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1
00:00:01,256 --> 00:00:02,883
ELIOT: Previously
on The Magicians...
2
00:00:04,384 --> 00:00:06,344
You didn't
just save their lives.
3
00:00:07,262 --> 00:00:11,641
You changed their lives
as much as they changed yours.
4
00:00:12,517 --> 00:00:13,643
You didn't want
to leave all that.
5
00:00:15,312 --> 00:00:16,897
(WHOOSHING)
6
00:00:19,816 --> 00:00:23,528
Pardon me, sir. Fillory is still
ruled by Acting High King Fen, right?
7
00:00:23,612 --> 00:00:25,530
The Dark King reigns.
Glory to his rule.
8
00:00:25,614 --> 00:00:27,574
High King Fen
and Josh the Fresh Prince
9
00:00:27,657 --> 00:00:29,284
were overthrown
300 years ago.
10
00:00:29,701 --> 00:00:31,286
We need you to
go find someone,
11
00:00:31,494 --> 00:00:33,997
and do your very best to
convince them to come and help us.
12
00:00:35,207 --> 00:00:36,208
Alice Quinn.
13
00:00:36,499 --> 00:00:39,127
Get a blood worm and cast,
you boil alive.
14
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:42,756
Reed's Mark would prevent them
from triggering the parasite.
15
00:00:42,839 --> 00:00:46,051
EVERETT: Then once this
Serpent group have been dealt with,
16
00:00:46,134 --> 00:00:47,802
the mark is
removed free of charge.
17
00:00:48,094 --> 00:00:50,555
The one that I'm the most
worried about is Julia.
18
00:00:50,639 --> 00:00:53,433
Thank you for deciding that
I'll never get to do magic again.
19
00:00:53,892 --> 00:00:54,893
PENNY: She's been
in a weird place.
20
00:00:55,352 --> 00:00:56,353
And magic...
21
00:00:56,853 --> 00:00:58,355
Comes from pain.
22
00:01:00,023 --> 00:01:01,149
(GASPS)
23
00:01:01,233 --> 00:01:03,610
Did you...
Did you just see that?
24
00:01:03,985 --> 00:01:04,986
Yeah.
25
00:01:05,153 --> 00:01:07,364
So, what are you
going to do with it?
26
00:01:20,752 --> 00:01:22,462
(SIGHS) Okay.
27
00:01:22,545 --> 00:01:24,589
(SOFT INDIE ROCK
MUSIC PLAYING)
28
00:01:32,847 --> 00:01:36,893
(SONG PLAYING)
I had a dream, I had a dream
29
00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:38,895
That I was your neighbor
30
00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:42,649
About to give birth
and then...
31
00:01:42,732 --> 00:01:44,234
PENNY: Julia, you, uh, ready?
32
00:01:46,111 --> 00:01:47,195
Wow. Wow,
33
00:01:47,279 --> 00:01:49,030
you look...
Overdressed?
34
00:01:49,114 --> 00:01:50,115
...great.
35
00:01:53,702 --> 00:01:55,078
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
36
00:01:55,161 --> 00:01:57,205
I thought you said
this was a date.
37
00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,541
I said I was taking you out,
and to dress appropriately.
38
00:01:59,624 --> 00:02:00,625
That means dress up.
39
00:02:00,709 --> 00:02:02,210
You totally told me
to dress up.
40
00:02:02,335 --> 00:02:04,504
I should have been
more specific. Good.
41
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,007
Glad to hear
you accept the blame.
42
00:02:07,299 --> 00:02:09,134
Only problem is we gotta
go now or we're gonna miss it.
43
00:02:09,217 --> 00:02:10,218
Where's your coat?
44
00:02:10,677 --> 00:02:13,930
But it's 75 degrees out.
Not where we're going.
45
00:02:18,935 --> 00:02:20,145
Okay.
46
00:02:21,313 --> 00:02:22,314
Here.
47
00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:25,442
Do you consent
to be traveled?
48
00:02:26,151 --> 00:02:27,694
I consent to be...
49
00:02:28,111 --> 00:02:30,280
(INSECT CHIRRING)
(WATER STREAMING)
50
00:02:30,363 --> 00:02:32,824
Traveled.
Where are we?
51
00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:35,577
Other side of the planet.
Look.
52
00:02:37,412 --> 00:02:38,955
So, my friend Seth
is an artist,
53
00:02:39,039 --> 00:02:40,749
but there hasn't been
enough magic
54
00:02:40,832 --> 00:02:43,668
for him to work
with meteors until now.
55
00:02:44,169 --> 00:02:45,420
(CHUCKLES)
56
00:02:46,963 --> 00:02:47,964
It's incredible.
57
00:03:06,399 --> 00:03:09,486
See, there are a lot of ways to use
magic to make the world a better place.
58
00:03:12,697 --> 00:03:14,074
Wait. What?
59
00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:19,996
Is that why
you brought me here?
60
00:03:20,747 --> 00:03:22,207
No, that's
not really the...
61
00:03:22,665 --> 00:03:24,959
I mean, you've been working
so hard to try to figure this out.
62
00:03:25,043 --> 00:03:26,252
I told you,
it's my business.
63
00:03:26,795 --> 00:03:30,048
And I'm just trying to help.
You know, to brainstorm.
64
00:03:30,673 --> 00:03:31,758
I need to choose that.
65
00:03:33,301 --> 00:03:35,095
You understand what
that means, right?
66
00:03:35,178 --> 00:03:37,806
(RUMBLING)
(HIGH-PITCHED RINGING)
67
00:03:37,889 --> 00:03:38,890
You feel that?
68
00:03:39,933 --> 00:03:40,934
It's another surge.
69
00:03:41,226 --> 00:03:43,019
(BUZZING)
70
00:03:44,813 --> 00:03:46,147
(SOFT EXPLOSION)
71
00:03:49,109 --> 00:03:50,110
Shit.
72
00:03:50,568 --> 00:03:51,569
Uh, Penny...
73
00:03:53,655 --> 00:03:55,657
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
74
00:04:04,374 --> 00:04:05,875
JULIA: How does
making pretty patterns
75
00:04:05,959 --> 00:04:08,670
in the sky help the world when
this type of a thing can happen?
76
00:04:08,753 --> 00:04:11,131
No one knows when
a magic surge is coming.
77
00:04:11,506 --> 00:04:14,300
So, what? We shouldn't
try and make things nicer?
78
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,593
The surges are getting worse.
79
00:04:15,677 --> 00:04:16,970
I'm just saying,
this is the type of thing
80
00:04:17,053 --> 00:04:18,513
I should be using
my magic to fix.
81
00:04:18,596 --> 00:04:21,891
Julia, I... I just wanted you
to have a break for one night.
82
00:04:21,975 --> 00:04:24,102
Yeah, but this is
why I'm working.
83
00:04:24,686 --> 00:04:26,354
I'm...
(SIGHS)
84
00:04:26,438 --> 00:04:29,149
I only have magic
because I lost Q.
85
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,069
I... I just have to find
something to do with it that...
86
00:04:35,155 --> 00:04:36,656
That's worth that.
87
00:04:36,865 --> 00:04:41,035
Julia, there's nothing that you will
ever be able to do that's worth losing him.
88
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:47,375
(SIGHS)
89
00:04:49,002 --> 00:04:50,336
You know what kills me?
90
00:04:50,753 --> 00:04:52,130
I just keep
thinking, like,
91
00:04:53,214 --> 00:04:55,550
oh, I should talk to Q.
92
00:04:56,759 --> 00:04:58,178
He'd know
what I should do.
93
00:04:59,137 --> 00:05:01,890
And then I think,
"Oh, right."
94
00:05:06,811 --> 00:05:08,771
It's only been a month.
95
00:05:08,855 --> 00:05:10,315
This kind of thing
takes a while.
96
00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:16,946
(GLASS SMASHING)
97
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:19,991
Ugh. God damn it. Shit.
98
00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:22,410
My apologies.
Dean Fogg?
99
00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:25,497
I was waiting for
the right moment to interject.
100
00:05:25,872 --> 00:05:28,208
And, well, that never came.
101
00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:32,212
Are you drunk? No. And
I'm sorry about the scotch.
102
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,797
I was, um, smelling it.
103
00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:35,924
(CHUCKLES)
104
00:05:37,675 --> 00:05:40,470
You're not trying to get me to
go to Brakebills again, are you?
105
00:05:41,179 --> 00:05:42,180
Hardly, dear.
106
00:05:42,555 --> 00:05:46,351
I accepted your refusal,
as any gentleman should.
107
00:05:47,268 --> 00:05:49,103
Truth is, I'm actually
here for Penny.
108
00:05:53,399 --> 00:05:54,692
PENNY: Jesus Christ.
What happened here?
109
00:05:54,776 --> 00:05:56,778
DEAN: Everett drank
a reservoir of magic
110
00:05:56,861 --> 00:05:58,196
and exploded.
111
00:05:58,738 --> 00:05:59,989
It had to go somewhere.
112
00:06:00,740 --> 00:06:02,951
Too much magic means
too many people with potential
113
00:06:03,034 --> 00:06:04,410
are discovering their gift.
114
00:06:04,536 --> 00:06:07,413
Lately, more people have been
able to pass than we can handle.
115
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:09,082
And now look at this place.
116
00:06:09,165 --> 00:06:11,751
Might as well be
a goddamn state school.
117
00:06:12,126 --> 00:06:14,671
Overcrowded.
Discipline problems.
118
00:06:15,380 --> 00:06:18,132
Did you know someone stole
the school's supply of living clay?
119
00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:19,842
No. Of course,
thanks to the surges,
120
00:06:19,926 --> 00:06:21,594
a few of them have
blown themselves up.
121
00:06:22,011 --> 00:06:23,179
Which isn't
very good for morale,
122
00:06:23,263 --> 00:06:26,599
but yes, it helps with
the goddamn over-enrollment.
123
00:06:26,683 --> 00:06:30,019
With the rise in students
has come a simultaneous rise
124
00:06:30,103 --> 00:06:32,313
in some of
the rarer disciplines.
125
00:06:32,397 --> 00:06:33,398
Like yours.
126
00:06:37,402 --> 00:06:40,405
So, who better
to teach them than you?
127
00:06:41,864 --> 00:06:44,284
Whoa, I'm no professor.
128
00:06:44,367 --> 00:06:46,911
Penny, you're the only
Brakebills-educated Traveler
129
00:06:46,995 --> 00:06:48,371
currently alive
on this planet.
130
00:06:48,454 --> 00:06:52,166
Which makes you far more qualified
to teach them than anyone else I have.
131
00:06:52,250 --> 00:06:53,251
Including me.
132
00:06:53,334 --> 00:06:55,336
But what if one of them
gets killed because of me?
133
00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:56,421
Excellent point.
134
00:06:57,255 --> 00:07:01,259
This indemnifies you against
any claims, legal or magical,
135
00:07:01,342 --> 00:07:02,427
that your students might make.
136
00:07:02,510 --> 00:07:04,095
That doesn't actually
solve my problem.
137
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:08,182
Penny, I can assure you
that without your instruction,
138
00:07:08,516 --> 00:07:10,518
one of them
will absolutely get killed.
139
00:07:13,813 --> 00:07:14,814
Fine.
140
00:07:29,287 --> 00:07:30,872
To our pretty corpses.
141
00:07:30,955 --> 00:07:33,166
Goddamn gorgeous corpses.
142
00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:36,044
I'd fuck our corpses.
143
00:07:38,963 --> 00:07:40,632
What are we
doing here, Eliot?
144
00:07:41,466 --> 00:07:45,219
We're despairing in style, as befits
two former High Kings of Fillory.
145
00:07:45,303 --> 00:07:46,929
On that note, it's 3:00,
146
00:07:47,013 --> 00:07:49,223
when I usually ask you if
you'd like to talk about Quentin.
147
00:07:49,307 --> 00:07:51,601
And I usually respond,
"I'm fine."
148
00:07:52,185 --> 00:07:54,687
With the help of some
liberally-applied libations.
149
00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:58,441
I would prefer to focus on our
current hopeless situation.
150
00:07:58,775 --> 00:07:59,859
(INHALES DEEPLY)
151
00:07:59,942 --> 00:08:01,861
You know, I gotta give it
to this Dark King.
152
00:08:02,236 --> 00:08:03,946
All the patrols
and heightened security
153
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:06,491
have made it impossible
to get into his castle.
154
00:08:06,574 --> 00:08:08,951
We tried for a week.
That seems like enough.
155
00:08:09,452 --> 00:08:11,996
Although "Dark King"
is a little generic
156
00:08:12,121 --> 00:08:13,539
as villain names go.
Mmm.
157
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:15,208
Wouldn't you say?
I have notes.
158
00:08:15,291 --> 00:08:18,628
Like, we get it. You're a despot.
You're the fucking Dark King.
159
00:08:20,088 --> 00:08:21,964
Although he is
somewhat effective.
160
00:08:22,048 --> 00:08:24,676
Everyone seems terrified
of him, like the bunnies.
161
00:08:25,843 --> 00:08:28,221
They did seem unusually
scared. They did.
162
00:08:28,304 --> 00:08:31,391
I hope they got our
warning to 23. Mmm.
163
00:08:31,474 --> 00:08:34,352
You know, I know we told him not
to travel here because of time shit,
164
00:08:34,435 --> 00:08:38,147
but maybe we should just take the
Portal Tree back to Earth and regroup.
165
00:08:38,356 --> 00:08:41,526
I think it's not safe to leave
until we figure out the time shit.
166
00:08:41,943 --> 00:08:45,113
What if we go back and bam,
it's 300 years later on Earth?
167
00:08:46,072 --> 00:08:48,908
If we could just figure out
a way into his castle
168
00:08:48,991 --> 00:08:52,120
and find out what happened to Josh
and Fen, we might be in a better position.
169
00:08:52,203 --> 00:08:54,414
Bambi, we're 300 years
in the future.
170
00:08:54,497 --> 00:08:56,165
All signs
point to "not good."
171
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,668
Look, Josh is
a fucking Magician.
172
00:08:59,377 --> 00:09:01,838
Maybe he baked an
immortality cake or something.
173
00:09:02,088 --> 00:09:03,423
Plus, it's Fillory.
174
00:09:04,799 --> 00:09:06,384
Weirdness abounds.
175
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,511
(PEOPLE CHATTERING
AND LAUGHING)
176
00:09:09,262 --> 00:09:10,263
ELIOT: Huh.
177
00:09:10,847 --> 00:09:13,933
I guess these people didn't get
the memo they're living in a dystopia.
178
00:09:15,852 --> 00:09:18,646
A fine unshackling
to you, pilgrims.
179
00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:19,731
Hello.
180
00:09:19,814 --> 00:09:22,692
I see you've gotten a head
start on today's festivities.
181
00:09:24,235 --> 00:09:25,319
Right.
182
00:09:25,653 --> 00:09:28,364
I'm... I'm Pree.
183
00:09:28,573 --> 00:09:33,870
And, uh, you two
must be High King Margo
184
00:09:33,953 --> 00:09:35,955
and High King Eliot.
(CHUCKLES)
185
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,333
Um, what?
Now, guess who I am.
186
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:40,710
Come on.
187
00:09:45,131 --> 00:09:47,091
High King Fen the Toeless.
188
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:50,553
Not bad, right?
They're cosplaying as us.
189
00:09:50,803 --> 00:09:54,140
Hey, so where's this
big party? ELIOT: Yeah.
190
00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:56,517
You two really
have been drinking.
191
00:09:57,185 --> 00:10:00,855
There's only one place to
celebrate the Great Unshackling.
192
00:10:02,231 --> 00:10:04,358
Castle Whitespire.
Castle Whitespire.
193
00:10:04,442 --> 00:10:05,693
ELIOT: Castle Whitespire.
Of course. Where else?
194
00:10:05,777 --> 00:10:08,613
We want to get there before all the
good seats are gone, so come with us.
195
00:10:09,071 --> 00:10:10,615
Come on.
Come on.
196
00:10:10,698 --> 00:10:12,992
It can't be that easy,
can it? I guess so.
197
00:10:22,084 --> 00:10:23,503
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
198
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,175
STEPHANIE:
Good afternoon, Alice.
199
00:10:30,718 --> 00:10:33,304
It is afternoon, you know.
200
00:10:36,098 --> 00:10:40,019
You got another letter
from the Library.
201
00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:50,279
You know, they're just gonna keep
sending them unless you respond.
202
00:10:51,155 --> 00:10:52,240
(GROANS)
203
00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:53,741
I know.
204
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:55,159
I already told them no.
205
00:10:55,993 --> 00:10:57,578
I'm just bad at listening.
206
00:10:59,205 --> 00:11:02,542
Alice, you know, I have no
problem with you living here.
207
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:06,379
And it is your business if you
want to let yourself go.
208
00:11:06,462 --> 00:11:09,090
But right now
I need you to put on,
209
00:11:09,173 --> 00:11:11,884
you know, whatever fits
and help me.
210
00:11:12,718 --> 00:11:13,970
It's an emergency.
211
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,102
You want my help
to cheat?
212
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:23,271
Not cheat. Pick.
213
00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:27,441
It's my ladies' garden club
perennial orchid competition,
214
00:11:28,568 --> 00:11:29,569
and, well, I want to win.
215
00:11:30,027 --> 00:11:31,737
But none of them
are Magicians, right?
216
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,281
Yeah, but that
doesn't mean
217
00:11:33,364 --> 00:11:34,615
they're not a bunch
of mean old twats.
218
00:11:34,949 --> 00:11:38,327
Mom, this is not an
emergency. Yes, it is.
219
00:11:38,536 --> 00:11:40,454
There's too much magic, Alice.
220
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,206
Everything that I touch
just... (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
221
00:11:42,290 --> 00:11:45,293
It grows like crazy.
I'll get it.
222
00:11:53,509 --> 00:11:55,052
Hey. Uh, can I come in?
223
00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:01,559
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
224
00:12:04,145 --> 00:12:06,981
Uh, welcome to Introductory
Psychic Trans location.
225
00:12:07,064 --> 00:12:09,317
My name is Professor Adiyodi.
226
00:12:10,192 --> 00:12:13,195
I see you have your Umar,
Kaminsky, Aurora.
227
00:12:14,947 --> 00:12:17,325
See, I... I always thought
books would help.
228
00:12:20,202 --> 00:12:23,956
Only problem is books make you think
you can do something that you shouldn't.
229
00:12:24,665 --> 00:12:26,375
Anyone here know
other people's thoughts yet?
230
00:12:28,085 --> 00:12:29,128
Cool.
231
00:12:29,211 --> 00:12:32,298
You're gonna want to get some psychic
wards to block that shit out right now.
232
00:12:32,673 --> 00:12:34,800
The truth?
Being a Traveler is a curse.
233
00:12:35,092 --> 00:12:37,720
Best case scenario, you end
up a taxi service for your friends.
234
00:12:37,803 --> 00:12:41,349
Worst case, you dream about
volcanoes and then you wake up in one.
235
00:12:44,143 --> 00:12:45,144
What?
236
00:12:45,728 --> 00:12:48,314
Yeah, are you actually gonna
teach us something,
237
00:12:48,397 --> 00:12:50,483
or are you just gonna
keep trying to scare us?
238
00:12:53,819 --> 00:12:56,238
Look, man. I'm trying
to be real with you.
239
00:12:56,489 --> 00:12:57,907
You should be scared.
240
00:12:58,324 --> 00:13:00,284
I mean, have you even
actually Travel led?
241
00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:03,412
Anyone? (CHUCKLES)
Okay, seriously?
242
00:13:04,538 --> 00:13:08,000
Get an anti-Travelling tattoo
and then just go.
243
00:13:08,584 --> 00:13:09,919
Enjoy your life.
244
00:13:10,461 --> 00:13:13,255
'Cause it'll be a hell of a lot longer
than if you stick around with this shit.
245
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:15,883
End of class. Peace.
246
00:13:18,010 --> 00:13:19,345
(STUDENTS EXCLAIM)
247
00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:23,182
ALICE: I miss him, too,
but a seance?
248
00:13:24,183 --> 00:13:27,728
Well, I wanted to talk to him,
and then I realized, what if I could?
249
00:13:28,479 --> 00:13:29,480
You know, what if we could?
250
00:13:30,856 --> 00:13:33,859
Actually talking to the dead
is wild magic.
251
00:13:35,027 --> 00:13:36,404
It's way too dangerous.
252
00:13:36,487 --> 00:13:38,155
Well, then what should I do?
253
00:13:38,864 --> 00:13:41,701
Because I don't know,
and the person I want to ask
254
00:13:41,784 --> 00:13:42,785
is Q.
255
00:13:46,914 --> 00:13:48,374
I miss him every day, too.
256
00:13:50,584 --> 00:13:53,170
I honestly don't know
how to move on without him.
257
00:13:53,838 --> 00:13:55,756
I just...
But we have to, right?
258
00:14:10,813 --> 00:14:12,023
(SNIFFLING)
259
00:14:19,196 --> 00:14:21,198
I found it. It was his.
260
00:14:22,658 --> 00:14:23,743
(CHOKES UP)
261
00:14:24,618 --> 00:14:25,870
(SNIFFLES)
262
00:14:25,953 --> 00:14:27,747
Uh, his notes
are written in the margin.
263
00:14:30,207 --> 00:14:31,250
(SIGHS)
264
00:14:34,545 --> 00:14:35,796
What a nerd. (CHUCKLES)
265
00:14:38,466 --> 00:14:39,675
(ALICE SNIFFLES)
266
00:14:41,969 --> 00:14:45,222
Can't talk to him,
but can read it.
267
00:14:47,725 --> 00:14:49,143
Picture what
he was thinking.
268
00:14:52,354 --> 00:14:53,647
Next best thing.
269
00:14:57,818 --> 00:14:59,111
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
270
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,073
Um...
271
00:15:02,448 --> 00:15:03,532
Is Kady here?
272
00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:07,161
Let me get this straight.
273
00:15:07,495 --> 00:15:11,415
Your friend tried to remove your
Reed's Mark with magic and...
274
00:15:11,665 --> 00:15:14,627
Blew my arm off. Yeah.
I still can't cast, either.
275
00:15:15,002 --> 00:15:17,880
Why not go to a hospital?
I don't have health insurance.
276
00:15:19,965 --> 00:15:20,966
Well, I know a spell.
277
00:15:22,176 --> 00:15:24,261
Might make you vomit,
though. Like, a lot?
278
00:15:24,345 --> 00:15:26,722
One-armed beggars can't be
one-armed choosers.
279
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,392
(SIGHS)
280
00:15:30,893 --> 00:15:31,936
Ugh.
281
00:15:37,191 --> 00:15:38,734
Oh.
KADY: Hold his arm in place.
282
00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:41,654
Wait, wait, wait.
How much throw-up, really?
283
00:15:42,822 --> 00:15:44,031
(CHANTS SPELL)
(BONES CRACK)
284
00:15:46,367 --> 00:15:47,952
(CHUCKLES) Wow.
285
00:15:48,911 --> 00:15:49,912
Thank you. (VOMITS)
286
00:15:55,167 --> 00:15:56,252
PETE: Uh-oh.
287
00:15:57,503 --> 00:15:58,629
You got that look, boss.
288
00:15:58,712 --> 00:16:02,341
That guy. He was so afraid
of not having magic,
289
00:16:02,424 --> 00:16:04,885
he was willing to risk blowing
his own arm off to get it back.
290
00:16:05,427 --> 00:16:06,971
That guy was an idiot.
291
00:16:07,555 --> 00:16:09,181
Or maybe just desperate.
292
00:16:09,598 --> 00:16:12,935
So, what? It's hard to be a
Hedge? It's always been hard.
293
00:16:13,018 --> 00:16:14,603
We could at least
defend ourselves.
294
00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:17,022
I thought with magic back
things would get better.
295
00:16:17,398 --> 00:16:19,942
The Library promised they'd remove
all of Reed's Marks, and they haven't.
296
00:16:20,025 --> 00:16:21,193
Are you surprised?
297
00:16:21,986 --> 00:16:24,155
I hear the Library's
falling apart,
298
00:16:24,238 --> 00:16:29,118
so I doubt that fixing hedge
witches ranks high on their to-do list.
299
00:16:30,161 --> 00:16:31,453
I'm done waiting.
300
00:16:31,954 --> 00:16:33,205
There's tons of magic now.
301
00:16:33,581 --> 00:16:35,875
So let's figure out a way
to remove them ourselves.
302
00:16:37,001 --> 00:16:38,586
If you're serious,
303
00:16:39,420 --> 00:16:41,046
I heard about a guy
who might be able to help.
304
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,840
(MUSIC PLAYING)
305
00:16:42,923 --> 00:16:45,759
An Order of the Library of the
Neither lands medical manual
306
00:16:45,843 --> 00:16:47,553
should have the ritual
you're looking for.
307
00:16:47,636 --> 00:16:49,138
And why should
we trust you?
308
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:52,683
'Cause I don't give a rat's tit
about the Library. Never have.
309
00:16:53,392 --> 00:16:54,393
I don't even read books.
310
00:16:55,769 --> 00:16:57,188
KADY: But you
worked for them?
311
00:16:57,271 --> 00:17:00,941
Not anymore. Contracts aren't
valid once the place collapses.
312
00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:05,863
Besides, I'm chaotic neutral,
so I do a lot of crazy shit.
313
00:17:06,739 --> 00:17:07,990
For cash.
314
00:17:08,490 --> 00:17:11,493
And since we're not here to fuck
spiders, you can pay, can't you?
315
00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:12,620
We can pay.
316
00:17:12,703 --> 00:17:14,288
How soon can you
get us the manual?
317
00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:17,958
I'm not getting it for you. I'll
just tell you where you can find it.
318
00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:22,129
A former Library book depository
no one's hit yet. They'll have one.
319
00:17:22,504 --> 00:17:24,465
And a lot more
goodies besides.
320
00:17:24,548 --> 00:17:27,218
And you're not grabbing these
goodies for yourself. Why?
321
00:17:27,843 --> 00:17:30,763
Mate, if I knew how to rob that
place without getting decapitated,
322
00:17:30,888 --> 00:17:32,681
I'd be robbing it right
now. (CHUCKLES)
323
00:17:35,351 --> 00:17:38,854
MAN: You have all come to hear
the story of the Great Unshackling.
324
00:17:38,938 --> 00:17:42,399
First, there was I,
Ember, god of Fillory.
325
00:17:42,858 --> 00:17:44,735
Then came
my boring brother, Umber.
326
00:17:45,319 --> 00:17:48,280
Together,
we created this world.
327
00:17:49,615 --> 00:17:51,116
(AUDIENCE GASPING)
328
00:17:54,453 --> 00:17:55,913
But I thought
it would be funny
329
00:17:55,996 --> 00:17:58,040
if Fillory were ruled
by Children of Earth.
330
00:17:58,123 --> 00:18:00,167
I am High King Eliot,
331
00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:03,087
and I am drunk all the time.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
332
00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:04,338
That's original.
333
00:18:04,421 --> 00:18:08,133
I am High King Margo,
and I am angry all the time.
334
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:09,218
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
335
00:18:09,301 --> 00:18:13,097
ACTOR: I am King Quentin,
and I am dissatisfied all the time.
336
00:18:13,430 --> 00:18:16,725
I am Queen Alice,
and I died.
337
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:18,894
Sort of.
338
00:18:18,978 --> 00:18:20,562
It's complicated.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
339
00:18:20,646 --> 00:18:22,022
The Children of Earth
came and went,
340
00:18:22,106 --> 00:18:23,732
doing their
Children of Earth things,
341
00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:26,860
like chewing loudly
and texting.
342
00:18:27,361 --> 00:18:28,946
One of them even killed me.
343
00:18:29,154 --> 00:18:33,450
Which was not funny, but
at least it was unexpected.
344
00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:34,827
(AUDIENCE BOOS)
345
00:18:35,744 --> 00:18:37,746
He neglected to mention he was
gonna destroy the world.
346
00:18:37,830 --> 00:18:38,831
True that, girl.
Shh.
347
00:18:38,914 --> 00:18:43,168
No matter who was in charge,
Fillory remained shackled to them.
348
00:18:43,502 --> 00:18:45,879
Which brings us to these two.
349
00:18:47,923 --> 00:18:49,049
AUDIENCE: Ooh.
350
00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:51,802
I am High King
Fen the Toeless,
351
00:18:51,885 --> 00:18:54,179
and I like knives.
(AUDIENCE CHUCKLES)
352
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:59,184
I am Josh the Fresh Prince,
and I love to eat.
353
00:18:59,351 --> 00:19:01,312
Also, I have a mustache.
354
00:19:01,645 --> 00:19:02,646
Oh.
355
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,440
Guess Josh must have gone
through a mustache phase.
356
00:19:05,149 --> 00:19:07,860
So they weren't paying
attention when it happened.
357
00:19:07,943 --> 00:19:10,195
The Takers came into Fillory.
358
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:11,822
The borderlands
became overrun.
359
00:19:11,905 --> 00:19:14,158
The people fled
for their lives.
360
00:19:14,575 --> 00:19:16,118
Boo.
(AUDIENCE BOOS)
361
00:19:16,201 --> 00:19:17,286
Boo.
362
00:19:18,329 --> 00:19:20,164
What's a Taker?
I don't know.
363
00:19:20,247 --> 00:19:22,499
NARRATOR: No one knows where the
Takers came from, but they were everywhere.
364
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:25,919
The people asked for help.
BOTH: But we didn't do anything.
365
00:19:26,003 --> 00:19:27,338
NARRATOR:
The people prayed.
366
00:19:27,421 --> 00:19:28,839
There were no more gods
in Fillory,
367
00:19:28,922 --> 00:19:30,674
yet their prayers
were answered anyway.
368
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:33,886
I will save
the people of Fillory.
369
00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:35,804
(TAKERS YELPING)
370
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,599
NARRATOR: Who was
this mysterious hero?
371
00:19:38,682 --> 00:19:42,144
Oh, just a humble wizard
coming to you out of the darkness.
372
00:19:42,686 --> 00:19:44,855
NARRATOR: Eventually,
the people would decide
373
00:19:44,938 --> 00:19:47,358
to make this dark wizard
their king.
374
00:19:47,649 --> 00:19:48,692
The Dark King.
375
00:19:48,776 --> 00:19:50,194
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
376
00:19:51,111 --> 00:19:53,572
I promise to protect you
as long as I live.
377
00:19:53,655 --> 00:19:55,282
And I shall live forever.
378
00:19:55,824 --> 00:20:00,079
NARRATOR: But before this could
happen, the people handed out just deserts.
379
00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:02,831
AUDIENCE MEMBER:
To the gallows!
380
00:20:02,915 --> 00:20:04,666
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
381
00:20:08,837 --> 00:20:10,839
Did somebody say "desert"?
382
00:20:20,307 --> 00:20:22,851
DARK KING ACTOR: As we
cast off the shackles of our past,
383
00:20:23,102 --> 00:20:26,897
I declare today will be known
hence as the Great Unshackling.
384
00:20:27,106 --> 00:20:31,193
And the people of Fillory
lived happily ever after.
385
00:20:31,276 --> 00:20:32,861
(CHEERING)
386
00:20:42,788 --> 00:20:45,624
Margo, for God's sake,
would you just come back?
387
00:20:45,707 --> 00:20:47,876
They murdered them. They
murdered the shit out of them.
388
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,296
Okay, yeah, like, 300
years ago. All right?
389
00:20:51,922 --> 00:20:55,050
Look, maybe you didn't have
time to prepare yourself for this,
390
00:20:55,384 --> 00:20:57,719
but you have to know
it didn't end well for them.
391
00:20:58,053 --> 00:21:00,347
Yeah, well,
it's not over yet.
392
00:21:00,931 --> 00:21:02,307
We're gonna
Endgame this shit.
393
00:21:03,892 --> 00:21:05,602
When did you have time
to go see Endgame?
394
00:21:05,686 --> 00:21:06,979
Does it matter?
395
00:21:07,062 --> 00:21:09,481
All I'm saying is we're
gonna time-fix this bitch.
396
00:21:09,690 --> 00:21:12,985
In the center of Fillory is a
clockwork heart built by dwarves.
397
00:21:14,528 --> 00:21:17,156
They're the ones who taught
Jane Chatwin how to do time magic.
398
00:21:17,239 --> 00:21:20,409
Jesus Helena Bonham Christ.
Read the books already, El.
399
00:21:20,492 --> 00:21:21,618
Uh... (SIGHS)
400
00:21:21,702 --> 00:21:23,078
We're gonna dial back
the clock
401
00:21:23,162 --> 00:21:25,539
300 years
to before all this bullshit.
402
00:21:27,624 --> 00:21:30,586
Right. So I guess we just
have to somehow find our way
403
00:21:30,669 --> 00:21:32,337
to the center
of the world then?
404
00:21:33,464 --> 00:21:36,842
When I was High King, I
started excavations to reach it.
405
00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:39,553
I wanted to meet
the Clock dwarf,
406
00:21:40,387 --> 00:21:42,764
who takes care
of the clockwork heart.
407
00:21:43,932 --> 00:21:45,601
(SIGHS) Come on.
408
00:22:14,254 --> 00:22:17,591
So, we're actually going to
slide to the center of the world?
409
00:22:17,674 --> 00:22:19,259
Oh, grow a clit, will you?
410
00:22:19,676 --> 00:22:21,178
Bitch, I would if I could.
411
00:22:23,013 --> 00:22:24,598
(MARGO SCREAMING)
412
00:22:47,579 --> 00:22:49,039
PHYLLIS: So what made you
change your mind?
413
00:22:50,374 --> 00:22:51,833
I need to get out
of the house,
414
00:22:51,917 --> 00:22:54,002
and your request seemed
the least annoying.
415
00:22:55,462 --> 00:22:58,048
You promise you won't
ask me to join the Library?
416
00:22:58,131 --> 00:23:02,511
Promise. I just need a phosphoromancer
for, like, an afternoon. (CHUCKLES)
417
00:23:03,303 --> 00:23:04,304
Fine.
418
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:06,265
(MARGO CONTINUES SCREAMING)
419
00:23:07,057 --> 00:23:08,600
(ELIOT YELLING)
420
00:23:12,771 --> 00:23:13,897
(MUFFLED GRUNT)
421
00:23:14,856 --> 00:23:18,360
Motherfucker. I have
a serious case of slide-ass.
422
00:23:19,194 --> 00:23:23,323
Yeah. I think I lost several
pounds to friction burn, as well.
423
00:23:24,199 --> 00:23:25,867
MAN: Welcome, adventurers.
424
00:23:27,703 --> 00:23:29,037
Wait. You're
the Clock Dwarf?
425
00:23:29,121 --> 00:23:31,331
Huh. I thought
you'd be smaller.
426
00:23:31,790 --> 00:23:34,209
'Cause I deal
with clocks?
427
00:23:34,585 --> 00:23:37,504
'Cause on Earth,
"dwarf" means small.
428
00:23:37,879 --> 00:23:40,674
Really? Is Earth really big?
429
00:23:42,509 --> 00:23:45,053
So, tell me. Did you happen
to bring any food with you?
430
00:23:45,470 --> 00:23:46,471
ELIOT: Uh...
431
00:23:46,763 --> 00:23:48,557
Were we supposed
to bring you some food?
432
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:49,641
I mean,
you didn't have to.
433
00:23:49,725 --> 00:23:52,352
I just figured if you came
all that way from the surface,
434
00:23:52,436 --> 00:23:55,230
you might have some
hearty adventuring snacks,
435
00:23:55,314 --> 00:23:58,025
like bread and maybe ham,
436
00:23:58,108 --> 00:24:03,614
and cheese and lettuce and
perhaps some assorted condiments.
437
00:24:04,114 --> 00:24:05,824
Sounds like you want
a ham sandwich.
438
00:24:06,491 --> 00:24:08,493
If you're offering
a ham sandwich...
439
00:24:09,077 --> 00:24:10,078
I'm not.
440
00:24:10,662 --> 00:24:13,999
Ah. I see. It's just...
441
00:24:14,666 --> 00:24:18,003
I don't get out much on account
of the massive disruptions
442
00:24:18,086 --> 00:24:21,214
in the flow of time
that happens when I do.
443
00:24:22,507 --> 00:24:25,886
I get by
on cave mushrooms.
444
00:24:26,887 --> 00:24:28,138
They're fine.
445
00:24:28,889 --> 00:24:32,267
Um, we were hoping you might
be able to help us.
446
00:24:32,559 --> 00:24:34,770
Earth and Fillory
kinda fell out of sync.
447
00:24:35,020 --> 00:24:40,108
On Earth, barely any time has
passed, while here, it's been 300 years.
448
00:24:40,651 --> 00:24:44,488
Uh, big old surge of magic
skipped the gears forward.
449
00:24:44,571 --> 00:24:48,075
I had to crank down on it
before it went too far.
450
00:24:48,158 --> 00:24:50,827
Okay, how about you just
wind it back 300 years then?
451
00:24:50,994 --> 00:24:55,290
Eh, can't. These clock gears
aren't made to go backward.
452
00:24:56,083 --> 00:24:59,378
I could probably jump you
forward 300 years if you want.
453
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,798
Why the shit would we want to
go another 300 years in the future?
454
00:25:02,881 --> 00:25:04,591
Why would you want to go
300 years in the past?
455
00:25:05,008 --> 00:25:07,177
Because all our friends are
dead and the world is fucked.
456
00:25:07,719 --> 00:25:08,887
Oh, wow.
457
00:25:09,930 --> 00:25:11,223
Sorry.
458
00:25:11,598 --> 00:25:14,226
These mushrooms,
they also get me high,
459
00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:17,479
so I don't always pick up
on emotional cues.
460
00:25:18,939 --> 00:25:19,940
Look.
461
00:25:20,982 --> 00:25:22,693
You're a smart
dwarf, right? Yeah.
462
00:25:24,111 --> 00:25:26,196
There's got to be
some way to skip back.
463
00:25:26,279 --> 00:25:30,575
I mean, this whole thing is
already impossible, isn't it?
464
00:25:31,118 --> 00:25:33,036
We're sorry
we didn't bring you snacks.
465
00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:35,414
No, this isn't
even about the snacks.
466
00:25:35,622 --> 00:25:38,583
If I wound the clock backward,
it would just be bad.
467
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,461
How bad?
'Cause it's bad now.
468
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,881
Like apocalypse bad.
It would destroy Fillory.
469
00:25:45,757 --> 00:25:48,427
So, I'm sorry.
I wish I could help you.
470
00:25:50,137 --> 00:25:52,055
You guys want
some cave mushrooms?
471
00:25:56,059 --> 00:25:57,978
ELIOT: Look on
the bright side, Bambi.
472
00:25:58,061 --> 00:26:01,064
We just got to slide up
back to the surface,
473
00:26:01,148 --> 00:26:02,983
which hurt a lot less
than on the way down,
474
00:26:03,066 --> 00:26:06,695
and now we get to hole up in a
lovely villa on the Grand Canal
475
00:26:06,778 --> 00:26:08,613
and sip Bellinis
until we pass out.
476
00:26:08,697 --> 00:26:09,781
We can't leave Fillory.
477
00:26:09,865 --> 00:26:11,742
I don't want to tell you
that things are hopeless,
478
00:26:11,825 --> 00:26:13,368
but they're not
looking very good.
479
00:26:13,827 --> 00:26:15,787
And I hate to see
you feeling like this.
480
00:26:16,455 --> 00:26:17,873
I'm not gonna feel better.
481
00:26:19,458 --> 00:26:21,918
What the hell is wrong with
you? You should feel just as upset.
482
00:26:23,170 --> 00:26:26,631
Uh... I don't know. I guess
it takes a lot to upset me.
483
00:26:26,715 --> 00:26:29,509
I think you're gloriously medicated
and in some textbook denial.
484
00:26:30,302 --> 00:26:31,511
I'm managing.
485
00:26:33,722 --> 00:26:35,640
I'm fine.
Sure. You're fine.
486
00:26:37,058 --> 00:26:40,771
A monster rode you around for
months while he murdered people.
487
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,523
And then one of
your closest friends died.
488
00:26:45,817 --> 00:26:49,529
You know, I don't remember
anything from in there.
489
00:26:49,988 --> 00:26:52,157
As if that changes
a goddamn thing.
490
00:26:52,616 --> 00:26:53,825
(INHALES DEEPLY)
491
00:26:54,701 --> 00:26:57,370
Quentin died, and it hurts.
492
00:26:58,914 --> 00:27:00,540
And I don't really want
to talk about it.
493
00:27:00,624 --> 00:27:02,584
Everything I have to say,
you already know.
494
00:27:02,667 --> 00:27:05,420
So, why?
495
00:27:07,506 --> 00:27:09,132
Well, if it were me,
496
00:27:10,091 --> 00:27:13,136
I'd be driving a fucking semi
down Fury Road.
497
00:27:14,971 --> 00:27:17,140
Yeah, well,
feelings are gauche,
498
00:27:17,224 --> 00:27:19,684
and I'm sparing you mine, and
I thought you would be grateful.
499
00:27:20,060 --> 00:27:22,103
I don't care what you're like
out there, but with me,
500
00:27:23,522 --> 00:27:25,732
I thought you'd
at least try to be real.
501
00:27:27,526 --> 00:27:31,071
Bambi.
Don't "Bambi" me.
502
00:27:31,905 --> 00:27:34,491
If you're gonna be this stupid, I
need some time alone to calm down.
503
00:27:37,536 --> 00:27:38,537
Fine.
504
00:27:51,716 --> 00:27:53,969
MAN: Hey. Banished scum.
505
00:27:54,761 --> 00:27:55,762
(GRUNTS)
506
00:27:59,057 --> 00:28:00,183
ALICE: What happened here?
507
00:28:00,517 --> 00:28:03,395
Been a rough couple of weeks.
Everyone's abandoned us.
508
00:28:03,687 --> 00:28:05,730
We've lost
most of the branches.
509
00:28:06,398 --> 00:28:08,066
Can't even reach our people
in the Underworld.
510
00:28:11,027 --> 00:28:12,237
Where's Zelda?
511
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,781
Oh, God, who knows?
(SCOFFS) She's a mess.
512
00:28:15,323 --> 00:28:16,408
Look, no bullshit.
513
00:28:16,491 --> 00:28:19,995
After you refused to help her
for, like, the fifteenth time,
514
00:28:20,203 --> 00:28:24,499
I think it broke her brain. She said
she can't be trusted to lead and ran off.
515
00:28:25,166 --> 00:28:26,877
Then who's leading
the Library?
516
00:28:27,168 --> 00:28:30,338
Well, not me, that's for sure.
I'm just doing my job.
517
00:28:33,675 --> 00:28:35,510
ALICE: That's a Library
Branch Index, isn't it?
518
00:28:35,594 --> 00:28:37,470
You know about these?
I've heard a couple things.
519
00:28:37,679 --> 00:28:41,600
Okay, well, it shows you the location
of every volume and how to access it.
520
00:28:42,058 --> 00:28:43,977
Mmm. So, what's
the problem then?
521
00:28:45,186 --> 00:28:49,274
PHYLLIS: The phosphoromancer
who did this is dead.
522
00:28:49,357 --> 00:28:50,609
I need you to unlock it.
523
00:28:57,407 --> 00:28:59,868
If you're gonna watch,
I'll need a drink.
524
00:29:02,162 --> 00:29:03,788
Yeah, I could use one myself.
525
00:29:06,583 --> 00:29:07,918
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
526
00:29:08,877 --> 00:29:09,920
PENNY: Ugh.
527
00:29:10,003 --> 00:29:13,548
I think there's a bit of confusion
about the nature of your job.
528
00:29:13,924 --> 00:29:16,551
PENNY: You told me they'd
get killed if I didn't talk to them,
529
00:29:16,635 --> 00:29:19,095
so I told them
how not to get killed.
530
00:29:19,179 --> 00:29:21,222
Well, how very
thoughtful of you.
531
00:29:21,306 --> 00:29:22,474
(POURING DRINK)
Look, man.
532
00:29:22,557 --> 00:29:25,810
I was doing you a solid,
but I don't think I'm your guy.
533
00:29:26,937 --> 00:29:30,732
This is the time, as a dean, where
I usually dig deep to find a funny
534
00:29:30,815 --> 00:29:32,901
or sad anecdote
to win you back.
535
00:29:34,319 --> 00:29:37,739
But since I've stopped drinking,
those no longer come easy.
536
00:29:38,323 --> 00:29:39,783
You stopped drinking?
Yes.
537
00:29:40,450 --> 00:29:42,535
I've lost the taste for it,
I'm afraid.
538
00:29:43,161 --> 00:29:44,663
Maybe it's what happened
to Quentin.
539
00:29:45,121 --> 00:29:46,957
Maybe it's
just my liver.
540
00:29:47,624 --> 00:29:49,668
Either way,
I'm a bit raw at the moment,
541
00:29:49,751 --> 00:29:51,419
so you will forgive
my bluntness.
542
00:29:52,170 --> 00:29:53,713
You signed a contract.
543
00:29:54,923 --> 00:29:56,299
I thought that was,
like, to protect me.
544
00:29:56,383 --> 00:29:57,425
I lied.
545
00:29:58,843 --> 00:30:01,638
It was an employment contract,
which forbids you from quitting.
546
00:30:02,430 --> 00:30:04,557
I've never met a Penny
who read the fine print.
547
00:30:05,308 --> 00:30:06,476
So what if I break it?
548
00:30:07,394 --> 00:30:09,813
Well, I will sue you
into oblivion.
549
00:30:10,647 --> 00:30:13,942
Could you fight it? Yes.
Would you win? No.
550
00:30:14,901 --> 00:30:16,027
Could you run?
551
00:30:16,569 --> 00:30:19,406
Well, yes, of course.
(SCOFFS) You're a Traveler.
552
00:30:19,823 --> 00:30:21,491
But I doubt a world exists
553
00:30:21,574 --> 00:30:23,368
where you could hide
from our lawyers.
554
00:30:24,577 --> 00:30:27,622
I will see you at school,
Professor.
555
00:30:30,458 --> 00:30:33,628
PHYLLIS: Not that there's
anything wrong with masturbation.
556
00:30:33,712 --> 00:30:36,631
There's a tradition
of librarians masturbating.
557
00:30:36,715 --> 00:30:41,803
It goes back centuries. But just the
way he did it was creepy. (LAUGHS)
558
00:30:44,848 --> 00:30:46,891
Mmm. Whew.
559
00:30:46,975 --> 00:30:49,019
God damn. I need to pee.
560
00:31:27,974 --> 00:31:29,184
(SIGHS)
561
00:31:41,529 --> 00:31:43,323
(OBJECTS RATTLING
AND CLINKING)
562
00:31:50,997 --> 00:31:51,998
Holy shit.
563
00:31:52,624 --> 00:31:53,625
(GASPS)
564
00:31:55,126 --> 00:31:58,046
Apologies, my good lady, for
the intrusion into your Maison.
565
00:31:58,129 --> 00:32:00,673
And... And for startling you.
566
00:32:00,757 --> 00:32:05,637
And for raiding your magical
winter box of comestibles.
567
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,306
It has been a long
and arduous journey.
568
00:32:08,848 --> 00:32:09,849
Find...
569
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:11,601
Who are you?
570
00:32:11,684 --> 00:32:16,147
I am Sir Hargreave Mcgrubney Cubbins
Archibald Brian Effingham the Third.
571
00:32:16,439 --> 00:32:18,858
But you can call me
Sir Effingham.
572
00:32:22,946 --> 00:32:24,197
Are you from Fillory?
573
00:32:24,614 --> 00:32:27,492
Why, yes, I am. Well deduced.
574
00:32:28,159 --> 00:32:30,078
You are a credit to your sex.
575
00:32:30,620 --> 00:32:34,124
Gonna move past that.
(CLEARS THROAT) Um...
576
00:32:34,207 --> 00:32:35,333
What brings you here to Earth?
577
00:32:35,792 --> 00:32:39,003
I am here on a mission
of dreadful import.
578
00:32:39,254 --> 00:32:41,089
It is not
an exaggeration to say
579
00:32:41,172 --> 00:32:44,884
that the very fate of both of
our worlds lies in the balance.
580
00:32:46,427 --> 00:32:47,637
You're here
to bestow a quest.
581
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,973
I am here to bestow a quest.
582
00:32:52,016 --> 00:32:54,769
You know,
this timing is perfect.
583
00:32:54,853 --> 00:32:57,605
Because, honestly, I've been
feeling a little lost lately.
584
00:32:57,689 --> 00:33:01,359
And I've been looking for
something to do with my magic
585
00:33:01,442 --> 00:33:04,445
to make a difference. You
know, searching for a sign.
586
00:33:05,113 --> 00:33:07,866
And here you are.
Here I am.
587
00:33:08,074 --> 00:33:10,285
So, tell me.
How can I help you?
588
00:33:10,618 --> 00:33:13,746
You can help me
find Quentin Cold water.
589
00:33:16,958 --> 00:33:17,959
Oh...
590
00:33:21,337 --> 00:33:24,549
Yeah. Um...
No, that's not...
591
00:33:26,676 --> 00:33:29,012
Perhaps you have been
beset by hysteria.
592
00:33:29,637 --> 00:33:31,139
Is your corset too tight?
593
00:33:31,222 --> 00:33:34,809
It can cause the womb to
wander. I've seen it happen.
594
00:33:35,268 --> 00:33:40,231
(HALTINGLY) Um, no, you can't
talk to Quentin because he's dead.
595
00:33:40,315 --> 00:33:41,357
He died.
596
00:33:42,483 --> 00:33:47,405
Oh, dear. Oh, dear, oh dear,
oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
597
00:33:49,115 --> 00:33:51,034
I do believe
I'm having the hog sweats.
598
00:33:51,117 --> 00:33:52,160
(SOBS)
599
00:33:52,243 --> 00:33:53,745
Are you...
Are you all right?
600
00:33:53,828 --> 00:33:55,955
No, my dear lady. I
do not believe that I am.
601
00:33:56,289 --> 00:33:59,334
You see, this matter
that brings me here,
602
00:33:59,417 --> 00:34:02,795
it is somewhat apocalyptic
in nature.
603
00:34:02,879 --> 00:34:05,173
(SIGHING HEAVILY)
604
00:34:05,256 --> 00:34:07,175
Oh, I find that I do not
feel at all well.
605
00:34:07,258 --> 00:34:10,803
Perhaps you could pour me
a draft of medicinal cocaine?
606
00:34:10,887 --> 00:34:11,971
Oh.
607
00:34:12,055 --> 00:34:13,681
Yeah, that's not a thing
we use anymore.
608
00:34:13,765 --> 00:34:16,643
Have you not modern medicine
in this godforsaken world?
609
00:34:16,809 --> 00:34:18,853
Oh, this is truly
the end times.
610
00:34:20,772 --> 00:34:22,482
Well, maybe I could help you
to save the world.
611
00:34:22,565 --> 00:34:24,567
(LAUGHING AND SNORTING)
612
00:34:24,651 --> 00:34:25,818
Yes. Very good.
613
00:34:27,570 --> 00:34:28,571
Oh, you're serious?
614
00:34:29,155 --> 00:34:34,035
No, no, no. You see, I'm afraid
that that would be far too difficult
615
00:34:34,118 --> 00:34:36,663
for someone like you
to handle.
616
00:34:36,746 --> 00:34:40,667
You know, I have saved the world
before. I was an actual goddess.
617
00:34:40,750 --> 00:34:43,670
And you are still quite
fetching, albeit unmarried.
618
00:34:44,087 --> 00:34:47,423
Look, the nature of the quest
that I must deliver,
619
00:34:47,507 --> 00:34:50,677
well, it requires
a certain kind of hero.
620
00:34:51,469 --> 00:34:53,263
And what kind of hero
would that be?
621
00:34:54,264 --> 00:34:57,976
Well, that is to say, (STAMMERING)
to use the common tongue,
622
00:34:58,059 --> 00:35:02,146
a hero with a pork loin.
623
00:35:05,733 --> 00:35:08,945
So, the apocalypse
is happening, or whatever,
624
00:35:09,028 --> 00:35:12,240
and this little piggy comes
all this way,
625
00:35:12,532 --> 00:35:16,077
but you won't accept my help
because I'm a woman?
626
00:35:16,744 --> 00:35:21,207
Quite right. Well, I have
a long journey ahead of me.
627
00:35:21,291 --> 00:35:24,335
This has been
a dreadful setback,
628
00:35:24,419 --> 00:35:28,089
but I am sure
that a hero will rise,
629
00:35:28,172 --> 00:35:30,216
and he will save us.
630
00:35:36,014 --> 00:35:39,434
Madam, I have heard
from many trusted sources
631
00:35:39,517 --> 00:35:42,478
that hysteria such as yours
can be cured,
632
00:35:42,729 --> 00:35:46,482
temporarily,
through pelvic massage.
633
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:50,445
I must go.
634
00:35:51,237 --> 00:35:52,238
(SNORTS)
635
00:35:52,322 --> 00:35:54,032
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
636
00:35:56,534 --> 00:35:57,869
Look familiar?
637
00:35:59,078 --> 00:36:03,499
This building, our target.
It's missing.
638
00:36:03,916 --> 00:36:06,336
Maybe it's some kind of
optical displacement spell?
639
00:36:06,419 --> 00:36:08,504
Like the building's hidden?
640
00:36:08,921 --> 00:36:09,922
Come on.
641
00:36:13,134 --> 00:36:16,054
Hey, man, can you tell me, did
there used to be a building here?
642
00:36:16,137 --> 00:36:17,722
Don't think so.
Are you sure?
643
00:36:17,805 --> 00:36:20,058
I mean, I've only worked in
this park for, like, eight years.
644
00:36:20,141 --> 00:36:22,143
But, yeah, maybe
I'm wrong about it.
645
00:36:26,105 --> 00:36:28,358
Well, guy says there was
never a building here.
646
00:36:28,733 --> 00:36:30,610
So, looks like
Gavin ripped us off.
647
00:36:30,902 --> 00:36:33,571
He didn't rip us off.
There was a building.
648
00:36:34,113 --> 00:36:36,157
I can still see the residue
from the wards.
649
00:36:36,616 --> 00:36:37,742
So what happened to it?
650
00:36:38,201 --> 00:36:42,163
I think someone stole it, then
mind-wiped everyone in the area.
651
00:36:42,246 --> 00:36:43,456
(SCOFFS)
652
00:36:43,539 --> 00:36:46,918
Do you know what kind of skills
it would take to steal a building
653
00:36:47,001 --> 00:36:50,046
with Level Five wards?
That's like, Gandalf-level skills.
654
00:36:50,129 --> 00:36:53,007
That's like... Wait.
Gandalf was a wizard, right?
655
00:36:53,091 --> 00:36:56,594
Pete, just... Shit.
656
00:36:58,137 --> 00:37:00,098
I think we might have
some competition.
657
00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,392
So, the apocalypse
is coming,
658
00:37:02,475 --> 00:37:05,269
but don't worry your pretty little
head about it? What are we gonna do?
659
00:37:05,812 --> 00:37:07,939
It's not like he's the first guy
to tell me I'm not good enough.
660
00:37:08,398 --> 00:37:11,901
Right. And how screwed is the
universe that it doesn't even realize
661
00:37:11,984 --> 00:37:13,694
Quentin's dead
and plan around it?
662
00:37:13,778 --> 00:37:17,740
Truth? I don't think the universe
is really looking out for anyone.
663
00:37:18,533 --> 00:37:20,284
Try saying that
to your students.
664
00:37:20,701 --> 00:37:23,371
I think I've already told them
all the depressing things.
665
00:37:24,831 --> 00:37:25,832
I can't believe
I have to go back.
666
00:37:25,915 --> 00:37:27,500
What the fuck am I
gonna say to them?
667
00:37:28,042 --> 00:37:32,130
Well, what would you say if you
could say anything you wanted?
668
00:37:32,380 --> 00:37:33,714
'Cause you can.
669
00:37:34,090 --> 00:37:35,800
What would you say to the pig?
670
00:37:39,303 --> 00:37:41,264
(SIGHS) I'd say,
671
00:37:42,765 --> 00:37:43,850
"Hey, Porky.
672
00:37:45,017 --> 00:37:46,894
"If I wait for you to tell me
to be the hero,
673
00:37:46,978 --> 00:37:48,855
"then I'm just buying
into your bullshit."
674
00:37:49,730 --> 00:37:52,942
In real life you don't get
chosen. You choose your quest.
675
00:37:54,735 --> 00:37:57,488
And I'm choosing mine.
Yeah.
676
00:37:57,989 --> 00:38:00,324
You know, I got magic back
because Quentin died,
677
00:38:00,825 --> 00:38:02,410
and I think I know what
I'm gonna do with it.
678
00:38:02,827 --> 00:38:06,998
I'm gonna figure out what's causing
the apocalypse, and I'm gonna stop it.
679
00:38:14,338 --> 00:38:17,175
When I got to Brakebills, I
thought I'd die before I turned 30.
680
00:38:18,009 --> 00:38:20,511
That's all anyone
ever told me. Travelers die.
681
00:38:21,262 --> 00:38:24,348
And bad shit has happened
to me, but not to you.
682
00:38:25,224 --> 00:38:26,392
Not yet, anyway.
683
00:38:27,351 --> 00:38:29,270
You still get a choice
about your path.
684
00:38:30,938 --> 00:38:32,982
And since I already talked
about the bad side,
685
00:38:33,566 --> 00:38:35,443
I should probably show you
the good side, too.
686
00:38:36,903 --> 00:38:39,363
Anyone who wants
to see that, come here.
687
00:38:45,328 --> 00:38:46,412
(ALL GASP)
688
00:38:48,039 --> 00:38:50,791
Cool. You brought us
to rocks.
689
00:38:59,300 --> 00:39:00,301
PENNY: Look up.
690
00:39:03,721 --> 00:39:04,722
STUDENTS: Whoa.
691
00:39:04,805 --> 00:39:06,599
PENNY: A few years ago, I was
running from some bad shit,
692
00:39:06,682 --> 00:39:07,850
and I found this place.
693
00:39:08,226 --> 00:39:09,644
It's not on any map.
694
00:39:11,354 --> 00:39:13,356
You guys can breathe.
(STUDENTS SIGH AND CHUCKLE)
695
00:39:13,439 --> 00:39:14,941
There's no one here.
Just us.
696
00:39:15,024 --> 00:39:16,025
Oh, my God.
697
00:39:16,567 --> 00:39:19,278
When you master your powers,
you can wake up anywhere,
698
00:39:19,362 --> 00:39:21,239
in any world.
699
00:39:22,782 --> 00:39:26,452
If you want to still do this, I'll
help you. Just think about it.
700
00:39:28,037 --> 00:39:32,166
For now, I'm gonna shut up
and let you enjoy this place.
701
00:39:32,291 --> 00:39:33,918
(STUDENTS CHUCKLING)
(EXCLAIMS)
702
00:39:39,298 --> 00:39:40,800
Professor Adiyodi?
703
00:39:41,342 --> 00:39:42,885
Merritt, right?
Yeah.
704
00:39:43,803 --> 00:39:44,845
I had a question.
705
00:39:45,972 --> 00:39:48,307
You said you heard voices
from other worlds.
706
00:39:48,599 --> 00:39:49,809
You hearing something?
707
00:39:49,892 --> 00:39:54,397
(SIGHS) It's not a voice.
It's more like, um, a signal.
708
00:39:55,189 --> 00:39:57,942
Okay. Um...
Uh, sit down.
709
00:39:58,025 --> 00:39:59,151
Yeah.
710
00:39:59,235 --> 00:40:01,362
I'm gonna take down my wards
so you can show me.
711
00:40:01,487 --> 00:40:03,864
You just, uh, close
your eyes, okay? Okay.
712
00:40:03,948 --> 00:40:04,949
All right.
713
00:40:07,451 --> 00:40:08,828
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
714
00:40:12,540 --> 00:40:14,375
(HIGH-PITCHED RINGING)
715
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,795
(RINGING GETS LOUDER)
(SNIFFING)
716
00:40:17,878 --> 00:40:18,879
(GRUNTS)
717
00:40:18,963 --> 00:40:20,381
(BREATHING SHARPLY)
718
00:40:21,549 --> 00:40:23,217
(HIGH-PITCHED RINGING
CONTINUES)
719
00:40:23,301 --> 00:40:24,719
(GRUNTING QUIETLY)
720
00:40:30,683 --> 00:40:32,310
(GASPS)
(RINGING STOPS)
721
00:40:32,393 --> 00:40:33,394
Professor?
722
00:40:37,356 --> 00:40:39,900
Oh. Professor,
what happened?
723
00:40:39,984 --> 00:40:41,777
I don't...
I couldn't control myself.
724
00:40:42,945 --> 00:40:44,572
Did the signal
make you do that?
725
00:40:50,578 --> 00:40:51,662
(WINCING)
726
00:40:55,458 --> 00:40:56,834
(MUFFLED WATER TRICKLING)
727
00:41:01,339 --> 00:41:04,342
Hello? Anybody there?
728
00:41:15,269 --> 00:41:18,773
Just great. What are you
gonna do now, Margo?
729
00:41:20,733 --> 00:41:22,068
(THUNDER CRASHING)
730
00:41:23,778 --> 00:41:27,615
It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
731
00:41:28,824 --> 00:41:30,868
It's... Who am I kidding?
732
00:41:31,702 --> 00:41:33,954
They're gonna chop
my goddamn head off.
733
00:41:34,038 --> 00:41:35,581
(SOBBING QUIETLY)
734
00:41:35,665 --> 00:41:39,877
Josh? Josh. Josh.
735
00:41:42,505 --> 00:41:45,549
Of course I get trapped in here
with the ghost loop version of him.
736
00:41:46,801 --> 00:41:51,138
Margo, wherever you are,
I hope you're okay.
737
00:41:52,223 --> 00:41:53,432
I wish you were here.
738
00:41:55,017 --> 00:41:56,727
I wish I wasn't
gonna die alone.
739
00:42:00,272 --> 00:42:01,607
(CRYING)
740
00:42:05,444 --> 00:42:06,904
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
741
00:42:14,662 --> 00:42:15,871
(BREATHES SHAKILY)
742
00:42:31,971 --> 00:42:32,972
Oh.
743
00:42:36,517 --> 00:42:39,270
Why are you smoking?
I don't know.
744
00:42:40,938 --> 00:42:42,690
Quentin did sometimes.
745
00:42:43,733 --> 00:42:44,734
Can I have one?
746
00:42:49,447 --> 00:42:53,117
You know, you're the only person in
the world who can smoke judgmentally.
747
00:42:55,536 --> 00:42:56,871
I know what
you're going through.
748
00:42:57,913 --> 00:43:01,792
When your father died, I was a
wreck. I didn't know what to do.
749
00:43:03,043 --> 00:43:06,422
I wasn't ready to be alone. I
didn't even know how to be alone.
750
00:43:06,839 --> 00:43:09,592
I did some pretty
insane things just to get by.
751
00:43:12,094 --> 00:43:16,223
Insane even for me. But
I'll spare you the details.
752
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:17,850
Doesn't sound like you.
753
00:43:18,517 --> 00:43:20,144
Well, I could tell you,
if you prefer.
754
00:43:21,270 --> 00:43:22,688
What's your point, Mom?
755
00:43:23,481 --> 00:43:26,192
That everything's just gonna
get better eventually?
756
00:43:27,109 --> 00:43:29,737
No one gets to tell you
how to grieve, Alice.
757
00:43:31,530 --> 00:43:33,616
You're on this journey
by yourself.
758
00:43:34,992 --> 00:43:37,411
Only you know where
it's gonna take you.
759
00:43:38,871 --> 00:43:42,541
If you need to do something
crazy to get through it,
760
00:43:44,335 --> 00:43:46,128
do something crazy, okay?
761
00:43:55,930 --> 00:43:57,389
(FOOTSTEPS DEPART)
762
00:43:57,413 --> 00:44:02,413
http://hiqve.com/
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