All language subtitles for altyazi-eng

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(TARDIS WHOOSHING)

DOCTOR: Hold on!
YASMIN: We are holding on!

DOCTOR: Well, hold on tighter.

Can you do something
about this turbulence?

I'm avoiding something.

(GROANS) Can't get the hang
of these new systems.

YASMIN: What is it?

No! It's still coming for us.

(EXCLAIMS) It's a teleport pulse.

(PULSING)

(GASPS) What's that?

(TELEPORT PULSE BEEPS)

Delivery for the Doctor.

(EXCLAIMS) It's the Kerblam Man.

- It's the what?
- The Kerblam Man.

- You're just making sounds now.
- (GASPS)

Delivery fulfilled.

And remember, if you want it,
Kerblam it.

(CHUCKLES)

(TELEPORT PULSING)

(CHUCKLING)

Space postman. I've seen it all now.

Delivery bots.

Kerblam's the biggest retailer
in this galaxy.

I don't remember ordering anything.

Must have been a while back.

(GASPS)

What do you think?

Still me?

- Nice.
- Check it out.

They even used bubble wrap.
(LAUGHING)

- (POPPING BUBBLES)
- Doctor, look at this,

the back of the packing slip.

DOCTOR: "Help me."

Probably someone's just bored
out of their minds, mucking about.

Trust me, I've been there.

Should have seen what we used
to hide inside the trainers.

What if it's not?

What if someone really is in trouble?

Can't hurt to check, can it, Doc?

Right. Kerblam, here we come.

ALL: Whoa! (GROANING)

(TARDIS WHOOSHING)

(GASPS)

There's the planet Kandoka,
and we're on its moon.

Kerblam turned it
into one massive warehouse.

Look at the size of it!

Must be thousands of people in there.

How are we gonna find out
who sent that message?

Halfway across the universe
and I feel like I'm back at work.

Ryan, brilliant! Come on.

- What?
- DOCTOR: We're going undercover.

Chop chop.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Good morning,
workers. Welcome to another rewarding...

DOCTOR: Can you check again?
We just came in from Kandoka.

We must be on the list there somewhere.

Not expecting anyone new today.

Didn't even know there was a shuttle
coming in.

Do you mind if I take a look?
It might just be the spelling.

By the way, this is our reference.

(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRRING)

Oh, you're relatives of the First Lady.

Oh, did she put that?
We asked her not to.

- Didn't we, gang?
- We don't like to talk about it.

- Oh.
- Yeah, so awkward.

We're very private.

- Well, there must be some, erm...
- (DEVICE BLEEPS)

Oh, no. There you are.

- Got you. (CHUCKLES)
- (CHUCKLES)

"Private shuttle landing."

Sorry, person error.

Me, I mean, erm...

Right, well, er, let's get you
on this induction then, er...

Follow me this way.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome to another
rewarding shift at Kerblam,

fulfilling orders
from the human colony of...

- Hi.
- Good morning.

Sorry, what's your name?

Oh, Judy Maddox, Head of People.

Morning, Les. How are the family?

TEAMMATE: Good morning, Daniel.

My name is not Les, but I acknowledge
your amusing co-worker banter.

Every morning. (CHUCKLES)

So much for machine learning.

TEAMMATE: Have a great day, Dan.

- DOCTOR: Hiya.
- Good morning, new workers.

- Is it me, or are they pretty creepy?
- It ain't you.

Oi, you two. That's robophobic.

Some of my best friends are robots.

Well, you're right at home here, then.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Kerblam.
Fully-automated, people-powered.

(DEVICE WHIRRING)

(DEVICE BEEPING)

JUDY: The system allocates work details

based on fitness, stamina, dexterity,
and mental assessments.

DOCTOR: Same model as the Kerblam Man.

I love the Kerblam Man.

The TeamMates are the friendly base
of the system.

They're here to assist and supervise
the organic workers.

"Organic"?

(LAUGHING) Oh, sorry. Listen to me.

You get so used to the jargon.
Gone native.

(JUDY LAUGHS)

(DEVICE SCANNING)

- (DEVICE BEEPING)
- Oh. Two hearts?

Courtesy of the First Lady.

Very good healthcare policy.
I don't like to talk about it.

So, Kerblam is completely automated?

Er, no, 90%, as per Kandokan guidelines.

Proud to be a certified
10% People-Powered Company. (CHUCKLES)

I know some people are against quotas,
but I'm all for that one.

Mind you, I would say that, wouldn't I?
Head of People. Self-interest.

(LAUGHS) It's funny,
I don't normally talk this much.

- (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
- (ELECTRICITY POWERING DOWN)

DOCTOR: Huh.

(GASPS)

JUDY: Don't worry,
it'll come back online in a moment.

(CHUCKLES)

- Not paid your bills?
- (CHUCKLES)

Build a warehouse on the moon,
it's never going to be perfect.

We get the occasional power drain,

it's down to
the self-optimization systems.

How's the morale among the workers?

Oh. I'd like to think very good.

It... It's my job to make sure
that everyone's happy, er...

Not that it's difficult.

I mean, we're all so grateful
to have a job, right? (CHUCKLES)

We all know how hard
they are to come by.

No, I hope that people feel
it's a privilege to work at Kerblam.

TEAMMATE: Relax as I...

- (DEVICE BEEPS)
- ...1ix your group-loop.

Are we under house arrest?

Oh, no. The group-loops
monitor productivity

and report back to the system.

- (GROUP-LOOP BEEPS)
- I wore one of these at my last job.

- Oh, really, where was that?
- SportStack.

People's Republic of South Yorkshire.
(CHUCKLES)

Hmm. I don't know it, but it's nice
to meet someone with experience.

You'll feel right at home.

Yeah.

Right. Time for the tour.

Six hundred million products,
10,000 employees,

the biggest human workforce
in this galaxy,

welcome to Kerblam.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome to
another rewarding shift at Kerblam,

fulfilling orders from the human colony
of Kandoka.

10,000 workers,
one little message.

(SCOFFS)

It might take a while, this.

(VOICE CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)

The system instantly relays
customers orders

to workers in Fulfilment.

- They scan the product...
- (SCANNER BEEPS)

...and send it down
to the packing stations.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Product incoming.

JUDY: Once it's packed,

the customer's order
goes on the conveyor.

Rule number one,

keep all loose clothing, hair,
and body parts away from the conveyor,

and never, ever,
climb on to the conveyors.

Any person found on the conveyor
faces immediate termination.

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

This is Final Checks,

where parcels are inspected, sealed,

and go down the hatch to Dispatch.

Through this hatch beats the heart
of the Kerblam operation.

Hundreds of conveyors, pumping parcels
down to our fully-automated lower level.

From Dispatch,
our Postmen retrieve the parcels,

and teleport direct to the customers.

Any questions?

Can I do the packing slips?

Sorry, only purple group-loops
work the packing stations.

(DOCTOR GROANS)

Leisure breaks in the Home Zone.

Right, I'll leave you
in the capable hands of the TeamMates.

I'll be checking in on you,
make sure you're okay.

Got to keep an eye on the 10%,
as my dad used to say.

Go, Organics! (CHUCKLES)

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA)

He was, er, a bit odd, my dad.

- (WHIRRING)
- DOCTOR: Stand still, Graham.

GRAHAM: What are you doing?
DOCTOR: Switching jobs with you.

I need purple.

Whoever sent that message
had access to the packing stations.

That's where I need to be.

And where does that leave me?

TEAMMATE: Hello, co-workers.

We're so thrilled to have you with us.

Yasmin Khan, please come with me.

Ryan Sinclair, and the Doctor...
Great name.

...with my colleague to the left.

Hello, team.

Meet you at break time
in the Home Zone?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Roger Wilco.

Oh, did I ever tell you about
a bloke I met named Roger Wilco...

Hey, hey, hold on. What about me?
Where am I going?

Graham O'Brien,

a very warm welcome
to Premium Maintenance.

(SIGHS)

Not a word.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Product incoming.

You two are doing so well.

- Especially for a first day.
- DOCTOR: Thanks, Kira.

I was hoping for something
a bit less really repetitive,

- but quite enjoying it.
- (DEVICE BEEPS)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Product incoming.

- You're a ninja at this, Ryan.
- This was my life before you.

Mind you, you should have seen me
when I just started.

First month, a total nightmare.

Takes me a while
to learn things physically.

Get there in the end, but just
some stuff takes me a bit longer.

Luckily, I had mates who covered for me
in the beginning.

(SIGHS) I was terrible too,
my first week.

I'm amazed this system kept me on.

But now, I just take a deep breath
beginning of every shift

and tell myself,
"Kira Arlo, you can do this."

Sometimes I almost believe myself.
(CHUCKLES)

(SCANNER BLEEPS)

What I don't understand is,

why does Kerblam need people
as a workforce?

There are automated
and repetitive tasks.

Why not get the robots to do it?

Do you not watch the news?

- We travel a lot.
- A lot.

Kandokan labour laws.

Ever since the People Power
protest movements,

companies have to make sure
a minimum 10% of the workforce

are actual people, at all levels.

Like the slogan says,
real people need real jobs.

Work gives us purpose, right?

Some work, maybe.

- AUTOMATED VOICE: Product incoming.
- Do you want a tip?

If I ever get bored, I imagine
customers opening their parcels

back on Kandoka.

Their big smiles.

I only ever got a present the once,
but...

Oh, I can never forget how it felt.

Like... Like a little box of happiness.

(LAUGHS)

Just one present your whole life?

My birthday last year.

A little box of chocolates
from Judy, our Head of People.

Oh, it was so amazing.

What about your mum and dad,
didn't they ever get you a present?

Never knew them.

But I can still imagine
families opening these packages.

We make them happy
by doing what we do here.

(CHUCKLES)

You have a great approach to life, Kira.

Thank you.

That's so lovely of you. Nobody's ever
said something that nice to me.

Where are these packing slips
generated from?

I don't know. They just arrive here
on little instruction slips.

Kira, have you ever met anyone here
who's worried?

Or needs help?

Help with what?

- I don't know.
- (SCANNER WHIRRING)

Someone who's having a hard time,
or got themselves into trouble.

Word of advice,
the TeamMates can hear everything.

- If they choose.
- Everything?

Constant random monitoring.

No such thing as privacy here.

Are you from the union? Is that it?

Just trying to get a sense of the place.

Well, best way to get along,
do as you're told,

try not to bump into the robots.

If you can manage that,
you might end up on a poster.

That's you!

- Film star looks.
- (LAUGHING)

I got extra credit for it.

Sent a poster to my little girl
for her bedroom wall.

- How old is she?
- Six.

- Where is she?
- She's upstairs. Just had her finals.

No, she's back home on Kandoka.

She made me this.

Lacquered with arcadium.
Outlast anything, this will.

Including me.

Actually, that's a bit depressing.

TEAMMATE: Hello, co-workers.

Please confine social interaction
to leisure breaks.

YASMIN: How often
do you see your daughter?

Twice a year I splurge
on an economy shuttle.

The rest of our wages
I put away for her education.

I do this job
so she doesn't end up like her dad.

- Her dad's all right.
- Well...

I was a rubbish husband to her mum,
but I'm making up for it.

It's tough being away from family.

Well, at least I'm working.
Unlike half the galaxy.

(INHALES SHARPLY) Suppose
we've only got ourselves to blame.

Whilst we were busy
staring at our phones,

- technology went and nicked our jobs.
- Great conversation, guys,

but unnecessary talking
can lead to efficiency reductions.

Why not pick up the pace a little?

- Sure thing, Basil.
- Thank you.

He was a pole dancer
until his hips gave out. (CHUCKLES)

(LAUGHS)

I like you, Yaz. You laugh at my jokes.

(DEVICE BEEPING)

Hmm, antique lamp, section 999-55/7.

No, not a good idea.

Not on your first day.

I'll take that.
You'll get lost in the triple nines.

- Dan, I'm perfectly capable.
- I know you are.

I'm just not sure the system is.

There's barely anything
down the triple-nines anymore.

The last person to search for an order
down there got the sack.

Never saw them again.

I'm not having that happen to you.

Not on your first day.

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA)

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Kerblam performance status.

(VOICE SLOWING AND DISTORTING)
Systems currently at optimal...

(POWER SHUTTING DOWN)

Another power drain?

AUTOMATED VOICE: ...functionality.

- (POWER TURNING ON)
- System online.

All right.
It's just a glitch, back to work.

Come on, Kira.

Re-engage brain, if you can find it.

Sorry, Mr Slade.

- Hey, don't talk to her like that.
- It's okay.

- No, it's not.
- Who are you?

I'm the Doctor. I'm new. And you are?

Jarva Slade, Warehouse Executive.
Your boss.

Well, you've certainly got
the clipboard for it.

Be nicer to Kira, please.

How would you like a warning
for insubordination?

I'd love one!
I could add it to my collection.

KIRA: Doctor, don't...

Gentle people skills advice to you,
Mr Slade.

Respect goes both ways.

The best managers, the really good ones,
value their staff,

and know instinctively
if someone's in trouble,

or is asking for help.
Now, how good a manager are you?

Know anyone who needs help?

Get back to work.

All of you.

(SIGHS)

Be careful with Slade.

Last week, Zaff got a warning
for leaning on the conveyor,

- and the next day he was gone.
- RYAN: "Gone"?

Does that happen a lot?

A few have gone recently. Zaff.

Jax from the canteen.
Chinello from Maintenance.

And it... It's weird
'cause Looper called Chinello's mum

and she never arrived home.

Blimey.

(SIGHS) Scared me there, for a moment.

You should be in Dispatch,
shouldn't you? Not down here.

What are you doing?
Practising your lurking?

You hear me?

Is something wrong
with your speech circuits?

Oh, hang on. I'll report it.
Get you back to Dispatch...

YASMIN: Dan?

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

AUTOMATED VOICE: Remember, any problems,
please ask a TeamMate.

They're on your side.

Dan?

Dan?

Dan!

You down there?

- (DAN SCREAMS)
- Dan!

(PANTING) Are you there?

(GASPS)

(GASPS)

Erm, I just found these.

They belong to Dan Cooper.
Do you know where he is?

Okay, never mind!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Safety rule 198,
do not drink any of the cleaning fluids.

Yeah, yeah, I've got it now, guys.
Thank you.

Your maintenance mentor is Charlie.

Hmm? Oh, all right, cockle?

Have a productive day, team.

BOTH: Happy maintaining.

(EXHALES HEAVILY)

Graham.
Nice to meet another real person.

Charlie. I've, erm...
I've just done the gents, so...

Oh, I'll just settle for a wave, then.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Okay.

Those guys go on a bit, don't they?

I mean, that briefing
nearly lasted half my life,

and I'm 310!

I, er... I saw you arrive earlier.
Wasn't expecting anyone new down here.

Well, it's your lucky day then,
eh, Charlie-boy?

So, tell me, how all this really works.

(EXHALES) The moment there's a mess
or a spill, we get beeped.

There's strict time guidelines

on how quickly
we're supposed to get there

and how long it takes
for us to clear things up.

- Right.
- All laid out by the system.

They check up on us after every task.

So, even though everything's automated,
there's still an idiot boss.

CHARLIE: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Temporary functionality issues.

Team nine, please take an emergency
rest break in the Home Zone now.

DOCTOR: So, just to be clear,
you found Dan's scanner, crushed?

I heard him yell, and now,
there's no sign of him anywhere.

We have to find him.

There were delivery robots
like Kerblam Man? Not the TeamMates.

- No.
- You two stay with me.

I need you to find out
the history of the company.

And try and get some plans
of the complex.

How am I going to do that?

You're perfectly placed.
No one questions a cleaner.

You've got unrestricted access.

Yeah, and a chronic skin irritation.

CHARLIE: Graham,
did you sort that spill?

It's all right. All taken care of.
Don't worry.

Er, everyone, this is Charlie.

Hi, Charlie. Oh!

- Oh, no!
- Oh!

- Oh, what am I like?
- I've got it. It's okay.

- I'm so clumsy.
- Oh, I don't mind.

Really?

- Really. (CHUCKLES)
- Just such a butterfingers. (LAUGHS)

I love butter. (LAUGHS)

Oh.

Aw!

- Erm...
- So...

Bye.

(GROANS)

Workplace crush?

Reminds me of you when you were younger.

When I say younger, I mean last month.

- (LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY) Funny.
- Yeah.

Come on.
We're going to file a complaint.

DOCTOR: Dan Cooper has vanished.
Maybe you should call the police.

JARVA: There are no police here.

The authorities, then.

JUDY: We are the authorities.

Kerblam is its own jurisdiction.

We have responsibility
for all employee welfare.

Then you better be worthy
of the jobs you're holding

because a man is missing
and I don't think he's the first.

Not if this is any indicator.
This came to me in a delivery.

What do you think it means?

Not exactly cryptic.

RYAN: Someone was worried
about their own safety,

and now we're finding out
other people are going missing.

Who has access to the printing system
for those packing slips?

- Nobody.
- (SIGHS)

They're auto-generated
during the order process.

But they're placed in boxes
by the workers in Fulfilment.

Your section.

Have you tried working down there?
There's no time to add stuff to slips.

This was done somewhere else
before it gets to Fulfilment.

Something is very wrong here at Kerblam.

And if you two
don't do something about it,

I might start to suspect
that you're responsible.

We'll look into it.

You have my word.

Mine, too.

Those words better be worth something.

And if anything happens to us,
or our new friends,

or anyone else here,
you'll have me to answer to.

Too bombastic?

Felt about right.

- I kind of liked it.
- Thanks.

Laters.
Oh, won't be doing that again.

Sticking with bye.

RYAN: Catch me up with this. We storm
into Management, cause a fight,

whatever happened to being undercover?

That was before I knew
people were disappearing.

I'm stepping it up a gear.
Going straight to the top.

Oh, I bet you were the sort of kid who
liked poking a stick in a wasp's nest

- just to see what happened.
- (CHUCKLES)

Don't like bullies,
don't like conspiracies,

don't like people being in danger,
and there's a flavour of all three here.

Now, ever hidden in a panelled alcove?

- BOTH: No.
- You haven't lived.

Why are we doing this, exactly?

We wait until Slade leaves,

and then we break back
into his office, obviously.

Oh, talking of wasps,

did I ever tell you
about me and Agatha Christie?

So, how long have you
had a thing for Kira?

How did you know about that?

That's one of my superpowers, yeah.

I can detect even the most subtle
of social cues.

- Really?
- No!

It's obvious!

(CHUCKLES)

Hey, I don't know, er... It's kind of...

It's just, uh...

It's just, I can't...

I can't concentrate
when I'm near her.

It's like I forget everything
I'm supposed to be doing.

Man, have you smelt her?

Strangely enough, I haven't.

She smells perfect. (CHUCKLES)

- Really?
- I haven't told anyone else.

But I've been on there for a long time.

I can tell.
Charlie, can I be honest with you?

I suppose.

See, you know your way around here,

but I am going to need
a little bit of help.

See, because I get easily confused.

A bit like you when Kira's around.

(CHUCKLES)

And I cannot get my nut
around the shape of this place

'cause it's way too big, but...

If I had like, a, er...
Some sort of...

- Diagram of...
- A diagram of Kerblam's layout,

maybe I could find things a bit easier.

See? 'Cause without it, I ain't
gonna last long in the job, am I?

'Cause it'll take me hours
to get to the next spill.

I reckon I could get that.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Our reception
is currently in night mode.

CHARLIE: These artefact cabinets
contain the entire history of Kerblam.

From the prototype Delivery Bot
right up to today.

Designs, layout, everything.

Right, won't somebody miss 'em?

- (CABINET OPENING)
- Ah. Just for show.

Like you say, we're only borrowing.

Not like anyone pays attention

- to this stuff.
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.

And you've got the codes
for all of these, have you?

The insides of these cabinets
need polishing too, you know.

Yeah, of course they do. Right.

Mind if I get a friend
to help me study these?

- What?
- Thank you, cockle. Come on.

Nothing to see here, mate.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Please activate a TeamMate...

(POWERING UP)

(BEEPS)

YASMIN: I thought Slade'd never leave.

DOCTOR: What do we think, then?

If this is Slade's office,

and everything
in this company is automated,

- why does he need a clipboard?
- Or a filing cabinet?

Khan and Sinclair,
the greatest detectives in the galaxy.

(LAUGHS)

- (FILING CABINET DOOR THUDS)
- Locked.

(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRS)

Oh! Paperwork, very retro.

Now, what sort of paperwork
does Slade keep locked away?

(GASPS)

RYAN: What is it?

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Oh, my God.

JUDY: You'd better have
a very good excuse for breaking in here.

Your group-loops
told me you were back here.

Oh, I knew that, but I forgot that.

That's the problem with conspiracies,
there's so much to think about.

What if I said we got lost,
ended up in here by accident,

just as that filing cabinet
weirdly fell open,

how would that play?

There were no shuttles
from Kandoka today.

I checked.

Who are you? Industrial spies?

I was being honest with you earlier.

We got a message,
someone needed help, and we came.

People are vanishing
and Mr Slade is keeping a running tally.

Seven people so far.

According to these notes, it started
four months ago with two workers.

The next month, another.
This month, four.

The disappearances are on the increase.

No wonder people are sending out
cries for help.

And as Head of People for Kerblam,

I suggest you're guilty
of some serious negligence.

- (ELECTRICITY POWERING DOWN)
- (ALL GASP)

Another power drain.

That's not a power drain.
That's a total system blackout.

(DEVICE CHIMES)

Power's drained right down
to the Foundation Levels.

What's down in the Foundation Levels?

GRAHAM: I can help with that.

Charlie, what are you doing up here?

- Sorry, Judy.
- He's with me.

And he's with us.

And they are the original plans
for Kerblam.

What are you doing with those?
Those are company artefacts.

- Was this down to you?
- RYAN: More urgent question,

if everything's automated
and all the power's shut down,

why is that robot still active?

Oh, good question.
Back behind me, everyone.

Error reported. Error reported.

- Hey, Charlie, don't, mate.
- No, I can... I can look at it.

TEAMMATE: Error reported.

- (BLEEPS) Error reported.
- (GASPS)

- (GASPS)
- TEAMMATE: Investigating.

Charlie!

- TEAMMATE: Investigating.
- (WHIRRING)

- Investigating.
- YASMIN: Doctor!

- Do something!
- Investigating.

DOCTOR: I'm trying!
The receptor codes are fluctuating!

- (VOICE DISTORTING) Investigating.
- (GRUNTS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(ALL GASP)

(ALL PANTING)

JUDY: Are you all right?
Deep breaths, now.

You're safe.

- This has never happened before...
- (WHIRRING)

- ...with any of the robots.
- YASMIN: You're wrong.

When Dan Cooper went missing,
there were three of those,

dressed in those Postmen uniforms,
walking the shelving.

They came after me!

Well, that... That's not possible.

The delivery bots never leave Dispatch.

We'd know. The system would tell us.

I would respectfully suggest
that you can't trust your system.

- (ELECTRICITY POWERING UP)
- Oh!

And we're back online.

But the receptor cells
on this are all blown out.

- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
- Whoo!

RYAN: Hey, Doctor, be careful.

- (WHIRRING)
- (ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRRING, BLEEPING)

Oh, it's as if the system's
suddenly channelled all its energy

into this one, single TeamMate.

The system's attacking us?

It's like the system's gone rogue.

JUDY: Of course, it's gone rogue.

Nobody would do
any of this deliberately.

If I ever find out that you're lying...

I have worked for years

to make Kerblam
more of a people-powered company.

My career has been about
bringing people like Charlie here,

people who need a second chance,
haven't I?

It's true.
She's the reason most of us are here.

She selects all the workers.

We owe her a lot.

I've never seen these papers of Slade's
before now.

Those names, Zaff, Jax, Chinello,
the others,

they're active on the system.

According to the system,
they're still alive and working!

(SIGHS) There are 10,000 people here.

I can't keep track of them all.

YASMIN: So what do we do, Doctor?

If I could get a copy
of the original code

I could hack in, isolate the upgrades
and see what it's up to.

So you'll need Kerblam version 1.0.

That'd be hundreds of years old,
wouldn't it?

And I think we can help with that.

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA)

Kerblam deliverable version 1.0,
also known as Twirly.

I don't think we should do this.
If Mr Slade finds out, he'll...

Leave Slade to me. Let's just hurry up
before the TeamMates

- come on their patrol.
- (WHIRRING)

- (MACHINE BEEPS)
- (SIGHS) Here we go, Twirly.

Nice to meet you.

Quite cute, isn't it?

RYAN: (ON MONITOR) It's kind of retro.

DOCTOR: Well, he is getting on a bit.

I love a bit of retro.

(WEAPON POWERING UP)

(HUMMING)

TEAMMATE: Kira Arlo.

Hi, yes.

Sorry, I didn't hear you there.
I was in my own little world.

You are an exceptional worker,
Kira Arlo.

Am I?

We are thrilled to reveal

you've been designated
Employee of the Day.

(GASPS) Oh. Wow!

(STAMMERS) I didn't even know
there was a such a thing.

And in recognition of your work,

Kerblam has a gift for you.

A gift?

BOTH: Come with us.

TWIRLY: Customers who selected
these items

also bought ear mufflers,
pencil sharpeners and cobbler bottles.

Say "ves" now to order these three
for the price of the cheapest two.

- No.
- Thank you.

I have stored your preferences.

And remember, if you want it,
Kerblam...

(POWERS DOWN)

Oh, it's out of juice.

Needs a big recharge
before I can access the code.

- (BEEPING)
- Maintenance stores everything there.

That's not a good idea.

Doctor, I've just had a notification

that one of the workers
from Packing has gone missing.

Her group-loop's disappeared
right off the system.

Name of Kira Arlo.

- What? Kira, but...
- We have to find her!

I thought you said the system didn't
notify you when someone went missing.

Well, it didn't until now.

It's like it's sending us
a deliberate message.

It knows we're on to it.

Where was the signal last recorded?

- Erm...
- (DEVICE BLEEPING)

Dispatch.

That's not possible.
No people are allowed down there.

Dispatch. Foundation Levels, right?

Where the power's drained down to.

Well, how do we get to her?

You can't, it's fully automated.
There's not even a route down.

But she got down there somehow.

You get what you need from that robot,
Yaz, Charlie, come with me.

We'll find Kira.

Hang on,
how are you going to get down there?

I know how these places work.

(LAUGHING)

Get ready
to stick it to rule number one.

You did this in your last job?

Yeah, once.

- How did it go?
- Really badly.

Sprained ankle and a final warning.

CHARLIE: Come on, we have to find Kira.

I should let you know
I have a coordination problem.

Not super serious, but you know.

Makes life really interesting.

And frustrating. And difficult.

Especially at moments like this.

You don't have to come.
I can find Kira on my own.

Mate, that's not how we roll.
Is it, Yaz?

Nope. We're all in.

- (CHUCKLES)
- All right. Dispatch, here we come.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

TEAMMATE: Here you are, Kira.

Thanks.

Sorry, what's this?

Make yourself at home.

(ALL SCREAMING)

YASMIN: Are you sure about this?

We'll be safe, won't we?

Definitely!
I mean, the parcels are safe.

We're just parcels now.

- (SCREAMS)
- (GROANS)

But the parcels get wrapped
in bubble wrap to protect them!

- From what?
- Oh, my days...

- (EXCLAIMS)
- CHARLIE: From that!

- (SCREAMING)
- Did you ever like roller-coasters?

CHARLIE: We're gonna die!
YASMIN: We're going too fast!

(ALL SCREAMING)

(RYAN PANTING)

I did it! That was amazing!

We're amazing!

Charlie, you're the man.

- (CHARLIE SCREAMING)
- Oh!

- Charlie!
- Charlie!

- (GROANS)
- YASMIN: We're coming.

I can't jump down there.

Of course, you can.

We both can. Right?

On one, two,

- three...
- (SCREAMING)

(YASMIN SCREAMING)

(BOTH PANTING)

We did it.

We're not dead. We're totally not dead.

DOCTOR: Right, Twirly, all charged up.

- (WHIRRING)
- (TWIRLY POWERING UP)

TWIRLY: ...blam it!
You may also like to know

we have a one-hour offer on cushions.

Cushions liven up
the grimmest workplace, like this one.

Twirly, hi. I'm the Doctor and this
is Graham, and this is Judy.

Can you pause all sales protocols
for a bit?

- Even the upselling?
- Even the upselling.

You just had a nap of about 200 years.
So your offers are out of date, anyway.

Without upselling,
my only purpose is delivery.

We don't need you to do that
either, mate.

The future is very confusing
for my protocols.

I serve Kerblam
and Kerblam serves the people.

Which is why we need your help.

There are my Kerblam credentials,
my own executive-read code.

We need you to carry out a task
which may fundamentally save Kerblam.

I'm only a delivery bot!

See, now you've made it nervous.

Don't panic, Twirly. You can do this.

It's possible that Kerblam
has been compromised.

I'm gonna patch you into the system.

I need you to look far and wide
past new upgrades,

and firewalls and security patches
into the base code

that only you can recognise.

And then you can tell us what's going on
and deliver the information to us.

Retrieve and deliver, I understand.

This might tickle.

TWIRLY: OA. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Help. Help. Help. Help.

- Help.
- What happened?

Help me. Help me.

Why are you saying that?

Not Twirly speaking, the system.
Kerblam. Help me, Doctor.

Help me. Help me, Doctor.

- The system sent the message.
- Help me.

It printed the slip.

It sent it out.

But why would the system need help?

Twirly, what do you mean?
What sort of help? How can we help?

Help required in Dispatch.

Help in Dispatch. Urgent help.

Doc. Look,
they've all just gone down there.

Disinfection post. Get down!

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Organic contamination detected.

Initiate disinfection.

Disinfection process unsuccessful.

- (GROANS) It tastes like...
- Organic contamination persists.

Hygiene defences activated.

- Initiate disintegration.
- Run!

- Disintegration process is complete.
- (ALL SCREAMING)

CHARLIE: This... This way! Follow me!

- (PANTING)
- Run!

(SCREAMS)

(EXCLAIMS)

I'm never doing that again.

So we're at the Foundation Level.

Yeah.

WOMAN: (VOICE ECHOING) Hello?

Help!

That's Kira's voice.

How did she get down here?

I think it came from this way.

DOCTOR: I'm stupid. Really stupid.
Can you believe how stupid I am?

Is that a rhetorical question?

I can't believe
I didn't think of it sooner.

There's too many things going on.

To many variables.
My brain's too crowded.

What is she talking about?

No idea. You get used to it.
She normally explains in the end.

These delivery bots
have got teleport circuits.

- See?
- We don't have to go on the conveyor

down to Dispatch if I can

- hijack their circuit for one moment...
- (WHIRRING)

- Move away from the delivery bot.
- No, Slade, don't.

(GASPS)

Very bad manners
to point guns at people.

- I've never warmed to you.
- (GASPS)

So, tell us what you've done.

- (ENERGY GUN CLATTERS)
- We saw the list.

The names of the victims
you've targeted.

What? I'm not targeting people.
I'm recording the missing!

Oh. So it's not you?

No.

Something's wrong with the system,
but I don't know what.

That's why I had to make sure
my notes were analogue.

I thought it was you.

I've been tracking you
since you arrived.

- We're trying to help!
- Soam I.

But what am I supposed to do?

There's no one to report this to.
No one to stop it.

- There's only the system.
- JUDY: There's me.

I'm responsible for every person here.
You could have told me.

I didn't know whether I could trust you.

- I still don't.
- (GASPS)

GRAHAM: Hey, Doc,
come have a look at this.

Some kind of goo and group-loops,
why are they in there?

(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRS, BLEEPS)

I think these are the remnants
of the missing workers.

We're under a vast liquidisation tank.

Of what?

You mean, the robots are kidnapping
the workers then liquidising them?

What I don't understand is why.

- GRAHAM: Anyone got a tissue?
- Whoa!

GRAHAM: Looks like an army.

Hello?

Kira!

Kira! She can't hear us.

- Let me find the entrance.
- We've got to get her out.

Why is she in there?

Hmm.

YASMIN: There's no access from here.
We can't get her out.

Complaints have been coming
about the late deliveries.

This must be why.

Everything's stuck here,
nothing's going out.

What's happened?

Being held back.

(GASPS) The power drains.

(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRRING)

Fast teleportation hardware

with huge reserves of power building up.

What if the power's being drained
to be stored

for one huge, simultaneous teleport.

All these deliveries, all at once.

To do what?

You said it looked like an army.

What do armies carry?

Weapons?

But that's not a weapon, it's a toy.

And every parcel's
got something different in it.

Almost.

Except, what does every parcel here
have in common?

(BUBBLE WRAP CRINKLES)

(BREATHING SHAKILY)

No, Kira, don't!

(POPS)

- (WHOOSHIONG)
- (GASPS)

YASMIN: Oh, my God.

Is that what happened to Dan?

And all the others, too?

You knew something was gonna happen?

YASMIN: Charlie?

He's... He's done this deliberately.

We need to find the Doctor.

(WHIRRING)

(BLEEPS)

Tangly bubble wrap.

Totally innocuous,

apart from when it's intercepted here
and weaponised!

Sheets of tiny little bombs

ready to explode and kill.

Every parcel, a death trap.

The workers aren't the targets,
it's the customers!

Kerblam's trying to kill
their own customers?

That's the worst business plan
I've ever heard.

YASMIN: Doctor, we've found you!

Kira's dead,
and Charlie had something to do with it.

- What?
- CHARLIE: Not Kira!

It wasn't meant for her.

The system took her.
It's been fighting back against me.

Because it knew what you were planning.
The maintenance man!

Access to everywhere,
noticed by hardly anyone.

Have you been killing other workers?

I needed test subjects to be sure

the detonation forces would work
in such a small concentration.

What... What?
Charlie, how do you know all this stuff?

I lied on my application.

Gave you a sob story
so you'd let me in and you bought it.

I've studied cybernetics, explosives,
teleportation.

I have worked for this.

I don't understand it.

Ten percent.

They want us to be grateful
that 10% of people get to work.

What about the other 90%?
What about our futures?

Because without action, next time
it will be 7%, then five, then one.

I am stronger than you.

I am not going to stand by
and accept it.

People like me, my generation,
we change things.

We make things happen.

Even if it costs people's lives?

You kill a load of customers at Kerblam,
let the systems take the fall for it,

erode people's trust in automation,
make people angry.

Imperfect technology
without a conscience.

Machines malfunction,
that's what they do.

No, mate, that's what you're doing.
Seriously malfunctioning.

I'm not your mate.

Except Kerblam's system
does have a conscience.

It's been fighting you, Charlie.
It knew it.

It sent a message across the galaxy
begging for help.

That TeamMate in Slade's office,
it was coming for you.

And then Kira,

it took her,
knowing how you felt about her,

to show you how it would feel.

Because how you feel right now
about Kira

is how all those families and friends
will feel if your plan goes off.

I don't care.

I think you do.
I think you came here with a plan,

but you didn't expect to fall in love.

But that's what happens.

Use it, Charlie. Learn from it, please.

No! No.

If that's the price to change
how everyone on Kandoka sees technology,

then it is worth it for the cause.

This isn't a cause.
You're not an activist.

This is cold-blooded murder.

We can't let the systems take control!

The systems aren't the problem.

How people use and exploit the system,
that's the problem.

People like you.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)
I don't care what you think.

The delivery goes ahead.

(DEVICE BEEPS)

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Mass delivery procedures initiated.

YASMIN: Someone grab that controller!

- (GRUNTING)
- (GASPS)

- What have you done?
- Mass delivery...

You can't stop it now. (GROANS)

Make it stop!

We are not gonna let you kill
all those innocent people.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Destination coordinates locked.

- Preparing teleport.
- (WHIRRING)

Doc, I hope you've got an idea
of how to fix that.

Not enough time to fix it.

Wait, new idea.

(SIGHS) Not enough time for that either.

Maybe worth a go.

- "Maybe"?
- I mean "definitely."

- Grab the postman's head.
- What?

Just like Judy did in the office. Do it!

- Okay.
- DOCTOR: Now!

- (CHARLIE STRUGGLING)
- DOCTOR: I need to stop this.

(GRUNTING)

Does she know what she's doing?

Some of the time, definitely.

Oi! Get back here!

- Stop it!
- Charlie!

(PANTING)

She can't stop it now.

Those deliveries
are going to be teleported out.

I'm sorry.

- (WHIRRING)
- Twirly, I need your help.

(BLEEPING) Sleep mode off.

Hello, again. Customers
with your current medical symptoms

- browse blood pressure medication.
- This is important.

I've linked you in to the new system,
to all the delivery bots.

And I have a request.

AUTOMATED VOICE: How may we help?

Change of delivery address.

For every order about to teleport,
new address, right here.

This hangar, right where we're standing.

I want every Kerblam Man
to deliver to themselves.

AUTOMATED VOICE:
Delivery orders accepted.

I want every Kerblam Man

to open the order
they've just delivered to themselves,

making sure they do what everybody does
with bubble wrap.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Orders confirmed.

Charlie.

Get back up here, please!

AUTOMATED VOICE: Delivery in process.

- What's going on?
- Delivery received.

Doctor, they're about to detonate.

Charlie, last chance.

Get out of there, now.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Opening delivery.

Activating bubble wrap.

- Doc, get us out of here.
- And, remember,

- if you want it...
- (WHIRRING)

...Kerblam it!

(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)

(ELECTRICITY POWERING DOWN)

(SONIC SCREWDRIVER WHIRRING)

(PANTING)

"If you want it, Kerblam it."

AUTOMATED VOICE: Kerblam is experiencing
a momentary technical difficulty.

Our expert engineers are already working
to get the systems up and running again

as quickly and safely as possible.

In the meantime, why not consider
a personal mindful moment?

JARVA: We're suspending all operations
for a month, pending review.

And while the TeamMates
are rebuilding Dispatch...

JUDY: All our workers have been given
two weeks paid leave.

Free return shuttle transport.

And I'm going to propose

that Kerblam becomes
a people-led company in future.

Majority organics...
People, I mean. (CHUCKLES)

We're always looking for good workers
to join our management team.

Uh, thanks.

We're strictly freelance.

(BLEEPING)

YASMIN: Doctor, can I make a request?

Always.

If Dan hadn't switched scanners,
it would have been me in that test room.

He saved my life.

I want to take this to his daughter.

Tell her how much he loved it.

How much he loved her.

It's the least we can do.

Put it down.
It's Kerblam bubble wrap.

Er, are you sure you want to pop that?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Let us put the accused to the test.

- Granny!
- WOMAN: King James.

MAN: We must purify your land.

WOMAN: We shall not be stopped.

Arrest the witch!