All language subtitles for Northern.Exposure.S02E07.1080p.BDRip.x264.Rus.Eng-EniaHD_en

Okay, make a gentle 60
to the right and pull out.

We ought to go away
for a couple of days.

We haven't done that
in a long time.
Yeah.

Somewhere where
they warm the towels.

Let me see. Make a 30 to the left,
holding altitude.

How am I doing?
You'll pass.

Course, sleeping with
the examiner doesn't hurt.

Let's go home.

What are you doing?
Hmm?

The signal light.

Oh, yeah.
It's, uh- It's red.

Hello, Cicely, rise and shine.
This is K-Bear, Chris in the Morning.

Hey, there's Shelly puttin' out
the breakfast special.

Everybody come on down
and let me buy ya a free breakfast, huh?

Today, a belated apology to
the much-maligned Chicken Little.

Turns out you were right.
The sky is falling.

The National Space Administration informs us
that Uncle Sam's Comsat 4 satellite...

is in a rapidly decaying orbit.

That's their way of saying
a ton of angry space trash...

is heading back home
at 15,000 miles an hour.

So what does that make me think of?.
Makes me think of a triceratops...

innocently munching a palm frond,
when out of the sky, whammo!

A meteor sucker punches
old Mother Earth.

Next thing ya know, that triceratops...

and a hundred and 75 million years
of dinosaur evolution's nothin' but history.

So, for the unsung triceratops and all his kin,

this here song's for you.

This will make an outstanding
bed and breakfast.

Did I tell you that this home
is being considered...

for historical monument status?

The original owner was Iván Lubov.
Course you know who he was.
Made a fortune in beaver hats.

Anyway, in 1911, he built this
dream home for his bride.

It's got real Italian marble.
There's, uh,

genuine rosewood floors
underneath this...

and, uh, teak moldings.

It's amazing what a man'll do
for a little woman. Heh-heh!

Uh, all it needs is a coat of paint, some Spackle.
It's move-in condition.

Give us a second.

We're prepared to offer 44,000.

Gentlemen-
the, uh, asking price is 55.

Well, that's just out of the question.

We could go up to 46,500,
but that's it.

You fellas have yourselves a deal.

Shelly?

Shelly, could I have a refill?

Ah, you horny toad.

No, I'm just a bear
who wants his honey.

Mmm-mmm.

Hi.

The F.A.A. called.
You told them I was color blind.

Yeah.
You told them.

Look, Rick, it was one of the hardest decisions
I ever had to make!

It's bad enough you didn't sign me off!.
What'd ya have to go do a thing like that for?

It's the law!

I'm not that color blind.
Oh, you're not?

I just have a little problem
with red and green.
"A little problem''!

Red means stop. Green means go.

Maggie, they are pulling my license.

Well, I'm sorry.

You're sorry? You wreck my life,
and that's all you can say? You're sorry?

Look, I'm the one that should be angry.
You had no right to ask me
to be your examiner.

You knew you were color blind.
You're my girlfriend. We live together.
You're supposed to look out for me.

But I was looking out for you!
What if I passed you
and then you got into an accident?

Then what?
I don't mean for you
to look out for me like that.

I mean for ya to look out for me
the way that I mean!
Uh, the way that you're supposed to!

It is unbelievable.

Truly incredible.
My eyes?

O'Connell.
She would actually flunk you.

What an act of betrayal.

But I don't get-
How long have you been a pilot?
Eight years.

Well, didn't you need a physical
to get your license?
Yeah.

How'd ya pass it?
You know the Ishihara test
for color blindness?

It's a book.
Yeah.

I memorized it.
Really?

Well, your memory's good.
Isn't there something I can do?

No, there's nothing.
Ahh, some exercises?
Special glasses?

Rick, there's nothing wrong with your eyes.
They're perfectly normal.
You're color blind- color deficient actually.

A lot of men are.
It's hereditary.

I mean, no offense, but I personally prefer
to fly with a pilot who can see
the full spectrum of colors.

Much in the same way, if I were-
if I were having neurosurgery,
I'd like a doctor with 10 fingers.

Still...

you gotta wonder.

If O'Connell would
do that to a boyfriend,

what would she do to someone
she kept her clothes on with?

You remember that?

Yeah. You-

You know what we could do?
We could get everybody in town
to write a letter.

Like when Cagney & Lacey got dumped
and all these people wrote in
and they put it back on TV?

Maybe we could get
your wings back.

Well, listen.
I wouldn't get too bummed out.

I got this cousin who had to stop
driving a semi, 'cause this guy hit him
in the head with a tow bar.

And he is doin' just fine
sellin' lightbulbs.

Holling? I thought you two
might like some more coffee.

This- Shelly, this is Anita.
I knew her in Nome
back in the glory days.

We haven't seen each other
in what, 20 years?
Yeah, but who's countin'?

Anita, this is my Shelly.
Hi, honey.

- Hi.
- Oh, she's adorable. She looks just like you.

You didn't tell me
you had a daughter.

Well, I'm not his daughter.
I'm his- What?

Uh, she's my almost-wife.

Oh, my!
Holling Vincoeur, I should've known!

You always were a devil!
Anita used to breed malamutes.

Had the finest sled dogs north of 60.

Nobody could handle
a pair of reins like Holling.

The dogs just loved him.
They'd run till they dropped.
Come and sit with us.

Oh, well, I can't.
I got some orders comin' up.

Have you been to Nome lately?
It's sad, isn't it?

Ohh.
The old gang's all gone.

Yep.
They're either dead,
moved off or in jail.

Yeah, that's the truth.

Look at the poor guy.
just for my own curiosity,

as a physician with an interest
in aberrant psychological behavior-

Now, why would you
do such a thing?

Were you pissed at him?
What, he wasn't doing
his share of the housework?

As a certified flight instructor,
Fleischman, I have obligations
regardless of my personal life.

You know what I think it is?
I think it's this competitive thing
you have with men.

I don't think you really like us.
Only you, Fleischman.

I mean, I know you-you like to
have a man between the sheets
every now and then.

What I'm saying is,
I don't think you really like us.
You know, "like us'' like us?

If you weren't such a moron,
Fleischman, you might understand
my position.

All right. Let me explain to you as simply
as possible. Rick could kill himself
and then I'd be responsible.

Aha.
"Aha'' what?

I get it. This "dead boyfriend'' thing.
The jinx. The curse. They all croak on you.
You think Rick's doomed.

Calling you a moron
is an insult to morons.

Broccoli has more brain power.
Brussels sprouts, cauliflower-

What?

Where'd he go?

What are you lookin' at?

Okay. Right there's fine.

Dr. Fleischman, you gotta see this.

I came as fast as I could.
I'm sure he would have
appreciated that, Joel.

How? H-H-How'd it happen?

Satellite fell on him.

The satellite? It-It hit Rick?
The-The satellite hit Rick?

Well, not the whole satellite.
Some of it disintegrated comin' in,
but a good part of it, yeah.

Oh, man!
Yeah. There's a problem.

A problem? You mean,
more than him being dead?
Come on. We better take a look.

Oh, God!

I've been in combat.
I've seen men die
a hundred different ways.

But I've never,
ever seen anything like this.

Look at him!
Yeah.

It's like Rick and the-
the satellite- It's like they-

Merged. Fused.

Combined into one.
How does something like this happen?

It's your basic physics.
Let me explain reentry to you.

When this thing hit the earth's atmosphere,
it was going 15,000 miles an hour.

The friction was terrific.
This baby came in hot.

- Boy, Rick sure was lucky.
- Lucky? He's dead.

Yeah, but how many people
get to get hit by a satellite?

I'll bet he makes
the Guinness Book of Worid Records.

So, Joel, how do you plan
on getting 'em apart?

Get 'em apart?
I, uh- Why ask me?

You think they teach this
in medical school?

You don't need a doctor.
You need a- a blacksmith, a metallurgist.

Yeah, it's kind of hard
to tell where Rick stops
and the satellite begins.

Yeah, I guess we better face the fact-
these two are inseparable.

Anyone tell Maggie?

No, and when you tell her,
go easy on her.

She's had a bad run
of luck with her beaux.

Wait a minute. Wait.
Why do I have to tell her?
I'm not gonna tell her.

Well, you're the doctor, son.
It goes with the territory.

Hi, Maggie. How are you?

What's your problem?

May I join you?

just tell me what you want,
Fleischman.

It's just I want, uh-
I- I want to apologize...

for yesterday.

All right, Fleischman.
What needs fixing?

What?
No. Nothing.
It's just the things I said yesterday...

were thoughtless and insensitive,
and I regret them.

Yeah?

What?
That's all really, and, uh-

What?
Well-

How are things?

Rick didn't come home
last night, okay?

If he wants to behave
like a child, then let him.

I mean, if I have to be
the bad guy, okay.

But I am not going to have
another death on my hands.

I mean- All right.

I admit it. I do.
I am... sensitive.

I've lost four boyfriends. Four.
Do you know how that feels?

And, of course, I ask myself,
"Is that me? Is it something that I do?''

What is it, Fleischman?
You wanna tell me something.
I can tell by your face.

Yes, yes. I do.
I want to tell you something.

What?
Ajoke.

Ajoke?
Yeah.

Uh, see, um, this guy goes on a trip,

and, uh, he leaves his cat
with his friend.

Well, he calls his friend
and asks how the cat is.
Guy says, "The cat is dead.''

The guy says, "Geez.

"God, couldn't you break the news to me
a little more gently? You know, lead into it-

"Your cat crawled up on the roof,
there was a loose tile, and he took a little fall.'
Like that.''

Next month,
the guy goes on another trip.

Calls his friend
and asks how his mom is.

Guy says, "Well- She crawled up
on the roof and there was a loose tile.''

Not bad.

Rick crawled up on the roof.

I've never seen anything like it before.

Poor Rick.

With those things comin' out of his head,
he looked like the Statue of Liberty.

Now, I don't want you to think
this kind of thing happens frequently.

No, sir. This is a first.

Matter of fact, statistically speaking,

Cicely is the safest place to live
in the United States.

What do you think?

Mmm. Delicious. Really good.

I think it could use just a tad
of cayenne pepper.

Maurice, do you have
any balsamic vinegar?

Yeah, it's in that cupboard right there.

Well, fellas, chow's on.

You wanna get
the pasta there, Ron?
Sure.

The chaise, is it Empire?
Ah, no. That's Country Friar.

Oh, I always get it wrong.
Erick's the antique maven in the family.

? The corn is as high
as an elephant's eye?

It's a terrific collection, Maurice.
You know, he's got the complete Mitzi Gaynor.
Yeah?

- He's even got that bootleg Ethel Merman.
- I'm glad you enjoy good music.

- There are a lot of people around here
who couldn't care less.
- I can imagine.

Uh, how long have you been
in the hotel game?
Well, actually, this is our first venture.

We, uh, were in a dog-grooming business
for the last seven years.

Eight.
Eight. Really?

- All right. What year'd we get together?
- '83. We met at Dan Presley's Halloween party.

That was '84.
No, '84 we were at Russian River.

That's right.
I, uh, forgot all about that party.

Erick came as Barbra Streisand.

- That a fact?
- Anyway, last year we're on vacation
at this little bed and breakfast in Seattle,

and we thought,
"Now, this is a great way to live.''

- Uh-huh.
- You know, Maurice, you move to a new town,
you set up a business-

Uh, it's a big step.
You worry about things.

But already we've met someone
we have a lot in common with.

We feel very good about
makin' the move up here.

You hated the idea of statehood.
I did not!

Holling Vincoeur, you did too!
Now, I remember a night
in the Last Chance.

You stood up on the bar
and you told everybody that
the day Alaska became a state,

you could kiss
the wilderness good-bye.

Well, I'm, uh-
Wait a minute.

- I thought Alaska was always a state.
- Oh, no.

- Not till '59.
- Now, just think, hon.

We were squabblin' and fightin' back then.
You weren't even a twinkle in your papa's eye.

I guess.

Well, anyway, I think what happened
to Rick is really the pits.

Yeah. It was a terrible thing.

Reminds me of Abe Kellog
when he got caught in
the machinery at the cannery.

They had to recall
a hundred cases of salmon.

I'll never forget that funeral,

watchin' them lower all those
little bitty cans into the ground.

Hey, is anybody hungry?
I could put the chicken potpies in.

You remember the day
they voted in statehood?

The whole territory was one huge party.

Oh, there was dancin' in the streets.

Yeah. Bonfires everywhere
lightin' up the sky.

And those fellas in Fairbanks
pourin' gold dye in the Chena River.

There's never been
anything like it since.

Hey, you should've seen
the beer bust we had when we beat
Cessford High in the regionals.

We had a band that looked
just like Motley Crue.

And everybody got really bombed...

and went out and stole
people's sprinkler heads and stuff.

It was a riot.

There's my little darlin'.

You got a lot of energy.
I sure have.

I'd think you'd be pooped after
all that yakking you did tonight.

Yeah, it was nice seeing
that ol' gal again.

How come we never talk like that?

Like what?

Like you and Anita.

We talk, Shelly.
Not like that.

All we ever talk about
is moose meat and pickles
and how sticky the tables get.

We never just "talk'' talk.

Oh, honey, that's not true.

It is too! All you ever
want to do is grope me.

Well, today didn't we have
a conversation about orderin' you
a new pair of shoes?

That doesn't count.

You and Anita talk about
friends and stuff you did.

I wanna talk like that.

Well, Shelly, honey,
I've known Anita for 40 years.

So?
Well, I don't know.

With you it's different.

Come on, Shelly.
Haven't we talked plenty just now?

Rick got hit by a spaceship today.

Yeah.

Well, I think you're bein' really selfish.

Hi, Gary.
Hello, Maggie.

Gary.

I- I brought these for you.

They're cookies-

oatmeal... with raisins.

Thank you.
I thought you might be hungry.

Place sure looks nice.
Do you wanna come in?

Thanks.
Hah.

So, Gary, would you like some tea?

I was just about to make a cup.
You know, Maggie, me and Rick
were real good friends.

Yeah, I-I know that, Gary.

Last winter, fishin' on Lake Kachuga,
we fell through the ice together.

I lost two toes.
Yeah, Rick told me about that.

Point is, if Rick could talk,
you know what I think he'd say?

I think he'd say ol' Gary
ought to get first shot.

At what?

You. First shot.

I mean, now that you're single.
Well, wait a minute. Whoa.
You came here to hit on me?

Oh, I'm not afraid...

even if you are poison.

Hell, I been alone so long,
I'd be happy with two good weeks.

Rick's not even buried yet.

Well, I could wait a couple days
if you'd feel more comfortable.

I want you to leave right now.

There's electricity up at my place
and my pickup's all paid for.

Go!
Okay.

just one thing-
I lent Rick my set of crescent wrenches.

Get out! Now! Go!

When I heard about Rick, first thing
I thought was, "Klaatu barada nikto,''

those immortal words
which toggled off the robot Gort
in The Day the Earth Stood Still.

You know, when that movie was made,
robots werejust stuff of fiction.

But, hey, not anymore,
with artificial intelligence...

and robotics, bio-implants.

Not only are we making smart machines,
we're becoming smart machines.

So what's all this got to do with Rick,
you ask?

Well, I'm just thinking he might be
the next step in this evolutionary process.

Dig this: Yesterday,

when NASA's sweet flower
of the imagination married Rick,

he crossed the line
between man and machine.

He became the future-
Homo Novus, the new man.

Think about that.

Hey, boss, what's up?

I brought you some things from home.
I'm not going to be needing 'em anymore.

Oh, yeah? Thanks.
Yeah. Pasta maker,
Cuisinart, soufflé dish.

Wait a second.
This is all your gourmet stuff.
From now on, I'm sticking to barbecue.

Huh!

Fondue pot.

Boy, I've had some good times
with this baby.

Maurice, I don't have a kitchen.
Well, you might someday.

And let me just say this:
All the great chefs in the worid...

were notorious womanizers,
real skirt-chasers.

You know what I'm talking about?
No, I don't think so.

Well, they were.
Do you like, uh, Judy Garland?

How 'bout Gwen Verdon?
All right. What's goin' on?

Chris, when I mention show tunes
to you, what-what image does that
conjure up in your mind?

Homosexuals, I guess.

- There you go!
- What do you- Is that what this is about?

Two deviants whom I unsuspectingly
invited into my home...

deduced from my things-
things of beauty- things that I
used to get innocent pleasure from,

that I was, in fact, a fellow traveler.

Maurice Minnifield has never had
an impure thought about another man
in his life!

Well, there-there was one...

unsettling dream where I was
wrestling with David Niven.

But I-I swear to you, nothing happened.

I will not be perceived by anybody as anything
other than a dyed-in-the-wool hetero!
You know what?

- You better hold on to this stuff.
- You haven't been listening
to a word I've said, have you?

Yes, I have. And the thing is, Maurice,
you don't wanna appear to be overreacting.

All right? You wanna present an image
of a man who's very comfortable
with his sexuality.

just what in the hell
are you talking about?

Men who are freaked by homosexuals,
they usually have tendencies
in that direction themselves.

Now, don't you start in on me!
There's no hidden agenda here!

This is legitimate outrage.
Now, if you don't want this stuff, fine.
Fine. I'll find somebody who does.

Is there something
I can help you with, Shelly?

Uh, you got any history books?

Yeah, right over here
next to theosophy.

It's been a long time
since I've been in a library.

My junior year
I had detention in the library.

But I just sat there.

Oh, here's a good book-
Lucretia Mott, Her Story.

She was one of
the early suffragettes.

Hmm. Did she do her suffering
in the '50s?

No, honey.
It was before that.

No, I-I really need something
about the '50s.

Oh. '50s. Hmm.

Oh, how about this?

john Foster Dulles,
The Soviet Threat to Western Europe-

Strategy and Tactics of Containment.

That sounds good.
Uh, there're a couple pages missing
in the second chapter.

I had a little leak in the roof last spring,
and, uh, there was some water damage.
Oh, well, that's okay.

Here is The U.S. Department of Agriculture
Grain Report for 1957.

Abstract Expressionism.

Here's Baseball's Greatest-
The Story of Mickey Mantle.

- What?
- Your hair.

- What about my hair?
- How'd you get it that color?

I didn't. It-It's natural.
You are so lucky.

I'm just old, Shelly.

Yeah. That's what I mean.

All right.
I get five feet one inch.

Maurice, hi.

All right. The deal's off. Get.

Maurice.
What're you talking about?

We didn't sign anything.
I've changed my mind.
Now, get off my property.

Why? What happened?
I don't owe you
any explanation.

- I think you do.
- Yeah?

- Yeah!
- All right.

I'll lay my cards on the table.
I've got a vision for Cicely.

That vision does not include Fire Island.
It does not include San Francisco.

It also does not include hairdressers,
interior designers, florists or dog groomers.

You two get my drift?
Spare us the theatrics, Maurice.

- Look, I'm serious here. I'm not joking.
- Hey, I'm not above using...

the "no fairies allowed''
routine myself, you know.

- How much do you want?
- That's not it!

We agreed on 46,500.

- How 'bout 48?
- I'm talking morality here, not money!

Fifty.
You fellas aren't listening
to me, are you?

What do you think, Erick?
Oh, I don't know.

- All right. If you think so.
- What?

We'll go the asking price- 55.

- Fifty-five?
- And not a penny more, Maurice.

- Fifty-five?
- That's carved in stone. I mean it.

Here's a deposit.

We want your answer
before noon tomorrow,
or we're out of here.

Fifty-five?

? Is that all there is?

?If that's all there is my friends?

? Then let's keep dancing?

?Let's break out the booze?

?And have a ball?

?If that's all?

? There is?

Hi, everybody.

You know, that was one
of Rick's favorite songs.

- Yeah. Uh, Ed, any word yet?
- I'll check.

Uh, sorry about the delay,
but Rick's coffin needed
a little customizing.

But I guess I don't really mind
starting without him,

because a funeral is really more
for the survivors than anybody else.

And, uh, in this case that's Maggie,

who's been a survivor more
times than she'd like to count.

I know you all remember
Rick's predecessor, Dave.

He fell asleep on a glacier
and froze to death.

But before Dave, there was Glen.
And Glen, in his Volvo, took a wrong turn...

and ended up on a missile test range.

And then there was Bruce,
victim of a terrible fishing accident.

And then there was Harry.
Remember Harry?

He died when he was out,
uh, at the, uh-

Umm- How was it?

- Picnic.
- I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you.

- At a picnic.
- Picnic. Right. Potato salad.

Folks, a lot of people would look
at this string of five deaths and say,

"This is weird.
Something really strange is going on here.''

But I just want to say,
Maggie, on behalf of all of us,
that we don't think it's your fault,

and we don't believe in any curse.

Right, everybody?

Hey, come on. You can do better than that.
Right, everybody?

He's here.

Watch yourself.
Watch yourself.

Watch out. Easy.

Hold it.

Holy cow.

Well, uh, here's Rick.

Hey, cut it out!

A man has died!

Chris!

The man is dead!

Uh!

Shelly?

- Shelly!
- Hello, dear.

Well, you-
Would you like an onion
or an olive in your martini?

Olive, I guess. You look different.

I borrowed a few things
from Ruth-Anne.

So, what's your opinion about
Ethel and Julius Rosenberg?

Who?
The atom bomb spies.

Oh, dinner's ready.

Hot dog and cheese casserole.

Shelly, it's midnight.

So?

Well, I thought maybe
you might like to cuddle a little.
I mean, you didn't feel like it last night.

There is a lot more to life
than nooky, Holling.

Would you like some ketchup?
Uh, no, thanks.

You know, I think Grace Kelly was
a lot cuter than Audrey Hepburn.

It's too bad she stopped
making movies.

But you can understand it.
I mean, she got to marry
a real-life prince.

That's a lot better
than being a movie star.

Remember her wedding dress?

Wow. That must
have cost some bucks.

But I guess, if you own your own
country you can afford it.

You're not saying much.

- Um-
- Anyway, that Salk vaccine was really bitchin'.

I don't think kids today
really appreciate it.

They're too young. They don't know
what it was like before. I went to school
with a girl who had a clubfoot.

But that was a drop in the bucket
compared to polio.

And you know,

Dulles was right.

We really shafted
Eastern Europe at Yalta.

I mean, you can't blame Hungary
for getting all wigged out.

I'd get pissed off, too, if some bozo
like Khrushchev tried to tell me
what to do. Wouldn't you?

I wouldn't let him
go see Disneyland either.

Holling?

- Holling!
- Uh-huh?

Don't you have an opinion
about anything?

I go to all this trouble.

I get dressed up, I cook dinner,
I try to have a nice conversation,
and what do you do?

You- You just sit there like a lump!

Maggie, let me give you
some perspective on this.

I had an uncle who was considered
a jinx by everybody...

until he won a raffle at the Oktoberfest.

It was, uh, a set of encyclopedias.

And after that,
everybody considered him their best friend.

Yeah.

Maggie! Oh, there you are.
I've been looking all over for you.

I- Maggie, I feel so bad about Rick.

Thanks.
You know what? I was hoping you'd
come have dinner with me and Bill tonight.

Oh, I don't know, Val.
I'm not feeling very sociable.
You have to eat, Maggie.

You know what?
I'll have Bill whip up his famous
molasses marinade for the salmon.

- Oh, please. It would mean a lot to me.
What do you say?
- Well, um-

You know, it would be good
for you and Bill to- oh, I don't know-

get to know each other,
spend a little time together.

- Me and Bill?
- I'll make an excuse. Who knows?
One thing might lead to another.

Are you suggesting
that Bill and I have an affair?

Well, the truth is, Maggie, I'll tell-
I can't stand to look at him.

- You want me to kill him?
- Just date him. Yeah.
Let nature take its course.

Shelly, please.
Shel, I-I said I was sorry.

Tuna melt, mooseburger,
spaghetti and meatballs.

Shelly!
Would you tell Mr. Vincoeur
that I do not wish to speak to him?

- Uh-
- I heard.

- Tell him he had his chance to talk last night!
- She says-

Tell him I may not be as old as some
of his other girlfriends, but I can carry
on a conversation just like anybody else!

Shelly, it isn't like that.
Shelly, you have got to listen to me.

Li- If this is about Anita,
you have got no reason to be upset.

Shelly, you can chop
as long as you want to,
but you're gonna hear me out!

Now, I don't care if you're not as old
as she is. I don't care if we got no past,
if we got no history.

I don't care if we got
practically nothing in common!

It's just not important to me!

I- I don't want somebody
just to talk to.

Good Lord, Shelly.
Two people can only talk so much.

Then what? There's gotta
be more- somethin' to do
after you're done talkin'.

You understand?

I love you, Shelly.

So what if you are 40 years
younger than me?

I love your youth.

You keep me stirred up 24 hours a day.
Half the time I don't know
whether I'm comin' or goin'.

I- I look at you, I swear,

I don't care about your mind.

I want you for your body.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, Holling.

I'm gonna go to lunch.
You wanna go?
What time is it?

'Bout 12:00.
Damn.

What's the matter?
This is a $5,000 deposit on a house...

that's not worth $40,000,
much less the $55,000
these people are offering me.

What's the problem?

Well, at 46,500,
I had a moral compass, Chris.

But at 55, I'm lost.

I- Half of me says,
"Take the money, you fool.''

The other half says,
"Don't sell to these two guys.''

You're still hung up
on the gay thing, huh?

I don't care what consenting perverts
do in their own home.

I just don't want 'em doin' it
in my backyard, that's all.

If I let these two in,
they've got a beachhead, a toehold.

Before you know it,
old Cicely'll be awash in nancy boys.

Well, Maurice, if that's how you feel,
you probably better just give
the money back.

But they're overpaying!
I'll never find buyers like that again.

Yeah.

Maybe there's a way for you
to take the money and feel good too.
Yeah?

Yeah. Think about it:
You and gay men, you share a lot
of the same common values, right?

Now, you just hold on a minute there.
If you're talking about
gourmet cooking and antiques-

No, no, no. I'm talking about your
military tradition- discipline, honor, loyalty-
that kind of thing.

Well, what in the hell
are you talking about?

All right. Take the Janissaries.
Yeah?

The elite troops
of the Ottoman Empire.

For a couple hundred years,
they were the most gung ho,
bloodthirsty army in the worid.

Uh-huh.
They murdered millions of people.

They leveled countless cities.
They tortured, they pillaged,
you name it.

And-And you're saying
these guys were-

It's a well-known fact.
They preferred the company of men.
Huh.

?Mambo?

?He's neglectin' our romance?

?For the Mambo?
Maggie, you really ought
to eat something.

?He just loves that crazy dance
called the Mambo?

?Mambo baby?

?Mambo baby
Oh, Mambo baby?

You know, I was thinking, if you carved up the
master suites, you'd have another full bedroom.

Hey, let's freshen these up. Shelly!
Uh-huh.

Another round for my colleagues here.

Hi.

Boy, you know, I hate it when you smoke.
I'm gonna show you a picture
of a smoker's lung sometime.

If that doesn't make you stop-
Why are you here, Fleischman?

To tell me more jokes?
Maggie, I-I'm sorry about Rick.
I am.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't
think up a better way to tell you.

Now that you said what you needed to say,
you better get out of here before you get hit
in the head with a safe or a piano,

or you get struck
with a bolt of lightning.

Are you buying into that nonsense?
You believe it?

Hey.

As a doctor, as a man of science,
I can tell you, there is no such thing as curses.

Everything just happens
as a question of probability,

the statistical likelihood
of a specific event.

Fleischman-
For instance,
if a man falls to sleep on a glacier...

it is highly probable
he will freeze to death.

Likewise, if a man sits
on a mountainside, there's...

some probability- uh, now, albeit slight-
that he will get hit by a satellite.

Your having a relationship
with those men is inconsequential.
It simply does not enter into the equation.

- Are you done, Mr. Wizard?
- No.

To tell you the truth- Move over.

I- I don't like seeing you like this.
It bothers me.

Now, don't get any ideas, but I have more
than just a professional interest
in your well-being.

I'm not afraid of you, O'Connell.
You hear that?

Everyone, I am not afraid
of Maggie O'Connell!

No, I am not.
I do not believe in voodoo!

- Fleischman, sit down.
- Come on. Let's dance.

I don't wanna dance.
This is a great song.

- I don't care.
- If you don't dance with me, O'Connell,
you know what you're doing?

You're turning your back on reason-
on mankind's struggle...

to pull itself out of the mire
of ignorance and superstition.

You are saying "yes'' to witch hunters
and inquisitors, you are slamming
the door on enlightenment,

and you-you are-
you are inviting back the Dark Ages.

Now, I am not doing this for you, O'Connell.
I am doing this... for civilization.

?And life is like a song?

What do you say?

Pretty please?
? Oh, yeah, yeah?

?At last?

? The skies above are blue?

?My heart was wrapped up in clover?

? The night I looked at you?

?I found a dream?

Shelly.
? That I could speak to?

?A dream that I?

? Can call my own?

?I found a thrill?

? To press my cheek to?

?A thrill that I have?

?Never known?

? Oh, yeah?
Not bad, Fleischman. I'm surprised.

'Cause when you walk,
you're a little clumsy-
you know, your right foot toes-in.

Yeah, well, I had to wear
special shoes when I was a kid.
People make fun of you?

Nah. I had poison blades in the toes
just like Rosa Kleb. Nobody messed with me.
?And here we are?

?In heaven?

?For you are mine?

?At last?