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1
00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:06,423
Okay, here we go.
Time to meet the public.
2
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:07,757
Hey, guys?
3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:11,219
Can I, um, read you
some of my new novel?
4
00:00:11,219 --> 00:00:13,096
Of course!
5
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:13,096
I love to give notes.
6
00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:14,139
I'm not doing anything.
7
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,433
Awesome. Okay.
8
00:00:18,101 --> 00:00:19,144
Eons ago --
9
00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:21,104
What the [bleep]?!
This sucks!
10
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:22,647
It makes me want
to kill myself.
11
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:26,067
You made me hate reading
more than I already do!
12
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,445
Wait, what?
Is it really that bad?
13
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:29,738
Let's kick him
in the nuts!
14
00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:37,620
All: Bad writer! Bad writer!
Bad writer!
15
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:41,040
I deserve this.
16
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,209
Go ahead.
We wanna hear it.
17
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,795
Uh, I don't know.
18
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,590
You know what?
It's not ready yet!
19
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:51,634
Oh!
20
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,304
I got a papercut on my dong!
21
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:09,986
Hey, Alex.
How's the writing going?
22
00:01:09,986 --> 00:01:11,529
Terrible.
23
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,990
I bet a lot of successful
authors have felt this way.
24
00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:15,658
You should ask one
for advice.
25
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:16,993
Maybe email Dr. Seuss?
26
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:19,496
Oh, buddy,
he's 100 percent dead.
27
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,207
No!
Why didn't anybody tell me?
28
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,209
Oh, I went to Skylight Books
to take a selfie
29
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,377
in the poetry section,
and they're doing a signing
30
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:28,671
by that guy who writes
that horny space stuff you love!
31
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:32,300
Jack Kleghorn? Author of
Lust of the Star Wizards 1-4:
32
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,010
The Unfinished Pentology?
33
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,679
Yeah, that sounds
the right amount of gross.
34
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,348
He's my favorite writer!
35
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,809
If he's your Seuss,
go talk to him.
36
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,143
Before it's too late.
37
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:53,530
I say! Looks like we've got
ourselves a bit of a Kleghead.
38
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,950
Oh, you have no idea,
Mr. Kleghorn.
39
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,953
Please, call me
"Sir Jack."
40
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,039
Thank you so much, Mr. Kleg--
um, I'm sorry, Sir Jack.
41
00:02:03,039 --> 00:02:06,709
I'm actually a bit
of a writer, too.
42
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,752
Really?
43
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,213
I mostly write erotic
sci-fi epics
44
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,174
about cyborg Vikings
fighting evil space gods.
45
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:14,384
Do you now?
46
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,636
I actually just finished
a novel, but --
47
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,888
Finished the novel,
you say?
48
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,641
Yeah, but I'm too scared
to let anyone read it.
49
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,393
Did you ever
feel like this?
50
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:27,730
You mean the existential fear
that someone may read your work
51
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:30,400
and discover you
to be a fraud?
52
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,484
Yes!
53
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,527
No.
54
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:33,945
Oh.
55
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:33,945
But!
56
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:37,824
It sounds like all you need
is a dram of confidence.
57
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,743
Why don't you send me
your novel,
58
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,539
then stop by my chateau
to chat about it?
59
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:47,083
You want...
60
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,918
to read...
61
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:00,847
Alex, my boy!
62
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,683
Welcome to my humble
- 18th-
- Century mansion
63
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:06,811
I had flown in piece
by piece from Windsor!
64
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,105
I'm quite wealthy, you see.
65
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,982
From writing.
66
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,650
Can I get you anything?
67
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,194
Spot of tea?
Antique sword?
68
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,362
Rembrandt?
69
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:17,655
Wow!
Are those real?
70
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,449
Oh, yes.
71
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,993
I like to keep a couple
of mummies around
72
00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:23,703
to lift my spirits.
73
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,956
Who's still alive now,
Amenhotep?!
74
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,959
And what is this?
75
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,795
Oh, that ancient meteor?
76
00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:36,507
It's actually quite helpful
with my process.
77
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,969
Now let's stop pissing about
and get into it.
78
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,138
I read your novel,
and I loved it
79
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,515
like a badger
loves brambleberries.
80
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,809
You...
Jack Kleghorn...
81
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,102
Sir Jack.
82
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,646
Sir Jack Kleghorn.
83
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,314
Loved my novel.
84
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:54,525
When Psybjorn seduces
Lord Universo
85
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:56,152
to discover his weakness?
86
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:59,447
I practically --
what's the American phrase?
87
00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,032
"Busted a nut?"
88
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,992
Ah!
This is...
89
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:04,577
Oh! I just...
90
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:07,163
Don't get too excited,
old sport.
91
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:10,792
You have work to do if you want
to be the next
92
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,543
Sir Jack Kleghorn.
93
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:16,798
Yes, yes!
I'll do whatever I have to do!
94
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,925
Then get to writing!
95
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,093
Wait, right now?
96
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,469
Type, boy, type!
97
00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:24,806
Do you think James Patterson
has confidence issues?
98
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:29,268
He's finished a book
since I started this sentence.
99
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,402
♪ Please Mr. Kleghorn ♪
100
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,737
♪ Read my book,
it's erotic fiction ♪
101
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,280
♪ With a Viking hook ♪
102
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:44,367
♪ I would give my right arm
to write like you ♪
103
00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:49,414
♪ I crave success
as a serial fiction author ♪
104
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,501
♪ Serial fiction author ♪
105
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,966
Alex, it seems like Jack
is working you to the bone.
106
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,844
Sir Jack is working me
to the bone?
107
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,178
And I'm fine.
108
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,889
My favorite author thinks
I've got potential.
109
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,891
And I finally
feel confident.
110
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,810
Why does he make you
do a ton of exercise?
111
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:13,479
Strong body strong mind,
no-doy.
112
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,231
You wouldn't get it.
113
00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,983
We think you should at least
get some sleep.
114
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:21,070
Jack says sleep is for wankers,
and wanking is for losers,
115
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,948
so I don't
do either anymore.
116
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:25,450
Alex,
you're being insane.
117
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,326
Ohhh, I see.
118
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,245
You're all jealous.
119
00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:32,081
I'm going back to Sir Jack's,
and if you don't like it,
120
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,458
you can kiss my...
121
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:37,837
...novel-writing ass!
122
00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,339
You close the door, Josh.
123
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,634
Sir Jack?
124
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:47,096
His name
is Alex Dorpenberger.
125
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,598
He's brilliant!
126
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,267
A once-in-a-generation
talent!
127
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:54,771
Yes, you've got to meet him
right away.
128
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,106
I'm sorry, I couldn't help overhearing.
129
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,525
Was that...?
My agent, dear boy!
130
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:04,072
I was just calling to let him
know that I'm the next you.
131
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,698
That's incred--
132
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,243
Wait, don't you mean
I'm the next you?
133
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,746
Absolutely not!
134
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,502
Huh?
135
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,962
Wakey wakey,
eggs and bakey!
136
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:23,299
I hope I didn't bash
your bally brains in.
137
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:24,675
What the hell
is going on?!
138
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:28,221
We're going to do
a little freaky Friday!
139
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:32,016
What?
We're swapping bodies,
dear boy!
140
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:36,646
Okay, got it.
You're crazy.
141
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,315
Crazy about eternal life!
142
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:42,360
How would you like
to hear a yarn?
143
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,945
Do I have a choice?
144
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:48,825
Once upon a time, 44,000
years ago give or take,
145
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:52,703
I was
but a humble caveman.
146
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,997
Twas the early days of art,
147
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,917
but I saw how rewarding
it could be.
148
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:04,215
I saw an opportunity
to "cash in."
149
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,385
I was history's
first plagiarist,
150
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:12,181
and that didn't
bust anyone's nuts.
151
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:15,518
But then a miracle!
152
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:31,200
This space meteor had caused us
to switch bodies!
153
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,162
I'd escaped death,
and as a bonus,
154
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:38,541
I was able to rip off the
other guy without consequence!
155
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:42,336
My life, as the modern
teens say, "slapped."
156
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:47,258
And with the meteor in my
possession, it never had to end.
157
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,218
Whenever my body grew old,
158
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,888
I'd find an undiscovered
young artist,
159
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,015
make them churn out
fresh content,
160
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:57,560
take over their body,
and murder the poor twit.
161
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,523
So, wait a minute, you're just
some kind of crappy thief?
162
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,360
I am an exceptional thief,
Mr. Dorpenberger!
163
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:10,740
Time for you to shut
what is soon to be my mouth.
164
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,120
Oh, no!
I'm old as shit!
165
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,583
Well, everything seems
to be tickety-boo!
166
00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,960
Let's get to killing you,
shall we?
167
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:25,546
Oh, bollocks.
168
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:29,217
I always forget to untie myself
before swapping.
169
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,892
Guys!
You have to help me!
170
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,144
I'm actually Alex!
171
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:44,106
Sir Jack used a magic meteor
to swap bodies with me!
172
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,983
Okay, at first
I thought you were
173
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,360
just really good
at impressions,
174
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,779
and I was like "Hello?!
SNL?"
175
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,364
But the meteor thing
makes more sense.
176
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,074
Look, you guys were right
when you said
177
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,952
Sir Jack was mistreating me,
but you've got to help me!
178
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,455
Alex?
179
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:00,957
Not for long!
180
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,459
Now, hand over the manuscripts
and meteor
181
00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:05,795
and I shan't decapitate you.
182
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,338
You're way hotter
with that voice.
183
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,798
Hey!
184
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,182
My precious!
185
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,688
Josh: Whoa.
Everyone's friggin huge.
186
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,648
Candice: Hell yeah,
I'm old enough to cuss!
187
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,025
Bridgette: I'm literally
inside my ex.
188
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,485
My therapist
is gonna love this.
189
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,279
Emily: Wait.
So who's in Bridgette?
190
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,738
That's Sir Bridgette.
191
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,829
Josh, you need
to do some curls.
192
00:09:41,289 --> 00:09:44,417
Ow!
I did not think that through.
193
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:46,419
No, you really didn't.
194
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,504
Anyhoo, enjoy hell!
195
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,589
Stop!
196
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:54,051
Let her go, or I'll torch
the manuscripts!
197
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:57,638
What sort of imbecile
would destroy his life's work?
198
00:09:57,722 --> 00:10:02,518
An imbecile who loves
his friends!
199
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:05,354
No!
My livelihood!
200
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,442
Catch!
201
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:15,740
Well, that's no good.
202
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,202
Can someone please
cover my eyes?
203
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,206
Well, that took
a ton of math,
204
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:25,541
but I think everyone
205
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,877
is who they're supposed
to be at this point.
206
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,545
I'm sorry your idol
turned out to be
207
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:31,714
an ancient body-stealing
fraud.
208
00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,508
Eh.
Could happen to anyone.
209
00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,889
Guess I should cancel my meeting
with Jack's agent, though.
210
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,141
You must have something
you can show him.
211
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,560
Nope.
This was everything.
212
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,645
Unless...
213
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,190
And then right
at the last second,
214
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:54,028
they switch bodies again,
and Jack dies.
215
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:55,654
The end.
216
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,908
Yeahhh,
it's gonna be a pass.
217
00:10:58,908 --> 00:10:59,909
That's fair.
15305
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