Original subtitles

Pearle: Unh! Ha ha!

Sun's out, bun's out!

Oh, man! I can't wait to sink my teeth into some --

Both: Hinano's world famous burgers!

We better hit it. You know the line's gonna be long.

While we're on the boardwalk, you and Pearle have fun, okay?

No doy! Sandcastles rule!

Y'all do your thing. Candice is safe here with me.

Ooh! This could be the chimney!

Man: Ow! What the hell?!

Ha ha! Classic Venice!

Come on, Pearle! Get in here!

Sandcastles are so much fun!

Sometimes.

Castling can make your day.

Or break your spirit.

So... you in or out?

Whoa! How'd you do that?!

Heh. Maybe I still got it.

Well, well, well.

Hello, Pearle.

Didn't think you'd show your face back here

since I humiliated you 63 years ago.

Sam "The Sandman" Sanders!

Don't you know there's no trash allowed on the beach?

If you're here for the sandcastle competition,

forget about it!

My grandson, Little Sandy, and I are taking home the gold!

Come at me, bro!

Nothing's getting in the way of an undefeated Sanders legacy!

I didn't even know there was a competition.

I only build for fun now.

"Fun"? What do we say about fun, Little Sandy?

It's for losers, and that's why I'm not allowed to have any!

I have so many questions.

There was a time in my life when I castled, Candice.

And I castled hard.

Pearle: It was the height of the sandcastle craze.

And I was a star of the circuit!

I was the best of the best.

I built my most ambitious creation yet.

But competitive castling brought out my worst

Wow! Mom!

You're ruining everything!

But, honey, I'm just trying to help.

I became a monster.

Get out of here, Mom!

Okay, okay, okay.

Further.

Further!

Further!

But, honey, I'm just trying...

to help! Ugh!

Nooooo!!

I would have won if I could have just kept myself under control.

The stress was just too much.

I only build for fun now,

and I've made my peace with that.

Or you could make peace with crushing

those jerks in the competition!

That would fill an Eiffel Tower-shaped hole in my heart!

Not literally. My heart's surprisingly healthy.

Okay! I'm in!

Kicking their butts is gonna be so much fun!

Both: Ha!

Let's show these newbies how you really wait in line.

Line's moving. Oh. Right.

So here's the plan. You start doing stuff,

and I'll go collect the shells.

Stuff?! This isn't amateur hour, Candice!

This is the real deal!

But I thought --

I came out of retirement

for one reason and one reason only --

to beat Sanders once and for all!

So, the whole high five, "so much fun" thing...?

There'll be time for fun when we beat 'em to a pulp.

Ladies and gentleman...

uh-let's get ready to shove-e-e-e-l!

Bob: Here comes the first round of competitors.

Yeah. Real fun.

And now the King of the Beach

will fire the ceremonial starter pistol.

Oh, yeah. Here we go.

Oh! These burgz are gonna be so friggin' juice-ay!

It's 'cause they use that beer and apple-fed Wagyu meat, man.

The Kobe of Kobe beef.

Oh, thweet! You got burgerth.

You got your tongue pierced?

What are you -- 16 and mad at your dad?

No!

But acthually, pleathe don't tell my dad.

Aw, man! They forgot the ketchup!

Aah!

Everybody stay calm.

Okay, okay. Stay cool. Everybody be cool.

No reason to fly off, you little trash bird.

Get back here with my burgers!

Hey!

Whoa-oa-oa!

Oh, my God, guys! Are you okay?!

So typical, with your

"international landmarks" and "perfect lines."

But don't forget -- once a hot head...

Always a hot head! Yeah!

I don't know how much more of this I can take.

There's no quittin' in castlin'!

Now pick up that barber's brush and start smoothin'!

Quentin: Well, I don't know about you, Bob,

but I'm having a Taj Ma-ball over here!

You can say that again, Quentin!

Pearle nails those chamfered edges with precision.

Sand dunk! Heh.

And look at the way she rounds the edges of that dome tower!

Pearle's Girls take the lead!

What? Huh...

Shucky ducky, baby! Ho-oh, alright!

Wah!

Whoa!

Unh!

Oh! Heh! Alright!

Bah! Never send a hippie to do a beach bum's job!

Bring it on, you sundried potato!

Bob: Uh-oh! Looks like these old rivals

are having a heated conversation...

with their fists!

Which is entirely allowed.

Competitive sandcastling has surprisingly few rules.

Keep on building, Candice!

- Hyah! - Wah!

Hah!

Bob: You know, I gotta tell you, Q.

Nothing I like more than senior-citizen combat.

Without it, these sandcastle competitions

would be unwatchable.

Candice! You're doing it all wrong!

You're gonna make us lose!

Wah! Give me that!

The melon baller is for positive carving,

and the teaspoon is for negative carving!

This isn't fun anymore!

It looks like there's trouble in paradise!

I will not lose!

Pearle: Noooooooo!

And today's "Oh No!" moment of the game

is brought to you by Las Vegas's all-new Children's Casino

where, even if you're little, you can win big!

What have I done?

Candice, I've made a terrible mistake.

I got so swept up in the competition again

that I forgot to have fun!

And I'm sorry.

Will you help me rebuild?

There's not enough time. There's no way we can win.

Screw winning.

Just build what your heart tells you to build!

Quentin: Pearle's Girls have radically shifted tactics.

But will it be enough?

Oh ho!

- Come to daddy! - Hell yeah!

Uh...

Whoooaaa.

No. No!

Ahh! Come on!

Eat meat!

Sun's out, buns out!

I just wanted to win.

Unh!

Owwwwww!

That was the guy who took our burgers!

Wow. Guess he needed a little...

meat on his bones? Ha ha!

Bob: Pearle's Girls win it! Whoo-hoo!

Candice: Yeah!

Yeah!

Candice, thank you for reminding me

why I loved building sandcastles in the first place.

And thank you for teaching me

that winning's cool and everything, but...

Both: If it ain't fun, it ain't worth it!

Emily: Yes!

Yeah, Candy Cane! You did it!

Hinano's burgers!

This was worth the concussion. Heh.

Oh, no. Are you trying to put it in your ear?

Uh... Oh, no. Your mouth is in the front, guy.

You're right. Heh. Yeah, you're right.