Daisy, you’re the chief stewardess.

You are the one to set the standard.

I need attention to detail.

Toilet paper needs replacing. It’s too small.

Check the stainless steel in the mirror.

The tissue box needs to be done.

I need professional luxury service.

-This is so sexy. -Oh my God!

-Nice to meet you. -Yeah, you too.

You two haven’t met?

-No. -No, never met.

You know Joao?

You’ve worked together before.

I’ve worked with Captain Sandy a long time ago.

You guys are the best of the best.

That’s why I brought you guys all here together.

There’s no room for egos.

Daisy, I think we’re done here.

Absolutely ----ing fine.

Figure it out on yourself.

Joao has got an agenda with Daisy.

That’s a problem.

I mean, he’s meant to be my friend.

I’ve had your back. That’s it.

That friendship has gone because we made it personal.

We need to work as a team.

But if you keep going around like that,

it’s just going to be fail, fail, fail.

You guys have been here before. You’ve walked this path.

If we just know we’ve got each other’s back,

and we’re here to support each other

and really blow this out of the park.

[bleep] yourself, asshole.

Now [bleep] off, you ----ing wanker.

All right, we have to rename you guys this year.

I can see Joao. He’s the big one.

Daisy’s just poking her head out at the moment

and this is Ben, front forward, ready to go.

This season we’re in Canouan

and I cannot be any more excited.

It’s an exclusive location.

To get here is a mission.

You have to charter your own plane,

but this is where the high end people want to be.

It’s got the largest reef chain in the Caribbean.

It’s a perfect place for some snorkeling.

It has lots of sea life.

We’re down under the Caribbean,

but, you know, down under is a state of mind.

And plus I’m Australian, so down under is wherever I am.

Damn rain.

Wow, look at the boat.

-She’s big. -She is big.

Well, it’s probably got quite a big galley if it’s that beamy.

Love a boat with a big girth, eh?

Yeah.

It has been about six years

since I have worked on a yacht.

But you know what?

The stars have aligned, my little darlings,

and I am here and I am back.

Opa!

If your food was music, you’d be Jimi Hendrix.

Talk to me, baby. Talk to me.

Oh, baby.

Remember, I’m the biggest [bleep] in the world.

If there was a problem, I’d tell you.

I never know which Ben I’m going to get.

I am 50 shades of Ben, babe.

[laughing]

I’m really enjoying my freedom these days.

I have a successful catering company.

However, my personal life has not been quite as successful.

But about a week ago, I did bump into Captain Jason

and I took him for lunch

at the Outback steakhouse because he’s Australian.

It’s the only Australian place I know.

My chef just dropped out just before the season

and Ben was the first solution that came to mind.

He needed a chef and I needed an escape

and I thought, why not?

In essence, we saved each other.

This could be the perfect little distraction,

you know, just a little goodness in my life.

Ooh.

Oh, wow.

-This is big. -Wow, this is really big.

This is massive.

-Oh, [bleep]. -Oh, my God. It’s not.

Oh, yeah. Careful.

Just gripped my nipple hard.

[laughing]

Ooh, uniforms.

Oh, liquid yachtwear.

My last four seasons on Parsifal had so many ups and downs.

I am so ready for a clean slate.

I like to discuss some of the things that went wrong:

clearing of the plates.

Daisy, Daisy, why isn’t this done?

Daisy, what’s wrong with service?

Daisy, I’m so sick of hearing my ----ing name.

You’ll be on your phone and then you come up

and then you shout at us for something

and then I’m like, I’m so...

-I shout at you. -Sometimes.

Oh.

You ----ing could have had me

a million times over and you didn’t want me.

Now that you can’t have me, now you ----ing want me.

I’m so done with this conversation.

I am looking forward to a new phase in my life.

I’ve got new hair.

I’m looking forward to a new crew.

I want you two to share a cabin.

You can pick which cabin you want to be in.

All right.

I’m looking forward to a boat that doesn’t trash itself

every time it hits the open water.

[bleep], [bleep], [bleep].

Bloody hell!

[shrieks]

This is sailing.

No thank you.

You’ve got a whole restaurant galley.

Yeah, yeah, this is major, mate.

I’m going to put my bed in here, I reckon.

[laughing]

Definitely left England.

Attention all HODs.

Hey.

Here’s your crew.

How do these doors open?

Here we go. We’re in.

-Mike’s the deck stew. -Okay, cool.

It’s up to you guys to manage him

and your team and work together.

Yeah, for sure.

Engineering experience so

hopefully he’s got a head on him.

I wonder where everyone is.

Here’s your girls.

You’ve got Jenna and Joe.

Show them the ropes and show them the way.

I know a deck stew always kind of

falls under deck for some reason.

Are you going to be fully managing him

or is he going to come more under interior?

From what I can see, it would be more interior.

This interior is massive.

So what I’m thinking is we use him in the morning,

given the space in the afternoon to rest,

and then you use him in the evening.

I started yachting eight years ago

and I feel like now I have a great reputation.

I mean, I’ve had to kind of make up for my bad reputation.

I’m not asking for a [bleep] juggling thunder [bleep].

come out and be an asshole.

Oh, rewind, rewind.

I pay good money for that sh--. Don’t shove your fingers in it.

I don’t give a [bleep], mate.

Then get the [bleep] out of my galley.

Jesus Christ.

I’m sick of your bullsh-- tonight.

But I’ve grown up now.

Ask me if I’m going to take a position

as an officer on any other boat.

I wouldn’t. I’m a captain.

I’ve got a license to drive any vessel under 3,000 gross ton.

And I do.

But Jason, he’s like a big brother to me and a mentor.

I trust him and I believe that I can learn more from him.

Okay, well, I’m super happy with that.

[vocalizing]

-Hi. -Hi.

-You all right? -Yeah, good.

Nice to meet you, I’m Mike.

I’m Daisy. Nice to meet you.

-Pleasure, Daisy. -What’s your position?

Deck stew.

Oh, you’re deck stew.

Okay, love it.

I am Daisy. I’m your Chief stew.

-Oh, your Chief stew? -Yes.

So I’ll be reporting to you, yeah?

Yes.

Yeah, you’re going to be under my team.

Hi, I’m Jenna. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. -Stunning.

Thank you, you, too.

-This is Ben. -Nice to meet you. How are you?

Yeah, nice to meet you.

I’m a bit of a chatter box me,

so I want to say, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I’m like the big loud outgoing character.

We’ll put you in front of the guests.

-100%. -You’ll entertain them.

Yeah.

I’m an entertainer, I’ll be fair.

-Where are you from? -I’m from South Africa.

-Oh, nice. -And you?

Montreal.

Cool. Me too.

-Hi, I’m Daisy. -Hi.

-Nice to meet you, Jenna. -Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

-I’m Joe. -Joe, nice to meet you.

Welcome.

Oh, yeah. Look at her.

She’s looking pretty good. Pretty good.

This is your chef and bosun.

-This is Ben and Joao. -Hello.

Nice to meet you.

-This is Joe. -And this is Jenna.

Hi. Lovely to meet you.

We have those two boys in here.

-Calm down, mate. -[bleep]

-Man! -I’m just kidding.

All right. All right. Cool.

This might come as a shock to everyone,

but I am actually single.

Fairly recently, I broke up with my fiance,

having spent $50,000 on a wedding I didn’t attend.

It’s odd when your future’s been solidified

for it all to vanish into thin air.

Yachting was a very large part of my formative life.

It’s actually nice to come back to it.

They do say that to get over someone,

you’ve got to find someone else.

I think Katina could be my new girl.

-All right. Sorry. -Oh.

Oh, my goodness.

-Huh? -What did you say?

I said, I’m so happy I don’t sound South African.

Oh, yes.

It’s so expensive to be Jenna.

I work hard, so I can provide for myself.

I love a luxury lifestyle.

I got into yachting because you’re meeting the top 1%.

You surround yourself with the people you want to be,

who you’re associated with,

and that’s who you’re going to become.

Yeah.

It is a long time.

I’m not scrubbing toilets until I’m 30.

What the [bleep]?

-Hiya. -How are you?

Nice to meet you. Oh, give me a hug.

-Okay. It’s Betul. -Eddy.

-Eddy, hi, what a nice name. -What’s your name?

-Um, Betul. -Betul.

Am I saying that right?

-Nice. -Betul.

I’m Turkish.

Betul means virgin, by the way.

-Where are you from? -I’m from New Zealand.

My parents, like, they try to tell me something, you know.

Every time they call me, hey, virgin.

I used to be a Muslim in a strict religious family.

In our culture, women are not seen and not heard.

In our religion, you must not do that, it’s a really big sin.

And I realized I deserve to live a normal life.

-What are you? -Deck.

Oh, yeah. You’re going to be with me?

-Come on. -You?

Yeah, deck.

Thankfully, I found yachting and got away.

I left my house. I left my family. Everything.

And I can do whatever I want.

I’m free. I’m smart.

I am a strong, independent woman.

How long have you been, like, yachting for, then?

I have, like, three-plus years of experiences on deck.

Jeez, you’ve been for a while, then, yeah.

What about you?

I got started yachting in May last year.

So not that long, like, just shy of a year.

Oh, wow. Oh, welcome.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, mate, I love it.

-Hi. -It’s Betul.

Joao. Betul, nice to meet you.

-Sorry? -Eddy.

-Jonow? -Joao.

-Joanow? -Yeah, no "now."

-Joao. -Yeah.

Wow.

[laughing]

Close.

I don’t know, this knife might not be big enough

to cut this cheese.

[laughing]

Home sweet home. Yeah.

I know where the bridge is.

So get your rooms, get your uniform, and let’s go.

You couldn’t come in the conventional way.

How are you?

Welcome back.

Thank you for having me.

You’re in here first on the left.

Next one.

Woo! Man, I need a piss.

-Good to be back. -Welcome back.

Yeah. Gosh.

Just when I thought I saw the last of it.

-Have you met the chef yet? -No.

He knows what he’s doing.

He’s English, he’s got good banter

and that galley I can see will have a great vibe.

[grunts] [bleep]

If you can keep that sassy banter going,

-he’ll just love it. -Perfect.

This season being back in the galley,

it gives me a lot of anxieties, to be honest.

At the end of last season,

I had all the ambition to go to culinary school.

You can do it from the other side,

go down and then pull it out.

Practice this movement as well.

Is there any technique for making them all the same?

Consistency and practice.

and then when I told my mum about culinary school,

she was just like, like, "Come off it, Alesia.

"You’re never going to be a chef.

Let’s just do something that you’re good at."

And I’ve spent my whole adult life

trying to decide what that is.

So I didn’t go to culinary school.

I didn’t do anything to do with cooking.

But my goal is definitely to prove something to myself

and to my mum that I can do this.

-Alesia. -Pleasure to meet you.

Yeah, you too. Ben.

Nice to meet you, Ben.

I’m just getting to grips with this place.

-I’m not trained. -Yeah, yeah.

I’m just passionate.

We can broaden your horizons, I reckon.

Hopefully.

Attention, heads of departments. Joao, Daisy and Ben.

Can you meet me in the crew mess for a preference sheet meeting?

I’m going to get changed so I can see help.

Yeah, yeah. Please do.

Copy for Daisy.

-Hi! -Look at you!

-Alesia. -Betul.

Okay, so it’s preference sheet.

Charter one.

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

We’ve got Heather Gay, Whitney Rose, Meredith Marks,

Lisa Barlow, Bronwyn Newport, Mary Crosby,

Britani Bateman and Angie Katsanevas.

I met Heather and Sydney once.

And they’re all used to a quality,

ultra-rich, luxury, high standard.

They’ve been on yachts before

and traveled the world enjoying life.

To the best day ever.

[cheering]

They’re going to come from a place that

they want good service.

I don’t think I like this.

Oh, yeah.

Excuse me. She needs to leave.

I’m the hostess of the dinner and I’d like for her to leave.

Bloody hell.

They are going to be high demanding.

They’re loud. It’s going to be trouble.

It feels like none of you are supportive

with the good things in my life.

Bronwyn, you are a ----ing bitch.

Shut the [bleep] up, Lisa.

Britani, why are you recording? Insane.

You are vile. You’re recording us?

You don’t like that I’m not just doing

whatever you want me to do.

I don’t give a [bleep] what you do!

Yes, you do.

And I don’t wear my hair like I have a high body count.

You think my hair looks slutty?

That looks like high body count hair.

This does not. That does not. That does not.

Sounds fun.

Might have to build a boxing ring on the top deck.

-It’s a lot of work. -Yeah.

I’m not going to lie. I’m quite anxious.

The Housewives are notorious for being over the top.

They argue. They expect nice things.

Somebody’s going to storm off.

Somebody’s going to cry.

And somebody is definitely going to throw a drink.

This is not going to be easy at all.

Anxiety is like sky high.

Right-o. Thank you very much.

♪ Just do your best ♪

♪ It’s all you can do ♪

Until we figure out where everything is...

I’ll take two microfibers with us.

If you find vinegar, let me know.

Yes.

And then the three of us will have a team meeting.

You’ve got two ton of inflatables.

-AquaBanas. -That’s got to be unboxed.

It’s massive.

-Oh my God. -Oh, I know, yeah, yeah.

Basically, housewives are notoriously uproarious.

Wow.

At least there’s not too many of them.

-Yeah, you got it? -Yeah.

Ooh, sh--. That’s a good start.

Okay, so Jenna, have you been in yachting long?

Going on to two years on private boats.

Joe, what kind of boats have you worked on?

I never did super yachts.

Okay, so small sailboats?

-Yeah, but don’t you worry. -Okay.

I grew up in Canada.

It was cold, so that’s why I ran away.

I went to the Bahamas.

As a teenager, I was terrible.

I used to make fake IDs and selling them in high school.

Always partying, sneaking out.

Poor parents. Oh my God.

Mike is pretty green as well.

Before I got you, I was learning origami swans.

Like, I was doing hospital corners.

Oh, amazing.

So, since I’ve got a bigger team this season,

I want a second stew to help me.

So, Jenna, you have more experience.

You’re going to get the second stew position.

Perfect.

Do you think we should do crew dinner?

-Is that what you think? -110%.

I’ll bust it out with you.

Does anyone know Real Housewives of Salt Lake City?

-Yes. -Yes.

It’s our first charter of the season.

I think it’s going to be a fun, but hectic.

The Housewives of Salt Lake City.

Having a flirt, being a little bit naughty and cheeky.

I’m here to provide a service.

And me giving them a good time is providing a service.

Basically, the gist is whatever the guest wants, the guest gets.

-Cool. -Yeah.

We got this.

-Let’s go. -Let’s go.

Let’s go get one of the nautibuoys.

Okay.

-Or demanding? -Yeah.

It’ll be easier for you to go first.

No. I want you to be first.

-Okay. -Oh, my God.

This is too much.

Caught up, right? She’s got it.

-Yeah. -Like this.

Learn, boys. Learn.

Same thing?

Somebody older. He’s definitely not in yachting.

Okay. So that’s me out the question.

[laughing]

Yeah. I feel like I should behave myself, to be honest.

I can be a bit of a flirt.

-I’m the same. -Oh, yeah?

Having the opportunity to work on Katina as a deck stew,

definitely feels more in tune with my personality.

Right out of college,

I joined the British Royal Navy,

where I got my engineering certifications.

Working in an engine room is like a prison.

It can get quite lonely and boring.

That’s the last place that I want to be

when I could be on the top deck, in the fresh air, sunbathing,

cracking on with the guests.

To be a deck stew.

It’s like, I’m this little jack-in-the-box.

And I’m just trying to get out and get out and get out.

And then someone just let us out.

And I’m free.

Now, 100% I’ve always been the flirting, like, on a night out.

You’re getting free drinks all night.

Exactly.

-You want some rain? -Go for it.

Oh.

No. Missed. Completely missed.

I see us working a little bit more together

than how you were with...

Tzarina.

But what happens if I’m not good enough?

I’m not worried about it.

All dishes, even complicated dishes,

are comprised of simple tasks, you know?

I’ve had more sous chefs than I’d care to mention.

A great sous chef can just handle the prep,

knows how to cook really, really well.

If someone has standards, I actually quite like that.

Because my priority is perfect food.

Yeah, we’ll do that.

Then just put a nice layer of mash on top of that,

and then we’ve got crew dinner.

Sweet.

It is definitely a learning curve.

And it’s a relationship.

I’m here to cook, and I need to figure out if we’re cookable.

Oh, there you go. That’s nice, innit? That’s nice.

All right, good.

-What’s your name? -Jenna.

-Jenna. -Again.

-Jenna, and yours? -Betul.

Like the fruit?

Do you really think that my name is Beetroot?

I mean...

No, girl.

Almost there.

Oh, it’s so pretty.

Yeah, I’m good. Ow.

We’re finished for the evening.

If anyone’s going to mess this up, it’s going to be me.

Deck team, thanks for today.

-Good night, my darling. -Good night.

Oh, sh--.

Blisters galore.

What type of girl do you usually go for?

I don’t know.

That’s tough, because I’ve been single now for years.

Yeah.

So, for example, you’re on a night out, right?

-With this lot here? -Yeah, this lot, yeah.

Who would you typically go for?

-Alesia. -Alesia?

Well... It’s five girls.

The fact is it’s four guys so...

Someone’s unlucky out there.

[laughing]

Growing up, I was very small.

I was always the shortest at school.

And for me, I was quite a late bloomer.

That just sucked.

Being at an all boys’ school where everyone’s talking about,

look at me.

I got hair down there, and I’m like...

It’s not happening yet.

I’ve struggled with body image a lot,

but there was a moment,

there was in a rugby changing room

where I was just like, all these blokes, no one cares.

You’ve all got different shapes and sizes,

and that’s the best thing I love about rugby.

And I very much got a lot more confident in myself.

Now I’m the first one who whips his towel off

and gets in there like, woo!

You’re just screwing the crew for the sake of just a shag?

-Yeah. -Obviously, it ain’t great.

-For sure. -Right, lad.

And on that note, I’m going to go to bed.

All right. Good night.

Morning.

Wakie-wakie.

All of this stuff needs to come out.

-So we need to find a place. -Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

-Lots to do. -Yeah.

-Basic wipe down. -Yeah.

Sun deck, upper deck, main deck.

-Cool, guys. Yeah. -Okay, copy. You’re the boss.

We’re doing brunch for the crew, okay?

Yes, chef.

We still need to find a duvet.

-Yeah. -And we need a wipe down.

We still have the main saloon to vacuum as well.

Yeah.

We need a vacuum here and up there.

Oh, my God.

What is that? That’s a frittata, is it?

Yeah.

It’s going to be fun.

Stupid girl.

[bleep], [bleep], [bleep], [bleep].

Uh-oh.

Is it burnt? What’s happening?

-I’m sorry. -What happened?

-Did we burn it? -It was burning

and not cooking through.

How the [bleep] did that happen? It’s not exactly a great look.

Yeah, babe, we cannot use stainless steel pans,

all right, honeybun?

You need to use a nonstick in future, okay?

With eggs, all right?

Just get it in the trash.

Get some of that egg mix, please.

I usually just cook the bottom and then stick it in an oven.

That wouldn’t have burnt it.

Tremendous teamwork, this guys.

Fantastic.

I’d like you to bear witness to how genius this method is

as opposed to what happened earlier,

which was pretty much the [bleep] up of the century,

in my opinion.

All right, look.

See, this is what we do, all right?

Teach you how to cook. Teach you how to cook.

Ow!

And I’ve just burnt all my hand.

-Which ones? -These ones.

Why are they hot?

Well, they’re underneath, they’re literally boiling.

Okay, all right, just chill. Can you... Ow!

It’s not that bad of a burn, though.

Just take some Advil and then it gets better.

[vocalizing]

I’m just going use the toilet quickly.

All right, thanks. Great news.

Don’t worry about that. Cheers, yeah.

Ooh, that quiche is stunning.

It’s amazing.

Yeah, you did quite a job there, thank you, mate.

It’s amazing.

Nothing wrong with carbs.

I’m embarrassed, I’m insecure.

I am probably having a bit of an identity crisis because...

Not going to culinary school was a huge mistake.

After my mum persuaded me that cooking wasn’t for me,

I found myself in Whistler, Canada, doing a ski season.

I’m falling in love and, yeah,

I just kind of forgot about cooking altogether.

I’ve lost all sense of self.

I need a career, I need a skill set

in order to cement my adult life.

That’s my mission.

Oh, sliders, salad and cheesecake.

[phone ringing]

We just need to pick up the pace as well.

I know that you guys are, but let’s push.

Sound, sound, sound.

[phone ringing]

All crew, all crew, get in your whites for guest arrival.

Why, though? Any reason, man?

The only thing I heard that she burnt her palm,

but I wonder if Ben may have yelled at her.

Seems like the kind of guy.

Zen one moment and then just ----ing...

All chefs are, though.

We’re getting changed now.

I hate this day so much.

My anxiety is, like, through the roof.

Let’s go, bitches.

-Woo-hoo! -Oh, my God.

Oh, my gosh, it’s so pretty.

[bleep] me.

Holy [bleep]. I’m sweating.

Get in!

Let’s get to the ship.

-Fabulous. -Let’s do this.

I’m so excited.

[chattering]

All right.

Start gathering to the main salon in the next five minutes.

-Please, five minutes. -Oh, my God.

[phone ringing]

Hello.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

I think I have your epaulets.

[crying]

Uh, okay.

Okay, give me a second.

Are you okay, Joe?

What’s happening?

A family emergency, and...

Okay, like, do you need to go home?

It’s okay.

Why don’t you stay in here? We’ll be fine.

It’s okay.

It’s been a year he’s sick.

He had, like, a cancer pulmonary,

and it came in the brain.

I feel terrible, but I’m already stressed about my family.

And if I stay here, it’s going to be more and more and more.

Oh, my goodness.

We have arrived.

Look at the water.

Look at this. This is like, insane.

Just sit down, sit down.

Just calm down. It’s going to be fine.

I don’t like to see people upset.

I don’t like to see people struggle

dealing with family stuff.

That would crush me.

But at the same time, we have a huge charter

with the Housewives coming.

We’re ----ed.

Come on, guys, quicker. Get your epaulets on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Say, look at that! Is that our boat?

Black skirt, black trousers, shoes.

I hate this.

-Hurry up. -I’m swiping my ass.

Okay, let’s go. All in line.

Look at that right here.

Daisy, are you ready? Interior?

-Let’s go. Woo! -Woo!

Okay, get out, get out.

Yay!

I’m so excited.

Joe is leaving.

I think there’s a family emergency.

-Wow. -Yeah.

Look, I’ve been in yachting a long time.

I’ve seen crew come and go during charter,

start of charter, at the end of charter.

Look, we just can’t let this rock the boat.

We need to kick on, be positive, and get through it.

I don’t want her to meet the guests

because it’s just pointless.

This is going to be a long charter.

We’re in very good hands.

Captain Jason, the best of the best.

Right-o, listen.

Joe has to depart us.

She’s got a family emergency.

So have a look at your teammate.

Know that they need an extra pair of hands.

Pitch in everywhere.

If we can’t beat them with hands on deck,

we’re going to beat them with happiness and vibrance, okay?

We’ll get through it.

Oh my God, it’s so beautiful.

-Let’s get out there. -Go team, go.

Two, three, Katina.

[sighs]

Ready to go?

-You two swap. -Yeah.

They’re coming down now.

Oh my gosh. Hi!

Hey girls. Hi Heather.

Hi. Hi. Hi. It’s so good to see you.

Good to see you, gorgeous.

Oh, hi.

-We’re so excited. -What’s your name?

-Joao. -Nice to meet you.

You guys are so cute.

Ladies, we’re going to get you nice and well acquainted

to the boat with Daisy

and we’re going to cruise around for about an hour

and get to a spot and hopefully get you wet,

get you in the water.

Oh, damn.

Captain Jason.

Yeah, the other way around.

-[laughing] -Oh my God. Terrible.

Terrible.

Okay, let’s do it. Let’s go.

[sighs]

-Hi, girls. -Hi.

Oh my gosh.

I do love a good greeting with a cocktail.

[bleep] me, look how many bags they are.

Especially made just for yous.

-This is a margarita shot. -Margarita shot.

-Margarita shot. -I love your accent.

Quickly get changed.

When bitches celebrate, what?

-Rowdy. -How are you looking, mate?

-Are you ready? -Ready.

Okay.

My mind cannot concentrate if I have to be with my family.

You’re doing the right thing. You’ve got to remember that.

I’m going to give you a tour.

-Are we ready? -Yes.

Are there only six of you?

-There’s seven. -There’s seven.

-Okay. -Still one more coming.

Which guest is missing?

-Bronwyn. -Bronwyn.

Okay, we’ll organize transport to bring her up to the boat.

We’ll take Joe off on the starboard side, interior.

Tell me when the main salon is clear.

I’m going to bring you all the way up

to the top of the boat.

Excuse me, Heather’s the primary.

-But I am second prime. -Get up here, wiz-wiz.

-They just left now. -Thank you.

So these are the primary.

-Meredith needs a bathtub. -We need a bathtub.

The two forward have bathtubs.

Okay.

-So sorry. -No, it’s okay.

We will be perfectly fine.

I’m going to spoon Mary in our bed.

No. I’m going to spoon you.

She sleeps buck naked.

Does no one else sleep naked?

-No. -I’m claiming this.

Nope.

Meredith, she thinks she’s claiming it.

-I was in here before. -Bye.

-No, honey. -Two against one.

You guys.

Could you have someone bring our luggage in here, please?

-Yeah, I will. -The two of us.

She needs a bathtub and I’m sleeping with Meredith.

I don’t really get what’s going on right now.

Like, who gets the better room? Who gets the worse room?

Really on this boat, they’re kind of all the same.

Daisy, you’re the boss.

You’ve got to control these animals.

So this is the sun deck.

Oh, wow.

Look at this beautiful view.

-Good luck. -Thank you.

-Everything’s fine, okay? -Thank you so much.

Daisy, this is fabulous.

Okay. Wait, where’s the active volcano?

Let’s start with this one here.

Jenna, Daisy, can you please help with guest luggage now?

-Okay. -You can take all lines off.

Copy that.

Let’s go see.

Let’s go see if you and Bronwyn will survive in this room.

What? I’m sharing with Bronwyn?

You and Bronwyn besties. B is for besties with Bronwyn.

-Come on. -That’s easy.

How do we get outside?

Let’s go up to the top when we take off, right?

Okay.

Port forward lanes in.

Jason, Jason, Daisy.

We have one guests who is late.

We need to organize transport to bring her up to the boat.

Copy that.

That’s all lines off. All lines off.

Perfect. Thank you.

-We’re going. -What’s happening?

It’s happening.

All clear on starboard side.

Yeah, we’re all good, mate.

We can start bringing all fenders in, please.

Oh, that’s heavy.

Throw those lines, boys. We’re ready to set sail.

I would love a Mexican mule with a reposado.

-Okay. -Thank you so much.

All right, guest lunch now.

We’re going to do sliders.

I think we should do a really nice lobster salad.

Okay.

-What’s that for? -That’s cucumber.

-For what? -The salad.

You cut that with a hammer?

-No. -No?

-Chainsaw? -No.

What is it?

I just did it with a knife.

It’s all right, babe.

It’s just, I don’t know if we’re going to use that.

It’s too rough?

Do you want to get changed really quickly?

Yeah.

When we do guest food, just kind of run it past me a little bit,

because, you know, we might put ourselves in a position where

you do something I don’t like,

and you kind of like maybe...

Waste time.

So just let’s just go over. I’m really particular.

Can you guys set up the aft section now?

-Yeah. -Okay.

Jenna!

Oh, my God. Thank you.

We love you so much.

My last one.

Call to Daisy.

Tell hors d’Oeuvres are ready, please.

Daisy, Daisy, galley. Hors d’Oeuvres are ready to go.

Copy.

I’m not going to be into someone if they’re not into me,

-and that’s my struggle. -Jared’s not into you, though.

That’s my struggle with Jared,

is that he’s just not that into me.

We’re on a 30-day break.

Okay, so it’s free game then. Any of these guys?

I would like to hang out with Captain Jason.

So what am I bringing up?

Smoke salmon, buttered crostini,

super simple, green olive tapenade on top.

-Pull up a seat. -Can you bring this up?

It’s smoke salmon, buttered crostini.

We don’t want to hear one word about Jared.

In fact, if you say Jared’s name on this trip,

we’re going to splash you with water.

Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared.

I dare you, I dare you, I dare you.

[laughing]

Yeah, this is smoke salmon, buttered crostini.

You did it!

Why?

Jenna, we’re training her like a cat.

These are the friends I need.

Like, if I ever bring up my ex one more time,

throw water in my face.

You know how you train a cat with a spray bottle?

We’re training Britani.

They don’t know how to show each other love,

but they definitely have each other’s best interests at heart.

I need to get my mind off of a certain someone.

Oh, oh oh!

[screaming] Oh my God!

Extra, just in case.

-Just pull it? -Oh, there we go.

It just wasn’t being strong enough.

Okay.

Oh gosh, they’ve already left.

Wow.

Okie-doke.

Foredeck, tell me when you’re ready

for the port side anchor drop.

Copy that.

Eddy, Eddy, can I have you on forward station?

Yeah, I copy.

Jason, Jason, Bronwyn, the eighth guest.

ETA, about 15 minutes.

Copy.

So I’m going to teach you how to do it.

Yeah.

Drop it to the waterline, secure the brake.

We’ll remove the pressure from this.

Yeah.

We’ll lift it up, and then when he says drop, we drop.

When you’re a captain, you’re looking

for a solid right-hand man.

You can’t have eyes everywhere.

Okay, drop, drop, starboard anchor.

Joao knows how to run a ship.

He knows how to run a charter, and he knows how I think.

To know you’ve got the responsibility and trust there,

it’s a huge lift off my shoulders.

-Four shackles in the water. -Good work.

Copy.

Three, two, one.

Take it down to the bottom section.

-Open it up. -See what we’ve got.

Start pumping it.

Can I get a champagne now?

Champagne? Yeah, of course, I’ll get you some.

How’s your second stew going?

She’s doing really well. Yeah.

Is this the inbound?

Deck crew, deck crew? This is our inbound vessel.

I actually think she’s here. There’s a boat right there.

Is this her? Yeah, and this...

That’s her in that tender!

Bronwyn!

Finally, you’re here!

-Hello, hello. -She’s wearing a floaty.

Just drop her off in the water. She’s got a floaty.

Just the glass champagne. Thank you.

Oh, yeah, well done.

-I’m Jason. -Nice to meet you, Bronwyn.

-Hi. -Pleasure, glass of champagne?

Thank you.

Hi, I’m Daisy.

Do you want me to take your shoes?

Yeah, sure. Those I probably won’t need anymore.

We were doing superlatives.

I’m most likely to go overboard with these women, for sure.

If Katina crashes, we can climb onto Bronwyn.

I swear to God, there’s enough space on that hat for all of us.

Beautiful. Wow.

Oh, okay.

Oh, my God, are you okay?

It takes a minute to get used to a boat, though.

Bronwyn! She’s here!

I made it!

Jenna, Jenna, Daisy,

we can start setting up lunch on the sun deck.

Copy, Daisy.

This is unbelievable.

Thank you.

Um... It’s not very...

It needs to be bigger?

What? No, no, no.

That’s too big, don’t you think? Yeah?

I think the tray’s... the tray’s too big.

I think the leaves are too big, don’t you?

If you were to eat that as a salad,

the middle bits,

just give them a little bit of a chop, you know?

That’s good, thanks.

It’s just a bit, you know. It’s a bit much.

Can I sprinkle the onions on the salad?

Yeah, are you going to dress it?

Dress it? Make the salad as pretty.

Are you going to dress it with, like, dressing?

-Yeah, bits. -Yeah, yeah, leave that.

Mike, Mike, Daisy.

-There we go. -Right.

Mike, Mike, Mike, Daisy.

Daisy, Daisy. We need Mike at the moment.

Copy.

Thanks, we just want to get ahead of the game

and set up ASAP.

Let’s all change and then come back in our bikinis for lunch.

[bleep]. Don’t let it catch the wind, mate.

We’ll be ----ing swimming with it.

-Jenna. -Yeah.

Is there anyone that could come and pack our bags

and, like, get settled into our rooms?

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

I absolutely would love another champagne.

Okay.

-Look. -You brought a stuffed animal?

That’s right.

I am throwing that sh-- overboard.

No. No.

I’m getting a little seasick.

-Heather. -Hold on. I’m sorry.

[shouting]

Jenna, come here.

I’m here.

Will you search the floor?

Yes.

My nipple cover fell off somewhere.

-Okay. -Daisy.

Yeah.

I’m getting kind of sick. I feel like I’m going to barf.

I’ll get you some water now.

What? What? What?

Can I have my stuff brought up in Saint Laurent tan bag

-with a purple bag? -Sure. I’ll go get that for you.

Oh, gosh.

The anti-nausea. I already took one today.

Will you just have them bring my water up?

-Of course. -Thank you.

You’re the best. Thank you.

[vomiting]

Andrea, are you throwing up?

-I did. -Oh, Lord.

I am going to clean the toilets.

These women are unhinged.

All of these demands.

We’ve got nipple covers.

We’ve got all the drink requests.

Joe’s gone. Mike’s on deck.

There’s two of us.

Eight of them, I cannot keep up.

Like, what the actual [bleep]?

All crew, all crew. A nipple cover is missing.

If you see it, please report to me.

These girls are going to be a ----ing nightmare.

She needs some conditioner. Can you help her with her hair?

Did you guys put Dr. Pepper on the boat for me?

Oh, my gosh.

This is really stressful.

-This is ----ing chaos. -Paging Daisy.

Do you have the seasick bracelets?

-Yes, I do. -Can I get one?

And let’s get one for Angie, too.

-She just threw up. -Woo.

[sighs]

Yeah, I’ll be here.

-Here we go. -No, put it on the inside.

Yeah.

Who’s knocking at my door?

Jenna, come in. Did you find the nipple cover?

Slap it on there. Girl!

Let’s go upstairs and lunch right now.

This one’s on the outside. Push it in.

Mate, well done. Well done, guys.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Galley, we are good to go for lunch.

Mike and Jenna, please come down to the galley.

Copy.

Five-star waiter-in-service coming right up.

Let me just reset.

This is the green salad.

Yeah, they don’t like that. Alesia made that.

[laughing]

And then, yeah, we’re going to do chicken tenders.

Going by their preference sheets, they love bar food.

So I’m going to put out sliders.

But I’m also going to be fancy and make

a lovely lobster salad, darlings.

-Hi, ladies. How are yous? -Hi.

-Green salads. -Wonderful.

-Curry lobster salad. -Looks delicious.

Oh, my gosh. The lobster is amazing.

-How are you feeling? -Hmm.

I took an anti-nausea and I threw it up.

-I’m dizzy right now. -I’m sorry.

I need something to put those

chicken tenders in, sweetie, please.

-In or on? -What?

-In or on? -Babe, stop it. Stop it.

You know what I mean.

I need to put something.

I need to put the chicken tenders on something.

Or in something. Whatever. A bowl, whatever the [bleep].

All right, please.

I have no idea what’s going on in Ben’s brain.

It’s like a squirrel that’s on Red Bull

that’s trying to organize one of those pantomime things.

What do they call those dolls?

I can’t read your brain, Ben.

I don’t expect you to. I can’t read my brain, either.

Chop up a lemon, please. Medallions.

That’s how I feel.

Like, I’m on a string doll and I’m just there, like...

I said medallions. I said medallions.

I don’t know what a medallion is.

It’s fine. Step back.

Knife. Thank you.

The ketchup needs spoons in it

and it needs to get out of here, please.

-That’s not that heavy. -No.

Yeah, brilliant.

You guys, it’s our first meal together on the yacht.

Yay!

And Bronwyn’s here.

I’m so hungry. This is amazing.

Chicken tenders, ladies.

We love chicken tenders. Pass those down.

-Sliders. You’re welcome. -Thank you.

So, tell us why you came late.

A lot of stuff went on last week and it upset Todd.

People keep trying to dig in my past

and there’s some nasty things

that have come out in the press

after I’ve hung out with this group.

And I think both of us are concerned

that maybe somebody in this group is doing it.

Nobody would do that here. Nobody.

What is this?

-Are you finished? -All finished?

That sounds like an accusation.

I’m not, I was just trying to say I can’t figure out

where it’s coming from because it would be really

devastating if I sat down and apologized to you.

It wasn’t me.

I was expecting housewives to be very classy and modest.

Like, you’re all, can you take this for me please, dear?

But they just came on like, proper nut jobs.

Who fed it? Who fed my stuff?

Who fed my stuff?

Who was going to the blogs and Salt Lake Tribune?

This is like irritating.

-I’m hot. -Let’s jump in the water.

Let’s refresh. Let’s restart.

Let’s do it all. Okay.

Guests are starting to walk down to the swim area.

Okay, copy.

I want to make a cheesecake for them.

-I can make a cheesecake. -I’d like a cheesecake.

-Oh, you can? -Yep.

We’ll be there together, yeah.

-All right, see you in five. -Yep.

-Coming for a swim? -I want flippers.

I want a snorkel mask. I want it all.

This is luxurious.

What is this? I love this.

Oh, I love a duck.

Just in the go. Look, see this?

Keep on her. Follow her. Follow her.

Ow!

-Are you good? -Yeah, I’m good.

Do you want anything else? What can I do for you?

Drink something?

-I’m good. -Okay.

Okay, fine.

This is a traditional Tuscan cheesecake, yeah?

It’s 500 grams of Philadelphia, 500 grams of mascarpone,

200 grams of sugar, three eggs plus one yolk,

zest of two oranges.

I’m right here for you, darling.

Perfect, perfect.

How many eggs do you want in there?

Three and then three and then two yolks.

Three plus one yolk, actually.

Ready?

There we go. There we go.

How are you doing, Angie>

Oh, my God.

I’m all for Angie having a throw-up.

Get that out of you, woman. Get it out and carry on.

That’s creating energy and space.

We got dinner and drinks ahead, lady.

Crack on.

Hey, grab that mix, would you, please?

The mix, cheesecake mix, yeah?

Make sure you, like, touch them really delicately

because your fingerprints are going all over

the lovely, clean glasses.

Yeah, they are.

Oh, sh--, sh--, sh--, sh--, sh--.

Honey, did you put sugar in there?

In what?

Cheesecake.

No, I thought I just added the eggs and the yolk.

Yeah, you just... okay.

Wow. It’s a dessert, hon.

Dessert, they generally have sugar in.

Just moving forward. I gave you the recipe.

I don’t cook very often.

Saying you have passion for food, okay?

That’s an incredibly vague statement.

-I’m not trained. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I’m just passionate.

Not I’m good at cooking or I’m fairly good at cooking

or I’m good at baking.

No, no, I just have a passion for food.

I didn’t start cooking for guests

until the last three charters of last season.

It’s actually quite smart

because you’re evading all accountability

for your future actions.

I’m not a ----ing pastry chef.

Passion for food could potentially mean

I have absolutely zero cooking skills.

It’s actually quite clever because it fooled me.

All crew, all crew. We are good for 7:30 dinner.

Copy.

Jason, Jason, we need your help.

Angie is in the cabin. She is feeling seasick.

Copy. I’m on my way.

Thank you.

I’ll get some cold packs.

-Can you help me with something? -Yeah.

Just so I don’t look so ugly when the captain comes.

Girl.

Don’t help her at all.

Got a tan, baby!

Thank you, Jenna.

Get in, bitch.

-Yes? -Hello.

Hi. All this love and care.

Mary by my side. The captain here is icing me.

Here you go. That looks really pretty.

And Mike is getting you wine glasses.

I’ll tell you what. I’m getting good at this.

Yeah. Good job. I like it. A lot.

Here we go.

Are you going to be sitting for dinner?

You’re going to rest?

Do you think you can eat?

Maybe some crackers.

I’m going to stay in here and have dinner in here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.

-Thank you. -You’re welcome.

They both want dinner in bed.

-[bleep] -Okay?

Just put a little bronzer on my side parts.

-Shall we go get a drink? -Yeah, let’s go get a drink.

This is nice. It kind of seals it in, yeah?

Brouillade buffalo mozzarella salad.

Open sesame.

-Hi. -Daisy.

You look amazing.

Looks functional in here, doesn’t it?

Looks are deceiving.

Galley, we have guests at the table.

That’s a good time for plating, all right?

I’m ----ing Michael Jackson.

Hee-hee.

-Save this for the lady, yeah? -Yes, that’s going.

-I’m taking? -She’s taking that one.

Cheers to all of us.

Thanks, primary.

This is the Good Time Girls Victory Tour.

Let’s enjoy it together.

What am I taking?

Burrata salad with marinara.

Pecorino romano twill and crispy basil.

Oh, what is this?

Well, hello.

Here you have burrata with a pecorino twill

and a crispy basil leaf.

-Yummy. -Delicious, wonderful.

Thank you so much.

Is Mary here?

Mary went to the restroom for a minute.

We’re missing Angie and Mary’s commentary.

Oh, my God, the chef.

He gets down.

Put some lemon juice in there, please.

The next course, give me five minutes.

Let me do it, because I can’t have any [bleep]-ups

at all on this one. Yeah.

I do not miss Mary’s commentary.

Oh, dear, Britani. We have a rule.

What?

You can only sh---talk if they’re right in front of you.

You can go down to Jenna and help her in turndowns.

-Okay? -What?

I mean, there’s other people at the table you’re mad at

that you are not saying something about.

Who are you mad at?

She said that you Big Sister her in her business

and she doesn’t want your advice.

-And it’s bullsh--. -Okay.

And she said that you pretend you have seizures

and go to a level 100 and it’s bullsh--

and she doesn’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth.

Drama. Drama is in the air.

I’ve never had a seizure in my life.

That’s a horrible thing to say about somebody.

The next course is ready, please, thank you.

Interior, galley, needs to know

whether or not they should plate.

[bleep] me.

There are people who do have seizures,

and they are very serious, one of which was my child.

Oh, my God.

Hey, hey, hey, I need to know now.

They’re fighting about seizures. Everything’s up in the air.

I don’t-- really, I don’t have an answer for you right now.

I find that to be despicable.

-I don’t care! -See?

This is what I’m talking about.

Here we go. Where’s Daisy?

----ing hell, like, what is going on?

You go from zero to... Are you kidding me?

-You can stop. -Are you serious?

-Oh, my God. -[glass shatters]

You did not need to say that.

I’m in the dark here, darlings.

Okay, you think it’s funny?

Mike, there’s broken glass on the table,

can you come and clear?

Copy.

-[bleep]’s sakes. -It’s nuts.

Holy...

Oh, that’s kicking off up there.

Galley, the guests are still eating.

If we could get a time, that would be great.

I don’t know when they’re going to stop eating.

It’s all kicking off.

This is bullsh--.

You might go from zero to 100 in .2 seconds.

----ing insane. Absolutely insane.

First meal of the first charter,

and the guests are already killing each other.

That’s your opinion, though.

Service, service.

-Sorry. -You’re okay.

These bitches are next level delulu.

I am over this.

Don’t you ever, ever, ever say that about me.

-Wow. -Daisy, Daisy, Ben.

This season on "Below Deck Down Under"...

[shouting]

First person to jump off this marina

butt naked gets $1,000.

It’s all fun and games until it’s not anymore.

There’s a pussy liner stuck to the wall.

Oh, my God.

To making new friendships,

working together on board, making memories.

-Do it. -No.

Motorboat.

Bada bing, bada boom.

-Honk if you’re horny. -Honk, honk.

-I don’t do boatmances. -Why?

Probably the kind of person I’m attracted to.

Absolute dickheads.

Yeah, I like a dickhead.

You guys in love or what?

I don’t know.

Eddy is on my mind.

But it’s nice getting to know Ben.

-I like you, okay? -You are my vibe.

Stay the [bleep] away from the two of them.

[plates shatter]

Stupid, stupid.

I have discovered some inabilities with my sous chef.

They look like sh--.

Oh, it’s too much.

Ben is a hot head in the galley.

Who’s calling the ----ing shots around here?

I’m here to put the pressure on.

-Stop doing that. -But that’s my job.

I wouldn’t say it’s five-star service.

This is miserable.

The food needs to be here now.

They’re getting annoyed.

All this is is ego.

Well, it’s not her ----ing boat,

and she’s going to learn that.

I’m being used as an easy target for people to go

why isn’t that done? Why isn’t that done?

[bleep] off.

Get off my ----ing dick, mate.

Okay, you can get off the boat. Get off the boat.

Get off the boat.

Where this got to is not acceptable.

We’re trying to get a job done.

Ignore the small things.

Don’t bitch about me behind my ----ing back.

We have to band together before everything falls apart.

Go [bleep] yourself, asshole.

Now [bleep] off, you ----ing wanker.

We’re the ----ing best.

We’re the tits on a stick, doll.