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1
00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,426
Wow. Today ruled.
2
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,720
Best wedding
I've ever been to!
3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:12,846
Unh!
4
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:12,846
Yeah!
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,139
Ahh.
6
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,600
I'm sorry we couldn't afford
a real honeymoon.
7
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,102
Are you kidding?
This is great!
8
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:20,895
We can watch the traffic
on the 405!
9
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:24,232
I know, but one day we'll have
the ultimate honeymoon.
10
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,442
I promise.
11
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:28,528
Just gotta save up
that sweet kaish!
12
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:32,574
To our dream honeymoon!
13
00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,075
Mmm!
14
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,416
Holy crap! It's full!
15
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,792
It's full?!
16
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:54,929
♪ After years of hoarding money
like an oil tycoon ♪
17
00:00:55,013 --> 00:01:00,477
♪ They can finally afford
a dream honeymoon! ♪
18
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:04,397
♪ They saved tons of money, oh,
the funds, how they've grown ♪
19
00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:07,609
♪ They'll take a sexy trip,
and they'll totally bone ♪
20
00:01:07,609 --> 00:01:10,612
- ♪ Totally bone! ♪
- ♪ Totally bone! ♪
21
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:13,948
♪ They're gonna take
a fancy trip and totally bone ♪
22
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:17,243
♪ Fiji, Bermuda, Hawaii, Rome ♪
23
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,956
♪ Expensive honeymoon ♪
24
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:28,171
♪ Go big or go hoooooooooome! ♪
25
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:31,549
Four hundred dollars?!
26
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,594
♪ How does a father, husband,
a roommate of four ♪
27
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:37,597
♪ Finance a honeymoon
for only four hundred -- ♪
28
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,475
Only one musical number
per scene, please.
29
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,823
Man, this sucks.
30
00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:57,158
What kind of honeymoon are we
supposed to take with this?
31
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,327
You could go
to Beverly Hills
32
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:00,578
and park there overnight.
33
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,247
You could pay some guy
to fight you!
34
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:04,624
I know!
Let's go to Disneyland!
35
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,251
Oh, um, sorry Candice.
36
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:08,962
Honeymoons are kind of
a "no kids" situation.
37
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,547
After all
I've done for you?
38
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,216
Don't worry, Candice.
We'll have all weekend
39
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:16,719
to play with whatever toy
kids are addicted to this week.
40
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,346
Super noisy cube!
41
00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:19,597
Oof. I guess.
42
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:24,727
Uh, guys, allow me
to blow your mind.
43
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:26,896
- Catalina island?
- Ooh!
44
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,773
It's the Palm Springs
of the sea!
45
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,525
I don't know.
This is supposed to be
46
00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,652
the most romantic trip
of our lives.
47
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,571
Isn't Catalina
a little blah?
48
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,239
Em, I think this can work.
49
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:38,074
This place has
five out of five stars.
50
00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:39,701
Not a single bad review!
51
00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,744
Huh.
"A magical getaway."
52
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,038
"A throwback
to a bygone era."
53
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,457
Don't forget
"Dirt cheap!!"
54
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,084
You know what?
Let's do it!
55
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:51,087
Welp, looks like Dorpenberger
saves the day again.
56
00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:52,672
Up top!
57
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,144
This place is great!
58
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:07,687
Look!
59
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,607
Hey! Shoo!
Get outta here!
60
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:11,733
Sick!
61
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,484
We're gonna crush
this honeymoon.
62
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,194
Hope you're ready
to make memories
63
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:18,114
we'll cherish for the rest
of our friggin' lives!
64
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,083
Welcome, travelers!
65
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,044
Checking in?
66
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,296
Yep.
We're in the honeymoon suite.
67
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:36,758
Ohh! Newlyweds!
I'm honored!
68
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,551
You've chosen one of our beds
69
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,596
on which to consummate
your nuptials.
70
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:44,641
Oh, no, we've already
consummated our...stuff.
71
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,975
We've been married
for seven years
72
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,602
and are only now just
taking our honeymoon
73
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:48,811
like a couple of maniacs.
74
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,480
Yeah, so we gotta
make it count.
75
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,398
Well, you've certainly
come to the right place.
76
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:55,318
Here on Catalina, we have
over nine things to do!
77
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,612
We're excited! We saw
all the great reviews online.
78
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,906
Oh, by the way,
what's with the buffalo?
79
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,616
They're actually bison.
80
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,034
They were brought to Catalina
81
00:04:03,034 --> 00:04:05,286
for a silent-film shoot
in the twenties,
82
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,623
but the director never
returned them to the mainland
83
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,626
because, well,
he went insane.
84
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,252
Noice.
85
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,252
That's terrible.
86
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,254
Oh, they're
completely docile!
87
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:19,759
Anyhoo, I'm afraid the honeymoon
suite is still being aired out.
88
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,260
Okaaay.
89
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,972
But, on Catalina, no guest
is allowed to leave
90
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,974
without having
a perfect trip!
91
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,433
So, for your inconvenience,
92
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,727
we're offering you
a complimentary tour!
93
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:30,853
Oh! Wow!
94
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,064
Honeymooning
in Catalina?
95
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:35,858
Why not try
our Romantic Canoe Ride?
96
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:36,985
Self-guided.
97
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,611
Both:
Best honeymoon ever!
98
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:39,696
Josh: Whoa!
99
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,615
Or Lover's Leap.
100
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:45,076
Both:
Best honeymoon ever!
101
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,623
Frederica:
Or our Unlimited Pasta Bar.
102
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,589
Unh!
103
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,343
Both:
Best honeymoon ever.
104
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,637
Frederica:
Sunsets? We got 'em!
105
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:14,731
Both:
Best honeymoon ever?
106
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,274
Emily: Aah!
107
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:21,529
The horses
destroyed my crotch.
108
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:24,949
I feel like Mike Tyson
punched my junk off.
109
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,284
But we're having fun.
110
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,327
On the only honeymoon
we'll ever have.
111
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,538
Of course!
Dream honeymoon.
112
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:31,998
I mean...the view.
113
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,291
Love the view.
114
00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:34,584
Great view.
115
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,377
And not too many bison.
116
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,129
Not infested at all.
117
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,464
And we have
two whole days left!
118
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,632
Two more days?!
Wow! That's just --
119
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,385
I mean, yay.
120
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,928
Anyway...
121
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,181
I need to go get some ice
for every part of my body,
122
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,059
but when I get back,
it's lovin' time.
123
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,103
Ohh! Oh, no.
Oh, why?
124
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,568
How'd they get it
so noisy?!
125
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,947
Hey, chica.
How's the 'moon?
126
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,657
Catalina's a nightmare!
127
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,951
Every time we find
an ounce of romance,
128
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,745
a frickin' buffalo
shows up!
129
00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,497
Been there.
130
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:15,416
Josh is so desperate, but maybe
we should just give up on it.
131
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:17,835
I know it's hard,
but if you're miserable,
132
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,588
the best thing you can do
is call the whole thing off.
133
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:22,256
- Hang on! Who's that?
- Emily.
134
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,509
Catalina sucks, so
she's thinking of ending it.
135
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,718
Ending it?!
136
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,220
Yeah,
you're probably right.
137
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,930
I hope this doesn't
break his heart.
138
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,264
Eh. It might.
139
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,351
But I think the best thing now
is for you to divorce.
140
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:35,728
Not on my watch!
141
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,357
What was that about?
Who knows.
142
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,733
Anyway, I was gonna say
143
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,193
"Divorce yourself
from this trip."
144
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,569
Weird choice of words,
I guess.
145
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,197
I like it!
Non-traditional usage!
146
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,949
Aah!
Pick up, pick up, pick up!
147
00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,951
Josh: Hey. It's Josh.
Leave a message.
148
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,536
Josh!
149
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:53,830
Don't move!
I'll be there soon!
150
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,706
And whatever you do,
151
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,501
don't accept any papers
Emily serves you!
152
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,086
Aah!
153
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,925
I'm coming, Josh!
154
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:07,176
Waaah!
155
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,263
Ohh!
156
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:13,057
20 minutes of this, and
I'll totally be ready to bone.
157
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,310
Yeah. I'm very much
"in the mood."
158
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,524
Actually, Josh I know how much
this trip means to us
159
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:22,859
because we waited forever
to take it
160
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,485
and we're getting older
and we probably
161
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,487
won't take another romantic trip
until Candice goes to college,
162
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,614
so I've been pretending
to have a great time,
163
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,449
but in reality,
I hate it
164
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,994
and I hate the bison
and I wanna go home!
165
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,829
Holy crap. I didn't
want to say anything
166
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,998
because I thought maybe
if I just kept shouting
167
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,334
"best honeymoon ever," it would
become the best honeymoon ever,
168
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,253
but it's actually
the worst honeymoon ever
169
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,671
and it makes me sad!
170
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:45,923
Ohh!
I'm so relieved!
171
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,342
The last ferry off this rock
leaves in an hour.
172
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:52,305
The sexiest, most romantic thing
we could do is get on it.
173
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,639
Let's do it!
174
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,105
Oh, no!
Checking out early?
175
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,857
Yeah, gonna catch
the last ferry.
176
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,193
Hm. Did you already
make a baby?
177
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,569
No.
We just want to get home.
178
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:08,529
I think Catalina
kinda wasn't for us.
179
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,698
Kinda...wasn't for you?
180
00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:13,951
The view is nice, but
the buffalo are a bit much.
181
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,912
They...are...
182
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:18,873
silent-film era...
bison!
183
00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,166
Places!
184
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,211
I'm afraid we can't
allow you to leave.
185
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,882
For you have discovered
the island's darkest secret.
186
00:08:27,882 --> 00:08:29,383
What secret?
187
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,469
Catalina...
188
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,553
sucks.
189
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,138
Aha! I knew it!
190
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,807
We simply can't have you
leave a -- ugh --
191
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,643
a four-star review.
192
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,519
Lady, you're
about to get three.
193
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,357
Prepare for attack scene!
194
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,944
Annnd...action!
195
00:09:49,171 --> 00:09:51,424
Oh, no! The ferry!
196
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:58,222
Oh, I would like to apologize
for any inconvenience
197
00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,766
you may have experienced
during your stay.
198
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:05,021
As an apology, please accept
these two tickets...
199
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,480
to hell!
200
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,316
Alex:
Josh! Emily!
201
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,984
- Unh!
- Alex?!
202
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,277
You saved our lives!
203
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,487
I think you mean...
your marriage.
204
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,032
- Ugh!
- Holy shit! Who's that?
205
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,451
Hospitality
is my passion.
206
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:19,577
Yeah.
Don't worry about it.
207
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,078
Let's get off
this shithole!
208
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,961
Cut!
That's a wrap!
209
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,134
Alex: Ha ha!
Whoo-hoo!
210
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,594
Unh!
211
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,521
We did it right
the first time, didn't we?
212
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,607
Yeah. We did.
213
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:51,192
Both: Mmm.
214
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,237
Well, Alex,
you did it, buddy.
215
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,531
You saved the day again.
15097
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