Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:06,185 --> 00:00:09,091
Kevin and Allison... Together forever!
2
00:00:09,406 --> 00:00:11,125
Oh! Aah!
3
00:00:11,130 --> 00:00:13,500
- So what'd I miss?
- I'm gonna kill Kevin.
4
00:00:13,505 --> 00:00:14,808
You know any natural-born killers?
5
00:00:14,812 --> 00:00:16,011
I think I might.
6
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,187
Okay, I can do it.
7
00:00:18,554 --> 00:00:19,601
Is that a gun?
8
00:00:19,606 --> 00:00:20,885
I have to protect us.
9
00:00:22,262 --> 00:00:23,547
- It was Nick.
- He wasn't supposed to
10
00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:25,431
- come for another week.
- Oh, trust me, I know.
11
00:00:25,890 --> 00:00:27,960
We don't take shootings lightly.
12
00:00:27,965 --> 00:00:29,112
You may not want to go out of town.
13
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,813
I have a higher callin', babe.
14
00:00:30,818 --> 00:00:32,501
I'm running for office!
15
00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:37,180
You're the one who tried to kill
her husband. And it was a bust.
16
00:00:37,184 --> 00:00:38,555
And you're the one who helped.
17
00:00:39,827 --> 00:00:41,703
I heard everything.
18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,271
Neil, it's not what you think.
19
00:00:45,728 --> 00:00:47,999
You're not gonna tell Kevin anything.
20
00:00:57,903 --> 00:00:59,710
Ah. What the hell are you doing?
21
00:00:59,715 --> 00:01:00,891
- You were choking her!
- You were choking me!
22
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:03,188
I was not. I was trying
to get my phone back.
23
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:04,393
You had your hands on my neck!
24
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,678
What the hell were you thinking?
25
00:01:05,683 --> 00:01:08,280
Oh, what? C-Come on.
26
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:10,390
She's trying to play victim here?
27
00:01:10,395 --> 00:01:12,195
You tried to kill Kevin.
28
00:01:12,630 --> 00:01:14,110
Kevin!
29
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,734
You're insane.
30
00:01:16,362 --> 00:01:19,061
Everyone has to know. Kevin has to know.
31
00:01:19,456 --> 00:01:20,835
He has to.
32
00:01:21,284 --> 00:01:23,078
Oh, shit!
33
00:01:23,654 --> 00:01:25,080
Allison?
34
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,671
Oh, God.
35
00:01:26,902 --> 00:01:28,609
Oh, God.
36
00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:30,467
Allison?!
37
00:01:30,472 --> 00:01:32,273
Okay, okay.
38
00:01:33,046 --> 00:01:34,953
- Allison?
- Okay.
39
00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:37,226
We have to m-make it look
40
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,016
like none of this ever happened, okay?
41
00:01:39,021 --> 00:01:40,196
Like normal.
42
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,742
Normal?
43
00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:44,734
But this isn't normal.
None of this is normal.
44
00:01:44,739 --> 00:01:46,351
I didn't know what to do.
45
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,401
So you kettled my brother?
How does this help?
46
00:01:48,406 --> 00:01:49,668
Well, he's unconscious, right?
47
00:01:49,673 --> 00:01:51,196
Which means he's not talking.
48
00:01:51,201 --> 00:01:53,813
He's also not moving. What
are we gonna do about this?
49
00:01:56,652 --> 00:01:58,054
Allison, hello?!
50
00:01:58,059 --> 00:01:59,712
I know, I know.
51
00:01:59,717 --> 00:02:01,843
Just please stop yelling, okay?
52
00:02:05,835 --> 00:02:07,835
Okay, I have a plan. I have a plan.
53
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,015
Give me your phone.
54
00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:10,673
- Why?
- Give me your phone, okay?
55
00:02:12,505 --> 00:02:13,620
Who are you calling?
56
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:15,061
Why are you still yelling?
57
00:02:20,359 --> 00:02:21,708
Hi!
58
00:02:21,713 --> 00:02:23,845
Hi, hi, hi, this is Allison.
59
00:02:24,391 --> 00:02:27,437
Fine. Um, listen, I
could really use your help
60
00:02:27,442 --> 00:02:29,879
with... something.
61
00:02:36,744 --> 00:02:41,744
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.MY-SUBS.com
62
00:02:45,255 --> 00:02:46,635
Hey.
63
00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:48,762
I'm really sorry about all this.
64
00:02:50,633 --> 00:02:51,721
I know.
65
00:02:57,128 --> 00:02:59,002
We'll fix it together, okay?
66
00:02:59,682 --> 00:03:01,293
All of it.
67
00:03:04,431 --> 00:03:05,649
Okay.
68
00:03:05,654 --> 00:03:08,080
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
69
00:03:09,614 --> 00:03:11,550
Oh.
70
00:03:15,384 --> 00:03:16,965
- Hey.
- Whoa.
71
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,738
- Thank you.
- No, I mean hey,
72
00:03:18,743 --> 00:03:20,760
hey, hey, Diane.
73
00:03:20,765 --> 00:03:22,652
I... You okay?
74
00:03:22,913 --> 00:03:24,425
Fine.
75
00:03:24,839 --> 00:03:26,928
Okay.
76
00:03:27,261 --> 00:03:30,221
Well, thank you for
bringing the hand truck.
77
00:03:30,226 --> 00:03:31,837
Oh.
78
00:03:31,952 --> 00:03:33,496
Mm-hmm.
79
00:03:34,363 --> 00:03:35,972
Okay.
80
00:03:36,371 --> 00:03:37,965
Sure you're okay, D?
81
00:03:37,970 --> 00:03:41,408
Chuck's been cheating
on me for 10 years.
82
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:46,340
With Tanya Iacono
from across the street.
83
00:03:46,345 --> 00:03:48,608
Oh, D, that... That is terrible.
84
00:03:48,613 --> 00:03:50,191
I am so sorry.
85
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:52,824
Am I that much of an idiot?
86
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,737
No, no, no, no.
87
00:03:55,742 --> 00:04:00,481
Sh-She has this curly
hair like Felicity.
88
00:04:02,407 --> 00:04:04,496
And she sells Avon.
89
00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:07,751
Has all those fancy creams.
90
00:04:08,101 --> 00:04:10,800
But, D, you... you have
great hair, too, you know?
91
00:04:10,805 --> 00:04:12,416
You're... You're too good for him.
92
00:04:12,421 --> 00:04:13,730
You're better off without him,
93
00:04:13,735 --> 00:04:16,558
so just... Just kick him to the curb.
94
00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:18,051
Oh.
95
00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:19,707
Yeah, yeah.
96
00:04:21,183 --> 00:04:22,655
It's fine, it's fine.
97
00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:24,199
Just... to hell with him.
98
00:04:24,204 --> 00:04:25,379
- Yeah.
- Right?
99
00:04:25,384 --> 00:04:26,994
The jerk can't even remember to...
100
00:04:26,999 --> 00:04:29,550
To drink water unless I remind him.
101
00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:31,496
He'll probably drop dead in a week.
102
00:04:31,501 --> 00:04:33,254
Oh, that's the spirit.
103
00:04:33,259 --> 00:04:34,707
Oh, hey, let's, uh...
104
00:04:34,712 --> 00:04:36,366
Let's go down the Seas for a few, huh?
105
00:04:36,378 --> 00:04:38,032
My treat?
106
00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:39,543
Can I get a rain check?
107
00:04:39,548 --> 00:04:42,183
Um, 'cause I've been
moving some furniture.
108
00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:47,189
- Okay.
- Okay.
109
00:04:49,126 --> 00:04:50,954
- Okay, I'll just...
- Alright.
110
00:04:50,959 --> 00:04:51,960
Bye.
111
00:04:59,935 --> 00:05:01,879
You have to keep him quiet.
112
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,230
I'm sorry, I've never
had a hostage before.
113
00:05:04,235 --> 00:05:05,863
I'm not great at it yet.
114
00:05:06,445 --> 00:05:09,274
I think it's technically
kidnapping, not hostage taking.
115
00:05:09,405 --> 00:05:11,045
Are you serious?
116
00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:14,409
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's Kevin.
117
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:15,719
Oh, God.
118
00:05:18,782 --> 00:05:20,199
Hmm?
119
00:05:23,384 --> 00:05:25,496
Oh, God, what a night!
120
00:05:26,011 --> 00:05:28,840
It's like I was made for politicking.
121
00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:32,363
It's those meaty mitts.
They're great for handshaking.
122
00:05:32,452 --> 00:05:34,497
I've always been told I'm ham-handed.
123
00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:36,558
Now I made it a positive.
124
00:05:37,372 --> 00:05:39,548
Ah, this belt is killin' me.
125
00:05:39,741 --> 00:05:41,787
Hey, think about it, though.
126
00:05:41,948 --> 00:05:44,342
If you win, you could make this town
127
00:05:44,347 --> 00:05:46,610
a much better place to live.
128
00:05:46,803 --> 00:05:48,066
For us.
129
00:05:48,071 --> 00:05:49,648
It's true. Think about it...
130
00:05:49,653 --> 00:05:52,121
Parades, no speeding tickets,
131
00:05:52,126 --> 00:05:54,740
peeing outside any bar
we damn well please!
132
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,777
Hey! We have to get him out of here.
133
00:05:59,782 --> 00:06:01,132
Oh, yeah.
134
00:06:03,927 --> 00:06:06,321
That's it. I think
this new City Councilman
135
00:06:06,326 --> 00:06:08,058
has earned himself a beer.
136
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,254
No, hey...
137
00:06:09,843 --> 00:06:11,193
Oh...
138
00:06:11,386 --> 00:06:12,689
Lift with your legs.
139
00:06:12,693 --> 00:06:13,737
Lift at all.
140
00:06:13,742 --> 00:06:15,652
I am. Come on.
141
00:06:15,657 --> 00:06:18,703
We got to focus. This
thing isn't yours yet.
142
00:06:18,708 --> 00:06:20,840
They're picking the candidate this week.
143
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,524
So step one... we got to
get your name out there.
144
00:06:23,529 --> 00:06:25,863
Hmm. Oh, I still got that bullhorn.
145
00:06:25,868 --> 00:06:27,653
Remember when we
protested the grand opening
146
00:06:27,658 --> 00:06:30,590
of that new vegan barbecue place? Ugh!
147
00:06:31,515 --> 00:06:34,553
No, we're gonna go
full "Mad Men" on this.
148
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:37,886
We're gonna come up with
an incredible TV ad campaign
149
00:06:37,891 --> 00:06:40,171
and day drink.
150
00:06:40,571 --> 00:06:42,007
We have two days.
151
00:06:45,282 --> 00:06:47,632
You mean like an adad?
152
00:06:47,942 --> 00:06:50,510
Yes. Something awesome?
153
00:06:50,515 --> 00:06:51,764
Like my very own...
154
00:06:51,769 --> 00:06:53,639
♪ Maybe it's Maybelline ♪
155
00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,250
But tougher?
156
00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:57,981
No!
157
00:06:57,986 --> 00:07:00,952
Hell yes. I'm Kevin McRoberts,
158
00:07:00,957 --> 00:07:03,809
and I approve that message!
159
00:07:06,082 --> 00:07:08,053
Thin much?
160
00:07:16,357 --> 00:07:17,636
Okay.
161
00:07:18,696 --> 00:07:19,722
Okay what?
162
00:07:19,727 --> 00:07:20,902
What are we gonna...
163
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,082
How we gonna deal with this?
164
00:07:22,087 --> 00:07:23,426
How's he gonna go to the bathroom?
165
00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:24,822
I don't know yet.
166
00:07:27,435 --> 00:07:29,690
He knows. Everything.
167
00:07:29,695 --> 00:07:30,737
No, he doesn't know everything.
168
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,395
And Nick is alive.
169
00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,320
This whole thing, when
it was just the two of us,
170
00:07:34,325 --> 00:07:36,018
I-I don't know.
171
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:38,939
It seemed reasonable, justifiable.
172
00:07:38,944 --> 00:07:40,206
But it wasn't, and it's not.
173
00:07:40,211 --> 00:07:42,213
He knows, Allison, and now he's tied up
174
00:07:42,218 --> 00:07:43,564
and bleeding, and we did that, too.
175
00:07:43,568 --> 00:07:44,995
Okay.
176
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,089
Look, this is bad.
177
00:07:47,094 --> 00:07:48,400
It is.
178
00:07:48,405 --> 00:07:50,465
But at least we bought
ourselves some time.
179
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,472
Hey? We'll figure it out.
180
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,745
I just...
181
00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,317
need some more time.
182
00:08:27,212 --> 00:08:28,431
Oh, God.
183
00:08:28,436 --> 00:08:29,524
What time is it?
184
00:08:29,529 --> 00:08:31,087
I have no idea.
185
00:08:31,567 --> 00:08:34,222
Can't tell if it's been
20 minutes or 8 hours.
186
00:08:34,417 --> 00:08:35,517
Oh, God.
187
00:08:35,522 --> 00:08:37,712
Oh, no, Kevin must be up by now.
188
00:08:38,361 --> 00:08:39,572
Ugh.
189
00:08:47,268 --> 00:08:48,791
What are you doing?
190
00:08:49,078 --> 00:08:50,642
I went for a run.
191
00:08:51,496 --> 00:08:53,976
I got up early, and I went for a run.
192
00:08:57,950 --> 00:08:59,343
You're leaving me here to deal...
193
00:08:59,348 --> 00:09:01,704
No, no, no, no. I'll
be right back, okay?
194
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,015
I promise.
195
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:24,384
Finally, you kiss a baby
196
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,649
you dump the baby, turn to camera,
197
00:09:27,344 --> 00:09:29,024
say you approve this message
198
00:09:29,029 --> 00:09:31,313
because your name is Kevin McRoberts.
199
00:09:31,318 --> 00:09:33,363
Boom!
200
00:09:33,586 --> 00:09:35,165
I don't know, Dad.
201
00:09:35,170 --> 00:09:37,540
What don't you know? Well,
that's your name, son.
202
00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:41,204
I know, but this ad has... Has no pomp,
203
00:09:41,209 --> 00:09:43,102
It has no whimsy.
204
00:09:43,726 --> 00:09:46,017
A-And you did all these drawings?
205
00:09:46,022 --> 00:09:48,024
- Yeah.
- Dad, they're terrible.
206
00:09:49,662 --> 00:09:52,369
Look, this town has to believe
you're a serious candidate.
207
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:53,876
Serious candidate?
208
00:09:53,881 --> 00:09:57,227
Dad, the only thing serious
about me is my heart condition.
209
00:10:00,826 --> 00:10:02,649
I went for a run.
210
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:04,995
How many miles?
211
00:10:05,211 --> 00:10:06,387
Two.
212
00:10:08,006 --> 00:10:09,751
But, hey, I'm glad that you're here,
213
00:10:09,756 --> 00:10:11,782
because now you can hear the new jingle
214
00:10:11,787 --> 00:10:14,007
that I wrote for the campaign.
215
00:10:14,012 --> 00:10:16,145
- ♪ Ke... ♪
- No.
216
00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:18,630
Kev, we got to get this right.
217
00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:20,821
It's true. In two days,
218
00:10:20,826 --> 00:10:22,743
the mayor is hand-picking
the next candidate.
219
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,887
And if the rumors of
his fetish are true,
220
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,735
he's also feet-picking.
221
00:10:27,936 --> 00:10:31,673
You're... You're being seriously
considered for public office?
222
00:10:31,685 --> 00:10:34,274
Absolutely! I'm gonna be like...
223
00:10:34,279 --> 00:10:37,279
Like an influencer, but for politicking.
224
00:10:37,790 --> 00:10:39,321
What do you call that?
225
00:10:39,926 --> 00:10:41,204
Politician.
226
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:44,813
And... And so this election, it's...
227
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:46,559
Here to stay, baby!
228
00:10:46,564 --> 00:10:50,134
Like that mole on my hip that
I refuse to get looked at.
229
00:10:50,403 --> 00:10:52,571
I nicknamed it Neil.
230
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:55,606
Speaking of, where is Neil, anyway?
231
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,788
Neil? Neil... Neil? Neil? Neil? Uh...
232
00:11:00,418 --> 00:11:02,332
Has he not been around?
233
00:11:02,337 --> 00:11:04,615
I just assumed the world got quieter.
234
00:11:05,725 --> 00:11:08,360
It is a rough ride
clinging to coattails,
235
00:11:08,365 --> 00:11:12,107
but that is his job as
my best friend to hang on.
236
00:11:12,112 --> 00:11:13,592
Maybe I need to go remind him of that
237
00:11:13,597 --> 00:11:15,321
in the form of a purple nurple.
238
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,798
Oh, no, no, because, you know,
239
00:11:16,803 --> 00:11:19,267
Patty said that he got food poisoning.
240
00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,977
I guess he has that one plate
that he uses over and over.
241
00:11:23,742 --> 00:11:25,636
Ah, yep, the blue one.
242
00:11:26,888 --> 00:11:29,369
Son, he's a distraction, alright?
243
00:11:29,374 --> 00:11:30,723
We've got to get focused.
244
00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:33,852
Got to get serious. You
got to get thick shoes
245
00:11:33,857 --> 00:11:36,173
that won't be punctured
by stray needles.
246
00:11:36,945 --> 00:11:39,821
We're going to the vacant lot
to shoot this political ad!
247
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,843
Aw, man, Neil is gonna be bummed.
248
00:11:43,848 --> 00:11:45,502
He loves that place.
249
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:04,704
I've never hurt him before.
250
00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:08,593
Hey.
251
00:12:08,598 --> 00:12:11,665
Hey, if you need a
reminder of what he did...
252
00:12:13,571 --> 00:12:14,789
Jesus.
253
00:12:19,420 --> 00:12:21,509
You were basically saving my life.
254
00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:33,454
Oh, God.
255
00:12:33,459 --> 00:12:35,923
Okay, we have to get him to a doctor.
256
00:12:35,928 --> 00:12:37,582
What, what? What?
257
00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:39,712
That might be really
bad. I have no idea.
258
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,414
No. Hey. Hey.
259
00:12:41,419 --> 00:12:43,610
He's awake. He's alert.
260
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:46,423
Watching all of "ER" does
not make you a doctor.
261
00:12:46,428 --> 00:12:49,155
I don't like this situation
either, okay?
262
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,280
But we can't let him out
until we know he'll be quiet.
263
00:12:54,011 --> 00:12:55,709
And how are we gonna do that?
264
00:12:55,721 --> 00:12:57,419
I don't know. I don't...
265
00:12:57,627 --> 00:12:59,983
Blackmail? I don't...
We'll figure it out, okay?
266
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,772
No, no.
267
00:13:02,176 --> 00:13:03,917
We have to do something now.
268
00:13:03,922 --> 00:13:05,010
Reason with him.
269
00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,412
Reason? With Neil?
270
00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:08,717
Yeah. He's not a complete idiot.
271
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:10,593
He just wants you to think he is.
272
00:13:10,598 --> 00:13:11,920
Why?
273
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:14,116
Because... then you pay his rent
274
00:13:14,121 --> 00:13:15,905
and bail him out for 30 years.
275
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:20,582
- Wait, wait. What...
- Trust me.
276
00:13:20,947 --> 00:13:22,645
This place is a vault.
277
00:13:27,628 --> 00:13:29,151
- Bitch.
- Great start.
278
00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,452
Okay, okay.
279
00:13:32,364 --> 00:13:33,931
Neil.
280
00:13:37,028 --> 00:13:38,465
This is a misunderstanding.
281
00:13:38,470 --> 00:13:40,952
- A misunderstanding?
- Uh-huh.
282
00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:43,296
Um, hello?!
283
00:13:43,301 --> 00:13:45,261
You think I buy that I'm
tied up with a head wound
284
00:13:45,266 --> 00:13:47,413
'cause I, what, heard you wrong?
285
00:13:47,418 --> 00:13:49,072
- No.
- Yes.
286
00:13:49,077 --> 00:13:50,725
It's 'cause you were choking Allison.
287
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,512
No, no, no, you would've
just called the cops,
288
00:13:52,516 --> 00:13:54,300
not whatever the hell this is.
289
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:58,009
You tried to kill Kevin.
290
00:14:01,826 --> 00:14:02,826
- Fine.
- No...
291
00:14:02,831 --> 00:14:04,920
Okay, but there were circumstances,
292
00:14:04,925 --> 00:14:07,936
and it was a terrible
momentary thing, and it's over.
293
00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:10,478
It's done.
294
00:14:10,774 --> 00:14:12,863
Oh, like I'm just gonna believe you?
295
00:14:13,047 --> 00:14:14,396
Look at what you did to me.
296
00:14:14,401 --> 00:14:15,750
Well, look what you did to me.
297
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:17,231
Oh, that's the same as
trying to kill someone?
298
00:14:17,235 --> 00:14:19,069
It's all bad, okay?
299
00:14:19,074 --> 00:14:21,108
And I can't believe you helped her.
300
00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:24,060
I thought you were one of us, but this?
301
00:14:24,543 --> 00:14:26,210
You're clearly nuts.
302
00:14:26,567 --> 00:14:28,835
I always knew you'd take after Mom.
303
00:14:29,407 --> 00:14:31,778
- Ow!
- You're a useless piece of shit
304
00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:32,915
- just like Dad!
- Okay.
305
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,337
- You hear me?!
- Okay. Okay.
306
00:14:34,342 --> 00:14:35,986
Ah! Ow!
307
00:14:41,586 --> 00:14:44,632
Neil. Think about it.
308
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:48,993
Kevin's, like, running
for public office.
309
00:14:49,649 --> 00:14:51,783
He's a public figure now.
310
00:14:52,681 --> 00:14:55,509
So it'd be suicide
for us to try anything.
311
00:14:56,494 --> 00:14:58,111
Right?
312
00:14:59,423 --> 00:15:00,533
Right?
313
00:15:00,538 --> 00:15:01,713
Yes, ri... Yes. Yes.
314
00:15:01,718 --> 00:15:03,454
Yes. Right.
315
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:07,337
Okay. So you're done trying
to kill my best friend.
316
00:15:07,342 --> 00:15:10,034
Congrats. You still tried once!
317
00:15:11,709 --> 00:15:12,986
Who's...
318
00:15:12,991 --> 00:15:14,122
Help!
319
00:15:14,127 --> 00:15:16,079
No! Oh! Shh, shh, shh! Help! Help!
320
00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,869
Shut up! Okay. Shut up,
shut up, shut up, shut up.
321
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:20,041
You said this place was a vault.
322
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,509
It is, but now's not a
good time to test that.
323
00:15:25,428 --> 00:15:26,690
Hey.
324
00:15:26,857 --> 00:15:28,368
Hey.
325
00:15:28,948 --> 00:15:30,767
Isn't that what you wore last night?
326
00:15:31,393 --> 00:15:33,118
Mm, yeah.
327
00:15:33,505 --> 00:15:35,333
I fell asleep on the couch.
328
00:15:35,338 --> 00:15:36,861
Just woke up.
329
00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,108
- Are you ready?
- Ready for...
330
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:41,315
Don't you have a couple porch chairs
331
00:15:41,319 --> 00:15:43,618
you Tom-Sawyered me into
putting together with you?
332
00:15:44,594 --> 00:15:46,024
I mean, you said "with."
333
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,724
I assume you meant "for."
334
00:15:49,272 --> 00:15:50,665
I'm... I'm sorry.
335
00:15:50,670 --> 00:15:52,977
I, uh... I completely spaced.
336
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:56,390
The truth is, is I'm...
I'm not feeling very well.
337
00:15:56,395 --> 00:15:57,916
Oh, is that why you slept on the couch?
338
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,226
Yeah, mm-hmm.
339
00:15:59,231 --> 00:16:01,509
Sorry. But you're in luck,
340
00:16:01,514 --> 00:16:03,837
because I heat up chicken
noodle soup real well.
341
00:16:03,842 --> 00:16:04,900
Mostly because I add extra pasta...
342
00:16:04,904 --> 00:16:08,298
Soup sounds great,
but let's not be here.
343
00:16:08,303 --> 00:16:09,743
- Let's go out.
- Are you sure?
344
00:16:09,748 --> 00:16:12,011
- I mean, if you're sick...
- No, no.
345
00:16:12,016 --> 00:16:13,583
Going out will do me good.
346
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:15,274
Fresh air and all that.
347
00:16:15,279 --> 00:16:18,146
Why don't you go keep
warming the car, and I'll...
348
00:16:18,151 --> 00:16:19,152
I'll be there in a few minutes
349
00:16:19,156 --> 00:16:21,181
after I, you know... pbht!
350
00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:24,350
I don't know. I kind of like
this look even more day two.
351
00:16:24,355 --> 00:16:26,284
Shut up. I'll be right out. I...
352
00:16:34,089 --> 00:16:35,603
- Help!
- Shh!
353
00:16:35,615 --> 00:16:36,878
It's Tammy.
354
00:16:36,883 --> 00:16:38,704
- Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!
- Shut up.
355
00:16:38,709 --> 00:16:40,188
Is she gone?
356
00:16:40,528 --> 00:16:42,399
I-I told her I was sick
357
00:16:42,404 --> 00:16:43,663
and I'd go out for soup or something.
358
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,212
I don't know, I think I blacked out.
359
00:16:45,957 --> 00:16:47,829
How the hell am I dating a cop?
360
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:51,861
Okay, no, no, it's good to
get her away from here, okay?
361
00:16:51,866 --> 00:16:53,900
So you keep her happy. I'll stay here.
362
00:16:54,315 --> 00:16:56,056
Are you sure?
363
00:16:56,303 --> 00:16:57,903
I don't want to leave
you alone with him.
364
00:16:57,908 --> 00:16:59,748
It's fine, it's fine.
I'll... I'll work on him.
365
00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:01,337
I'll try to fix it.
366
00:17:01,342 --> 00:17:03,681
Okay. I'll be quick.
367
00:17:03,686 --> 00:17:04,949
Okay.
368
00:17:04,954 --> 00:17:07,261
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
369
00:17:07,266 --> 00:17:08,761
Please.
370
00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:15,744
I really am sorry about all this.
371
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:17,744
No, I really am.
372
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,322
I didn't know what to do.
It just got out of hand.
373
00:17:42,054 --> 00:17:43,507
What?
374
00:17:45,172 --> 00:17:47,257
Does Patty pay your rent?
375
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:49,546
It was our parents' duplex.
376
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,162
No, but the mortgage.
377
00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:53,757
She has to, right? 'Cause
you can't hold down a job
378
00:17:53,762 --> 00:17:55,179
for more than a couple of weeks.
379
00:17:55,184 --> 00:17:57,453
It's not my fault. I get overwhelmed.
380
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,289
Oh. Right.
381
00:18:02,138 --> 00:18:04,101
And everything else?
382
00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:07,937
Does Kevin pay for everything else?
383
00:18:09,705 --> 00:18:11,320
But how?
384
00:18:11,807 --> 00:18:15,071
I can't even get him to
put gas in his own car.
385
00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:16,721
He never does anything I want him to.
386
00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:18,273
Why would he?
387
00:18:18,687 --> 00:18:22,735
You know how often
you say, "But, Kevin"?
388
00:18:22,889 --> 00:18:24,369
- Okay.
- We made a drinking game
389
00:18:24,374 --> 00:18:27,398
out of it last St Paddy's day.
I blacked out.
390
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:30,276
Well, you also took a
header off Turtle Boy,
391
00:18:30,281 --> 00:18:32,283
and Kevin laughed till he puked,
392
00:18:32,288 --> 00:18:34,246
so it was a great day.
393
00:18:34,266 --> 00:18:38,937
You're always trying to make
him do stuff or not do stuff.
394
00:18:38,942 --> 00:18:40,813
But when has nagging him ever worked?
395
00:18:45,775 --> 00:18:47,351
Never.
396
00:18:55,543 --> 00:18:57,515
So that's why you tried to kill him?
397
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,887
'Cause he doesn't care when you whine?
398
00:19:10,422 --> 00:19:13,226
Maybe he doesn't care when I whine,
399
00:19:13,231 --> 00:19:15,930
but he laughs when you bleed.
400
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:19,617
Oh, come on.
401
00:19:24,579 --> 00:19:26,407
Maybe someday you'll see that.
402
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,115
Order up.
403
00:19:38,236 --> 00:19:39,977
Isn't this place great?
404
00:19:40,225 --> 00:19:43,663
It has zero charm, which
is of course my type.
405
00:19:49,796 --> 00:19:51,175
Hey.
406
00:19:52,348 --> 00:19:53,871
You feeling okay?
407
00:19:55,258 --> 00:19:58,019
I'm sorry. I, uh, um...
408
00:19:59,028 --> 00:20:02,121
I thought getting out of the
house would help, but maybe...
409
00:20:02,579 --> 00:20:04,625
maybe this was a bad idea.
410
00:20:04,888 --> 00:20:06,706
Were you up all night?
411
00:20:07,298 --> 00:20:09,097
Pretty much.
412
00:20:09,327 --> 00:20:10,816
Maybe I just go back with you.
413
00:20:10,821 --> 00:20:12,127
No.
414
00:20:12,132 --> 00:20:14,744
No. It's fine.
415
00:20:14,898 --> 00:20:17,324
It's terrible being sick and alone.
416
00:20:17,329 --> 00:20:19,984
I wasn't alone. Allison
came by a few times.
417
00:20:19,989 --> 00:20:21,077
Mm.
418
00:20:27,979 --> 00:20:30,128
I know you don't like her.
419
00:20:30,922 --> 00:20:32,881
But you don't really know her.
420
00:20:32,986 --> 00:20:34,509
Do you?
421
00:20:34,514 --> 00:20:36,211
Know her or like her?
422
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:37,464
Either.
423
00:20:38,079 --> 00:20:39,515
Yeah.
424
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:41,481
I mean, it...
425
00:20:41,486 --> 00:20:43,401
It's just like you with Bram.
426
00:20:43,783 --> 00:20:45,002
I don't get it at all,
427
00:20:45,007 --> 00:20:46,922
but you cut that guy all kinds of slack.
428
00:20:46,927 --> 00:20:49,144
- He's my partner.
- Yeah, and she and I
429
00:20:49,149 --> 00:20:50,886
are around each other a lot.
430
00:20:50,891 --> 00:20:53,402
We put up with the same idiots all day.
431
00:20:54,076 --> 00:20:56,566
I don't know. I mean,
she looks out for me.
432
00:20:56,571 --> 00:20:58,113
I look out for her.
433
00:20:58,384 --> 00:21:00,169
If you say so.
434
00:21:00,463 --> 00:21:01,725
I do.
435
00:21:06,186 --> 00:21:07,927
Order up.
436
00:21:10,490 --> 00:21:11,927
Excuse me.
437
00:21:13,846 --> 00:21:15,743
Oh, good, you're home.
438
00:21:15,748 --> 00:21:17,094
I need you to look at something.
439
00:21:17,099 --> 00:21:18,672
No, I am not doing that again.
440
00:21:18,684 --> 00:21:20,991
Just get a hand mirror and
lift your legs over your head.
441
00:21:20,996 --> 00:21:24,651
No, my dad just sent over the
rough cut of our political ad.
442
00:21:24,656 --> 00:21:28,312
I need the opinion of
the... uninformed public.
443
00:21:28,728 --> 00:21:30,295
Please sit.
444
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,432
Kev, after what happened,
445
00:21:32,437 --> 00:21:34,141
isn't it a lot to put ourselves through?
446
00:21:34,146 --> 00:21:35,829
It's not a lot, babe.
447
00:21:35,834 --> 00:21:37,516
It's only a 30-second ad.
448
00:21:37,521 --> 00:21:38,970
No, I mean this whole election thing.
449
00:21:38,974 --> 00:21:40,801
It's... It's... It's too much.
450
00:21:40,806 --> 00:21:42,813
It's not too much, I promise.
451
00:21:42,818 --> 00:21:44,037
We... We'll fund-raise.
452
00:21:44,042 --> 00:21:45,626
It won't cost us a thing.
453
00:21:45,631 --> 00:21:46,844
But, Kevin!
454
00:21:46,856 --> 00:21:48,640
"But, Kev-i-i-in."
455
00:21:51,607 --> 00:21:53,130
Never mind.
456
00:21:53,363 --> 00:21:54,680
Let's watch the ad.
457
00:21:54,685 --> 00:21:56,644
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
458
00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:58,988
Hi, I'm Kevin McRoberts,
459
00:21:58,993 --> 00:22:02,145
everyday hero. And I, Kevin McRoberts,
460
00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:03,940
am running for City Council.
461
00:22:03,945 --> 00:22:07,687
That's Kevin McRoberts... K-E-V-I-N,
462
00:22:07,692 --> 00:22:09,979
big "M," little "c," big "R,"
463
00:22:09,984 --> 00:22:12,915
little "o," little "b," little "e"...
464
00:22:14,107 --> 00:22:15,597
Why'd you pause it?
465
00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:17,734
You didn't watch me finish spelling.
466
00:22:17,739 --> 00:22:20,050
Well, I know how it ends.
467
00:22:20,344 --> 00:22:23,268
I'm... I'm just worried
that this ad, it...
468
00:22:23,273 --> 00:22:25,275
It isn't you.
469
00:22:25,604 --> 00:22:29,448
How do you mean? Dad says it's
all about name recognition.
470
00:22:29,453 --> 00:22:31,128
That's my name.
471
00:22:31,691 --> 00:22:33,737
No, I mean it just doesn't...
472
00:22:34,297 --> 00:22:36,952
capture how awesome you really are.
473
00:22:37,091 --> 00:22:38,266
Bro.
474
00:22:41,060 --> 00:22:43,698
Call me absolutely insane...
475
00:22:44,195 --> 00:22:46,545
but you might actually be right!
476
00:22:46,550 --> 00:22:49,145
You know, when Dad was
story-boarding it out,
477
00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:50,412
I did feel a little...
478
00:22:50,417 --> 00:22:52,496
Like a... Like a weenie little pansy boy
479
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:54,808
- got dressed up by his daddy.
- Okay, okay.
480
00:22:54,813 --> 00:22:57,870
You need to show your
voters who you really are,
481
00:22:57,882 --> 00:23:01,973
your authentic... kickass self,
482
00:23:02,242 --> 00:23:05,159
and they'll remember you forever.
483
00:23:06,509 --> 00:23:07,784
Forever?
484
00:23:08,828 --> 00:23:11,564
Or at least until they vote.
485
00:23:13,214 --> 00:23:15,346
Yeah, but how would
we finish it in time?
486
00:23:15,351 --> 00:23:18,659
The ad's due to Local
Access 37 by tomorrow.
487
00:23:19,409 --> 00:23:20,759
I'll help you.
488
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,286
Last time you said that,
you grabbed the wheel,
489
00:23:23,291 --> 00:23:25,745
and I crashed into a fire hydrant.
490
00:23:26,971 --> 00:23:29,365
Instead of a crowd of children.
491
00:23:31,595 --> 00:23:33,909
That's it. It's settled.
492
00:23:33,914 --> 00:23:35,597
You and me, babe, we are gonna
493
00:23:35,602 --> 00:23:37,691
make a political ad together!
494
00:23:37,696 --> 00:23:40,742
Okay. Let's get our
creative juices flowing.
495
00:23:40,747 --> 00:23:42,933
Okay, okay, let's brainstorm.
496
00:23:42,938 --> 00:23:44,940
Oh, no, no, that's what
I call pounding beers
497
00:23:44,945 --> 00:23:46,643
and ripping shots.
498
00:23:46,883 --> 00:23:48,214
Of course.
499
00:23:48,770 --> 00:23:50,248
I'm in.
500
00:23:50,902 --> 00:23:53,296
Yes! Here you go.
501
00:23:53,301 --> 00:23:57,305
Let's introduce this town to
the authentic Kevin McRoberts.
502
00:24:02,251 --> 00:24:05,053
And this time, they're staying down!
503
00:24:07,403 --> 00:24:08,796
Allison?
504
00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:12,731
Allison?
505
00:24:23,405 --> 00:24:24,577
What happened? Where's Allison?
506
00:24:24,581 --> 00:24:26,131
She ran out of here right after you.
507
00:24:26,136 --> 00:24:27,404
She did? Why?
508
00:24:27,416 --> 00:24:31,029
She's with Kevin, probably
trying to kill him again.
509
00:24:31,578 --> 00:24:33,482
What the hell is she thinking?
510
00:24:33,602 --> 00:24:35,803
What the hell are you thinking?
511
00:24:36,955 --> 00:24:38,428
No.
512
00:24:40,258 --> 00:24:41,564
Don't start.
513
00:24:41,802 --> 00:24:43,552
Don't start that guilt-tripping crap.
514
00:24:43,557 --> 00:24:45,298
Oh, it's crap?
515
00:24:45,476 --> 00:24:46,951
Look at all this.
516
00:24:46,956 --> 00:24:48,762
- Ugh.
- I don't know why I'm bothering
517
00:24:48,774 --> 00:24:52,343
to try and make you care,
because she won't let me go,
518
00:24:52,348 --> 00:24:54,524
and you do what she
says, no questions asked.
519
00:24:54,529 --> 00:24:56,857
- That's not true.
- Oh, please.
520
00:24:56,862 --> 00:24:58,623
I've been watching you two.
521
00:24:59,041 --> 00:25:01,826
She says "we" all the time
like you're in this together,
522
00:25:01,831 --> 00:25:04,878
but, Patty, where is she?
523
00:25:05,165 --> 00:25:07,834
You do the work, and
she calls the shots.
524
00:25:08,412 --> 00:25:11,654
So why waste my time trying
to get you to help me, Trish?
525
00:25:11,659 --> 00:25:13,482
Don't call me that.
526
00:25:13,487 --> 00:25:17,537
But Lisa Fazzolari called you
that your entire junior year.
527
00:25:17,542 --> 00:25:19,251
That girl kept failing
her driver's test,
528
00:25:19,256 --> 00:25:21,476
and you'd chauffeur her everywhere,
529
00:25:21,481 --> 00:25:23,567
once to a party that you
weren't even invited to, right?
530
00:25:23,571 --> 00:25:24,833
Shut up.
531
00:25:25,019 --> 00:25:26,890
You just sat outside
keeping the car warm,
532
00:25:26,895 --> 00:25:29,271
but this is even more pathetic.
533
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,205
I don't care what you think.
534
00:25:37,677 --> 00:25:39,809
You had your hands on her.
535
00:25:40,168 --> 00:25:42,345
What excuse could you possibly have?
536
00:25:42,350 --> 00:25:44,603
It was an accident. Every
report card I ever got
537
00:25:44,608 --> 00:25:45,736
said I don't know my own strength.
538
00:25:45,740 --> 00:25:47,176
And it was bullshit then.
539
00:25:47,181 --> 00:25:49,444
She tried to kill someone.
540
00:25:52,076 --> 00:25:53,509
I could argue it was self "offense."
541
00:25:53,513 --> 00:25:55,549
Oh, God. Just stop.
542
00:25:56,465 --> 00:25:58,174
Jesus.
543
00:25:59,069 --> 00:26:00,299
She's...
544
00:26:01,598 --> 00:26:03,817
- That is no victim.
- Neil.
545
00:26:03,894 --> 00:26:05,983
Neil.
546
00:26:11,897 --> 00:26:13,538
Neil.
547
00:26:37,838 --> 00:26:39,535
Patty?
548
00:26:39,540 --> 00:26:40,964
No, no, no.
549
00:26:42,803 --> 00:26:44,370
Patty!
550
00:26:46,406 --> 00:26:48,277
Patty?
551
00:26:48,478 --> 00:26:49,870
Patty!
552
00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:55,167
What happened? Did he get out?
553
00:26:55,172 --> 00:26:56,660
No.
554
00:26:56,893 --> 00:26:58,488
I let him out.
555
00:26:58,946 --> 00:27:01,644
- What are you talking about?
- I brought him to the hospital.
556
00:27:01,813 --> 00:27:03,728
- W-Why?
- I had to.
557
00:27:03,992 --> 00:27:06,644
Whatever happens, happens,
but having him sedated in there
558
00:27:06,649 --> 00:27:08,389
is better than dead in my basement.
559
00:27:08,394 --> 00:27:10,219
Well, I didn't want him dead
in your basement, either,
560
00:27:10,223 --> 00:27:12,785
but we could have found another way.
561
00:27:13,189 --> 00:27:14,644
Why didn't you trust me?
562
00:27:14,649 --> 00:27:16,738
I couldn't wait for you
to realize this is serious.
563
00:27:16,743 --> 00:27:18,527
Oh, you think I don't know that?
564
00:27:18,532 --> 00:27:20,925
I didn't want to hurt him.
I didn't want any of this.
565
00:27:21,077 --> 00:27:23,775
- But also...
- Stop showing off the bruise.
566
00:27:23,789 --> 00:27:26,270
Yes, Neil did that,
567
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,399
but you're not just some victim.
568
00:27:28,686 --> 00:27:30,558
He's gonna talk when he wakes up.
569
00:27:30,563 --> 00:27:31,782
Maybe he should.
570
00:27:32,060 --> 00:27:33,235
What?
571
00:27:35,185 --> 00:27:36,652
I hope not.
572
00:27:37,706 --> 00:27:41,527
And I'll figure something out,
but I'll figure it out alone.
573
00:27:41,799 --> 00:27:43,975
You don't have to figure it out alone.
574
00:27:46,099 --> 00:27:47,666
Why did you leave?
575
00:27:47,985 --> 00:27:50,117
You left Neil in the basement.
576
00:27:50,122 --> 00:27:52,124
What were you doing with Kevin tonight?
577
00:27:56,306 --> 00:27:58,133
After everything that's happened,
578
00:27:58,138 --> 00:27:59,917
you're still trying to kill him?
579
00:27:59,922 --> 00:28:03,449
No, I just... I can't
have him in this election.
580
00:28:03,454 --> 00:28:06,433
Can you imagine him in any
position of power? Come on.
581
00:28:06,438 --> 00:28:08,855
I'm not an idiot, okay?
582
00:28:09,493 --> 00:28:11,347
Don't you just assume that I'll go along
583
00:28:11,352 --> 00:28:12,699
with whatever you say, on your side,
584
00:28:12,703 --> 00:28:14,226
no questions asked.
585
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:19,083
You want him out so that
you can try to run him over
586
00:28:19,088 --> 00:28:21,230
or force feed him Oxys
and no one will care.
587
00:28:21,235 --> 00:28:23,550
He'll be... He'll be nobody.
588
00:28:24,663 --> 00:28:27,187
Patty, I'm sorry, okay?
589
00:28:27,241 --> 00:28:29,200
But I had to do this tonight.
590
00:28:29,486 --> 00:28:31,706
And it's done, I think.
591
00:28:31,711 --> 00:28:33,386
So I am here.
592
00:28:33,848 --> 00:28:37,542
I'm not gonna make you try to
figure this out by yourself, okay?
593
00:28:37,547 --> 00:28:39,853
I really, I... I am here.
594
00:28:43,403 --> 00:28:44,824
No.
595
00:28:46,079 --> 00:28:48,081
No, you're not.
596
00:28:48,134 --> 00:28:49,699
Not anymore.
597
00:28:51,443 --> 00:28:53,967
Just take care of yourself, alright?
598
00:28:54,277 --> 00:28:55,831
And I'll do the same.
599
00:29:33,179 --> 00:29:35,170
Dad, Allison, come in here!
600
00:29:35,175 --> 00:29:37,444
The ad airs in like 30 seconds!
601
00:29:37,508 --> 00:29:40,459
I'm exhausted, I'm hungover,
and this is all I'm living for.
602
00:29:40,464 --> 00:29:42,139
I thank you for your support.
603
00:29:42,144 --> 00:29:44,576
I'm so excited. My pulse is racing.
604
00:29:44,581 --> 00:29:46,692
Have 911 pre-dialed.
605
00:29:46,697 --> 00:29:48,397
Shoot, I wanted to tape this.
606
00:29:48,402 --> 00:29:49,968
Oh, no. Don't worry.
I called the station.
607
00:29:49,972 --> 00:29:51,365
The campaign bought 40 spots.
608
00:29:51,370 --> 00:29:52,981
They'll be airing over and over all day.
609
00:29:52,986 --> 00:29:54,194
Shh, shh, shh.
610
00:29:54,199 --> 00:29:55,623
My ad is on.
611
00:29:55,978 --> 00:29:57,592
Wild Dude!
612
00:29:59,734 --> 00:30:02,127
He is a cool dude.
613
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,577
He shoots the bad dudes.
614
00:30:08,651 --> 00:30:11,029
The Worcester Wild Dude!
615
00:30:11,034 --> 00:30:12,849
- Is that the mayor?
- Yeah.
616
00:30:12,854 --> 00:30:16,108
Yeah. I heard that he plays
darts, and Allison thought
617
00:30:16,113 --> 00:30:18,170
that this might signal to
him that we could be bros.
618
00:30:18,175 --> 00:30:19,873
Bros, yeah, bros.
619
00:30:20,047 --> 00:30:22,180
The Worcester Wild Dude!
620
00:30:26,297 --> 00:30:27,639
Where the hell is my ad?
621
00:30:27,644 --> 00:30:30,326
Uh, scrapped for authenticity.
622
00:30:31,007 --> 00:30:33,818
That was awesome.
623
00:30:33,823 --> 00:30:35,695
Now I guess we just, uh, sit back
624
00:30:35,708 --> 00:30:38,647
and wait for my political star to rise.
625
00:30:39,386 --> 00:30:41,983
Kevin, what happened to messaging?
626
00:30:41,988 --> 00:30:44,436
Assertive pointing? Name recognition?
627
00:30:44,441 --> 00:30:48,406
Uh, Dad, I'm pretty sure people
will remember me after that.
628
00:30:49,725 --> 00:30:51,717
You didn't say your real name once!
629
00:30:54,077 --> 00:30:55,779
It's the mayor.
630
00:30:55,784 --> 00:30:58,631
Uh, excuse me while
I retire to my office.
631
00:30:58,636 --> 00:31:01,944
Kevin "Worcester Wild Dude"
McRoberts at your service.
632
00:31:04,007 --> 00:31:07,141
I knew I should have stayed out
of politics after Whitewater.
633
00:31:07,299 --> 00:31:08,953
The Clinton scandal?
634
00:31:09,273 --> 00:31:10,883
No, I went rafting with Gerald Ford.
635
00:31:10,888 --> 00:31:12,888
The boat flipped. I had
to give him mouth-to-mouth.
636
00:31:17,238 --> 00:31:18,936
- What's up?
- I'm out of the race.
637
00:31:18,941 --> 00:31:20,209
No!
638
00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,014
No...
639
00:31:22,019 --> 00:31:25,109
And he's filing a restraining
order against me.
640
00:31:25,299 --> 00:31:27,748
Just like Jeff Probst did against Neil.
641
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,897
Ugh, they booted me from my destiny.
642
00:31:31,324 --> 00:31:33,849
You nailed the mayor in the eye!
643
00:31:55,778 --> 00:31:58,259
- Hello?
- Diane? Hi.
644
00:31:58,358 --> 00:32:02,188
We are going to the Seas, and I
am buying you a bunch of drinks,
645
00:32:02,193 --> 00:32:06,030
because... maybe this is a win for you.
646
00:32:18,115 --> 00:32:20,988
They tried to kill him.
Can you believe?
647
00:32:24,685 --> 00:32:26,904
Bitches tried to kill me, too.
648
00:32:28,990 --> 00:32:31,334
You're fine. Everything's fine.
649
00:32:52,529 --> 00:32:55,053
I've never seen you drink like this.
650
00:32:55,308 --> 00:32:56,439
Like I'm having fun?
651
00:32:56,477 --> 00:32:58,653
Like there's no tomorrow.
652
00:33:00,123 --> 00:33:02,429
Okay, what... what are
we toasting to again?
653
00:33:04,865 --> 00:33:06,358
Feminism?
654
00:33:07,033 --> 00:33:08,912
Feminism?
655
00:33:09,275 --> 00:33:11,233
I don't know. Or something.
656
00:33:11,371 --> 00:33:14,076
Oh, la-di-da.
657
00:33:14,088 --> 00:33:16,961
I didn't realize you were
busy changing the world.
658
00:33:17,357 --> 00:33:18,968
I'm not.
659
00:33:18,973 --> 00:33:23,108
But I did something,
and it feels amazing.
660
00:33:23,230 --> 00:33:24,631
Mm-hmm.
661
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:26,712
I just need to focus on that
662
00:33:26,717 --> 00:33:29,826
before everything else
just crumbles to the ground,
663
00:33:29,831 --> 00:33:30,831
you know?
664
00:33:30,836 --> 00:33:32,522
Mm-hmm.
665
00:33:32,971 --> 00:33:34,277
D!
666
00:33:34,490 --> 00:33:38,576
This whole Chuck thing,
you're better off, okay?
667
00:33:38,938 --> 00:33:42,115
You're never gonna have to look
at another open cabinet again.
668
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,029
Not just the cabinets.
669
00:33:44,034 --> 00:33:49,115
The back door, the bathroom
vanity, the dishwasher.
670
00:33:49,127 --> 00:33:52,964
I could have tripped over that
and broken my neck, you know?
671
00:33:52,969 --> 00:33:54,326
But he couldn't be bothered.
672
00:33:55,621 --> 00:34:00,764
22 years, I spent closing
stuff behind that man.
673
00:34:01,867 --> 00:34:05,522
No, D, this isn't sad.
674
00:34:06,059 --> 00:34:08,014
This is like when someone dies,
675
00:34:08,023 --> 00:34:10,240
but they're really old, so it's fine.
676
00:34:11,464 --> 00:34:14,076
This isn't a funeral,
it's a celebration.
677
00:34:14,081 --> 00:34:16,186
Yeah. Yes.
678
00:34:17,951 --> 00:34:21,699
But I've been Mrs. Charles
McAnte for so long,
679
00:34:21,704 --> 00:34:25,645
it's like... it's like I
like cleaning up after him,
680
00:34:26,279 --> 00:34:29,035
because I don't know what I did before.
681
00:34:30,806 --> 00:34:34,199
Well, you... you were
a whole other person.
682
00:34:35,366 --> 00:34:38,653
And you'll find her again, okay?
683
00:34:39,413 --> 00:34:41,806
Just need a few more wins.
684
00:34:42,250 --> 00:34:43,338
Hmm.
685
00:34:43,460 --> 00:34:45,317
Hey, is that Kevin?
686
00:34:46,254 --> 00:34:48,645
It's on again. Turn it up.
687
00:34:48,650 --> 00:34:50,418
It... It is. It's Kevin.
688
00:34:50,423 --> 00:34:52,103
Wild Dude!
689
00:34:53,854 --> 00:34:56,817
- What?
- "He shoots the bad dudes."
690
00:34:58,884 --> 00:35:00,685
- "He is a cool dude."
- He is a cool dude.
691
00:35:00,689 --> 00:35:02,668
No, no, no, no.
692
00:35:03,662 --> 00:35:06,164
"The Worcester Wild Dude!"
693
00:35:06,866 --> 00:35:10,398
Why is your husband on TV, huh?
694
00:35:11,177 --> 00:35:13,358
Your husband's the Worcester Wild Dude?
695
00:35:13,363 --> 00:35:14,886
- Yeah.
- That's awesome!
696
00:35:14,891 --> 00:35:18,155
Okay. Okay, uh, how do you know this ad?
697
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:20,335
Oh, it's been airing
over and over all day.
698
00:35:20,340 --> 00:35:21,864
Then News Channel 12 picked it up.
699
00:35:21,869 --> 00:35:24,546
I heard it made it over
to Channel 6 out of Boston.
700
00:35:25,797 --> 00:35:26,929
Why?
701
00:35:26,934 --> 00:35:29,171
It's hilarious. I heard he's gonna be
702
00:35:29,176 --> 00:35:31,616
over at Kelly's Bar tomorrow,
singing the song live.
703
00:35:31,621 --> 00:35:33,405
Allison?!
704
00:35:33,410 --> 00:35:35,020
Kevin's famous!
705
00:35:35,025 --> 00:35:38,046
Oh. Okay, that is worth celebrating.
706
00:35:38,051 --> 00:35:40,053
I mean, I bet Kevin never forgets
707
00:35:40,058 --> 00:35:42,366
to close a cabinet behind him, huh?
708
00:35:42,371 --> 00:35:44,749
The only time Chuck ever made the news
709
00:35:44,754 --> 00:35:46,574
was during the blackout of '03
710
00:35:46,579 --> 00:35:49,296
when he looted that
dollar store, but Kevin?
711
00:35:49,307 --> 00:35:50,525
Cheers, everybody!
712
00:35:50,530 --> 00:35:52,140
Everyday Hero!
713
00:35:52,145 --> 00:35:54,038
Put another win on the board!
714
00:35:54,043 --> 00:35:55,563
The world revolves around him.
715
00:35:55,567 --> 00:35:58,069
No, it's not that it
does, it's that it has to.
716
00:35:58,074 --> 00:35:59,594
No one deserves
what's coming to them
717
00:35:59,598 --> 00:36:01,054
more than that asshole.
718
00:36:01,418 --> 00:36:02,636
Yeah!
719
00:36:02,641 --> 00:36:04,343
It's why he always wins.
720
00:36:16,631 --> 00:36:18,416
Ugh.
721
00:36:23,928 --> 00:36:25,103
Shoot.
722
00:36:53,449 --> 00:36:55,999
Glad you went in a ditch
'stead of hitting anyone else.
723
00:36:57,754 --> 00:37:02,062
The guys at the scene told me
you... fell asleep at the wheel?
724
00:37:05,098 --> 00:37:06,851
Your husband a cop or something?
725
00:37:08,404 --> 00:37:10,363
Or something, yeah.
726
00:37:10,758 --> 00:37:12,804
Must be nice.
727
00:37:24,465 --> 00:37:26,140
What happened to you?
728
00:37:27,555 --> 00:37:29,035
Got in an accident.
729
00:37:33,844 --> 00:37:35,498
How do I make this better?
730
00:37:38,557 --> 00:37:40,194
Maybe you can't.
731
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,765
You didn't do this on your own.
732
00:37:44,135 --> 00:37:46,171
I hit him first.
733
00:37:47,263 --> 00:37:49,048
At least now you're free to focus on
734
00:37:49,053 --> 00:37:52,366
whatever you're... doing to Kevin.
735
00:37:56,448 --> 00:37:58,062
I made it worse.
736
00:37:58,067 --> 00:38:00,030
- What?
- Yeah, um...
737
00:38:00,540 --> 00:38:02,238
Somehow I made him famous?
738
00:38:04,585 --> 00:38:05,934
Got out of a DUI tonight
739
00:38:05,939 --> 00:38:07,866
because the cops found
out I was his wife.
740
00:38:07,871 --> 00:38:09,257
Wait.
741
00:38:09,985 --> 00:38:12,562
You drove drunk?
742
00:38:13,304 --> 00:38:15,179
What were you thinking?
743
00:38:16,150 --> 00:38:17,499
I can't leave.
744
00:38:17,503 --> 00:38:19,114
I can't kill him.
745
00:38:19,362 --> 00:38:22,017
I'm stuck here like this until I die,
746
00:38:22,241 --> 00:38:24,718
and that's if I'm lucky.
That's if Neil doesn't talk
747
00:38:24,723 --> 00:38:27,030
and Nick... you know.
748
00:38:27,739 --> 00:38:29,202
So...
749
00:38:30,157 --> 00:38:31,942
Why not get drunk and drive my car?
750
00:38:35,874 --> 00:38:37,819
Allison?
751
00:38:39,001 --> 00:38:41,241
This self-destructive bullshit?
752
00:38:42,893 --> 00:38:44,895
Killing yourself?
753
00:38:45,345 --> 00:38:47,241
It's just playing the victim again.
754
00:39:03,660 --> 00:39:06,228
Good morning!
755
00:39:06,297 --> 00:39:08,952
Good morning.
756
00:39:09,091 --> 00:39:11,745
I said, "Good morning."
757
00:39:12,009 --> 00:39:13,158
Is it?
758
00:39:13,163 --> 00:39:15,236
Of course it is.
759
00:39:15,241 --> 00:39:18,252
I thought I was out.
I thought I was down.
760
00:39:18,257 --> 00:39:20,824
But instead, I'm a celebrity!
761
00:39:20,829 --> 00:39:23,565
Oh, God, I'm like a taste-maker.
762
00:39:23,570 --> 00:39:25,424
I'm practically the ninth Wahlberg.
763
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:29,098
You always find a way to win.
764
00:39:29,103 --> 00:39:30,721
And fix your face,
765
00:39:30,726 --> 00:39:32,650
'cause you're winning by proxy.
766
00:39:33,635 --> 00:39:36,508
Right, like my face is the problem.
767
00:39:36,699 --> 00:39:40,627
Oh, and, uh, as
Mrs. Worcester Wild Dude,
768
00:39:40,632 --> 00:39:42,721
you should get a lot of cred,
769
00:39:42,726 --> 00:39:45,010
which you need after word got out
770
00:39:45,015 --> 00:39:47,885
that you ordered Starbucks
over Dunkie's that one time.
771
00:39:48,201 --> 00:39:52,033
But hey, I got a big, uh,
photoshoot this afternoon,
772
00:39:52,046 --> 00:39:54,048
and I want you there with me, baby.
773
00:39:54,099 --> 00:39:55,408
I don't want to be in photos.
774
00:39:55,413 --> 00:39:57,588
Oh, no, I mean like to cheer me on.
775
00:39:57,844 --> 00:39:59,588
What do you think?
776
00:40:01,068 --> 00:40:03,070
I think I'd rather fake my own death.
777
00:40:27,059 --> 00:40:28,669
What?
778
00:40:28,712 --> 00:40:31,683
Patty, I figured it out.
779
00:40:32,027 --> 00:40:33,840
Allison?
780
00:40:35,007 --> 00:40:37,347
This self-destructive bullshit?
781
00:40:38,671 --> 00:40:40,488
Killing yourself?
782
00:40:40,981 --> 00:40:43,035
It's just playing the victim again.
783
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,488
Nick, your brother,
everything that's happened...
784
00:40:50,493 --> 00:40:52,103
I know what we're gonna do.
785
00:40:54,335 --> 00:40:55,946
Put it all on me.
786
00:41:05,036 --> 00:41:07,754
_
787
00:41:09,838 --> 00:41:10,969
_
788
00:41:11,715 --> 00:41:12,715
_
789
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:14,113
God damn it!
790
00:41:15,657 --> 00:41:17,398
I'm trying to fix this.
791
00:41:18,116 --> 00:41:20,660
I have a longer-term solution.
792
00:41:20,665 --> 00:41:22,394
I meant it when I said I'm out.
793
00:41:22,399 --> 00:41:23,399
Okay.
794
00:41:24,652 --> 00:41:26,132
Hi.
795
00:41:26,137 --> 00:41:28,175
The electricity is out at my place.
796
00:41:28,180 --> 00:41:30,004
I'm just trying to save up right now.
797
00:41:30,009 --> 00:41:31,691
Oh, yeah? For what?
798
00:41:32,293 --> 00:41:33,860
Vacation.
799
00:41:34,145 --> 00:41:35,722
They discharged me early.
800
00:41:35,727 --> 00:41:37,425
- Neil?
- Kev!
801
00:41:39,552 --> 00:41:41,159
I gotta tell you something.
802
00:41:41,211 --> 00:41:44,211
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.MY-SUBS.com
54511
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.