Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:05,255
Oh, snaaaaaaaaap!
2
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:08,299
Did Candice Singleton
just enter the car?
3
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:10,010
Mom, stop. Ugh.
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,263
How was your day?
Did you get educated AF?
5
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,514
Ugh...
6
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,392
Daaaamn.
7
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,729
Looks like somebody
stans baby carrots.
8
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,735
How's your squad?
Are they keeping it 100?
9
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,820
Ooh,
bedtime on fleek,
10
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,448
who wants to get turnt
with "Curious George"?
11
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,411
Ma'am, step away
from the door.
12
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:37,620
What are you doing,
Randy?
13
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,456
I'm protecting
the asset, ma'am.
14
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,624
Well, I'm the asset's
mother, so...
15
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,418
Do not test me, Emily!
16
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,545
I swear to God,
I will axe kick you
17
00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:46,629
through that wall.
18
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,840
It'll be all like --
ahh!
19
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,383
Ow! Ooh!
20
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:08,860
The Vikings believed
this pendant granted wishes.
21
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:10,612
Cooool.
Cooool.
22
00:01:12,155 --> 00:01:15,033
Emily, you have, uh,
something to sigh?
23
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,160
Candice has been giving me
the silent treatment all week.
24
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,870
She won't talk to me,
she won't tell me
25
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:19,913
what's going on at school.
26
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:21,164
She's just going
through a phase.
27
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:22,791
Emily, don't worry.
28
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:25,710
All kids push their parents away
when they're about to move out.
29
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,128
She's five.
30
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,631
Come on, let's get blackout
drunk, go on Amazon,
31
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:30,757
and see what
shows up tomorrow.
32
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,675
I call it
"Wine and Prime."
33
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:35,011
I just wish I was closer
to Candice.
34
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:44,813
Ah!
35
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:49,776
Aah!
36
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,737
The pendant!
37
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,198
Come on, Candice,
let's get you to the bus!
38
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,453
Candice!
You can't be in my room.
39
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:04,290
Adult single man, little kid.
I-I-I-It's not a good look.
40
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,667
No, it's me, Emily!
41
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,835
Nice try.
42
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,461
Your mom and I might not
be that close,
43
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,630
but I know that she's the big
one and you're the little one.
44
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:11,631
No!
Wait!
45
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:12,757
I can prove it.
46
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,300
Last year I walked in
on you
47
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,344
using my hand mirror
to see your own butthole!
48
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,637
Emily?
49
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:19,222
You were on your mattress
50
00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,682
with your legs
over your head --
51
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,726
Okay, okay.
Stop talking about it.
52
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,019
What happened
to you?!
53
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,855
I said I wished I was
closer to Candice,
54
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,898
and your stupid
Viking thingy shrunk me.
55
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,485
Ha! It made you closer
to Candice in size?
56
00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,404
Hilarious.
57
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,488
How do I change back?
58
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:36,698
I don't know!
59
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:38,741
It's not my fault
you weren't more specific.
60
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:39,951
Just figure it out!
61
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,661
You should've said
something like,
62
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:46,332
"I wish I was emotionally close
to my offspring."
63
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,042
Oh, shit.
64
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,339
Hey.
65
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,592
Maybe I actually could get
closer to Candice.
66
00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,648
Hey, Candi--
I mean,
67
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,275
cand I sit here?
68
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,694
That's what I meant. I just want
to put my tiny body on the seat
69
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,029
next to a fellow child.
70
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,906
Uh, sure. Thanks.
71
00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,575
I was afraid I'd have to sit in
the back with the weird kids.
72
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,870
Oookay.
73
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,955
My name's Candice.
What's yours?
74
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,957
It's Em--
uhhh...
75
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,918
Emma?
Yes!
76
00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:31,044
Yes, Emma.
77
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,046
A normal name
for a normal girl.
78
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,049
Want to tell
each other secrets?
79
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,383
Uh, I don't know.
80
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:40,178
I'll go first.
I secretly love my mom.
81
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:43,514
She gives me baby carrots and I
appreciate everything about her.
82
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,141
Your turn.
83
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,186
I've got to go
sit over there now.
84
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,395
Sorry.
85
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:55,401
Offspring?
Why did I say offspring?
86
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,402
Calm down.
87
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,737
You don't
have any offspring.
88
00:03:57,737 --> 00:03:59,906
Ah! The pendant can't make you
have kids.
89
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,241
Can it?
90
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,077
Going alllll the way
back to 1999.
91
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:08,581
It's The Offspring with
"Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)"!
92
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,000
Ugh, '90s rock. Ugh.
93
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,627
What the...?
No!
94
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,836
What are you doing?
95
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,921
Stop it!
96
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:20,718
I'm emotionally close
to The Offspring!
97
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,097
Uh, hello,
Mr. Campbell.
98
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,723
I'm --
99
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,723
Great,
another new student.
100
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,934
Why don't you introduce yourself
while I make you
101
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,478
a chair out
of Amazon boxes?
102
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,608
Hi!
My name is Emma.
103
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,819
I'm five. Obviously.
104
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:40,113
And I like things
five-year-olds like.
105
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,865
I hate vaping.
And I love my mom.
106
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,200
Who doesn't
love moms?
107
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,618
You can talk to them
all day long.
108
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,329
This kid is obsessed
with moms!
109
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,499
You're losing them, Emily.
110
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,669
Huh?
Huuuh?
111
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,714
Hey, Cameron, this weird kid
is stealing your bit.
112
00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,091
Hey, weird kid,
stop stealing my bit!
113
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,634
Kids:
Booooooooo!
114
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:08,766
Are there any
tickets left?!
115
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,144
Hold on, let me check.
116
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,145
Yeah.
117
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,230
Oh. Okay,
give me a hundred! Wait!
118
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:15,356
Quatro, cinco,
cinco, seis.
119
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,649
Okay. Agh!
120
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,277
I just need one to get in,
is that right?
121
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,029
One. Okay,
I'll take one.
122
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:24,324
No, two so I can hang one on my
wall and keep one in my wallet.
123
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,575
Ooh, yeah.
124
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,077
Wow, you must, like,
really love The Offspring.
125
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,829
Just give me
the tickets!
126
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:35,668
Damn it!
127
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,836
Oh, no.
128
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,839
Too scared to throw rocks
at a beehive?
129
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,342
Jade Cartwright,
you stop it right now!
130
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,427
What do you want,
weird kid?
131
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:47,096
Talk about scared?
At the last PTA meeting,
132
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,182
your mother told me
you sleep with a night light.
133
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,601
And your dad's not
on a business trip.
134
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:54,604
He moved in
with his Pilates instructor.
135
00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,525
Are you okay?
136
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,944
You made Jade cry.
137
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,196
Wanna be my friend?
138
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:42,735
And over there
is David Lin.
139
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,779
He's a third-grader.
We'll get married someday.
140
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,197
And that's my friend Maddie.
141
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,824
Jade used to be my friend.
142
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,784
Last week, she told me that
when a mommy and a daddy
143
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,412
love each other very much,
they touch butts together,
144
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,455
and then a baby falls
out of their butts.
145
00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:56,332
You know that's not
how it works.
146
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,251
Ugh!
You sound like my mom.
147
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,879
I told her, and she told Jade's
mom, and Jade got in trouble,
148
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:03,256
which made her mad at me,
149
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,883
so I decided to stop
telling my mom stuff.
150
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,427
Uh...
That's the reason?
151
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,845
Reason for what?
152
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,221
Nothing.
Nothing.
153
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,306
BT-dubs are you gonna eat
your baby carrots?
154
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,017
'Cause I stan
baby carrots.
155
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:19,564
Wait, my mom says,
"Stan baby carrots."
156
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,777
Wait.
That's my mom's sweater!
157
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:25,945
Are you...
158
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,155
my mom?!
159
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,491
I'm sorry.
160
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,491
What is going on?!
161
00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:32,452
Don't freak out!
I-I accidentally wished
162
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,078
on Alex's weird Viking thingy
163
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,538
and now we're
getting so close
164
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,874
and I just -- I really love
being your friend.
165
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,750
You were spying on me?!
166
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,133
I'm gonna go
make up with Jade
167
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,801
by throwing rocks
at that beehive!
168
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:49,969
Wait, please --
169
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,680
And I'm never
talking to you again!
170
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,475
Oh, cool.
I stan baby carrots, too.
171
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,482
You don't have
to do this!
172
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,025
Shut up,
weird kid!
173
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,568
Go ahead, Candice.
174
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,070
I'll forgive you if you
throw a rock at that beehive.
175
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,656
Okay, first of all,
that makes no sense.
176
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:14,327
And, Candice, bees are already
dying at an alarming rate.
177
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,329
You're not my mom.
178
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:19,040
Kids:
Ooooooooh!
179
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,126
Yes, I am.
180
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:23,336
Oooooooh!
181
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,171
Wait, what?
182
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,523
♪ But in his own mind,
he's the ♪
183
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,024
♪ He's the dopest trip ♪
184
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,400
♪ Give it to me, baby ♪
185
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,779
♪ Give it to me, baby ♪
186
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,948
Ah!
Don't give it to me.
187
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:54,033
Why do I know
all the lyrics?!
188
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,493
There's only one way out!
189
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,745
♪ Uno, dos, tres, quatro,
cinco, cinco -- ♪
190
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,381
I can't believe you got us
into this!
191
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,596
What --
What are you doing?
192
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,473
I'm being your mother.
193
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,190
♪ A player straight ♪
194
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,400
♪ You know
he really doesn't -- ♪
195
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,401
Sorry, Noodles.
196
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,236
How do I know
his name?
197
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,904
What? What?
198
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,614
You guys
don't understand.
199
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:36,826
There's only one way
to break this curse.
200
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,119
Huh?
201
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,415
You saved me.
202
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,417
That's what moms do.
203
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,210
I'm sorry I lied to you.
204
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:49,380
I just...
I wanted us to be...
205
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,340
close.
206
00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:51,340
Oh.
207
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,279
What?
208
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,615
Kids:
Whooooa!
209
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,955
I'm me!
210
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,875
Candice, I'll never betray
your confidence again.
211
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,835
I promise,
you can tell me anything.
212
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,463
Okay.
213
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,589
I can see your butt.
214
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,841
Oh God!
I'll see you at home!
215
00:10:33,841 --> 00:10:35,343
Whooaaa.
216
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,137
So, she really was
her mom.
217
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,890
Kids:
Oooooh!
218
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,144
Hey! You're back to normal?
How'd you do that?
219
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,479
I guess I learned my lesson
220
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,189
and, poof,
the curse was broken.
221
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,024
Cool, cool.
So, uh,
222
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:53,152
that's why smashing
the pendant didn't work.
223
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,528
Oh, well!
224
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:57,323
♪ ...own mind, he's the,
he's the dopest trip ♪
225
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,158
♪ Give it to me, baby ♪
15313
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof